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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22680268">The Sith Acolyte- Book 3</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndromedaRising897/pseuds/AndromedaRising897'>AndromedaRising897</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Sith Acolyte [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, The Mandalorian (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>BDSM, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Bondage, Childhood Trauma, Come Swallowing, Conflicted Kylo Ren, Dark Kylo Ren, Discipline, Dominant Kylo Ren, Dominant Masochism, Dubious Ethics, Dubious Morality, F/F, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Bond Shenanigans, Group Sex, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Internal Conflict, Jealous Kylo Ren, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Masochism, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Orgy, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, POV Female Character, POV Original Character, Possessive Kylo Ren, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Public Sex, Rope Bondage, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sadism, Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll, Sex Is Fun, Submission, The Dark Side of the Force, Trauma, Vaginal Fingering, Villains, Vulnerability</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:41:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>336,549</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22680268</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndromedaRising897/pseuds/AndromedaRising897</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>If you’re just catching this story for the first time, never fear! We’ll get you caught up!</p><p>The Sith Acolyte is set five years before The Force Awakens. Kylo Ren has defected from the Light and the First Order is terrorizing the Galaxy.  </p><p>I’m exploring the Sith and the First Order from the perspective of a woman seeking revenge. </p><p>There’s lots of sex, conflict, and space battles. </p><p>Here's a quick recap:</p><p><b>Book 1</b> TL;DR: On a mission to destroy a Resistance cell, Kylo Ren is seduced by Siobhan, a mysterious young woman seeking vengeance against his Master. She is strong in the Force, but is completely untrained. She is taken to the Sith planet Korriban, where she forges her connection to the Darkside.</p><p><b>Book 2</b> TL;DR: Siobhan becomes the second Sith Acolyte in the First Order. She proves herself capable, but is undisciplined and reckless. She and Kylo Ren develop a difficult and competitive relationship. In a crisis of conscience, she attempts vengeance against her Master.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Male Sith Warrior/Original Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Sith Acolyte [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1491287</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>127</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>67</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Coming Down the Mountain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>First, I want to give a huge shout-out to <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B7_Vvn4D8_3/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet">Valcosplay</a> on Instagram. She asked for permission to cosplay Siobhan and did such a fantastic job! The dress, the make-up, the attitude. It’s all there. Thanks so much!</p><p>During the hiatus, I got my <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/andromeda-rising-897">Tumblr</a> up and running. Where once there were just cobwebs and emptiness, now there are posts! Check it out! </p><p> <b>Chapter Summary</b></p><p>Siobhan is reeling after her unsuccessful attempt to kill the head of the First Order. Kylo Ren is in a jealous rage after she spurned him and slept with an enemy. </p><p>She’s unsettled by her meditation in the Kyber crystal caves on Starkiller Base. She now understands the harm she is causing in the Galaxy as an agent of the First Order. </p><p>This is a pivotal moment. She made the decision to live by submitting to Ymir in a moment of weakness. Will she continue down this path of revenge, or dust herself off and try to fix the bridges she burned?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>I</b>
</p><p>It was just as miserable climbing down the mountain as it had been going up. </p><p>This time, Ymir was at my side, helping me stay upright as we picked our way over the icy rocks. He still had my lightsabers hooked to his belt. </p><p>The sun had risen, making the sky blindingly white overhead and reflecting off the snow beneath us. I squinted and held a hand over my eyes, trying not to look up or down. </p><p>It had been a week since I had slept. My body was battered and sore from our fight. All I could focus on was putting one foot in front of the other. </p><p>Because of the fasting, we hadn’t eaten in at least a day and a half. Ymir had been awake for more than a day, too; yet he was patient and sturdy, easily moving over the uneven terrain.  </p><p>The planet was bitterly cold. Above the treeline there was nothing to protect us from the wind. It pulled at my clothing, stinging every centimeter of exposed skin. My cheeks and nose were numb. </p><p>I didn’t have anything left, but at least I was still alive. </p><p>For hours, the only sound was our boots pushing through the snowdrifts. </p><p>Eventually, we made it to the treeline. The world became darker and quieter around us. Ymir stopped for a break. </p><p>I supported myself against a tree, letting my head fall back, my shoulders pressing against the trunk. I watched my breath puff out of me in white clouds. My heart thundered against my ribs. </p><p>Every muscle was screaming at me to give up. </p><p>I closed my eyes and let out a sigh. </p><p>Ymir approached me, putting a hand on my shoulder. When I opened my eyes, I saw he was offering me his water. I took it gratefully. </p><p>“Considering everything that’s happened, you should know more about my history,” Ymir said.  </p><p>I chugged his water, wiped my mouth, and handed the bladder to him, meeting his eyes. </p><p>“My understanding is that Ekene has told you something about my past with Rajendra.”</p><p>I nodded. </p><p>“And I know that Rajendra told you some version of his experience,” Ymir continued, putting the water bladder away in his pack. He motioned for me to follow him, “I think it would be beneficial for you to understand my side of the story.”</p><p>I shouldered my bag and began walking, ignoring the tremble in my legs, the weakness in my knees. </p><p>This was unexpected. I had tried to kill Ymir just hours before, and failed spectacularly. Now he was opening up to me, volunteering information about himself. </p><p>“Ekene told you that Raj and I grew up together,” Ymir said, slowing his pace so I could catch up. </p><p>“He told me that much,” I confirmed, “He said your families were part of the big weapons syndicate during the Empire.”</p><p>“That’s right,” Ymir said as we began walking side by side. He moved slowly, easily wading through the deep snowdrifts, “We were raised like brothers, groomed to follow in our fathers’ footsteps.”</p><p>I was feeling woozy and off-balance. I wanted to pay attention; Ymir was about to give me useful information, but it was so hard to concentrate. My body was withdrawing from Blue, struggling with the lack of sleep, and starving. I had never felt more exhausted. </p><p>“We were in love, for a little while,” Ymir said. His expression was stoic. </p><p>Ymir knew that I had <i>pushed</i> into Raj’s memories, but he didn’t know what I had seen. </p><p>I had gotten myself way too close for comfort. When I reached into Raj’s mind, I had experienced his overwhelming love for Ymir as they fucked on a secluded beach. I could feel it like it was my own emotion.</p><p>“He knew about my studies of the Sith and the Jedi philosophies, but he never took it seriously. It broke his heart when I enlisted.”</p><p>I kept my mouth shut, surprised that Ymir was willing to tell me all this. </p><p>“My father’s company joined the Empire. He helped supply the materials and engineers for the construction of both Death Stars. Raj’s father, was much more cautious. He sold to both sides during the war. Raj and I grew apart. He was waiting for me to come to my senses and rejoin my father’s company.”</p><p>Ymir was silent for another long stretch. The only sound were our legs pushing through the snow, and our shoulders and arms rubbing past the tree branches, needles prodding at our jackets.</p><p>I thought about what Raj had said on his yacht. He told me that he had been the only witness at Ymir’s wedding, then my father killed Ymir’s wife in the Battle of Endor. </p><p>“The end of the war, the Empire’s failure, was a turning point for me,” he finally said, “I didn’t return home like everyone expected. I made the decision to start training as a Sith. I travelled. I went to Korriban…”</p><p>I could see it all so clearly in my head. Ymir showed me his memory of escaping the second Death Star, having to mourn his dead wife in secret. I knew that he had been alone on his first trip to Korriban. </p><p>“I’m not sure if you’re aware of this,” Ymir continued, “but there were trials after the war, bringing the remaining leadership of the Empire to justice. It was a sham, of course. People were just hungry for blood and vengeance. General Organa’s new government rounded up as many of the Empire’s people as they could find. The only sentences were exile or death. My parents went into hiding, but they were compromised. When I returned from my training, I found they had committed suicide rather than stand trial.”</p><p>I didn’t know how to feel. It was hard to be sympathetic towards the man responsible for building two Death Stars. </p><p>Thankfully, Ymir wasn’t looking for an emotional response from me. </p><p>“Rajendra never forgave me for leaving after the war. In his eyes, I was running from the consequences. He didn’t understand my objective,” Ymir said, “When I returned from Korriban, I announced myself as a Sith. The new Rebel government had claimed most of my family’s assets, but there was still some money and property hidden away. From those meager resources, I was able to start the First Order.”</p><p>A thoughtful silence fell between us. </p><p>I drew deep breaths into my lungs, forcing myself to keep marching through the deep snow. </p><p>Ymir’s story was coming together for me. Before, I only had scraps and threads of information to work with. </p><p>Raj’s voice echoed in my mind, ‘I knew Ymir when he was just a man, before he started calling himself a Sith Lord.’</p><p>In Ymir’s stories, he was always the hero, pursuing his divine mission for the Darkside. But I was used to reading between the lines. Ymir had abandoned his family after the war. </p><p>Raj saw the Danakars get into bed with the First Order, then commit suicide instead of facing a trial for war crimes. </p><p>I understood Raj’s perspective now. He had held out on the deal with the First Order because he knew the potential consequences. When we had cornered him in that meeting room - it felt so long ago now - Raj had talked about what might happen to him if the First Order failed. I had been so dismissive at the time, assuming his money and status created a wall around him. Now I knew; Raj had seen Ymir’s parents choose the losing side, then kill themselves rather than be publicly disgraced. </p><p>I was on shaky ground with Ymir. He could have killed me in the caves. He had every right to kill me, but he had left me alive. I had to treat this like an opportunity. </p><p>My body struggled with walking and talking at the same time, but I needed to make my peace offering. </p><p>“Back on Korriban,” I said, finally breaking the silence, “When we were in Darth Bane’s tomb… I remember our conversation about the Darkside… You said you sacrificed yourself…”</p><p>Ymir turned to me with a thoughtful expression. </p><p>“At the time... I just thought… you were just being an asshole…” I continued. </p><p>Ymir would be suspicious if I was too nice. </p><p>He flashed a grin and put an arm around me. </p><p>I looked up as we continued to walk, his arm resting comfortably across my shoulders, “But now… I understand what you meant… when you said you sacrificed yourself.”</p><p>It was exactly what he wanted to hear. </p><p>He pulled me close and kissed the top of my head, covered by my hat and dusted in snow. I could feel him shaking his head, still frustrated with me, but glad that I was listening. </p><p>“We should talk more about your experience on Otomok,” Ymir said, “You’re a good liar. I didn’t know anything was wrong until I saw you after the mission.”</p><p>I made a sharp, bitter laugh, and my breath puffed up in front of my face. “Thanks. I did my best.”</p><p>The conversation was good. It was helping me stay awake, dulling some of the misery of the hike. </p><p>“I never saw you express an ounce of remorse for the men and women you gave up on your Resistance base. What was different about this mission?”</p><p>What a fucking question to ask. </p><p>I decided to be honest. “The base… I had to give them up... for you to agree to train me. That was… I mean… I had waited ten years for that chance. From the moment you left… I was trying to find you…”</p><p>Ymir was patient, giving me the time to find the words. </p><p>“It was different… having Ren there… he went back and forth… and then I saw him… during the battle. Ren enjoys hurting people.”</p><p>The image of his face and shirt splattered with blood flashed across my mind. I saw Pax, unconscious, the gash in his temple, blood seeping into his tightly coiled hair. </p><p>“I closed off the tunnels… when the stormtroopers came in… they didn’t know the tunnels had collapsed… they didn’t know they were trapped… and I could hear everything… I knew what was happening… and I… I had done that to those people…”</p><p>My body still had more tears to shed. I didn’t even try to hide them. </p><p>“It was a slaughter... and it was all my fault.”</p><p>“You said that it wasn’t a fair fight,” Ymir said, his tone was kind. </p><p>I sniffled and coughed - a pathetic show. Those people were all dead now. My tears wouldn’t do anything to help them. </p><p>I had tried to kill Ymir, but I was strung out, completely unprepared. His mercy was the only reason I was still alive. </p><p>I nodded, wiping at my nose. My lips were pressed tightly together. </p><p>“It’s good that you feel the consequences of your actions,” he said, “Kylo Ren hasn’t learned how to balance his emotions. There’s still too much of the Light in him. He rebels against that part of himself by feeding his more sadistic impulses. I’ve given him as much guidance as I can. It’s a lesson he’ll have to learn for himself.”</p><p>“And what about you?” I asked. </p><p>“Most beings aren’t sensitive to the Force, by that alone I’m more powerful than most people,” Ymir answered, “I keep my higher purpose in mind. It’s all a part of my relationship with the Darkside.”</p><p>Our feet crunched through the snow. The terrain was evening out. We had descended the mountain. I was starting to hear sounds of activity. There were ten thousand conscripted soldiers training on this site. I could hear the sounds of their feet in the concrete yard, the military calls, echoing through the trees.</p><p>It couldn’t be much longer until we reached the base. I’d be arriving at Ymir’s side, the acolyte and her Master. </p><p>“Ren said something like that to me too,” I finally replied. </p><p>Ymir made a curt nod, “Snoke and Rajendra like to keep themselves insulated from danger. I accept the consequences of my actions. I still fight on the battlefront when I could choose not to. I won’t hide from my enemies.”</p><p>He looked down and me, the corner of his mouth curling into a smile, “You said you found me to avenge your father’s death, and I still took you in.”</p><p>I frowned and spat. </p><p>He stopped and looked me in the eyes, “You should know that I’ve never allowed anyone to make more than one attempt against my life. I won’t show you mercy next time.”</p><p>
  <b>II</b>
</p><p>As we approached the outskirts of the base, Ymir pulled a comms link from his jacket pocket. He requested that Astrid meet us in our suite with her medical equipment. </p><p>The base was alive with activity. I could hear the sounds of machinery being assembled in the gigantic hangars. Officers were travelling to and fro on transport ATVs.The yard was full of thousands of soldiers all doing exercises, responding to the yells of their drill sergeants. </p><p>We entered the main building. “Ren’s going to be disappointed to see me alive,” I said. </p><p>“Don’t say a word to him,” Ymir’s voice was hard, “If you do anything to start a fight. You’ll deal with the consequences.”</p><p>The building was emptier than before. All the Generals, Admirals, and other top brass had left for their assignments. No one was there to see my walk of shame from the Kyber crystal caves. </p><p>There were small things to be grateful for. </p><p>We moved up the elevator and walked down the hall to our suite. I enjoyed feeling warmth for the first time in more than thirty hours. </p><p>Ymir stopped me before he opened the door, “Wait here. Keep to yourself.”</p><p>Ren was in the rooms. When he had left us in the caves, he was certain that Ymir would kill me. He was in for a nasty shock. </p><p>I didn’t feel too bad about my fight against Ren. He should be dead. Ymir was the only reason Ren was still alive. I had been about to deliver a killing blow when my lightsaber was <i>pulled</i> out of my hand. </p><p>I followed orders and stood outside the suite, back against the wall, while Ymir entered the room. </p><p>A couple minutes passed before I heard the sound of heavy boots on the stone floors. The door slid open and Ren stepped out, covered in his cloak and mask. </p><p>Ymir was right on his heels. </p><p>Ren swung his face, covered in layers of metal, towards me. I could feel his hatred. Ymir had his hand on Ren’s shoulder and was pointing down the hallway. </p><p>“I’ll be down shortly,” he said with a stern voice.</p><p>Ren strode the direction Ymir pointed him, not daring to talk back. </p><p>Ymir turned to me, put his arm around my shoulder, and guided me into the suite. </p><p>Ekene was in the sitting room, a holofeed in front of him, working on something. He glanced up at me for a split second before looking away again. He didn’t greet or acknowledge me. </p><p>He was the one person that truly deserved an apology. I had given him a hard time when he had just been looking out for me. </p><p>I stepped into the suite to find Astrid waiting at the table with her medical bag. </p><p>Her prettiness always made my breath catch in my throat. She was in a slick black uniform. Her red hair curled loosely at her jawline.  There was a spot of pink in her cheeks, bringing out the blue in her eyes. </p><p>She stood up as I entered the room with Ymir behind me. Her gaze darted between the two of us, and I was reminded of Korriban again. </p><p>“I called you here for Siobhan. We can set up in her room,” Ymir said, steering me in that direction.  </p><p>“Yes, Lord Ymir,” Astrid said. She gave me a knowing look and followed the two of us. </p><p>I dropped my pack on the ground and began shedding layers of clothes. My snow-covered hat and coat went over the back of a chair. </p><p>“What happened?” Astrid asked. </p><p>“Siobhan let me know she hasn’t slept in at least five days,” Ymir answered for me, as he closed the door behind us, “My guess is that she had some chemical assistance.”</p><p>I was down to my thermals, a simple black shirt and pants, hugging close to my skin. I turned around and found both Astrid and Ymir looking at me. </p><p>“Yeah, I was taking stims,” I said with a shrug. </p><p>Astrid motioned for me to sit down on the bed. I obeyed. </p><p>“What kind of stims?” she asked, pulling her medical scanner out of the bag. </p><p>“Blue,” I answered. </p><p>“Siobhan!” Astrid exclaimed, not bothering to hide her disappointment. </p><p>I was impressed that she knew what it was.</p><p>Ymir’s eyebrow lifted. He leaned against my door frame, arms crossed. I started to get the sense that he was tired, too. </p><p>“What’s that?” he asked, already knowing he wouldn’t like the answer. </p><p>I started to talk, but Astrid interrupted me. </p><p>“It’s a street-manufactured stimulant, and absolutely toxic,” she told Ymir, lips pursing. She turned to me, “When was your last dose?” </p><p>“I dunno, thirty hours ago?”</p><p>Astrid pricked my finger with a needle from her device, then measured my heart beat and flashed a light in my eyes. </p><p>“Siobhan’s going through withdrawal,” Astrid told Ymir, in firm, no-nonsense tones, “I had to learn about this drug because it’s come up so often with our new recruits. One in eight needed to detox before they left Fedje.”</p><p>“I mean, I’m pretty much over it. It usually just lasts a day or two,” I said with another shrug. </p><p>Ymir was shaking his head, a wry twist to his lips, “Siobhan, whatever drugs are in this room, I want you to hand them over to me.”</p><p>Well, this was humiliating. </p><p>I shuffled over to my satchel. Tasha had hung it next to all my fancy clothing on the floating dolly. </p><p>I dug around in the satchel, not finding the baggie anywhere.</p><p>“It looks like Tasha found it,” I said, “Ask her.”</p><p>“Dr. Vogt, what’s your recommendation?” Ymir asked. </p><p>“I should finish taking her vitals,” Astrid said, “Siobhan should take at least a day to rest. I can provide a sedative…”</p><p>Ymir interrupted, “No sedatives. I don’t want her taking any narcotics that aren’t medically necessary.”</p><p>“Yes, Lord Ymir,” Astrid said. </p><p>“I’ll let you finish the examination. Report to me before you leave the suite.”</p><p>Astrid made a curt, military nod, “Yes, Sir.”</p><p>Ymir left the room, leaving the two of us alone. I realized that he had walked off with my lightsabers still on his belt. I hoped he wouldn’t make me ask for them back. </p><p>Astrid was giving me her full attention now. There was still disappointment in her expression, but she took my hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. </p><p>“Siobhan, I’ve never seen you like this. Will you talk to me?”</p><p>I sighed, looking down at our hands intertwined, “The Otomok mission went off without a hitch, but it was a cold-blooded slaughter. I hadn’t ever done something like that before.”</p><p>Astrid gave me a stretch of silence to show she was listening. “I’ve been worried about you,” she replied, running her hand down my back, “You haven’t seemed like yourself.”</p><p>“Thanks,” I said, with a sad little half-smile, “They called the people on Otomok terrorists, but they weren’t much more than civilians with a few blasters and explosives. I don’t like fighting people that can’t defend themselves.”</p><p>Astrid was looking at me with kind eyes, “You’re not like Kylo Ren,” she said. </p><p>I made a bitter bark of a laugh. </p><p>“I’ve worked with thousands of soldiers, and I’ve only met a handful with a heart like yours. You care about people.”</p><p>“Caring didn’t stop me,” I said, a new batch of tears threatening to spill over my lids, “I still destroyed them, thousands of them, their whole network.”</p><p>Astrid pulled me to her. My head came to rest against her shoulder. “I’ve seen too many good soldiers lose themselves trying to cope after their battles. You can talk to me when you need to.”</p><p>She rubbed my back, comforting me. </p><p>“Thanks, Astrid,” I said, my voice small and choked. I refused to cry.</p><p>“Ymir runs you hard. I’m going to make sure you get to rest for at least a day,” Astrid said, “I’m going to set up IV’s after finishing your bloodwork.”</p><p>She was always no-nonsense, precise and efficient. </p><p>“Have I told you how much I miss you?” I said with a weak grin.  </p><p>Astrid smiled, “I want you to take care of yourself,” she replied, “If I catch you with Blue in your system again, you’ll have hell to pay.”</p><p>***</p><p>Astrid made sure I was taken care of. I took a shower and ate a small meal while she set up IVs. </p><p>When she was done, she closed the door behind her and I was left alone for the first time in days. </p><p>I lay on my back, taking in the silence. </p><p>I was nervous to sleep, nervous to dream. But I had nothing left to fight sleep off. Darkness swallowed me whole.</p><p>I dreamed - indistinct and hazy. </p><p>Different shades of pitch-black swirled behind my eyelids. </p><p>Disjointed memories swam up in my mind. I wandered through them like a ghost. </p><p>I was in an evening gown in the tunnels on Otomok, digging into the rock with a metal spoon. I was inside Rosie trying to make hyperspace calculations - but it wasn’t Rosie, it was an old friend’s smuggling ship. I talked with Ahobri, trying to find an outfit to borrow, but all her clothes were black. </p><p>Between dreams, I woke, rolling over in the bed, indifferent to where I was and the changing light outside my bedroom. </p><p>Eventually, I began to wake up more frequently. Sleep moved just beyond my reach. </p><p>I stayed in bed for a while afterwards. No one was ordering me around. I would enjoy the luxury for as long as I could. </p><p>Sleep had helped. My body and mind felt like they were part of the same system again. I couldn’t feel the clammy, twitching sensations of withdrawal anymore. I had made it out the other side. </p><p>I sat up in bed, looking around at the sparse military room. I stared at the First Order banner blazing crimson on the far wall. Beyond my window I could hear the sound of soldiers rising up from the yard. </p><p>The memory of the Kyber crystals flooded my mind. They were wailing their fate, mourning the destruction they would cause. </p><p>With a frown, I began securing my aura, folding it inwards, cloaking my awareness. </p><p>I needed time to myself. I didn’t want Ymir to sense anything from me. </p><p>As I woke up, uncertainty began to rise in my chest. I had made a choice in the caves. At the time, it hadn’t felt like a choice, but it was. </p><p>Ymir had pinned me down. He gave me the choice to live or die. </p><p>I had chosen to live. I had called him Master, with his hand on my neck and his knee between my shoulderblades. </p><p>Tears sprang into my eyes. </p><p>I felt like a coward. My defiance was hollow. A better person would have gone down fighting rather than submit. </p><p>I could tell myself that I had lived to fight another day, but the truth was that I wasn’t willing to die. </p><p>The First Order banner glared at me. </p><p>I left the bed and slowly ran my hand along the edge, the space between the banner and the wall. I thought about pulling it down, yanking it off the rod, but I didn’t do it. </p><p>Again, Ymir’s words rose up in my mind, ‘I’m fascinated to see the kind of Sith you will become.’</p><p>I was still alive. I had another chance. </p><p>Before I went on this little bender, I had been poised for power and responsibility. I had proved myself on Otomok. I had a successful mission. I was working out a deal with Jukhara. I could have my own money coming in, a cash flow separate from the First Order. </p><p>Then I cracked under the pressure.</p><p>But Ymir had let me live. He wasn’t ready to give up on me. </p><p>What I chose to do next would seal my fate. </p><p>I let the red fabric slip out of my hand. I pulled on a robe from the floating dolly. </p><p>
  <b>III</b>
</p><p>Tasha was waiting for me in the main suite, reading something on a tablet. Her blue finger traced across the screen. She was in an elegantly tailored, slate-gray uniform, her legs neatly crossed. </p><p>“Madam Siniang,” she greeted, standing up. Her head tails were secured in a simple black wrapper. </p><p>“Hey,” I replied, raising a hand, “What day is it?”</p><p>A smile pulled at her lips, but she fought it admirably, “I was told not to disturb you. You’ve been in your room for twenty hours.”</p><p>“I believe that,” I replied, and motioned for her to sit back down, “Did you take the drugs out of my bag?”</p><p>Tasha stiffened with worry. </p><p>“I’m not mad,” I said, dropping into the chair across from her, “I knew you were going to find it.”</p><p>“Um, yes. I took the powder,” Tasha confirmed. </p><p>“It’s fine, really,” I assured her. </p><p>Tasha got to her feet again. </p><p>“I’ll get you caffeine and something to eat,” she said, dropping into her service routine, “Lord Ymir told me to let him know when you woke up.”</p><p>“Yeah, thanks.” I looked around the suite, reorienting myself, “Is Ekene here?” </p><p>“No madam, he left yesterday,” Tasha answered primly. </p><p>That was too bad. I wanted to talk to him in person. </p><p>“What about Snoke and Rajendra?” I asked. I figured I’d find out what the situation was. </p><p>“They both left two days ago, while you and Kylo Ren were training with Lord Ymir.”</p><p>Well that made things a little easier. </p><p>“And where’s Ren?” I asked, my eyes drifting to his closed door. </p><p>“He returned to the Finalizer yesterday,” Tasha answered, hands folded neatly in front of her. </p><p>“Thanks. That’s all I’m curious about,” I told her. </p><p>She made a short bow and I returned to my room to shower. </p><p>I dressed in training clothes, assuming Ymir would have me doing something today. The time on the console was 1400. Astrid was good; Ymir never let me lay around like this. </p><p>When I returned to the main suite, Tasha had a carafe and breakfast waiting for me; it was simple fare, starch and fruit and eggs. </p><p>“Lord Ymir is meeting with Captain Phasma. He said to come down when you’re prepared,” Tasha said, and set my two lightsabers on the table. </p><p>At least he wasn’t making me ask for them back. </p><p>I ate my meal then fired up the holoprojector. I punched in Ekene’s private line. </p><p>He didn’t answer. </p><p>So that was where I stood. </p><p>I stared at the holoscreen for a moment, deciding what I wanted to do. I pulled up the keyboard and typed a message: [Calling to apologize. Wanted to talk in person. Call me back when you want to hear it.]</p><p>Ekene had been a friend to me through all this. He was also helping me set up a contract for Jukhara; I didn’t want that to be derailed because of my bad attitude. </p><p>It wasn’t usual for me to hand out apologies. Hopefully it would interest him enough to call me back. </p><p>My thoughts swung around to Vin. We hadn’t talked since I picked up my last payload and I had an uneasy feeling. I had asked him to steal supplies from the local Resistance base. Twice. He had a knack for putting information together. There was the chance he had heard comms chatter about the mission to Otomok. If he figured out I was working for the First Order, he could take that to the Resistance and I’d have bigger problems to deal with. </p><p>There was nothing left for me to do in the room. With my lightsabers returned to my belt, and my heavy coat and hat on, I made my way out to the yard. </p><p>***</p><p>The wind was fierce today. Icy flurries pricked my cheeks. </p><p>Helmeted and armored recruits were doing drills and combat training in the yard. </p><p>I popped the collar of my jacket and went to find Ymir. </p><p>It didn’t take long. </p><p>He was standing with a gaggle of officers at the base of a squat metal tower. </p><p>Phasma was instructing a unit of soldiers. She stood in the center of them, an inactive riot baton in her hand. A helmeted sergeant was her partner. They were demonstrating weapon drills. </p><p>“Lin!” Ymir greeted as he spotted me. </p><p>I joined the group of officers, doing a round of introductions and handshaking before I crossed my arms over my chest, already cold. I watched Phasma instructing her unit. </p><p>She was someone they could look up to; she was physically imposing, standing out in her spotless chrome armor. </p><p>Phasma explained movements for attack and defense. Her accent was posh, just like the other First Order officers, but her tone was stern and commanding. </p><p>She must have worked on the accent. She had told me she was born on a jogan fruit plantation in the Outer Rim. There was no way she had grown up speaking like that. </p><p>After Phasma’s instruction, she separated the soldiers into pairs for sparring practice. </p><p>Ymir approached the group, providing individual critiques and adjustments. </p><p>It was all politics. Everyone was watching him. </p><p>These soldiers, these conscripts, were getting attention from the head of the First Order. He was formal with them, but he didn’t bark and intimidate like the drill sergeants. </p><p>He wore plain clothes underneath a heavy black jacket, with an undecorated winter cap covering his head and ears. </p><p>This was how loyalty was built. The officers watched him roll up his sleeves and work in the yard, participating in this project. The conscripts saw him getting involved directly in their training. </p><p>As the partnered soldiers finished their first round of sparring, Ymir walked over to Phasma, placing a large friendly hand on her shoulder. They were the same height. </p><p>“Now why don’t we show them what that weapon is really capable of,” he said with a grin. </p><p>“Yes, Lord Ymir,” Phasma replied, a hint of playfulness sneaking through the audiofeed of her chrome helmet. </p><p>The soldiers assembled around them. </p><p>Ymir activated his amber lightsaber. Phasma activated the riot baton with a pump of her arm, its plasma filaments crackling blue. </p><p>The officers around me were fascinated and moved closer. I joined them, happy to stand on the sidelines. </p><p>Phasma was the first to go on the offensive. She stepped forward, the mobile end of the baton whirling in a flashy circle before she lunged at Ymir. </p><p>He blocked her with a smooth motion, his golden blade sparking against the plasma filament. </p><p>The soldiers were captivated. None of them had seen a lightsaber before. They had grown up in the Outer Rim, the same kind of backwater planet I was born on. The Sith and the Jedi were just legends, bogey men and heroes. Now they got to see a fully trained Sith in action. </p><p>Phasma held her own against Ymir. They were similar in size. She was a bruiser, wielding the baton with confident, powerful motions. The long hilt of the baton protected her forearm. The mobile end could rotate in a full circle, making it a challenge to predict the direction of her attacks. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> for her and Ymir, tracking their movements. They danced across the snowy concrete; their attacks were calculated and precise. </p><p>Ymir always had the upper-hand, though. With the Force on his side, she had no way to get ahead of him. </p><p>He deflected the rotating end of the baton with his sword, sending it spinning dangerously close to her body. As Phasma reacted, she left herself open to attack, and Ymir pointed his blade at her chrome-plated chest. The match was over. </p><p>The officers clapped while Ymir and Phasma shook hands, both of their weapons deactivated. </p><p>The conscripts were thunderstruck. I could feel their excitement, tinged with fear. </p><p>Phasma took over again, “All right maggots, that’s your breather! Find your partner and start practicing! I expect you to have drills five through eight memorized today!”</p><p>Ymir walked back over to our group, “Gentlemen, I’ll be training with my student now,” he said, making eye contact with me. </p><p>His student. Way to keep me down a peg. </p><p>“Yes, Lord Ymir,” the men said, and dispersed to whatever work they had. </p><p>Ymir began to walk towards a quieter corner of the yard. We went around the side of a hangar. Inside, engineers and service droids were assembling machinery. </p><p>I was being led into the dark forest surrounding the base. Tall evergreen trees loomed around us. Immediately, the sound dropped by several decibels. The ground was covered in snow, hiding uneven rocks scattered across the ground. </p><p>I worked to keep up the pace, matching Ymir’s long strides. </p><p>“How are you feeling?” he asked. </p><p>“Better,” I replied. </p><p>“You’ve cloaked yourself again,” he observed, “How were your dreams?”</p><p>“Nothing special.”</p><p>“I wasn’t aware you were having distressing dreams until Kylo Ren told me. You were scared enough to keep yourself awake for days. What are you so afraid of?”</p><p>I hated this. I hated being put down in front of the other officers. I hated that Ymir knew I was struggling. </p><p>The mission on Otomok was supposed to gain his trust and confidence, but I had accomplished the opposite. I fucked up the landing by trying to outrun my fear and anger.  </p><p>My feet punched through the calf-deep snowdrifts. My breath was starting to come more quickly. </p><p>Honesty was the only way out of this mess.</p><p>“I’ve had nightmares ever since I left Korriban,” I said, “It’s like being in the grassland all over again. I dream about the desert and my father.”</p><p>I dreamed about drowning in sand, swallowed alive by the planet.</p><p>“And you were afraid of Kylo Ren seeing your dreams?” Ymir asked. </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“I can’t make you share them with me, but I can help guide you. You should talk to me when they happen.”</p><p>“Thanks,” I said, grudgingly. I changed the topic, “I tried to call Ekene, before I came down to the yard.”</p><p>“Oh?” Ymir replied. </p><p>“I was a dick to him that morning, and I wanted to apologize, but he didn’t answer.”</p><p>We had arrived at a small clearing. The sky was heavy and gray overhead. We were surrounded by dark trees, towering above us. Ymir stopped our march.</p><p>He looked at me, a good-natured smile tugging at his lips, “An apology from Siobhan Zhang, what a rare occasion,” he teased. </p><p>“Does he know about our fight?” I asked. </p><p>“I told him that you had a difficult time in your meditations, and were coming down off of street drugs.”</p><p>“Always the flatterer,” I quipped. Then I remembered myself, “Well that makes things easier.” </p><p>“Give him a few days to come around. He thinks of you as a true friend. I’m glad to see you’re willing to fix the relationship.”</p><p>Ymir took my hand and squeezed it, glove to glove. </p><p>“You were overwhelmed by your experience in the Kyber caves. I want us to do a walking meditation together. We’ll delve into what upset you.”</p><p>Of course, we were getting right back to it. </p><p>My jaw clenched, but I didn’t argue. </p><p>Ymir began to move around the edge of the clearing and motioned for me to walk at his side. Our steps were regular and I noticed the purposeful way Ymir planted his feet, heel down first, rolling along the bottom of his boot. </p><p>“The energy from the Kyber crystals is very powerful. When you surrender yourself to the Force in a place like that, it bends your perceptions and experience,” Ymir said, his voice taking on that familiar, lecturing tone. </p><p>“Our meditations joined in the caves,” Ymir continued, “You might have thought it was a hallucination, or that the interaction was one-sided. I saw you as you perceived yourself. You were naked and covered in blood from head to toe. What did you see?”</p><p>My boots crunched through the snow, matching Ymir’s slow and even pace. Right, left, right, left. </p><p>I could feel Ymir extending his awareness, sinking towards that shared space of the Force. He <i>reached</i> for me and I knew better than to resist him. </p><p>“The crystals were crying out to me. You’re shaping them for destruction and they were mourning their fate,” I said. </p><p>Right, left, right, left. </p><p>In this connected space, Ymir could hear the layered chorus, crying out, not wanting to be used for war and death.</p><p>Ymir laughed, a full sound, echoing in the quiet forest. </p><p>I stopped and looked at him, but he kept walking. </p><p>“The crystals reflect what is in your heart and mind. They don’t have individual desires.”</p><p>In my mind’s eye, I saw Ymir’s meditation, feeling the threads of power running through the planet. He felt the surging energy of the crystals and the thousands of souls on this planet, the army that he was growing here. </p><p>I watched my boots sink through the white snow. </p><p>“That wasn’t the will of the Kyber crystals, that was your own fear and conflict reflected back towards you. Reach towards it and you’ll see.”</p><p>Fighting a scowl, I <i>reached</i> through the planet. I felt the same chiming gentle energy I had felt when I arrived. The edge of desperation and pain was gone. </p><p>“The Kyber crystals are just a tool to be used, power to be harnessed,” Ymir said. </p><p>“A sacrifice to the Darkside,” I said with a bitter sneer. </p><p>Why couldn’t I keep my fucking mouth shut?</p><p>“If you lose the attitude, then I agree. It’s a sacrifice to the Darkside, in its own way.”</p><p>We walked around the perimeter of the clearing, our circle gradually narrowing, spiraling inwards. </p><p>I allowed my thoughts to flow, sinking into the energy of the planet, sinking into the Darkside. </p><p>It wasn’t the same as my experience in the cave; the Kyber crystals weren’t crying out in pain any more. Their energy felt beautiful and delicate. But I could feel the hunger of the Darkside. It was a pit, a black hole, a gravity well, pulling in anything that got too close, always needing more. </p><p>Our circles grew smaller as we moved towards the center of the field. My feet kept up the same rhythm, my breath moved steadily in and out of my lungs, my thoughts flowed easily.</p><p>Ymir had his visions of power and conquest, but I didn’t see the same thing he did. </p><p>When Ren and I had meditated on our power, it felt like a gaping mouth, always hungry. It would never be satisfied. </p><p>I had turned over a base of fellow Resistance soldiers to take my place at Ymir’s side. I destroyed a group of freedom fighters to secure my place within the First Order. </p><p>Ren had killed his fellow apprentices at the Jedi Academy. </p><p>Ymir called it victory, but it was all just blood and death. </p><p>This time, I didn’t let my feelings overwhelm me. </p><p>He was right, my hands weren’t clean. I made the decision to kill a person before I had any meaningful connection with the Darkside, long before I was an agent of the First Order.  </p><p>We made it to the middle of the clearing and Ymir stopped, taking in a deep breath and letting out a long, rich exhale. </p><p>He put his arm around my shoulder, dusting snow off of me. </p><p>“Let’s go back to the base.”</p><p>***</p><p>When we returned to the base, I was released to the suite and encouraged to rest, while Ymir continued to work. He was letting me off easy today.</p><p>There was a message from Ekene waiting for me on the holoprojector: [I’ll take an apology.]</p><p>The short note made me smile. I still had a chance. </p><p>I took time to think through what I wanted to say. Ekene wasn’t used to people talking back to him. He lived in a bubble of flattery and respect. </p><p>Tasha brought me food. I showered and put on a robe. </p><p>I set up the holoprojector on top of my bed, sitting cross-legged on top of the blankets. I drew in a breath and punched in Ekene’s line. </p><p>He answered this time. He was dressed in beautiful green and blue formal robes. His locs were bundled on top of his head. He had a judgemental glimmer in his eye. </p><p>“Ekene, thanks for talking with me,” I said. </p><p>There was a skeptical twist to his lips, “I’m not going to forgive you today, no matter what kind of speech you have prepared. You made me very upset.”</p><p>I couldn’t help but laugh, bringing a hand up to my mouth. I felt the tension let up a notch. </p><p>“I was a real asshole to you. I’m sorry,” I said, meeting his dark brown eyes. </p><p>“I’ll consider the apology,” Ekene said primly, moving his arm to end the call. </p><p>“Please, let’s talk for a second,” I replied.</p><p>Ekene paused his hand, “I’m not ready to like you again,” he said, “Are you going to try to make me like you again?”</p><p>“Well, of course I am,” I said, trying not to grin. He knew me. “I wanted to apologize, and I thought I’d tell you the truth - what happened.”</p><p>He frowned in response. That wasn’t good. </p><p>“I already know what happened,” he shot back, “After everything Lord Ymir has done for you, you turn your back on him for someone like Rajendra! That’s why I’m angry at you Siobhan. It’s not about our exchange.”</p><p>I needed to think fast or this conversation would go off the rails. </p><p>“Rajendra is a snake,” I said, using Ekene’s words, “He tried to play me, and I reached into his mind. I showed him he couldn’t hide any thoughts or memories. I could take whatever I wanted from him.”</p><p>Ekene crossed his arms over his chest. </p><p>“I’m not on Raj’s side,” I continued, “I got in over my head, and didn’t know what to do.”</p><p>“Go on…” Ekene said, arms wrapped tightly. </p><p>I took a breath, “When I told you about the mission on Otomok, I didn’t tell you the whole truth.”</p><p>Ekene was watching me closely, not trusting me, not wanting to change his opinion. </p><p>“I told you what you wanted to hear. The truth is that it was an ugly, brutal assignment. I’ve never hurt people in that way. I closed off the guerrilla’s escape route and listened to them being shot down, trapped in their own tunnels. It made me go a little crazy.”</p><p>Ekene allowed a moment of silence to stretch between us before he released his arms with a sigh, “Siobhan, you know I’ve never seen combat. I’ve never been to war, so I don’t know what you’re going through.”</p><p>Thank the gods, there was some sympathy in his heart. </p><p>“I’m still mad at you, but I’ll think about what you said,” he finished, with a note of petulance in his voice.</p><p>“I understand,” I said with a small smile. </p><p>Ekene pursed his lips, “You have luck on your side,” he said, “I had already sent your Madame’s information to my contacts before you started this whole mess. They’re moving forward, so you might hear from your woman soon.”</p><p>“Shit, thanks Ekene,” I said, trying to sound humble and grateful when what I really wanted was to pump my fist in the air. </p><p>He ended the call. </p><p>I flopped backwards into the pillows. </p><p>Ekene would come around. I was so glad that Ymir didn’t tell him about our fight. If he knew that I not only went and fucked Raj, but then tried to kill Ymir again, that might be the end of our friendship. </p><p>The rooms were quiet. </p><p>I thought about pulling on clothes and going to find Ymir, or seeing what was happening on the base, but my eyelids were heavy. </p><p>I threw my robe on the ground, crawled under the blankets, and let sleep come. </p><p>
  <b>IV</b>
</p><p>My dreams returned me to Korriban. </p><p>I walked across red sand with bare feet. I was in the valley behind the Academy, approaching the burial ground of the old Sith masters. Ahead of me were the statues of men in robes and hoods, flanking the enormous, metal gate. </p><p>There were three columns of fire on either side of me, swirling up from the sand, rising into the dusty red sky. I could feel the heat. I listened to the roar of the fire as it spiraled upwards. </p><p>My feet moved on their own, drawing me to the entrance of the burial ground. </p><p>I could feel the Darkside; it was pulling me towards the gate. </p><p>There was sand between my toes and a strange, hollow calmness in my chest. </p><p>I moved without thought or intention. </p><p>When I arrived at the gate, I watched my hand rise. I <i>pushed</i> at the gates. The last time I was here, it had taken every ounce of strength that I had to open them. Now, they both swung open easily under my power, revealing a dark expanse beyond.</p><p>I wasn’t facing the wide, crumbling streets of the burial ground. All that lay beyond me was a void. Deep, rumbling sounds emerged from the shifting black space. </p><p>My feet began to take me forward into the darkness. </p><p>I didn’t want to go. I didn’t like this place. I didn’t want to find out what lay beyond the gates. </p><p>But I couldn’t stop myself. </p><p>With careful, even steps I moved into the darkness. As I did, a cobwebby sensation spread across my skin. </p><p>My foot crossed the threshold and I was swallowed whole. </p><p>***</p><p>My dreams were uneasy, but I woke with a feeling of peace and centeredness in my heart. </p><p>I lay in bed for a while, blinking, returning to my body. My room was dark. I had the feeling it was sometime in the awful hours of early morning. </p><p>I couldn’t hear any sounds from the yard. I had managed to wake up before the soldiers. </p><p>When I got out of bed, the time on the console read 0400. I requested caffeine and breakfast, and pulled on my robe before walking into the main suite. </p><p>A service droid was in minutes later with a carafe, mug, and a warm plate. </p><p>Ymir emerged from his room just as I was finishing my meal. He was already dressed for the day, wearing his utility clothes with long sleeves and extra layers beneath. His heavy jacket was draped over his arm. </p><p>“I was planning to wake you up for training,” he said. </p><p>“Beat you to it,” I said with a grin. </p><p>Ymir gave a good-natured smile, “Get dressed. Bring your lightsabers.”</p><p>***</p><p>After so many days on this planet, I was starting to get used to the cold. </p><p>Ymir had us running laps around the perimeter of the yard. The snow was dazzling under the floodlights. </p><p>We got our routine started before the soldiers were out of the barracks. I noticed the drill sergeants adding that fact to their loud patter as they ordered their units through exercises. </p><p>Ymir and I stayed out of their way, but our training was public. We ended with a few sparring matches with our lightsabers.</p><p>I enjoyed the attention of the crowd. It took the edge off. We were something special to these conscripts. I remembered what it felt like when Leia was on the base at D’Qar. Everyone was at their best, wanting to work hard to impress their leader. </p><p>They saw us training and practicing at the same time they were. The soldiers could look up to Ymir; he didn’t separate himself through fancy clothes and stiff manners. I was the same, too; I was born in the Outer Rim, a farmgirl with a scar on her face. </p><p>I thought about Kylo Ren, covering himself in black robes, his face hidden behind a mask, his voice fed through an audiofeed. He might as well be a droid. </p><p>Ymir and I sparred for several matches. I put effort into the practice. When we finished training, my cheeks were red, my breath puffing white in front of me; the clammy sweat made my thermals stick to my skin. </p><p>Afterwards, we returned to the main building. </p><p>“We should talk about your next assignment,” Ymir said as we took the elevator up to the suite.</p><p>“I’m ready,” I said. </p><p>I had spent almost a week on this planet. I wanted to do something new. </p><p>“I’ll have lunch brought up. Go change and we’ll begin planning.”</p><p>***</p><p>Ymir had his holoprojector on the table. </p><p>A service droid served us courses of soup, vegetables, and meat while we talked. </p><p>“I began putting together this assignment after seeing your work on Otomok. However, your recent behavior has left me feeling much less confident in sending you out on your own.”</p><p>“Oh?” I replied, moving food around on my plate. </p><p>“I intend to make use of your knowledge of the cartels and smuggling outfits in the Galaxy, but you’ll be on a shorter leash than I originally planned.”</p><p>Way to rub it in. </p><p>I sat patiently as Ymir pulled up a detailed Galactic map on the holoprojector. Planets of interest were in yellow and orange. On one side of the map, I spotted the places I was familiar with, the Otomok region, Fedje, and other backwater Outer Rim planets that the First Order was recruiting from. On the opposite side of the map were the unknown regions, where we were currently sitting, on this secret construction site. </p><p>“I’ll be frank with you, our supply chain is a nightmare,” Ymir said, “Me and my team of engineers has worked for years on the problem of getting materials to this corner of the Galaxy undetected.”</p><p>“Yeah… this map really puts it in perspective.”</p><p>The First Order needed to move their supplies, machinery, and conscripts from the far reaches of the Outer Rim, clear across to the other side of the Galaxy, all without being discovered by the New Republic or Resistance.</p><p>Ymir added a layer to the map showing me the First Order’s hyperspace routes. </p><p>“Our transport ships are using a navigation program that will take them through multiple jumps. This way the New Republic won’t notice our traffic into the unknown regions. We have a specific schedule for transportation and delivery.</p><p>When I saw the planets of interest and the First Order’s hyperspace routes laid out all together on a map, I understood the problem Ymir needed me for. </p><p>“The cartels and smuggling outfits own all that territory,” I said. </p><p>“Exactly. That’s where you can be useful to us.”</p><p>“So what do you have in mind?” I asked. </p><p>This was exciting. I was already starting to think through options. </p><p>“I thought we would work on this problem together,” Ymir said, a hungry gleam in his eye. He liked the planning stage just as much as I did, “I’d like to know your first impressions.”</p><p>“All right,” I said with a grin, “So, based on the map alone, I see the Smuggler’s Alliance and the Hutts as your biggest threats.”</p><p>Ymir nodded. “That’s right,” he confirmed, “The Smuggler’s Alliance alone is responsible for five percent of our losses every cycle.”</p><p>I made a low whistle, “That’s a new development. Tynne never had us doing jobs against the First Order, he thought it was too risky.”</p><p>“They’ve started to become more aggressive, and they’ve become equally good at evading us.”</p><p>The information wasn’t too surprising. The Smuggler’s Alliance was loosely connected to the Resistance; unlike most of the criminal outfits in the Galaxy, they saw themselves in opposition to the First Order. </p><p>I imagined that this more aggressive trend was being led by Matthias. He was a young upstart, full of fire and ambition. </p><p>I didn’t share these observations with Ymir. I was going to keep my cards close to my chest.</p><p>“And what about the Hutts?” I asked. </p><p>Ymir sighed in response, “Unfortunately, it’s harder to know the full scope of their impact. They use bribes and extortion every step of the way. As soon as we think we’ve shored up our weaknesses, they’ve found another way to exploit us and they know how to cover their tracks.”</p><p>I had to fight a smile. The Hutts were real bastards. They had deep pockets and played a long game. Their criminal family had been able to weather the Empire and a Galactic civil war. The First Order didn’t scare them. </p><p>“So, what do you want me to do about it?” I asked. </p><p>“If I told you I wanted both organizations destroyed, how would you react?”</p><p>Now I laughed, “You’d only be making more problems for yourself,” I replied, “Going after a group like the Smuggler’s Alliance would create a power vacuum in the Mid- and Outer Rim, then you’d be dealing with thousands of idiots trying to stake their own claims. Getting rid of the Hutts would be even worse. They might be assholes, but they have rules they enforce. They maintain a kind of order in their territory.”</p><p>“That’s why we haven’t staged a direct attack against either group,” Ymir said, “However, I’m not willing to continue playing defense. I need these groups under First Order purview.”</p><p>“How much money are you willing to spend?” I asked with a toothy grin. </p><p>Ymir raised an eyebrow, “What’s your idea, Siobhan?”</p><p>“I think we should buy them out.”</p><p>Ymir laughed and shook his head, “Be serious.”</p><p>“I am,” I said, not backing down. I made a wide half circle with my arm, gesturing at the Mid and Inner Rim territories, “The only reason the gangs and cartels exist is to make money. It’s their only purpose. I would solve this problem by paying them, and providing intelligence on targets you’d like them to go after instead.”</p><p>Ymir’s expression was skeptical, “How is that any different than their current extortion? More importantly, I don’t want word getting out that the First Order is making payoffs to criminal organizations.”</p><p>I wanted to sigh and roll my eyes. The First Order only knew how to conquer and colonize. They didn’t know shit about forming friendly relationships with the working people of the Galaxy.</p><p>“Hear me out,” I said, “This happens all the time. Rival gangs, governments, warlords, whoever, will approach a group and pay them to stop their activities in a sector. The buyer will provide other opportunities and intelligence to keep them occupied. It’s a ‘I’ll scratch your back and you’ll scratch mine’ kind of deal.”</p><p>“How can a gang be trusted to keep their word?” Ymir asked with obvious disdain. </p><p>Spoken like someone who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.</p><p>“Easy, you offer good money and then point them towards your enemies,” I said, “I can tell you how I would handle the Smuggler’s Alliance.”</p><p>Ymir sat back in his chair and waved a hand towards me, “Let’s hear it.”</p><p>“All right, so the Smuggler’s Alliance is made up of five distinct branches, and they operate through the entire area your ships will be traveling. I used to work with them, so I am going to have to use my real identity, but that’s fine because the last affiliation I had was with the Resistance. There is zero reason for them to suspect I’m working for the First Order.”</p><p>“We’ll need to revisit you operating under your given name. But keep going.”</p><p>It was obvious how little Ymir knew, and I did my best not to be condescending; I wasn’t going to let him know I had finally found a weakness. </p><p>“So, I would approach each leader of the Alliance individually and make an offer - a few hundred thousand credits, paid in installments - for them to move their activities out of certain sectors. Obviously, not just the sectors your ships will be using. We’d make sure they aren’t tempted to go back on the deal by giving them fresh information on other targets. If we’re strategic, we can make it look like we’re a rival company, or a politician wanting to give their enemies a hard time.”</p><p>Ymir folded his hands in his lap, eyes narrowing in thought. </p><p>I saw that as a sign to keep going, “I know you’re sitting on top of all kinds of information on the New Republic. You could point them towards anyone you wanted. As long as we keep the money and information flowing, they’ll stay happy and out of your way.”</p><p>“And you can build and maintain those relationships?” Ymir said. </p><p>“That’s all I’ve been doing since I left Tevel,” I replied. </p><p>***</p><p>We spent the next few hours finalizing a plan.</p><p>Both of us had our tablets out, making notes and checklists. The large map of the Mid- and Outer Rim was front and center on the table. </p><p>Ymir hammered me with questions. His main concern was anonymity. </p><p>I was going to pose as a freelancer, negotiating for one of the large manufacturing corporations in the Mid-Rim. I would refuse to disclose who my employer was, but I’d be providing the kind of intelligence a company would use to attack a rival. </p><p>For this mission to work, I would need anonymous accounts to transfer large sums of money to criminals. I was acting alone, without supervision. </p><p>After the tryst with Raj and my meltdown in the Kyber crystal caves, Ymir’s trust in me had evaporated. </p><p>I was going to be kept on a very short leash. Ymir set a schedule where I would contact him at every stage of the mission. He also ordered me to write a military report for each leg. I was to disclose every person I talked with and the information exchanged; any favors or bribes I used had to be documented. </p><p>He was going to turn my perfect assignment into a real drag. </p><p>Still, I would be out on my own, a free agent, operating undercover. The plan was for me to start by making inroads to the Smuggler’s Alliance. Tomorrow I’d ship out to Takodana and see if I could find anyone that would help get me a meeting with the leadership. If Takodana was a bust, I’d head to Rishii and try my luck there. </p><p>When we were done, Ymir poured us a couple fingers of whiskey and we toasted. </p><p>“To Freedom,” I said silently, glad that my thoughts were guarded. </p><p>
  <b>V</b>
</p><p>The next morning, I woke before the console alarm. </p><p>I was ready to get off this base and start doing something real. </p><p>I packed quickly, tossing utility pants, plain shirts, underwear and socks into a black kit bag. I was able to find my olive jacket with the fur collar and a simple brown poncho I thought I had lost. </p><p>The clothes didn’t really matter. I just needed something that didn’t look First Order. My electronics would be the most important part of the mission. I had my tablet with its layers of encryption and passcodes. I had empty data chips that I would program on the hyperspace flight. </p><p>During our meeting, Ymir had given me data files, a lot of stolen intelligence from the First Order. I had information on rival companies and government operations, even lists of moles and double agents.</p><p>Next to my door was a second kit bag, filled with credits in locked canisters. I’d be using the cash for bribes or any other expenses I had as I worked my way up the ladder. </p><p>When I emerged from my room, Ymir was at the table with breakfast and a mug in front of him, steam rising. There was an empty plate, mug and utensil waiting for me. </p><p>“It looks like you’re ready to ship out,” Ymir greeted as I dropped into the chair, leaving the kit bags on the ground next to me. </p><p>I poured a mug of caffeine and took a grateful drink. </p><p>“Just about,” I said, “I’m going to take inventory on my ship, then I’ll be on my way. What’s next for you?”</p><p>“I’ll be stopping on the Finalizer, then I’m leaving to meet with a New Republic delegation to discuss the border operations in the expansion zone.”</p><p>“Never a dull moment,” I said with a grin, and speared a couple of pieces of fruit. </p><p>“The meetings are going to be very dull,” Ymir replied, not missing a beat, “But I need the New Republic to think we’re playing their game, for now. I want them to think we don’t have the capability to engage in all-out war, so we’re willing to pursue diplomacy in disputed territory.”</p><p>“Five years is a long time to play a game,” I said, taking a piece of bread from the tray. </p><p>Ymir smiled, “I’ve been working on the plans for Starkiller base for over five years. Now that she is finally under construction, another five years isn’t too long to wait.”</p><p>We finished our meal, and I stood up from the table. I shouldered the kit bag, my lightsabers around my waist. </p><p>Ymir stood and embraced me before I left. </p><p>“We all have experienced hardship and crises as we create our path within the Darkside,” he said, pulling away, a large hand still resting on my upper arm, “I see so much potential in you, Siobhan. I saw that fire in you ten years ago, and I’m proud to have you as my acolyte. Don’t allow yourself to be distracted by impulses, you’re capable of so much more.”</p><p>Tears were clamoring at my lower lids, and I pulled in a breath. </p><p>I had cried enough in front of Ymir. “Thanks,” I said. My voice was a croak and my face felt hot. </p><p>He kissed my cheek and pulled away, “Good luck. I look forward to your status updates.”</p><p>“Sure thing, boss.”</p><p>***</p><p>I made my way across the snowy yard. </p><p>The soldiers were organized in their units. Some were doing laps around the perimeter, others were doing push-ups on the frozen concrete. The drill sergeants’ yells and the formalized call-backs echoed around the space. </p><p>It was possible that this experience of Basic training with the First Order was still better than what they had gone through on their homeworld. They would be getting regular money and food, a small luxury for someone who grew up in the Outer Rim.</p><p>As I made my way to the hangar, I spotted Phasma in a group of officers. She stood head and shoulders above the men, even more intimidating in her chrome armor. </p><p>“Captain Phasma,” I called out, raising a hand in greeting. </p><p>“Lin,” she said, “Do you have your next assignment?”</p><p>“Sure do,” I said, hefting the two kit bags, “Going to be doing some enforcement work on our supply lines in the Outer Rim.”</p><p>“You’ll make sure we get our next shipment of recruits safe and sound,” Phasma said. Her posh tone was friendly. </p><p>The officers were surprised with her casualness, speaking informally to the mysterious Sith warrior with two lightsabers on her belt. </p><p>“It was really nice to meet you, Phasma. I’m sure we’ll see each other soon,” I said, shaking her hand. </p><p>“Thank you, Lin. I look forward to it.”</p><p>***</p><p>There had been some internal construction in the hangar; the walls were lined with empty racks I had seen on Star Destroyers; it looked like they were getting ready to start training pilots on the base. </p><p>Once I was aboard Rosie, I did a thorough check of her interior, making sure there was nothing that could tie me to the First Order. </p><p>I was low on food, but all the base had was standard-issue rations, and that would be a dead give away. </p><p>Rosie’s tank wasn’t that large - I had to plan a refueling stop anyways. I’d do my shopping and currency exchange at the fuel depot. </p><p>I settled myself into the cockpit and turned on my music while I warmed up the engines. </p><p>I checked my comms for new messages. </p><p>Jukhara had sent me a line two days ago. [I got a call from your people. Call me back when you get this.]</p><p>Finally, things were starting to turn around for me. </p><p>Once my engines were warm, I cleared myself for departure and rose up into the sky. </p><p>Soaring above the planet, there were signs of active drilling. I saw smoke rising from dozens of spots in the mountains and the forest. I pushed down the memory of Otomok; after the battle on Base One, I watched squadrons of TIE fighters swarming over the surface, pillars of smoke rising in the air from the camps they had destroyed. </p><p>I cruised through the atmosphere and was greeted by the Finalizer, Ren’s Star Destroyer, above me in open space. </p><p>I made a rude gesture at the ship. </p><p>Ren was such an asshole. I was done spending my time with jealous and controlling men. </p><p>I set my hyperspace coordinates to make a quick jump through the Unknown Regions. I wanted to call Jukhara, and I didn’t want to risk anyone in the First Order overhearing our conversation. </p><p>After a five minute jump, I emerged into empty, uncharted space. </p><p>I made a quick scan of the area to confirm it was safe to hang around for a few minutes. </p><p>There were so many stories about the dangers of the Unknown Regions, everything from free-floating space dragons to ghost crews roaming empty space looking for victims. Most of it was baanthashit, but it was better to keep an eye out. </p><p>I punched in the code to Jukhara’s line and she answered right away, her craggy Devaronian face appearing in my staticky holofeed. </p><p>“Sorry to make you wait a few days,” I said, “I’ve been out on assignment.”</p><p>“I have to admit, I thought you were having me on. I never expected anyone to actually call me,” Jukhara said, idling cleaning one of her long, talon-shaped nails. </p><p>“Oh come on. I talk plenty of shit, but not when it comes to business,” I said with a grin, “How do you like the deal?”</p><p>“I liked it enough to sign a contract, seventy thousand credits per cycle,” Jukhara replied. </p><p>That was good money. Really good money. </p><p>“So about my fifteen percent...” I began. </p><p>“I never agreed to fifteen percent,” Jukhara said. Her voice was low and hoarse, with that playful edge she used for bargaining, “I’d be willing to do seven percent, because we’re friends.”</p><p>“Twelve percent,” I said, sticking to my guns, “I just delivered over two hundred thousand credits to you, because we’re friends.”</p><p>Jukhara barked a laugh, “Ten percent, anything more is robbery.”</p><p>“I’ll take ten percent,” I replied, “Have Ahobri hold onto it. I should be coming to Artrix after my next job.”</p><p>“Done. We’ll shake on it when you get here,” Jukhara said, putting a fresh roll of t’bac onto the end of her ornate cigarillo holder, “Speaking of that. We need to talk about your last visit.”</p><p>Jukhara kept up her easy tone and disinterested attitude. My guts turned to ice. </p><p>“Oh?” I said, leaning over the console screen, playing it cool. </p><p>Jukhara lit her roll of t’bac and exhaled the smoke.</p><p>“You brought Kylo Ren into my establishment, without any kind of warning. Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?”</p><p>Aw fuck. Here we go. </p><p>It was useless to deny it. Jukhara could see right through me. </p><p>“Uh, yeah. I thought you wouldn’t find out,” I said, “...how did you find out?”</p><p>Jukhara pinched the bridge of her nose, and for a moment, she reminded me of Ymir. </p><p>“Siobhan, you come in flush with cash saying you’re working for the First Order, and you really didn’t expect me to look into it?” she said. </p><p>I was grimacing, wondering how this was going to bite me in the ass, “I didn’t even tell Ahobri. Does she know?”</p><p>Jukhara shook her head, “Of course I didn’t tell her. No one knows but me and my investigator. I don’t need that kind of trouble in my life.”</p><p>Thank the gods. </p><p>Jukhara paused, giving me a more careful look, “I’m not easily surprised, but this took me completely off-guard. Then I did more research. There are whispers that there’s another Sith serving the First Order, a young woman with a scar on her face…”</p><p>“It’s a big Galaxy. There are lots of rumors,” I said easily, not letting Jukhara see me sweat. </p><p>“I expect you to talk with Ahobri soon,” Jukhara said, “You should be the one to tell to her about this. I don’t want her hearing it from me.”</p><p>“I’ll come out your way when my job is over. We can talk then.”</p><p>“Goodbye, Zhang,” Jukhara said and ended the call. </p><p>I slumped back in my seat, heart pounding. </p><p>She knew. </p><p>Jukhara had put the pieces together. This could develop into a real problem, but, in the moment, I felt relief. I didn’t want to be lying to Jukhara and Ahobri; now I could come clean and tell them the truth, or at least some of it. </p><p>The last part of the conversation, Jukhara hearing rumors there was a second Sith, made me nervous.</p><p>I had been to Snoke’s palace multiple times, a First Order council meeting, and all the stuff happening at Ymir’s estate. I was a known entity. </p><p>My thoughts returned to Vin. He kept his ear to the ground, and lived right next to Leia’s home base with the Resistance. He could really fuck things up for me if he heard the rumors and talked to someone about it. </p><p>I had avoided reaching out to him, prefering to think that no news was good news. Now, I didn’t think it was such a good idea. I decided to test the waters.</p><p>I typed up a quick note: [On a new job. Need more supplies. Call me back to coordinate.]</p><p>Hopefully I could settle my doubts when I left hyperspace. </p><p>I cranked my music back up and set the coordinates for a fuel depot a few systems over from Takodana. I pushed the lever forward and the stars stretched into swirls of blue. </p><p>Nothing but open skies ahead of me.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And Siobhan has set off to infiltrate the criminal networks of the Galaxy. We’ll see what happens now that her old boss knows that she’s gone from smuggler to Sith Acolyte…</p><p>This is going to be the final book in the series! I got everything mapped out during the break and we have some big twists and turns coming your way. </p><p>I’m also working on<a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/andromeda-rising-897"> Tumblr</a> posts. I just saw Birds of Prey (fucking loved it! Go see it!) and I’m going to write a piece about the way we portray female villains. </p><p>As always, thank you for reading and I always love to hear from y’all in the comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Takodana</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Siobhan is returning to the criminal underground on a mission to clear out smugglers and cartels from the First Order’s hyperspace lanes. </p>
<p>Her old boss, Jukhara, knows that her mystery boyfriend is Kylo Ren, and that Siobhan is the rumored new Sith in the Galaxy. An old friend with connections to the Resistance might have figured out she’s working for the First Order.</p>
<p>We’ll see Siobhan walk the razor’s edge, returning to her old smuggling crews, while trying to keep her new identity a secret.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>I</b>
</p>
<p>I needed to make a stop before Takodana. After twelve hours in hyperspace, Rosie was getting low on fuel. There were also a few more supplies I wanted so I could make the transition from Sith operative to smuggler. </p>
<p>There was a good fuel depot on Barkhesh. I planned to scrounge up some contraband to make it look like I was still in the game. </p>
<p>I already knew that it was going to be a long day. There was no guarantee that I would be able to make a connection with the Smuggler’s Alliance on Takodana. If I couldn’t find a crew there, I’d be hopping over to Rishii. I’d have to keep on my toes and stay open to any opportunity. </p>
<p>The depot was a busy, sprawling place. I brought Rosie down to an open spot on the concrete pad. </p>
<p>As soon as I touched down, a wheeled mechanic droid zipped up, pulling a fuel hose from a metal pipe embedded in the concrete. </p>
<p>I exited my ship with my blaster on my thigh, and the kit bag with thousands of credits in hand. </p>
<p>The midday sun was intense, and I squinted in the light. Waves of heat wafted up from the concrete pad. There were more than a hundred other ships parked on the lot. Mechanics and droids worked on ships that needed repairs. Crewmates sat in the shade of wings and landing gear, playing card games and drinking. People roamed around, trading gossip and news. </p>
<p>I approached the squat mechanic droid and pulled some credits from the pouch on my belt. My blaster was strapped to my thigh, but I was starting to feel naked without my lightsabers. They were stashed away in the ceiling of my water closet, sealed in their locked canisters. </p>
<p>The droid had the fuel hose ready to go in its metal arm. It began to launch into its programmed spiel - offering to detail my ship for fifty credits, repair services started with a one hundred credit deposit. </p>
<p>I cut the droid off. </p>
<p>“Just need fuel. Fill up the tank,” I said handing over the credits. </p>
<p>I pointed out the latch for the fuel tank, locked my ship and took a slow tour through the lot. </p>
<p>My goal was to establish contact with the leadership of the Smuggler’s Alliance and get them to stop their operations in the sectors First Order ships were using. ‘Alliance people could be anywhere. If I stumbled across an outfit here, I wouldn’t need to make the trip to Takodana. </p>
<p>A weight lifted from my shoulders as I strolled across the wide lot. This was my place, these were my people. </p>
<p>I had spent a week on a frozen planet, surrounded by rigid First Order leadership, each moment of my day dictated by Ymir and military protocols. </p>
<p>As I strode past ships, men whistled and cat-called. Today, I was fine with the attention; I was here to deal, I wanted to be noticed. I continued walking with a swagger in my step and a smirk playing across my lips. </p>
<p>After completing a lap of the yard, I hadn’t found any ‘Alliance crews. </p>
<p>The fuel depot had a large round building in the center that functioned as a bar and general store. </p>
<p>On my way inside, I spotted what I was looking for: A group of oldtimers were sitting in the shade of the roof. They were playing a card game, lounging on top of a couple supply crates and battered chairs. </p>
<p>These would be syndicate men, grizzled and semi-retired. They were drinking, arguing and bullshitting during their hands, but they would know everything that was happening in the yard. </p>
<p>I walked past them and noticed a few eyes flicker my way before I disappeared into the building. </p>
<p>The room was loud, smoky, and blessedly air-conditioned. </p>
<p>I had a drink at the bar, striking up idle conversation with the paunchy Kitonak next to me. He was small time, running Spice in this star system. He didn’t have any useful information.</p>
<p>Next, I stocked up on food. I grabbed snacks, packaged meals, caffeine, and beer from the store. </p>
<p>The last thing I did was exchange currency. They had a secure room in the back where a stunted Yarkora turned my stash of credits into flan, wuipiupi, druggats, and precious metal chips. </p>
<p>Now I needed to get moving. Anyone who saw me using the currency exchange knew that I had money, which could make me a target - a small human woman coming in alone on her ragged little ship. </p>
<p>I left the depot with money and food sealed away in my kit bag. </p>
<p>I stopped by the group of oldtimers; there was a Kubaz, making irritated squawks and chirps; a fat Gran, belly hanging over his lap, missing one of his three eye stalks; a fierce looking Klatooinian with tattoos tracing along his large forearms; and a human male with a long, wiry beard, stained around the mouth, and a roll of t’bac between his fingers. </p>
<p>“Coin for a smoke?” I asked him, reaching into my pocket.</p>
<p>The human looked up and handed me a loosie from his jacket. I passed the coin into his palm. He turned back to the game without a word. </p>
<p>I held the roll of t’bac between my fingers for a moment, “Does it take another coin for a girl to get a light?” I said, being pushy. </p>
<p>The Gran stepped in, “Aw Gaz, whatcher’ givin’ her a hard time for? Have any ladies come by tah say hello to us?”</p>
<p>He leaned towards me and lit my smoke with the end of his, “I’m Carl.”</p>
<p>“Thanks, I’m Mara,” I replied, pulling t’bac into my lungs. </p>
<p>I leaned against the wall, taking a few drags. I scanned the lot, watching the sea of ships and activity. The men continued their card game. </p>
<p>“Say, I’m doing a little buying,” I said, turning towards the group of men, looking towards the Gran, “I’m in the market for some new blasters. Y’all know anyone selling?”</p>
<p>Carl was smiling and he pointed to a sporty ship with a few men doing maintenance, “Them boys in Aldo’s crew should be able tah help. Tell ‘em I sent yah over.”</p>
<p>“Thanks,” I said with an easy grin, and flipped two gold coins to Carl. He caught them deftly and went right back into the card game. </p>
<p>I strolled over to the smuggling freighter, kit bag in hand, a sway in my hips. </p>
<p>There were four Weequay sprawled out on crates, drinking in the shade beneath their ship. They would be the muscle. The biggest one in the group was a Mohandai, a crest of fleshy purple spikes draped over the left side of his face. </p>
<p>He glanced my way as I approached. </p>
<p>“I’m looking for Aldo,” I said, making my posture open and friendly. </p>
<p>“Who’re you?” the Mohandai growled. </p>
<p>“Mara,” I answered, “Carl sent me your way.”</p>
<p>The Mohandai looked me up and down, hands planted on this well-muscled thighs, then grunted and stood up. </p>
<p>“What’s your business?” he asked. </p>
<p>“I’m putting together a weapons payload. I’m looking for blasters without barcodes, New Republic models if you got ‘em.”</p>
<p>The Mohandai considered me for a moment, before nodding his big snout towards the open cargo bay, “I’m Aldo. Follow me.”</p>
<p>It was a dingy set-up. The walls and floors were stained and scuffed. The lighting was dim - several panels were flickering. </p>
<p>There were a few more men in the cargo bay, doing speeder maintenance. </p>
<p>“Our last shipment came from Commenor,” Aldo said, “What’re you looking to spend?”</p>
<p>“That depends on what you have and if they all work,” I said with a small smile, arms crossing over my chest. </p>
<p>Aldo turned to a young Bothan taking apart an engine, “Sisko, get that new shipment out,” he ordered. </p>
<p>The Bothan stopped what he was doing and went to the opposite wall, unlocking the panel and calling a mechanic droid over to lift it from a collection of weapons crates hidden away in the ship. </p>
<p>Sisko opened the lid and I walked over with Aldo behind me. I kept my right hand near my blaster. </p>
<p>This situation could take a turn. I was alone on their ship. They knew I had money. I didn’t get the sense that Carl was sending me over to get robbed, but it was a possibility. </p>
<p>I examined the blasters in the crate. They were what I had asked for, but pretty low quality. New Republic weapons had good turnover value, good to have on hand if you needed liquid cash. </p>
<p>“Who was responsible for sanding off the serial numbers?” I asked, running my thumb against the rough metal. </p>
<p>“Came that way,” Aldo said, stonewalling. </p>
<p>These men were not professionals. They were at the bottom of whatever group Carl was a part of, young men wanting to make rank, but not there yet. </p>
<p>I took my time looking through the weapons, checking their power cells and examining them for damage. </p>
<p>“I’ll pay one hundred for the crate,” I said. </p>
<p>It was an offensively low price. </p>
<p>“Baanthashit. The going rate is one eighty five,” Aldo countered. </p>
<p>“I’d pay one seventy if they were brand new. I’m going to need to do my own maintenance on them before I put them on market. I can swing one fifteen.”</p>
<p>Aldo was getting irritated, “You come onto our ship and try to lowball us. The crate is one seventy.”</p>
<p>I gave him a sweet smile, “I’ll take these off your hands for one fifty, and then you’ll have the cargo space for something that isn’t junk.”</p>
<p>Aldo saw that I wasn’t going to budge, “Fine,” he grumbled. </p>
<p>We shook on it and I passed him the credits from the pouch on my belt. </p>
<p>“I can’t carry this to my ship on my own,” I said looking down at the crate, “Can you help me?” I said to the young Bothan. </p>
<p>The Weequay looked like they would happily try to kick my ass, the Bothan didn’t look like he had seen a lot of fights. </p>
<p>“Yeah, you can go help the girl,” Aldo said. </p>
<p>Sisko closed the lid and picked up the crate.</p>
<p>We walked out into the sun and I led the way over to Rosie. </p>
<p>“So who’re y’all affiliated with?” I asked. </p>
<p>“Kanjiklub,” the Bothan answered, sucking in a breath as he carried the heavy crate.</p>
<p>“Huh, is that who owns the Depot then?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, we’re between jobs right now.”</p>
<p>What a sweetheart. I might be able to get some helpful information from him.</p>
<p>“Know if the Smuggler’s Alliance has business out here?” I asked. </p>
<p>“Nah, don’t think they get out this far. Why do you want to know?”</p>
<p>We had almost made it to Rosie. It was blasted hot out here, sweat already sticking my hair to my temples. </p>
<p>“I did some freelancing with them a while back and wanted to join up,” I answered casually. </p>
<p>Rosie was sitting right where I left her. I unlocked her and opened the ramp to the cargo bay. </p>
<p>“Kanjiklub runs the sector. So if you’re looking for a crew, we’re the best bet,” Sisko said, following me inside my ship. </p>
<p>He set the crate down and I tossed him twenty credits. I closed the ramp behind him. </p>
<p>With all my business done, I returned to the cockpit and left Barkhesh, setting my hyperspace coordinates for Takodana. </p>
<p>
  <b>II</b>
</p>
<p>It was a five hour trip to Takodana. </p>
<p>I used the time in hyperspace to finish organizing my things. </p>
<p>I sealed the crate of blasters into the floorboards of the cargo bay, cracked open a beer, and stowed my food in the cramped kitchen cabinets. </p>
<p>My kit bag with new currency went into the ceiling tiles of my water closet. </p>
<p> When I was done with all that, I returned to the cockpit and checked my comms. </p>
<p>Vin hadn’t gotten back to me. Now I was really feeling nervous. </p>
<p>It had only been a day, but he was usually quick to respond on business. </p>
<p>There was nothing I could do about it though. </p>
<p>Jukhara had put everything together. She found out that I had brought Kylo Ren with me, then of course she looked deeper. She knew that I was the First Order’s new Sith. </p>
<p>My stomach churned. </p>
<p>Jukhara knew how to keep a secret, but this wasn’t information on a politician’s sex life or drama in the Hutt family. This was a big deal, and she wanted me to be the one to tell Ahobri. </p>
<p>I had completely botched my story with her. I wanted to come in flashing money around, looking strong and rich. When she asked me what I was doing, I had broken down in tears, horrified by what I had done on my last mission. </p>
<p>And here I was, out on another mission for the First Order, helping them subdue the citizens of the Galaxy. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I was grateful that it was a short trip to Takodana - not enough time to stew in my thoughts.<br/>
I made one last check of my ship, and made sure she was set on her New Republic signatures before I left hyperspace. </p>
<p>Rosie emerged some ways off from Takodana. There was a lot of traffic around the planet. </p>
<p>I checked my comms again to see if Vin had contacted me and saw nothing. </p>
<p>So that’s how it was going to be. </p>
<p>I turned up my music and sent a line to Ymir on my secure channel: [Arrived on Takodana. Will update you when I establish contact with Smugglers Alliance.]</p>
<p>Takodana was a sight for sore eyes. It was green and lush, just like my home planet. The surface was covered in dense forests and freshwater lakes. It was a life-giving place. </p>
<p>As I soared in, I extended my awareness, <i>feeling</i> for the planet. </p>
<p>I kept my comms open too, listening to the chatter of pilots, scanning to see if I heard any familiar voices or recognized any signatures. I didn’t hear anyone I knew. </p>
<p>Many ships were coming and going from Maz’s place and it took some time to land. There was a large lot on the western side of the house, and I brought Rosie down near the outskirts. </p>
<p>I exited my ship, joining the throngs of people moving to and from. Dressed in my plain brown poncho, covering the blaster on my thigh, I was just another face in the crowd. </p>
<p>I had never been one of the regulars at Maz Kanata’s house - still, the place had always felt like home to me. She maintained a neutral zone through her strong personality and iron will. There were only two rules: no politics, and no war. </p>
<p>Rival gangs had to suck it up and share space. Maz gave room and board to smugglers and gamblers down on their luck. She also housed artists and creators of all stripes. </p>
<p>The entrance was lined with well-worn prayer flags, I stepped into the mid-day chaos. All kinds of species were milling around. I scanned the crowds for anyone I knew. I extended my awareness into the space and was surprised to feel a thrum of the Force; it was a soft, bright kind of energy, nothing that I could sink my teeth into, but it was there. </p>
<p>I made my way to the bar and took a seat. On the far end, a droid was wiping down glasses with a cloth. I tried to get its attention, but it just kept cleaning glasses. The people next to me all had drinks they were nursing. Someone had to be taking care of the bar. </p>
<p>After another minute of waiting, I leaned over the counter and waved at the droid, who continued cleaning. </p>
<p>Someone tugged on my poncho, next to my elbow. I looked down. </p>
<p>“That droid is broken. What’re you having, dear?”</p>
<p>I found myself looking down at a tiny, orange-skinned woman with giant, convex spectacles resting over her eyes. It was Maz. </p>
<p>There was a warm, enveloping energy to her - a spark of the Force, a spark of the Light. I struggled not to look surprised. </p>
<p>“Oh, uh, a beer, thanks,” I heard myself say. </p>
<p>Maz had a tray of empty cups balanced on her hand. She leapt nimbly onto the counter, set the tray down, then slid behind the bar and pulled a beer from the tap. </p>
<p>I glanced over at the droid, still dutifully wiping down glasses in the far corner. </p>
<p>“It’s been doing that for a week. You don’t know how to fix droids, do you?” Maz said, sliding the beer over. </p>
<p>I shook my head and Maz shrugged. For a moment I met her eyes, and I was so glad my aura was cloaked. Hers was like a beacon, a gentle fire in the dark. </p>
<p>I put a coin on the counter and left the bar with my drink in hand, feeling dazed. </p>
<p>There had always been something special about this place. I never knew how to describe it. Now I understood why. </p>
<p>I began moving down hallways, taking a moment to collect myself and reassess. </p>
<p>Maz wasn’t a Jedi. She was just some old Rebel. I was a trained Sith, but if she sensed me, if anything happened here, I would be compromised worse than I already was with Jukhara. </p>
<p>My aura was cloaked. Ymir, Snoke, Ren, none of them could feel me, even when they tried. </p>
<p>It would have to be enough. I wasn’t going to run at the first hiccup in my plan. </p>
<p>I began to move through the building, cautiously <i>reaching</i> through the space. The sooner I made a connection with the Smuggler’s Alliance, the sooner I could leave. </p>
<p>I followed my feet through the old stone hallways, taking staircases down towards the lower floors. </p>
<p>My beer glass was empty, and I set it in an alcove in the wall. It was already stuffed with grimy cups, plates with dried food, and t’bac stubs. </p>
<p>Everything had become so different; even the familiar parts of my life had become strange. When I had come here last I was just another drunk smuggler, throwing my money away on gambling and alcohol. </p>
<p>The Light. </p>
<p>I had never felt it before, not really. It was so different from Ymir and Ren’s energy. Ymir was magnetic, a stable pull to him. Ren was like fire, rising and ebbing, consuming. </p>
<p>Maz’s energy was radiant, open and pure. </p>
<p>I wondered how I would feel to her. </p>
<p>There was another sensation at the edge of my awareness. </p>
<p>I had wandered deep into the house. No one was down here, the halls were empty, still I felt a <i>pull</i>. It was a crystalline sound chiming out, calling to me. </p>
<p>I found myself in a hallway lined with closed doors. I moved carefully towards the energy, on guard. It was too similar to Korriban. I knew to be cautious when I felt the Force imprinted in a space. </p>
<p>Still, I walked towards the closed door where the sensation was the strongest. Something important was inside that room. The energy was familiar, but I couldn’t place it. </p>
<p>The door was locked. I wanted to find out what was calling out to me. I rested my palm on the door and began to <i>push</i> at the lock, urging it to open. </p>
<p>“What are you doing?” came a gruff voice from the far end of the hall. </p>
<p>I had been so lost in the moment, I hadn’t felt anyone approach. </p>
<p>I slumped forward, hunching over like I was drunk. I turned, looking blearily at the large Gamorrean standing at the bottom of the stairs. </p>
<p>“Y’all got a latrine?” I groaned, curling forward like I had to puke. </p>
<p>This couldn’t turn into a fight. I wasn’t going to push it. My goal was the Smuggler’s Alliance, not tracking down a source of Force energy in Maz’s house. </p>
<p>The Gamorrean folded his thick arms, “You’re not allowed down here. If you throw up on anything I’m going to make you clean it up with your shirt.”</p>
<p>“S’fine,” I grumbled, staggering back from the door, wiping at my face. </p>
<p>I weaved my way towards the Gamorrean and the stairs. He watched my performance with disgust and let me pass him. I held out a hand to the wall as I walked up the stairs. </p>
<p>The Gamorrean followed me up, and then down half of a hallway, until he decided I was just a run-of-the-mill drunk and wasn’t going to cause any more problems. </p>
<p>I rounded the corner before straightening up, joining the populated upper levels of the house. </p>
<p>This was too much. I needed to get out of here. </p>
<p>I made an agreement with myself to take one full lap around the house and be on my way if I couldn’t find anything. There were other bars and waystations for smugglers. I could always go to Riishi. </p>
<p>I moved through one level, then another. I stepped out onto a balcony near the back of the building. </p>
<p>Someone was singing, and I thought I recognized the voice - the mournful folksy twang, “Yeah, people keep on drifting… On the wind and on the wing… My lover caught a breeze one day and I ain’t seen her since…”</p>
<p>The singer was a Dug wearing a ragged jumpsuit with the arms torn off. He was strumming an instrument covered in stickers and drawings - a string of beads dangled from the end of the fretboard. </p>
<p>A smile was pulling at my mouth as I headed over. </p>
<p>I knew I would find a familiar face here. The Dug was surrounded by a small group of people listening to him sing. He had a case open in front of him for tips and a beer at his side. </p>
<p>He spotted me on the way over. He ended the song with a drawn-out series of chords and a theatrical wail about the lost love he’d never see again. </p>
<p>I walked over to him when he was done. </p>
<p>“Dax, how long has it been?” I said with a warm smile and a hand on my hip. </p>
<p>The Dug stood up and hopped off the bench to give me a hug. I paid attention to his dextrous feet as he reached around me - it was not beyond him to pick my pockets or grab my ass. </p>
<p>Thankfully, he didn’t try either. </p>
<p>“Siobhan, where have you been hiding?” he said with a grin across his snout. </p>
<p>“Same old, same old,” I said as we parted, “Making deals, getting shot at.”</p>
<p>I should not have felt this relieved to see Dax again. He was a slippery motherfucker. I had seen him bilk marks and crewmates out of the last credits in their pockets. He couldn’t be in a crew without making at least one enemy, no matter how short the job was. </p>
<p>If I had a choice, Dax would be my last pick, but here I was. He could help make the connection I needed, if he was still part of the Smuggler’s Alliance. </p>
<p>“It’s good to see you,” he said, picking up his instrument again. </p>
<p>“Let’s grab a drink. I’ll buy. We can catch up for a minute,” I said. </p>
<p>“Fine by me,” Dax said, draining his beer in one gulp. </p>
<p>He swung the instrument around his back and closed the instrument case, sealing a collection of coins and gambling chips inside. </p>
<p>We returned to the main bar, and I hoped I wasn’t tempting fate by spending more time near Maz. </p>
<p>“When did you get into town?” Dax asked, twirling one of the fleshy whiskers on the side of his snout. </p>
<p>“Just got in,” I said, “How about you?”</p>
<p>“A few days, cooling my heels between jobs,” Dax said casually. </p>
<p>Dax was already lying to me. That was not a good sign. </p>
<p>This place was a waystation. If he had been here for a few days and was busking for cash it meant he was hurting. Something had gone wrong for him. </p>
<p>Maz was still buzzing around the room, but now there was a large, well-muscled Togruta woman behind the bar taking orders. The droid was still hard at work, polishing the same rows of glasses on the far end. </p>
<p>I leaned on the bar and Dax lifted himself onto a stool. </p>
<p>“What’ll it be hon’?” the Togruta woman asked, making eye contact, a flirty glint in her eye. </p>
<p>“I’ll have a shot and a beer, and whatever he’s having,” I said. </p>
<p>Dax got a shot and some kind of fancy blue drink. Of course he wasn’t going to just order a beer if it was my tab. </p>
<p>I paid for the drinks. We downed our shots and I left a tip for the bartender. </p>
<p>Not wanting to interact with Maz more than I had to, I steered Dax over to a table in a far corner of the room. We were in between a group of Ishi Tib and another table with the unusual combination of several Wookies, a Devaronian, and a couple of Bith.  </p>
<p>Maz felt like a comet as she moved through the room, serving food and drink and making conversation. Her energy was so bright, it was almost intoxicating. </p>
<p>“So how’s the Resistance treating you?” Dax asked, with a meaningful glance at my face. </p>
<p>“Oh, fuckin’ horrible. I’m taking a break for a little while,” I replied easily, taking a long pull of beer, “So you’re just coming off a job?”</p>
<p>I needed to get to the bottom of Dax’s story. I did not expect him to lead with the truth. </p>
<p>“Yeah, just taking a breather,” he replied, taking out half his drink. </p>
<p>Great. </p>
<p>I did not want to get bogged down in this half-assed conversation. </p>
<p>“Are you still working with Arjun’s crew?” I asked. </p>
<p>Arjun was one of the leaders of the Smuggler’s Alliance. When I worked for Cobalt Arc, I was part of Tynne’s crew. We had pulled off a couple of larger heists together, combining forces and splitting the money. </p>
<p>I was showing my cards to Dax, but it was worth it. If he wasn’t with the ‘Alliance anymore, we’d share a little small talk, maybe another drink, then I’d be on my way. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m still part of the ‘Alliance if that’s what you’re asking,” Dax said, with a disdainful sip of his drink, “What’s it to you?”</p>
<p>Dax was always hustling, so he was quick to sniff out another person’s game. </p>
<p>“I’m on a job myself. I have some information that could be very useful to Arjun. I’m looking for an introduction,” I said. </p>
<p>This sketchy Dug was not my ideal ambassador, but he was better than nothing. </p>
<p>“I can do that,” Dax replied, “Of course, there’ll be a finder’s fee.”</p>
<p>He picked up his glass with a foot and downed the remaining blue liquid, wiping at his snout afterward. </p>
<p>“Okay,” I said, “I was thinking fifty credits, and I have some New Republic blasters, no barcodes.”</p>
<p>Dax frowned in thought, nostrils flaring, “I’ll take a look at the blasters and decide if that’s fair.”</p>
<p>“Sure,” I replied, tilting the rest of my drink back, “Let’s go.”</p>
<p>Dax looked at me in surprise. </p>
<p>This was not my usual mode of operating; on the best days, I was a lazy drunk; I was never the person organized and ready to leave. </p>
<p>“I have more beer in my ship. C’mon,” I said standing from the table. </p>
<p>“You have a ship?” Dax said with a playful grin, sliding out of his seat. </p>
<p>I was also notorious for being broke. </p>
<p>He packed up his instrument in the case and slid it around his chest. I noticed that he did have a blaster tucked into the back of his pants. </p>
<p>“Work’s been treating me all right,” I said. </p>
<p>We left the bar and exited Maz’s house. The prayer flags above the entrance fluttered in the breeze and cast dim shadows across the pavilion. </p>
<p>We made our way through the lot and arrived at Rosie. </p>
<p>“I was surprised to hear you had a ship of your own. This makes more sense,” Dax said, eyeing my scrappy red cruiser. </p>
<p>“Her name is Rosie,” I said with a grin, unlocking the back hatch.</p>
<p>We walked up the entrance ramp. </p>
<p>“Still, Siobhan Zhang with a ship of her own. I never thought I’d see the day,” Dax said with a toothy grin, looking around my cargo bay. </p>
<p>“It’s all that military living,” I said, heading over to the control panel to unlock the floorboards, “The Resistance whipped me into shape.”</p>
<p>I made sure to stand firmly in front of the console so Dax couldn’t watch me punching in the code. </p>
<p>After I unlocked the floorboards, I opened the panel and had Dax help me lift the munitions crate. </p>
<p>He looked through the blasters, feeling where the barcodes had been removed and checking the power cells. </p>
<p>“This will work,” he said, “Fifty credits and the blasters for an introduction.”</p>
<p>“After you make the introduction,” I said, on alert for any of his tricks, “When you get to your ship, you can send along the coordinates. I’ll give you the credits when we arrive, and the blasters after the introduction.”</p>
<p>Dax set the blaster he was holding onto back inside the crate, not saying a word. </p>
<p>Oh, he was definitely up to something. </p>
<p>“I don’t have a ship,” he mumbled. </p>
<p>“What?” I said sharply, closing the lid on the crate. </p>
<p>“I don’t have a ship anymore,” Dax said raising his voice. His neck sagged between his narrow shoulder blades. </p>
<p>“Motherfucker, do you need a ride?” I asked unable to stop my smile. My hands were planted on my hips. </p>
<p>Dax glanced up at me, a shamed expression on his face, “Yes, I do.”</p>
<p>I folded my arms over my chest, glad to have the upper hand. </p>
<p>“Then how about this, Dax. Seeing as how you don’t have transportation, I’ll give you a ride to Arjun, and I’ll work out how many credits I’m willing to give you, based on the quality of the introduction I get.”</p>
<p>Dax was frowning, his snout twitching like he wanted to argue or bargain with me, but he didn’t have any leverage. </p>
<p>I drummed my fingers on my arm, “That’s the offer. I don’t have all day.”</p>
<p>Dax said he had been here for days, which meant that he didn’t have easy options for leaving. If he didn’t leave with me, it might be several more days until he found another person willing to fly him. We were already on my ship and I was still offering to give him some money. </p>
<p>It was going to be less than fifty credits now, but it was better than busking for change. </p>
<p>“Okay, that works for me,” Dax said. </p>
<p>We shook on it. </p>
<p>“I’m ready. Is there anything you still need from the house?” I said. </p>
<p>“Nope.” Dax’s voice was firm, not inviting anymore conversation. </p>
<p>We loaded the crate of weapons into the floorboards. </p>
<p>This might be a mistake, but I felt confident I could manage Dax’s worst qualities for a few hours. </p>
<p>I pulled two beers from the cooling cabinet and tossed one to him. He caught it easily with a foot, popping open the lid with one toe. </p>
<p>We walked up to the cockpit and Dax saw my patched seats, the snacks wedged into the console, and the empty beer cans that I had crushed and left on the floor. </p>
<p>It had been years since we last saw each other, but it looked like I wasn’t that different after all. </p>
<p>Dax put his instrument case behind the copilot’s seat and dropped himself into the chair. </p>
<p>I turned on my music and warmed up the engines. </p>
<p>“So what exactly is your business with Arjun?” Dax asked. </p>
<p>“None of your business,” I replied easily, taking us up through atmosphere. </p>
<p>I was happy to be putting distance between myself and Maz. That could have been a close call. If Maz had found out that I was a Sith visiting her home, I might have walked into a huge fight armed only with my blaster. </p>
<p>“So what’s the coordinates to Arjun’s ship?” I asked, turning to Dax. </p>
<p>I did not like his expression. The corner of his mouth was turning down and his eyes were darting from side to side. </p>
<p>“I need to make a stop before we meet up with Arjun…” he began. </p>
<p>My anger was rising and I didn’t try to hide it. </p>
<p>“Dax, you are not my only connection to Arjun,” I said with a tightening jaw, “If you’re fucking with me I will not hesitate to kick you out.”</p>
<p>The Dug was shrinking into the copilot’s chair, but he didn’t back down. </p>
<p>“It’s just one stop,” he pleaded, “I lost my ship right in the middle of a job. All I need to do is pick up a payload. It’s a system over. Already paid for. I promise.”</p>
<p>I hated his pathetic wheedling act. </p>
<p>“What’s the payload?” I asked, ready to pick apart Dax’s story before he roped me into any more baanthashit. </p>
<p>I briefly considered <i>reaching</i> into his mind. It would be so much easier than talking to him, but he would know I was doing something to him. </p>
<p>“It’s an artifact, from a museum. Someone is willing to pay Arjun a lot of money for it. I was supposed to do the pickup… then I lost my ship…”</p>
<p>I held up a hand. </p>
<p>“Call the dealer, right now,” I said. </p>
<p>Dax blinked. </p>
<p>“I’m not going on a fucking wild goose chase for your job. Call the dealer.”</p>
<p>“Oh… okay…” Dax said. </p>
<p>I set up my comms for him, using my smuggling transmissions. </p>
<p>Dax made the call, leaning over my shitty console, squinting at the small screen. I watched his toes curling with discomfort. </p>
<p>A bored-looking Ithorian answered. </p>
<p>“Uh, this is Dax Febri from the Nebulon Flyers,” he began nervously. </p>
<p>“You’re late,” the Ithorian man said in a cold voice. </p>
<p>“Yeah, there was some trouble with my ship… but I’m on my way now. I can be there in a few hours,” Dax said, scratching one of his long ears with a hand. </p>
<p>I was staring daggers at Dax as he fumbled his way through the call. What an embarrassment. I hoped I wasn’t shooting myself in the foot, trying to get him to introduce me to Arjun. </p>
<p>“Is the shipment still there?” Dax asked. </p>
<p>“Yes,” the Ithorian answered in a dull posh tone, “Our displeasure with the delivery process has been communicated to Arjun.”</p>
<p>Dax was visibly anxious, moving on to wringing his hands, “We can be there in three hours.”</p>
<p>“I’ll continue to wait,” the Ithorian said and shut off the line. </p>
<p>Dax slumped in the seat. I was not done with him. </p>
<p>“You’re calling Arjun now, and you’re going to tell him that I’m helping you.”</p>
<p>He knew he didn’t have any other options. With a sigh, Dax leaned forward and typed in Arjun’s line. </p>
<p>We were routed through a couple of underlings before we made it to him. </p>
<p>Arjun’s face swam into view on the console screen. He was a Trandoshan, and unusually attractive for his species. He was covered in shimmering green scales. There was something regal in the shape of his snout and the way he looked down it towards other people, and right now he was aiming his disdain at his wayward crew member. </p>
<p>“Where the fuck have you been, Dax?” he snarled, sharp teeth flashing</p>
<p>“So… I uh… lost my ship at Maz’s…” Dax began nervously, “I didn’t have any money… so I didn’t have a good way to call you...but I came across Siobhan Zhang, you know, from Cobalt Arc. We’re picking the payload up…”</p>
<p>“Is Zhang there?” Arjun asked, interrupting Dax’s story. </p>
<p>“I’m here,” I answered, leaning into view. </p>
<p>“Why are you getting caught up with Dax?” Arjun asked with a skeptical arch to his scaly brow. </p>
<p>“I was hoping to do some business with you,” I said with breezily, “We got a hold of the dealer, they still have your shipment.”</p>
<p>Arjun eyed the two of us, considering the proposal, “I’ll take a favor from you,” he said, “I don’t have anyone else I can send out for this delivery. It was supposed to be simple, which is why I gave it to Dax,” he added pointedly. </p>
<p>He looked Dax’s way, “Tell Strilath that I’ll be sending along a Ou’tranoi vase in the next few days as an apology. This isn’t a relationship we can afford to fuck up, but it looks like you’ve done your best.”</p>
<p>Arjun turned his attention to me, “Zhang, if you bring me the payload all in one piece, I’ll listen to whatever business you have in mind.”</p>
<p>“We’ll be at your ship in a few hours,” I said. </p>
<p>He ended the call. </p>
<p>I was now completely off the hook for paying Dax. This was turning around nicely. </p>
<p>Dax gave me the coordinates for the pick up and I took us into hyperspace. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>We had a few hours of travel, dipping into the borders of the Mid-Rim to Eufornis Major. </p>
<p>I gave Dax more beer, knowing that he would be easier to deal with if he kept riding his buzz. </p>
<p>He pulled his instrument out of the case and began to strum, “Mind if I play some songs?” </p>
<p>“Be my guest,” I said. </p>
<p>Dax might not have many redeeming qualities, but he was a damn good musician. He strummed and sang, leaning into the music. All of his songs were soulful folk tunes, most of them about loss - lost loves, lost fortunes, lost time. </p>
<p>I listened, feet propped on the dash, the hood of my poncho pulled up over my face. </p>
<p>I had been traveling for at least twenty hours and I needed some time to doze. If I was in the same room with Dax playing music, it seemed like the least risky option for catching some sleep. </p>
<p>Eventually he took a break, and I heard him putting his instrument back in its case. </p>
<p>“So what happened with your ship?” I asked, pushing my hood back, making sure he knew I was still awake. </p>
<p>Dax sighed, twirling one of the fleshy whiskers on his snout, “I was playing cards at Maz’s and I was spotted by some people I owed money to…”</p>
<p>Classic. </p>
<p>“They dragged me outside, took all the credits I had, then flew off in my ship. I was bumming around that house for almost two days.”</p>
<p>“That’s rough,” I said sympathetically. </p>
<p>Dax thought I was encouraging him, “Now Arjun is going to have me working for no pay… he’s probably going to put me in the brig…”</p>
<p>Even better, then I wouldn’t even have to tell Dax I didn’t plan on paying him. </p>
<p>“You should let me handle the pick-up,” I said, suddenly. </p>
<p>“They’re not expecting you,” Dax said, eyes narrowing. </p>
<p>“And they aren’t going to be excited to see you after all this. I’ll meet with them and pass along Arjun’s message.”</p>
<p>Dax looked like he was about to argue, but he knew it was useless. He hopped out of the copilot’s seat and came back with more beer. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>We arrived on the outskirts of Eufornis Major, a magnificent, planet-spanning metropolis. </p>
<p>It was slow going in the lanes of traffic headed towards the planet. </p>
<p>Dax took his instrument out and sang more songs as we waited in the sluggish lines of personal ships. </p>
<p>I made him stop playing as I contacted the dealer. </p>
<p>The bored Ithorian popped back up on the console screen. </p>
<p>“This is Zhang, I’m officially in charge of the pick-up for Arjun. Where should I meet you?” </p>
<p>The Ithorian gave me the coordinates. </p>
<p>It was nighttime when we arrived. The sky was smoggy, reflecting the light from the city below. The air was hazy with smoke from industry and vehicles. </p>
<p>Our coordinates took us to a floating spindle-shaped building, sitting several hundred meters above the tallest skyscrapers. </p>
<p>I took Rosie down to a protruding landing pad. The doors at the far end opened and the Ithorian stepped through with two security droids at his side, a black crate between them. </p>
<p>I left the engines idling then looked over to Dax.  </p>
<p>“I’m not going to let you stay on my ship unsupervised. You’ll walk down the end of the cargo ramp, then stay there until the deal is done. You aren’t to set foot on my ship until I’m back inside.”</p>
<p>My tone left no room for argument. </p>
<p>The Dug could not be trusted. At worst, he might try to hijack my ship. I did not want to deal with anymore problems today. </p>
<p>Dax sighed heavily and slid his ass out of the seat. </p>
<p>In the cargo bay, I quickly pulled off my thigh holster and tucked my blaster into the back of my pants, well hidden underneath the poncho. </p>
<p>I lowered the ramp, and Dax walked out first, planting himself on the landing pad. </p>
<p>I came around the side of my ship, hands visible and shoulders back. The wind pulled at my hair and poncho. This high up, all I could smell was smog and exhaust. </p>
<p>The Ithorian stood under the awning. He was wearing expensive-looking maroon robes. Next to him, two security droids were flanking a black crate, around my height, sitting on a floating dolly. </p>
<p>“My name is Zhang,” I announced to the Ithorian. </p>
<p>He nodded curtly, motioning for the security droids to move the crate towards my ship. </p>
<p>“Arjun sends his apologies,” I said, raising my voice to make sure he could hear me over the wind, “He’ll be sending you an Ou’tranoi vase for your troubles.”</p>
<p>The Ithorian’s eyes narrowed, “We received a counteroffer from Black Sun, when your crew member was a no-show. There was nothing stopping us from keeping Arjun’s payment and accepting their offer, but we decided to stand by our agreement.” He paused for effect, “This disappointment will affect future business dealings,” he concluded in a prim, acidic tone. </p>
<p>“I understand. Your displeasure will be communicated.”</p>
<p>Now I knew I was spending too much time with the First Order. I knew how to imitate the simpering mannerisms of their officers. </p>
<p>The droids had dropped off the cargo and brushed past me.</p>
<p>That was all. </p>
<p>The Ithorian returned to the building and I boarded Rosie. </p>
<p>Dax and I returned to the cockpit, and we left Eufornis Major, suffering through another slow journey in outbound traffic. </p>
<p>Once we were in open space, I got the hyperspace coordinates for Arjun’s ship and took us into the swirling blue lane. We were facing another five hours in hyperspace. </p>
<p>I had taken away Dax’s ability to redeem himself with Arjun. He was in a sour mood, thinking about what lay ahead. </p>
<p>I heated up food for us and we ate together at the small table in my kitchen nook. </p>
<p>The day was catching up to me. This was the fourth leg of the journey and my body was starting to feel it. </p>
<p>Thankfully, Dax wanted to sleep after the meal and I showed him to the second quarters, the one I had hosted Ren in for my last job. Now I was hosting a drunk, surly Dug.  </p>
<p>I returned to the cockpit and took a nap in the captain’s chair, hood pulled up. </p>
<p>I woke to the ship’s alarm giving us the half-hour warning that we were leaving hyperspace. </p>
<p>With a groan, I sat up, rolling my neck and shoulders. I lifted the neck of the poncho and sniffed at myself. </p>
<p>Unsurprisingly, I had the warm, humid smell of someone who had spent over a day in their ship sitting around and drinking beer. </p>
<p>I decided to use the time to freshen up for my meeting with Arjun. </p>
<p>Tynne wouldn’t bat an eye if I showed up sweaty and exhausted, wearing the clothes I had slept in, but appearances mattered for this deal. I was going to tell Arjun I could offer him hundreds of thousands of credits; he would not believe me if I showed up looking like shit. </p>
<p>When I stepped out of the cockpit, I heard Dax angrily strumming and singing in the cargo bay. He sounded drunk, but at least I knew exactly where he was and what he was doing. </p>
<p>It was time to put my supplies together. I pulled the kit bag and my tablet down from the hiding place in the ceiling tiles. </p>
<p>Afterwards I took a quick shower, scrubbing myself down, letting the steam smooth my hair out. </p>
<p>I changed into a better outfit: trim black pants, a simple white shirt, and my olive jacket with the fur collar. I took the time to put on some make-up, lining my eyes in black and putting a shade of red on my lips. </p>
<p>When I was done, I had just enough time to fix myself caffeine before we left hyperspace. </p>
<p>Dax was in full form in the cargo bay. </p>
<p>In an act of rebellion, he had decided to drink the rest of my beer, leaving the cans scattered across the floor. He must have figured out that he wasn’t getting any money from me. Arjun was going to have him doing shit detail for a long time. </p>
<p>“Feeling good about yourself?” I asked, as he warbled and hollered out the chorus of a song. </p>
<p>“Imuh, feelin’ great,” he slurred and spat. </p>
<p>We only had a few more minutes until we arrived at Arjun’s ship. </p>
<p>“Clean up the fucking cans. I’m going to pilot us.”</p>
<p>Dax responded by strumming more loudly. I turned my back and walked down the hall. The music had stopped by the time I reached the cockpit. </p>
<p>
  <b>III</b>
</p>
<p>Rosie emerged from hyperspace and I found myself facing Arjun’s smuggling fleet. His primary ship was a stylishly engineered freighter. There were three hangars on each side to house ships for his main crew. </p>
<p>Arjun and Matthias were admired, and made fun of, for their expensive tastes. The two men liked to show off and impress people with their wealth. </p>
<p>Tynne hated it, openly mocking them whenever he got too drunk. </p>
<p>I checked my comms to make sure they were still set on a smuggling frequency. Then I contacted the ship. </p>
<p>“This is Siobhan Zhang on Rosie. I have Dax and the payload from Eufornis Major. I’m requesting a hangar to land in.”</p>
<p>“Siobhan… Where do I know you from?” Came a half-familiar male voice. </p>
<p>“Cobalt Arc Crew, probably,” I said, with good humor, “You got a hangar for me or not?”</p>
<p>“Oh, yeah! Take a spot in hangar six. This is Dredd.”</p>
<p>“Oh shit! Dredd?” I said with a genuine smile now, “From that job on Mimban, right?”</p>
<p>“That’s the one!” he replied. </p>
<p>I had fond memories of Dredd. Our fling just lasted the mission. We fucked in whatever space we could find, spending the rest of our time drinking and talking. We were inseparable, for a few days at least. </p>
<p>“I’ll look forward to seeing you aboard,” I said. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Hangar six was alive with activity. There were seven other ships packed into the space, most of them were undergoing serious maintenance. </p>
<p>The ship next to us had a wing fully detached, mechanics and droids were working on her with their welding tools. </p>
<p>I gathered up my kitbag and tablet and walked around to the cargo bay.</p>
<p>Dax was sitting despondently on a supply crate. He had cleaned up his mess and packed away his instrument.</p>
<p>I lowered the ramp unceremoniously, motioning for him to follow me out of the ship. </p>
<p>A long-haired man with geometric facial tattoos was waiting for us. </p>
<p>“You’re Siobhan?” he asked. </p>
<p>“Yeah. Where’s Arjun?” I asked, planting a hand on my hip.  My blaster was visible on my thigh. </p>
<p>“I’ll take you to him,” the man said. </p>
<p>He put two fingers in his mouth, whistling harshly. Two of the mechanics on a nearby ship stood up and lumbered over. </p>
<p>“Take Dax to the brig,” the man ordered. </p>
<p>“Aw, c’mon Iso. I duneed a fucking wrestler tah take me!” Dax slurred aggressively, “Where’s the fuck else’sm I gonna go?”</p>
<p>The man with the face tattoos jerked his thumb and the big mechanic pushed Dax down the hall. </p>
<p>“He drank all my beer while I took a nap,” I said with an apologetic shrug. </p>
<p>“What else is new?” the man said a corner of his mouth frowning, “I’m Iso,” he added, shaking my hand. </p>
<p>“The shipment is on board,” I said. </p>
<p>Iso ordered a couple of droids over and we took the large black crate out of my cargo bay. </p>
<p>When we had removed the cargo, I locked up Rosie and Iso led the way to Arjun. </p>
<p>It was a real relief to be back on board a proper pirating ship. </p>
<p>Arjun’s ship was nice, but it was also very lived-in. The floors were scuffed, and walls marked with wear and tear. There was the familiar smell of dozens of different species all living together in barracks and cramped rooms. </p>
<p>The place was alive with the sounds of laughter and loud conversation in many languages. </p>
<p>It was such a welcome change from the rigid First Order ships. </p>
<p>Arjun’s meeting room was near the front of the ship. He had left the doors open. There were four other people in the room. A water pipe was set up on top of the glossy black table. </p>
<p>“Siobhan, come in,” Arjun greeted, indicating a chair right across from him. </p>
<p>I took a seat, dropping the kit bag next to me. </p>
<p>His associates were sizing me up. I didn’t recognize any of them; one was a tough-looking Gand with a metal breathing mask over his bug-like face; next to Arjun was a female Trandoshan wearing gold necklaces and rings, she had weaponized bracers around her forearms; there was a male Quarren in well tailored robes; and there was a human male that looked like a bounty hunter, with his long hair and wrinkled clothes. </p>
<p>I felt their eyes and let them examine me. </p>
<p>“I want to know more about this surprise run-in with Dax,” Arjun said, a smile pulling at his snout, showing off his sharp teeth. </p>
<p>He poured us all a drink from the decanter. </p>
<p>“I was taking a breather at Maz’s and found Dax busking for coins,” I said, taking a sip of my drink. </p>
<p>There was a round of smirks and snickering from Arjun’s buddies. </p>
<p>“It looked like he was in a rough spot, so I bought him a drink and we caught up,” I continued, “Well, it comes out he doesn’t have his ship and was in the middle of fucking up this delivery job, so I decided to lend a helping hand.”</p>
<p>“Because you have a business proposal,” Arjun clarified. </p>
<p>“In good faith, I offered to help him,” I replied with a grin, crossing my ankle over my knee.</p>
<p>“How was the pick-up?” Arjun asked, not allowing me to steer the conversation. </p>
<p>“It wasn’t very friendly,” I answered, making my tone more respectful. </p>
<p>“Speak freely. I want to know what we’re dealing with.”</p>
<p>“I stepped in for Dax,” I said, “I told your contact that you’ll be sending along the vase, and I apologized on your behalf. The contact said that Black Sun had made a counter-offer, but they decided to honor their deal with you.”</p>
<p>Arjun’s expression was darkening with anger and disappointment, “Dax is such a fuck-up. I thought I could rely on him for a simple delivery job.” He paused and took a deep breath, “Is that all that happened?”</p>
<p>“That’s all. I don’t think we were there for more than five minutes.”</p>
<p>Arjun nodded, composing himself, “Well, Siobhan, you earned a moment of my time. What kind of deal is worth going through all this trouble?”</p>
<p>“It’s for your ears only,” I said, meeting his eyes, amber with a narrow vertical pupil. </p>
<p>“These are my Captains. They sit in on my business meetings,” Arjun said. </p>
<p>I shrugged, “We’ll meet one on one, or I’ll walk.”</p>
<p>The meeting didn’t have to be private, but I wanted to see where I stood with Arjun. This would help let me know how interested he was. </p>
<p>Also, with his Captains out of the room, I could use a mind trick if I really needed to. </p>
<p>Arjun’s eyes narrowed and his smile revealed more of his sharp teeth. </p>
<p>“All right. I’ll play,” he said, waving a clawed hand to dismiss the four Captains. </p>
<p>The Captains left and the metal door slid shut behind them. </p>
<p>“So what is it, Siobhan?” Arjun asked, taking a pull from the water pipe, “What kind of scheme do you want to involve me in?”</p>
<p>“One that works out well for you,” I said sweetly, taking the hose as he passed it, “I have a new employer. They have intelligence that could greatly benefit your operation.”</p>
<p>“Oh?” Arjun said, a mocking note in his voice, “And may I know who this new employer is?” he asked, already knowing what my answer would be. </p>
<p>“No,” I replied, “But I can give you a taste of the information we’re willing to provide.”</p>
<p>Arjun sat back while I pulled my tablet out from my jacket, and pulled up the first page of my file on Greth Lan-Dwu. The device was locked - he wouldn’t be able to just go scrolling through the information, but it was enough to get his attention.</p>
<p>This was a big lead. The corporation was involved in fuel manufacturing and distribution for the New Republic. </p>
<p>“My employer has information about their supply lines and security details. It’s everything you need to plan a successful heist. Probably more than one,” I said, keeping my voice breezy and casual. </p>
<p>I watched Arjun’s eyes widen for a split second before narrowing again as he skimmed the information. </p>
<p>“So what do you want?” he asked. </p>
<p>I held out my hand and he passed the tablet back to me. </p>
<p>“My employer expects your crew to stop operations in several specific sectors,” I pulled up the map on my tablet and passed it back over to Arjun.</p>
<p>He scowled, “That’s more than half our territory. Not a chance,” he said, passing the tablet back. </p>
<p>“That’s what I told my employer,” I said, “I told them we’d need to offer you something more substantial.”</p>
<p>Arjun folded his hands in front of him, letting me know he wasn’t getting carried away by my sales pitch, “And how are you going to sweeten the deal?”</p>
<p>I flashed a smile, “My employer is willing to pay you one hundred and twenty thousand credits per cycle, and give you updates on targets that would be of interest to you and your crew.”</p>
<p>“Baanthashit,” Arjun said, “You don’t know anyone with that kind of money.”</p>
<p>This was all just part of the game. I could feel Arjun’s greed, the spike of hope as he thought about what he could do with that much cash. </p>
<p>“It’s all through a secure account. I’m sure you have a droid that can confirm it,” I replied easily, “I’m able to provide half the money up-front, and you’ll have a week to clear your crews out of the sectors before you get the other half.”</p>
<p>Arjun sat across from me, eyes boring into me. </p>
<p>I waited, calm as you please. </p>
<p>Arjun activated a console screen in the table and called a droid in. </p>
<p>He was interested.</p>
<p>“The Ruby Dragons own the sectors that Greth Lan-Dwu operates in,” Arjun said, giving me a hard time.</p>
<p>“You’ll have enough money to pay them off, or employ them for the job,” I said, dismissing his complaint. </p>
<p>The door slid open and a compact, wheeled droid rolled into the room. </p>
<p>“BT 87, I have an account I need you to scan,” Arjun said. </p>
<p>I pulled the data chip out of my jacket pocket and passed it over to the droid, who took it with a small mechanical arm. It inserted the data chip and I activated it with a security code on my tablet. </p>
<p>“There’s supposed to be at least one hundred twenty thousand credits in the account,” Arjun said. </p>
<p>The droid whirred and blipped as it connected. After a second, it chirped and flashed a blue and white light in its chassis as it confirmed the account. </p>
<p>“You’re good for the money…” Arjun said, not bothering to hide his shock. </p>
<p>“Don’t sound that surprised,” I scolded playfully. </p>
<p>Arjun paused for several moments, considering the deal. I gave him silence while he thought. </p>
<p>I extended my awareness, able to feel the greed and mistrust battling each other in his mind. </p>
<p>“I’ll accept the deal,” he finally said. </p>
<p>“Good,” I said plainly, “We should talk about my fee.”</p>
<p>This was standard practice. Arjun understood that I was a go-between, not a member of whatever organization was hiring me. Frankly, it would be more suspicious if I didn’t skim anything off the top. </p>
<p>“I was waiting for that,” Arjun said with a smug expression, “My standard payoff is three percent, but this is a good deal, so I’ll give you five.”</p>
<p>He wanted to move me along. </p>
<p>“You’re the first member of the ‘Alliance, getting this deal. I want ten percent, cash,” I said, doubling down. </p>
<p>“Tynne told me about you,” Arjun said, with a deceptively open expression, “He said you were a real pain in the ass, even before you stole his payload.”</p>
<p>So my reputation preceded me. </p>
<p>“He also knew that I was a damn good smuggler,” I replied, “I’ll be making sure you get the best information my employer can provide. You’ll be swimming in money. What’s a lousy ten percent when we’re talking about hundreds of thousands of credits?”</p>
<p>“Eight percent, my final offer,” Arjun said, settling into his chair. </p>
<p>“Done,” I said with a grin. </p>
<p>We shook hands. </p>
<p>After that it was just a matter of transferring the funds through the account, half up front. Arjun called someone to bring up my fee. </p>
<p>Iso, the large man with face tattoos, came in with a small box of credits. I tucked them away into my kit bag. </p>
<p>I downloaded the information on Greth Lan-Dwu and handed the data chip over to the droid. </p>
<p>Arjun shook my hand one last time, escorting me from the room. </p>
<p>“I’m assuming after all this your ship needs refueling,” he said as we entered the hallway. </p>
<p>“Wouldn’t hurt,” I said. </p>
<p>“Iso, make sure her ship gets topped off,” Arjun said. </p>
<p>“Thanks, I’ll be back in a week and we can get the rest of the payment to you,” I said. </p>
<p>The large man escorted me back to hangar six. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>When we arrived in the hangar, I spotted Dredd having a casual conversation with one of the mechanics. </p>
<p>What were the chances…</p>
<p>“Dredd!” I greeted, unable to hide my smile. My kit bag full of credits and coins was heavy in my hand. </p>
<p>Dredd was devastatingly handsome - tall, broad shouldered, with stubble along his strong jawline and a roguish glint in his eye. The sex with him was memorably good. </p>
<p>“Siobhan,” he said warmly, eyes travelling across me. </p>
<p>My lower lip moved between my teeth. </p>
<p>Iso approached, “Arjun said to refuel her ship. Make yourself useful.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, sure thing,” Dredd said, eyes only leaving my body for a second. </p>
<p>The other mechanic was smirking, getting back to his work. </p>
<p>“She’s the red one, over here,” I said with wink, sauntering over to my ship while Dredd retrieved a fuel hose. </p>
<p>I lowered the ramp to Rosie and Dredd followed me aboard after he got the fuel pump going. </p>
<p>This was what I missed about the pirating life. </p>
<p>I walked Dredd around to my bunk and within seconds we were kissing, hot and heavy, my back pressed against the wall. </p>
<p>He slid his hands up my shirt, squeezing my tits. </p>
<p>I was already wet. I wrapped one hand around the back of his head, pulling him to me, my hips pushing against him. </p>
<p>Dredd unbuttoned my pants, then turned me so I was braced against the wall. </p>
<p>His cock was just as big as I remembered, filling me, stretching me. </p>
<p>I cursed and groaned as he pounded me from behind. He had one hand on my shoulder, the other at my waist. </p>
<p>We fucked like animals, fast and dirty.</p>
<p>Dredd was moaning, moving his hands under my shirt to play with my nipples. </p>
<p>I cried out as he filled me, my body growing warmer as he ran his thumbs across the sensitive skin, twisting the barbells. </p>
<p>I was at my edge, shouting as I began to spasm around his thick cock. </p>
<p>Dredd shouted as his own orgasm washed over him, and I felt him throbbing inside of me. </p>
<p>We collapsed gracelessly against the wall, wet and panting. </p>
<p>I slid off of him and turned around. We kissed, giddy after the moment of passion. He nipped at my bottom lip. I liked the feeling of his stubble against my skin. </p>
<p>“Gods, you are something special,” he sighed. He straightened up, tucking his cock back into his pants. </p>
<p>“You’re just as good as I remembered,” I teased, pulling my own pants up. </p>
<p>“So, what were you doing here?” he asked, running a hand through his wavy brown hair. </p>
<p>“Making a deal with Arjun,” I replied, leading him out of my quarters. </p>
<p>“Does that mean I’ll get to see you again?” Dredd asked, with light in his hazel eyes. </p>
<p>“Maybe,” I replied, giving him a kiss and a pat on the ass. </p>
<p>I walked him to the ramp and hung around while he unhooked the fuel hose. </p>
<p>“Until next time,” I said with a grin. </p>
<p>
  <b>IV</b>
</p>
<p>Once I was out in open space again, I knew it was time to call Ymir. </p>
<p>There was still no word from Vin. This definitely meant there was a problem. I couldn’t be aggressive about it. I’d give him another day or two before I tried again. </p>
<p>I punched in the code for Ymir’s line </p>
<p>His face swam up in my scratchy console feed. </p>
<p>“Siobhan, I expected to hear from you sooner,” he greeted. </p>
<p>I fought the urge to sigh. </p>
<p>“Called you as soon as I had a moment alone,” I said, “Arjun’s in the bag. That’s one out of five for the Smuggler’s Alliance. The information on Greth Lan-Dwu was a hit.”</p>
<p>“Good, you can return to my Estate. I’ll be done with my New Republic meetings in another day.”</p>
<p>“I have a lead on the Hutts,” I said. That was my ticket to Artrix. </p>
<p>Jukhara was close with the Uhdea family; she might be able to help get me a connection with them. </p>
<p>“You already have a lead on the Hutts?” Ymir said, skeptical as usual. </p>
<p>“Yeah, came up in conversation,” I said. </p>
<p>“I expect to read about it in your report,” Ymir replied. </p>
<p>“Yeah, sure,” I said, “I think I’ll be out a few days, plus travel time.”</p>
<p>That would give me a window to make a stop by Vin’s in case I needed to do damage control. </p>
<p>“Write it up, everything, and give me an update on your progress with the Hutts.”</p>
<p>Ymir ended the call. </p>
<p>I set my hyperspace coordinates for Artrix, and pushed the lever forward. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>It was another four hour trip. I was just skipping along through the borders of the Mid-Rim. </p>
<p>My body was sore and tired from all the time on starships - not exercising and breathing recycled air. </p>
<p>I spent some time in the cargo bay, working out and stretching. </p>
<p>It was obnoxious to make all these little trips by myself. I had hours of boredom and silence, only broken up by my next meeting. </p>
<p>After I worked up a sweat, I had some caffeine, grabbed a beer, and returned to the cockpit to work on my report for Ymir. </p>
<p>I skimmed through the information, seeing what I could get away with. Unless Ymir was having me followed, there was no way for him to verify most of it. And if I was being followed, I wanted to find out sooner rather than later. </p>
<p>In my report, I stumbled across Dax at Maz’s. Then we hoofed it out to Arjun’s ship, where Arjun reminded me of a mutual friend that had a new gig with the Hutts. </p>
<p>I didn’t include anything about the mysterious Force energy at Maz’s or the side trip to Eufornis Major. I also left out that I had eight percent cash from Arjun.</p>
<p>As I typed, my eyelids grew heavy; the effort of writing a stale report was luring me towards sleep. </p>
<p>I shook myself awake, wanting to be done. </p>
<p>Impulsively, I wrote a sarcastic couple of sentences about hooking up with Dredd. After all, Ymir had asked me to include every name and every encounter I had. I’d delete that before I sent it. </p>
<p>With all my work out of the way, and an hour of hyperspace travel left ahead of me, I leaned my chair back and caught some shut-eye. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I jerked awake to the console alarm going off. </p>
<p>My brain was foggy, worse than before I had taken a nap. </p>
<p>The lags were catching up to me; too much time in hyperspace, too many planets. </p>
<p>I stretched and yawned, then shuffled to the kitchen for caffeine. </p>
<p>When I returned to the cockpit, I finished preparing Rosie to exit hyperspace. </p>
<p>There were some concerning readouts on my ship. The fuel injector for the hyperdrive was starting to overheat and the hyperdrive pressure was higher than it should be. If the pressure stayed too high for too long she would overheat and stall out. Or explode. </p>
<p>It wasn’t a problem right now, but I’d need to do some maintenance soon. </p>
<p>Soon, I’d be at the Outpost and I could put my feet up and rest for a little while. </p>
<p>I took Rosie to a different garage this time, closer to midtown. </p>
<p>I was careful to lock and hide everything that I didn’t need. </p>
<p>Because I was meeting with Jukhara, I made sure to bring a thousand credits. It would be enough to buy an introduction with the Hutts, and keep me entertained at The Outpost afterward. </p>
<p>My tablet went into my kit bag along with a couple changes of clothing. I took a moment to hold my lightsabers, wanting to take them with me and knowing I couldn’t. </p>
<p>It was evening when I arrived. </p>
<p>The air was humid and thick with the smells of the canals, people, and street food. </p>
<p>Zeltros loomed in the sky, half-covered by clouds and smog. </p>
<p>I grabbed a meal at a food stall, putting some coins on the counter and ordering a spicy noodle soup. </p>
<p>I slurped it quickly, ordering a beer that I took with me. </p>
<p>The Outpost was a twenty minute walk away. </p>
<p>I used that time to put together a game plan. </p>
<p>I had to go to Jukhara and let her know I was here. If luck was on my side, I could get her to agree to connect me with the Hutts. </p>
<p>Jukhara expected me to tell Ahobri that my mystery pilot was actually Kylo Ren. </p>
<p>Jukhara had also figured out that I was a Sith. That was going to be harder to tell Ahobri. </p>
<p>I had told Ahobri that Ymir killed my father. She knew that I wanted to kill Ymir, but I had never talked about the Force. It was absurd. </p>
<p>Everyone knew me as a smuggler and a drunk. I had no idea how I was going to tell Ahobri without her thinking I was making a joke. </p>
<p>I wanted Ahobri to join me. She was too smart to spend the rest of her life at The Outpost, but she was nervous. She doubted herself. </p>
<p>My thoughts churned in my head, a big tangled mess. </p>
<p>Then my time was up; I arrived at the Outpost. </p>
<p>I used one of the back entrances. I could already hear the thumping music and sounds of people inside, having a good time. </p>
<p>I recognized the beefy Rodian guarding the door from my last visit, but he had a different partner, a scowling Chagrian woman that I didn’t know. </p>
<p>“Where’s Koval?” I asked, approaching the door. </p>
<p>I didn’t know if the Rodian remembered me. </p>
<p>“He has the night off,” the Rodian said, “You came by a few weeks ago, Zhang, right?”</p>
<p>“That’s me,” I said with a friendly smile. </p>
<p>“She used to work here. She’s allowed in,” the Rodian told his partner, and waved me inside. </p>
<p>I entered The Outpost with purpose. This time, I wasn’t here to go on a bender. </p>
<p>I navigated the crush of bodies, saying brief hellos. I made my way to the living quarters, sandwiched halfway up the building, three floors devoted entirely to staff. </p>
<p>Ahobri would be working. I planned to stash my things in her room, not wanting to walk through the club with the bulky kit bag. </p>
<p>This time of night, the space was deserted. </p>
<p>I found Ahobri’s door and put my palm against it <i>reaching</i> into the lock. The door slid open and I stepped inside. </p>
<p>The room was cluttered and messy. Her closet was bursting open, and there was clothing all over the bed and the floor. The lights of her vanity were still blazing. </p>
<p>I took a moment to freshen up, helping myself to her shower. I dried myself off and pulled my hair into a tight braid, looping it into a bun at the back of my head. </p>
<p>It would be harder to tell my hair was still wet. </p>
<p>I didn’t have a dress, or any fancy clothing to speak of, so I made do with my black pants and a black bra, pulling my olive jacket over it. I borrowed a pair of large, gold earrings Ahobri had left out on her vanity and did my make up, lining my eyes with black, and putting on black lipstick. </p>
<p>I tucked the credits into a pouch on my belt, and placed my tablet in the pocket on the inside of my jacket. </p>
<p>It was time to find Jukhara. </p>
<p>I had to ask around. Every time I got to the place someone had last seen her, she had already moved on to a different location. </p>
<p>Apparently there were several high-stakes card games and some of our wealthiest clients in the club tonight. She was keeping busy. </p>
<p>Finally, I found Jukhara in the dressing room overseeing some of her top-earning dancers before their big performance on stage. She was in a gorgeous dress, all silk and brocade, hugging her curves. Her t’bac holder was in hand, smoke wafting up in swirling patterns as she talked. </p>
<p>There were fifteen performers in the room; they wore glittering, strappy outfits, all a similar design, but cut to flatter their different body shapes. </p>
<p>Jukhara was in the thick of it, making adjustments to costumes and assigning dancers to clients. </p>
<p>“Siobhan, Ubis said you were looking for me,” she said, holding an arm out to hug me. </p>
<p>“I figured I’d say hello. I didn’t bring any special guests this time.”</p>
<p>Jukhara gave me a prim, testy look, clearly not ready to joke about having Kylo Ren in her brothel.</p>
<p>“Ahobri is booked with clients tonight, so you’ll have to wait to catch up with her.”</p>
<p>“That’s fine,” I said, “I have another business proposal for you.”</p>
<p>Jukhara laughed, loud and throaty. </p>
<p>“You don’t know when to stop, do you?” she said, an edge of rebuke in her voice. </p>
<p>“I mean, if you’re not interested in money…” I bantered back. </p>
<p>“As you can see, I’m very busy tonight,” Jukhara said, “Are you sticking around?”</p>
<p>“At least through tomorrow,” I said. </p>
<p>“Then we’ll meet tomorrow,” she replied, dismissing me. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I had the evening to myself. </p>
<p>I made my way to one of the lounges, not in the mood for a loud dance floor tonight. </p>
<p>Last time I had gone way too hard, and I didn’t want to run myself into the ground again. </p>
<p>I found myself in a room lit in dim purple light, smooth music playing. Round, cushioned booths lined the walls. Almost all of them were full, with dancers coming by to gyrate on the tables and give lap dances to whoever asked. </p>
<p>I took a seat at the bar, ordering a shot and a drink I could nurse for a little while. </p>
<p>There were enough credits on my belt to get me into a lot of trouble, but I didn’t want to fuck up again. </p>
<p>I wanted to be in good shape to talk with Ahobri and Jukhara tomorrow. </p>
<p>I had just received my second drink when Troye found me. </p>
<p>“Siobhan, please don’t tell me you are drinking alone at this bar,” he said, slipping into the seat next to me, “What happened to your pilot?”</p>
<p>“He’s out on a job,” I said, looking Troye up and down. </p>
<p>He was gorgeous, all dolled up for the night; neon-pink lipstick was smeared across his lips; his eyes were ringed in blue; he wore a tight, see-through dress made out of black mesh, a black thong, and black satin gloves that went up to the elbow. </p>
<p>“You look beautiful,” I said, giving him a kiss. </p>
<p>His lips were sweet. </p>
<p>“So what are you doing here?” he asked. </p>
<p>“Cooling my heels. Been doing non-stop hyperspace jumps for the past few days.”</p>
<p>“You look exhausted,” he added, helpfully. </p>
<p>“Thanks Troye, glad you’re looking out for me,” I said with a grin. </p>
<p>I ordered us a round of shots and we tipped them back. </p>
<p>“Got any clients tonight?” I asked, giving him a flirtatious look. </p>
<p>He smiled, “Are you paying?”</p>
<p>“Of course, dear,” I said, “I’ll throw you a hundred more credits if you can track down Jenna and a room for a few hours.”</p>
<p>“We’ll get you taken care of,” Troye said, giving me another kiss. </p>
<p>
  <b>V</b>
</p>
<p>Troye had me set up in a small, but luxurious, private room.</p>
<p>The sofa and chairs had tie-points. There was a locker with neatly arranged toys and restraints, equipped with anything I could possibly want.  </p>
<p>Jenna was performing, but she’d swing by the room when she was off the floor. </p>
<p>Troye opened a bottle of fizzy sweet alcohol and poured us both glasses. He turned down the lights to soft blues and pinks, and spread out a fur blanket over the back of the sofa. He set the music to something with a smooth regular beat. </p>
<p>I sat on the couch, enjoying my drink, watching him work. </p>
<p>“You sure know how to take care of a girl,” I said. </p>
<p>“We’re just getting started,” he said, curling up next to me on the sofa, and pulling a little vial with orange powder from his satin gloves. </p>
<p>Euphoria. It had gotten me in trouble last time. I had allowed the world to melt away from me. </p>
<p>Still, one or two hits wouldn’t leave me too strung out. </p>
<p>Troye tapped my dose out onto the back of his hand and I sniffed the powder up my nose. Then it was my turn to serve Troye. </p>
<p>Seconds later, I could feel the drug lighting up my brain. </p>
<p>My exhaustion was lifted from my shoulders. The blue and pink lights created a sweet cocoon around us. Music thrummed through my brain, steady and true. </p>
<p>I was kissing Troye, my fingers winding through his long black hair. </p>
<p>He sighed, our bodies close. </p>
<p>We were on the couch for a long time, all lips, tongues, and exploring fingers. </p>
<p>Troye was taking off my clothes, dropping my jacket to the floor, sucking on my nipples. </p>
<p>His teeth grazed the barbells and he nipped at them, making me yelp. Goosebumps rose across my skin. </p>
<p>I was wet, getting more turned on by the moment. </p>
<p>Troye was moving his hand up my neck, gripping me at the base of my skull. </p>
<p>“Now if I remember, you’re a submissive little thing,” he said with a teasing croon.  </p>
<p>He already knew what I liked, hearing me say it was more fun. </p>
<p>“Yes…” I whispered as he bit my bottom lip. </p>
<p>Troye was hard, his large cock tenting the thong and front of his dress. </p>
<p>He pushed my head down, and I slid into place, kneeling between his legs. </p>
<p>I dragged my tongue along his length, separated by thin fabric. </p>
<p>As I started to work on Troye, he pulled the vial of Euphoria from his glove and we had another hit. </p>
<p>After that, I began to suck on his cock in earnest, pushing the dress up around his waist and tugging the thong to the side. </p>
<p>I was slow with him. </p>
<p>The drug made the world bright and soft and warm around me. </p>
<p>This wasn’t a quickie in my bunk. Troye didn’t need to lay claim to my body. </p>
<p>We were close, sharing pleasure. I wrapped my lips around the head of his cock, creating pressure for him to push through, sliding down his length, feeling him at the back of my throat. </p>
<p>Four times I got him close to orgasm, and four times he made me stop, not ready to come yet. </p>
<p>Jenna arrived to find me kneeling between Troye’s legs, the fur blanket beneath my knees. Troye was moaning, arms stretched along the back of the sofa, head lolling back.</p>
<p>“Were you waiting for me to tie her up?” Jenna asked, playful and dominant. </p>
<p>I could smell t’bac and perfume as she entered the room. </p>
<p>“I figured I could keep her distracted,” Troye said disdainfully, bringing a hand down, fingertips grazing my cheek. </p>
<p>I moaned, taking him deep in my throat and I felt him groan, cock throbbing. </p>
<p>“I’m sure Siobhan’s enjoying herself,” Jenna said, joining me on the floor. </p>
<p>She moved her hand between my legs, feeling my heat, dipping into my wetness. </p>
<p>“I know how worked up you get when you’re on your knees,” Jenna said, lips next to my ear. </p>
<p>I moaned and shuddered in response. </p>
<p>Her fingers moved smoothly in and out of me, filling me, curling to find those sensitive places deep inside. </p>
<p>I lifted my head from Troye’s cock, gasping and moaning. He leaned down to kiss me. </p>
<p>Troye and Jenna did a hit of Euphoria. I declined, switching to the bottle of fizzy alcohol. </p>
<p>Jenna tied me up, securing my arms behind my back. </p>
<p>“I want to see Troye come on that pretty face of yours,” Jenna said, bossy and crude, the way I liked it. </p>
<p>She ordered me around while I sucked on Troye, when he couldn’t hold back any longer he pulled back, pulsing come onto my cheeks and forehead. </p>
<p>Jenna kissed both of us, wiping at my face with the sleeve of her costume. </p>
<p>“Has she had the chance to come yet?” she asked Troye, keeping up the rude dismissive act. </p>
<p>“She hasn’t,” he said, flopping onto the couch. </p>
<p>“Then we should take care of her then,” Jenna said. </p>
<p>They took turns flogging me. Jenna using a cat ‘o nine tails on my ass and thighs, passing it off to Troye for him to use on my back and shoulders. </p>
<p>She hogtied me and licked me, the stud in her tongue firm against my clit, bringing me to a shuddering screaming orgasm. Troye fucked me hard afterwards. </p>
<p>Then I was between Jenna’s legs, arms bound behind my back, as she lay on the couch. I made her come three times, one after the other, her belly tight as she bucked her hips.  </p>
<p>When we were done, the three of us cuddled together, rolling ourselves up in the fur blanket, kissing each other and dozing. </p>
<p>This wasn’t a room to sleep in, and the night was stretching its way towards dawn. </p>
<p>We picked ourselves up, kissing and caressing each other as we slowly pulled on our clothes. </p>
<p>When we made it to the staff quarters, Jenna offered for me to stay in her room, but I told her I’d stay with Ahobri. </p>
<p>Ahobri’s door was locked and I <i>pushed</i> it open again, making sure that no one noticed me. </p>
<p>I pulled off my clothes, dropping them onto the floor, and buried myself in Ahobri’s blankets. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I woke up when she came in. I listened to her changing out of her costume and taking off her make-up. </p>
<p>“So that’s where you’ve been,” she said in a low, gentle voice as I groaned and turned in her bed. </p>
<p>“What time is it?” I asked. </p>
<p>“Shhh...,” Ahobri said, crawling in next to me, being the big spoon. </p>
<p>She wrapped her fingers through mine, her chin against my shoulder. </p>
<p>We lay in silence, her chest against my back. I felt the even rise and fall of her breath, and found myself drifting off to sleep</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I had so much fun writing this chapter! In my next post we’ll see how Siobhan reconnects with Ahobri and if Jukhara will help get her get a deal with the Hutts. </p>
<p>As a heads up, I’m going to be out on a camping trip, and I’m not confident I’ll be ready with a post for next Wednesday. I’ll do my best, but if you don’t see a post, that’s what happened. </p>
<p>Also, I’ve really been going back and forth on putting together a behind-the-scenes post about this story. I thought I’d share where the idea came from, inspiration for characters, stuff that I love about Star Wars and wanted to explore. If you’d be interested in reading a post like that, or have specific questions you’d want me to answer, leave a comment!</p>
<p>Thanks so much for reading, and I always love to hear from y’all.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Mending and Tearing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Siobhan is making progress in her new assignment for the First Order. </p><p>She returned to Artrix to meet with her closest friend, and to see if her old boss will help her get a meeting with the Hutts. </p><p>Siobhan is still struggling with what it means to be an agent of the First Order. We’ll see how she tries to navigate her new responsibilities and regain her trust with her friends.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We have some really fun updates this week! </p><p>(I'm having a lot of trouble getting the links to work. I'll keep chugging away at the issue)</p><p>First off, a huge shout-out to <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B8wTlc5ndfS/">Melameme_cosplays</a> for cosplaying Siobhan! They chose the opening of Book 2, immediately after Siobhan’s fight with Ymir. They did such a good job with the make-up and special effects. Check out their instagram for more cosplay - I really love their Beast Boy and Shiro!</p><p>The camping trip in Moab was absolutely amazing. It’s such a humbling feeling to be walking through, and on, these rock structures that are (literally) hundreds of millions of years old. </p><p>I got a little carried away on the hike our first day. I just posted a piece on my <a href="https://andromeda-rising-897.tumblr.com/post/190957416640/moab-at-night">Tumblr</a> about accidentally getting stuck in the desert after dark…</p><p>We have a long chapter this week, so let’s get to it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>Trigger warnings</b>: Brief mention of childhood sexual assault without description or details; Brief mention of self harm (unrelated to previous warning); Unhealthy relationship dynamics and awful BDSM etiquette. </p><p>
  <b>I</b>
</p><p>Ahobri woke me up - gently smoothing my hair away from my face. </p><p>“Still alive?” she asked. </p><p>I grumbled and groaned, reluctantly shifting positions in bed. </p><p>“Take this,” Ahobri said, handing me a warm cup, “I got us breakfast.”</p><p>I opened my eyes and propped myself up in bed, taking a careful sip of caffeine. </p><p>Ahobri sat next to me, digging around in a bag. I smelled grease and spices. </p><p>“You’re my favorite person. You know that right?” I said, kissing her cheek. </p><p>“Of course I do, love,” Ahobri replied, handing me some kind of sandwich. I set it down in my lap. </p><p>“How long was I out?”</p><p>“At least twelve hours,” Ahobri said, taking a bite of her breakfast, “What have you been up to?”</p><p>“I started a new assignment,” I said. I rubbed at the corner of my mouth, discovering that I had drooled in my sleep. My eyes felt gritty, still covered in make-up from the night before. With pride, I realized that I wasn’t hungover. “I just got in from this fucking wild goose chase. Managed to tour half the Outer Rim in two days.”</p><p>Ahobri made a sympathetic frown, “You didn’t move a muscle when I was getting ready.”</p><p>She sat cross-legged on the bed, fully dressed for the day; she had a full face of make-up; her headtails tied up in a patterned fabric, a pair of round, tinted glasses perched on top; she wore a flowy, sleeveless, tunic dress, and one of the silver armbands I had given her. </p><p>I wasn’t wearing a damn thing.  </p><p>“Thanks for letting me get some beauty sleep. I was feeling the lags after all those hyperspace jumps,” I said, digging into my sandwich, “How were your clients?”</p><p>“They were good,” Ahobri said with a bright smile, “Tobias wants me to be his date at some party he’s throwing in a few weeks, and he tipped me a hundred fifty credits.”</p><p>“Not bad,” I replied with a wink. </p><p>“I really wasn’t expecting to see you this soon,” Ahobri said, “What’d you come out here for?”</p><p>“Well, number one, I wanted to see you again,” I said. </p><p>Ahobri gave me a look, knowing that there was more to it. </p><p>“I was hoping Jukhara could connect me with the Hutts, part of my new job,” I finished. </p><p>“Jukhara just signed that contract, seventy thousand credits every fucking cycle. I’m sure she’ll be happy to help,” Ahobri said. </p><p>I grimaced and took a sip of caffeine, “I dunno. She seemed pretty put out with me last night.” Jukhara had barely given me the time of day, completely brushing me off. </p><p>“It was a surprise to hear you’re working for the First Order,” Ahobri said, “Jukhara had a lot of questions for me about that guy you brought. She told me she was going to look into him, but then wouldn’t tell me who he was when I asked.”</p><p> Ahobri leaned forward, all prim and sweet, “How about you tell me what the fuck is going on, Siobhan?”</p><p>I took another drink, steeling myself, “Yeah, Jukhara said I needed to be the one to tell you… my pilot... the guy I brought… that’s Kylo Ren.”</p><p>The slap came out of nowhere, stinging my right cheek.</p><p>“Ow! What the fuck was that for?!” I shouted, bringing a hand up to my face. </p><p>Ahobri was sitting across from me, completely stunned, there was a tremble in the hand she had slapped me with. </p><p>“Kylo Ren?!” Ahobri said, doing her best to keep her voice down, while putting as much emphasis as she could into the two words. </p><p>Her eyes were locked onto mine. </p><p>“That’s why Jukhara wanted me to tell you,” I said with a frown, rubbing my cheek. </p><p>Ahobri was giving me a look of outrage and disbelief, “You said his name was fucking Kay! Gods, you are such an asshole!”</p><p>I made an apologetic smile, putting a hand on Ahobri’s knee. She let me touch her, “Look, I just thought it would be safer for you not to know. I really didn’t expect Jukhara to find out this quickly.”</p><p>“Are you fucking with me?” Ahobri demanded, starting to get angry. </p><p>I shook my head, “I’m not,” I said, as sincere as I knew how to be, “Everything has changed since the last time I saw you, and I still don’t know how to tell you about it.”</p><p>Ahobri’s eyes were shimmering with tears, “Try me,” she said, with a determined clench to her jaw. </p><p>I gave her a hug, squeezing her tightly, “Let me put on some clothes, first.”</p><p>Ahobri put the rest of her sandwich on her nightstand, while I scanned for my clothes on the messy floors. I pulled on my pants and a shirt. </p><p>“I think I know what you’re going to tell me,” Ahobri said, as I returned to the bed, “You told me that you found Lord Ymir. You and Kay… Kylo... seemed pretty comfortable with one another. That means you’re one of them.”</p><p>This was why I loved Ahobri. She was whip-smart and knew exactly how to cut through my bullshit. </p><p>I nodded, “This all just happened a few cycles ago. I’m still getting used to it.”</p><p>“That’s what I felt. There was this… energy… from both of you. I told myself that it must have been the drugs, but I knew it was real.”</p><p>I took Ahobri’s green hands in mine. Being serious did not come naturally.  </p><p>“Ymir left me alive because he felt a spark of the Force in me.” It felt so strange to say those words to Ahobri. “He was waiting to see if I could find him. I did, and he took me in for training.”</p><p>Ahobri’s eyes never left me, “Gods… I want to ask you everything… Kylo fucking Ren,” she gave her head a little shake, gathering herself. She took hold of my left hand, and looked at the hatch mark tattoos and scars on my arm, “You’re going to tell me how you got these. I saw a desert. I know I did.”</p><p>My mouth was drawing in. I didn’t want to talk to Ahobri about Korriban. </p><p>That story was absolute madness, but I didn’t see any way to dodge her question. </p><p>“I don’t know how to tell you the story without sounding insane,” I admitted. </p><p>Ahobri waited, expression growing more gentle, “Just tell me. I want to understand what’s going on.”</p><p>I took a deep breath. “I gave myself the tattoos,” I began, wanting to get one of the hard parts over with. </p><p>Ahobri’s eyes widened. </p><p>“Ymir took me to Korriban for training, that’s the desert you saw. Apparently there was a Sith empire there a few thousand years ago but there’s nothing there anymore,” I continued, “We trained there for a week, then he abandoned me, without warning, for sixty-three days.”</p><p>“Siobhan!”</p><p>“Please, that’s why I didn’t want to tell you what happened,” I said, with a small frown, giving her hand a squeeze, “I was the only person on that planet. I didn’t have any real weapons or enough supplies. I had no idea when Ymir was coming back for me, so I gave myself the tattoos to track how many days it had been.”</p><p>Ahobri traced her fingertips along my skin, the uneven markings and raised scars, “That’s not all,” she said. </p><p>I resolved not to cry. She knew me. I couldn’t hide anything from her, “It was a connection point… to the power I have. Making the tattoos helped me.”</p><p>The Darkside, the Sith, the Jedi, all of that was so far away from Ahobri’s daily life. Ymir had studied their philosophies since he was a kid. Ren was taken in by Luke. Their lives revolved around their studies and training, but it meant nothing to most people in the Galaxy.</p><p>“So you were alone on this planet and Lord Ymir came back for you, after sixty-three days?” Ahobri said. </p><p>“And when he came back for me I tried to kill him,” I said, “That’s how I got this.” I tapped the burn over my left cheek and eye. </p><p>“I don’t know what I would have done if you told me this shit the last time you were here,” Ahobri admitted. “There’s so much I want to ask you, and I can’t even keep the questions straight in my head.”</p><p>I laughed, “I didn’t think you’d believe any of this.”</p><p>“You’re different,” Ahobri said with conviction, “It’s not just how you look. Jukhara talked with me about it, as a friend. She saw it too.”</p><p>I didn’t know how to respond. </p><p>“So, now that I know I’ve met Kylo Ren,” Ahobri said, a little sly, trying to lighten the mood, “What’s that like?”</p><p>She meant for it to be a playful question, but I felt my temper flaring. I wanted to spit, but we were sitting in her bed. </p><p>I shrugged, “You saw it.”</p><p>“What happened?” Ahobri asked, hearing my dismissiveness, “He couldn’t take his eyes off of you.”</p><p>“He told me he loved me and I fucked someone else,” I said with a sneer. </p><p>Ahobri was looking at me, trying to decide what to ask first, “But why turn someone like that away? Isn’t he, like, a prince or something?”</p><p>I laughed, bitterly, “He’s a lonely, angry man, and I’m done trying to keep people like him on my side.”</p><p>“And you still plan to kill Lord Ymir?”</p><p>The question caught me off guard. Ahobri had urged me to tell the truth and, so far, she had listened. </p><p>“I tried to kill him again, just a few days ago,” I answered. </p><p>Ahobri took in a breath as if she were about to speak, but she stayed silent. </p><p>“I mean, I failed, obviously,” I continued, “I was a mess, strung out on Blue. We had been out in these caves for twenty four hours, training. The moment came, and I tried to kill him.”</p><p>“How are you still alive?”</p><p>“I honestly don’t know,” I said, with a slow shake of my head, “I’ve tried to kill him twice, and each time I’ve been able walked away.”</p><p>I had been so scared to talk to Ahobri about this, but she wasn’t running. </p><p>I felt my heart opening as my story tumbled from my lips. </p><p>“The last mission I did, it was the worst thing I’ve ever done, and it’s not like my hands are clean,” I said, “I fought Ymir because I hated what I had done. I hate the First Order and what they stand for,” I was frowning, my hands tightening in my lap, “I’m alive because I’m useful to him. Right now, I’m not strong enough to kill him, but someday I will be. I have to stay close to them, so I’m going to play along.”</p><p>I took Ahobri’s hand. Her heart was beating quickly. I could feel her fear, but there was a tick of pride in there too. </p><p>“I want you to come with me,” I said, meeting her dark brown eyes. </p><p>“Siobhan, you can’t be serious,” Ahobri said, her head shaking side to side.</p><p>“I’m completely serious. I’ve been thinking about you this whole time,” I said, “I have rank. I have status. I am making so much fucking money. Right now, I have twelve thousand credits in cash, on my ship. Ahobri, I want you to come with me.”</p><p>Now she was starting to look scared. I was coming on too strong. </p><p>I sighed, taking a step back, “I’m not asking for an answer right now…”</p><p>“Jukhara said you wanted me to hold onto your fee,” Ahobri said, looking down at our hands. She rubbed her thumb across my skin, anxiously, “You’re doing something really dangerous.”</p><p>“That’s not new,” I said with a small smile. </p><p>Thankfully, Ahobri returned my smile, “It isn’t new,” she agreed, “But what you’re doing now, with the First Order…”</p><p>“Think about it this way,” I said, trying to get this conversation back where I wanted it, “You met Kylo Ren, in person, and you thought he was just some weird boyfriend I dragged out after finishing a job. They’re all like that. They’re just people. They’re not as special as you’d think.”</p><p>To my surprise, Ahobri started laughing. At first, it was just giggles that she hid behind her fist, then she was grinning, eyes squeezing shut as she laughed harder. </p><p>“What did I say?” I asked, worried that I had pushed the issue too hard. </p><p>Ahobri gulped some breaths, slowing herself down, shoulders still moving with laughter, “You’re talking about two of the leaders of the First Order, and you’re saying they’re not that special. I really don’t agree, but I admire your attitude.”</p><p>“You saw it. Jenna had Ren eating out of the palm of her hand, and all she did was give him some attention,” I said, raising an eyebrow. </p><p>Ahobri put her hand over mine. “Siobhan, if I answered you right now, I would tell you no,” she said firmly, “I am absolutely unconvinced. Why do you want me to join you?”</p><p>I didn’t hesitate, “You’re better than this. You’re better than this place. I want to see you doing more than impressing clients and managing a few floors of a brothel.”</p><p>Her tears came, sudden and strong. I gathered her in my arms, pulling her close. </p><p>Ahobri had slipped from me once before. Five years ago, we had planned on leaving this place together, but she was too scared. She doubted herself. </p><p>She had lived a hard life, born in the lowest slums of Zeltros. At nine, her mother had sold her off to work as a domestic on Artrix; she thought that Ahobri would be a maid for a family, and that they would stay in touch. </p><p>It was all a lie. Ahobri found herself at the mercy of a violent and abusive man, living with several other young girls he had bought. When she turned sixteen, he decided she was too old for him and he kicked her out onto the streets. She found her way to the Outpost, where Jukhara took her in - giving Ahobri work in the kitchens, cleaning the house, and serving drinks for several years while she recovered. </p><p>This life was all that she knew. </p><p>I held Ahobri for several minutes while she wept. </p><p>“I will always have your back,” I said, “You can tell me no, and it won’t change anything. But I want so much more for you.”</p><p>Ahobri sniffled, and took long, shaky breaths. She faced me, wiping at her eyes with the hem of her dress, “I love you, Siobhan,” she finally said. </p><p>“I love you too,” I said, kissing her forehead and putting a hand on her shoulder, “I’m going to have a meeting with Jukhara. I want you to sit in with me,” I said. </p><p>“Not looking like this,” Ahobri said. </p><p>“Go fix your face. I’ll wait,” I replied with a grin. </p><p>***</p><p>My late wake-up and our long conversation had eaten up a big chunk of the day. </p><p>It was only a few hours until the club started ramping up for the evening crowds. I needed to catch Jukhara before she got busy again. </p><p>Ahobri’s management shift would be starting soon. She got dressed up in her evening wear - a slinky, black, silk dress with a slit up the thigh; she put on the jewelry I had gotten for her - the armbands in silver filigree and a matching necklace. </p><p>I gathered up my things, making sure everything was packed in the kit bag. I planned to leave after the meeting. </p><p>“Jukhara already gave me your cut,” Ahobri said as she re-did her make-up. “I have it in the safe by the closet.”</p><p>“Hold onto it,” I said with a grin, “See how you like it.”</p><p>When we were finished getting ready, Ahobri led the way to Jukhara. </p><p>She was in a meeting with the managers of the gambling floors. We waited outside for her. I set my  kit bag on the ground next to me.</p><p>Jukhara gave us a nod when she finally stepped outside. She put a roll of t’bac in her fancy ebony holder. </p><p>“It looks like you finally got Siobhan out of bed,” she said, giving each of us an embrace and a kiss on the cheek. </p><p>“We needed some time to catch up and talk,” Ahobri said. </p><p>Jukhara shot a look at me. The onyx charm, hanging between her filed-down horns, glittered in the light. </p><p>“I told her,” I confirmed. </p><p>“Well, I know you have another business proposal for me. Let’s talk in my office.”</p><p>We followed her rustling dress and elegant trail of t’bac smoke through the back hallways and staff elevators. </p><p>Today, Koval had the guard shift outside Jukhara’s office. She brushed past him. I gave the Gamorrean a friendly smile that he returned with a wink. </p><p>Jukhara went to the liquor stand behind her desk, and poured the three of us a round of whiskey. We touched glasses.  </p><p>“So, Ahobri, how do you feel now that you know about Siobhan’s new boyfriend?” Jukhara said indecorously, taking a seat behind her desk. </p><p>It rankled me to hear her use the term ‘boyfriend,’ but I had the sense that she wanted to get under my skin. Jukhara would be digging to find out what was really going on. I had showed up on her doorstep eight years ago, half-wild, running from a bad relationship. Now she knew that I was Ymir’s new Sith. </p><p>I needed to keep my cool. I made a little smile and crossed my ankle over my knee. </p><p>“Well, I could feel that there was something different about him and I asked Siobhan about it then,” Ahobri said diplomatically, “Kylo Ren wasn’t my first guess, he wasn’t even on the list, but everything makes more sense now.”</p><p>“And did Siobhan tell you about her position in the First Order?” Jukhara asked. </p><p>“She did,” Ahobri nodded. </p><p>“You understand that this information doesn’t go beyond the three of us,” Jukhara said firmly, gesturing between us with her t’bac holder. </p><p>“Of course,” Ahobri said. </p><p>“Siobhan, did you stop to think about how Jenna might feel if she found out who he was?” Jukhara asked. Her gaze was sharp. </p><p>“No…” I answered, feeling caught in the spotlight. </p><p>It hadn’t occurred to me. Jenna could navigate Ren’s type. I thought it would just be some easy money for her. I hadn’t considered how she might feel until this very moment. </p><p>Jukhara made a tight lipped nod. She was angry. It wasn’t a good way to start a negotiation. </p><p>“So, what’s your business?” she asked, folding her hands in front of her.</p><p>“I need to meet with the Hutts. I’d like you to arrange a meeting for me,” I said easily. </p><p>“The Hutts? What do you want from them?” Jukhara asked, eyes narrowing. </p><p>“I have a proposal for them,” I replied, “I think it’s better that you don’t know the details.” </p><p>Jukhara’s lips curled into a smile and she took a drag off a fresh roll of t’bac, “The Hutts don’t like the First Order any more than they liked the Empire.”</p><p>Smoke wafted up above her head. </p><p>“I’ll be speaking on behalf of an anonymous organization, not the First Order,” I said with a smile, keeping my tone cool. </p><p>“That’ll cost you,” Jukhara said, red lips parting in a crafty smile, showing off her white teeth. </p><p>“I wouldn’t expect any less from you,” I said. </p><p>We were bantering, warming up. </p><p>Ahobri sat back, enjoying the show, sipping her drink. </p><p>“Who do you want to contact? Joll Surick?”</p><p>He was the liason for The Outpost. They had worked together for decades. </p><p>“Ultimately, I want a sit-down with Boz Uhdea. But Joll is a good starting place.”</p><p>Jukhara laughed, “You want to get a meeting with Boz Uhdea himself? If anyone can do that, you can, but it won’t be easy.”</p><p>“All I need is an introduction, and Joll works. I’ll pay you and reimburse any credits you spend to make it happen,” I said. </p><p>“I know you’re good for the money,” Jukhara said, “But without an important name or information about your deal, the Hutts will take your money and punt the meeting off until you’re not willing to pay them anymore.”</p><p>Fuck, she was absolutely right. </p><p>“On top of that, I don’t know how deeply I want to get wrapped up in your plans,” Jukhara said, “I’m fine sending people out for some officers to fuck. I’ll take their credits, but I’m not sure I want to serve as a go-between for whatever you and your Master have in mind.”</p><p>“He’s not my Master,” I said sharply, reflexively. </p><p>Ahobri turned to me, and Jukhara made a long raspy laugh, leaning back in her chair. </p><p>“Well it looks like they haven’t taken all the piss and vinegar out of you yet,” she grinned, starting to move past her anger towards me. </p><p>“Oh, they’ve tried,” I said with a leer. </p><p>Jukhara took a moment to study me - the scar on my face, my plain clothing. I looked like any other smuggler or gangster that came through her doors.  </p><p>When Jukhara finally spoke, her words were measured and careful, “Siobhan, you’re asking me to put my reputation on the line. That price goes beyond credits, even with the deep pockets you have now.”</p><p>I gave her a respectful nod. </p><p>“I won’t do this for you,” Jukhara said, shaking her head. “I won’t go to the Uhdea’s with a deal that you won’t tell me about. I’m not willing to get mixed up in this scheme.”</p><p>I took her rejection calmly. </p><p>Ahobri was looking between both of us in surprise. </p><p>I finished my drink and stood. </p><p>Jukhara came around her desk to give me a hug and kiss on the cheek, “If you can provide me with information about the deal, I’ll consider it. This doesn’t have to be a hard no.”</p><p>“I understand,” I replied, “Thanks, Jukhara.”</p><p>“Ahobri, I want you to manage fifteen and sixteen tonight. We have Senator Galfanis coming in and I expect his staff to be spending their money on those floors. Make sure to prepare our staff like last time.”</p><p>“I know what to do,” Ahobri said with a smile. </p><p>The two of us left Jukhara’s office together. </p><p>I fist-bumped Koval on my way out. </p><p>“I’d like to stay longer, but I should get going,” I said as we headed down the hall. </p><p>“I’m surprised she said no,” Ahobri said, brows drawing together, her red lips pulling into a thoughtful frown. </p><p>I shrugged, “She’s right. I wasn’t giving her any information to work with. I get why she’s worried about her reputation.”</p><p>“Joll’s going to know about the contract, though,” Ahobri said, working through the conversation, “Why didn’t you just tell her what the deal was?”</p><p>“Because she knows who my employer is,” I answered. </p><p>Ahobri’s mouth twisted to the side, “Oh, I understand now.”</p><p>She loved to figure out problems. I could tell that she was going to be thinking about this after I left, trying to find a solution. This was exactly why I wanted Ahobri at my side.</p><p>I changed the subject. </p><p>“When was the last time you had a few days off?” I asked. </p><p>“Too long,” Ahobri answered, “Why do you ask?”</p><p>“Well, I’m going to be sailing around the Mid-Rim for a little while. I figured next time I’m out this way, I could pick you up, and take you out. We could have some fun for a few days.”</p><p>I thought about Ymir’s estate. She would love it there. </p><p>“Okay. Let me know and I’ll ask off for a few days,” Ahobri said. </p><p>We were at the elevator. Ahobri needed to go up, to begin preparing her staff and getting the floors ready for the night. </p><p>“I will. I’ll be back as soon as I can,” I said, giving her a kiss. </p><p>“I’m glad we got to talk, for real this time,” Ahobri said. </p><p>I grinned. </p><p>“Be careful,” she added, a stern look on her face. </p><p>“I’ll do my best,” I said. </p><p>We kissed one last time before Ahobri took the elevator up to start her night. </p><p>
  <b>II</b>
</p><p>I was so happy to finally be able to talk with Ahobri, but Jukhara’s attitude made me nervous. </p><p>She didn’t trust me anymore, but she liked the money. That was not a good place to be with her. </p><p>Jukhara had called me out. I hadn’t spent one second thinking about how Jenna might feel if she knew that she had spent the night fucking Kylo Ren. </p><p>These thoughts occupied me, as I sailed through the traffic leaving Artrix and drifted into open space. </p><p>I didn’t think about Ren the way most people did. He was flesh and blood - just another man. I hadn’t thought that someone else might feel differently about him.</p><p>That’s why Jukhara wasn’t connecting me with the Hutts. She knew I acted quickly, jumping on whatever opportunity came my way. Jukhara had survived for so long because she knew how to  play the long game. </p><p>I took a moment with my controls, checking the stats on the fuel injector and hyperdrive pressure. </p><p>The readouts were normal. My ship would start complaining again if I went off on four more hyperspace jumps, but it should get me to Ymir’s estate no problem. I could make repairs when I got there.</p><p>I pulled up my comms, checking my messages. </p><p>Vin had gotten back to me. My heart skipped a beat. </p><p>[Got your message. Call me.]</p><p>Fuck, that was not good. </p><p>I sat in my seat, the occasional ship passing me by while I idled. I needed to call Ymir and let him know I reached a dead-end with the Hutts. I already knew my conversation with Vin was shot. </p><p>I decided to call Ymir first, before I got any more upsetting news. </p><p>He answered right away. </p><p>“I only have a moment to talk,” he said. It looked like he was in one of his ships. </p><p>“That’s fine, there’s not much to tell,” I replied, “My contact fell through. I’ll have to find another way in with the Hutts.”</p><p>“I’m glad you pursued the opportunity,” Ymir said, “Is there any other news with your assignment?”</p><p>“That’s all,” I replied, “I was going to set course for the estate. I should be there in eight or ten hours. I haven’t done the hyperspace calculations.”</p><p>“I want you to meet me at the Finalizer,” Ymir said, “I’ll send you their coordinates after the call. They aren’t on Starkiller Base.”</p><p>The fucking Finalizer. What was Ymir thinking? </p><p>“Yeah, sure thing,” I said. </p><p>“I’ll see you there. Finish your report while you’re in hyperspace,” he said and ended the call. </p><p>This day just kept getting better and better. </p><p>I pulled up Vin’s message. A few moments later, there was a ping as I got the coordinates for the Finalizer. </p><p>They had travelled deep into the Mid-Rim, a few sectors from the border of the New Republic.  </p><p>Ymir had something up his sleeve. </p><p>I saved the coordinates and pulled up Vin’s line on my comms. I hesitated for just a moment before calling him. </p><p>Vin answered this time.</p><p>“Siobhan,” he said. I could tell that he was trying to be casual, but his voice was too cold.</p><p>He was always warm, so any distance or anger stood out. </p><p>I tried to play it off, “I was calling about a job,” I said, friendly and easygoing. </p><p>“We’re not doing business together anymore,” Vin said, “You lied to me.”</p><p>His round features were drawn in. His eyes were tired. </p><p>I needed to find out if he had taken his information to the Resistance. </p><p>“What are you talking about?” I asked, sounding concerned and surprised at the accusation. </p><p>“Fuck you, Siobhan,” Vin spat, then he paused and I saw fear in his eyes. </p><p>“Look, Vin, just talk to me, what’s going on?” I asked, keeping up the innocent act. </p><p>“I know who your employer is,” Vin said, and I heard the sadness in his voice. </p><p>Immediately, my thoughts jumped to Priya, his wife, the mother of our tiny smuggling crew. She was worried I had gotten myself into trouble and had offered to put me up, to help me. </p><p>Vin was covering his bases. He must have prepared this, “I haven’t told anyone what I know,” he began, “You’re involved in some evil shit and I don’t want to bring it down on my family,” Despite his fear, there was venom in his voice, “I’m not going to say a word to anyone, but I never want to hear from you again.” </p><p>I hadn’t expected his response. This whole time I had worried that he would tell the Resistance about my true affiliation. He was trying to make sure I didn’t bring the First Order down on him, his wife, and kids. That wasn’t ever an option. I didn’t want to see them get hurt.</p><p>“I would never do anything to hurt your family,” I said, hoping that he believed me.</p><p>“I just never thought you were capable of something like this,” Vin said, and for a moment, it sounded like he was fighting tears, “Just leave me and my family alone.”</p><p>“I will Vin,” I said, “You have my word.”</p><p>The line went dead. </p><p>Silence filled the cockpit. </p><p>Tears began rolling down my cheeks. </p><p>Jukhara was right. I didn’t think things through, and I wound up hurting the people I cared about. </p><p>I had lost Vin. </p><p>It had always been a possibility. The bad feeling had dogged me for over a week, but expecting trouble didn’t take the sting out.</p><p>Vin thought that I would send the First Order after him if he told anyone. I’d never let anyone hurt him or his family. Never. But why would he believe that? Why would he trust me?</p><p>Wiping stray tears from my eyes, I got to work on my hyperspace coordinates. It wasn’t going to be a long trip, only another four hour jump. </p><p>I needed to pull myself together. There had been too much heartbreak, too many tears. </p><p>I pushed the lever forward and entered hyperspace. </p><p>***</p><p>Ymir and Ren weren’t going to see me looking like I had spent the whole time crying. </p><p>I left the cockpit and marched myself down to the cargo bay. On the cold metal floors, I moved through physical exercises, feeling the sadness loosen its grip on my heart. </p><p>I had lost Vin. </p><p>Jukhara was skeptical of me in this new role. She didn’t know how she should treat me now that I had real power. </p><p>That was why Vin was afraid. If he got on my bad side, he knew there was an army behind me. </p><p>I had power. </p><p>With Dax and Arjun, I was playing a role, showing them what they expected, what they wanted to see. </p><p>I was so much more than that now. I left the cockpit, retrieved the kit bag full of credits, and stashed it in the ceiling panels. Then I worked out in my cargo bay until I was heaving for breath; the muscles in my arms and legs were tired and sore. </p><p>After I exhausted myself, I took a cross-legged seat, hands planted on my knees. </p><p>My heart pumped strong in my chest, ticking against my ribs. </p><p>I relaxed into my breath, the deep pulls expanding my belly. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> for the Darkside. </p><p>The void was waiting, ever-present, always hungry. I <i>reached</i> into the keening darkness.</p><p>I hated what I had done on Otomok. Everything had seemed fine while it was a plan. I let myself get caught up in the possibility, caught up in the lies. </p><p>It wasn’t real for me until I heard the blaster shots and the responding cries of pain and fear. I could feel the people trapped in their escape tunnels - corralled for the stormtroopers that followed them. </p><p>The freedom fighter’s screams filled my mind, and I let them flow through me and into the void. </p><p>My father was a hero for the Rebellion, liberating people from the Empire’s labor camps. Now I was serving as Ymir’s arm, wreaking destruction across the Galaxy. </p><p>Vin didn’t want anything to do with me, but he wasn’t going to try to fight. He was too scared. </p><p>After Otomok, I ran from my anger and fear, keeping myself distracted. I had been fighting myself, I had nothing left when I actually tried to engage with Ymir. </p><p>Ren was right. I never stood a chance of winning. </p><p>I had lashed out like a child and Ymir had shown me mercy, with his hand on my neck and a knee between my shoulderblades. </p><p>Emotion rose in my chest, and another wave of tears threatened to spill over my lids. </p><p>I took a shaky breath, my lower lip trembling. </p><p>I let emotion move through me, into that deep space of power that was both inside my heart and beyond my body. </p><p>In response, there was a low rumbling - ancient words, spoken too slowly to be able to understand, but strong enough to feel.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>You can have this. </p>
</blockquote><p>I said, gathering myself.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>I’ll give you everything. My doubt. My pain. My fear.</p>
</blockquote><p>I remembered my time on Korriban, etching the hatch marks into my skin. Blood, ink, and metal. </p><p>It hurt so much, but I had refused to give up. I refused for Ymir to find me broken. </p><p>The marks were an offering, a sacrifice. </p><p>This was what the Darkside wanted from me. I felt a deep, echoing growl rise up. </p><p>The mission to Otomok was a success. They had never suspected anything from us. We had gained their trust and then turned them in. </p><p>Arjun had bought into my deal. The possibility of hundreds of thousands of credits coming his way outweighed his doubts. Jukhara might be upset that I went behind her back, but she signed a contract with the First Order anyways. </p><p>This could be the start of something big, something real. I had almost thrown it all away, starting a fight with Ymir when I was strung out and unprepared.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>I’ll do it. I’ll serve at Ymir’s side. </p>
  <p>I’ll feed you blood and death, but I want to be stronger. </p>
  <p>I want to be strong enough to kill him.</p>
</blockquote><p>I expanded my awareness, <i>reaching</i> inside of myself, finding all the raw and wounded places, and I allowed them to drift from me and towards the Darkside. </p><p>On Korriban, the grassland haunted me with images of my father. As I was faced with him day after day, I realized that the story I had told myself was a lie. My father was a hero and I was a Sith. </p><p>For a brief moment, I understood how Ren must feel. He gave up his name, gave up the face of Ben Solo to pursue his calling towards the Darkside. </p><p>I heard a toothy shriek echo around me.</p><p>I wasn’t driven by conquest. I didn’t want to sit on a throne, but I wanted strength. I wanted to live without answering to others. </p><p>For a lowborn girl from Tevel, it was enough. </p><p>On the cold metal floors of my cargo bay, I sat, eyes closed, chest rising and falling with my breath. </p><p>I surrendered myself to the Darkside. </p><p>
  <b>III</b>
</p><p>The hyperspace alarm brought me back to reality. </p><p>I startled, eyes blinking open, head shaking side to side. </p><p>I had forgotten everything: my body, my mind, where I was. </p><p>My first movements were confused and awkward. My legs were numb and I had to use my hands to help myself up. </p><p>Had it really been four hours?</p><p>I squeezed my legs with my hands and wiggled my toes inside my boots. I rolled my neck and stretched my arms over my head. </p><p>For the first time in weeks, my heart felt sturdy and calm. </p><p>Black spots surged across my vision as I got to my feet. I stood still for a moment until they faded. I needed to get ready to arrive on the Finalizer. </p><p>I had one of the heads of the Smuggler’s Alliance under my sway. It had been a successful mission. </p><p>I made myself caffeine and changed into a fresh set of clothes - plain, utility stuff with my olive jacket on top. I secured my lightsabers around my waist. </p><p>Inside the cockpit, there was another high-pitched alert beeping at me. Several lights were blinking red. The fuel injector was acting up again, even on this short trip. The pressure readout was too high as the drive engine worked overtime. </p><p>It looked like Rosie was in need of some love and attention. </p><p>I patted the dash, “Just hold on. I’ll get you taken care of,” I said. </p><p>The small chorus of beeping alarms and red lights kept me company as I emerged from hyperspace. </p><p>The Finalizer loomed on my horizon, floating in empty space. </p><p>This wasn’t the victorious entrance I wanted to have, but hopefully I could make it aboard without anything else going seriously wrong. </p><p>Half the beeping died down when I left hyperspace. I hit the dash with my fist a couple of times to silence the rest of it. </p><p>I contacted the bridge to find out which hangar they wanted me in. </p><p>A lieutenant pointed me to Hangar One and I put Rosie down next to Ymir’s sleek diplomatic cruiser. </p><p>Hux and Tasha were waiting for me, with a couple of officers I didn’t know and a unit of stormtroopers. </p><p>Why the fuck was Tasha here?</p><p>I exited my ship to an official military salute and Hux stepped forward to greet me. </p><p>“Madam Siniang, welcome aboard The Finalizer,” he said with an eager smile and a warm handshake. </p><p>“Yeah, thanks,” I replied. </p><p>“Lord Ymir has been informed of your arrival. He’ll be meeting with you in an hour.”</p><p>Well, I’d be getting the fun part of the day over and done. </p><p>“Madam, I’ll be preparing you for the meeting,” Tasha said, stepping forward, “Lord Ymir wanted to review your mission report.”</p><p>I hadn’t touched the report. My meditations had gone on much longer than I expected. </p><p>“It’s still on my tablet,” I turned towards my ship. I had left everything on board except for my lightsabers. </p><p>“We’ll take care of it for you, madam,” Tasha said with a polite inclination of her head. </p><p>“How was your mission?” Hux asked, clearly wanting to take the lead in the conversation. </p><p>“I bagged Arjun,” I replied with a grin, “I’ll be heading out in a couple of days to finish the deal.”</p><p>“You must tell me how you’re doing this,” Hux said, “The Smuggler’s Alliance has been a thorn in our side this past year. Admiral Cavender says dealing with them is like plugging holes in a dam.”</p><p>I made a smug little smile - now I had Hux wanting my attention, “I’m sure we’ll get to talk after my meeting.”</p><p>“Right,” Hux said smartly, drawing himself up, “I’ll take you to your quarters so you can prepare.”</p><p>Tasha and I followed Hux through the ship’s spotless black metal hallways and elevators. </p><p>“So what have you been doing? I thought the Finalizer was overseeing construction of the Base,” I asked. </p><p>He was thrilled to answer a question from me, “Kylo Ren and his Knights are undertaking an assignment against Hosnian Prime. Are you going to be on that mission?”</p><p>I shrugged, “I don’t know anything about it, but maybe that’s what Ymir wants me for.”</p><p>Was Ymir really going to put me on a mission with Ren?</p><p>Hux took us to Officer’s Row, only a couple floors away from the bridge. </p><p>“Lord Ymir’s quarters are at the end of the hall,” Hux said as we arrived at my door. I recognized this hall, Ren’s quarters were on the same row.</p><p>Hux dismissed himself with a polite military bow. Tasha escorted me inside. </p><p>The rooms reminded me of Ren’s, but smaller. We entered a sitting room, complete with First Order banners, a liquor cabinet, leather sofas, and chairs. We strode through a door into a bedroom - a large bay window was set into the far wall, giving me a view of dark space and the occasional TIE fighter on patrol. </p><p>Tasha called for another attendant to retrieve my belongings and tablet from Rosie. </p><p>I was given instructions to shower so she could get me ready for a formal meeting. </p><p>When I came out, she had my tablet, and I sent the report to Ymir. </p><p>“Any idea what this meeting is about?” I asked Tasha as she began drying and combing my hair. </p><p>“All I know is that Lord Ymir is about to begin a mission as well,” she replied, “Separate from Kylo Ren’s assignment.”</p><p>I guess I’d just have to find out when he told me. </p><p>I liked the thought of doing a mission with Ymir. He hadn’t brought me with him for any real work, just a boring council meeting. </p><p>Tasha had me in my official robes - wrapped in black from neck to feet, a half-cloak lined in burgundy draped around my shoulders, my lightsabers on my belt. She worked my hair into an elegant fishtail braid, lined my eyes in black, and put a natural shade of red on my lips. </p><p>When she was done, she escorted me down the hall to Ymir’s quarters. We found him in the sitting room. </p><p>Ymir was hard at work, a holoprojector in front of him, two separate tablets out, and two high ranking officers taking notes. </p><p>“Lin,” he greeted, looking up. </p><p>The two officers stood, making a formal salute as I entered. </p><p>“This is Captain Zajac and Captain Krol,” he introduced, pointing each man out. </p><p>With their standard uniforms, pasty skin, and short hair, I was never going to remember them. </p><p>“This is my acolyte, Lin Siniang.”</p><p>I shook their hands, making eye contact like I meant it. </p><p>“Captains, I’m going to meet with Lin. I’ll call you back in when I’m done.”</p><p>“Yes, Lord Ymir,” the two men echoed and excused themselves. </p><p>I took a seat on the couch across from Ymir while he shut down the holoprojector. When he was done, he looked up at me, taking a comfortable seat. He was dressed in his utility clothes, plain colors. His sleeves were rolled up at the elbow, his green half-cloak draped over the back of the sofa.</p><p>We eyed each other for a moment. I crossed my ankle over my knee. </p><p>“Your report was disappointing,” Ymir began with an arch of his eyebrow, “You didn’t include any of the information about your attempt to make inroads with the Hutts. And, for some reason, your ended report ended with a lurid description of having sex with one of Arjun’s crewmembers.”</p><p>Oh shit. I really had meant to delete that part. </p><p>“Well, you wanted me undercover. Arjun knows me. I have a reputation to maintain,” I replied, with a roguish smile. </p><p>Ymir gave me a silent look for a moment - there was a bit of playfulness in his eyes, but I wasn’t going to get away with irritating him today. </p><p>“Why didn’t you finish your report, Siobhan? You had a direct order from me.”</p><p>“I was meditating,” I answered, thankful that I hadn’t just been drinking and sleeping my way through hyperspace, “I started training on that last leg, and the next thing I knew the ship was giving me the hyperspace alarm.”</p><p>“What were you meditating on?”</p><p>He wasn’t going to let me squirm out of the details now. </p><p>“My commitment to the Darkside,” I answered. </p><p>Now I had Ymir’s attention. He put his hands around his knee, ever so slightly leaning forward, trying to figure out what my game was. </p><p>“I was thinking about what you said in the caves, about power,” I continued, “You’re right. I’ve never had power like this before. It scared me, and I gave that over to the Darkside.”</p><p>“Show me.”</p><p>I balked. </p><p>It was my memory. My exploration. It wasn’t for him. </p><p>“I’m not going to ask you again,” Ymir said, voice growing harder. </p><p>He was going to like what he saw. I didn’t have a reason to hide. My meditation was exactly what Ymir wanted. </p><p>I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, the two of us sinking into the shared space of the Force.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>I’m deep in meditation, floating in the energy of the Darkside, the hungry empty void. </p>
  <p>The screams of the trapped freedom fighters echo in my mind. I hate the person I’ve become. </p>
  <p>Beneath me, the Darkside keens. It wants more. </p>
  <p>I allow my doubt and guilt to flow through me, drifting into the darkness. I feed it my fear and pain. </p>
</blockquote><p>It was enough to satisfy Ymir. </p><p>He <i>pulled</i> away, opening his eyes, “That’s very good, Siobhan.”</p><p>A little thrill ran along my spine, responding to his approval. </p><p>Ymir leaned back in his seat, “We need to discuss the next stages of your assignment,” Ymir continued, “I understand you’ll be finishing the deal with Arjun. Who is going to be your next target in the Smuggler’s Alliance?”</p><p>“I’m not sure yet,” I answered, “I’m not close with Verza or Eldo. Matthias is an asshole who likes to have the upper hand on everyone. I might see if Tynne will have a sit-down, but I helped the Resistance steal one of his weapon payloads, so I can’t imagine he’s too sweet on me.”</p><p>“And what about the Hutts?” Ymir asked. </p><p>“Well, my contact didn’t want to make an introduction without more information. So I can come up with a lie, or explore a different contact.”</p><p>“It sounds like you’re stuck,” Ymir said - a small jab. </p><p>I shook my head, “I don’t think so,” I said, “I’ll talk with Arjun again, and see if he can connect me with anyone else in the Smuggler’s Alliance. And the good thing about the Hutts is that their families are enormous - I was trying to get in with the Uhdeas, but I can always try the Haaks or one of the other branches.”</p><p>“Then I look forward to seeing your progress,” Ymir said, “While you’re in-between assignments, you’ll be officially stationed on the Finalizer, until further notice.”</p><p>I heard the words, but I didn’t understand. </p><p>“What?” I asked, trying my best to stay composed. </p><p>“You’ll be travelling frequently for these meetings and deals,” Ymir repeated, talking slowly and carefully, “But when you aren’t travelling on your various assignments, you’ll be stationed on the Finalizer.”</p><p>“How’s that a good idea?” I asked sharply, before I could stop myself. </p><p>“You’re a military operative, Siobhan,” Ymir replied, keeping his cool. He had anticipated my reaction, “I have many different plans that I am executing across the Galaxy, and I need my acolytes together.”</p><p>“And you don’t trust me,” I shot back, my temper flaring.  </p><p>“That’s correct,” Ymir replied easily, “After your little stunt with Raj. I want you where I can keep an eye on you.”</p><p>At least he was being honest. My aura was cloaked, so he couldn’t observe me the same way he could other people. </p><p>“Then station me on Kotrea,” I said, pushing the argument, “You’re there. Ekene’s there. If you want to keep me under lock and key, your place is just as good as a Star Destroyer.”</p><p>“It’s not up for discussion,” Ymir said, his voice firm, “Now that Starkiller Base is under construction, there is too much work for me to be living on Kotrea. I’ll be travelling just as much as you and Kylo Ren.”</p><p>“So how’s he taking the news?” I said, settling into the sofa, crossing my arms over my chest, “Last time I saw him, he wanted to kill me.”</p><p>“I’ve spoken with Kylo Ren and set the expectations for his behavior. Now I’m doing the same with you,” Ymir said, mouth pursing. </p><p>He paused and took in a breath, “Siobhan, I am leaving the Finalizer in three hours to go to Coyerti, where I’ll be having a clandestine meeting with the highest ranking members of their military to foster a coup and reclaim the Ado sector for the First Order.”</p><p>I sat still, wondering where he was going with this. </p><p>“But right now, instead of working on my mission, I’m here on the Finalizer sorting out a romantic disagreement,” Ymir said, a sarcastic edge to his voice, “I have much more important business to be attending to, and yet here we are having this conversation.”</p><p>“Ren was the one who made it a problem,” I sneered defensively. </p><p>“And I’ve spoken with him,” Ymir said, “We need to present a united front. I refuse to have that impacted by your personal squabbles.”</p><p>Gods, I wanted to keep arguing. </p><p>This was a terrible idea. Ren was going to start a fight with me. It was unavoidable. The memory of almost killing him was my only comfort. </p><p>“So, we’ll be working together?” I said, wanting to know what was expected of me. </p><p>“You’re still on your assignment. I’m keeping your work separate for now.”</p><p>“And what’s the chain of command? Is Ren giving me orders?”</p><p>“I’m the chain of command,” Ymir said, starting to get angry, “Your orders come from me. If you have a disagreement related to your responsibilities, you contact me. But keep in mind, my patience is running very thin. With both of you.”</p><p>I was not standing on solid ground. It would only hurt me if I kept fighting. </p><p>“I understand.”</p><p>“Good,” Ymir said, lips pressed together, “Tasha will be your attendant while you’re aboard. She’s prepared your quarters and has all of your clothes and belongings.”</p><p>Fuck, that’s why she was here. This was my new home. </p><p>“Let’s get you up to speed with the work on the Finalizer,” he continued, “Kylo Ren is about to undertake a very important and sensitive mission against Hosnian Prime. We’ve discovered a large Resistance cell in several of their largest cities. Chancellor Bele has denied their existence in every public forum. Ren and his Knights will identify and destroy this Resistance cell.”</p><p>“And you’ll hang the Chancellor out to dry?” I quipped. </p><p>Ymir flashed a thin-lipped smile, “Exactly. We can put political pressure on the New Republic for harboring terrorists.”</p><p>Which would keep them distracted while the First Order ramped up shipments of supplies to Starkiller Base. </p><p>“As you make more progress in clearing out criminal organizations from our hyperspace routes, I want to begin moving our ships into the territory, claiming the sectors for ourselves. This will be a slow and delicate process. I’ll need you to coordinate with Vice Admiral Hux and Kylo Ren to provide guidance, so our troops can move in with minimal alarm in the sector.”</p><p>“Sure thing, boss,” I said. </p><p>Ymir arched his eyebrow again before picking up his tablet and typing something.</p><p>Jukhara was right to be skeptical of my plans. Ymir was a fucking mastermind, orchestrating events to bend the Galaxy to his will. </p><p>“Kylo Ren will be here in a few moments. I’ll speak with both of you, then I expect this matter to be settled.”</p><p>Good fucking luck with that. Ren was the type to hold a grudge, and I wasn’t in the mood to make nice with him for being a jealous asshole. </p><p>“How about you take me with you on your mission?” I suggested. </p><p>Ymir fought a smile, “What’s your familiarity with Coyerti political history?” </p><p>“I’ll read on the way.”</p><p>Ymir made a genuine laugh, and when he looked at me, his eyes were kind, “You’ll stay on the Finalizer until the next leg of your assignment. You said you were committed to me, to the First Order. This is part of it.”</p><p>I did not want to be stuck on a Star Destroyer with Ren. I did not trust that he would be able to keep it together. He had too much anger and pride. </p><p>The door to the sitting room slid open, and I heard his heavy boots on the polished metal floors. </p><p>“Lord Ymir,” Ren said, his voice gravelly through the audio feed of his mask. </p><p>“Come in, take a seat,” Ymir said, indicating the sofa I was on. </p><p>I kept my gaze ahead of me, focused on Ymir. </p><p>Ren’s energy loomed at the edge of my awareness, crackling with barely subdued anger. </p><p>He took a seat on the leather cushion, keeping as much distance between us as possible. </p><p>“Kylo Ren, Siobhan is now officially appointed to the Finalizer. We’ve discussed her responsibilities, the chain of command, and expectations for her behavior.”</p><p>Ren was as still and silent as a shadow. </p><p>“I don’t care about your personal feelings, either of you,” Ymir continued, “We have a very favorable narrative right now. Our allies understand that I have two acolytes, the beginning of a new Sith Empire. Your work has been exemplary, and I won’t have that ruined by in-fighting. Do you understand?”</p><p>“Yes, Lord Ymir,” Ren said, with a stiff inclination of his head. </p><p>“Yeah, I understand,” I replied. </p><p>Ymir fixed me with a heavy look and waited. </p><p>“Yes… Lord Ymir,” I finally said. </p><p>I wanted Ren to know he couldn’t fuck with me. Having Ymir call me out did not help my position. </p><p>“You’re both dismissed. I’ll be leaving for Coyerti in two hours,” Ymir said. </p><p>We stood. I left Ymir’s quarters behind Ren. </p><p>Outside, in the hallway, I expected Ren to take a potshot at me, but he just strode off towards the elevator without turning his head. </p><p>I watched him go, his cloak flapping behind him. </p><p>Maybe this would work. There was a chance his obedience to Ymir would override his need to control me. Only time would tell. </p><p>
  <b>IV</b>
</p><p>I stopped by my quarters, but I was not in the mood to just sit around. </p><p>Rosie needed maintenance, and I only had a couple of days until I needed to meet with Arjun. </p><p>I returned to the hangar, feeling everyone’s eyes on me as I strode through the hallways in my black robes, looking just as formal and shadowy as Ren did. </p><p>I wondered what they whispered about me. Had Ymir quashed the rumors that I was a Resistance captive, the sole survivor from the Vangelis? </p><p>It really hadn’t been that long, less than a year. </p><p>There had to be people who remembered that I had seduced Ren, that he had brought me to his quarters instead of throwing me in the brig. </p><p>The memory brought a wicked little smile to my face. </p><p>Once aboard Rosie, I shucked off my outer layers in the cargo bay, tossing the half-cloak and robes over a supply crate. I grabbed my toolkit and got to work on the hyperdrive. </p><p>The first problem was finding the fuel injector. </p><p>Rosie didn’t have a manual, and all of her maintenance had been done by an Outer Rim scrapper.<br/>
The interior of the ship was a nightmare of tangled wires and shoddy workmanship. </p><p>I knew I should be able to access the hyperdrive from the inside. I asked a mechanic for a ladder and a more comprehensive toolbox, then began digging around in the ceiling panels, trying to follow the fuel lines to the injector.  </p><p>The previous owner was a shit engineer. The parts were substandard, I was used to that, but I found dozens of installation flaws. Pieces were put in backwards. Machinery was welded together badly. </p><p>What had looked like a straightforward problem with the hyperdrive expanded into a cluster of problems that all needed to be fixed. </p><p>It was a miracle that Rosie had managed to go this long without any serious issues. </p><p>I was standing on top of a ladder, waist deep in my ship, when I heard activity in the hangar. </p><p>Ymir must be heading out. </p><p>I freed myself from the ceiling panels. I ran a rag down my face and black undershirt and tucked it into my back pocket before walking down the cargo bay ramp. </p><p>Ymir was leaving. He was shaking hands with Hux and the two captains I had seen earlier. </p><p>Ren stood off to the side, stiff in his hood and mask. </p><p>My face and arms were smudged with grit and grease from working on my ship. Strands of hair were falling out of my braid. </p><p>I caught his eye and waved at him.</p><p>“Get a new ship,” Ymir called out, waving back at me. </p><p>“She’s still got some life in her,” I replied with a grin and a wink. </p><p>Ymir boarded his gorgeous silver cruiser. </p><p>Ren turned on his heel, leaving the hangar with purposeful strides and a dramatic spin of his cloak. </p><p>Hux stayed behind, eyeing my ship. </p><p>“You know. I’ve heard about this ship, but I haven’t seen her until today,” Hux said, crossing his arms, an unusually playful expression on his face. </p><p>Hux really wasn’t bad-looking. He was tall, with a strong jawline and high cheekbones. He wore a uniform well. </p><p>It was just that he was such an over-eager bootlicker. </p><p>I returned his smile, cocking my hip to the side, “Her name’s Rosie,” I said, “I used her for the mission on Otomok. No one thinks this is the ship of a First Order spy.”</p><p>“I can’t imagine they would,” Hux said, “What are you working on?”</p><p>“I thought it was just a simple repair to the fuel injector,” I said pushing my hair back, “But the previous owner was a shitty mechanic. I think I’ve got a full day’s work ahead of me.”</p><p>Hux made a sympathetic frown, “Any of our mechanics aboard could certainly fix this for you…”</p><p>“Yeah, I know, but I can’t afford to have anything on this ship that could give me away. I had to transport this fucking awful smuggler during my assignment. One thing out of place would have blown my cover.”</p><p>Hux was nodding. We had never had a conversation this casual before. </p><p>“Y’know,” I said, a glint in my eye, “You wanted to have a drink on Starkiller Base, and that never happened.”</p><p>I enjoyed watching a tinge of pink creeping up Hux’s neck. I could see his mind racing.</p><p>“You got anywhere to be right now?” I asked. </p><p>“Um… no. I’d like to have a drink with you,” Hux stammered, “I’ll let Captain Zajac know I’m off-duty.”</p><p>“I’ll go freshen up,” I said with a disarming smile, “You can meet me in my quarters.”</p><p>“Uh… yes… thank you,” Hux said, clearly embarrassed by his nervousness.  </p><p>He strode off, arms folded behind his back. I fought the urge to laugh. </p><p>I grabbed the discarded layers of my robes and went back to my quarters.</p><p>***</p><p>Tasha was waiting for me in my bedroom. </p><p>“I’m having Hux up for a drink,” I told her, dropping my robes over the back of a chair, “I’m going to rinse off first. Could you lay something out for me?”</p><p>“Of course, madam,” Tasha said with a polite bow. </p><p>I scrubbed the dark spots of grease off my face and arms, then combed out my hair, letting it fall loose around my shoulders. </p><p>When I returned to my room, Tasha had laid out a simple, floor-length, olive green dress with a sleeveless, elegantly tailored black robe and simple silver jewelry. I would not be showing off any leg or cleavage. I wondered if Ymir had given her instructions on what I should wear now that I was stationed on a military ship. </p><p>I pulled on the clothes and jewelry and entered my sitting room. </p><p>Hux was in a chair, a heavy bottomed glass of whiskey in his gloved hand. His military cap rested on the low table; his hair was slicked back, not a strand out of place. </p><p>“Madam Siniang,” he said, rising to his feet. </p><p>Tasha had taken a seat on the couch. </p><p>“You should call me Lin,” I said with a smile, sinking into the chair across from him. </p><p>Hux sat back down. I glanced at his whiskey. </p><p>“I’ll join you,” I said.</p><p>Tasha got to her feet and poured me a glass. </p><p>“Is there anything else you need, madam?” she asked. </p><p>“No. Thanks, Tasha,” I said, dismissing her. </p><p>She left my quarters, leaving Hux and me alone. </p><p>“Are you going to be taking part in Kylo Ren’s mission against Hosnian Prime?” Hux asked, tilting forward. </p><p>I shook my head and took a sip of my drink, “Not this time. Ymir wants me back out there clearing the riff-raff off our supply lines,” I said, “Is the Finalizer going to see some action?”  </p><p>Hux also shook his head, “I’ll be overseeing operations here while Kylo Ren and his Knights are out. If they need us, it means something went terribly wrong.”</p><p>“Y’know, I’ve never met the Knights of Ren. Have you?”</p><p>I decided to open up to Hux, just a little bit. I wanted to see what he would do with the attention. </p><p>His brows drew together and he took a sip of his drink, “I believe I’ve met all of them, separately. It’s hard to tell them apart. They all wear masks, too. All six of them will be here for this mission.”</p><p>I remembered the two young men in the memory - the teenagers from the ruins of the Jedi Academy, Adram and Yuri. I wanted to meet them. I wanted to talk to these people who had followed Ren for all these years. </p><p>“Well, Hosnian Prime won’t know what hit them, that’s for sure,” I said, holding out my glass for Hux to toast. </p><p>He leaned forward, and our glasses clinked against each other. </p><p>“And I don’t know anything about you,” I said, “We always seem to catch each other in passing.”</p><p>I watched Hux’s chest puff up, and a pink tinge creep up from under his collar. </p><p>“What do you want to know?” he asked, trying to be charming. </p><p>“Oh, whatever you want to share,” I said, swirling the whiskey in my glass. </p><p>He loved that I asked him to talk about himself. He began with his own background. This was just what I remembered from our time at Snoke’s palace. If I made the barest signs of interest, he could talk for hours. </p><p>As he talked, I learned that Hux had gone to the same military academy as Ymir. I was impressed that I remembered its name. That was where all the posh manners and formalities came from. </p><p>After hearing about how he grew up and joined the military, I was told his most well-tuned war stories - the ones that were surefire hits at state events. </p><p>I filled our glasses twice more while he talked. </p><p>Eventually, Hux realized that he should show interest in me. </p><p>“Lord Ymir has told me a little bit about you,” Hux said, “I just learned that you’ve been a spy for quite some time, infiltrating the Resistance and other criminal networks.”</p><p>I took a coy sip of my drink, “That’s right. I don’t have the same high profile as Ren.”</p><p>“You just seem to be able to get a foothold where no one else can,” Hux said, trying flattery, “I’m curious about you. Where are you from? Where did you grow up?”</p><p>I laughed, “I grew up on Tevel, in the Outer Rim, one system over from where Phasma was.”</p><p>Hux’s expression drew in as he processed the information. There was no way he knew about Tevel. Not knowing about the planet told him everything. </p><p>“The Outer Rim certainly makes strong fighters,” was all he could think to say. </p><p>“It’s either fight or die out there,” I said with a roguish wink. </p><p>The conversation moved on, and I poured us another round. </p><p>We talked about Starkiller Base - Hux was proud to be directly involved in the project. </p><p>He liked to talk. He liked to gossip. That kind of person was always helpful to have around. </p><p>I was feeling the alcohol. My body was relaxed. I felt warm and confident. </p><p>Hux and I were in our separate chairs. I watched the way he leaned in close when he was excited. </p><p>It would be nothing to fuck him. All I had to do was make a move, and he’d be mine. A part of me was interested - at worst it would be fun to piss Ren off, sleeping with his second in command. </p><p>Purposefully fucking Hux just to make Ren mad seemed like a dumb move, though. I needed to be better than that.</p><p>I decided to leave it up to fate. We were drinking whiskey alone in my quarters. If Hux worked up the courage to make a move, I’d fuck him - if not, I’d both go to bed alone. </p><p>The moment never happened. </p><p>There were a couple times where he almost reached out to touch my arm, but he hesitated each time.</p><p>I was a Sith, the protege of Ymir. I had two lightsabers on my belt and a large scar on my face. He didn’t want to risk making me angry. </p><p>We downed a final drink and I walked him out. </p><p>“It was very nice to have a drink with you,” Hux said, cheeks rosy from the alcohol. </p><p>He met my eyes. His were brilliantly green and glassy. </p><p>“Yeah, I’ll catch you around,” I said with a wink, and closed the door. </p><p>***</p><p>I dropped my clothes on the floor, leaving a trail to my bed. </p><p>I stared at the flat rectangle of mattress in the cold metal room. </p><p>The fucking Finalizer. My new home. </p><p>For the briefest moment, I thought about <i>reaching</i> out to Ren, then decided against it. </p><p>Ignoring each other was the best strategy. </p><p>There was at least a day’s worth of work I needed to put into Rosie, then I’d be shipping off to Arjun. Ren was about to go on some big important mission. </p><p>I’d only be here for a day or two. </p><p>I flopped face first onto the bed, naked and spread eagled. The alcohol was working its way through me, making my thoughts fuzzy. </p><p>It was a real incentive to keep momentum on my mission. The more time I spent out in the Galaxy, the less I’d be here. </p><p>I rolled onto my back, cradling my head in my hands. I closed my eyes.</p><p>I wanted a place of my own. </p><p>There were twelve thousand credits, cash, sitting on my ship. It was more money than I had ever had. More money than I had ever made. </p><p>Ren had this massive Star Destroyer. He had his Knights. </p><p>I wanted something of my own. </p><p>My whole life, all I had ever done was float from one gig to the next, never holding onto anything, never putting down roots. </p><p>I thought about Ahobri. I wanted her at my side. I needed her. </p><p>We could start a house of our own, have our own crew. </p><p>With these thoughts swirling in my head, I drifted off to sleep. </p><p>
  <b>V</b>
</p><p>My dreams were filled with the sounds of scared people running, crying out for help. </p><p>I was in the tunnels of Otomok. It was pitch black inside. I ran, trying to find the freedom fighters, trying to help them. Screams and blaster fire echoed in the distance. </p><p>“I’m coming!” I yelled. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> through the tunnels. I didn’t have to rely on my vision. I could use the Force. </p><p>As I connected with my power, I couldn’t feel the freedom fighters. </p><p>All I felt was hunger. </p><p>The Darkside wanted them to suffer. It wanted their lives. </p><p>I saw Ren in front of me, with blood splashed across his face and his red lightsaber crackling in his hand. He wore his dark robes and cloak. </p><p>“Please! Help me save them!” I cried. </p><p>“No,” he said, turning away. </p><p>I could hear the freedom fighter’s screams and the sound of the armored shoes of stormtroopers on stone floors. </p><p>From beneath me void growled, a gnashing animal sound. It wasn’t going to help me. </p><p>I ran, tears streaming down my face. If I could follow their screams I could find them. I could save them on my own.  </p><p>The darkness stretched on in all directions. </p><p>I ran until my breath heaved in my chest, muscles burning. </p><p>I ran until the screams gave way to silence. </p><p>***</p><p>Tasha woke me by raising the lights.</p><p>Reluctantly, I pushed myself upright, bringing a hand to my forehead. </p><p>“Madam?” Tasha said, moving to my side. </p><p>“Hey, Tasha,” I replied with a groan. </p><p>My skin felt clammy, and my jaw ached. I wiggled it back and forth.</p><p>“Madam, are you feeling alright?” she asked, taking a seat next to me on the bed. </p><p>“It was just a dream,” I said, giving my head a shake, trying to settle my thoughts. </p><p>“There’s a briefing starting in one hour. I sent for breakfast.”</p><p>“Thanks,” I said, moving out of bed. </p><p>I obediently walked to the bathroom to take a shower so Tasha could fix me up for the day. </p><p>Hot water poured over me. I reached a hand out, bracing myself against the wall. </p><p>Bad dreams. </p><p>All those people on Otomok were dead because of me, and all I had were bad dreams.</p><p>My shoulders shook with bitter laughter as water streamed down my face. </p><p>I couldn’t save my father. I chose not to save the freedom fighters. </p><p>When we were on Otomok, I could have called Vin. I could have contacted the Resistance base on D’Qar. </p><p>But I didn’t, because that choice didn’t help me. I decided to serve Ymir, Ekene, and the First Order.</p><p>I took a breath and closed my eyes, sinking into the Force.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>You can have this.</p>
</blockquote><p>I snarled. </p><p>I allowed my uneasy thoughts to move through me, descending into the pit. I’d feed it my doubt and fear until only strength remained. </p><p>***</p><p>When I left the shower, my mind was clear. </p><p>I drank caffeine and ate a meal while Tasha readied me for the briefing. </p><p>“Do they have me on a schedule here? Are there any responsibilities I don’t know about?” I asked. </p><p>“The daily briefings are the only event you’re expected to attend. I was told that your assignments take precedence over the work on this ship.”</p><p>Thank the gods. I wasn’t expected to follow a military schedule. </p><p>“How long have you been on the Finalizer?” I asked, as she worked my hair into a simple knot at the base of my neck, “Did you come in with Ymir?”</p><p>“No, madam. I’ve been here since you left for your mission.”</p><p>“Aw fuck, Tasha. I’m sorry.”</p><p>She had it made on Ymir’s estate, and now she was stuck out here.  </p><p>Tasha pressed her lips together, trying not to smile, “What for?”</p><p>“This ship is awful. Please tell me you’re getting paid double to be here.”</p><p>Tasha had finished with me. For the military briefing, I wasn’t going to be wearing make-up or jewelry, just my dark robes, hair pulled back. </p><p>“I’m paid just fine,” Tasha said, placing a friendly hand on my shoulder. </p><p>“Look, to be honest, I’m trying to spend as little time here as possible. And I don’t want you sitting around, twiddling your thumbs on a warship, when you could be in a mansion planetside, breathing fresh air,” I said, “You have your own room on this ship, right?”</p><p>“Yes, madam,” Tasha replied with a smile. </p><p>***</p><p>I made my way up to the bridge. </p><p>It was bustling with routine activity. Officers sat at consoles along the walls, and in sunken wells along the floor. </p><p>The door to the briefing room was open and officers were slowly trickling in. I could hear the sounds of conversation inside. </p><p>Hux was on the bridge talking with a small group of middling officers, all dressed in sharp black uniforms. </p><p>I could feel Ren nearby, but I didn’t see him anywhere. </p><p>So far so good. </p><p>“Morning,” I said cheerfully, joining Hux. </p><p>“Madam Siniang,” he greeted, his expression brightening. </p><p>“Really, call me Lin,” I said. </p><p>With Ren’s bad attitude, I wanted to make friends on this ship. I wanted to have people on my side here. </p><p>Hux introduced me to the Lieutenants. They were making idle chatter about the day. </p><p>After a few minutes we filed into the briefing room. </p><p>Ren was standing at a console to the side of the briefing stage, talking with the two captains that Ymir had introduced me to yesterday. He didn’t look my way. </p><p>I was at the special table in front of the tiered rows of desks and seating. Hux moved my chair so I could take a seat, then took the one next to me. There was an empty seat for Ren. </p><p>I fought a smile as I remembered my last time here. I was a prisoner of war that Ren had brought up to his room. The next day, Ymir trotted me out to help them take a very well hidden Resistance base. </p><p>Now I was here as an experienced Sith, with several successful missions under my belt. </p><p>Ren was still just as mad at me. Some things hadn’t changed.</p><p>Hux welcomed me at the beginning of the meeting, introducing me as Lin Siniang. I stood up and gave them a brief overview of my assignment. I wondered how many people remembered me, and how many people simply thought I was a different person, with my dark robes and the scar on my face. </p><p>Ren didn’t look my way once. He stood at the side of the briefing stage with the two captains, preparing information. </p><p>The briefing was routine, an hour and a half of troop updates and assignment reviews. They were preparing the ship for Ren and his Knights to be away on their mission against the Resistance cell on Hosnian Prime. </p><p>While the men talked, I had daydreams of starting a house of my own. If I kept raking in five or ten percent off the deals I made, I would be able to get something really nice. Something all my own. I imagined owning the upper floors of a building on Nar Shaddaa or Denon. Shit, I could have a massive ship of my own, moving through the Galaxy like the leaders of the Smuggler’s Alliance. </p><p>Wrapped up in my thoughts, I didn’t even realize the briefing was over until Hux stood up next to me. </p><p>I jumped, turning the twitchy movement into a stretch, twisting in my chair. </p><p>“Well, I should get back to work on my ship,” I said to Hux, lifting my arms over my head. </p><p>“Good luck,” Hux replied with a quick smile, turning to go. He was finally starting to loosen up.</p><p>From across the table came Ren’s voice, “I want to talk to you,” he said, voice low and gravelly through the audiofeed of his mask. </p><p>And things had been going so well. </p><p>Ren was seated at the opposite end of our table, arms planted heavily on the glossy black surface.</p><p>I glanced around the room - it was mostly empty, everyone was filing out onto the bridge. </p><p>“Are you sure?” I said to Ren, staring into his visor, outlined in chrome, “The whole not-talking thing seems to be working out alright.”</p><p>“I felt your dreams,” he said. </p><p>The image flashed in my mind.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Help me save them!</p>
</blockquote><p>“Whatever,” I said, with a scowl and a shrug. </p><p>The room had emptied. We were the only two people left inside. </p><p>“Siobhan, I thought you were pure Darkside, not a shred of doubt in your heart. But it’s all just an act. You cover your aura and hide your weakness, but it’s there.”</p><p>I pushed myself away from the table, my hand moving to the lightsaber on my belt. </p><p>Ren was goading me on purpose, trying to make me act against him in anger. I wasn’t going to fall for it. </p><p>I moved my hand to my hip. I could almost feel Ren smile behind his stupid fucking mask. </p><p>“I need to make repairs on my ship. I’m not going to waste the day bullshitting with you,” I said. </p><p>Ren stood, head and shoulders taller than me, “And I don’t want to keep getting pulled into your dreams,” he shot back, “Come with me. We should train.”</p><p>***</p><p>Reluctantly, I followed Ren off the bridge and into the elevator, standing as far from him as I could in the confined space. </p><p>We exited on our floor, Elite row. </p><p>“Where are we going?” I asked. </p><p>“To my meditation room.”</p><p>We walked past his door and he stopped in front of the next one, punching a code into the console. </p><p>I found myself in a circular room, a hexagonal lighting array set into the ceiling. </p><p>The walls and floors were bare. </p><p>There were two doors, the one we had just entered from the hall, and another leading off to the left. It must connect to Ren’s quarters. </p><p>I entered the space, feeling on guard. </p><p>I wanted to get back in Ymir’s good graces, but if Ren started a fight, I would give him hell.</p><p>The door slid shut, and when I turned around, Ren was staring at me. </p><p>There was so much in that gaze, even behind the mask. I felt his raw emotion, all the hurt. </p><p>A thrill moved through me. I felt exposed, standing in the center of the room with Ren staring at me, only barely managing to contain his anger.</p><p>I kept my hands at my sides, near my lightsabers.  </p><p>“You should be dead,” he finally snarled, “I went down the mountain knowing that Lord Ymir was going to kill you.”</p><p>“Sorry to disappoint,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. </p><p>“He never holds you accountable!” Ren shouted, his voice rasping sharply through the ‘feed, “You lie and fuck up over and over and nothing ever happens!”</p><p>I kept my cool, weathering the storm. </p><p>“I didn’t come here for you to yell at me,” I replied, “I’ll train with you, if that’s what you want. But if you’re just going to be like this, I’ll leave.”</p><p>Ren marched up to me, getting in my face. </p><p>I didn’t flinch. </p><p>I could feel his energy. He wanted to overpower me - force me to the ground - make me listen to him - make me submit to him. </p><p>I decided to open up - to see how he responded to honesty. I lifted some of the hold I had over my aura so he could feel my energy. </p><p>“Ymir left me alive because I’m still useful to him,” I said, making my voice hard.</p><p>Ren stood, not trusting himself to move, his shoulders rising and falling with his breath. </p><p>I kept going, “Ever since our meditation in the caves, I’ve been trying to reconcile the kind of person I am,” I pointed a finger at his chest, “And I know you understand how that feels.”</p><p>Ren took a step back. I folded in the edges of my aura again, not wanting to leave myself open to him. </p><p>“In your dream, you felt just as frightened and angry as you did on Starkiller Base. But you feel different now.” He stepped forward again, “Show me.” </p><p>I knelt on the empty metal floors, resting on my heels. </p><p>Ren sat opposite me, cross-legged. His hood was still pulled up with his mask shrouding his face. </p><p>We met in the shared space of the Force. </p><p>Immediately I could feel his hatred and love for me, tugging at the edge of my awareness like the wind. </p><p>I ignored the sensation and showed Ren a glimpse of my last meditation on Rosie. </p><p>He saw me make the connection between my tattoos on Korriban and surrendering my emotions to the Darkside. I was going to live. I’d feed it the horror of what I had done to the freedom fighters. I would make it a sacrifice to the Darkside. </p><p>My eyes shot open as Ren made a hoarse bark of a laugh. </p><p>“It’s always so easy for you. You can give everything up and keep on moving,” he sneered. I could hear the way his lips twisted behind the mask. </p><p>“Fuck you, Ren.” I spat, rising to my feet. </p><p>He scrambled upright, “Siobhan… that’s not… please, don’t go.”</p><p>I knew I shouldn’t turn around, but I did it anyways. </p><p>“I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. Even after everything you did. I… I just want to be close to you.” </p><p>My body was responding, desire moving in my chest. I stayed right where I was. </p><p>Ren closed the distance between us. His gloved hand grazed the side of my face, leather sliding across my skin. </p><p>I could feel everything, the way his anger tangled with his need for me. I didn’t turn him away. </p><p>“Isn’t this how we first met?” I said, fire in my eyes. </p><p>“I hate how much I want you,” he growled, his hand sliding up through my hair, fingers catching beneath the knot Tasha had made. </p><p>I gasped as he pulled - my scalp stinging, head tilting back. </p><p>“What do you want to do to me?” I sighed, eyes closing peacefully, leaning into his hand. </p><p>“I want to tie you up,” he growled, “I want to hurt you.”</p><p>There was a flutter of fear in my low belly. </p><p>I nodded, his fingers still wrapped in my hair. </p><p>He roughly let me go and I stumbled backwards. </p><p>“Take off your clothes,” he commanded, “Stand in the middle of the room.”</p><p>I did as I was told. </p><p>Ren waited, watching me as I unfastened my belt with my lightsabers, leaving them on the floor along with my other layers of black clothing. </p><p>Before I was done, Ren turned on his heel, striding through the door that led to his quarters. </p><p>I stood naked, waiting in the sparse metal room, bathed in the dim light from the panels in the ceiling. </p><p>A moment later, Ren came back with three coils of rope around his forearm. </p><p>My heart began to beat against my sternum, anticipation making my throat tight. </p><p>His motions were familiar as he wove a harness around my chest and bound my arms behind my back, wrists tied together. </p><p>I was used to him making sure that the rope was secured firmly, but not painful. This time, he pulled the rope tight, biting into my skin. </p><p>“It hurts…” I said, my voice soft.</p><p>“It’s supposed to,” Ren said, through the ‘feed of his mask. </p><p>When he was done with my torso, he pushed me down until I was sitting on my ass, then knelt at my side to bind my legs. </p><p>I twisted my shoulders from side to side, wriggling my hands in their rope cuffs, knowing that I was going to lose circulation sooner rather than later. </p><p>“Stop moving.” </p><p>“It’s too tight,” I said, shifting my arms as much as I could. </p><p>Ren’s hand swung through the air and pain bloomed across the side of my cheek. I cried out, unable to do anything. </p><p>“You can tell me when your hands go numb, and I’ll choose to release you,” he said. His voice was ice cold. </p><p>He created a cage of rope that secured my calf to my thigh, bent at the knee. He pulled the ropes tight, squeezing my skin. </p><p>I expected him to grab at my breasts, play with the barbells in my nipples, to push his fingers inside of me. Instead, I felt strangely ignored as he secured my body into the position he wanted. </p><p>I felt the intensity of his focus as he created knots and patterns, bending me. </p><p>Ren had me kneel on my knees, legs bound. </p><p>“Sit on your toes,” he said, a gloved hand against my back to steady me. </p><p>“What?” I asked. </p><p>Ren’s hand snaked through my hair again, pulling hard. </p><p>“Put your ass on your heels, and sit, balanced on your toes.” His voice was a growl. </p><p>With a whimper, I did what he said, my bodyweight resting on my toes - bent beneath me. </p><p>Pain radiated across my body, travelling from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. </p><p>When I was in position, he tied my bound wrists to the rope that was securing my ankles. </p><p>I was completely exposed, leaning backwards, struggling for balance. </p><p>Ren took a seat across from me, running a hand down my chest and belly, stopping before he reached the hair between my legs. </p><p>He watched me in silent fascination - I could feel the way his gaze took in my ribs and belly expanding as I breathed, the twitches in my legs and arms as pain flowed openly across my nerves. </p><p>The bottoms of my feet strained under my weight and the small shifts as I tried to keep my balance. </p><p>I whimpered and gasped, making micro-adjustments in the tight rope bindings. </p><p>In this position, minutes felt like hours. </p><p>“Ren!” I breathed. </p><p>“What?” his voice was cold. </p><p>“Please. It’s too much.”</p><p>“No, it’s not,” Ren said, “You still have more in you.” </p><p>Fear surged along me, joining the chorus of pain. </p><p>With no hope of relief, I felt my mind drifting into that peaceful place of surrender. </p><p>Each moment, each breath, was separate - my nerves ringing out. </p><p>My hands had gone numb. I twisted my wrists inside the cuffs. </p><p>I began to feel places where the rope was rubbing my skin raw. I knew there would be a pattern of bruises left behind. </p><p>As I gave myself over to pain, I felt Ren <i>reaching</i> for me, lapping at the edges of my awareness. </p><p>Pain gave a beautiful immediacy to every fleeting moment. I heard him sigh as he felt harsh sensations along my skin pushing through my nerves.  </p><p>Each breath I took was a small eternity. My eyes were closed, head tilting back. My arms were tingling beneath the elbow, and my legs were numb below the knee, a woozy electric sensation in the muscles.</p><p>This was our connection point. This was how we joined. </p><p>Ren loved to overwhelm, to hurt, and I loved to surrender to it. </p><p>I could feel him, greedy and powerful. He had captured me. He decided when I would be relieved. He molded me into the shape he wanted.</p><p>“Before you were trained, you used pain to connect to the Darkside. I want to see how you did it,” Ren said. </p><p> I felt him <i>push</i>, taking me down into our connection with the Force. </p><p>That was when he finally decided to take off his mask. </p><p>I heard the hiss and rattle of fasteners, the sound of metal against metal as he set it on the floor. </p><p>My breath was coming more quickly. There was a tremble in my legs and shoulders. My weight was collapsing against my heels. My head swayed. I left myself open to every uncomfortable sensation running along my body.</p><p>This was what I had learned, when I knew nothing about the Force, nothing about my power. I knew that there was something I could connect to when I left myself open to pain.  </p><p>Ren <i>reached</i> into my energy. He wanted to see me break. He was going to push me until nothing was left. </p><p>I managed a sharp exhale of a laugh, hair swaying behind me, sweeping against my arms. </p><p>My body was singing red with pain. There was a jumbled blankness inside my skull.</p><p>I felt my weight shift to the left, and I didn’t have the energy to readjust. </p><p>I was falling towards the cold metal. </p><p>Ren rushed forward, catching me in his arms. </p><p>The world went black. </p><p>“Siobhan?” I heard the urgency in his voice. </p><p>His face was close to mine, hair brushing against my face, our noses almost touching. </p><p>I blinked my eyes open. </p><p>He brushed my cheeks with his hands, suddenly caring and gentle, “Stay with me.”</p><p>I groaned and shifted, returning to my aching body. </p><p>“You were only out for a second. You’ll be fine,” Ren assured me, hands running across my skin. </p><p>He worked quickly to undo the knots. </p><p>I extended my legs slowly and carefully as he freed them. </p><p>I eventually found myself sprawled across the metal floor, my head and shoulders resting in Ren’s lap. </p><p>The only clothing he had removed was his mask. </p><p>He scooped me up into his arms and carried me into his room, gently laying me out on the bed. </p><p>He began to massage me, hands running across my chest, down my arms and legs. </p><p>I was silent. A hollowness was rising inside of me as the physical intensity faded. </p><p>“I don’t love you, Ren,” I said, my voice quiet, my lips grazing the sheets beneath me as I spoke. </p><p>He stopped. I felt a tremor move through his hand. </p><p>I pushed myself up, turning around so I could look at him, “You want to turn this into something it’s not,” I said, “But this doesn’t mean I love you.”</p><p>Ren withdrew his black gloved hand, fingers wrapping into a fist on top of his thigh. He broke eye contact, staring down at the sheets to his side, his mouth twisting down. </p><p>I was too tired to be afraid anymore. If he wanted to fight me, if he wanted to try to really hurt me, I’d push back with everything I had left. </p><p>I moved myself into a seat on the bed, readying myself for whatever was going to come next. </p><p>Ren’s shoulders hunched forward, I saw a quiet tears moving down his cheeks. </p><p>He turned towards me, reaching out his hand to cradle the side of my face. “How can you be so close, but so far away?” he said, his voice choked with emotion. </p><p>I kissed him, my lips soft against his. I didn’t have an answer for him - not one that he would understand. </p><p>He kissed me back, drawing me to him, my chest pressed against his, layers of clothes between us. </p><p>We fumbled together for a moment - a little hesitant and a little awkward. </p><p>I needed something to wash away the experience of being restrained. I needed release. </p><p>Ren needed to feel me in his arms. He had held off his desire for as long as he could. </p><p>I was pulling off his shirt. He was unfastening his belt and unfastening the buttons of his collar. He peeled off his gloves, tossing them away. </p><p>Ren fell on top of me. My legs wrapped around his waist, arms around his shoulders. </p><p>He pushed inside of me, face buried against my shoulder. </p><p>I could feel more tears, but I didn’t say anything. </p><p>I held on tightly, a hand at the back of his head as he thrust, rough and heavy. </p><p>His breath sped up. He wrapped an arm beneath me, pulling me to him. I could feel his teeth against my shoulder, digging into my skin. </p><p>I cried out. </p><p>I didn’t ask him to stop. </p><p>Ren did what he knew how to do. He filled me, laying claim to my body. Trying to make me his, and knowing that he couldn’t.</p><p>He turned me onto all fours, fucking me from behind, large hands grabbing at my breasts, pulling at the barbells in my nipples until I shouted in pain. </p><p>I gripped the sheets, shouting and cursing as I felt his teeth dig into my shoulder and along my upper arm, breaking the skin.</p><p>He wanted to devour me. </p><p>And I loved it. </p><p>I orgasmed over and over again under his deep thrusts. Once with his hands pinning my arms to the bed, another time looking up into his eyes. The last time, I was shouting his name. </p><p>He made himself wait to come, drawing out sensation, bringing himself to the edge. Using me exactly how he wanted. He had his hands planted on my thighs, pinning my legs back, knees touching the bed behind me.</p><p>His orgasm shuddered through him as he sank as deeply as he could go. </p><p>I howled in response as he reached the end of me, his entire weight bearing down on top. </p><p>He was panting, gasping. My name was a whisper on his lips. </p><p>Slowly, he curled over me, staying inside for as long as he could, feeling aftershocks and trembles rolling along my body in response. </p><p>“Will you stay here?” he asked, softly, as he caught his breath. </p><p>I nodded, “Yes.”</p><p>Ren sat upright long enough to pull the blankets on top of us. He wrapped himself around me, chest resting against my back. </p><p>I felt our hearts beating. I felt the differences in our breath, which slowly stretched out and joined together as we fell asleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>We definitely have more Kylo drama coming your way. The next chapter will introduce the Knights of Ren! </p><p>I wanted to give another shoutout to  <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B8CKpI6Df4_/">Rensempress</a> and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B8wTlc5ndfS/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet">Melameme_cosplays</a> for bringing Siobhan to life. </p><p>Never in a million years would I have guessed someone would want to cosplay an OC from a random ao3 fanfic. Thanks so much!!!</p><p>As always, thanks for reading and I love you hear from you in the comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Knights of Ren</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Siobhan is officially stationed on Kylo Ren’s Star Destroyer. They’ve gone from being enemies, to lovers, to enemies once more. Ren knows that he can’t have her, so he’s exerting control however he can.</p><p>Kylo Ren and his Knights were just dispatched against a Resistance cell operating on Hosnian Prime. </p><p>Siobhan is struggling to fulfill her mission against the Smuggler’s Alliance and is fighting for her place within the First Order.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Buckle up, because it’s going to be a bumpy ride for our heroine. </p><p>This also might be the longest piece I’ve ever posted… but I was so excited to introduce the Knights of Ren, I didn’t want to space it out over multiple chapters.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>I</b>
</p><p>Ren was the first one awake, tracing his fingertips along the rise of my shoulders and the back of my neck. </p><p>“Fuck. How long has it been?” I asked, pushing myself up on one arm. </p><p>“Just a couple of hours,” Ren answered, sounding tender now after all the violence. </p><p>He was shirtless, but had pulled on a pair of loose pants. He ran a hand underneath my hair, wrapping it to the side. </p><p>“How do you feel?” he asked, running a hand across my back. </p><p>“Like I got hit by a speeder,” I replied, sitting up. </p><p>Ren was staring at me, fascinated by the patterns of bruises and welts he had left along my skin. </p><p>I was ready to leave. </p><p>My muscles ached. I was sore. </p><p>I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed - feet coming to rest on the cold metal floors. </p><p>I gathered my strength and stood. </p><p>“So, that’s how it’s going to be?” Ren said, looking up with his dark eyes. </p><p>“That’s exactly how it’s going to be,” I said, running a hand through my hair. </p><p>All my clothing was in the other room. </p><p>Ren watched me with a guarded look on his face as I walked to the meditation chamber. He wanted so much from me. He wanted me to be his. I had entered his rooms. He had tied me up. He had fucked me. But he didn’t own me, and now he didn’t know what to do. </p><p>I gathered up my clothes from the floor, bundling them in my arms. </p><p>“You’re leaving?” he asked, as I entered his bedroom again.  </p><p>“Yeah, don’t you have work to do?” I said, draping the outer layer of my robes over myself. My skin felt too sensitive to get fully dressed right away. </p><p>“Yes, but can we take a moment. I pushed you hard.”</p><p>I scowled. “Nothing a trip to the medbay won’t solve,” I said, running a hand along my shoulder. </p><p>He wanted me to stay in bed. He wanted me to change my mind about loving him. </p><p>That wasn’t going to happen. </p><p>Ren was sitting up in bed, glaring at me. “You don’t care about anyone,” he spat, “All you do is use people.”</p><p>I picked up the bundle of clothes and headed out of his quarters, ignoring him.</p><p>“You really are a whore,” Ren said to my back. </p><p>For a split second, my vision was a cloud of red. I turned towards him, lip curling in anger. </p><p>“Being a whore taught me not to waste time on men like you,” I sneered, and left Ren’s bedroom. </p><p>Hector was in the stateroom, scrolling through something on his tablet. </p><p>He didn’t have enough time to react to me striding, mostly naked, through the room. </p><p>I kept my momentum up, walking barefoot across the metal floors, arriving at what I hoped was my quarters. </p><p>Tasha was waiting in my bedroom, seated by the large windows, scrolling on her tablet. </p><p>“Madam,” she greeted, as I strode in. She set down her tablet and clasped her hands together. </p><p>I dropped the bundle of clothes on the bed, leaving the outermost layers of my robes draped over my shoulders. </p><p>“What time is it?” I asked. </p><p>“1400.”</p><p>Not too bad. </p><p>I shrugged off the layer of robes I had wrapped around me and went searching for more casual clothing. </p><p>“Lin... “ Tasha said, seeing the marks across my back and arms. </p><p>“It's nothing,” I said, dismissing her concern. </p><p>I found the drawers filled with plain shirts and pants, and began climbing into fresh clean clothing. </p><p>“Lin, that’s… that’s not nothing,” Tasha said, rising to her feet, concern in her eyes.  </p><p>I had stepped into a pair of utility pants and pulled on an undershirt. I turned my head to the side, examining the pattern of bite marks and rope burns Ren had left along my shoulders and upper arms. </p><p>“Let me clean your injuries, at least,” Tasha said, approaching me. </p><p>I let her do her job. </p><p>Tasha escorted me into the bathroom and sat me down in a chair. She pulled a bottle of disinfectant from a panel in the wall and sponged at the places where Ren’s teeth had broken my skin, or where the rope had left a raw spot. </p><p>I winced and grimaced under her ministrations. She didn’t ask any questions. </p><p>When Tasha was done, I stood up and finished getting ready. </p><p>Getting Rosie prepared for another round of travel and hyperspace jumps was going to take the rest of the day. </p><p>I threw my olive green jacket over my shirt and made my way to Hangar One. </p><p>***</p><p>When I arrived to start working on my ship, there were ten black supply crates stacked next to her. </p><p>I gave them a look as I went to open the cargo bay ramp. </p><p>A mechanic scurried over. He had a shaved head and wore a standard black jumpsuit, but it had faded until it was almost gray from washing. </p><p>“Madam Siniang,” he said, glancing towards me before gazing down at the metal floors.</p><p>“Yeah,” I said, wanting to break through his nervousness. </p><p>“We were given orders to prepare one hundred probes for your assignment,” he said. </p><p>This was my first time hearing about that. </p><p>“So that’s what the crates are for?” I asked. </p><p>“Yes, madam,” the mechanic said with an anxious bob of his head. </p><p>“Okay, thanks for letting me know,” I said. </p><p>The mechanic made another nervous bow, then scuttled off to another corner of the hangar. </p><p>I hadn’t given him a reason to be scared. That must be Ren’s reputation preceding me. </p><p>I got to work on my ship. I’d figure out what to do with the probes later. </p><p>My progress on Rosie was slow going, and that gave me time to think and collect myself. I turned my music up, letting sound blare into the hangar. </p><p>I outranked everyone on this ship. No one was going to stop me. </p><p>To solve the issue of the fuel injector, I had to address a dozen smaller problems with the fuel lines. </p><p>The previous owner made a lot of temporary fixes, rerouting and redirecting mechanisms, rather than getting new parts and solving what was wrong. </p><p>I spent hours digging through the interior of the ship, uninstalling damaged pieces, and reinstalling machinery that worked. </p><p>The skin along my back and shoulders sent little jolts of pain as I reached through the interior of my ship. I gritted my teeth and kept going. </p><p>It felt good to be working on a straightforward problem; I wasn’t navigating people and deals, it was a matter of connecting parts and pieces. I <i>reached</i> through Rosie, an old familiar feeling. Before I was trained, it was like I had an instinct for machinery. As I developed my power, what seemed like natural talent was a result of my connection with the Force. I understood how all the pieces fit together, how the system worked.</p><p>As I slowly sorted out the mechanical problems with Rosie, my thoughts churned in the background. </p><p>I kept thinking about Ren. Each movement of my shoulders and arms was a reminder. He had taken it way too far, right up the edge of serious injury. If he tried to take things further, if he had actually tried to fight me, I didn’t know what I could have done to stop him. </p><p>He couldn’t handle it. He wanted complete devotion or nothing at all. I wasn’t able to give him that.</p><p>After four hours of working on my ship I needed a break. </p><p>Dax had drunk all my beer, and I hadn’t gotten any more when I was on Artrix. </p><p>I left my ship and sprawled out on top of one of the supply crates nearby, resting an arm over my eyes. </p><p>“Oh, ah… I thought I’d find you here,” Hux said, from a polite distance. </p><p>I shifted on top of the crate, pushing myself more upright. </p><p>“Yeah? What’s going on?” I asked. </p><p>Hux drew himself into a more formal posture. </p><p>“Did Ensign Nica let you know what the supply crates were for?”</p><p>“Uh, yeah, I’m dropping probes along our hyperspace routes, right?” I said, looking over at Hux. </p><p>He had returned to his overly formal posturing, wearing his crisp black uniform and cap, hair neatly slicked back, a tablet tucked under his arm. </p><p>“Yes, that’s correct,” Hux replied. </p><p>His eyes were drawn to me, and I remembered that I was only wearing a plain white undershirt. The bite marks and rope burns across my shoulders and arms were clearly visible. </p><p>It looked like Hux was finally putting two and two together. </p><p>“Is this instruction coming directly from Ymir?” I asked, staying seated on the crate, arms planted to either side. </p><p>Hux looked flustered, “Um. Yes, Lin.”</p><p>I climbed to my feet and opened the lid of the crate. </p><p>Resting inside was a layer of twenty spherical probes, glossy black, each about the size of two fists. </p><p>“Okay, that’s not as bad as I thought,” I said, picking one up, activating a red button in the center. </p><p>“I don’t understand,” Hux said carefully, trying to avoid looking at the patterns of bite marks and bruises across my skin. </p><p>“Well, I’m undercover, so flying around distributing First Order probes doesn’t really fit with my story,” I replied, returning the sphere to its crate. </p><p>“We need probes in the area to gather information. Did Lord Ymir go over the map with you?”</p><p>“No,” I said with a shrug, “Let’s go over it now.”</p><p>Hux and I took a seat on the supply crate and we talked through the information and the map. </p><p>The probes were going to be a huge help. They’d allow us to listen in on comms chatter in the sector, scan for ships and traffic along hyperspace lanes. It would save me time making sure that the smugglers were sticking to their agreement.</p><p>One of my turrets could be repurposed for the job. It was risky travelling with First Order technology aboard, but not enough for me to push back against the orders. I’d drop everything before I got to Arjun. Empty supply crates wasn’t going to raise any eyebrows. </p><p>It would add a couple of days to my travel, which fit perfectly with my plan to meet up with Arjun and to get off the Finalizer as soon as possible. </p><p>***</p><p>I spent the next ten hours finishing my work on Rosie and repurposing a turret to drop probes. </p><p>When I was nearly finished, I contacted Tasha to bring me a kit bag with gear and clothing. </p><p>I left the Finalizer without any formalities or good byes. Ymir had said that I didn’t answer to Ren, so I wasn’t going to make him aware of when I came or went. He could figure that out on his own.</p><p>My only communication was a line to Ymir: [Off to meet with Arjun. Please have Tasha reassigned to the Estate.]</p><p>She didn’t need to be stuck on a Star Destroyer just for me. </p><p>
  <b>II</b>
</p><p>It was a long and tedious day. </p><p>I felt like a contractor. I was making hyperspace jumps and dropping probes. Over and over and over. </p><p>After the first couple drops, I developed a very smooth system: I set coordinates and had the probes queued up in the turret; as soon as I popped out of hyperspace I released the probes, already working on the calculations to get to the next sector; when I returned to the swirling blue lane, I marked the drop point on my map. </p><p>I was never in a sector for more than five minutes. Each trip in hyperspace was somewhere between fifteen and twenty minutes. </p><p>I kept my music turned up, with my comms channels dialed into the local smuggling frequencies, listening in on the news along the border between the Mid-Rim and the Outer Rim. </p><p>My attention began to feel fractured. I was split between travel and making calculations for the next jump. </p><p>I also had to keep an eye on Rosie to make sure my fixes to the hyperdrive had stuck. </p><p>After six hours, I was ready to give up. At the ten-hour mark I felt like a machine; my sole purpose was to drop probes and check off sectors the map. </p><p>I found myself craving Blue - a couple of lines, then this slog might start feeling fun. </p><p>At the twelve-hour mark I needed to stop for fuel. I broke my flow to drop down to some shabby fuel station. </p><p>The next time I came out of hyperspace, I saw a message from Ekene: [I feel like talking to you again. Give me a call so we can catch up.] </p><p>He must have sent it just minutes ago.</p><p>A smile was pulling at my lips, the first in many, many hours. </p><p>I called back and Ekene answered right away. </p><p>“Siobhan, how are you?” He greeted, warm and friendly. </p><p>His locs were hanging freely around his shoulders and his robes were loose and open at the chest. He had a carefree smile. I suspected that he was drunk. </p><p>“So much better now,” I replied with a grin. </p><p>“Are you still on the Base?” Ekene asked, leaning his chin on his hand. </p><p>“Nah, I left a while ago. They have me busting my ass out here like I’m a contractor.” </p><p>Ekene laughed, “You’re on shit detail?”</p><p>“That’s what it feels like,” I said, leaning an elbow on my console, letting Ekene see how tired I was, “It’s so good to see your face. What made you call?”</p><p>“I found myself missing you, so I thought I’d let you know. The Estate is so damn quiet these days.”</p><p>I laughed, teeth flashing, “You should tell Ymir that,” I said, “He has me officially stationed on the Finalizer.”</p><p>“What?” Ekene asked with genuine surprise in his voice. </p><p>“That was my reaction, too,” I said, “Ymir didn’t tell you?”</p><p>Ekene shook his head, “I knew it was his original plan, but that was before everything that happened on the Base. But now… how long have you been on the Finalizer?”</p><p>“Just a couple of days. Now I’m out on surveillance duty. Couldn’t be happier to be off that fucking ship.”</p><p>“I can imagine,” Ekene replied, “How’s Ren?”</p><p>I shrugged, “Pretty much what you’d expect.”</p><p>Ekene gave me a knowing look. He changed topics, “How long are you going to be out on assignment?”</p><p>“As long as possible. The more work I get done, the less time I’m spending on the Finalizer.”</p><p>“That’s what I miss about you,” Ekene said, “Come out and visit soon. You can tell Ymir it’s a direct order from me.”</p><p>“I’ll get out there as soon as I can,” I said, “By the way, I sent a line to Ymir twelve hours ago and he hasn’t gotten back to me. Do you know how his mission to Coyerti went?”</p><p>“No idea,” Ekene replied with a breezy dismissiveness that I wasn’t used to hearing from him. </p><p>That was suspicious. </p><p>I shrugged, “I tried to get him to bring me along, but he wouldn’t let me,” I said, “Thanks for giving me a call, Ekene. I’ve missed you, too.”</p><p>“See you soon, Siobhan.”</p><p>I closed the line. </p><p>Something was going on. </p><p>Ekene should have known that Ymir was still going through with assigning me to the Finalizer. Maybe he had told Ymir he was angry and didn’t want to hear about me - but he liked to know what everyone was up to. Even more surprising was that he didn’t know the outcome of Ymir’s mission. </p><p>I distinctly remembered when Ekene left Taltua, after Snoke’s big party to celebrate the beginning of construction on Starkiller Base. Ymir had asked Ekene to call him when he arrived at the opera singer’s house. </p><p>They talked. They stayed in touch. </p><p>Then I thought about Ymir’s statement during our last meeting; he had said he wasn’t going to be living on his Estate, that he’d be putting in just as many hours as Ren and I were. </p><p>I really didn’t know anything about their relationship. </p><p>I knew they loved each other. That was clear from the way they talked. It was clear from the way Ymir looked at Ekene. </p><p>I decided to keep an ear to the ground. </p><p>***</p><p>All told, I spent twenty hours dropping First Order probes, skimming back and forth between the Mid- and Outer Rim. </p><p>When the last sphere left the turret, I slumped in my seat, finally letting myself be exhausted. </p><p>I celebrated the end of the job by fixing myself some caffeine. </p><p>Now I needed to clear the crates out of my cargo bay. Using the Force, I hid the empty containers in the floorboards. </p><p>Once the space was free, I spent an hour working out, clearing the fog from my brain. </p><p>Feeling refreshed and alert, it was time to see if Arjun had fulfilled his end of the deal. </p><p>I had released probes into his sectors about fifteen hours ago. </p><p>There wouldn’t be a lot of data yet, but I could tap into the underground frequencies and check for any chatter from his crews. </p><p>I made myself more caffeine and took four hours to scan through twelve different sectors. </p><p>All the chatter was mundane - people shooting the breeze, coordinating local transport jobs, sharing news about blockades and checkpoints. Nothing was out of the ordinary. I didn’t hear anything about the First Order. </p><p>As I listened to conversations of low-level smugglers and gangsters, my mind began to wander. </p><p>I should probably get a new ship. Rosie was perfect for visiting with the Smuggler’s Alliance, but the Hutts wouldn’t respond so well to me showing up in this ragged little vessel. They liked a show of power and wealth. They’d need to see me at my best. I needed them to want what I had. </p><p>I was getting ahead of myself. I still didn’t have a contact. </p><p>I hoped Ahobri would pull through for me. She had been interested. I could see that she wanted to solve this problem. </p><p>But could I rely on that?</p><p>If Ahobri fell through, I’d be starting at square one. If Jukhara and Ahobri didn’t want to make an introduction, I wouldn’t even want to keep pursuing the Uhdeas. It was too disrespectful. I’d have to go to one of the other families.</p><p>I had done smuggling in sectors that the Haak family controlled, but that was almost seven years ago now, from even before I worked at The Outpost. My only option would be finding the right bar and striking up a conversation with the right person. </p><p>It would take forever. </p><p>Still, if Ymir was going to keep me locked up on the Finalizer while off-duty, that might not be a bad option. </p><p>After four hours of scanning through data from the probes. I felt confident that Arjun had cleared his people out of the sectors I had told him too. </p><p>I called his line. </p><p>This time, I reached him directly - without passing through layers of underlings. </p><p>“Siobhan. I thought I might hear from you soon,” he greeted. </p><p>Trandoshans weren’t usually my type. But he was good looking, with a regal look to his snout and smooth scales. </p><p>“I just did a little tour of your territory, and I’m happy with what I saw,” I told him, “We can finish our deal if you give me your coordinates.”</p><p>“We’ve upheld our end of the deal. I look forward to the rest of the payment.”</p><p>Arjun cut the line and a moment later I got a console alert showing me where his ship was. </p><p>He was four hours away, in a comfortable spot in the Mid-Rim. </p><p>I punched in the coordinates and went to my bunk to nap. </p><p>Sleep stayed just beyond my reach. </p><p>It was the lags. I had spent too much time on this ship, making dozens and dozens of little jumps. My brain was frazzled, exhaustion keeping me awake when all I wanted to do was rest. </p><p>My thoughts kept swirling back towards my assignment. </p><p>I would need to be more cautious this time. </p><p>I had no idea what had gone on with the Smuggler’s Alliance after I left. Arjun could have contacted the rest of them, saying that Siobhan Zhang had appeared out of nowhere, offering him hundreds of thousands of credits from an unknown employer. He could try to rob me, thinking that I was just a scrappy little smuggler out on my own. </p><p>Whatever Arjun had up his sleeve, he had had days to prepare. </p><p>Eventually my thoughts spun themselves out, and I gave myself over to sleep. </p><p>***</p><p>When the alarm went off for hyperspace, I moved smoothly out of my bunk, preparing myself for the meeting. </p><p>I showered and put on fresh clothes and make-up, trying to hide the fact that I had spent almost thirty hours in hyperspace. </p><p>This time, I wore something with a little more style. I wore tight black pants and a deep-blue tunic shirt with a well-tailored black vest, the tails reaching almost to my knees. I made sure that my arms and shoulders were covered; I didn’t need Arjun to see the robe burns and bite marks across my skin. </p><p>I had my make-up in shades of blue and black, and my blaster strapped to my thigh. </p><p>My satchel had everything I needed: my tablet, a few hundred credits, and several blank data chips. </p><p>I emerged from hyperspace and contacted Arjun’s ship. One of the crew on the bridge sent me to Hangar One. </p><p>Arjun was waiting for me with two of his Captains. I didn’t remember their names, but I knew their faces. </p><p>I exited Rosie on the lookout for trouble, but my posture was relaxed and friendly. </p><p>“What junkyard did you liberate this ship from?” Arjun said, pulling me into a good-natured hug. </p><p>I’d take the warm welcome. </p><p>“Her name’s Rosie. She’s a good little machine,” I said with a grin, patting Arjun on the back. </p><p>I looked between the two captains. I recognized them both from our last meeting.</p><p>One was a Trandoshan woman, her scales were in shades of gold and copper; she was slim and elegant. The rolled up sleeves of her tunic, revealed two weaponized bracers; she also had two blasters strapped to her hips. The other was a Quarren in white and gray robes, with tentacles hanging from his face that reached halfway down his chest, like a long, twitching beard.  </p><p>“We met last time, but I didn’t learn your names,” I said. The Trandoshan woman was closest to me and I offered her my hand, “Siobhan Zhang.”</p><p>“Zae Tello,” she said, with a firm handshake, eyeing up my scar and blaster. </p><p>I turned to the Quarren. “Rab Knessos,” he said in a muffled, burbling kind of voice. </p><p>“Do you need a top-off?” Arjun asked, eyeing up my shabby red ship. </p><p>“Yeah, that’d be great,” I said. </p><p>Arjun made a signal to one of his mechanics. “We’ll talk more in the meeting room,” he said, leading the way out of the hangar. </p><p>I let out a long, slow breath, immediately sinking into the activity on the smuggling cruiser. </p><p>It was such a relief after the Finalizer. </p><p>The floors here were scuffed. Dozens of species roamed the halls, speaking in just as many languages - bullshitting, drinking, playing cards. </p><p>I thought about Dredd. I wouldn’t mind spending a few hours in his quarters, to shake off the misery of all the hyperspace jumps. </p><p>When we arrived in the meeting room, the little wheeled droid was already waiting for us. I wasn’t going to let my guard down until the deal was done and I was off this ship, but this was a good sign. </p><p>He indicated for me to sit next to him. Rab took the seat to my left, and Zae took her place next to Arjun. </p><p>No one had been unfriendly, but I was still flanked and outnumbered in the room. </p><p>“How’s the job on Greth Lan-Dwu?” I asked, “I haven’t heard any news.”</p><p>“We just did an initial scout,” Arjun said, “Zae and Rab were confirming the accuracy of the intelligence you gave us.”</p><p>I made a sweet smile, looking between the two captains, “And how does the information hold up?”</p><p>“It was accurate,” Zae said, with bored cockiness in her voice, “Now that we’re done reorganizing all our crews, we should be able to do the run on them in the next few days.”</p><p>A little jab. </p><p>I kept my cool. </p><p>“When you’re done with that job, you should reach out to me for more information,” I said, looking between Zae and Arjun, “My employer wants you to know that this is a long-term deal, so there are credits and intelligence for your continued cooperation. I’ll continue to receive eight percent for my fee, of course.”</p><p>Arjun nodded and motioned the droid over. We finished the exchange as I transferred seventy thousand credits from the anonymous account. </p><p>The droid whirred. A blue and white light flashed in its chassis to confirm the receipt. </p><p>Arjun raised a hand, and a panel popped open in the droid, revealing a metal box, “That’s your cut,” he said. </p><p>I leaned down and took the box, hearing metal coins and other valuables rattling around inside. When I opened the lid, I saw was a mix of precious metal chips, credits, and flan. On first glance, it looked about right. I was six thousand credits richer. </p><p>My own money, not doled out by the First Order. </p><p>Arjun was pouring us a round from the decanter on the table. </p><p>We knocked our drinks back. </p><p>“Siobhan, I hope you’ll understand that I asked around after our first conversation,” Arjun said. His tone was light and easy. </p><p>“I’m sure you did,” I replied with a grin, “Anything I should know?”</p><p>I extended my awareness, searching for anything that felt out of place. I didn’t get the sense that they were about to try something.</p><p>Arjun made a little smirk, “After you stole Tynne’s payload, the last thing anyone heard is that you joined the Resistance, and were doing side work with Vin Esso.”</p><p>Fuck. I tried not to wince when I heard the name. </p><p>“That sounds about right,” I said, tracing a finger around the lip of my glass. </p><p>I didn’t know if they had spoken to him directly. He wouldn’t have ratted me out. He was too scared of the consequences. When we had spoken, Vin was terrified I would bring the First Order down on his head if he revealed my true affiliation.</p><p>“I had a conversation with Dax,” Arjun continued, “He said that you weren’t with the Resistance anymore.”</p><p>I really should have kept my mouth shut around that slippery Dug. Of course he had told Arjun everything. </p><p>“The pay really wasn’t worth the trouble,” I said, tapping the scar on my left cheek. </p><p>Arjun gave me a knowing look, “I believe it. Matthias wants us to be doing more to support them, but I don’t need that kind of trouble.” He settled back in his chair, claws intertwined in his lap, “Will you tell me though? Are you still with them? Is this some kind of undercover assignment?”</p><p>I smiled my most charming smile, “I can neither confirm or deny that,” I said, “My employer expects me to maintain total anonymity.”</p><p>Arjun snorted and shook his head, “Well, the money’s good enough for now. You can tell your employer that.”</p><p>Zae was watching me carefully, and I could feel the Quarren’s eyes on my back. </p><p>We were at the end. Arjun wasn’t the kind of man that liked to drag business out. All he cared about was getting the credits into his pockets. </p><p>“My employer is interested in developing a relationship with the Smuggler’s Alliance, as a whole,” I said, “You should put in a nice word for me.”</p><p>“How much is a word worth to you?” Arjun asked, teeth flashing. </p><p>“That depends on the kind of introduction I get,” I replied, “I planned on reaching out to Tynne sometime soon, but I was never close with Verza or Eldo and their crews.”</p><p>Matthias would be the most challenging; I didn’t even bother mentioning him. </p><p>Arjun gave me a look, appreciating the banter, “Best of luck with Tynne. I don’t think he’s forgiven you,” he said, “If this job against Greth Lan-Dwu goes how I expect, I think the rest of the ‘Alliance is going to notice my good fortune. I’ll talk with them after.”</p><p>That was as far as I was getting today. </p><p>“Thanks Arjun,” I said. </p><p>He stood up and shook my hand. His scales were smooth against my palm. Our meeting was over. </p><p>Zae and Rab walked me back to Rosie. </p><p>“I have to admit, the intelligence you gave us is almost going to make the job too easy,” Zae said, as I punched in the code to lower the ramp.</p><p>I grinned at her, “Want me to leave some information out next time, to make sure it still feels like work?”</p><p>Zae patted my back with her clawed hand, “Don’t get me wrong,” she laughed, “I look forward to whatever else your mystery employer has to offer.”</p><p>“Pleasure doin’ business with you,” I said, shaking both their hands before heading up the ramp. </p><p>***</p><p>I took Rosie into open space, checking console alerts to make sure that all those hyperspace jumps hadn’t put too much strain on the drive. </p><p>It looked like my effort had fixed the problem. </p><p>I made a short jump to the next system, making sure that no one from Arjun’s crew would be watching me. </p><p>There was the small chance he had put a tracker on me, but that wasn’t really the ‘Alliance’s style. </p><p>I scrolled through my comms for messages. </p><p>I had sailed around dropping probes for the First Order. Arjun had moved out of the territories - he was about to steal a fuel shipment from Greth Lan-Dwu. I didn’t have anymore leads on the other heads of the ‘Alliance. I didn’t have another lead on the Hutts. My job was over for now. </p><p>I called Ymir. </p><p>This time he answered. </p><p>“Yes, Siobhan,” he said, in clipped tones. </p><p>His hair was pulled back at the nape of his neck and his beard was shorter. </p><p>“I’m done with my job. Arjun is all in, but I don’t have a connection with anyone else in the Smuggler’s Alliance. I’m still waiting on another contact with the Hutts.”</p><p>I hoped Ahobri would pull through for me.</p><p>“And did Vice Admiral Hux set you up with the probes?” he asked. There was a tablet in his hand that had most of his attention. </p><p>I had done my job. That wasn’t enough to impress him.</p><p>“Yeah, got it done before the meeting,” I said, “How was your mission?” </p><p>Ymir looked up at me, “It went how I had hoped. I expect to see the sector come under our banner before the end of the cycle,” he took a breath, “Kylo Ren and his Knights were very successful in their mission against the Resistance cell on Hosnian Prime. They’ve gone to Starkiller Base to train. I want you to go work with them, seeing as how you’re at a stopping point with your assignment.”</p><p>I’m sure we would all have fun together. </p><p>I rubbed a sore spot on my shoulder where Ren had bitten me. The shallow cut was starting to itch. “Yeah, I’ve been curious to meet them,” I said being more polite, “Ren has talked to me about Adram and Yuri.”</p><p>Ymir nodded, “They’re all Force-sensitive, similar to Ekene. Adram and Yuri might have trained with Luke, but they aren’t adepts like we are. I think it will be helpful for them to interact with another Sith.”</p><p>“How’s Ekene?” I asked. I knew it was a shift in the conversation, but Ymir had brought up his name. </p><p>“Why do you ask?”</p><p>“I miss him. We haven’t talked for a while,” I said, hoping I could get away with the lie. </p><p>“I’m sure he’s fine,” Ymir said, his eyes returning to his tablet, “You can always call him. He’ll let you know when he’s ready to talk again.”</p><p>“Okay. I’ll work on my report on the way to the Base,” I said. </p><p>Ymir ended the call. </p><p>Something was definitely up with them. I didn’t like it. </p><p>I made a note to do more digging. Ekene had asked me out to the Estate. Maybe I could visit him after meeting up with the Knights. Ymir’s house would be a welcome change from an ice planet at the ass end of nowhere.</p><p>I turned up my music, punched in the coordinates, and jumped into hyperspace. </p><p>
  <b>III</b>
</p><p>I spent my time in hyperspace catching up on sleep, setting an alarm to wake me up a couple of hours before the end of the trip. </p><p>Wiping grit out of my eyes, and stifling yawns, I made some caffeine and took time to shower and reorganize my things. I pulled my lightsabers out of the ceiling tiles, then went through my locker and kit bag for clothing. </p><p>Afterwards, I started to work on my report. Not much had happened on this trip, so there wasn’t much to write. </p><p>I was interested to meet the Knights of Ren. They were legendary, feared just as much as Ren himself. The Knights were a strike team, hiding in the shadows, emerging for high level assassinations, attacking Resistance bases, and knocking off political enemies of the First Order. </p><p>And I outranked them. </p><p>I felt a grin pulling at my mouth. </p><p>My music was blaring in the cockpit. I cradled my head in my hands and leaned back in my seat, putting my feet on the dash. </p><p>There was the matter of what Ren might have told them about me. </p><p>The Knights were his men, and I couldn’t imagine Ren telling them a flattering story. He could have said anything. I still had rope burns and bite marks across my skin from our last encounter - proof he had fucked me.  </p><p>I’d just have to figure out the situation when I arrived. </p><p>***</p><p>I popped out of hyperspace, the ice planet looming in front of me, the Finalizer off to the left. </p><p>I called the bridge and Hux answered, his face swimming up in my holofeed. </p><p>“Hux, I was just calling for a hangar assignment,” I said. </p><p>“Yes, Lin… Madam Siniang. Lord Ymir called ahead of you. Ren and his Knights are training on the base.”</p><p>“Ah, got it,” I replied, “I heard the mission went well.”</p><p>“It did, but very uneventful for us,” Hux said, clearly pleased that I was making conversation. </p><p>“Same here,” I said, “See you when I’m done planet-side.”</p><p>I fired off my report to Ymir as I cruised down through atmosphere. </p><p>The planet looked different. Large columns of smoke and steam rose up from the mountains and dark forests. I saw the initial construction of a rail line across the surface, a gouged path in the forest, a massive machine laying tracks. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> for the Kyber crystals and felt a cascade of sound. The mining crews had already begun digging into veins near the surface. I could feel pain - Ymir had said that it was an illusion, a reflection of my own conflict, but I didn’t believe him. The crystals felt like a living organism, growing inside the planet. </p><p>With a frown, I pushed the thought away and returned myself to the cockpit. </p><p>There was nothing I could do about it now. I had failed to kill Ymir. I couldn’t let my discomfort throw me off my game. </p><p>TIE fighter patrols swooped across the surface. A couple ships caught my eye as they flew awkwardly, not keeping up speed or formation. </p><p>That was weird. </p><p>I contacted the control tower and was instructed to bring my ship down to one of the hangars by the yard. </p><p>Thousands of soldiers were training on the icy concrete slab. They had to be close to the end of basic. I wondered how many had already been transferred to begin hard labor on the planet’s surface. </p><p>As I pulled into the hangar, flying in low over the Base. I spotted the Knights of Ren in a cluster at the edge of the yard. They stood out from everyone else with their black robes and masks. </p><p>Little toy soldiers. </p><p>I sailed overhead and found a spot in the hangar next to Ren’s ship, its wings folded up in a wedge shape. </p><p>I pulled on a couple more layers of shirts, and threw my olive jacket over everything. I’d have to just suck it up and be cold for a little while. </p><p>I left my ship and strode purposefully towards the cluster of black robed men in the yard. </p><p>There was a sharp wind today, and it cut right through my jacket and long-sleeved shirts. Icy flurries of snow stung my cheeks and I shoved my hands into my pockets. I tried not to hunch my shoulders too much. </p><p>Ren was standing next to Phasma, with one of his Knights at his side. All three had their faces covered. </p><p>The other five were sparring. There were three men in the center, and two on the sidelines. </p><p>I noticed the way the soldiers in the yard were captivated by the action. </p><p>It looked like the Knights were having a two-on-one match. </p><p>One of the men had a massive cleaver of a sword, with slots carved into the blunt edge to be used as handholds. Currently, he had his left hand wrapped through one of the slots and was using it as both a sword and shield, pushing forward, while protecting himself from attack with the sheer size of the blade. </p><p>His opponents had lighter weapons. One had a sturdy metal pike, with a scythe-shaped blade on the end. The other man was wielding a scimitar, eerily similar to the swords Ren had given me on Korriban. </p><p>The two men should have the advantage, but the man with the huge cleaver-sword was fast and nimble, not giving them an opening. </p><p>I hadn’t realized just how familiar I had gotten with lightsaber sparring. Instead of electric hums through the air, there was the solid, jarring sound of metal on metal as the men blocked and parried. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> out to them as I passed, searching for their energy. </p><p>Theirs was similar to Ekene’s; each had a fuzzy, indistinct feeling, like gazing into a fogged mirror. </p><p>I walked past the circle of fighters, approaching Ren, Phasma, and the Knight. </p><p>“Hey!” I greeted, holding up a hand.</p><p>I noticed how Ren drew himself up as I joined his group. </p><p>“Lin, how was your mission?” Phasma asked. </p><p>“Not too exciting,” I said with a wink. I turned towards Ren and the other man in a black mask and robes, “Ymir said your mission was a big success.”</p><p>“We completely eradicated the Resistance presence on Hosnian Prime,” Ren said stiffly, crossing his arms in front of his chest. </p><p>So that’s how it was going to be. </p><p>There was a moment of silence while I waited to see if Ren would go on, but he just kept looking out at the sparring match. </p><p>“Hey, I’m…” I almost said ‘Siobhan’, “Lin Siniang,” I said, offering my hand to the man at Ren’s side. </p><p>He took my hand and I could immediately feel his dislike for me. </p><p>“Adram,” he said, his voice cold through the ‘feed of his mask. </p><p>Now I knew what kind of stories Ren had told them about me. </p><p>“I know your name. Ymir and Ren have talked about you,” I said cooly, looking up into the black visor. </p><p>Adram didn’t respond. </p><p>What baanthashit. I wondered if Ren had told him about our recent fight. </p><p>I heard shouts of effort coming from the sparring match and turned that direction. </p><p>My view was partially blocked by one of the men on the sidelines, but I was able to watch the Knight with the giant sword feint, sweeping a leg as the man with the scimitar lunged in to attack - he went down on his ass. </p><p>As one opponent fell, the Knight released the hold of his left hand on the blade, making a powerful swing at the man with the pike, knocking the weapon out of his hands, sending it skittering across the snowy concrete. </p><p>“Damn,” I said, genuinely impressed. </p><p>Ren strode forward, cloak fluttering behind him, the wind pushing his hood around his shoulders. Adram followed in his wake. The Knights turned to Ren as he approached. </p><p>Complete deference. </p><p>“Adram, you’ll be my partner,” Ren announced. </p><p>Adram had a pike slung around his back. There was a large, curving blade on either end.</p><p>Unexpectedly, the man with the scimitar handed over his blade to Ren. </p><p>This was going to be interesting.  </p><p>“Huh,” I said, turning towards Phasma, “All this time, and I think I’ve only seen him fight with a lightsaber or a blaster.”</p><p>I crossed my arms tightly over my chest. My nose was starting to run from the cold. I sniffed. </p><p>“I’ve never met the Knights of Ren,” Phasma said, “Did you hear about their attack on the Capitol?”</p><p>“Their last mission?”</p><p>The men were assembling into formation. This time, it was Ren and Adram on the inside, with the rest of the men on the outside of the ring. </p><p>“They stormed the capitol city on Hosnian Prime and destroyed a Resistance cell being run just a few blocks from the government buildings. No one survived,” there was awe in Phasma’s voice, and I noticed her posh accent slipping. </p><p>“I’m sure they’ll tell us more about the story,” I said, watching the sparring match begin, “This is my first time meeting them too.”</p><p>Phasma looked over at me. Her face was covered in her chrome stormtrooper helmet, but I could feel her surprise. “Really?”</p><p>“Yeah, they always seem to be out in some corner of the Galaxy doing something for the First Order. Hux wasn’t even sure if he had met all of them, y’know, with the hoods and masks.”</p><p>It really was a sight - seven large men, all in layers of black, all masked. There were some differences between them; all the masks were shaped differently; some of the Knights wore cloaks, others had robes; I noticed large knives attached to belts, intimidating blasters holstered on a hip or a thigh. </p><p>And I had the distinct feeling that none of them liked me very much. </p><p>Inside the circle, Ren and Adram were sparring in earnest, feet sweeping through the thin layer of snow. </p><p>Adram was fast, twirling the double ended pike expertly. The weapon could also be used defensively, but it didn’t create the same kind of barrier that the giant cleaver-sword did. </p><p>Ren’s curved scimitar was blocked over and over as he tried to find an opening. He was still fighting like he had his lightsaber, not adjusting his technique for the solid metal weapon in his hands. He fought to overpower, making heavy swings, hammering away at his opponent. </p><p>If he had his lightsaber, Adram’s pike would be in a hundred pieces by now. The sound of metal striking metal joined the chorus of sound in the yard: the shuffling feet of soldiers doing drills, the shouted commands of the drill sergeants, and machinery being assembled in the hangars. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> out to the group of black robed men with Ren and Adram in the center. </p><p>I knew that they couldn’t feel me - with my aura cloaked, there was nothing to separate me from someone they passed in the street. Their energy felt hazy and unclear. </p><p>Ren, on the other hand, was like a fire, crackling with life. I understood where he was leading this fight. He was going to disarm Adram. </p><p>I watched Adram block a series of blows, then lunged forward, hoping to push Ren backwards. Instead, Ren lashed out, pinning the curved blade of the pike in the cement. Adram pulled to free himself, but Ren brought a knee up, knocking the weapon out of Adram’s hand, disarming him. </p><p>The two men separated, Adram bending down to retrieve the pike. </p><p>Ren handed the scimitar back to its owner, then put a hand on Adram’s shoulder. </p><p>Adram took off his mask, revealing an unexpectedly handsome face. He had long, tawny hair, just a few shades from gold, bundled in a knot at the back of his neck. He was smooth shaven, with high cheekbones and a strong angular jawline. There were spots of color in his cheek, and his breath puffed out in front of him as he wiped sweat from his forehead.</p><p>“Siobhan,” Ren called. </p><p>I smirked as he forgot to use my assumed name. “What?” I shouted, not taking a step towards them, holding my ground. I cinched my arms even tighter across my chest. </p><p>I wasn’t going to come when called. </p><p>Ren turned, noticing what I was doing. </p><p>“We’re training in the Kyber caves,” he announced.</p><p>I did not want to return to that place. Not at all. </p><p>But I wasn’t going to back down in front of this group. </p><p>Besides, how could it possibly be worse than last time?</p><p>“Yeah, sure, I just need to gear up first,” I said loudly, popping the fur collar of my flimsy jacket. I turned to Phasma, “All my things are on the Finalizer. Could you point me where I could get some better clothes?”</p><p>“Of course,” Phasma said, starting to notice the tension, “We’ve prepared the Knight’s equipment by the barracks.”</p><p>“Follow me,” Ren said, striding off towards the western side of the yard, his Knights trailing after. </p><p>His own brotherhood.  </p><p>I sighed and rolled my eyes, letting Phasma see my annoyance, “Catch you later,” I said, setting off after them. </p><p>This was not a new situation for me. I ran into this dynamic a lot when I was running with gangs and smugglers. </p><p>Still, that didn’t make it any less obnoxious. </p><p>When I was fucking, or had fucked, the big man in charge, it was always a challenge to sort out my place in the crew. The leader had his squad of loyal men. There was always a power struggle as they jockeyed for position, not wanting to be overshadowed by a newcomer in the group, and even worse, a woman. </p><p>Sometimes the group was relaxed and I joined the crew without a problem - other times men were jealous, knowing that I was a temporary fixture, sensitive to any favoritism their boss showed me. My usual strategy was to win the group over. If that failed, I carved out a place for myself, making sure they knew that I could fight and I could win. </p><p>It was a six hour hike up the mountain. I’d have some time to figure out what kind of situation I was dealing with. </p><p>There was an equipment hangar next to the barracks. Seven backpacks had been prepared, sitting neatly on a table. </p><p>The Knights began their final preparations. The ones with large, unwieldy weapons talked with an officer about storage. </p><p>I flagged another officer down, requesting layers and another bag of gear. </p><p>I changed clothes in an office to the side of the equipment hall. </p><p>The fucking Kyber crystal caves. There was a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. </p><p>I wasn’t going to let it stop me. I wasn’t going to let Ren see my nervousness. </p><p>I pulled on thermals, thick socks and gloves. I had a pair of slate gray utility pants, a hat with fuzzy earflaps, and a heavy black winter jacket. My lightsabers stayed on my belt, hidden underneath the large coat. </p><p>When I emerged, the officer had prepared a backpack for me. I handed him my olive jacket and thin, long sleeved shirts, “That’s my favorite jacket,” I told him sternly, “Make sure you don’t lose it.”</p><p>“Yes, madam,” the officer said with a nervous gulp, his adam’s apple bobbing against the stiff uniform collar. </p><p>The Knights were still standing in the equipment hall. A couple were looking through the packs. One of them was rearranging his supplies. </p><p>I took a spot on the end, poking through my bag. There were calorie pouches, along with water and climbing gear. </p><p>“So, we’re not fasting?” I said, turning towards Ren. He had his pack on his shoulders, looking like he was ready to leave. </p><p>“No.”</p><p>“That’s a relief,” I said to no one in particular, hooking one strap over my shoulder - letting the bag hang off of me. </p><p>“You fasted last time?” asked the Knight who was repacking next to me. </p><p>“That’s what Ymir had us do,” I said, keeping my tone easy wanting the man see that I was friendly, “Twelve hours of hiking and twelve hours in the cave.”</p><p>“I’ll count myself lucky then,” the man replied. The audiofeed made his voice gravelly and monotone. He closed the top of his bag and set it around his shoulders. “I’m Yuri,” he added, offering me his hand. </p><p>“Siobhan,” I replied, deciding to use my real name.</p><p>Unlike Adram, I didn’t feel a wave of immediate dislike. There was some distance, but curiosity too. </p><p>We didn’t have time to start a conversation.</p><p>Ren and the rest of his Knights were ready to go. They filed out of the equipment hangar, and we began our path up the mountain. </p><p>
  <b>IV</b>
</p><p>The trek up the mountain was so much better than I remembered. </p><p>I had gotten some sleep. I wasn’t strung out on Blue. </p><p>The mood was about the same, though. Ren was avoiding me. The company didn’t feel friendly.<br/>
Outside of Yuri, no one had introduced themselves. </p><p>Ren hadn’t introduced me to the group. He was excluding me on purpose, trying to make me uncomfortable. </p><p>I put in effort to stay near the front of the pack, heaving for breath as I struggled to keep up with Ren and Adram, pushing my way through calf-deep snowdrifts.  </p><p>No one was talking or making conversation as we hiked. The only sound were our boots crunching through the snow and ice, brushing past the tree branches covered in needles. </p><p>I accepted the silence, extending my awareness through the planet and allowing my thoughts to swirl inside my head. </p><p>The Kyber crystals hummed in the background. It wasn’t the frightened chorus I had experienced on my last trip. I could feel the drill sites, the rocks cracked and crushed under the First Order’s mining equipment. The connected veins of Kyber crystals rang out - a thin, pressured sound. </p><p>I thought about <i>reaching</i> out towards Ren, to see if he felt it too, but I decided against it. </p><p>We’d be spending the night in the caves. There’d be time to talk later. </p><p>I thought about my assignment. I had stalled out, and was waiting on other people. Arjun wasn’t going to talk to the rest of the Smuggler’s Alliance until after he had finished the fuel heist. I hadn’t explicitly asked Ahobri to help connect me with the Hutts; I was hoping she’d decided to help me on her own. </p><p>I was going to need to make a move. Tynne was my best option in the Smuggler’s Alliance, but Arjun was right; I had helped the Resistance steal his weapons shipment, so it would be an uphill battle for him to trust me again. But Tynne did have a soft spot for the Resistance. Everyone who worked in his crews had heard all of his stories about working with the Rebellion and flying with Han Solo. </p><p>My thoughts were scattered. It was taking every ounce of strength I had to keep up with Ren and Adram. I was determined not to fall to the back of the group, but the thought became more and more appealing as my lungs and throat were stung by the cold air.  My muscles were burning as I kept trekking on a constant uphill.</p><p>I had no idea when we arrived at the treeline, but the sky was growing dim, the clouds changing from light gray to iron. It would be dark in another hour. </p><p>Ren stopped us at the landmark. We took a break for water and food while there was still some protection from the wind. </p><p>The men distributed themselves along a few boulders and fallen logs. </p><p>I took a place on a rock, scooting my ass up onto the cold stone surface, resting my legs. </p><p>I watched the men’s masks come off as they drank water and opened calorie pouches. </p><p>One of the Knights took a seat on the opposite side of my rock. He had long, thin, blonde hair, so pale it was almost white, and gritty stubble across his sunken cheeks. He had dark eyes with deep rings beneath them. </p><p>He didn’t say a word to me, and I didn’t say a word to him. He gave off a simmering, violent energy. </p><p>“Got room for one more?” Yuri said, unlatching his mask as he walked over. </p><p>“Yeah, come on up,” I said, moving over to give him space. </p><p>He left his mask in the snow as he climbed up next to me. </p><p>Ren, Adram, and another Knight had dragged a log over to use as a bench, able to look out over the mountain range while they rested. </p><p>Yuri took a seat beside me, and I studied his face. He was slightly shorter than the rest of the men, but still taller than me. He had a sturdy, muscular build. His features were wide and plain. His brown hair was buzzed close to his head. A week’s worth of beard shaded his cheeks. There were deep lines around his mouth. His eyes were brown and inquisitive, but there was a gravity to him. He looked like a soldier. </p><p>He dug around in his bag and opened a calorie pouch, “Now seems like a good time to introduce you,” he said, taking a gulp from the silver packet. “That’s Thalin,” he said tilting his head towards the blonde sharing the rock with us. </p><p>Yuri pointed towards the log. Ren and the other two Knights had their backs to us. “That’s Adram, and that’s Ghent,” he said. He swung his arm around to another rock with the two other men. One had a deep purple birthmark splashed across his forehead and cheek, “That’s Kav,” the final Knight had a rat-tail braid at the nape of his neck and a streak of gray in his black hair, “And that one is Gallo.”</p><p>I had finished my calorie pouch and opened another. Yuri did the same. </p><p>“You and Adram were at the Jedi Academy,” I said, meeting Yuri’s eyes. </p><p>“That’s where we met,” he said easily, “Did Lord Ymir talk to you?”</p><p>“Him and Ren,” I replied, “They’ve both talked about you.”</p><p>I remembered standing in Ren’s memory. I had followed him, the fifteen year old version, his hair buzzed close, a braid tucked behind his ear. He had approached two other boys, holding off a group of Jedi apprentices. </p><p>“Yeah, my parents were both Rebels. Commanders,” Yuri said. I noticed how his gaze fell towards Ren, “They were close with General Organa. She felt a spark of the Force in me, that’s how I wound up at the Academy.” There was a note of bitterness in his voice. </p><p>“My dad fought with the Rebellion, too,” I said, with a mean grin, “Captain Wei Zhang. He flew during the Battle of Endor.”</p><p>Yuri was nodding as he finished the second calorie pouch, curling the end tightly to squeeze as much out as possible. </p><p>I noticed Thalin listening to our conversation. </p><p>“Kylo Ren told me about that,” Yuri said, then paused. “He said that Lord Ymir killed your father,” he added, more cautious now.</p><p>“That’s right,” I replied, letting him see that I wasn’t angry, “He felt my connection with the Force, and left me alive. It took me ten years to find him again.”</p><p>I turned around to Thalin, seeing if I could break the ice with the rest of these goons, “How about you?” I asked, “How’d you join the Knights of Ren?”</p><p>The man had an eerie hollowness to him. He looked at me, and there wasn’t enough light in his dark eyes, “I was in a special regiment with the First Order,” he answered in stilted tones, “Lord Ymir felt my connection with the Darkside.”</p><p>I kept looking at him, but that was all he said. I didn’t like his eyes. He felt like the kind of person who was good at killing and not much else. </p><p>“Did you find your Kyber crystals here?” Yuri asked, saving the conversation. </p><p>I shook my head, unhooking one of my lightsabers from my belt, “I found mine while I was training on Korriban.”</p><p>Yuri was looking at the lightsaber in my open palm. </p><p>There were so many things I wanted to ask him. We were making a connection. Both of us were the children of Rebels and we had found ourselves working for the First Order. </p><p>I noticed Adram and Ren turning towards us. Adram put a hand on Ren’s shoulder. Both men had their masks off. I watched them saying something I couldn’t hear. </p><p>Ren stood up and began walking my way. </p><p>Whatever he had in mind, it wasn’t going to be good. </p><p>Yuri looked up as Ren approached, with Adram just a couple of paces behind.  </p><p>“Let’s have a match,” Ren said, taking his lightsaber hilt in his hand. </p><p>He wasn’t leaving me a choice. I wasn’t going to back down. </p><p>“Yeah, why not,” I said, shucking my heavy jacket and sliding off the boulder. </p><p>The men noticed our movements and began to gather around us. </p><p>Ren wanted to intimidate me. I was alone on the side of a mountain with him and his posse. He was directly engaging me in a fight. </p><p>Unfortunately for him, this was hardly my first time in this kind of situation. This was exactly like being in lock-up. </p><p>I had been put in holding cells with rival gangs. In those situations, I usually started the fight. I needed to establish that I could hold my own, that I wasn’t an easy target. </p><p>Ren stood across from me, the wind whipping at his black hair and the cloak wrapped around his shoulders. He was bigger than me. He was stronger than me. I could feel his anger like a torch in the dark. </p><p>His emotions gave him away; I was able to see his intentions. He didn’t have the same advantage against me. </p><p>Ren activated his lightsaber, crackling red at his side. </p><p>I took in a breath, the air cold and sharp in my lungs. </p><p>I activated both of my green blades, extending my awareness, coming into my surroundings.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Are you sure you want to do this? I had you beaten the last time we fought.</p>
</blockquote>I sneered.<p>Ren made a roar as he lunged towards me. </p><p>Predictable. </p><p>I blocked him with my right hand blade, attacking with my left, making him pivot to the side. </p><p>There were times when it was helpful to prove you were faster and stronger than your opponent. It could be helpful to show off, demonstrating that the fight wasn’t a threat. </p><p>That was not the case fighting Ren. </p><p>He had the strength and stamina to hammer at me all day. I needed to end this match decisively, and as soon as possible. </p><p>His men were gathered around us, waiting for him to kick my ass. </p><p>I went on the offensive again, releasing a volley of attacks, switching which hand led the attack. I made sure to keep one hand ready for defense. </p><p>Ren successfully blocked all my attacks, but he had to retreat. </p><p>I felt Adram’s eyes on me. Watching. Waiting to see me fail. </p><p>Along with strength, Ren’s other advantage was size. He had a much longer reach. I had to get in close if I wanted to accomplish anything. </p><p>Ren was determined to not to be shown up. He braced his back leg, and launched forward with a series of swings. </p><p>He swept upwards, and as I blocked him he spun fluidly to the side. I blocked him again, striking out. He dodged, putting distance between us again. Distance benefited him. </p><p>I drove forward, determined to keep him within reach. Ren made a series of heavy strikes against me, but I wasn’t deterred. I kept moving forward, keeping close. </p><p>So far, this was just sparring. We weren’t trying to injure each other. But as I kept up my aggressive attacks, I felt Ren’s temper flaring. I could feel him <i>reaching</i> into the Force, sinking into his anger. His movements became clear to me, like following the current of a stream. </p><p>I knew his men would be able to feel him. But with my aura cloaked, I knew they couldn’t feel anything from me. To them, it must feel like a fight between a Force user and a civilian.</p><p>Our feet swept through the snow, dodging uneven rocks hidden beneath the surface. </p><p>I stayed on top of Ren, defended by one sword while striking with another. He had to keep up with me. We were fighting on my terms. </p><p>He couldn’t stand it. </p><p>Ren began to hammer at me, two-handed, trying to overpower me through size and strength alone. I felt the impact in my forearms as I blocked his swings. </p><p>This was getting out of hand. I felt a grin pulling at my face and a jagged, feral sensation rising in my chest.  </p><p>A ripple of tension moved through the Knights, each uncertain of what they should do or whether they needed to step in. </p><p>I needed to get Ren off of me now, distance be damned. </p><p>I lunged, aiming for his torso. </p><p>Ren moved quickly, pivoting deftly to the side. As I passed him, he lashed out, purposefully catching me in the right shoulder with the red hand-guard of his lightsaber. </p><p>Pain seared across me, and I let out an angry, ragged cry. I whirled around to face Ren, already on the offensive. </p><p>The Knights were on their toes now, waiting to see how they should respond. This was supposed to be a sparring match, but Ren had landed a blow against me rather than let me gain the upper hand. </p><p>Still, no one was going to rush to my aid. </p><p>It took everything I had to keep my aura cloaked. Adrenaline poured through my veins; shock was protecting my mind, allowing me to stay one step ahead of the pain. </p><p>I struck out at Ren. This had become a real fight. </p><p>Killing him wasn’t a good option. If I did that, there were six other men I’d have to go through afterwards. </p><p>I didn’t have the same kind of protection. I felt that the Knights would be happy to stand by if he tried to kill me on this mountainside. </p><p>Ren made another overhand swing, trying to test my arm strength and wounded shoulder. That gave me an opening. </p><p>I swept upwards with my right hand to intercept his sword, and jabbed forward with my left. He sidestepped too slowly, and I pushed with my blade glancing along the side of his thigh. </p><p>Ren let out a cry of pain as his leg buckled, bringing him down to one knee. He tried to bring his sword around to protect him, but my left hand blade was already pointed at his chest. </p><p>“Stand down!” Yuri commanded. He stepped forward, inserting himself between us. </p><p>My blade was dangerously close to Yuri, but Ren’s lightsaber was still activated; I wasn’t going to deactivate my swords until he did. </p><p>Yuri was completely unflappable. “Adram, take care of Ren,” he said, projecting his voice. </p><p>Ren turned off his lightsaber, looking away. </p><p>As soon as he turned his weapon off, I deactivated my sabers, hooking them to my belt. </p><p>Yuri had a hand on my uninjured arm and was steering me away. </p><p>The men moved aside, giving me a wide berth. </p><p>I watched Adram put an arm around Ren’s shoulders helping him up. </p><p>I felt like I was underwater - everything was moving so slowly. </p><p>“Hey, you still with me?” Yuri asked, giving my left arm a couple bracing pats. </p><p>I nodded. A tremor raced through me as I returned to the world. </p><p>He pointed out a low rock for me to sit on, “I’m going to take a look at that burn,” he said. His tone was firm, but without malice. </p><p>“It’s cauterized. I’ll be fine,” I said, staring across the way at Adram helping Ren. He was digging in his backpack for a first-aid kit. </p><p>“I’m going to make sure your clothes aren’t melted to you,” Yuri said, leaning in close and tugging at my shirt. </p><p>The adrenaline had run its course, and my shoulder was starting to blaze with pain. I could feel the skin stretching with each breath. </p><p>I craned my head to the side to look. </p><p>The prong on the side of Ren’s lightsaber had hit me just above my bicep, and dragged around to the side of my shoulder blade. My skin was red and cracked, looking like poorly cooked meat. I could smell it. </p><p>My stomach churned. </p><p>“Siobhan,” Yuri’s voice was direct, “I have med tape and disinfectant in my bag. We can find a private spot and I’ll get you bandaged up.”</p><p>I didn’t respond right away. I was gazing out at the rest of the men, deciding what I wanted to do. </p><p>Adram was at Ren’s side, helping him to his feet. They were walking off into the forest. I had wounded Ren’s thigh. He’d have to take his pants off to apply a bandage. That made me feel pretty satisfied.  </p><p>The Knights had dispersed into little clusters. Gallo, with the rat-tail and the gray streak in his hair, was standing with Thalin. Across the little clearing were Kav, with his purple birthmark, and the last one, whatever his name was. </p><p>I was watching them carefully. </p><p>Yuri saw me intently gazing around, figuring out the situation, “If you want to keep going, I’ll stay out of your way,” he said with a wry smile. </p><p>I turned to him, meeting his brown eyes - they were unexpectedly gentle. I relaxed, giving him a smile, “I’m good on that. Lead the way.”</p><p>We walked behind the rock. I pulled my shirt and thermal off, just enough for Yuri to get to the wound. </p><p>It was frigid outside, and goosebumps travelled along my exposed skin. Now Yuri could see that the lightsaber burn wasn’t the only wound I was healing from. Ren’s bite marks had faded to splotchy purple and green bruises. The rope burns were shallow scabs crisscrossing my back and shoulders. </p><p>Yuri didn’t say a word about the other marks. He might not even know they were Ren’s. He was quick, moving with precise, routine motions; he applied disinfectant and two patches of med tape - one around my bicep, the other around my shoulder.  </p><p>“My assumption is that we’re still going to the caves,” Yuri said, “I’m not sure you clipped Ren’s leg deep enough for him to call it off.”</p><p>“I can keep going.” I said, pulling my shirt back on.</p><p>Yuri handed me my coat and hat. Gratefully, I wrapped myself back up. </p><p>Adram was approaching us, walking through the forest. </p><p>I realized just how dark it had become. It was hard to see him.  </p><p>Yuri stepped forward. </p><p>Was he being protective?</p><p>Ren was just behind Adram, walking more slowly. </p><p>“We’re going to continue onto the caves,” Adram said, putting his mask over his face. </p><p>Yuri ignored Adram, looking towards Ren. “Are you sure?” he asked pointedly. </p><p>Ren had his mask back on, with his hood pulled up. </p><p>Their dynamic was clear. Adram was Ren’s boy, completely devoted. Yuri was loyal, but it felt like he was the voice of reason, making sure they explored all their options. </p><p>Ahobri was that kind of friend to me. </p><p>“The caves are two hours away,” Ren answered, “If we go down the mountain, that’s a four hour walk.”</p><p>“Okay,” Yuri said with a curt nod, before turning to me. </p><p>“Let’s go,” I said with a dismissive shrug.</p><p>Ren walked to the clearing. I could see the hitch in his step, even as he tried to hide it. </p><p>“We’re continuing to the caves,” he announced, and set off into the icy skree. </p><p>I picked up my backpack from the boulder I had left it on. I picked up Yuri’s mask, dusting snow off before handing it to him. </p><p>“Thanks,” he said, before closing it around his face. </p><p>***</p><p>The final stretch up the mountain was tense. </p><p>Night had fallen and there wasn’t a true path to follow. We had our lightsticks out; most of the men had them hooked to the straps of their bags; A couple others had them held in their hands, casting light around them. </p><p>Ren and Adram started out at the front of the pack, leading the way, but with the leg injury, Ren couldn’t keep pace. </p><p>The burn in my shoulder had faded to a persistent ache. The weight of the pack was uncomfortable, but I wasn’t in the mood to ask for help. </p><p>I had my awareness extended, <i>feeling</i> for the Kyber crystals, following their energy towards the cave entrance. </p><p>Eventually, I found myself at the head of the group. Yuri was at my side. Ren and Adram were somewhere near the middle, because the rest of the Knights did not want to outpace their leader. </p><p>“I had heard that… Lord Ymir took you... to train on Korriban,” Yuri said through the ‘feed of his mask. His hands were wrapped around the straps of his backpack, “What was... that like?”</p><p>“Oh, pretty awful,” I replied with a grin, my breath puffing out in front of me. </p><p>Both of us were breathing heavily as we moved uphill. </p><p>“I was… with Ren… on Anoat,” Yuri said. </p><p>He had been one of the Knights keeping Ren company while he was on shit-detail after he fucked a prisoner of war - me.</p><p>I gave him a knowing look. </p><p>“I remember… he said... that Lord Ymir… abandoned you there,” Yuri continued. </p><p>“Sixty-three days,” I replied. </p><p>“And you were… untrained at the time?” Yuri asked. </p><p>“At the time,” I said, “I had to… figure things out… pretty fast.”</p><p>“It’s impressive,” Yuri said. </p><p>“Are you… trying to... flatter me?” I asked with a roguish smile, breath puffing out, reflecting the blue glow from my lightstick. </p><p>“No,” Yuri said. With his mask over his face, I couldn’t read his expression. “I’ve heard… many different… stories about you. I’d like… to make up... my own mind,” he added. </p><p>It felt like I was making a friend after all. </p><p>We arrived at the cave entrance just as the wind began picking up, pushing more snow through the air. </p><p>I stepped inside, gratefully dropping my pack. Yuri squatted on the floor, arms resting on his knees, catching his breath. </p><p>Ren strode in angrilly, Adram right behind. </p><p>“I want to talk with Siobhan. Alone,” Ren said, his voice cold through the ‘feed of his mask, “Yuri, Adram, tell the rest of the Knights to wait outside.”</p><p>“Yes, Kylo Ren,” Adram said. </p><p>Yuri slowly rose to his feet, giving Ren a look before following Adram out of the cave. </p><p>I stayed right where I was, leaning against the wall. My hand was ready to move to my lightsabers. </p><p>“What do you want now?” I asked, my voice hard. </p><p>We were swallowed in darkness. </p><p>Ren had his lightstick hung on his belt. I had two clipped to the straps of my bag. </p><p>I could feel the Kyber crystals like another living being in the cave with us. The energy was loud in my ears. </p><p>“I want to make sure you won’t be overwhelmed in the caves again,” Ren said, taking a few steps towards me. </p><p>What an asshole. He was using whatever he could against me. </p><p>My laugh was a rude abrupt sound, echoing off the stone. </p><p>“You are fucking unbelievable,” I said, picking up my pack and brushing past him. </p><p>Ren reached out for me and I roughly pushed his arm away. </p><p>“Do you want to go again?” I demanded, my jaw tight, heart speeding up in my chest. </p><p>Ren stayed planted right where he was. </p><p>It felt like a victory. </p><p>I made my way over to the column of stone and took the rope from my pack, starting to secure it with simple knots. </p><p>Ren watched me, his anger hanging around him like a fog. </p><p>There was nothing for him to do. I had rejected him in private, then defeated him in front of his men. He had been the one to challenge me to a sparring match, then escalated into real violence when I gained the upper hand. Even then, I had bested him. </p><p>I worked calmly, checking my knots before climbing into the harness and working the rope through the bobbin descender. </p><p>Ren activated his lightsaber and my body tensed, my hand immediately going to my hip. </p><p>With a gravelly roar he began striking at the walls, his red lightsaber leaving smoking gashes in the rock. </p><p>I felt a surge of energy from the Kyber crystals in response to his anger, a chorus rising with his emotion. </p><p>For a moment, I was captivated - watching the red blade, hearing it scorch the rock, watching the acrid smoke rising. </p><p>It had been a long time since I had seen Ren throw a fit like this. Emotion churned inside of him, brutal and raw. </p><p>Once I felt certain that he wasn’t going to turn on me, I double-checked my rope and began my descent. </p><p>I walked backwards, slowly approaching the lip of the cave floor as it opened into the cavern below. </p><p>As I descended, I could see flashes of red from Ren’s lightsaber. I heard his rasping screams of anger. I hoped that he wouldn’t think to cut my rope, but I wasn’t willing to hang around until his tantrum had ended. </p><p>By the time I was on the ground he had stopped his attack on the cave walls. There was silence for a few minutes. </p><p>I took a seat on an open patch of ground, crossed my legs, and waited. </p><p>Now, more than ever, I wanted to talk to Yuri. I wanted to know more about what happened at the Jedi Academy - why Yuri and Adram were so devoted to Ren. </p><p>***</p><p>From up above in the cave, someone attached another rope, giving a warning shout before throwing it over the edge. </p><p>Two by two, the men began descending into the cavern. </p><p>They all had their masks on again. It was impossible to tell them apart in the darkness. They were silent, organizing gear in their packs, giving me space.</p><p>Ren came down last. </p><p>One of the men finished organizing his pack and walked over to me. </p><p>“Yuri?” I asked <i>reaching</i> for him. </p><p>I was right. </p><p>Ren took the time to free himself from the climbing harness. After he packed it away, he climbed on top of a fallen column of stone. </p><p>“Knights,” he said, raising his voice, “We’ll begin our meditation in the cave. I’m not giving us any specific rules. You can work on your own or in groups. I will give you a warning. This place has a deep connection with the Force and can alter your perceptions. You can reach out to me for guidance. I’ll give the signal when we’re done.”</p><p>He stood proudly, putting on a confident act. </p><p>I nudged Yuri, keeping my voice down, “Want to come with me?”</p><p>“Yeah, for a little while,” he said, “I might want to strike off on my own.”</p><p>I nodded, touching his upper arm to guide him into the cavern. </p><p>I waited until we were away from the group to talk again. </p><p>“Have you tried reaching into the crystals yet?” I asked, deciding to ease my way into the conversation. </p><p>“A little,” Yuri replied, “Kylo Ren could feel them before we were even in atmosphere.”</p><p>“Yeah,” I agreed, “There’s something almost musical about it.”</p><p>I stopped to give Yuri the chance to concentrate and explore the sensation.</p><p>I could feel his energy, but also his effort. His aura was muddy and unclear. </p><p>“It feels like a wave to me,” he said, his voice sounded dreamy. </p><p>I closed my eyes and tried to sink into the Force with him. It wasn’t like Ymir and Ren. I was grasping for him in the dark, and he slipped away a few times. </p><p>“Sorry,” he said quickly, and I felt him concentrating again. </p><p>I found him. </p><p>“Gods...” he whispered as he connected with my energy. </p><p>I felt the Light side of the Force in him, but it wasn’t like Maz. There was something tainted about it, an unbalanced sensation. </p><p>I <i>pulled</i> Yuri’s aura towards me, in the shared space of meditation, giving him a window into my experience. He could feel the Kyber crystals the way I did; he could hear the clear crystalline chiming, and he could feel the pressure points, the places where machinery dug into the earth, exposing veins, mining them, separating the great underground clusters. </p><p>Yuri gasped, and I felt him reeling away, unable to take it all in. “Shit,” he murmured, bringing a hand to his forehead, still covered by the mask. </p><p>I brought a gentle hand to his shoulder, “Let me show you around. We can work together for a little while.”</p><p>Yuri nodded and removed his mask, slinging his backpack around and shoving it inside. </p><p>We set off together. </p><p>I walked until I found an alcove, a place where several stalactites and stalagmites had merged together, forming massive columns of Kyber crystals that spanned the entire distance between the ceiling and the floor. </p><p>We took a seat across from each other, legs crossed. </p><p>Darkness drew close around us as we turned our lightsticks off. I blinked my eyes open and closed, my brain fighting to make sense of the complete absence of light. </p><p>“Here I am, meditating in a cave with the Knights of Ren,” I said with a grin, “If someone had told me that year ago, I never would have believed them.” </p><p>Yuri made an appreciative snort. I was glad that he had taken off his mask, even if we were sitting in the dark. “I want to explore the Kyber crystal energy again,” he said with sincerity, “Can you show me?”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>We slowed our breathing, joining in the Force. </p><p>From beyond us, I could hear the sounds of feet on the stone floors of the cave and hear the swish of clothing. We were the only beings making sound down here, and sounds carried. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> for Yuri’s energy, shifting and murky compared to mine. </p><p>He had a difficult time staying with me.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>I can’t feel you, Siobhan. You’re like a shadow in the dark.</p>
</blockquote><p>I laughed, my voice echoing off the crystals surrounding us. </p><p>I released some of the hold I had over my aura, and I felt Yuri take hold of it. </p><p>It was nice to have company in this space. The experience couldn’t have been more different than last time. </p><p>We floated, buoyed on the energy of the Kyber crystals surrounding us, our breath slow and even. </p><p>From beyond us there were occasional spikes of energy. I could feel Ren - his rage felt like a spotlight in the distance. </p><p>Yuri stayed tethered to me, sensing all the different threads of life, death, and power that held the planet together. </p><p>After some time, what felt like several hours, I <i>reached</i> towards Yuri directly, exploring his dim connection with the Force.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>I can feel the Light, but there’s something…</p>
</blockquote><p>“Wrong,” Yuri said out loud, ending my sentence with his words. His bitterness reminded me of Ren.</p><p>“No, just different,” I said, making it clear I wasn’t judging him. </p><p>“Ren told me that you don’t have a connection with the Light,” Yuri said, “I didn’t know what that was like until now.”</p><p>“There was no one to teach me any other way,” I replied, “Ymir was the only Force user I had ever met.”</p><p>“You’re still keeping your aura cloaked,” Yuri said, with a note of hesitation, “Can I feel it, for just a moment?”</p><p>“Okay,” I agreed with a nod. </p><p>I closed my eyes and completely released the hold I had over my energy, <i>reaching</i> for Yuri. Without the hold, the world was so much brighter, so much more in focus. I could feel Ren. I could feel the other Knights meditating; several of them were having a difficult time, wading through bad memories and hurtful experiences. </p><p>I drew myself back in after a few seconds - an instinctual move. </p><p>“That’s incredible,” Yuri said, “You’re different from Lord Ymir, but there is nothing connecting you to the Light.” He paused, and I felt a tick of anger in his chest, “The Darkside doesn’t come naturally to me at all. You felt it. That’s why I’m not a Sith…” He trailed off.</p><p>“Hey, so, I don’t want to stir anything up,” I said, seeing my opening, not wanting Yuri to start wandering into self-loathing, “But I want to know more about your experience, your time at Luke’s Academy.”</p><p>“Why?” Yuri asked, surprised by my interest. </p><p>“I’ve seen a few of Ren’s memories as we’ve worked together, and I wanted to know more about them.”</p><p>“Which ones?” Yuri asked. </p><p>I returned to the Force, showing him the impressions.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Fires are racing through the Academy grounds. </p>
  <p>Smoke billows into the sky. </p>
  <p>I can hear the screams of apprentices as they are cut down.</p>
</blockquote><p>Then I showed Yuri the second set of memories. The more recent ones.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>I’m following Ren, a teenager with a closely shaved head and a braid behind his ear. </p>
  <p>He walks up a path. Ahead of him is a stand-off. </p>
  <p>There are two boys guarding Ren, and four more on the offensive. </p>
  <p>I watch Ren stride forward, pushing the four boys to the ground. </p>
  <p>One of the boys tries to rise. </p>
  <p>Ren runs him through with his blade, blue and steady.</p>
</blockquote><p>Yuri turned on his lightstick, “It’s not easy for me to talk about.”</p><p>“Yeah, I understand that,” I agreed, speaking plainly. </p><p>Yuri laughed, despite himself, “Why do you want to know about our time at the Academy?” he asked. </p><p>I turned on my lightstick as well. The two of us were bathed in blue light, and the crystals around us reflected a rich shade of purple. </p><p>I shrugged, “I mean, it’s something close to me. My father was a war hero for the Rebellion. Everything was so clear. The Rebels and the Resistance are good, the Empire and the First Order are evil. And yet here I am, a Sith, on this planet being turned into a weapon.”</p><p>Yuri’s mouth was twisting to the side, like he was fighting a smile, but his eyes were cold, “You’re trying to figure out why we turned out this way?”</p><p>“Yeah,” I said easily. “I know why I did it. I’m curious about the rest of you.”</p><p>Yuri lost the battle with his expression and cracked a smile, “Okay… it’s just not a very nice story.” </p><p>I settled in, letting him know I was all ears. </p><p>“I was at the Academy for the least amount of time. My parents sent me to Luke when I was ten,” Yuri began, “Ren was thirteen. He had already been training with his uncle for years. I didn’t pick up the lessons easily, and the other kids made fun of me for it, but not Ren. He and Adram always had my back.”</p><p>Something was happening. </p><p>I heard the echoing sounds of boots slapping against the rock. The pace was frantic and uneven. </p><p>Yuri stood up, a look of concern on his face. </p><p>I joined him as one of the Knights came running down down the path, stumbling over indents in the rock and uneven crystal formations. </p><p>“Adram!” Yuri shouted, stepping into his way. </p><p>The Knight skidded to a halt, roughly yanking at his mask. As soon as he pulled it off, he threw it into the distance and I heard it clatter against the crystals. </p><p>Adram was choking, heaving for breath. I could tell that he had been crying. </p><p>“You’re here. You’re with me,” Yuri said, taking a hold of his shoulders. </p><p>Adram let out a low mournful sound, and spat onto the rock beneath him.</p><p>“It’s okay,” I said stepping over, remembering how horrifying my experience had been last time. </p><p>At the sound of my voice, Adram startled, drawing himself up, wiping his sleeve across his face, “Where’s Kylo Ren?” he demanded, anger rising to mask his fear. </p><p>“Adram, take a breath,” Yuri said, “Ren’s not here. It’s me and Siobhan.”</p><p>“But I felt… I followed the energy. It led me here,” Adram said, hating that I was seeing him like this. </p><p>I took a step towards my pack and pulled out a pouch of water. </p><p>“Yuri and I were meditating together. You felt me,” I said, handing him the water. </p><p>Reluctantly, he accepted. </p><p>“You’re alright. I had a shit experience my first time here, too,” I told him. </p><p>Adram didn’t seem comforted. </p><p>“Do you want to tell us what happened?” Yuri asked. </p><p>Adram took a long gulp of water. His eyes flicked towards me, then back to Yuri, “No.”</p><p>Yuri patted his back, “Come and take a seat with us. Siobhan was asking about the Academy.”</p><p>Adram snarled, “Why do you want to know about that?”</p><p>I <i>reached</i> for Adram’s mask and <i>pulled</i> it towards me. I roughly tossed the mask to him. </p><p>“Because I want to,” I said, sensing he’d be more comfortable if I was combative with him. </p><p>It worked. </p><p>Adram closed his mouth and took a seat next to Yuri. </p><p>“I was telling Siobhan about how you and Ren were my only friends at the Academy,” he said with a bitter smile. </p><p>“Did you know that Ren was exploring the Darkside?” I asked, looking between the two men. </p><p>“Of course I did,” Adram said, running his sleeve over his face and securing his mask over his face. </p><p>“How did you wind up at the Academy?” I asked. </p><p>“Luke found me,” he said, his voice becoming monotone through his mask’s ‘feed, “My village was raided by slavers. I was captured when I was five. When Luke and the the Rebellion liberated our planet, he saw that I had a spark of the Force and took me with him.”</p><p>“Shit,” I said, not expecting his answer. </p><p>“So now you’re wondering why I defected?” Adram sneered. </p><p>“Uh, yeah,” I agreed, not responding to his attitude. </p><p>“Luke was a hypocrite,” Adram spat, “I was held captive for all those years, and the Darkside was the only thing that got me through it, using my rage and hate to stay alive. Luke thought he could tame me, and he thought the same thing about Kylo Ren.”</p><p>I wanted to tell Adram that I understood what he had gone through, at least a piece of it. But he was closed off, not ready to listen to anyone. He just wanted to react. </p><p>“That was my experience too,” Yuri said, “Luke talked to us about the underlying balance of the Universe, the Force as an energy for peace and harmony, but every time we had questions he shut us down and tried to control us.”</p><p>“What did he do?” I asked. </p><p>My father had met Luke a handful of times. He told me that there was something about him, something that brought out the good in people. </p><p>“He separated us,” Yuri said, “He made sure we had chores and responsibilities in different parts of the Academy, that we took our lessons at different times. It was hell for me. Kylo Ren and Adram were my only friends, so of course we took every opportunity we had to meet up and train together. I think it made the Darkside more appealing.”</p><p>I felt Ren’s presence headed our way. My head turned his direction before we heard the sound of his boots against the stone floor. </p><p>“Over here!” Yuri called, raising an arm. </p><p>Ren emerged from the darkness in his hood and mask. </p><p>He looked between the three of us bathed in soft blue light. </p><p>I could almost feel his eyebrow arching behind the mask as he appraised the situation. </p><p>“Adram, I felt you earlier,” Ren said, his tone was blank through his mask.</p><p>“I… had a difficult time. I thought I had found you, but it was Siobhan and Yuri,” Adram said. </p><p>Ren looked between the three of us, still trying to figure out what was going on. </p><p>“I was asking Yuri about his experience at the Academy with Luke,” I volunteered. </p><p>“And you were telling her the story?” Ren said, looking at Yuri. </p><p>Through the audiofeed I could not guess how he felt about it. </p><p>“We were just getting to the good part,” Yuri said, with a sarcastic glint in his eye, “When Luke encouraged us to start meeting in secret.”</p><p>Ren crossed his arms over his chest. After all of our fighting. He didn’t expect me to be asking about him - sitting with his men. </p><p>“I didn’t tell them that Lord Ymir and Snoke were trying to turn me. Not until the end,” Ren said, sourly, taking a seat with us. </p><p>“Luke had sensed us, of course,” Adram said, “The other students found out that we were training in the Darkside and they rejected us.”</p><p>“I know that Luke reached out to his sister around that time,” Ren said, “I think he was planning to disband the Academy, but he decided against it.” </p><p>Luke’s sister… Ren meant his own mother, General Leia Organa. </p><p>“The three of us had talked about leaving before Luke put us on lockdown,” Adram said, “We had a plan.”</p><p>“Then Luke tried to kill Ren,” Yuri said, his voice heavy, “The two of us saw it in a flash of memory.”</p><p>“The other apprentices heard the sound of the fight, and then Ren shared his true power, his connection with the Darkside,” Adram said, his voice filled with awe. </p><p>I thought that they would continue. I thought they’d tell me about the fight with the other apprentices, but suddenly no one wanted to talk about the actual details. </p><p>“Luke hesitated,” Ren said, “That’s the only reason I’m alive.” </p><p>I had no idea where he was going with this. He had my full attention. </p><p>“He hesitated because of his ideals,” Ren continued, and I could hear the determination in his voice, “If Luke had been willing to strike me down in his moment of fear and anger, it would have opened him up to the Darkside. He couldn’t do it. That gave me time to defend myself. That’s why the Resistance is going to fail, too. They will never be willing to do what they need to.”</p><p>I could feel Ren’s emotions surging again, there was pride and anger, and I felt Yuri and Adram responding to him. I sent a tendril of my awareness deeper - behind those strong feelings was guilt and doubt. </p><p>He stood up, “This is the start of our Sith Empire,” he said, looking at me, seated on the floor with his two closest friends, “We are going to turn these Kyber crystals into a weapon like the Galaxy has never seen before. We’ll be victorious, because we won’t hesitate!”</p><p>I saw the look in Yuri’s eyes. He respected Ren. He admired Ren’s strength and conviction - outcasts from the Jedi Academy, bound together in their pain. </p><p>I felt a ripple of energy from the Kyber crystals, that awful chorus rising up. </p><p>“They can feel it too,” I said, my voice soft, “They know what they’re being used for.”</p><p>“In service to the Darkside,” Ren said. </p><p>“To the Darkside!” Yuri and Adram echoed. </p><p>My mind was reeling from all the new information, from listening to the way these men understood their experience. </p><p>Afterwards, Ren went off with Adram. Yuri decided to take time to practice by himself. </p><p>I was left by myself in the cavern, figuring my way through Ren, Yuri, and Adram’s story. When three teenagers killed all the apprentices of Luke Skywalker’s Academy. </p><p>I had no idea how long it had been. I was completely exhausted, looking forward to taking a long nap when we got back to Base. </p><p>I sank myself into a meditation that wasn’t far from sleep. </p><p>Sometime later, Ren sent his energy towards us, letting us know it was time to leave. </p><p>We gathered in the main cave and ascended the ropes, using a slow system of loops and friction devices to take us up. </p><p>My shoulder was ready to give out by the end and there were tears in my eyes as I pulled myself over the lip. </p><p>The men were gathered in the cave, waiting for Ren to come up last. </p><p>I didn’t hang around. I walked to the entrance, letting my backpack dangle off my left shoulder. </p><p>It was daytime. The sun felt like it was directly overhead, but with all the clouds it was hard to tell. </p><p>I was not looking forward to our hike down the mountain. </p><p>I watched a pair of TIE fighters scream overhead and I fantasized about calling them down to pick me up. </p><p>
  <b>V</b>
</p><p>Our group moved slowly. </p><p>Everyone was exhausted. There was a difference to the silence of our group. We were all  wrapped up in our own thoughts, trying to process our experiences in the cavern. </p><p>Ren was at the back of the group, his leg giving him trouble after the ascent from the cave. </p><p>I was exhausted. Thankfully, I didn’t need to lead the way down. The Knights remembered the route, and there were our tracks in the snow for when memory failed. </p><p>After we made it below the treeline, I found myself drifting towards the back of the group, getting closer to Ren and Adram. </p><p>I didn’t want to be walking with him, but it was too much effort to keep up the pace with the men in front. </p><p>The three of us walked together in silence for an hour. </p><p>My shoulder kept yelling at me, feeling raw under the weight of my pack. </p><p>“We can build a new order here, on this planet,” Ren said, his voice low through the ‘feed in his mask, “I don’t want us to be working against each other.”</p><p>Fuck. This again?</p><p>“Then how about you stop picking fights with me?” I scowled, readjusting my backpack. </p><p>Ren motioned to Adram, who picked up the pace, joining the rest of the men up ahead. </p><p>Ren was silent for longer than I expected, considering he had just waved his second-in-command away. </p><p>I walked next to him, running out of patience. </p><p>“None of your men had any respect for me. I know that was all because of you,” I growled, hating that I was the one to break the silence between us. </p><p>“You helped Yuri and Adram,” Ren finally said, “You could have dismissed them.”</p><p>“Yuri was the only one that wasn’t a dick to me.”</p><p>“He has too much of the Light in him,” Ren replied. </p><p>It took me a second to realize he was making a joke. </p><p>I sighed. </p><p>“I just want to be able to work with you,” Ren said, “For so long it’s just been me and Lord Ymir. I want to see the rise of the Sith in the Galaxy.” He paused. “You have Yuri’s respect. Adram might be less forthcoming, but he can see how powerful you are.”</p><p>Two out of six. I’d take it. </p><p>“Sure, I can work with you,” I said, “As long as you stay out of my way.”</p><p>Ren started to speak, then changed his mind. </p><p>The silence stretched between us, tense and thin. </p><p>We continued our path down the mountain, taking breaks along the way. </p><p>I moved towards the middle of the pack, slowly discovering that I was walking with Kav, Ghent, and Thalin. </p><p>I tried to remember the names and the masks they belonged to. </p><p>Finally, we were close enough to hear faint sounds from the base. They were the sounds of thousands of feet marching, and shouted orders echoing across the concrete yard. </p><p>The Base. </p><p>Now it felt like salvation. I could hop into the main building and call a medic droid to look at my wounded shoulder. I’d be able to sleep in a real bed - not my shitty bunk or a seat in Rosie’s cockpit. </p><p>I was sick of being cold. I was sick of being tired. </p><p>As we approached the Base, I got a faint whiff of t’bac carried on the crisp breeze. </p><p>I turned my head. Ren followed, sensing someone out in the woods. </p><p>“That’s out of place,” I heard him say, setting off the the direction I had smelled smoke. </p><p>I walked over to him, putting a hand on his forearm.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>It’s just a soldier.</p>
</blockquote><p>“They shouldn’t be out here,” Ren insisted, and I shushed him. </p><p>Adram made a sharp glance my way. </p><p>“This is exactly what I was talking about,” I hissed, “Let me handle it.”</p><p>Ren didn’t move. </p><p>“Shit, I’ll talk with Phasma after. Just let me handle it,” I insisted. </p><p>Ren turned towards his Knights and motioned for them to keep following their path towards the Base.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Report to me afterwards.</p>
</blockquote><p>Good fucking luck with that. I didn’t answer to Ren. </p><p>The Knights continued on their way, Ren at the back of the group. </p><p>I set off through the woods, looking for the soldier who was dodging their drills. </p><p>I moved slowly and carefully, not wanting to scare them off. </p><p>Anyone who had managed to find a hiding spot in this kind of environment was automatically interesting to me. They were my kind of people.</p><p>I saw the soldier before they saw me. </p><p>The person was smaller than I expected, couched in the snow behind a large fallen log. Their immediate giveaway was the wisp of t’bac smoke rising into the frigid air. </p><p>There was a small clearing, a tiny space between the trees. I spotted another log and the remnants of a fire. My guess was that there would be a pack of cards and a few bottles of alcohol stashed away. </p><p>As I emerged from the trees, the soldier heard me and bolted, staying low, the log providing cover. </p><p>“Hold up,” I <i>commanded</i> gently reaching out a hand.</p><p>The soldier stood up and turned towards me, compelled by the Force. </p><p>They were not what I expected to see - a small and scrawny human, with simple geometric tattoos across their cheeks. </p><p>“Come on back,” I encouraged releasing my hold, “You got an extra smoke to share?” I asked, taking a seat on top of one of the logs, brushing snow away. </p><p>The soldier approached me slowly, like a nervous animal. I couldn’t blame them. </p><p>I glanced down in the snow behind the log, finding several cloudy, glass bottles filled with some dark, sludgy liquid. </p><p>I picked up one of the bottles, swirling the contents. </p><p>The soldier was within a meter of the log they had hidden behind. </p><p>“I’m Siobhan,” I said, maintaining my disinterested attitude, “Who’re you?”</p><p>“Thess,” the soldier replied. From the voice and shape of their fatigues I guessed the soldier was a girl.</p><p>She took a seat on top of the log, glancing my way with large eyes - such a pale color of green, they were almost yellow. </p><p>The soldier was tiny, maybe forty kilos. She wore her fatigues rolled up at the wrists and ankles. Her thermals peeked out from underneath.</p><p>“Got an extra smoke?” I repeated. </p><p>“Oh yah, sure,” the soldier said nervously, twisting around to dig in the shattered end of the log. </p><p>Galactic Standard wasn’t her first language. </p><p>The soldier dug around in the log and pulled out a mangled, hand-rolled smoke. She lit the end with the stub of one still in her mouth, and brought it over to me. </p><p>I took it and brought it to my lips, luxuriating in the inhale. This was such a welcome change from Ren and his posse of Knights. I hadn’t realized just how tense I had been until now. </p><p>“You come from where?” Thess asked, taking a perch on the other log, wrapping her arms around her knees. Her eyes darted around the clearing, avoiding looking at me directly. </p><p>I noticed that her tattoos extended down her hands - simple patterns of lines and dots. </p><p>“Tevel,” I answered, looking her way. “Thanks for the smoke,” I added. </p><p>We sat in silence for a few beats, each of us trying to figure the other one out.</p><p>She had no idea who I was or if she could trust me. For all she knew, I was an officer drawing out her inevitable punishment.  </p><p>“I can’t place your accent,” I said, tapping ash into the snow, “Are you from Fedje?”</p><p>“I’m Ithan. We’re small group on Fedje,” she answered. </p><p>Her voice had a strange quality to it, somewhere between a babbling stream and a whisper. </p><p>Suddenly, she became more serious, her eyes boring into me, brows furrowing, “No one from Tevel. What’s real? Who you are?”</p><p>The change in her attitude and the confusing question took me off guard. I couldn’t help myself but laugh. </p><p>“I’m Siobhan Zhang. I’m a Sith,” I told her, taking a drag from my smoke, and blowing it out into the frigid air. </p><p>Thess’ expression narrowed as she thought about my response. She took an intense pull from her smoke, looking away from me, “Oh, a Sith, yah?” I heard her mutter. </p><p>I had no idea if she even understood what that word meant. </p><p>This soldier was so unusual. I immediately liked her, and wondered if she was part of the group destined for hard labor. </p><p>“So what did you do on Fedje, before coming here?” I asked, making my tone as casual as possible. </p><p>“Transport pilot,” she answered, flicking the stub of t’bac into the snow. </p><p>I wondered if that meant she was a smuggler, or if her grasp of Galactic Standard was just really bad. Either option seemed possible. </p><p>I turned around and picked up one of the bottles from the snow. </p><p>There was a cork in the neck and I opened it, taking a sniff of the contents. </p><p>It smelled like engine degreaser. </p><p>“This is alcohol right?” I asked wrinkling my nose. </p><p>“Yah,” Thess answered. </p><p>I handed her the bottle, “You first.”</p><p>She took a gulp and handed the bottle back to me. I joined her. </p><p>It was awful, even worse than Flip’s moonshine back on Otomok. I tapped my chest with my fist a few times before taking another swig. </p><p>I offered the bottle to Thess one more time, but she shook her head. I put the cork in the neck and stuck it back in the snow. </p><p>“Well, I know you’re late for drills,” I said, “I’ll take you back to the Base and make sure you don’t get in any trouble.”</p><p>Thess was standing up now. She only came up to my shoulders. After all this time with the First Order, I had gotten used to people towering over me. It was very strange to meet someone shorter. </p><p>We wound our way through the forest together. Thess let me take the lead, probably so that she wouldn’t reveal the path that the soldiers took to their hideout. </p><p>“So how many of y’all come out here?” I asked, genuinely curious about the people that managed to sneak out under Phasma’s nose. </p><p>“Don’t want answer,” Thess murmured, her expression pinched and serious, not looking my way. </p><p>I laughed, “I respect that,” I told her, “Me and my friends used to have a spot just like yours when I was in basic.”</p><p>The difference was that the Resistance didn’t really care, as long as we were on time for everything else. </p><p>Thess swung her head around towards me. Her massive, almost-yellow eyes were startling. She was clearly trying to figure out if I was bullshitting her or not. </p><p>For all she knew, I could be escorting her to the brig. </p><p>“So, are you a pilot here?” I asked after a couple of minutes of walking. </p><p>My shoulder was on fire. I needed to go to the medbay. </p><p>“Yah. After basic.” she said. </p><p>We were close enough to make out the rear of the barracks and a couple of hangars. I could hear the exact shouts of the drill sergeants. </p><p>“Look,” I began, “I’ll drop you off at the barracks and make up a cover story. The rest is up to you, alright?” </p><p>“Yah,” she replied with a small nod. </p><p>We approached the back door of the nearest barracks hall. I was greeted with the familiar sights and smells of thousands of people living and working together in close quarters. </p><p>I heard officers yelling at their units, the formalized call-backs responding in unison. </p><p>I moved my hands to my hips, making sure my lightsabers were visible, projecting authority. As soon as an officer crossed my path, they stopped and saluted, eyes darting between my lightsabers, my casual clothing, and Thess walking in front of me. </p><p>“I had a meeting with this soldier,” I said, “Make sure they get where they need to go.” </p><p>“Yes, Madam Siniang,” the officer replied. </p><p>I had no idea how he knew my name. Honestly, it didn’t matter. The First Order was a well-oiled machine - I was glad when it worked out in my favor. </p><p>Thess turned around, meeting my eyes one last time, “Thanks.” she said. </p><p>I’d probably never see this soldier again. I couldn’t imagine someone like her surviving these conditions. The next time I returned to Starkiller Base, she’d probably be assigned to one of the digging crews until her back gave out. </p><p>“It was nice to meet you,” I replied. </p><p>I watched her go, turning a corner down a hallway, then I continued forward to the front door. </p><p>I needed the medbay.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks so much for reading! </p><p>I wrote this well before TROS came out, and I have to admit, I really wish they had done more with The Knights of Ren in the movie. I definitely caught myself projecting a bit.  </p><p>Our next chapter will give Siobhan a new opportunity to make progress on her assignment, and we’ll see how she handles her changing relationship with Ren. </p><p>As always, thanks so much for following this story. I love to hear your thoughts in the comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Setbacks and Breakthroughs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kylo Ren tried to knock Siobhan down a peg in front of his Knights. Instead he lost the match. </p><p>Siobhan was able to connect with one of Ren's Knights, a man who had followed him since Luke’s Jedi Academy, finally learning more about the evening that Luke tried to kill Ren. </p><p>In this chapter, we see Siobhan working to strike a deal with the Hutts and establish a partnership with her close friend, Ahobri.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>I</b>
</p><p>I pulled aside the next officer I encountered, and asked him to point me to the medbay.</p><p>I could have had a medical droid sent up to my private room in the the main building but, now that I was here in the the soldiers quarters, I wanted to see how they were experiencing the Base.  </p><p>The officer, in his smart black uniform and heavy coat, insisted on escorting me. I passed over my backpack for him to carry. I was happy to take advantage of my status.</p><p>My shoulder was warm and throbbing with pain. I prodded at it with my fingers, through the coat and layers of thermals.</p><p>I followed the officer through the tiny village of barracks-buildings, bustling with units of soldiers moving to and from their quarters. </p><p>The medbay was busier than I expected, filled with units of soldiers all waiting in neat rows. With their closely-buzzed hair and identical black fatigues, it was impossible to tell them apart. </p><p>I thought about the tiny soldier I had just met, with her tattoos and scrawny frame. </p><p>Military nurses in white coats moved down the rows of soldiers with tablets and medical instruments, asking questions and taking blood samples with a small cylindrical device, an assistant changing needles between each person. </p><p>“Madam Siniang,” the officer said, turning towards me, “I’m sorry, it looks like they’re doing health evaluations today.”</p><p>“That’s fine,” I said, watching the process. </p><p>“I can call a medic for you, or we can go to the main building…” he said. </p><p>This one deserved a raise; he hadn’t acted nervous around me, and here he was solving problems. </p><p>I spotted a flash of red hair at the end of the hall. I raised my arm and waved. </p><p>Astrid turned, a puzzled look on her face as she recognized me. She walked over with a tablet in her hand and two assistants in tow. </p><p>“Lin, what are you doing here?” she asked, with a prim look, but there was a sparkle in her blue eyes. </p><p>“I got a scrape during a sparring match,” I said with an easy smile, “And I was feeling nostalgic, so I thought I’d check out the military medbay.”</p><p>Astrid sighed and shook her head, directing her assistants to go attend to other staff. </p><p>“Follow me,” Astrid said. </p><p>I dismissed the officer who had helped me with a handshake and a 'thank you.' </p><p>Astrid took me out from the crowded main room to a hallway. As soon as the doors closed behind us, the decibel level dropped. </p><p>“So, what happened?” Astrid asked, once we were inside an exam room, “You're looking better than you did the last time I saw you.”</p><p>I dropped my coat over a chair. “Thanks, Astrid, ” I said with a wince.</p><p>There was a seared hole in my shirt and thermal, curving around my arm and shoulder, from where Ren’s lightsaber had dug in. </p><p>Astrid noticed it immediately. “Is that a burn?” she asked, as I lifted the layers of shirts over my head. </p><p>I stood in my bra and utility pants, black med tape wrapped around my bicep and shoulder.</p><p>“Ren and I were sparring. He caught me with his lightsaber.”</p><p>We had been outside for a whole day. In the cold weather I hadn’t taken off any of my layers to look at the injury. The skin beneath the med tape was red and swollen. </p><p>There was also a pattern of ugly, fading bruises, left behind from Ren’s teeth.</p><p>Astrid made a concerned frown and started preparing supplies, “How long ago?” she asked, taking out disinfectant, salves, and more med tape. </p><p>“I dunno, eight hours? Twelve?”</p><p>She activated a floating tray, set the supplies on top, then joined me at the exam table. She pulled on a pair of black latex gloves.</p><p>“And what about those?” she said, tilting her chin towards the other marks along my skin.</p><p>“That’s Ren too.”</p><p>Astrid started to peel back the med tape Yuri had applied. I scowled, making a small hiss of pain as the tape pulled at the wound. She pressed her lips together when she saw the injury. </p><p>My skin was seared and raw; the entire area was inflamed; blisters had formed under the tape. </p><p>Astrid made a sharp ‘tut’ when she saw the damage. She picked up an instrument and began scanning the wound, slowly moving across my upper arm and shoulder. </p><p>“I went with Ren and his Knights to help them train in the caves,” I said, getting ahead of her questions, “He started a sparring match and, rather than lose in front of his men, he decided to get physical.”</p><p>My lips were twisting bitterly. </p><p>Astrid stopped her work, “Siobhan…” she began. </p><p>I grimaced, not meaning to tell her everything, “Look, I know it puts you in a bad position…”</p><p>“Siobhan,” this time Astrid was stern, “I was on the Finalizer for five years as Kylo Ren’s medic. I’m not surprised to hear this.”</p><p>I shrugged, immediately wincing as the movement pulled at the injury, “I still won. I got him in the leg.”</p><p>“It’s not my responsibility to report this,” Astrid said, “You can talk to me.”</p><p>I snorted, “I’m going to have to bring it up with Ymir.”</p><p>“Are you worried about the consequences?” Astrid asked, resuming her work on my injury. </p><p>“No. I just really don’t want to get into it with him.”</p><p>It was going to be another conversation - another series of lectures about discipline and responsibility. </p><p>“Thanks for telling me about this,” Astrid said, “I’m your friend. I want to be able to help you.”</p><p>I reached a hand up to hers and met her eyes, “Thanks, Astrid.”</p><p>After everything that had happened with Ren and his Knights, I was glad to have a friend. </p><p>When she first met me, I was a Resistance prisoner. The next time we saw each other, when Ymir returned for me on Korriban, Ren had assigned her to be my medic. We had a fling on Ymir’s Estate, a secret affair. </p><p>It felt like we had passed that stage. She was in charge of an entire medical department, and she didn’t want the First Order rumor mill talking about her. It would create too many problems. </p><p>She finished examining the burn and pressed a button on the device, waiting for results. “Vice Admiral Hux told me a little bit about your new assignment. How’s it going?”</p><p>I laughed, “Hux told you about my assignment? When did he have the time?”</p><p>Astrid gave me a knowing smile, “Oh he makes the rounds. Some people seem to get more attention than others.”</p><p>“Aw fuck,” I groaned, “Well, I’m stationed on the Finalizer now, so if you need him to back off I can give him a good scare.”</p><p>“I’ll let you know.”</p><p>Astrid got to work, taking care of the burn. </p><p>I gave her the highlights of my last couple of jobs, telling her about meeting Dax on Takodana, flying him around on a wild good chase, helping him with a pick up, all so that I could sit down for ten minutes with Arjun. </p><p>I liked making her laugh - seeing her eyes sparkle, her red lips curling into a smile. </p><p>It would be nice to spend some time with her without being injured, or recovering from an injury. </p><p>“So, this is worse than the last lightsaber wound I treated,” she said at the end, applying some kind of cool salve across my skin. </p><p>I closed my eyes, appreciating the relief after so many hours of pain. </p><p>“I expect this to be healed in three weeks. You need to change the dressing and apply this salve twice a day. I know you’re doing physical training, but stop if it becomes painful. or it will just take longer to heal.”</p><p>She cut two pieces of medtape from a patch and smoothed it over the wound. </p><p>“Thanks,” I told her, reaching for my thermals and shirt. </p><p>Astrid paused, tilting her head to the side in thought, “Look, it’s really not my place to say this. I don’t know anything about the Sith...” she began. </p><p>I was in the middle of pulling on my coat. I turned towards her. </p><p>She frowned, bringing a knuckle to her lower lip, “But you say what you mean, so I’ll do the same.”</p><p>I flashed a sharp smile. </p><p>Astrid took a breath, “I was Kylo Ren’s medic for years, and I saw him training to the point of injury. I saw him after battles, and I’m seeing the same thing with you, and… I worry about you, Siobhan. It’s a dangerous path you’re on.”</p><p>I took a step towards Astrid and she pulled me in for a hug, squeezing me tightly. </p><p>We broke apart, and I was reaching for her again, running a thumb down her smooth cheek. </p><p>I drew her to me for a kiss. It was long and sweet. </p><p>When our lips parted, Astrid was blushing furiously.</p><p>“Just take care of yourself, alright,” she said, meeting my eyes. </p><p>“I’ll do my best,” I said with a smile, brushing my lips against hers one last time before I left.</p><p>***</p><p>I left the medbay with a bounce in my step, breezing past the rows of soldiers and returning to the yard. </p><p>For a moment, even the cold didn’t bother me. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> my awareness through the base, searching for Ren and his Knights, but I couldn’t find anything. </p><p>They must have headed back to the Finalizer. </p><p>I decided to go back to Rosie and figure out what I was doing next. </p><p>I was stuck on my current assignment. My only orders from Ymir had been to train with Ren and his Knights, and that was over now. </p><p>When I entered the hangar, I noticed the half-filled TIE fighter arrays. Ren’s big fancy ship was gone. So they had definitely gone up to their Star Destroyer. </p><p>I climbed aboard Rosie, grabbing a packet of moco on my way. </p><p>I needed to get an actual meal in me. I had been living off of snacks and calorie pouches for days now. </p><p>As I settled into the cockpit, I booted up the console to check for any messages from Arjun or Ekene. </p><p>There was a light blinking on the console. </p><p>It was from Ahobri. My heart skipped a beat. </p><p>I shoved the packet of moco on my dashboard and opened my messages. [I want to help you. Talked with Jukhara about the deal. Call me for an update.]</p><p>“Yes!” I shouted, pumping my fist. </p><p>Ahobri was in! I knew that she would come through for me. </p><p>I called her private line at The Outpost, the one she used for high-profile clients. </p><p>She answered, but her voice was foggy, like I had woken her up. I couldn’t see anything in my videofeed on the console. </p><p>“Siobhan, it’s good to hear from you,” she said through a yawn. It sounded like she had been drinking. </p><p>“Shit, did I just wake you up?”</p><p>“Yeah, but I can talk,” she said, and the videofeed popped up, crackling and blue. Ahobri wiped at her eyes, smudging her make-up. </p><p>It must have been a good night. </p><p>“I thought about it, and I’ve decided I want to help you with this deal,” she continued. </p><p>“Fuck, you are so amazing,” I said, with a big, dumb grin on my face. </p><p>“I’m not doing this for free,” Ahobri replied, twirling the end of a headtail. </p><p>“Oh don’t worry. I am definitely going to throw some money your way,” I said, “Did you talk with Jukhara about setting up a meeting with Joll?”</p><p>“Jukhara isn’t going to budge on that,” Ahobri said, sounding more businesslike. “I have a client who’s a bookie for the Uhdea family, he works in their biggest casino on Zeltros. I talked with Jukhara about it, and she says it’s fine if I want to help you get a meeting through him.”</p><p>This was not exactly what I had in mind. </p><p>“Ah, so we’re talking about climbing up their chain of command?” I said. </p><p>“That’s the best I can offer,” Ahobri said, “He works directly under Coba, so he has good connections.”</p><p>Coba Lanz ran the gambling scene on Zeltros. That was definitely the kind of connection I wanted to make. </p><p>“That’s good for me. When can you set up the meeting?”</p><p>“I’m going to be with him on Zeltros for a couple of days. How soon can you get out here?”</p><p>“I’ll pack my bags right now,” I replied with a wide smile, “I’ll pay you five hundred for the meeting - if we can get to Coba.”</p><p>“See you on Zeltros,” Ahobri said, “I’ll send you updates on this line.”</p><p>“Sounds good. One thing, though - for this job, I want you to call me Mara Zhang. It’ll make things less complicated.” I told her. </p><p>Ahobri smiled, “I can do that. Love you.”</p><p>“Love you, too.”</p><p>Ahobri ended the call. </p><p>I punched the air one more time. </p><p>This was perfect. It was exactly what I needed. </p><p>I warmed up Rosie’s engines and cleared my ship for departure. </p><p>I skimmed through atmosphere, starting to make a checklist in my head. </p><p>I wouldn’t need much. My money was already stashed on Rosie. My tablet was packed. If I was meeting with the Hutts, I would need juicy intelligence to share, and good clothes. </p><p>The Uhdeas were a particularly wealthy branch of the Hutt family. I was able to impress Arjun with a few hundred thousand credits, but the Uhdeas worked with that kind of money daily. I needed to show them how deep my pockets were to get their attention. </p><p>I contacted the Finalizer, confirming my space in Hangar One. I opened the floor panels in my ship, and told a mechanic to unload the empty crates and top Rosie off with fuel. Then I was off to my quarters, moving swiftly down the hallways. If I stayed focused I could be off this ship in an hour. </p><p>Tasha was waiting in my room. </p><p>“Hey,” I greeted, “I asked Ymir to bring you back to the Estate. Did anyone talk to you about that?”</p><p>“Yes, madam,” Tasha said, rising to her feet, “I’ll be on a shuttle two days from now.”</p><p>“Perfect,” I replied, “I don’t want you clocking more hours on this ship than I am.”</p><p>Tasha just smiled and gave an amused shake of her head. I was already moving towards the bathroom. </p><p>“I just got an update on my assignment. I want to get out of here in the next hour. Could you get someone to bring up a meal and pull out some nice clothes? Let’s make it three outfits - shoes, jewelry, make-up, the works. I need them to know I have money.”</p><p>“Yes, madam,” Tasha said. </p><p>I dropped my clothes on the bathroom floor, wanting to avoid Tasha fussing over me and my new injuries. I bathed quickly, scrubbing the past few days of sweat and grit off. I was careful with my wounded arm and shoulder. </p><p>I wondered if Ren had already talked with Ymir about our violent exchange. My guess was that he would try to say I had provoked him. I refused to waste my time worrying about it. </p><p>Tasha brought me my poncho and leggings and I took a moment to appreciate the comfy clothes. There was a meal waiting for me on a table by the large window in my bedroom. </p><p>I hadn’t realized just how hungry I was. </p><p>I ate quickly, so happy to have meat and vegetables after so many half-assed meals of starch and military-issued calories. </p><p>My wardrobe was all that I had left to prepare. </p><p>Tasha had a floating dolly with six different dresses, in all different colors and styles. </p><p>I realized a problem as I looked through them. </p><p>“Fuck, I have to keep my shoulders and arms covered up,” I said, frowning as I looked at a beautiful, blue, silk gown that I wouldn’t be able to wear. </p><p>“Madam?” Tasha asked. </p><p>I hung the dress back up on the rod. </p><p>“The scars on my arm, the bruises. Ordinarily I wouldn’t give a shit, but I can’t have them visible for this job. Got anything with a high neck and covered arms?”</p><p>Tasha pursed her lips together and moved towards a wall panel. It wasn’t my usual style. </p><p>There was a buzz at my console. </p><p>I strode across my bedroom, through the sitting room, to my door. </p><p>“Yuri,” I said, looking him up and down. </p><p>He had shaved and was dressed in much more casual clothing, still in all black, just like Ren. He had on a simple tunic and utility pants, the hems tucked into his boots. </p><p>“I just heard that you arrived,” he said, “Thought I’d say hello. All of us are staying on this hall.”</p><p>“Shit, that’s why there are so many rooms up here?” I said with a grin, motioning for him to enter. “Want a drink?” </p><p>“Sure,” Yuri said, looking around the sitting room, the leather furniture and First Order banners, “We don’t get liquor cabinets.”</p><p>I laughed, pouring each of us a glass of whiskey. </p><p>“Well, I’m about to hit the road, so feel free to sneak in if you need some time away from the boys,” I said. </p><p>Yuri was smiling as we touched glasses, “Leaving so soon?”</p><p>“Yeah, I just got an update on my mission. I’m working to get a meeting with the Hutts,” I said, returning to my bedroom to see if Tasha had found some outfits I could use, “What’s next for you?”</p><p>“Not sure,” Yuri said, “I know we’ll be going to Coyerti, but that won’t be for a little while.”</p><p>“They seem to keep y’all pretty busy,” I said. </p><p>“Lord Ymir tries his best,” Yuri replied, taking a sip of his drink. </p><p>“Take a seat anywhere,” I told him, seeing a new collection of dresses on the floating dolly. </p><p>“Um, I wanted to have a conversation with you. I’ll keep it brief.” </p><p>I noticed his eyes moving to Tasha, standing politely out of the way. I gave her a nod and she left the room. </p><p>“Thanks, Siobhan,” Yuri said. </p><p>He looked uncomfortable. It was a strange sight. He was a big man, not quite as tall as Ren and the other men, but he had very wide shoulders, thick arms, and a waist like a tree trunk. </p><p>Right now, both of his hands circled his whiskey glass, twisting around the smooth surface.</p><p>Yuri looked down, deciding what he was going to say. </p><p>I waited. </p><p>“What we talked about in the caves, about the Academy. That isn’t a public story. The other Knights don’t even know about it.”</p><p>“Of course, Yuri.” I said, taking a few steps towards him. </p><p>“I appreciate it, Siobhan,” he said with a stiff nod, “You saw the memories anyway, so I felt alright about telling you. I think Lord Ymir is the only other person that knows about that night.”</p><p>Ekene’s words rose up in my mind, ‘Ren’s posse of defected Jedi.’ Now that I knew the story, I just saw three lost young men, rejected by their teachers and their families. </p><p>I understood the feeling; I remembered the fear in my mother’s eyes when I came home bloodied and bruised from fighting. There was no way for her to understand why I was doing it, why I needed it. All she saw was violence. I scared her.</p><p>I nodded, reaching out to Yuri’s forearm, meeting his gentle brown eyes. </p><p>“How’s Adram doing?” I asked. </p><p>“Better,” Yuri said, “He was shaken up by his meditation. Kylo helped him a lot.”</p><p>I arched an eyebrow without thinking. </p><p>Yuri noticed my expression and took another sip of his drink, “Kylo was out of line on the mountainside. We all saw it.”</p><p>But Yuri was the only one to step in and help. </p><p>He continued, “I feel like I get a different story every time he talks about you.”</p><p>I took a long pull of my drink, a mean smile curling my lips. </p><p>Yuri met my eyes, “But one of the first things he ever said was that you’re brave. I agree with that.”</p><p>I made a gentle snort, dismissing the second-hand praise.</p><p>“I’ll get out of your hair so you can finish your mission prep,” Yuri said, tilting the rest of the drink back. </p><p>“Yuri, thanks for your help out there,” I said as he turned to leave, “I really enjoyed meeting you. I hope it’s not too long before we see each other again.”</p><p>“Same,” he replied with a smile, patting me on my uninjured shoulder as he left my quarters. </p><p>***</p><p>I packed the clothes, the dresses neatly sealed away in bags. </p><p>I made one final sweep of my ship, making sure there was nothing aboard that would reveal me as First Order. </p><p>After settling into the cockpit, I decided to contact Ymir. </p><p>I wasn’t ready to talk to him about my fight with Ren. I didn’t want to re-hash everything that had happened in the caves, so I typed up a message:</p><p>[A secondary contact is pulling through on the Hutts. I’m off to Zeltros. Going to be at least two days before I have an update. Trained in the Kyber caves with Ren and his Knights. Ren started a fight during a sparring match. You’ll probably hear his version first. You can ask Yuri about it while I’m traveling.]</p><p>I sent the message and left the Finalizer, pushing out into the empty silence of the Unknown Regions. </p><p>Zeltros was a twelve-hour hyperspace jump away. I set the coordinates and entered the swirling blue. </p><p>
  <b>II</b>
</p><p>I spent a full eight hours sleeping in my narrow bunk. After spending an entire day and night hiking and meditating, I needed it. </p><p>When the alarm went off, I crawled out of bed, made some caffeine, and changed the two bandages wrapped around my shoulder. </p><p>The swelling around the burn had gone down. The wound didn’t feel hot anymore. Still, I avoided looking at the injury as much as possible, rubbing the salve in and quickly covering it with medtape. </p><p>Another scar. </p><p>This year was etching itself into my skin, my story unfolding through my injuries. </p><p>With a frown, I changed into fresh clothing, keeping the poncho wrapped around me. </p><p>I had three hours to finish preparing for my meeting with the Hutts. </p><p>Once I landed on Zeltros, I needed to be on my A-game. The Uhdeas were wily, and I’d be connecting with them through one of their lower associates. </p><p>I doubted that I would be able to work my way up to Boz on this trip, but I needed to make real progress. Coba would be a good start, but I wanted to get farther up the ladder.</p><p>Having Ahobri at my side made me want to put in more effort. I wanted her to join me, so I needed to impress her. She needed to see that I was prepared, that I knew what I was doing. </p><p>I settled into the captain’s chair, turned on my music, and began reviewing intelligence files on my tablet. </p><p>Jukhara was right. I was nobody to the Uhdeas. They had no reason to meet with me, so I had to find a way to make myself valuable to them. If I just offered them money, they’d take it and keep punting me off until I ran dry. I needed to give them real information, to show that I was connected and could benefit the family. </p><p>I spent three hours reading through the First Order’s intelligence reports, trying to find something that the Uhdeas couldn’t ignore. </p><p>By the end of my reading, I had pulled three files that seemed promising. One had information about a prominent Senator who had his hand in the Hutts' pockets; he was embezzling money from them and hiding it in secret accounts. The next was a report that confirmed two of the top men in the Uhdea family were reporting to the New Republic in secret. The last had information on a schedule of stings the Kastolar Sector had planned, to keep the Uhdeas from expanding their operations along their border. </p><p>I saved the files on three separate data cards, marking the corners with a black pen from my cargo bay, and tucked them inside my tablet case. </p><p>Coordinating through Ahobri’s client was going to be a pain in the ass. The Hutt family was just as formal as the First Order. They were incredibly rigid about rank and protocol. </p><p>I had to present exactly what they wanted to see. I couldn’t let any of the Hutts see my ship - it would undermine my show of wealth, and the less information they could gather on me, the better. </p><p>I wanted to show up, have the conversations I needed to have, then disappear again. </p><p>During the last half-hour of my trip, I showered and put on a nice outfit. I had tight black pants, and a jade-green silk shirt that dipped low in the front but covered my arms and shoulders. I shrugged on the tailored black vest and put on a lot of jewelry - gold rings on my fingers, a long elegant necklace, and earrings that glittered. </p><p>Tasha had packed a beautiful pair of leather boots that had a good heel and hugged close to my calves. I pulled them on, turning my leg to admire them. </p><p>By the end, I looked gorgeous and intimidating. Exactly what I wanted. </p><p>Next, I needed to pack a kit bag. </p><p>If I was able to get to Joll, we’d be making a stop by Helix, the largest casino on Zeltros, owned by the Uhdeas. </p><p>I took out two dresses Tasha had packed for me. They weren’t my usual style. I had never seen them before. They were both black, with a high neck and long arms. One of the dresses was short; it would barely cover my ass. The second reminded me of something that Jukhara might wear, hugging close to my hips and legs, trailing towards the ground. </p><p>I folded them neatly inside the kitbag, dumping a pair of heels, jewelry, and my make-up on top. I’d need to be carrying cash with me to bribe Ahobri’s client, then more to bribe any Hutts that could help me get to Boz. </p><p>This was the part that made me the most nervous. I’d be walking around with cash and my tablet with First Order intelligence. </p><p>My blaster and thigh holster were packed on top of everything. Showing up armed could cause problems, but it was worse to not have a weapon. </p><p>I wasn’t able to choose the meeting place. I’d have to play it by ear. </p><p>I’d done it before, so many times, but now that I was working for the First Order, the stakes felt higher. </p><p>Rosie was giving the final warning before I left hyperspace. </p><p>I made my way to the cockpit, dumping my kitbag in the copilot’s chair. </p><p>I emerged from hyperspace, far away from the snarl of traffic that surrounded Zeltros. </p><p>As soon as I arrived, I checked my comms for any messages from Ahobri. </p><p>Her and Ymir had both pinged me while I was in hyperspace. </p><p>With a grimace, I checked Ymir’s message first. I’d need to deal with him before I started this job. </p><p>He had left a video message. His face popped up in my console screen, “I’m disappointed to hear about the fight. Kylo Ren, Yuri, and Adram have given me three distinctly different versions of what happened. We’ll talk after you’ve finished this leg of your mission. I’m glad to hear you’re making progress.”</p><p>That was unexpectedly positive. Maybe I wasn’t going to be in trouble after all. Or maybe Ymir didn’t want me to be thinking about punishment as I explored a new lead on my assignment. Either way, I knew it could wait. </p><p>Ahobri had sent a short message: [On Zeltros with Roice. He wants to meet at his house. Call me when you get here and I'll give you a time and address.]</p><p>Meeting at his house. That was the first sign that Roice wasn’t taking this seriously. If he was genuinely interested, he’d be arranging to meet me at the casino, or another place where he actually worked. </p><p>I just had to roll with it. He didn’t know who I was. This was just a favor he was doing for one of his girlfriends. </p><p>I called Ahobri and she answered right away, but I only got audio from her comms link. </p><p>“Mara! Hi!” she said, in that bubbly voice she used around her clients. </p><p>I could hear the city in the background - people talking, street traffic. </p><p>“Did I catch you at a good time?” I asked. </p><p>“Yeah. We just grabbed lunch and Roice is taking me out shopping…” Ahobri said. </p><p>It was a good way to stroke his ego. She was bragging to her friend about how he was taking care of her. </p><p>“We’ll be out for the next few hours,” Ahbori continued, “Roice said he could meet with you at eight, before he goes to Helix.”</p><p>He was already planning to be at the casino. That could work out very well for us.</p><p>“I’ll see y’all at eight. Pass along my appreciation,” I replied, certain that Roice was within earshot of the call. </p><p>“I’ll send you the address as soon as I can.”</p><p>“Thanks,” I said, and ended the call. </p><p>I had a few hours to wait and prepare. It was nice not to have to rush. </p><p>I turned up my music, set my ship to a New Republic signature, and joined the heavy traffic inbound to Zeltros. </p><p>Even though I had lived on Artrix, orbiting over Zeltros, for three years, I had never gone down planet-side much. </p><p>Artrix was a melting pot, the rich and poor rubbing shoulders. There were thousands of different species, everyone with their own religions, their own languages, living life how they saw fit. </p><p>Zeltros was much more metropolitan. Everything was kept separate. Everyone had a niche they were expected to stay in. </p><p>The planet had been developed to the point it was like one large, continuous city. The surface levels were the slums - people either left the planet or died where they were born. There was no moving up. </p><p>The highest levels of the city were for the elite, living in their penthouses, hotels, and floating mansions. Zeltros was home to many politicians, business leaders, and famous artists; they lived here or kept property they could visit. </p><p>As I made it through atmosphere, I expanded my awareness, getting a different taste of the city. I <i>reached</i> across the dizzying pattern of walkways between buildings; all the lanes of traffic with their ships and occupants; I felt the energy of the people moving across the surface, the droids and machinery. In this more meditative place, the chaos around me smoothed into natural patterns and rhythms. </p><p>I swooped beneath the uppermost layers of the city, finding a garage a couple of neighborhoods away from Helix. </p><p>Ahobri still hadn’t sent me Roice’s address, but he couldn’t be too far away from here. She said he was a big-name bookie working for the casino. He had to be somewhere in the surrounding neighborhoods. </p><p>I programmed the console to send messages to my tablet, paid for my spot in the garage at an automated meter, and set off into the city. </p><p>*** </p><p>It was 1800 planet-side. The sky was dim and the clouds were low and golden, reflecting all the lights beneath and the sun behind. With such heavy cloud cover, it was impossible to see Artrix circling overhead. </p><p>Out on the streets, the walkways were crowded, but people gave each other space. They were quieter. There was a distinct difference in the level of wealth from pretty much anywhere I had visited before. </p><p>As I moved through the neat throngs of people, I noticed how everyone was well-dressed. On Artrix, my outfit would make me stand out, flashing my wealth for everyone to see. Here on Zeltros, I fit right in. </p><p>With a few hours to kill, I wandered around, enjoying the city. I kept my kitbag with clothes and money held tightly in my hand.  </p><p>They didn’t have stalls and food carts lining the blocks. Instead, there were little cafes and shops inside of clean buildings. Every now and then, I’d spot a neatly roped-off patio with umbrellas and tables. </p><p>I dropped into a cafe for a meal and a glass of wine. I sat at a tiny, round, wooden table, drinking my drink, looking out the window.</p><p>It was such a strange experience. </p><p>On Ymir’s Estate, I was surrounded with much more luxury than this. Snoke’s palace on Taltua had become far less intimidating since. I was getting used to servants and staff taking care of me. Still, it felt strange to be out on my own in a place like this, wearing fine clothes, sitting quietly with a glass of wine. </p><p>Beneath this polished image, I was a patchwork of bruises and healing wounds. The scar on my face was enough for people to suspect I was a gangster. Idly, I found myself running my fingertips across the curve of my shoulder. </p><p>I watched the sky grow dark outside the window, and decided it was time to go exploring again. </p><p>Thankfully, Ahobri finally got back to me with Roice’s address. </p><p>It was an hour before we were supposed to meet, and he was three neighborhoods away. </p><p>I pulled up the map and saw that it was possible to walk it, but I figured I’d take a speeder and keep myself fresh. </p><p>With some time to kill, I casually strolled along the walkways, taking in the sights and sounds. </p><p>Eventually, I came across a little transport hub with a queue of people waiting for the next speeder. I joined the line, sandwiched between a Chagrian businessman in neat dark robes, and a well-dressed Togruta woman in a fancy dress, holding onto her young daughter and several large shopping bags. </p><p>Speeders came by the hub every minute or so, and our line shuffled forward. </p><p>Finally, it was my turn. A small covered speeder with two bucket seats pulled up. </p><p>I stepped aboard, dropping the kit bag into the empty seat. </p><p>A young Yarkora with a shock of red and orange dyed hair turned around. He was in the front of the speeder, a tiny cockpit separated from me by a low wall and clear plastic divider. </p><p>“Where to?” he asked, already launching the speeder into a lane of traffic. </p><p>“Uh, District 6… The Grotto, on the third tier,” I said, and pulled out my tablet to make sure I had given him the right address. </p><p>“Yes, ma’am,” the Yarkora said, ascending quickly to another lane. I could feel it in the pit of my stomach. </p><p>I felt a grin spread across my face as we whipped through traffic. </p><p>The speeder was cramped - the bucket seats made my knees jut up, and there wasn’t much space for my feet against the floorboards. </p><p>I liked the driver. He weaved through the slow trickle of ships, his hands deftly moving along the controls. </p><p>“Hey, what’s your name?” I asked, leaning forward, my hand against the low wall separating the cockpit from the cabin. </p><p>“Rod,” he answered, veering our little speeder to the left. </p><p>My hip pressed against the wall. </p><p>“Is this your only gig?” I asked, trying to see if I could get some useful information out of him.</p><p>“To pay rent out here?” the Yarkora replied, “Hell no, this is my dayjob.”</p><p>I laughed, “What’s your night job?”</p><p>The Yarkora turned towards me, deciding what answer to give, “Chemist,” he said with a sly smile. </p><p>That meant he sold drugs. </p><p>“Oh yeah?” I said with a grin.</p><p>“What’s your dayjob?” Rod asked.</p><p>“Contract negotiation,” I answered with a friendly smile, “I got a party tonight, do you have anything for that?”</p><p>“I got some Blue, twenty a gram,” Rod said. </p><p>He was probably high right now, the way he was flying. </p><p>“I’m interested, but not for twenty a gram,” I said, leaning forward again, “Do I look like a fucking tourist to you?”</p><p>The Yarkora laughed, veering us to the right this time. “Okay, okay. I’ll do a gram for ten. You’re the prettiest customer I’ve had all day.”</p><p>I pulled a ten-credit chip out and put it through a small, hinged door in the plastic barrier. </p><p>Without turning around or slowing at all. Rod dug around in the dashboard, put a tiny baggie through the hinged door, and retrieved the chip I had left. </p><p>I really didn’t need the drug, but I wanted to see if the driver had any interesting news or information. </p><p>I carefully tapped out a small bump on the back of my hand, pausing as we turned and swerved through sky traffic. I made one good sniff, and felt the stimulant lighting up my brain seconds later. I stashed the small baggie inside my bra. </p><p>With Blue singing through my brain, I struck up a conversation with the kid, probing to see if he had any gang connections, but he was just a low-level dealer. He didn’t have any gossip that was useful to me. </p><p>We arrived at the Grotto, a fancy highrise - penthouses above and penthouses below. </p><p>I paid Rod, leaving a generous tip, “I’ll call you the next time I need a getaway driver,” I said as I climbed out of the low bucket seat, kit bag in hand. </p><p>“Call me anytime,” he said with a grin, zipping off to find his next fare. </p><p>I was left alone on the landing. For a moment the only sounds were the ships and speeders skimming along their lanes, and the wind tugging at my hair and clothes. Night had fallen and the city was dark and glimmering around me. </p><p>I took a breath, then entered the vestibule to call Ahobri. </p><p>She had given me a code to reach her through Roice’s console so she could buzz me in. </p><p>The vestibule was clean and well-lit. The walls were some warm shade of pink with gold accents at the corners and ceilings. This place wasn’t really that nice, but it was trying. </p><p>A year ago I would have been impressed, but now I knew what real money looked like. </p><p>I punched the code into the building directory, and Ahobri’s face swam up. </p><p>“Look at you, right on time,” she teased, “I’ll be right over.”</p><p>There was a loud buzz, and the door to enter the building slid open. I stepped through. </p><p>This place was making a purposeful attempt to look fancy. There were fake marble columns in the hallway, imitation gold and crystal lighting overhead. </p><p>Ahobri emerged from a door down the hallway, padding her way over the plush blue and green rugs. She was wearing the two silver armbands I had given her. Her dress was a simple flowing thing, made out of gauzy white fabric, with a halter neck adorned with intricate silver beadwork. Her headtails were left loose, falling down her back. </p><p>“You look lovely,” I said, giving her a hug. </p><p>Ahobri looked me up and down, “You look… professional.”</p><p>I grinned and kissed her cheek, “Let’s go make a deal.”</p><p>***</p><p>It was dim inside Roice’s penthouse. The air smelled faintly like smoke. </p><p>Before Ymir’s Estate, I would have thought this place was really nice. There was art on the walls and statues in alcoves. All the furniture had gold accents. </p><p>Now I just thought this place was loud and shabby. This man didn’t know what real wealth was. He was imitating his idea of it.</p><p>“Need to ditch anything in that bag?” Ahobri asked. Her voice was a whisper. </p><p>I shook my head, “We’re good.”</p><p>The blaster wasn’t that much of a liability, and I felt confident that I could access my tablet and credits without Roice seeing it. </p><p>Ahobri led me through the main room. It had a fabulous view of slow-moving traffic and the nearest skyscrapers. Then we entered a dim hallway. </p><p>She pressed her green hand to a console and a door slid open. </p><p>Her client, Roice, was lounging on a pile of cushions, a water pipe next to him. There was a low haze of smoke in the air. </p><p>“Roice, this is Mara Zhang,” she introduced, now pitching her voice a note higher - sweet as honey. </p><p>I stepped forward to shake his hand. </p><p>Roice was a large, fat Togruta. His orange skin was very pale, and his eyes bulged oddly from his head. To make up for these unfortunate physical traits, he was dressed in very fine robes of blue, gold, and green. He had gold rings squeezing his wide fingers, and gold chains looped around his neck. </p><p>“Pleasure to meet you Mara,” he said, eyes moving across me. </p><p>I already knew I wasn’t going to leave this house without him making a pass.</p><p>Ahobri handed me a cushion to take a seat. She curled up next to Roice, her tits against his arm. </p><p>“Mara is a business associate of mine,” she introduced, “She came to me because she has a proposal for the Uhdea family.”</p><p>I was settling into the cushion and made the mistake of leaning on my right arm. There was a jolt of pain in my shoulder, and I switched sides. </p><p>“My understanding is that you need an introduction,” Roice said. His voice was low and phlemgy. </p><p>“I do,” I said playing it very cool, “I’d like to meet with Boz Uhdea. Can you do that for me?” </p><p>It was a ridiculous request. We both knew it. </p><p>Roice laughed, full and throaty. He passed me the hose of his waterpipe. </p><p>So far so good. </p><p>“No one just shows up and gets a meeting with Boz Uhdea. No one like you,” Roice said, with plenty of good humor. </p><p>I was taking a long pull from the water pipe, and slowly exhaled a gentle cloud of smoke, “Then how close can you get me?” </p><p>Roice would happily waste my time. I needed to make sure we got right to business. </p><p>“That all depends on what you’re offering me,” Roice said, settling into his cushions, his hand sliding along Ahobri’s curves, “Are you offering me hundreds of credits? Thousands? Something else?” He gave Ahobri’s ass a squeeze as she took a pull from the water pipe. </p><p>“You have contacts that are worth thousands of credits?” I shot back, a testy little smile on my face, a glimmer in my eye. </p><p>Men like this were so easy to manipulate. </p><p>Roice laughed again, “Your friend isn’t a very nice bargainer,” he said, looking down towards Ahobri. </p><p>She handed him the hose of the pipe. </p><p>“The Uhdeas are a big family,” I said, “How about you tell me how far up you can reach, and I’ll tell you what I think it’s worth.” I kept my tone easy, my body relaxed on the cushions. </p><p>Roice smirked, his hand travelling along the curve of Ahobri’s waist, “I can get you a meeting with Coba Lanz. Tonight.”</p><p>This was a test. He wanted to see just how gullible I was. Coba was Roice’s boss. He ran the gambling scene on Zeltros, so he wasn’t low level, but that couldn’t possibly be the limit of Roices’ contacts. </p><p>“Your own boss is as far as you can take me?” I said, aiming for his pride. </p><p>Ahobri had her lips pressed together, hiding her smile. </p><p>Roice’s eyes narrowed slyly. Now we were cooking. </p><p>“I don’t know anything about this business proposal you have,” Roice said, “Your idea could be shit, and that reflects poorly on me. How about you give me a taste of this deal, and I can decide who I want to connect you to.”</p><p>I smiled, acting more sweetly now, “I’m working on behalf of a certain organization that wants to form a partnership with the Uhdeas,” I began, “They’ve provided me with intelligence that would greatly benefit the family’s operations in New Republic territory. I think you’ll find this proposal will reflect very favorably on you.”</p><p>Roice eyed me silently, taking another drag off the hose of the water pipe. He was trying to figure out if I was lying. I was a nobody, the girlfriend of one of his regular brothel-girls. But I could feel his greed. This could be an opportunity to make some easy money and increase his standing. </p><p>This could also blow up in his face. I watched the gears churning as he weighed the costs and benefits. </p><p>Greed won out. </p><p>“For six hundred credits, I’ll introduce you to Holst Trenna,” Roice finally said, “You and Ahobri can come as my guests to Helix, and I’ll set up the meeting tonight.”</p><p>We were on the right track; Holst was one of the higher ups in the Uhdea family, a consigliere to Boz, but I wanted more assurances. </p><p>“I’ll pay you seven hundred if you call him and schedule the meeting right now,” I said. </p><p>Roice balked, “Well, Holst is a very busy man,” he said, “You don’t have a name, and I don’t know enough about this deal.” He paused, then leaned towards me with an unfriendly leer, “If you want me to make the call, I’m going to need some intimate encouragement,”</p><p>Oh fuck this. </p><p>Ahobri saw the flash of irritation in my eyes, and began to wrap her arm around Roice’s, opening her mouth to steer this conversation in a better direction. </p><p>I leaned forward, meeting Roice’s mean, bulging eyes. </p><p>“Roice,” I began, <i>pushing</i> with my words. </p><p>He stopped, staring at me, completely transfixed. Ahobri saw the sudden change, and looked over to me, shocked and confused, but trying to hide it. </p><p>“You will gratefully accept the seven hundred credits I’m offering,” I continued, <i>reaching</i> into his mind, “You will call Holst right now, and arrange a meeting for us tonight.”</p><p>“...I’ll call Holst right now,” Roice said, lifting himself up from his pile of cushions, “He’ll be at the casino tonight. You’ll get your meeting.”</p><p>“Thanks, Roice,” I said, opening the kit bag to take out the credits. </p><p>It would smooth over any confusion he’d have later. He might not understand why he had an overwhelming need to schedule the meeting, but he’d have his money. I definitely wasn’t skimping on the payment. </p><p>Ahobri was shocked, watching her client take out a holoprojector from a panel in the wall and punch in Holst’s line. </p><p>Roice was routed through a couple of different underlings, and I wondered whether he actually had the clout to make Holst meet with us. But eventually his wide, ugly face pulled up on the screen. </p><p>“What is it, Roice?” the Hutt asked in a thick, gruff voice. </p><p>“I have a girl here, Mara Zhang, she has a proposal and information to help our operations in New Republic territories,” Roice answered. His voice sounded more distant, a result of the hold I had on his mind. </p><p>“Are you calling me to blow smoke?” Holst responded aggressively, “Who’s Mara Zhang? Who’s she with?”</p><p>“She’s got money,” Roice said, “She wants to benefit the family. I’m bringing her to Helix tonight.”</p><p>“And you know she has good information?” Holst said sounding bored and irritated. </p><p>“Yes. You won’t be disappointed,” Roice said. </p><p>“Then bring her with you. I’ll have a sit-down with her after the Luther fight.”</p><p>“Thank you, sir,” Roice said, simpering and eager to please. </p><p>“If it’s baanthashit, it’s on your head,” Holst said, and ended the call. </p><p>“Thanks, Roice,” I said, all smiles and charm, passing him a neat stack of credits. “You should start getting ready for your shift,” I said, <i>pushing</i> with my voice one last time. </p><p>“Ladies, I’m going to get ready for my shift,” Roice said, standing up and putting the holoprojector away.</p><p>He stood up and left the room, moving automatically, his eyes slightly glazed. </p><p>I hadn’t asked him to do anything out of the ordinary. He’d be a little confused, but ultimately, he’d think it was his own idea. </p><p>As soon as the door closed behind Roice, Ahobri was moving towards me, reaching for my hand. </p><p>“What the fuck did you just do?” she hissed fiercely, eyes boring into me. </p><p>I squeezed her hand with mine, “It was a mindtrick,” I said nonchalantly, “It’s fine. By the time he gets to his room, he’s going to think it was all his idea.”</p><p>Ahobri looked from me to the door Roice had left, then back to me, “You just told him what to do… and he did it… “</p><p>I picked up the hose of the water pipe and took another slow drag, “Well, he said he needed some intimate encouragement,” I replied, blowing a plume of smoke into the air. “Let’s get ready for our meeting with Holst.”</p><p>
  <b>III</b>
</p><p>Ahobri steered me to an extra bedroom down the hall, “I’m going to grab my things from Roice’s room.” She frowned, “Do I have to worry about anything, or is he going to be normal?”</p><p>I laughed, unzipping the top of my kitbag. “You don’t have to worry about anything,” I assured her. </p><p>Ahobri left, and I flopped backwards onto the bed. </p><p>It had felt so good to order Roice around. I didn’t have to simper, playing nice for some gangster that just wanted to fuck me. </p><p>I wouldn’t have that luxury later, when extra eyes would be watching, so I was determined to enjoy what I could. </p><p>Ahobri was back in a few minutes, dragging a large square suitcase behind her. </p><p>“I overpacked,” she said, hauling the heavy thing up onto the bed, dropping it next to me. </p><p>She always overpacked. </p><p>“Do you need to borrow anything?” she asked, unzipping it. </p><p>“I probably will,” I said with an easy smile as I sat up, shrugging off my vest. My shoulder stung with the careless motion. </p><p>I realized that I hadn’t packed med tape. Astrid said I was supposed to be changing the bandage. I was shit out of luck for now. </p><p>“So I think now’s a good time for me to know about the deal,” Ahobri said, pulling four different dresses out of her bag. </p><p>This was exactly what I wanted to hear from her. She had been thinking about my offer. She was hungry. </p><p>“Yeah, let me walk you through the plan,” I said, digging inside my kit bag, “You know the Uhdea family better than I do, so butt in if you have ideas.”</p><p>I took out my two dresses, wrapped neatly in their protective sleeves. </p><p>Ahobri raised an eyebrow. </p><p>“So, my objective is to have Holst get me a meeting with Boz,” I began, unzipping both covers, “But I’m not planning to let Holst in on the deal. I wanted to make an introduction, throw him some money, and give him some intelligence that shows I mean business.”</p><p>“What information do you have?” Ahobri asked. </p><p>“I have three files that I think will work,” I told her, pulling out the tablet. </p><p>I activated it for her, punching in my code and opening the three reports, “Give these a read and tell me what you think.”</p><p>Ahobri took the tablet from me and took a seat on the bed, scrolling through the reports. </p><p>I watched her eyes widen. </p><p>In the meantime, I began unpacking my kit bag and various currency. </p><p>“Holy shit…” Ahobri murmured, her finger tracing across the tablet screen. </p><p>I took a seat next to her, our legs pressing together. I read over her shoulder. “Which one do you like?”</p><p>“The report on Bahol and Fir is going to be the ticket,” Ahobri said, putting the tablet down in her lap, “How the fuck did you get this?”</p><p>“I didn’t have to do anything. My boss gave me everything I needed,” I said. </p><p>Ahobri handed the tablet back, “Well, I feel more confident.”</p><p>“Yeah, we just need to get to Holst, then it should be smooth sailing.”</p><p>We took our time dressing up for the evening. </p><p>Ahobri went back and forth between outfits, exchanging shoes, dresses, and jewelry. </p><p>I only had two choices, and I picked the option that showed the most skin. </p><p>I pulled off my shirt, digging the baggie of Blue out of my bra, and tossing it onto the sheets.</p><p>“What’s all that about?” Ahobri asked as she saw my new injuries. </p><p>There was no way to hide the two large patches of medtape, or the patterns of bruises along my shoulders. </p><p>“Ren,” I answered. </p><p>Ahobri gave me a look, “That’s not an answer. I’m not letting you get away with that.”</p><p>I was pulling the dress over my head, wriggling into the tight arms and narrow opening for my head. </p><p>“I don’t think it’s a good idea to talk about it here,” I said, pulling the dress down. </p><p>It was skin-tight, the bottom hem just barely covering my ass. </p><p>“I’m going to be here with Roice until tomorrow,” Ahobri said, mouth twisting to the side, “Do you need a place to stay? I mean, if everything goes well tonight, I don’t see why you couldn’t stay here.”</p><p>I shook my head, “Nah, I’ll get a room somewhere,” I told her, not interested in spending the night in her client’s home, “Can I give you a ride to The Outpost tomorrow?”</p><p>“Yes! We’ll talk on the way.”</p><p>We finished getting ready, helping each other with our make-up, doing small bumps of Blue while we talked. </p><p>Thankfully, Roice left us alone.  </p><p>Ahobri was in a shimmering, strapless, gold dress that hugged the wide curves of her waist and swished around her feet in her tall, white high heels. I wrapped her headtails in a gauzy white fabric, making an elegant knot and securing the end with a gorgeous gold pin. </p><p>I was showing about as much leg as I possibly could, my feet stuffed into glittery black heels. </p><p>My make-up was bold - heavy black around my eyes, lower lids lined with gold. I painted my lips black, with a single gold stripe down the center. </p><p>I left my hair loose, flowing down around my shoulders. </p><p>We divvied up the gear we needed to make the deal. Ahobri had a stylish, white leather bag; she stored my tablet and extra money. She gave me a sleek black clutch, where I carefully stored fifteen hundred credits - the intended bribe for Holst. </p><p>We did a final bump of Blue before Ahobri tucked the baggie inside her white bag. </p><p>I was feeling sharp. My thoughts were humming along. </p><p>I had a goal. We were going to go to the casino. We’d have a meeting with Holst Trenna. I’d pass over the bribe and information about their disloyal men, Bahol and Fir. We’d be well on our way to having a private meeting with Boz Uhdea. </p><p>Ahobri packed my kit bag with her things, burying my blaster underneath a small mountain of clothing. </p><p>Before the shuttle arrived, Ahobri returned to Roice’s room to give him some attention before we left for the casino. </p><p>I went back to the room with the water pipe, idly smoking while I waited. </p><p>***</p><p>When the speeder arrived, Roice ushered us out to the landing. I felt his eyes crawling all over me. </p><p>Inside the vehicle, Ahobri was bubbly and charming, talking to Roice about the upcoming fight. </p><p>I stared out the window, enjoying the bright lights glittering in the dark. </p><p>Helix was a real sight - the exterior of the building was all gold, with lights shimmering from every surface. It was a glitzy, hypnotic place. </p><p>We were dropped off on a landing pad near the top of the building. This was where the high-rollers and top-level gangsters rubbed shoulders. </p><p>Roice helped both of us out of the vehicle. I took his left arm while Ahobri took his right - it let people know we were with him. </p><p>The interior of the casino was just as gaudy and loud as its facade. </p><p>Roice led the way across plush red and gold carpets, saying his hellos along the way, introducing me as Mara Zhang. </p><p>It felt just like The Outpost; we were surrounded by a crush of people all out to have a good time. The difference was that everyone here was filthy rich. </p><p>There were the usual gamblers, men in fine suits or robes, and women in elegant dresses with elaborate hair. We passed the obvious gangsters, large men with tattoos and visible scars, dressed in their finery with their girlfriends hanging off their arms.</p><p>Roice whisked us up to an empty VIP lounge, overlooking the arena where the fights would be taking place. </p><p>A glamorous wooden bar took up the back wall; the lighting design showed off expensive bottles of liquor; the front of the box was made entirely of glass, not a spot on it. The side walls were decorated with holoscreens featuring other contests that the high rollers had bets on. </p><p>Roice had a console booth in a corner of the room, next to the bar. </p><p>We had been let into the VIP lounge ten minutes before the rest of the patrons. Ahobri and I were the only people in the room that weren’t staff. </p><p>The droid behind the bar made us drinks. I had a whiskey, while Anobri had a sweet green liqueur. She went to attend to Roice, while I took a spot near the large glass window looking over the empty arena. </p><p>It was the calm before the storm. </p><p>Soon, people streamed into the lounge. At the same time, people were filing into their seats in the stadium. I watched all the different species, dressed up in their finery, shuffling through the narrow aisles - stopping to have conversations, drinks in hand, jewelry shining.</p><p>These cage-fighting matches were brutal. The audience was guaranteed to see blood. </p><p>The lights went down and spotlights swept across the place. Two announcers loudly began their speil, warming up the crowd. </p><p>In our suite, people were stopping by Roice’s booth to place their bets for the night. There were eight matches before the headliners. </p><p>Ahobri and I had a long time to wait. It was unfortunate that we’d be meeting after the match. If Holst had a losing night, chances are he wouldn’t want to talk business or hear about any more deals. </p><p>I stayed by the window, drinking my drink, deflecting the men who came by to give me attention. </p><p>None of the Hutts in the room gave a shit about me. They already had their posses and their women. They didn’t need to slither over and make a pass. There were rules I needed to play by; the Hutts didn’t take kindly to any riff-raff that approached uninvited; they had bruisers to keep hangers-on away; the women jealously guarded their positions. If one of the Hutts wanted me over, they’d let me know. </p><p>Roice was useless in this environment. He was tucked away in his booth, tracking bets. He wouldn’t be making any introductions during the matches. </p><p>I was looking at the ringside seats, trying to see if I could make out anyone I knew. I couldn’t spot Holst anywhere. I noticed that there were four empty spaces right up front, prime real estate.</p><p>Had he skipped out on the casino entirely?</p><p>As the games got underway, Ahobri came to my side. Roice was too busy to need her around. </p><p>I put an arm around her waist, our hips touching. We gazed out at the match together. </p><p>Two Wookies were fighting, growling and snarling as they struck out with their long arms and legs. Their clawed hands were wrapped in protective gloves so they wouldn’t just shred each other to pieces - still, one of them had blood across his snout. </p><p>Out of curiosity, I <i>reached</i> through the crowd. It was a heady sensation. I could feel the spectators’ greed and lust for violence, the horror and fascination of seeing blood on the fighters and the spray of red across the mat. The Wookies were seasoned warriors. I felt them maintaining a balance of control and abandon. They had surrendered themselves to the moment, all their training allowing them to move instinctually. </p><p>I felt a wave of goosebumps roll across Ahobri’s arms as she picked up on what I was doing - a blurry impression of what I felt. I drew myself back in and Ahobri looked over at me. </p><p>“You’ve always had that edge to you,” she said, taking a sip of her drink, looking over the arena, “But it’s so clear now.”</p><p>I smiled and ran my hand down her side. </p><p>We sat through two more matches. Then something interesting happened. </p><p>Holst’s arrival to the VIP lounge was an event. He had an entourage of five other people: a large Bothan; a stern looking Chagrian; two Twi’lek women, wearing very expensive outfits that were all skin and sheer fabric; lastly, a fiery Ghalla dressed in red. </p><p>The Hutt was older. His leathery skin was wrinkled and dark around his wide face, his skin sagging around his eyes and mouth, but his eyes were a piercing orange, with yellow around the slit pupils. </p><p>Everyone turned to look at him. </p><p>Ahobri and I stayed where we were. </p><p>I hated this baanthashit. This was just as bad as the First Order. I had no problem striding over and making my presence known, but that wouldn’t endear me to Holst. I had to wait. </p><p>We stood with our drinks, watching the underlings pay their respects. Holst slithered his way over to Roice, leaning casually against the bookie’s booth, one fat arm resting on the counter. </p><p>They talked for a bit. I saw Roice look our way, but nothing happened. Holst slithered away, his group moving to another corner of the lounge, joining with another group of men in fine robes.</p><p>I was irritated, standing around in this dress like I was someone else’s arm candy. My shoulder was aching and sore. </p><p>Ahobri and I stood still, casual and bored, looking out over the arena and the cage match, not paying attention to any of it. </p><p>Eventually, the large Bothan approached us. </p><p>“Mara. Ahobri,” he said, holding out a hand. </p><p>I shook first, introducing myself. The Bothan’s name was Ghrell. I made a mental note. Names meant everything here. </p><p>Ghrell brought us over to Holst and his entourage. The women flicked their eyes towards us as we walked over. </p><p>Holst eyed us, making a split-second judgement. His expression was blank, his eyes not giving anything away, but I <i>reached</i> for him. He seemed intrigued by Roice setting up a meeting with two attractive women, but that was all. </p><p>“So you’re Mara Zhang,” he said in that thick, mushy Hutt language. </p><p>“Pleasure to meet you, Holst,” I said, shaking his fat hand. </p><p>“And Ahobri, you’re one of Jukhara’s girls?”</p><p>“Yes, Holst. I’m honored to meet you,” Ahobri said, shaking his hand. </p><p>“And you girls have a business proposal for me?” he said, his eyes running across our bodies. </p><p>I hated this garbage. </p><p>“I have a deal for you, and one that I want to present to Boz Uhdea,” I said with a curling smile, pushing past their formalities. </p><p>Holst laughed, a hand across his belly, “Roice said you were a little spit-fire,” he said, his entourage echoing his amusement, “I’ll pull you over again, after the match.”</p><p>“Thank you, Holst,” Ahobri said with a polite bob of her head. </p><p>She took my hand and squeezed, reminding me to bob my head. </p><p>We were dismissed, for now. </p><p>***</p><p>From our vantage point in the lounge, we watched Holst and his women get ushered to the empty ringside seats. </p><p>We had two more fights to go until the headliners. </p><p>I had another drink, while a Weequay mopped the floor with a Trandoshan. </p><p>Ahobri and I went to the bathroom together, cutting out a line of Blue to make sure we were alert for the meeting. </p><p>The announcers raised the enthusiasm level for the final fight. The crowd went wild for Luther, a massive tattooed Klatooinian. He worked the crowd on his entrance to the ring, a show of power and confidence, but as soon as he was inside the cage, his focus shifted. All that existed for him was the match. </p><p>The challenger was a very intimidating Devaronian, huge horns arcing from his craggy red skull. </p><p>I found myself getting caught up in the fight, rooting for Luther to win. A win meant that Holst would get his money and would be in a good mood when we finally had our sit-down. </p><p>Then, something unexpected happened. </p><p>I watched the large Bothan, Ghrell, moving purposefully across the front row. The crowd on either side of him was going crazy, transfixed on the match. He leaned over to Holst, whispering something in his ear. Holst took one of the Twi’lek girls and slithered up the aisle. </p><p>He was leaving. </p><p>Fuck!</p><p>Ahobri saw it too. We both looked at each other. </p><p>Holst was not coming back. If the matter was important enough to interrupt his enjoyment of a prestigious match like this, he’d be gone the rest of the night. </p><p>“What a fucking waste…” I grumbled, knocking back my drink and flagging a server over for another. </p><p>Ahobri’s shoulders were sagging. </p><p>“Don’t look disappointed,” I told her, giving her a nudge in the ribs, “It’s not your deal.”</p><p>“We were so close,” she said, putting a comforting arm around me. </p><p>She squeezed my injured upper arm, forgetting about the wound under the long sleeves of my dress. </p><p>***</p><p>Luther won the match. The lounge was alive with people toasting and celebrating. </p><p>Roice’s booth was mobbed by people collecting on their bets. </p><p>I was drinking steadily. I didn’t have a reason to stay sober. We’d bum around the casino for a few more hours while Roice worked, then Ahobri would return to his place and I’d find a place to crash. </p><p>When the VIP lounge was all cleared out, Roice took us down to one of the ritzy lounges, buying us fancy cocktails to drown our sorrows in. </p><p>We were in a black leather booth. The lighting was dim and golden, a band off to the side playing background music, a singer crooning into a microphone while people talked and ate and drank. </p><p>Roice made sure he was in between Ahobri and I, enjoying having a woman on either side. </p><p>“Sorry it didn’t work out, girls,” he said, pretending to be sympathetic. </p><p>He didn’t give a shit. He had seven hundred credits in his pocket. He’d be taking Ahobri home. It was no skin off his back. </p><p>“Yeah, it happens,” I said with forced nonchalance, finishing my drink and moving the glass to the edge of the table. </p><p>“I’ll be in the Azure room for the rest of the night,” Roice said, pulling Ahobri close to him, “You girls are welcome to drink on my tab. If we feel like it, we can go dancing before the end of the night.”</p><p>“I’d like that,” Ahobri cooed, giving him a kiss. She was still working.</p><p>I fought the urge to sigh, staring across the lounge. A waitress in a tiny black dress came by with another drink. I took out half the drink in my first gulp. </p><p>What a fucking waste of an evening. I had spent all this time playing nice with Roice, waiting around in the casino and I was no closer to getting a meeting with Boz Uhdea. </p><p>I was going to have to either follow up with Roice about getting another meeting scheduled with Holst, or find another gangster’s ass to kiss. </p><p>When the waitress came back, I had given Roice seven hundred credits for nothing. I had no qualms about getting drunk on his tab. I didn’t feel too bad about the money. It was the First Order’s bill, not mine. But it was my time that had been wasted. </p><p>The other games were starting soon and Roice left us. I thought about doing more Blue. It might help pull me out of my sulk. </p><p>Then I spotted a Hutt that I recognized, slithering through the lounge with his crew. </p><p>It was Joll Surik. He had a large posse - eight other people moving with him. They were flashy and loud. Heads turned as he came in. </p><p>“Ahobri!” Joll called out, his wide face lighting up as he spotted her, “I didn’t know you were here!” </p><p>I hadn’t seen Joll in six or seven years. He was a decent guy - a greedy sonofabitch, but he was intelligent and mostly played fair. He had helped to start The Outpost. Him and Jukhara had worked together for decades. </p><p>Joll slithered his way over to us, a few members of his entourage following. </p><p>“Joll! It’s so good to see you,” Ahobri said, sliding out of the booth so she could give him a hug and kissing both of his cheeks. “This is my business associate, Mara Zhang.”</p><p>I slid over to the edge of the booth, giving Ahobri a glance as I shook his hand. What exactly did she have in mind?</p><p>“Business associate,” Joll said with a playful glimmer in his eye, looking between the two of us, “What kind of business do you have tonight?”</p><p>“Well… we got stood up,” Ahobri said with a gorgeous little pout, “Roice had arranged a meeting with Holst, who had to leave halfway through the Luther fight.”</p><p>I tried to keep my expression in check. Ahobri was arranging a sit-down for me. </p><p>I had asked Jukhara to get me in with Joll, but she had declined, not wanting to sour her relationship with the Uhdeas if my deal with them went south. </p><p>Ahobri was pushing ahead with him anyways. </p><p>“Yeah, I heard about Holst getting pulled away,” Joll said, “I think it’s something to do with Black Sun. I’m sure we’ll find out what happened tomorrow.”</p><p>Joll paused, looking me up and down, “So you had a meeting with Holst?” he asked.</p><p>I could tell his mind was working this situation out. This could benefit him - if Holst had agreed to the meeting, it must be a good deal. </p><p>“I was looking forward to it, but what can you do?” I said, playing it cool. </p><p>“Well I hate to see two beautiful women get stood up,” Joll said with a wide smile, “I’m all done with my work for the evening. How about you join us for a drink?”</p><p>Bingo. </p><p>“I’d love that,” Ahobri said with a brilliant smile. </p><p>Joll offered me his pudgy hand as I slid out of the booth in my tiny dress. When I met his eyes, I could feel the undercurrent of greed. </p><p>
  <b>IV</b>
</p><p>Joll had a private room for his crew. We sat on cushions around a low table. Servers brought us bottles and snacks. A couple of water pipes were set up. </p><p>There were three other Hutts with us - men working their way up the ranks. A couple of the women had met Ahobri before, so we weren’t fighting with each other for attention. </p><p>Everyone was in a good mood. It looked like everyone had put their money on Luther. </p><p>We lounged around, playing drinking games and bullshitting while getting served as much food and alcohol as we wanted. </p><p>I was patient, drinking and having a good time, making sure I was riding my buzz. Ahobri had opened a door for me. I just needed to seal the deal. </p><p>After a few hours of partying, most of the group was well and truly tanked. People had cut out lines of Euphoria and Blue. A few of the women were talking about leaving to go dance on another floor. The Hutt men were eyeing them, ready to keep playing grab-ass. </p><p>Ahobri was planted firmly on her cushion. She had left her white leather bag at my side with my tablet, data chips, and credits ready to come out when the time was right. </p><p>Joll eventually slithered his way over to me, taking a spot by my side. He was interested in this deal I had been stood up on; he wanted to see if there was a place for him. </p><p>There definitely was. </p><p>“I hope you’ll forgive me,” Joll said, he was good and drunk, “You don’t have a name I recognize, but Holst agreed to a sit down with you…”</p><p>I smiled sweetly, pouring him a shot from a large half-empty bottle on the table, “I might not have a name, but I have an interesting proposal.”</p><p>We knocked our drinks back. </p><p>Across the long table three of the women had started dancing together, climbing on top, laughing loudly, falling over themselves. If I managed to pull off this deal, I’d happily celebrate with them. </p><p>“Is this for Holst’s ears only?” Joll asked, leaning in close. </p><p>I made a prim shake of my head, “I'm just wanted an introduction. The actual deal is for Boz Uhdea.”</p><p>Joll laughed, his head tilting back. Heads turned at the loud sound. </p><p>“I like your confidence,” he said, with a friendly hand on my back. Joll turned to his entourage, “Get out there and dance,” he said with a grin, “We’ll catch up with you.”</p><p>One of the women, a blue-skinned Twi’lek, was pulling on Ahobri’s hand. She met my eyes before getting swept away with the large group. </p><p>I found myself alone with Joll. </p><p>I was treading on thin ice. Jukhara was going to find out about this meeting. There was no way to avoid it. It would put a strain on Ahobri’s relationship with her. I needed to make sure this went smoothly. </p><p>Joll didn’t remember me; it had been years since we had last seen each other, and I didn’t have a big scar on my face the last time we crossed paths. </p><p>“Thanks for taking the time,” I said, pouring us another round from the bottle on the table. </p><p>“You piqued my curiosity,” Joll admitted, “So, what’s this deal all about?”</p><p>We knocked our drinks back. </p><p>“I’m employed by an organization that wants to get into business with the Uhdea family,” I said, with a coy smile, “I’m here to make an offer of goodwill. I want a sit down with Boz.”</p><p>I took out the black clutch and made a show of placing the fifteen hundred credits out on the table. </p><p>“Can this buy me a meeting?” I asked. </p><p>Joll’s expression was kept carefully neutral, but I saw the light change in his eyes as I stacked the chips. </p><p>“Who’s employing you?” Joll asked, looking at the handsome pile of credits and back to me. </p><p>“They’d like to remain anonymous. Which is why they hired me,” I replied easily. </p><p>“This is enough money for me to want to connect you with Boz,” Joll said, picking up a credit chip and flicking it up in the air with his thumb, “But I need something to whet his appetite. Otherwise, you’ll just be wasting your employer’s money.”</p><p>“That’s why I brought this,” I said, pulling out the tablet and punching in my security code, “My employer has access to certain information that can greatly benefit the entire Uhdea family.”</p><p>I pulled up the report on Bahol Tas and Fir Sekel, proving that they had been ratting the family out to the New Republic government. </p><p>I passed the tablet over to Joll. This time he wasn’t able to hide his shock. His eyes narrowed, his wide mouth turning down.  </p><p>He scrolled through the report, seeing the names and the proof of their betrayal. </p><p>“This is a serious accusation,” he said, looking intimidated by the information he was holding. </p><p>“My employer means business,” I replied, staying aloof, “Take the credits. Pass my data chip on to Boz. The chip has my private line, so you can contact me.”</p><p>Joll was still scrolling through the report, his brows drawing in, “Boz is going to want to investigate this first."</p><p>“I understand. I imagine it will take a week or two.”</p><p>Joll was nodding, not expecting to have a deal like this land in his lap, “That’s what I would guess,” he replied, his voice distant as he thought. </p><p>He passed me back the tablet. I removed the data chip from the case, double checking the mark in the corner to make sure it was the right one. </p><p>Joll called in an underling to whisk away the data chip and the credits. </p><p>This time he poured the shots. </p><p>“Well, Mara Zhang, it’s been a pleasure doing business with you.”</p><p>We touched glasses and I prayed that this wasn’t going to fuck everything up for Ahobri. </p><p>***</p><p>It was time for me to leave the casino. </p><p>The Hutts operated like Snoke did; Joll could be assigning a person to have me trailed. </p><p>I made my way through the casino, finding Ahobri in the middle of Joll’s posse, a drink in her hand, the blue-skinned Twi’lek woman dancing close. She made way for me as I joined them on the dance floor.</p><p>I passed her my black clutch with a nice cushion of credits inside. I’d be taking her white bag, with my tablet and the rest of the money. </p><p>“We have a deal,” I said, close to Ahobri’s ear, “I’m going to find a place to crash. Call me tomorrow.”</p><p>Ahobri’s eyes were dreamy. She gave me a slow kiss. She had taken at least a couple hits of Euphoria, “Later babe,” she said. </p><p>I quickly made my way out of Helix, flagging a speeder from one of the landings. </p><p>I had the driver drop me off one neighborhood over. Then I strode off in search of another hub, my heels clicking along the smooth pavement. I had drunk enough that it took concentration to keep from tripping over my own feet. </p><p>We were only a few hours away from dawn, so I wasn’t the only person making my way home from a night out. </p><p>When I got into the second speeder, I told the driver to take me to the nicest hotel in Roice’s neighborhood. </p><p>I found myself in a gorgeous white marble lobby, with crystal light fixtures scattering light across the stone. </p><p>I made my way to the front desk and asked for a suite at the top of the building, pulling credits out of my bag. </p><p>By this hour, I was not looking as polished as I had when I entered the casino, but money was still money. </p><p>A concierge was assigned to take me up to the room. </p><p>They were good at their job - there wasn’t a hint of awkwardness despite the fact that I was visibly drunk and my only belongings were my dress and Ahobri’s purse. </p><p>I was shown through a three-room suite with a sitting room, dining room, and a very posh bedroom. </p><p>I tipped the concierge, and pulled off my dress as soon as he left the room. </p><p>There was a glossy liquor cabinet. I poured myself a nightcap before falling into the enormous bed. </p><p>
  <b>V</b>
</p><p>The next morning, I woke up to a call coming in on the tablet. It was a faint sound, and it took me a long time to react to it. </p><p>Ahobri. </p><p>It had to be Ahobri trying to get a hold of me.  </p><p>I groaned and grumbled, my head aching. I had to pull myself out of bed. </p><p>Daylight blasted in through the windows, and I squinted as I searched for the white handbag. </p><p>I answered Ahobri’s call. </p><p>“Hey, sorry that took so long,” I said, slumping down on the floor. </p><p>Ahobri looked just as tired as I did, “Girl, I’ve been trying to reach you for an hour,” she complained, “Where the fuck are you?”</p><p>I did not remember, “I’m in a hotel…” I said pushing myself up. I looked around, trying to find the name. There was a brochure near the front door. I squinted at the curling gold script, “It’s… the Dauphin… I think.”</p><p>“How the fuck did you wind up there?” Ahobri asked, surprised by the name. </p><p>“I’m billing my employer,” I said, moving to the liquor cabinet, “Let me call a shuttle for you. We’ll have breakfast.”</p><p>“See you soon.”</p><p>I shuffled over to the console by the door and requested a shuttle, breakfast, and a medical droid. </p><p>My shoulder felt awful. The skin was feeling red and tender beneath the bandage. I’m sure Astrid would throw a fit if she saw me right now. </p><p>I drank in the shower. The medical droid was waiting for me when I came out. </p><p>It took off the medtape and cleaned the burn, giving me a shot of some kind of antibiotic. I was grateful to have a droid taking care of me. At least I knew it wouldn’t judge my poor decisions. Before it left, I was able to get two green pills to help me wash the hangover away. </p><p>I wandered out from the bedroom to see that breakfast had been set up in the dining room. A service droid was waiting politely. </p><p>I took a seat, picking at the food while I waited for Ahobri to arrive. </p><p>“Siobhan!” she exclaimed. The concierge escorted her inside, carrying her two large suitcases. </p><p>I grinned with delight as she admired the suite. </p><p>By this time, I had a plush robe pulled around me, and I came out to greet her. </p><p>“This is incredible!” she said, kissing my cheek and giving me a tight hug. </p><p>“C’mon in. We just got breakfast.”</p><p>***</p><p>I was so happy to show off for Ahobri. I poured her a generous glass of bubbly alcohol. </p><p>“Ahobri, you are the only reason why I got that meeting last night. Thank you for being such a badass,” I toasted, touching my glass to hers. </p><p>“I liked it. A lot,” she said, meeting my eyes. </p><p>We took our time, enjoying the meal and finishing the bottle. </p><p>Outside the windows, the sun was shining. The sky was a warm shade of pinkish-orange. </p><p>After breakfast, we lounged around in the suite, draping ourselves over the furniture. It felt so nice not to have a timeline. Ahobri didn’t need to be back at The Outpost until the evening. I had told Ymir that he might not hear from me for a couple of days. </p><p>This was our time, and I was determined to enjoy it. We relaxed in the main room, clouds streaming past the windows. </p><p>I stayed in my robe. Ahobri changed into loose pants, a wrapper tied around her chest. </p><p>She caught me up on the rest of her evening. She had partied with Joll’s crew until Roice was done with his work. Joll had asked her about me, but he was three sheets to the wind by that time. Ahobri told him that I was from Artrix, someone that she had met through another friend. There was a chance that Joll had been drunk enough that he wouldn’t even remember the conversation. </p><p>“Look, I just want to make sure that this won’t fuck up anything between you and Jukhara. She’s going to hear about it, one way or another.”</p><p>“I know that,” Ahobri said, turning towards me, “But when Holst left, I realized that I was invested. I wanted this to work out. I really like doing this. It’s exciting. I feel like I’m actually doing something.”</p><p>Now was the time to ask. </p><p>“Have you thought more about my offer?” I said.</p><p>“Of course I’ve thought about it,” Ahobri said, giving me a hard time. She made a frown, “It’s just… you understand how serious my concerns are.”</p><p>I nodded, giving her the space to continue. </p><p>“I mean, just knowing who you’re working for now… like, I don’t follow politics. It all just seems to be the same no matter what, but… some of the stories I hear… about them... they’re really bad.”</p><p>“That’s right,” I said. There was no reason to disagree with her. It was the truth. </p><p>Ahobri had more to say, “I thought about what you said, about… Kay.” It was better for her not to use his name. “And I see what you mean. Before I knew who he was, I wasn’t scared. He was just another guy. Honestly, I thought he was a dick, especially that morning.”</p><p>I laughed, “He’s like that all the time.”</p><p>Ahobri frowned again, “You’re playing with fire, Siobhan. You always have. There’s a part of me that wants to say yes… I mean, that’s why I set up the meeting with Joll, but it’s not an easy decision, and I don’t think that’s my final answer.”</p><p>“That’s why I need you, Ahobri,” I said, taking her hand, “I need someone that thinks like you do. I’m all on my own right now. I need a friend with me.”</p><p>Ahobri pulled her hand away, her expression drawing in. “This is either the best opportunity I’ve ever had, or I’m throwing my life away,” she paused again, her lower lip pulling between her teeth, “Siobhan, what do you want out of all of this?”</p><p>I laughed, leaning back, my hands on my knees. My robe was loose and open. “I want to make something of my own,” I told her, without hesitation, “I want to build a house of my own, with a crew of my own. My people.”</p><p>Ahobri watched me carefully, “You couldn't give me an answer before. You didn’t have a plan when you bought your contract.”</p><p>“I didn’t know what I wanted then, not really,” I said.</p><p>Going after Ymir was just an idea. </p><p>“These deals I’m making, it’s just the beginning,” I continued, “My boss has me orchestrating where these groups do business. If I play my cards right, they’ll be answering to me. That’s why I need a right-hand person. You have the mind for it. Without you, I would have been stuck last night.”</p><p>“I watched you command Roice. I don’t think you needed me.”</p><p>I shook my head, “It’s not that simple. It doesn’t always work like that,” I said, “We wouldn’t be at war if my boss could just command people to do whatever he wanted.”</p><p>Ahobri waited for me to speak my piece. It looked like she wanted me to convince her. </p><p>“How about I tell you all the reasons why you shouldn’t come with me,” I said with a grin, going to the liquor cabinet for a bottle of wine.</p><p>She laughed, head tilting back, teeth flashing, “Lay it on me.”</p><p>I <i>popped</i> the cork out, deciding to show off, “To start, I work for the most dangerous man in the Galaxy.” I handed her the bottle, and she took a swig from the neck. </p><p>“You’re finally being honest with me,” Ahobri said. </p><p>We took a seat on the floor, sitting shoulder to shoulder, just like we would during our free time at The Outpost. </p><p>“Kay is awful,” I continued, taking a deep gulp. “All of them are pretty awful.”</p><p>“The officers that roll through The Outpost are a pain in the ass,” Ahobri said. </p><p>“They’re all like that, but I’ve made some friends.” </p><p>I thought about Ekene, Astrid, and Phasma. </p><p>“You always make friends,” Ahobri replied. </p><p>“I lost my fucking mind after my last job,” I told her, “They had me out fighting civilians. They called them terrorists, but they were just a group of civilians.”</p><p>Ahobri had been warming up, starting to banter, but now she paused again, setting the bottle down. </p><p>“I was good at that job,” I said, feeling the way my mouth drew in, letting her see my bitterness, “I’m really good at this, Ahobri. I had a choice to make after my fight with Ymir, and I’ve made the decision to take this path. So it isn’t going to get any better.”</p><p>“Siobhan…”</p><p>“I’m cutting deals right now, but it’s not going to stay that way. They’re going to have me doing work that hurts people.”</p><p>We were silent for some time after that, each of us staring off into the expensive hotel room - all in shades of white and cream and gold. </p><p>“So have you given up on killing him?” Ahobri asked, as she finished the last of the bottle.</p><p>I shook my head, “I have to bide my time. I have to get stronger. I have to make a plan.”</p><p>My body and mind were clouded with alcohol. </p><p>“It’s a lot to think about,” Ahobri finally said, “You really make this sound like it’s a bad decision.”</p><p>I barked a laugh, leaning my head on her shoulder. </p><p>It was late afternoon, now. The sky just beginning to darken. </p><p>Ahobri and I took a nap together, dozing in the massive bed. </p><p>She initiated the first kiss, her lips softly brushing against mine. </p><p>I kissed her back, my eyes closed, hovering between sleep and waking. </p><p>Our movements were slow and gentle. </p><p>Ahobri helped me out of the robe. Her fingertips grazed across my skin - the healing bruises, the medtape hiding the worst parts of the burn. She ran her hands along my arms, down my belly, the tops of my thighs. </p><p>It felt like we were getting reacquainted. I could feel her own energy reaching towards me, that soft Twi’lek empathy. </p><p>I sighed and drifted under her touch. </p><p>When she was done, I turned my attention to her, kissing my way across her body. My lips grazed across her cheeks, down her neck. She gasped and sighed as I touched her, her head leaning back into the pillows.</p><p>We made love. </p><p>***</p><p>It was dark when we were done. </p><p>We were quiet on our way out of the hotel. </p><p>Ahobri’s fingers wrapped through mine as we sat in the shuttle. </p><p>She smiled when she saw Rosie waiting for me in the garage. </p><p>I carried her two suitcases up the ramp of the cargo bay. I unpacked my kit bag and credits, making sure to remove the blaster. </p><p>Ahobri took herself on a tour of the ship, then settled herself into the copilot’s chair. I joined her, plopping down in the captain’s seat.</p><p>“It’s a lot to think about,” she said, breaking the comfortable silence between us. </p><p>“Take some more time,” I encouraged, warming up the engines, “It’s going to be at least week or two before Boz wants to meet. You can let me know then.”</p><p>“Thanks, Siobhan,” Ahobri said. </p><p>We made the short trip between Zeltros and Artrix, her orbiting moon. </p><p>I took Ahobri to The Outpost and helped her unload her things. </p><p>“Do you know what you’re going to tell Jukhara?” I asked. </p><p>She shook her head, “I’ll figure it out.”</p><p>We kissed and hugged our goodbyes on the dark, windy landing.</p><p>“You’ve always made me feel brave,” Ahobri said, her lips brushing my cheek. </p><p>Emotion made my reply catch in my throat. Ahobri noticed. </p><p>“I love you, Siobhan,” she said. </p><p>That was the moment when I knew she’d say yes. </p><p>Five years ago, we almost left this place together, but instead I had left her behind. </p><p>We had another chance. </p><p>I returned to my ship while Ahobri returned to The Outpost. </p><p>The next time, we’d be leaving together.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I have such mixed feelings about Siobhan wanting to bring Ahobri into her plans. In a lot of ways, Siobhan also acts like a really bad boyfriend… we'll see how this unfolds. </p><p>Hope y’all are enjoying the ride! </p><p>Thanks so much for following this story. I always love to hear from you in the comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Walking the Line</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Siobhan reaches out to her old boss, Tynne Precore, to see if she can rope him into the deal she’s trying to make with the Smuggler’s Alliance. </p>
<p>Kylo Ren and his Knights are about to move against Coyerti and reclaim the Ado sector for the First Order. </p>
<p>We also see Siobhan navigating lots of different relationships with Hux, Phasma, Ren’s Knights, and more!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>I</b>
</p>
<p>I left Artrix as soon as I dropped Ahobri off at The Outpost. </p>
<p>The Hutts would be keeping an eye on me, so it was better to disappear. </p>
<p>I made a short jump to a nowhere sector of the Outer Rim, far away from Hutt territory. The hyperspace trip gave me time to gather my thoughts. </p>
<p>My time with Ahobri had my head spinning with possibilities. She’d be able to help me build a relationship with the Hutts. If I kept skimming percentages, I’d have tens of thousands, maybe even hundreds of thousands of credits coming my way. I could establish myself outside the reach of Ymir and the First Order.  </p>
<p>When I came out of hyperspace, I had a plan to make another stab at the Smuggler’s Alliance. Arjun must have completed his heist on Greth Lan-Dwu’s fuel supply shipments. I should be able to use that to get to Tynne. </p>
<p>I pulled up my comms to call Ymir and saw a new message. </p>
<p>It was from Joll: [Mara. Still on Zeltros? I sent the report up the ranks. Boz has read it. We have to complete our investigation, but you’ve caught his attention. Expect a meeting in the next few days, and stay by your comms for updates.]</p>
<p>Fuck yes! I grinned to myself in the empty cockpit. </p>
<p>Once I had an in with Boz, I’d be able to coordinate with the rest of the Hutts. I wouldn’t be stuck working my way through people like Roice. </p>
<p>I typed a quick message: [Thanks Joll. Standing by.]</p>
<p>I knew I needed to call Ymir with an update. I had told him it might be a few days, and that time had passed. But if I called him, he was just going to tell me to go back to the Finalizer. I needed a reason to stay out here. I needed another lead on my assignment. </p>
<p>Filled with fresh confidence, I decided to hold off calling Ymir. I reached out to Arjun. </p>
<p>He answered my call himself.</p>
<p>“Siobhan, what’s the occasion?” he asked, skepticism moving across his wide snout. </p>
<p>“I wanted to know how the job went,” I said, friendly and casual. </p>
<p>Arjun understood this wasn’t a social call, “We got the payload without any issues. We’ve already sold three quarters of it.”</p>
<p>“Is Matthias jealous?” I asked. </p>
<p>Matthias Krull was the young upstart in the Smuggler’s Alliance. He was ambitious, intelligent, and very competitive. </p>
<p>“I think the rest of the leadership just heard about our success,” Arjun replied, knowing that I was about to ask for a favor. </p>
<p>I grinned, “I wanted to get in touch with Tynne. Do you have his location and comms information?”</p>
<p>The Trandoshan arched a scaley brow, “You are bold. I don’t think Tynne wants to talk with you.”</p>
<p>“Oh I think you might be able to soften him up for me,” I said, sweetly. </p>
<p>Arjun laughed. </p>
<p>I had worked on Tynne’s crew for a couple of years, right after I left The Outpost. My ticket into the Resistance was helping them steal his weapons payload. I hadn’t said a word to Tynne since.</p>
<p>“That’ll cost you,” Arjun said. </p>
<p>“I was thinking three hundred credits should do it,” I replied, cleaning a nail. </p>
<p>“Tynne can’t find out he’s only worth three hundred credits to you,” Arjun bantered, “Four hundred, for me to put in a good word with the old bastard.”</p>
<p>“He already knows me. I’ll do three fifty.”</p>
<p>“It’s a deal. You can pay me next time we meet,” Arjun said, “What are you going to offer Tynne?”</p>
<p>He wanted to know if he was about to have a rival. </p>
<p>“Pretty much the same deal I offered you, but I’m making sure everyone’s information is unique,” I replied, calming his fears, “I’m not going to send him out to siphon fuel lines.”</p>
<p>“I knew you were smarter than that, but I had to make sure,” Arjun said, “I’ll make the call tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“Make it now,” I said, “I’m next to Tynne’s territory.” </p>
<p>It was a lie, but I needed to make sure Arjun didn’t procrastinate. </p>
<p>Arjun frowned, “Fine, I’ll call him now and send you the coordinates after.”</p>
<p>“You’re a dear,” I said, “Let me know when you’ve sold off all the fuel, and I’ll get you information on a new target.”</p>
<p>I ended the call. </p>
<p>It was time to talk with Ymir. I punched in his code.</p>
<p>I touched my healing right shoulder, marked by Ren’s lightsaber. I felt that Yuri had my back, but Ren and Adram, the rest of his Knights, had probably done their best to make me look bad. There was a chance Ymir thought I had acted out. I might be walking into punishment. </p>
<p>“Siobhan, you left me waiting,” Ymir greeted, sternly. </p>
<p>“I have good news,” I replied with a sweet smile, leaning forward. </p>
<p>“What is it?” </p>
<p>“I’ll have a meeting with Boz Uhdea in the next few days,” I said, “I used the report on Bahol Tas and Fir Sekel.”</p>
<p>Ymir gave a nod, his arms crossing over his chest and the corner of his mouth moving into a smile, “Is that all?”</p>
<p>“I’m headed off to meet with Tynne Precore and see if I can get him to bite. That’ll clear another branch of the Smuggler’s Alliance off your hyperspace routes.”</p>
<p>“I’m glad to see you’re making real progress,” he said, “Do you have a date for the meeting with the Uhdeas?”</p>
<p>Ymir refused to be impressed. </p>
<p>“Not yet. My contact just called me to say we’ll meet after they handle Bahol and Fir.”</p>
<p>“I’ll watch the reports. My network will know if the Uhdeas clean house,” Ymir said, and took a breath, “We should talk about what happened between you and Kylo Ren.”</p>
<p>Here we go.</p>
<p>“What do you want to know?” I asked, with a testy little smile. </p>
<p>“I just had a meeting with Dr. Vogt,” he began, “I was surprised to discover that she knew about the altercation before I did.”</p>
<p>I shrugged, a sharp note of pain running from my right shoulder, “It wasn’t on purpose. I decided to go to the soldier’s medbay and Astrid just happened to be there.”</p>
<p>“So let’s hear your side of the story. I want to be done with this.”</p>
<p>“It’s not complicated,” I said, “We took a break on our way to the Kyber caves. Ren challenged me to a sparring match. I was winning the fight and he decided to get physical instead of lose.”</p>
<p>I refused to plead my case with Ymir. I wasn’t going to go on the defensive. </p>
<p>“Kylo Ren told me that he made the first move against you,” Ymir said. I had given him the answer he wanted, “I’m on the Base. Contact me after your meeting with Tynne. We’ll be taking action in the Ado sector soon and I might have a role for you to play.”</p>
<p>“Sure thing, boss,” I said. </p>
<p>“I expect a written report,” Ymir said, and ended the call.  </p>
<p>When I checked my console again, Arjun had sent me Tynne’s coordinates and contact information. </p>
<p>The crew wasn’t where I expected them to be. It looked like he had moved closer to Matthias’s territory, along the northern borders of the Mid- and Outer Rim.</p>
<p>I made the hyperspace calculations and set off into the swirling blue. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>There was more work to be done. </p>
<p>I reorganized my things, making sure nothing was lying around that would make Tynne suspicious. I didn’t expect him to see inside my ship, but it was good to be careful. </p>
<p>Tynne was not going to trust me. I was on his shit-list, but, at the end of the day, he was a Resistance sympathizer. I could use that in my favor. Arjun’s word would help, along with the successful fuel heist. </p>
<p>I packed my nice clothes away. I’d go into this meeting without a shower or cleaning up. </p>
<p>However, I did take the time to change bandages, trying my best not to look at the burn - blistered, pink, and raw-looking.</p>
<p>Tynne did not like people that put on a show, and I didn’t want him to think I had changed all that much. The last time he had seen me, I was just another sloppy drunk in his crew. He had kept me around because I was excellent at talking my way through checkpoints and fixing broken machinery. </p>
<p>I spent some time reading through reports on my tablet, pulling up new information from the sectors that I wanted Tynne and his crew to move into, trying to decide what would make him excited. </p>
<p>As I sat in the cockpit, music thumping in my speakers, I noticed a couple of warning lights blinking on the dash. There was some kind of minor electrical short. </p>
<p>I went to the control box in the cargo bay. On the way, I looked for flickering lighting panels, or anything else that indicated a bigger problem, and couldn’t find anything. I reset the control box. When I returned to the cockpit, the warning lights were gone. </p>
<p>It had to be a gremlin, something titchy from my work on the fuel injector. </p>
<p>I finished putting together information on data chips and popped out of hyperspace. I took out the chips that were for the Uhdea family - the last thing I needed was for Tynne to get high-level intelligence on the Hutts. </p>
<p>When my preparations were complete and Rosie was set to her to a smuggling signature, I punched in the code for Tynne’s line. </p>
<p>“Who is this?” A woman demanded. It was audio only. Her voice sounded familiar.</p>
<p>“It’s Siobhan Zhang,” I said with an easy grin, knowing she could see me on her end, “Is Tynne there?”</p>
<p>“Fuck you, Siobhan. What do you want?” I knew exactly who it was now. </p>
<p>“Channa!” I greeted, “I missed you. How’s it hangin’?”</p>
<p>She had been the captain on that mission where we were intercepted by the Resistance. I was directly responsible for the lost payload that day. </p>
<p>I had no idea if I was going to be able to charm my way through Channa, but I was going to try. I didn’t know if mindtricks could work over a comms system, but I’d give it a shot if I had to. </p>
<p>“You aren’t trying to crawl back to us for work are you? Are you really that washed up?” she said, still refusing to switch to video on her comms. </p>
<p>“I thought time healed all wounds,” I replied breezily, “I’m here with an offer for Tynne. Arjun should have--”</p>
<p>Channa cut me off, “Nope. You can go peddle your baanthashit elsewhere.” </p>
<p>She was the worst person I could be speaking to. </p>
<p>Channa did not tolerate other people’s nonsense. She was Tynne’s right hand woman - practically a one-person crew. She was an excellent pilot, mechanic, good with a blaster, and could negotiate better than a politician. </p>
<p>She was also some of the best sex I had ever had. We had been on-again-off-again for my entire time in that crew. I remembered the way she made my toes curl and belly tighten with pleasure. </p>
<p>I was opening my mouth to respond when I heard a loud, grumpy voice in the background. </p>
<p>“Channa, what is it? Who’s on the line?”</p>
<p>“It’s Siobhan,” I heard her say, turning away from the comms microphone, “She has some fucking scheme…”</p>
<p>“Arjun just called me about her,” I heard Tynne say, sounding like he was at the opposite end of the room. </p>
<p>“We don’t need to do what Arjun says,” Channa replied, still facing away from the microphone. </p>
<p>I heard a sliding, shuffling sound on the end of the line. Maybe it was Tynne switching seats with her. </p>
<p>“What is it, Zhang?” Tynne asked, turning on the video feed. His grizzled, bearded face flickered to life on my screen. </p>
<p>“I’m here to make a deal,” I said, “Will you have a sit-down?”</p>
<p>Tynne frowned and grumbled, clearly wanting nothing to do with me, “You gave Arjun the information on Greth Lan-Dwu?”</p>
<p>“I did.”</p>
<p>There was a pause.</p>
<p>“You can come aboard. Hangar Four.”</p>
<p>The line went dead. For Tynne, that was a pretty warm welcome. </p>
<p>I cruised through open space towards Tynne’s command ship. It was the same shitty vessel he was flying five years ago. </p>
<p>The hangar was dim and crowded. I squeezed myself in between a collection of pipes and spare parts and another ragged crew ship. </p>
<p>Rosie fit right in. </p>
<p>I walked down the side ramp in my poncho and utility pants, a satchel hanging carelessly off my left shoulder. </p>
<p>Tynne and Channa were there to meet me. </p>
<p>Both of them had their arms folded. They had bored, skeptical expressions on their faces.</p>
<p>“Tynne, you haven’t aged a day,” I greeted.</p>
<p>He had been a grizzled old man when I joined his crew, and he was a grizzled old man now. </p>
<p>His wiry white beard went down to his chest, stained yellow around his mouth. I thought I recognized the exact pair of coveralls he was wearing - they had the same tears on the knee, and engine grease stains on the knees. He wore a dirty shirt. It had probably been white at some point, but now it was a dingy yellow-brown. </p>
<p>“I’m surprised you let someone fuck up your face,” Tynne replied. </p>
<p>“I put my whoring days behind me five years ago,” I said with a grin. </p>
<p>Channa gave me a look, lips pursed together, one eyebrow raising. </p>
<p>She had aged. The lines around her mouth were deeper, and I noticed the wrinkles at the corners of her eyes. There were new tattoos on her forearms. </p>
<p>“You went to fight for the Resistance, right? Like your Pa?” Tynne asked. </p>
<p>“I did.”</p>
<p>Tynne paused, appraising me, “Okay,” he said decisively, then motioned for me to follow him out of the hangar. </p>
<p>I heard Channa sigh, following me. </p>
<p>The ship was just as dark and dirty as I remembered. There were hunks of broken machinery scattered all over the halls. Paint and grease stains decorated the walls and floors. </p>
<p>Tynne loved machines. His ship was one big workshop with a kitchen and a handful of sleeping quarters. Most of the crew had their own vehicles to sleep in. </p>
<p>Channa decided to catch up on our walk together. “Why the fuck would Arjun send you to us?” she demanded. </p>
<p>“Money. It’s a really good deal,” I answered, keeping cool. </p>
<p>“I’m going to have some words with him,” she grumbled.</p>
<p>“I was surprised when Arjun gave me the coordinates,” I said, digging for information, “Since when do you have territory out here?”</p>
<p>“Since I wanted to keep an eye on Matthias,” Tynne answered, glancing my way. </p>
<p>“Oh?”</p>
<p>Tynne didn’t have anything to add. </p>
<p>He led me to his messy workshop, and motioned for me to take a seat on the bench. </p>
<p>“Channa, you can get back to the deck. I’ll handle this with Zhang.”</p>
<p>She started to protest, but Tynne gave her a look. He closed the door behind us. </p>
<p>Tynne took a seat across from me. I could see his bottle of whiskey in its usual place on the table. </p>
<p>“I still haven’t forgiven you for helping steal my payload,” Tynne said. </p>
<p>“It was for a good cause,” I replied with a grin, my hands out to either side. </p>
<p>“You fucked me over, Zhang,” he said. </p>
<p>“I hope this will make things right between us.”</p>
<p>Tynne shrugged and spat to the side. </p>
<p>I had a moment. He was interested. So I got right to the point. He hated to listen to a sales pitch.</p>
<p>“I’m here on behalf of my employer. They want to pay you to leave several sectors of your territory,” I replied. </p>
<p>“How much?” Tynne asked, folding his arms again. </p>
<p>“One hundred twenty thousand credits each cycle. I’ll give you half up front today, with a week to clear your crew out.”</p>
<p>Tynne’s eyes narrowed with suspicion, “You don’t know people with that kind of money.”</p>
<p>“I spent five years in the military. I run with a different crowd now.”</p>
<p>He was silent for an uncomfortably long time - staring at me as he thought. I waited.</p>
<p>I was so grateful for my training. Tynne had always hated my inability to sit still and shut up; now he saw me sitting in one place, quiet and patient. </p>
<p>“What was the deal you offered to Arjun?” he asked. </p>
<p>“The same,” I replied, “One hundred twenty thousand credits each cycle to stay out of a few specific sectors. I’ll also be providing information on new targets. There won’t be overlap between you and Arjun.”</p>
<p>“That’s why he was able to do the job on Greth Lan-Dwu?”</p>
<p>I smiled, “I was able to provide a report that gave him schedules of their shipments, maps of their routes, and information on their security. </p>
<p>“Show me the sectors your boss wants us to move out of,” Tynne said, holding out a gnarled hand, his fingers stained with t’bac and engine grease. </p>
<p>I activated my tablet, pulled up the map, and passed it over. There was a lock setting so Tynne couldn’t go exploring on the device. </p>
<p>Tynne considered the map for a full minute. Then he turned away from me and activated an old comms box on top of his workshop desk. </p>
<p>“Arjun,” he barked into the speaker. </p>
<p>“Tynne?” I heard Arjun reply. There wasn’t a video feed, just audio coming from the dented metal box. </p>
<p>“I have Siobhan Zhang sitting with me in my workshop,” Tynne said, making heavy eye contact with me, “She’s offering one hundred twenty thousand credits, through an unnamed employer, to move out of more than half my territory.”</p>
<p>“Uh, yes?” Arjun responded, not wanting to have this conversation with Tynne. </p>
<p>“Do we know who this employer is?” Tynne continued, gruffly. </p>
<p>“No…” Arjun said, trying to find a way to get off the line. </p>
<p>“She’s good for the money?” Tynne asked. </p>
<p>“She is.”</p>
<p>Tynne hit a button on the comms box, ending the call, “And what information do you have for me?”</p>
<p>I grinned and removed a data chip from the tablet case, “We have information on Blas Tech. I thought it’d be fitting.”</p>
<p>Despite himself, Tynne smiled, revealing his collection of missing and stained teeth. I passed him the data chip.  </p>
<p>“I’ll take the deal,” he said, twirling the chip between two fingers.</p>
<p>“Then we should talk about my cut,” I replied. </p>
<p>Tynne laughed. “You still owe me for what you stole.”</p>
<p>“That’s why I’m coming to you with a deal for hundreds of thousands of credits,” I said, “I think five percent is fair.”</p>
<p>Tynne was still laughing, shaking his head, “You are just as annoying as I remembered,” he said, “What are you getting from Arjun?”</p>
<p>“Eight percent,” I answered with a smile. </p>
<p>“Oh, you couldn’t get ten?” Tynne bantered. </p>
<p>“I tried.”</p>
<p>Tynne snorted, “I’ll do three percent, as a formality. I’ll take my half today. You’ll get your cut when we finish the deal, minus what you owe me.”</p>
<p>This was as far as I was going to get with Tynne. He was warmed up, remembering that he liked me. If I pushed the issue, he would shut down.</p>
<p>“I’ll take it,” I said, removing the chip from the back of the tablet. </p>
<p>“I’m assuming that you have a proposal in mind for the rest of the ‘Alliance members?” Tynne said, deceptively casual. </p>
<p>“That’s right,” I answered.</p>
<p>I was walking into a minefield. Tynne was looking to catch me in a lie. </p>
<p>“And what do you plan to offer the rest of us?”</p>
<p>“The same thing,” I said, “My employer wants the Smuggler’s Alliance to end activities in certain sectors. We’ll provide regular payments each cycle and information on other targets.”</p>
<p>Tynne considered my answer, his eyes never leaving me, “I’m going to call a council meeting,” he said. “I want to do some digging before this goes any further.”</p>
<p>“I understand,” I said, cool and calm. </p>
<p>“Don’t contact anyone else in the Smuggler’s Alliance. We’ll contact you.” Tynne added. </p>
<p>This was either exactly what I needed, or I was about to have a real serious problem on my hands. </p>
<p>Vin had discovered that I was working for the First Order, and Tynne had access to the same information Vin had. </p>
<p>Sitting on the bench in Tynne’s disorganized workshop, we finished the deal. We made the exchange of credits and information without fanfare. </p>
<p>I’d be back in a week to confirm he was out of his territory. I’d deliver the second half of the payment, then I’d get my three percent. It was better than nothing.</p>
<p>Afterwards we shook hands and downed a shot of whiskey. </p>
<p>I returned to Rosie and left Tynne’s ship, immediately jumping to a sector outside his territory to regroup. </p>
<p>
  <b>II</b>
</p>
<p>Rosie needed fuel. </p>
<p>When I emerged from the small hyperspace jump, I took her down to the nearest depot.I took the opportunity to stock up on beer and snacks.</p>
<p>When I returned to Rosie there was a message waiting from Ymir: [Return to Base after your negotiations.]</p>
<p>There wasn’t anything else I could do to stall. </p>
<p>I was headed back to the Unknown Regions.  </p>
<p>Before the long hyperspace jump, I typed a message to Ahobri, wishing she had a more secure line: [Got the word that the deal is moving forward. Should know about the meeting in the next few days. Let me know if anyone contacts you, or if you have updates.]</p>
<p>I was worried about Jukhara’s reaction. Ahobri had used Joll to connect me with the Hutts after Jukhara had refused. The two women had worked together for over a decade now. Jukhara would see this as an act of disloyalty, and that was an unforgivable offense. </p>
<p>I sat in the captain’s chair, staring out at the swirling blue void of hyperspace, hurtling towards the Unknown Regions and the First Order’s super weapon. </p>
<p>My thoughts were loud in my mind. </p>
<p>Vin had discovered my lie. He knew I was working for the First Order - he might have discovered that I was their new Sith. I would never forget the hurt in his voice as he tried to cut ties with me, thinking that I might threaten his family in response. </p>
<p>I thought about Tynne, who was trying to figure out what I was up to. I thought about Ahobri. </p>
<p>I strode through the hall to my cargo bay. I pulled the poncho over my head. I removed my boots and socks, dropping them on the floor before settling into a cross-legged seat.</p>
<p>I closed my eyes and slowed my breathing, moving into meditation for the first time in many days. </p>
<p>There was fear in my heart - fear that I might be losing the people closest to me. Jukhara had taken me off the streets, put a roof over my head and money in my pockets. Even after I bought my contract and left The Outpost, she was there for me. </p>
<p>Ahobri had always been at my side, no matter what. I wanted her to have what I had. I wanted her to have money and power, not to live out the rest of her days in a brothel. She deserved better than that. </p>
<p>Doubt and fear bubbled up in my chest. </p>
<p>I <i>reached</i> for the Darkside, opening my heart, allowing my thoughts to move.</p>
<p>Tynne had chosen to meet with me because he thought I had become a soldier. That part was true, but I served at Ymir’s side, not under a Resistance banner.  He would be horrified to find out what I had done on Otomok. </p>
<p>I remembered Brennan, standing alone in the interrogation room, the wounded look in his eyes - already defeated. </p>
<p>Those thoughts flowed from me and into the gaping chasm of the Darkside. </p>
<p>I refused to be like Ren - conflicted, isolated. </p>
<p>Things were finally going my way. I wasn’t going to stumble now. </p>
<p>The Darkside was hungry. It accepted my offering. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>After my meditation I exercised, keeping off my injured shoulder. When I was done working out, I applied a new bandage, took a nap, then returned to the cockpit to start working on my report for Ymir. </p>
<p>I was determined to leave out as much information as possible. </p>
<p>I went back and forth on entering Ahobri’s name. I wanted to bring her in with me, and I knew it would piss Ymir off to find out I had lied. Still, I didn’t want to have her name recorded in a First Order report. </p>
<p>For the version of the story in my report, Ahobri became Viqui. I also left out the information about meeting Roice at his home, and the fallout with Holst. </p>
<p>It was a dangerous game. Ymir could know I was leaving out information and call me out at an inopportune time. </p>
<p>Still, I wasn’t willing to show my hand. </p>
<p>As I worked, warning lights began to appear across the dashboard of my ship. </p>
<p>What now?</p>
<p>The warning lights I noticed earlier had seemed like a false alarm after my repairs to the fuel injector. This was bad.</p>
<p>It looked like I had a serious electrical problem on my hands. </p>
<p>When I bought this ship, I knew she had bad wiring. I had waited, instead of putting in the work to prevent the issues, and now it was coming back to bite me in the ass.  </p>
<p>I had to keep her flying. The last hours of my flight in hyperspace were spent running around Rosie, making temporary fixes, cursing the whole time. </p>
<p>I was deep in the Unknown Regions. If I left hyperspace now I’d have to call someone in to rescue me. I was not going to send a distress call to the fucking Finalizer. </p>
<p>Instead, I kept digging through the interior of my ship, rerouting power to keep the hyperdrive going. </p>
<p>I emerged from hyperspace with Rosie hanging on by a thread. </p>
<p>When I reached out to the bridge of the Finalizer, I fought to keep my voice calm as I requested a hangar.  </p>
<p>“Madam Siniang, Lord Ymir wants you to meet him on the Base,” the lieutenant said. </p>
<p>I just needed to get through atmosphere. I wasn’t going to let them know how much trouble I was in. </p>
<p>Rosie’s engines were sputtering. Keeping the hyperdrive active had taken everything my ship had left. </p>
<p>With my jaw clenched and hands moving across the dash, I brought Rosie down to the Base, alarm bells screaming at me as I managed to land her in the hangar. </p>
<p>Hux and another officer were there to see my glorious return to Starkiller Base. They stood by, hands clasped neatly, keeping their expressions neutral as I parked my junky little ship between Ren and Ymir’s vessels. </p>
<p>Inside the cockpit, I made a sigh of relief as I shut down the engines, resting my forehead on the dash. </p>
<p>I had made it in alive. That was all that mattered. </p>
<p>Hux and the officer saluted me as I exited my ship. He dismissed the other officer and escorted me across the yard, chattering the whole time. </p>
<p>“We’ve had the Knights of Ren aboard the Finalizer for a week,” he said, “I’m finally starting to be able to tell them apart. Lord Ymir is taking all of them to assist with the coup in the Ado sector…”</p>
<p>I pulled my jacket and poncho around me more tightly as we strode through the snowy yard. It felt good to have my lightsabers attached to my belt again. </p>
<p>Now that I wasn’t fighting to keep my ship in the air, I could pay attention to my surroundings. Units of soldiers were training on the icy concrete pad. </p>
<p>TIE fighters zipped overhead in neat formations. </p>
<p>“...Lord Ymir is currently training with Kylo Ren and his Knights. Would you like me to take you to them?” Hux asked, always eager to please. </p>
<p>“That’s fine. I’ll just head up to my quarters for now.” I said, ready to be out of the cold, “Are you going out on the mission to Coyerti?”</p>
<p>“I’ll be overseeing operations on the Base during the mission,” Hux replied, a hint of disappointment in his voice. </p>
<p>He was the benchwarmer. He’d be overseeing grunt work, while Ren and his Knights had all the fun. </p>
<p>As we approached the main building, I noticed a familiar ship on the landing pad. </p>
<p>It was Raj’s enormous flashy yacht. </p>
<p>I didn’t know he’d be here. This visit suddenly seemed like it was going to be more interesting. </p>
<p>Hux and I entered the main building together. He walked me all the way to my door. It could be helpful to catch up on the gossip. </p>
<p>“Want to have a drink?” I said, stepping into the sitting room. </p>
<p>“Um, yes, Lin,” Hux said, fumbling to use my first name. </p>
<p>I parked myself on the sofa, motioning for Hux to help himself to the liquor cabinet. </p>
<p>“You prefer whiskey?” he said, trying to show that he was paying attention. </p>
<p>“I do,” I replied with a smile. </p>
<p>He delivered my drink and took a seat next to me on the sofa. We touched glasses. </p>
<p>I got Hux warmed up, asking him questions about himself. He loved it. After that, I began probing for information. </p>
<p>I wanted to know if anyone else had found out about my fight with Ren on the mountainside. </p>
<p>Hux didn’t know anything. The Knights kept to themselves. They were either in the training rooms, or up in their quarters on Officer’s Row. The crew of the Finalizer thought they were impressive and frightening. </p>
<p>“It will be interesting having all of us working together,” Hux said, nearing the end of his drink, “Lord Ymir wanted to take this opportunity to begin planning our expansion into the sectors you’re clearing out.”</p>
<p>“So soon?” I asked, taking a sip. </p>
<p>I loved the way Hux just rolled over and gave me information. For the first time, I started to imagine that we could be friends. </p>
<p>“That’s why Lord Ymir wanted the four of us to talk. Do you think it’s too soon to begin having a presence in those areas?”</p>
<p>I wanted to know what they were teaching these guys in their fancy military schools. </p>
<p>“The Smuggler’s Alliance has been around for fifty years,” I said, “I just got done making a deal with Tynne Precore. He’s old-school, worked with the Rebellion and Han Solo.” I made a pointed look towards Hux.  </p>
<p>Han Solo, father of our dear Kylo Ren. </p>
<p>Hux made a knowing expression, lips pressing together.  </p>
<p>“Him and his crew survived the Empire, and they’re strong supporters of the Resistance,” I continued, “It’s only been a couple of weeks. They’ll start making connections if the First Order immediately begins popping up in those sectors. Besides, what’s the plan for the star systems in those areas? Are we want to have a thousand little wars on our hands?”</p>
<p>Hux finished his drink while I spoke, not expecting to get such a long answer from me. As he set his glass down on the table, the door to the hallway opened and Ren strode in, cloak and mask over his face. </p>
<p>“Kylo Ren!” Hux said, swiftly rising to his feet, arms clasped behind his back. </p>
<p>Ren looked between the two of us, and I noticed a blush working its way up from underneath Hux’s collar. </p>
<p>The last time Hux and I talked, he finally put it together that Ren and I were fucking. He had seen the fresh rope burns and bite marks across my shoulders and upper arms. </p>
<p>“Lin and I were just discussing the plan to establish our presence to protect our hyperspace routes,” Hux blustered, obviously anxious. </p>
<p>“We have a meeting scheduled for tomorrow,” Ren said, his voice monotone through the ‘feed of his mask. </p>
<p>I felt a smirk tugging at my mouth, but I fought to keep my expression in check. </p>
<p>“Yes, Kylo Ren,” Hux said, “Has Lord Ymir been informed of Lin’s… Madam Siniang’s arrival?”</p>
<p>It was so much fun to watch him squirm. </p>
<p>“He’s on his way up,” Ren replied. </p>
<p>“Uh, yes, well, I should be going,” Hux said, making two small nervous bows. </p>
<p>“I’ll see you at the briefing,” I said with a little wave as he swiftly left the room. </p>
<p>The door closed behind him, Ren stayed where he was, looking at me.  </p>
<p>“Hux finally figured out we’re fucking,” I said with a grin, tilting back the rest of my drink, “Did he tell you?”</p>
<p>“Why would he tell me that?” Ren replied. </p>
<p>So the week apart hadn’t softened him up. </p>
<p>“How’s your leg?” I asked, resting my elbows along the back of the couch. </p>
<p>“Fine.”</p>
<p>The air was crackling with tension. I had shown Ren up in front of his own Knights. </p>
<p>Also, Raj was on the Base - Ren had lost it after I spent the night on Raj’s ship. </p>
<p>“The mission in the Ado sector sounds exciting,” I said, deciding to play nice, “Hux is sad he’s being left behind to watch the ship.”</p>
<p>“He doesn’t have enough combat experience to help,” Ren said, taking a seat in the nearest chair, “Lord Ymir hasn’t said anything about you joining us for the mission either.”</p>
<p>How sweet. </p>
<p>“That’s because I have a meeting with Boz Uhdea,” I said, refusing to take the bait. </p>
<p>“Who’s that?”</p>
<p>This time, the question sounded genuine. </p>
<p>“He’s one of the bosses in the Hutt family, he owns everything between Halla and Terr’sklar,” I said, “I just bagged another head of the Smuggler’s Alliance, Tynne Precore--” The door slid open and Ymir stepped inside. I had been planning to needle Ren about his father.</p>
<p>“I expected you to arrive around this time. Did Vice-Admiral Hux catch you up on our plans?” Ymir said, shrugging off a heavy winter coat and pulling off his gloves. </p>
<p>His cheeks were flushed. He took a seat on the couch opposite from me. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I think so,” I said, “He was telling me about the mission in the Ado sector, and that we’ll be having a briefing tomorrow to make plans on occupying the sectors I’m clearing out.”</p>
<p>Ymir gave a nod, “Any updates on the Hutts?” </p>
<p>I reached into my satchel and pulled out my tablet, pulling up the report I had made before passing it to Ymir. “I left out the colorful details,” I said. </p>
<p>Ren sat in his chair, irritated that I was getting all the attention. </p>
<p>“I had a sit down with my old boss, Tynne,” I said, as Ymir skimmed the report, “He’s calling a council meeting of the Smuggler’s Alliance, so I’m not going to have to hunt down the final three guys. They’ll come to me.”</p>
<p>Ymir’s mouth twisted to the side, “Is that actually a good thing?”</p>
<p>Ren leaned back in his chair. </p>
<p>“I think it’ll be fine,” I said, crossing my ankle over my knee, “Tynne took the deal. He’ll see that the money and information are good. The rest of them are going to feel left out.”</p>
<p>It was either that, or they’d follow the trail and discover that I had defected from the Resistance and was an agent of the First Order. </p>
<p>Ymir poked at my tablet for another moment before passing it back to me. “So you need to be on-call for the meeting with Boz?” </p>
<p>“Yeah, Joll said to stay available. The Hutts aren’t known for their patience,” I replied. </p>
<p>Ymir turned to Ren, “I’ve sent Ghent and Thalin out to support General Pryde on the Steadfast. A local warlord in the expansion region is threatening to attack the fleet.”</p>
<p>“Yes, Lord Ymir.”</p>
<p>I hadn’t interacted much with Ghent when I trained with Ren and his Knights. But Thalin had made an impression - he was a scary motherfucker with dead eyes, a natural killer. </p>
<p>Ymir clasped his hands, looking between the two of us. “I’ve spoken with both of you separately about your fight. I expect this matter to be settled.”</p>
<p>He waited for us to respond. </p>
<p>“Yes, Lord Ymir,” Ren said, stiff and formal. </p>
<p>“Yes… Lord Ymir,” I echoed. </p>
<p>It was like pulling fingernails every time he expected me to use his title. It made me feel like a trained animal. </p>
<p>“Good,” Ymir said, standing up, gathering his coat, “Kylo Ren, we’ll resume training in an hour. Siobhan, follow me.”</p>
<p>I followed Ymir into the main suite and through the door to his rooms. </p>
<p>I found myself in a posh office with rugs on the floor, art on the walls, and wooden furniture. It was so different from my grim room, decorated with a lone First Order banner. </p>
<p>“This is nice,” I said, resting a hand on a fine leather chair. </p>
<p>“Let me take a look at your shoulder,” Ymir said, walking over to me. </p>
<p>He was wearing long sleeved layers that hugged his chest and waist and clung to his muscular arms. He was usually covered with his jacket and half-cloak. I didn’t always get this view. He was handsome.</p>
<p>I pulled my poncho over my head. I was wearing a sleeveless black shirt beneath it. </p>
<p>Ymir ran a finger along the med tape, following it from my upper arm, around my shoulder, “After our meeting, have a medic droid up to check on your injury.” </p>
<p>He motioned for me to take a seat. He moved a chair so he was sitting directly across from me. </p>
<p>“I’m glad you bested Ren in the fight,” he said. </p>
<p>I fought the urge to laugh, and Ymir gave me a sly look. </p>
<p>“It’s good for his Knights to see your strength,” he continued, “You made quite the impression on Yuri.”</p>
<p>“I like him. He was the only one who wasn’t a dick to me.” </p>
<p>Ymir gave me a look of forced patience, “I heard that you provided guidance to both Adram and Yuri in the Kyber caves. What allowed you to remain centered through the meditation?”</p>
<p>“I had to go to the grassland on Korriban every other day for water. The caves are nothing compared to that.”</p>
<p>He nodded in response, “And did you see the same visions of destruction?”</p>
<p>I shook my head, “No.”</p>
<p>The visions of blood and death that had consumed me on my first trip had faded. There was still a sense of unease - the crystals understood they were being torn from the earth and reshaped, no matter what Ymir said. </p>
<p>I kept my mouth shut. </p>
<p>“Tomorrow, I plan for all of us to train together. I’ll be mindful of the injury in our physical practice,” Ymir said. He sighed, “I’ve had to change Ren’s combat role. The original plan was to have him with our ground troops, but now I’ll be taking Adram with me planet-side.”</p>
<p>I smirked, “Shit-detail, on my account?”</p>
<p>“He’s leading our TIE fighter squadrons. I’m not taking him out of the action entirely.”</p>
<p>I stood up to leave. </p>
<p>“I’m sure that you saw Rajendra’s ship in the yard,” Ymir said, fixing me with a heavy look. </p>
<p>I paused. </p>
<p>“Rajendra is leaving tomorrow,” Ymir said, “I have eyes and ears on this Base. If he makes an offer, I expect you to tell me about it.”</p>
<p>Ymir wasn’t going to outright tell me not to interact with Raj, but that was the message. Raj may have received a similar warning. </p>
<p>“I understand,” I said, “Besides, he was more boring than I thought he’d be.”</p>
<p>Raj acted aloof and worldly, but crumbled at the opportunity for sex, the same as any other man. </p>
<p>I left Ymir’s office, feeling his eyes on my back. </p>
<p>
  <b>III</b>
</p>
<p>When I entered my rooms, I found my green jacket with the fur collar folded neatly on top of my bed. I grinned when I saw it. I had been in such a rush to leave the Base, I hadn’t asked for it back. </p>
<p>Some officer had taken it upon themselves to make sure it got back to me. I folded the jacket into the chest of drawers, filled with thermals and training clothes. </p>
<p>I requested a medic droid up to my room. It decided to clean the wound, dealing with the scabs and blisters hiding beneath the black med tape. </p>
<p>I winced and ground my teeth together while the droid tended to me. </p>
<p>“How long until this is healed?” I asked, as a new layer of salve and bandaging was added. </p>
<p>“Two weeks, madam. The wound appears to be healing slower than the average rate.”</p>
<p>That’s what I got for not taking care of it properly. </p>
<p>“Same time tomorrow?” I said. </p>
<p>“Yes, madam.” the droid said before leaving. </p>
<p>Ren and Ymir had left for more training. I did not feel like joining them. </p>
<p>Instead, I hung around the rooms, digging through the reports on my tablet, thinking about the upcoming meeting with Boz. </p>
<p>I was worried about Ahobri. Maybe I should have stayed on Artrix for another day so the three of us could talk. I hadn’t heard from her in too long. </p>
<p>I decided to head back to Rosie. I shrugged on some layers. I’d check my comms for new messages and maybe start putting together a plan to make my ship air-worthy again. </p>
<p>On my way out of the Main building, I glanced at Raj’s yacht. It looked decadent and out of place in this rigid, icy, military compound. </p>
<p>I had fun with him. And his women. I didn’t want to cause fresh problems between myself and Ymir, but if Raj had an offer for me, I knew I’d be interested.</p>
<p>I folded my arms and set off to the hangar. </p>
<p>Hux and Phasma were standing together in the yard, watching the thousands of stormtroopers moving through their drills and exercises. </p>
<p>“Hey,” I greeted, walking over to them. </p>
<p>“Lin,” Phasma said. I took a spot on her left side. She stood a full head and shoulders taller than me, a little taller than Hux. In her chrome armor, she was even more intimidating.</p>
<p>Hux leaned my way, “Lin, I realized that I was just talking about The Finalizer and our missions,” he said, “I never asked you about your last assignment.”</p>
<p>“It was a good one, too,” I said with a wink and glanced up at Phasma, impervious in her helmet, “I was infiltrating the Uhdea family.”</p>
<p>They got an exciting story. I made up a version halfway between the truth and what I put in the report. Hux was a gossip magnet, and I’m sure something would make it back to Ymir or Ren. I told them about the Luther fight, the interruption with Black Sun, my contact securing a deal at the last moment, and partying with the Hutts afterwards. </p>
<p>Hux was hanging onto every word. </p>
<p>Phasma didn’t respond. She felt more standoffish today. </p>
<p>“So what’s the news on the base?” I asked, after I was done with my tale, “Basic is wrapping up soon, right?”</p>
<p>“In three weeks,” Phasma confirmed in her affected tone, “Then we have a week off before our next shipment of recruits arrive.”</p>
<p>She was going to be all business today. </p>
<p>“I noticed that your pilots are improving,” I said. </p>
<p>Outside, we could hear the screams of TIE fighter units practicing formations off in the distance. The heavy cloud cover made it impossible to see them from the Base. </p>
<p>“We have a number of promising candidates,” Phasma replied, “Unfortunately, many got their experience through local smuggling operations. They don’t know anything about combat or military flying.”</p>
<p>She sounded just like Ymir. </p>
<p>I was done catching up with Hux, and Phasma wasn’t making conversation. I decided to go.</p>
<p>“Well, I gotta go do some maintenance on my ship,” I said, breaking away from their group, “See you around.”</p>
<p>Phasma and I had been getting along so well. I wondered what had happened. </p>
<p>It could be nothing. She was military to her bones - sitting around and chit-chatting out on the yard didn’t seem to be her style, but I couldn’t help wondering if Hux had said something that changed her attitude. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>When I arrived, the hangar was busier than I had ever seen it. </p>
<p>TIE fighter arrays had been built in tiers that stretched from floor to ceiling. I guessed that this hangar housed a thousand units. </p>
<p>Ymir’s flashy ship was parked on the floor. So was Ren’s transport cruiser, its wings folded up in a wedge shape overhead. </p>
<p>Now that I wasn’t recovering from my controlled crash landing, I noticed that there were makeshift classrooms constructed on the floor - movable dividers created temporary rooms, filled with chairs and flat display screens. </p>
<p>I could hear lessons in progress and had a glimpse of soldiers in black piloting jumpsuits, their helmets neatly stowed beneath their chairs. </p>
<p>I remembered the tiny pilot I had met, Thess. She was so unusual, with the tattoos across her face and hands, her small frame, and poor grasp of Galactic Standard. I wondered if she was part of this group of pilots, or if she had been shipped out to one of the labor crews. </p>
<p>It was so similar to my old Resistance Base - but we were tucked away inside cave tunnels, taking our lessons in folding chairs with outdated screens and equipment, but the best the Resistance could muster. </p>
<p>On board Rosie, I didn’t have any new messages from Ahobri or Joll. </p>
<p>There was nothing to be done. I’d just have to trust that Ahobri was navigating the conversation with Jukhara. </p>
<p>I grabbed a beer from the cooling cabinet, turned up my music, and made a tour of the inside of my ship, removing panels and figuring out how extensive the electrical issue was. </p>
<p>Most of my fuses had blown on the last leg of the hyperspace trip. </p>
<p>I was going to need to replace more than half the wiring. The hyperdrive itself was also going to need some maintenance. </p>
<p>I set about gathering supplies, talking with human mechanics and droids, trying to get my hands on equipment that didn’t have First Order barcodes or anything else that might give me away. </p>
<p>For the first time, I began to think about buying a new ship, something that wouldn’t have all these problems. </p>
<p>I could keep using Rosie for business with the Smuggler’s Alliance, but I needed a better ship for my work with the Hutts. Maybe I’d rent one for the meeting with Boz.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>It was dark outside by the time I was done with Rosie. </p>
<p>I returned to the rooms, pulling my coat tightly around me as I strode across the yard. </p>
<p>I glanced at Raj’s yacht on my way to the main building. There were lights on at the top levels of the ship. I could imagine what they’d be up to. </p>
<p>When I got to the sitting room, I was met by Ymir, Adram, and Ren. They were having a drink together. </p>
<p>“Take a seat,” Ymir invited. He had his arm across Adram’s shoulders. </p>
<p>That was unexpected. </p>
<p>Ren and Adram both had their masks off. Ren was in his dark robes, with his high collar and cloak wrapped around his shoulders, gloves on his hands. </p>
<p>Adram didn’t look like a Knight. He was in dark robes - chocolate brown, not black. His tawny hair was loose around his shoulders, gently waving. He had a day’s worth of stubble across his high cheekbones. Last time, I hadn’t been able to get a good look at him. The man was incredibly handsome, with his defined features and green eyes. Him and Ymir were close together on the couch. The arm Ymir had around his shoulders looked more than friendly. </p>
<p>Ren sat on the opposite sofa, alone. </p>
<p>I took myself to the liquor cabinet and poured a drink. </p>
<p>“So, when are y’all shipping out to Ado?” I said, taking a seat in a chair, not interested in sitting next to Ren. </p>
<p>“Tomorrow, after training and our briefing,” Ymir replied, “What were you doing this afternoon?”</p>
<p>“Working on Rosie,” I said, taking a sip of my drink, “I ran into some electrical issues on the flight over.” </p>
<p>Adram had his eyes on me. His expression was neutral, but I could tell he wasn’t happy to have me join their group. </p>
<p>A pang of jealousy rolled through me, seeing Ymir with his large arm around Adram’s shoulders. The man was beautiful. It was easy to see why Ymir wanted him. </p>
<p>“Just get a new ship,” Ymir was saying, “You were doing maintenance on her the last time I saw you.”</p>
<p>“I think I just might cave,” I replied, relaxing in my seat, “But she’s the first ship I’ve ever owned. She has sentimental value.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know how you’ve flown her for so long,” Ren said, an eyebrow arching, “After our mission on Otomok, you’re never getting me back in that ship.”</p>
<p>“Tell me how you really feel,” I shot back.</p>
<p>“We were just discussing the Kyber caves here,” Ymir said, bringing the conversation back on track, “Adram and Kylo Ren travelled to Ilum with Luke Skywalker for lightsaber crystals.” </p>
<p>“It was such a different experience,” Adram said, looking up to Ymir as he spoke, “The energy of the crystals on Ilum is so… peaceful. My time in the caves here... I… I felt like I was having a vision, a hallucination.”</p>
<p>“Both you and Siobhan experienced that,” Ymir said. </p>
<p>Adram’s lips pressed together at the comparison. </p>
<p>“I had a completely different experience this last time. It wasn’t overwhelming,” I said, taking a sip of whiskey.</p>
<p>Ymir had center stage for the conversation. I was fine with taking a back seat. </p>
<p>We talked about the First Order, politics, previous missions that Ren and Adram had taken on. </p>
<p>I had a second drink. I wished Yuri was here. </p>
<p>Sometime after my glass was empty, Ren turned to me, “I wanted to talk with you. Would you take a walk with me?” </p>
<p>I still had my layers and boots on. My jacket was draped over the back of the chair. </p>
<p>“Yeah, sure,” I told him, rising to my feet. </p>
<p>My eyes swept along Adram, held close to Ymir. It was impossible not to imagine them having sex. I had spent time wondering what Ymir and Ekene got up to together. Now I was seeing Ymir with someone closer to my age. </p>
<p>Ren secured his mask around his face and led the way out of the sitting room. </p>
<p>I was glad to be leaving. </p>
<p>“So how long has that been going on, Ymir and Adram?” I asked, once we were inside the elevator. </p>
<p>Ren looked at me, impassive under layers of chrome and metal. </p>
<p>“How is that your business?” he asked. </p>
<p>I shrugged, ignoring the pain in my shoulder, “Just curious.”</p>
<p>Ren didn’t respond. </p>
<p>We left the elevator and walked onto the snowy yard, blindingly bright with the floodlights along the perimeter. </p>
<p>Ren set off for the forest, where we could get some privacy. </p>
<p>My breath puffed in front of me in the cold, still air. We took a slow pace through the trees, stepping over uneven rocks. </p>
<p>I thought about Ekene as we walked. I hadn’t heard from him in over a week. I was realizing what an important friend he had become. I was worried that him and Ymir were growing apart. </p>
<p>We walked in silence, picking our way into the forest. </p>
<p>“Adram told me he liked men when we were at the Academy,” Ren said, before removing his mask. “We must have been fourteen or fifteen at the time,” he continued in his unaffected voice, “Apparently, he had gone to Luke a couple of years earlier, and Luke had told him it was unnatural, that he was just confused. Luke told him that kind of desire was wrong.”</p>
<p>I tilted my head, surprised that Ren was opening up. </p>
<p>“I didn’t… I didn’t understand any of it. Luke taught emotional and physical celibacy, so I didn’t have experience, none of us did…” Ren trailed off, his mouth turning into a thoughtful frown. </p>
<p>For a minute, the only sound was our feet crunching through the snow. </p>
<p>That silence could mean a thousand things. I knew that Adram was completely devoted to Ren. Had he told him he loved him? Had it been more than that? What was the Academy like, with a bunch of teenagers - all supposedly celibate, without anyone to help explain sex and love? </p>
<p>“Adram felt alone for so many years. Then he met Lord Ymir and Ekene and I saw how he changed. There wasn’t someone saying that there was something wrong with him. He and Ymir… that wasn’t until later.”</p>
<p>“I was worried that you’d get angry with Troye, when we were at the Outpost,” I admitted, as we walked through the snow, “Troye’s had a lot of people try to hurt him, just for being the kind of person he is. I honestly didn’t expect you to be okay with it.”</p>
<p>Ren shook his head and frowned deeply, “I’m not like that.”</p>
<p>We walked through the forest, making a wide perimeter of the base. The sound of our boots keeping us company. Ren didn’t put his mask back on. </p>
<p>“I didn’t need to start a fight with you, on our way up the mountain,” Ren said, his voice stiff and uncomfortable. </p>
<p>“Did Ymir put you up to this?” I said, completely caught off guard. </p>
<p>Ren’s expression pulled in, brows knitting together, “Fuck, Siobhan,” he muttered, striding ahead. </p>
<p>“Hold up!” I said, hustling after him, “I just really wasn’t expecting to hear that.”</p>
<p>Ren was still frowning, “I’ve thought about it this past week,” he said, slowing his pace, “I put you in a bad situation when I started the match. I understand why you pushed so hard in the fight.”</p>
<p>This didn’t sound like Ren. This sounded like Yuri. </p>
<p>Yuri was good with people. I remembered our conversation before I left the Finalizer, how he was friendly and clear with his emotions. </p>
<p>“Did you really think I was going to let you kick my ass in front of your whole crew?” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. </p>
<p>“I wasn’t thinking about it that way,” Ren said. “You were kind to Adram when you didn’t have to be. He thought that you were going to take advantage of his weakness in the caves, but you helped him.”</p>
<p>Ren turned to me, a gloved hand running down my arm. </p>
<p>We were close to the barracks now. I could just make out the floodlight above the backdoor, where I had shared a smoke with Phasma, the night before the conscripts arrived. </p>
<p>Ren leaned in to kiss me. I thought we’d still be enemies, but he had actually put in some effort to make things right, for once. </p>
<p>We kissed, standing in snowdrifts, surrounded by dark trees. </p>
<p>Ren was greedy, hungry for my tongue. He gently steered me towards a tree trunk, my back pressed against the bark. He dropped his mask in the snow at our feet. </p>
<p>His hands slipped inside my jacket, squeezing my breasts through my layers of clothes. </p>
<p>We kissed in the woods for some time, until I was softly moaning, body responding to his touch. </p>
<p>Finally we broke apart and Ren put his mask over his face. He took my hand, and we walked towards the main building, trailing the border between the Base and the forest. </p>
<p>“Why are you so interested in our time at the Academy?” Ren asked, voice low through the audiofeed. </p>
<p>“When I was with the Resistance, they talked about that night. What they thought had happened,” I felt Ren’s hand get tight, a tremor in his fingers, “I wanted to hear it from you, from the people that were there.”</p>
<p>I was testing Ren, seeing if he’d get angry. </p>
<p>“The boy you saw me kill. His name was Binh,” Ren said, “I had never killed anyone before that night.” Ren’s tone was soft, a gravelly murmur through his mask. </p>
<p>I remembered the cold decisiveness as he stepped forward, pushing his lightsaber through the boy’s chest. </p>
<p>“I was sixteen the first time I killed someone,” I said, deciding to open up, “I didn’t know his name, he was a lookout for a rival gang. I shot him in the head.”</p>
<p>Our footsteps were in sync. </p>
<p>“What did you do afterwards?” I asked. </p>
<p>The main building and Raj’s yacht were up ahead. </p>
<p>“I had to keep going,” Ren said, “We took my ship and jumped to some faraway sector. I had to reach Lord Ymir through the Force. I had never met him. I didn’t know what was going to happen to us.”</p>
<p>I squeezed Ren’s hand. </p>
<p>We walked into the main building together. Ren pulled off his mask and we kissed on the elevator ride to our floor. </p>
<p>In our rooms, Ymir and Adram were nowhere to be seen. </p>
<p>Ren pulled me into his bedroom. </p>
<p>We kept the lights on. Ren saw the faded bruises he had left behind, almost healed by now. He saw the medtape across my upper arm and shoulder. </p>
<p>As Ren undressed, I saw the patch of med tape on his upper thigh, beneath his hip. </p>
<p>We’d both have scars. </p>
<p>I had marked Ymir and Ren. And they had both marked me. </p>
<p>The sex was easy, simple. </p>
<p>Our movements were gentle. </p>
<p>Ren held me in his arms, kissing along my neck, his tongue circling the barbells in my nipples. He took his mouth lower, his tongue teasing at my clit, sliding between my lips. </p>
<p>He curled his fingers inside, making me gasp and moan. He found a rhythm that made my hips buck and legs tremble. As he pushed me over the edge, I wrapped my fingers through his hair, crying his name out. </p>
<p>Afterwards, I knelt between his legs as he sat on the edge of the bed. I tasted his pre-cum, salty at the back of my throat. </p>
<p>Our last session had been so rough - Ren had been trying to control me then, to claim me for himself. It hadn’t been about pleasure. </p>
<p>I took my time, running my tongue across his cock, putting pressure on his head, squeezing him with my hand, working him up slowly. </p>
<p>Under this attention, Ren relaxed, shoulders sloping, a hand resting on his thigh, occasionally brushing my cheek or winding through my long hair. I heard his low moans above me. I felt his cock throb in my mouth. </p>
<p>Eventually, I began to move more quickly, add more pressure with my hand and my tongue. Ren was thrusting upwards, pressing through my lips, groaning as he found the back of my throat. </p>
<p>“I want to come inside you,” he said, his voice strained with need. </p>
<p>His hand was at my cheek, guiding me up. </p>
<p>I climbed on top of him. He slid easily inside me. </p>
<p>“Am I hurting… your leg?” I asked as he cried out, arms wrapping around me. I could feel the patch of medtape against my thigh. </p>
<p>“No… you… feel amazing,” he grunted, a hand moving to my ass, the other holding the back of my head. </p>
<p>I bounced in his lap, moaning as he filled me. </p>
<p>It wasn’t long until he came with a long cry of pleasure. I could feel the warmth and wetness, his cock pulsing inside of me. </p>
<p>Afterwards, Ren turned off the lights and pulled me close to him. </p>
<p>Our injuries were mirrored. We weren’t able to spoon for long, one of us would have to be laying on a wounded side. </p>
<p>We rolled onto our backs and Ren took my hand. </p>
<p>We drifted off into an easy, peaceful sleep.</p>
<p>
  <b>IV</b>
</p>
<p>The next day was a whirlwind of activity. </p>
<p>An alarm went off on the console, hours before sunrise. </p>
<p>I pulled on my clothes from Ren’s floor while he climbed into loose training clothes. He was still covered from head to toe in black. </p>
<p>We emerged together. </p>
<p>Adram and Ymir were at the table drinking caffeine. There were two mugs for me and Ren. </p>
<p>Ren and Adram were awkward and stilted. It was obvious they had never been in this situation before.</p>
<p>Adram maintained an aloof and distant attitude towards me. I was sharing Ren’s bed while he had the attention of the head of the First Order. I imagined that he felt proud of himself. </p>
<p>I wasn’t usually jealous. I shut those thoughts down and drank my caffeine.</p>
<p>Ymir began talking about the day, our training schedule, the meetings and briefings. </p>
<p>I didn’t pay attention; I’d be with this group all day - they’d make sure I’d get where I needed to go. </p>
<p>I drank my caffeine and wiped grit from my eyes. </p>
<p>We took the elevator down together. </p>
<p>The remaining three Knights were assembled in the yard. They were dressed in their black training clothes, weapons slung around their shoulders or hooked to their belts. </p>
<p>I walked up to Yuri. He wore his mask, but there was no mistaking the giant cleaver-sword slung around his back. </p>
<p>“Fancy meeting you here,” I said with a grin and a yawn. </p>
<p>“Another day in paradise,” Yuri replied. </p>
<p>Spoken like a soldier. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Training was brutal. </p>
<p>I had spent the past week sitting around, having meetings, and travelling on my ship. My muscles cramped and complained as we ran. </p>
<p>I was at the back of the pack the entire time, panting and wheezing in the cold air. </p>
<p>We started our work before the rest of the Base was awake. An hour in, we began hearing the shouts of drill sergeants and armored feet across the snowy concrete. </p>
<p>Our group took up a large square of the yard for physical drills and routines. The rest of the soldiers gave us space to train. </p>
<p>Wisely, Ymir only had me working with him and Yuri for sparring practice. We all had regular weapons to work with. </p>
<p>I was given a short metal staff. </p>
<p>My right shoulder didn’t have much stamina. I could feel the blisters underneath the med tape, the skin growing tender as I used my right arm. </p>
<p>It was only a couple of minutes before I gave up and put the weapon in my left hand. Training with a two-handed technique had made that side stronger and more coordinated, but it still felt strange to only use my left arm. </p>
<p>I noticed Ren taking more breaks than usual, sometimes sitting with his leg elevated on an empty supply crate. He moved through our little groups, providing critiques and instruction for his Knights while he rested his injured leg. </p>
<p>He hadn’t seemed that injured for our walk through the woods. Now I understood why Ymir was keeping him away from the front lines. </p>
<p>Yuri didn’t give me a hard time during sparring practice. He also used a staff instead of his usual weapon. The massive sword rested on top of a supply crate. </p>
<p>He was a thick and muscular guy, but somehow he moved quickly and gracefully. He must be a nightmare on the battlefield. </p>
<p>I had seen how easily he wielded that massive sword of his, making short work of two opponents.</p>
<p>“Did you… talk with Ren?” I asked as we practiced a drill - memorized motions, happening in sequence. </p>
<p>“I might have,” Yuri said, blocking one of my swings with an easy movement of his arm. </p>
<p>His mask was on. I couldn’t see his expression. </p>
<p>“He fucking apologized,” I said, keeping my voice down, “He couldn’t bring himself… to say sorry… but he admitted… he was wrong.”</p>
<p>“I told him… that you’d listen… if he did that,” Yuri said. </p>
<p>“Do you… think I’m… that soft?” I said with a grin, launching into a new volley of attacks. </p>
<p>“Your secret… is safe with me.”</p>
<p>After training we would have a break for lunch, then I had a briefing scheduled with Ymir and Ren. The Knights would be preparing to return to The Finalizer, then they’d be off to the Ado sector. </p>
<p>I gave Yuri a hug and wished him luck before we parted ways. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Before lunch, a medic droid was brought up to look after Ren and I. </p>
<p>I winced and grimaced my way through the ‘bot cleaning my wound and applying a fresh bandage. </p>
<p>We ate our meal. Ren and Ymir carried the conversation, strategizing about the upcoming battle. </p>
<p>After our plates were cleared by a service droid, Hux was brought in. I took center stage. </p>
<p>The briefing was tedious. With all their political experience, I thought it would be easy for them to understand that it would be a delicate process to claim the territory I was freeing up. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, they thought the Outer Rim was just a collection of farmers and criminals, and they couldn’t understand why we needed to be patient and careful. </p>
<p>I suggested a plan where, at the end of a cycle, we would slowly start having First Order ships do flythroughs in the area. The pilots would keep their comms on, making idle chatter about far-flung shit detail. </p>
<p>We’d see how each sector reacted. Some wouldn’t go on the alert, others might try to immediately shoot down any First Order ships that they found. We’d have to approach each sector with a different plan. </p>
<p>Hux was impatient. It was clear he wanted to see some combat, one way or another. </p>
<p>“If you want to go to war in every single sector, and catch the attention of the New Republic while you’re at it, then you’re welcome to go barging in,” I said, as Hux questioned me one-too-many times.</p>
<p>He balked. I don’t think he had seen me get angry before. </p>
<p>Ymir stepped in, “Lin, it seems we’re having a difference of strategy,” he said diplomatically, “Due to the frequency of activity along our supply routes, I think we’ll have to sacrifice stealth for time.”</p>
<p>“Sure thing,” I said, bristling, “It just depends on the result you want.”</p>
<p>“Lin,” Ymir cautioned. </p>
<p>Hux looked my way, spots of color in his cheeks. </p>
<p>“You should put together what you think is an ideal plan. Present it to me after the next leg of your mission. After that, we can sit back down as a group and create an official strategy.”</p>
<p>“Yeah…,” I began. </p>
<p>Ymir gave me a very pointed look. </p>
<p>“Yes, Lord Ymir,” I finished, jaw tightening. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>After the meeting, Ymir, Ren, and Hux were ready to return to the Finalizer. </p>
<p>I needed to work on Rosie, so I walked with them to the hangar. Phasma was out in the yard, and joined our group to see the leadership off. </p>
<p>The hangar was alive with activity. Every sectioned-off classroom was filled with soldiers, and the instructors’ voices echoed in the large space. All the TIE fighters were in their neat arrays, a thousand units in tiered rows. </p>
<p>Before he boarded his ship, Ren pulled me close to him. Hux and Phasma both noticed. His mask was on, and he wasn’t going to take it off to kiss me, not in front of everyone. He gave me a squeeze and left it at that. </p>
<p>I felt Phasma’s attention on me. </p>
<p>Ymir climbed into his sleek cruiser and Hux boarded Ren’s ship. </p>
<p>They neatly lifted up and sailed out of the hangar. </p>
<p>Phasma left without saying a word to me. Her standoffishness felt more real now. I didn’t know when things had changed. I had a nagging feeling that Hux and his big mouth were to blame. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I had the Base to myself. </p>
<p>Kind of. </p>
<p>I entered Rosie, grabbing a beer and checking my comms before I got to work. </p>
<p>Joll and Ahobri had replied to me. </p>
<p>I checked Ahobri’s message first: [I’m fine. Joll met me at The Outpost to talk about Boz. Jukhara is upset, but we had a conversation. Our meeting is in three days. Joll will be contacting you.]</p>
<p>I needed to do a sit-down with Jukhara when I got back to Artrix. I needed to know if I could salvage our relationship. </p>
<p>Joll’s message was much more encouraging: [Boz will meet with you in three days. Contact me to confirm the meeting and location.]</p>
<p>I called Joll right away. </p>
<p>His wide Hutt face took up most of the console screen. </p>
<p>“Mara, did you just get my message?” he asked. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I’ve been out on other jobs,” I said, “I’m looking forward to the meeting. Thanks for hooking me up.”</p>
<p>“Jukhara seemed surprised to find out about the plan, and she knows everything.”</p>
<p>There Joll was, digging for information.</p>
<p>“Jukhara is Ahobri’s boss, right?” I asked, scratching my cheek. </p>
<p>“Yes,” Joll answered, “She keeps a tight watch over her crew. I didn’t think you were going into business with Ahobri on your own.”</p>
<p>“We know each other from town,” I said, sounding bored, “I’ll swing by Artrix for Ahobri, then we’ll meet you on Zeltros.”</p>
<p>“Call me when you arrive,” Joll said and ended the call. </p>
<p>I tried to reach Ahobri, but she didn’t answer. I typed up a message: [I’ll be there in two days. Call me if you can. I’ll meet with Jukhara when I get there.]</p>
<p>Things were picking up. </p>
<p>Tynne was doing my work for me, calling together the Smuggler’s Alliance for a council meeting. </p>
<p>I finished my beer, then went into my quarters to do a small bump of Blue. There wasn’t too much left in the baggie. </p>
<p>I turned up my music, lowered the ramp in the cargo bay, and got to work. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Fixing the electrical problem was a two-person job. </p>
<p>I found myself relying on the Force to hold up my shop light, and to keep wires and my ship’s innards out of my way. </p>
<p>I needed to leave the Base by tomorrow at the latest. It would be twelve hours in hyperspace before I could get to Artrix, then I’d have the meeting with Boz. </p>
<p>I sank myself into my work, stripping down to my undershirt and utility pants, my body was covered in grease and grime from my ship. </p>
<p>My concentration was so deep that I didn’t notice someone entering my ship. </p>
<p>“I hope you don’t mind, I let myself aboard.”</p>
<p>It was Raj. He had to project his voice for me to hear him. I was on top of a ladder, buried to the waist inside my ship, working on the wiring near the hyperdrive. </p>
<p>My music still filled the halls as I stepped down. </p>
<p>Raj could not look more out of place on my ship. </p>
<p>He was a gorgeous man, with white hair swept back from his face, short on the sides. He had tan skin and a lithe athletic frame - so different from Ymir, from Ren, from the Knights. </p>
<p>“What are you doing here?” I said with a grin, pulling a rag out of my back pocket and beginning to clean my hands. </p>
<p>“Don’t bother,” Raj said with a wave “My suit is ruined just looking at you.”</p>
<p>I laughed and tucked the rag back into my pocket. </p>
<p>“Is this a punishment?” Raj continued, looking around my dingy cargo bay, “Ymir has you working on broken ships?”</p>
<p>“This bird’s all mine,” I said with a grin, “Her name’s Rosie.”</p>
<p>Raj made a disbelieving frown, shaking his head. </p>
<p>I stood across from him, hands on my hips. Raj wasn’t here to shoot the breeze. Him and Snoke wanted to know if they could use me in their plot against Ymir. </p>
<p>It wasn’t an accident that I was seeing him after Ymir, Ren, and Hux had left. </p>
<p>“Certainly you can afford a better ship than this,” Raj said. </p>
<p>“What’s your business, Raj?” I said. I had work to do. I wasn’t going to let him waste my time. </p>
<p>“Well, I wanted to see how you were doing. We parted so… abruptly... last time,” Raj said, and I noticed how his eyes flickered to the medtape on my shoulder. </p>
<p>I had gone to his ship to fuck him. Then, by the time I returned from my embarrassing meltdown in the Kyber caves, Raj was long gone. </p>
<p>“That’s fine, Ymir and Ren scare most people,” I said with a testy smile. </p>
<p>Raj pursed his lips in irritation, “The Superior General told me that you attacked Lord Ymir during training. And that you lost.”</p>
<p>If I jabbed at him, he was ready to jab back at me. </p>
<p>“I did, and he kicked my ass,” I said easily, not dropping my cool for a moment, “But look at me, still moving along. Did Snoke tell you about my new assignment?”</p>
<p>“He did,” Raj said, “You’re taking over the criminal underworld for the First Order.”</p>
<p>I barked a laugh. It wasn’t all that. Not yet, anyways. </p>
<p>“So what do you want, Raj? I don’t have all day.”</p>
<p>“You’re so cold,” Raj said with a thin little pout, “I rather enjoyed our night together. I thought you felt the same.”</p>
<p>“I know Ymir asked you to keep away from me,” I said, “He’s watching me for any proof I’m stepping out of line again.”</p>
<p>Raj crossed his arms over his chest, “He did,” Raj paused, “I think he sees the same power that the Superior General and I do.”</p>
<p>This was blatant flattery, but I understood his meaning. Ymir felt that I was a true threat to him - that’s why Raj and Snoke were interested. </p>
<p>“When I sold my company to the First Order, I became directly invested in the success of this organization,” Raj continued, “I’m going to arrange a meeting, and the Superior General will make sure it goes through. I simply need to know if you’re interested.”</p>
<p>“I am,” I said without hesitation.</p>
<p>“Good, that’s all I needed to know,” Raj said. </p>
<p>Now he offered his hand to me. We shook, engine grease and all. </p>
<p>I stayed in my cargo bay, watching Raj as he walked down the ramp. His fancy hair, fancy suit, and graceful walk were so incredibly out of place. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I tried to return to work on my ship, but now I was distracted, my thoughts tumbling between so many different possibilities. </p>
<p>On the one hand, Ymir had shown me mercy, and brought me in. I liked this assignment. I’d be able to bring Ahobri with me. I could do what I was good at. </p>
<p>But wasn’t killing Ymir my plan? My true plan?</p>
<p>When Ahobri asked, I had told her yes, but I was still scared. If Snoke and Raj were planning to have me move on this, I’d wind up dead. No question about it. </p>
<p>Buried inside the ceiling panel, I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. </p>
<p>I pulled myself out of the project and grabbed another beer from the case. I left Rosie, flopping down on a nearby supply crate. </p>
<p>The soldiers were leaving their makeshift classrooms. I heard the sound of hundreds of boots slapping against the concrete floors. </p>
<p>I glanced up, watching them move in neat rows. </p>
<p>Then I spotted her. </p>
<p>The tiny soldier from the woods. She was head and shoulders shorter than anyone else. Her black fatigues were rolled up at the ankles and the wrists. Her face was covered by a black pilot’s helmet. </p>
<p>“Hey! Thess! I called out. </p>
<p>Her head whipped towards me and I watched a unit commander react to my call. </p>
<p>Thess stopped in her tracks. Several soldiers in the line stumbled over her. </p>
<p>I got up from my crate to see if I could smooth out the chaos. </p>
<p>I looked like a civilian mechanic, covered in grease, wearing an undershirt and utility pants, a beer in my hand. </p>
<p>The only status marker I had were the lightsabers on my belt. </p>
<p>The commander halted his unit, “Um… yes… Madam, Madam Siniang,” he said. </p>
<p>“That pilot, you got, Thess. I want her for a minute,” I said. </p>
<p>Thess looked my way, hunched from the collision, looking comical in the large helmet and baggy fatigues. </p>
<p>“Yes, Madam,” the commander responded with a salute, directing Thess to join me.</p>
<p>“Carry on,” I said, “I’ll send her back when I’m done.”</p>
<p>I motioned for Thess to follow me back to Rosie. </p>
<p>“You can take that helmet off,” I told her. “I have a favor to ask.”</p>
<p>“What?” Thess asked after her helmet was off, jogging after me.  </p>
<p>I walked to the ramp to my cargo bay, “Do you know how to fix ships, or just fly them?” I asked with a grin. </p>
<p>“How can fly, but not fix?” Thess replied, in her faint burbling voice. </p>
<p>I was curious about what her native language sounded like. </p>
<p>“All right,” I replied, “I need an extra pair of hands. I blew some fuses on the flight over, and it turns out Rosie’s wiring is all shit.”</p>
<p>“This ship is junk,” Thess observed, following me up the ramp. </p>
<p>“Yeah,” I agreed, “But she’s my junk, and I need her for my next job.”</p>
<p>I pulled a beer from the cooling cabinet and tossed it to Thess, “Let’s get to work.”</p>
<p>
  <b>V</b>
</p>
<p>I loved working with Thess. </p>
<p>She enjoyed my music, asking me to turn up the sound while we tore out and replaced bad wiring. </p>
<p>When I had met her, I had been distracted by her nervous twitchy mannerisms. But once she got started on a task, all of that smoothed out. She was focused and self-assured. </p>
<p>She was a damn fine mechanic, too. She understood machines. I didn’t have to explain things to her or keep an eye out to prevent mistakes. </p>
<p>We talked while we worked, digging inside the hallways panels, pulling out bad wiring and splicing in replacements. I kept the beer flowing for us. It felt like home. I remembered that Thess said she was a smuggler with a small outfit on Fedje. She understood. She knew what it was like to be part of a crew.</p>
<p>“You were fine after I dropped you off?” I asked, wanting to know if anyone had hassled her. </p>
<p>“Yah, officer just take to drills,” she replied. </p>
<p>We were right next to each other, working on the same line of wire. </p>
<p>“How do you like it here?” I asked. </p>
<p>“Fine,” Thess replied, “After basic, sending money for family.”</p>
<p>I tried not to let her see my frown. Her first assignment would be the front lines. </p>
<p>I thought about Hux, wanting to aggressively push into the sectors. The First Order wasn’t worried about casualties. </p>
<p>“Did your family get your signing bonus?” I asked with a knowing wink. </p>
<p>“Yah. Mom’s sick. Give uncle money,” Thess replied. </p>
<p>Thess wasn’t the only one trying to give her family a chance. There were plenty of other soldiers with the same story. I thought about my mother and brother. The family I abandoned. </p>
<p>“How about those tattoos?” I asked, “Where’d they come from?”</p>
<p>“It’s... family. Ithan people have tattoos,” Thess answered. </p>
<p>There was more to it, but Thess didn’t have the words. </p>
<p>A part of me was tempted to <i>reach</i> towards her and better understand what she meant, but I didn’t want to scare her. </p>
<p>“You have tattoos. Why?” Thess asked, turning the tables on me. </p>
<p>She looked at my left arm, the mess of hatch marks and scars.</p>
<p>“Do you remember who I said I was? Out in the woods?”</p>
<p>Thess’ expression drew in, and, after a moment, she shook her head, “No. No remember.”</p>
<p>“That’s fine,” I said, putting a friendly hand on her shoulder. </p>
<p>We stopped working. I pulled myself out of the wall panel, taking a seat on the floor to rest. </p>
<p>Thess took a seat across from me, legs splayed out. She had the arms of her jumpsuit tied around her waist. She was so small, it made her strange yellow-ish eyes look even bigger. </p>
<p>“My name is Siobhan Zhang,” I told her, speaking up and speaking slowly so she could hear me over the music, “I’m a Sith. Like Kylo Ren. Like Ymir.”</p>
<p>Thess’ eyes locked on me. She took a long drink of her beer, then another. </p>
<p>“I gave myself the tattoos, as a part of training.”</p>
<p>I liked this girl. I wanted to take her with me. So I decided to open up and see how she responded. </p>
<p>She was silent for many moments, sizing me up, “Not like Kylo Ren,” she finally said. </p>
<p>I almost spat my beer out of my mouth. I coughed and spluttered, starting to laugh. </p>
<p>Thess did not join me, “He’s scary,” she said, defensively. </p>
<p>My belly was shaking with laughter. It was the funniest thing anyone had said to me all week. </p>
<p>“He’s not as scary as he looks,” I finally said, wiping a tear from my eye. </p>
<p>Thess didn’t believe me, but she didn’t argue. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>We worked together for hours, drinking beer and getting to know one another. </p>
<p>Slowly, but surely, the job came together. </p>
<p>We ran the systems checks from the cockpit until we had proof that we were done. </p>
<p>I was not going to be blowing more fuses anytime soon. </p>
<p>By this time, I had a solid buzz going. I was feeling loose and confident. A part of me wanted to just take Thess along with me, but I wasn’t sure what I would do with her and Ahobri, at this big meeting with Boz. </p>
<p>Besides, I should probably ask her first. </p>
<p>We were seated in the cockpit, fresh beers in hand. </p>
<p>“I want to pay you for your help today,” I told her, “Is there a way to keep money safe, or is someone going to steal it?”</p>
<p>“Steal it,” Thess replied with a frown. </p>
<p>“Okay, I get that,” I told her, “I want to give you three hundred credits.”</p>
<p>It would be more money than she had ever made in her life, and it was a fair price for her work. </p>
<p>Thess’ eyes widened in shock. </p>
<p>“So, that leads me to my next question,” I continued, “I need a pilot for my assignment. Would you be interested in coming to work for me?”</p>
<p>Thess continued staring at me blankly. I wasn’t sure if she understood. </p>
<p>“I’d pay you of course, cash in hand,” I said, “Good money.”</p>
<p>“Flying junk ship?” Thess asked, looking around my dirty cockpit. </p>
<p>I cracked a smile, “Either this one or the next ship I buy.”</p>
<p>Thess paused again in serious thought. She did not hide her expressions at all. </p>
<p>“If maybe I don’t want, yah?” </p>
<p>It took me a moment to realize what she was asking- she wanted to know how I’d react if she said no. </p>
<p>“It’s okay if you say no. I would find someone else,” I said calmly, “I really liked working with you, though.”</p>
<p>Thess smiled at me. The first real smile I had seen. I saw a dimple in her cheek, bending the lines etched into her skin. </p>
<p>I stood up and stretched, “Let’s go outside. We’ve been cramped in here too long.”</p>
<p>When we returned to the cargo bay, I saw that night had fallen. Snow was gently drifting down into the yard. </p>
<p>We stood, drinking our beers, enjoying the rare moment of peace and quiet. We returned to the supply crates, sprawling out while we finished our drinks. </p>
<p>“It’s real late. I shouldn’t keep you up,” I said. </p>
<p>Just then, we both heard the sound of armored feet on the concrete floors. </p>
<p>I spotted a flash of chrome. </p>
<p>Thess startled to her feet, picking up the helmet she had left outside the whole afternoon. </p>
<p>“Stay calm. Nothing bad will happen,” I told her, reaching an arm out to stop her from bolting. </p>
<p>Thess spun around to me, panic in her eyes, “Want the job,” she whispered, low and urgent. </p>
<p>“What are you doing?” Phasma asked, approaching us. </p>
<p>I could hear the anger in her voice. </p>
<p>I slowly rose to my feet, beer in hand, the other resting on my hip. </p>
<p>“You forget yourself, Captain,” I said keeping my tone easy, but giving her a warning stare. </p>
<p>Phasma realized she had overstepped. I watched as she stiffened and turned towards Thess, pretending that she was addressing the soldier, standing half her size. </p>
<p>“Our soldiers aren’t allowed to drink, or have their helmets removed when they are on duty,” Phasma said, pulling up close. </p>
<p>Thess was frozen in place. </p>
<p>“I believe I’m authorized to give a soldier permission to remove her helmet and have a beer. She just spent the afternoon helping me fix my ship,” I said, not budging a centimeter. </p>
<p>Phasma deferred, “Drills start in four hours,” she said. </p>
<p>Fuck. Was it really that late?</p>
<p>“Then I think this soldier should get her beauty rest,” I said, giving Thess a calm nod to dismiss her, “I’ll be back for you in a few days. Nothing’s going to happen.”</p>
<p>She picked up her helmet and ran from the hangar. I noticed that she still had the beer clutched in her hand. </p>
<p>Phasma watched her with disgust. </p>
<p>“I don’t want anything happening to that soldier,” I said, taking a step towards Phasma. She was bigger and stronger than me. </p>
<p>Phasma’s anger was bubbling underneath her fancy chrome uniform. Right now, she reminded me of Ren.</p>
<p>I was half-dressed, still holding my beer. My lightsabers were within reach on my belt, but I wouldn’t be the one to start the fight. </p>
<p>“We are doing very specific training with our soldiers. We can’t have them breaking the rules, just because you wanted some help on your ship,” Phasma said. </p>
<p>That was not the answer I wanted. </p>
<p>“Phasma, I’m coming back for that soldier. I want her as my personal pilot,” I said, slowly and clearly, “So I need your word that nothing is going to happen to that girl while I’m away.”</p>
<p>We stood in a very tense silence. </p>
<p>I waited. Phasma was a soldier. She followed rank. I served as Ymir’s right hand. She didn’t have an option. </p>
<p>“You have my word,” Phasma finally said. </p>
<p>She remained planted where she was. </p>
<p>“Do you have a fucking problem?” I demanded, taking another step towards her. </p>
<p>She wanted to fight. She was trying to goad me in to starting something. </p>
<p>Phasma pulled off her helmet. </p>
<p>Her face was flushed with anger. Blonde hair was plastered to her head with sweat. “Are you drunk right now?” she sneered. </p>
<p>“Yeah, what’s it to you?” I said with a rude grin, crossing my arms.  </p>
<p>“This is a military base! You are currently the highest ranking officer on the entire planet!” she hissed, clearly wanting to shout at me. </p>
<p>“Excuse me,” I replied, “Would you ever talk to Ren like this?”</p>
<p>Phasma’s pale blue eyes bulged with anger. I watched a vein pumping in her temple. She leaned in close to me. I was suddenly reminded of my old drill sergeant. </p>
<p>“I’ve seen you. I’ve seen the way men hang around you,” she sneered. </p>
<p>It was exactly what I thought. I gave her a mean little smirk. </p>
<p>“Are you jealous?” I asked. </p>
<p>Phasma could barely contain her rage. She stood in front of me, red faced, shoulders rising with her rapid breath. </p>
<p>I enjoyed it. “We can take this out to the yard if you want to,” I said easily, “If you think I slept my way into this position.”</p>
<p>Her eyes darted to the lightsabers at my belt. She couldn’t help it. </p>
<p>Phasma stood down. </p>
<p>She couldn’t bring herself to do it, as much as she wanted to. </p>
<p>“You’re behaving disgracefully,” she snarled, “You don’t act like a soldier.”</p>
<p>It was one last attempt to trick me into making the first move. But, I didn’t have Ren’s temper. </p>
<p>However, I was drunk. I felt the need to win the argument, “Phasma, I’m going to give you some advice,” I said, lips curling. </p>
<p>She bristled, standing stock still, not trusting herself to move or speak. </p>
<p>“I’ve met a lot of women like you,” I continued, “You’re good. You’re the best soldier on this planet. You play by the rules, and you do more than what’s asked of you…”</p>
<p>I was drunk, letting myself go on a tear, letting the sentences flow. </p>
<p>I thought about our conversation, from the night before Basic. We were both nobodies from the Outer Rim. Neither one of us should have ever gotten this far. Phasma had had to fight tooth and nail to get to this position, then she saw me and looked down on me for fucking these men. She felt that she had earned her place, while I wasn’t capable of having power of my own. </p>
<p>“But those men out there…” I gestured beyond the hangar, “Those men are never going to let you make it. It doesn’t matter what you do. It’s their game, so they are just going to keep moving the finish line. They are never going to let you win.”</p>
<p>Phasma’s anger was surging again. It was the truth and she knew it. Ymir might be helping her through the ranks, but she would never make it to Hux’s level, a position he acquired through his family name. </p>
<p>“So you know what I do?” I spat, “I don’t play their fucking game. I make them play mine.”</p>
<p>I stared up at her. Phasma didn’t move. She wanted to hit me. </p>
<p>I muscled up, getting in close, “You will never talk down to me again,” I said. I had to look up at her, but that didn’t bother me, “I’m going to come back for that pilot, and I’m going to ask her if anything happened while I was away. So keep your fucking hands off her. You’re dismissed.”</p>
<p>With stiff, halting movements, Phasma turned away from me, securing her helmet over her face as she stalked out of the hangar. </p>
<p>I watched her go, wondering what she was going to take her rage out on. </p>
<p>I returned to my ship. I had the sense that this argument wasn’t going to make it back to Ymir. Phasma had too much to lose, and it would be my word against hers. </p>
<p>It was too bad - I had wanted to be friends with her. </p>
<p>I closed the ramp behind me and walked to the cockpit, my feet heavy on the metal floors. </p>
<p>It was time to return to Artrix.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Whew! So I thought outlining would help me keep the chapters a more manageable length, but it looks like that’s not the case. </p>
<p>I’m so excited to be delving into all these different plots and interactions, but it’s a lot...So, for everyone following these longer updates, y'all are amazing!</p>
<p>As always, thanks so much for reading this story. I love to hear your thoughts in the comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. One Step Ahead- Just Out of Reach</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kylo Ren and his Knights are away on a mission to reclaim the Ado sector for the First Order. </p><p>Siobhan, having made an enemy in Captain Phasma over her drunken, disruptive behavior on the Base, is now anxiously waiting to see if her friend, Ahobri, will agree to leave the brothel and join her.</p><p>On the horizon is her meeting with the head of the Uhdea crime family, working to bring them under First Order control.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’m posting regularly to <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/andromeda-rising-897">Tumblr</a>, so check me out over there! I’m also on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/andromeda.rising/"> Instagram</a>.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>I</b>
</p><p>My blood was boiling. </p><p>The fight with Phasma left my heart pounding and my jaw clenched. </p><p>I sat in my cockpit, staring out the windows at blue nothingness, trying to reign my emotions back in. </p><p>Starkiller Base was getting farther away by the second. I wasn’t going to have First Order leadership breathing down my neck - Ren, Hux, Raj, and Ymir all trying to pull me in different directions. </p><p>Hux. </p><p>I needed to have a word with that little gossip. Phasma and I had been on good terms until this last visit. I was going to sit his ass down and give him a good scare. I smiled at the thought of roughing him up, maybe choking him a little bit. Making sure he understood that he couldn’t fuck with me. </p><p>There was a chance that it wasn’t him. Phasma had been there when Ren pulled me to him for a goodbye. She saw the way Hux showered me with attention. She might have seen Raj enter my ship. </p><p>Still, I had a sneaking suspicion that Hux had poisoned the well, making up whatever stories he wanted about my sex life. </p><p>There were women like Phasma in most of the big crews I had worked with - extremely strong and capable, they kept their legs crossed and played by the rules. Women like that always hated me. </p><p>Alcohol swirled in my mind, making my thoughts fuzzy. </p><p>I sat in my cockpit and made an effort to slow my breathing. I stopped chasing those thoughts.<br/>
Phasma took her anger and frustration out on me, and I stood my ground. That’s all there was to it. </p><p>When I was feeling calmer, I returned to my bunk to lay down, trying to settle myself with a few hours of sleep. </p><p>***</p><p>I dreamed about the Kyber caves. </p><p>Crystals rose in jagged formations, pressing close around me. </p><p>Beyond this glittering cage, there was a sound like rain, but my skin was dry. </p><p>I explored this strange place, slipping between huge columns of red crystals. I felt the smooth facets of stone, and sharp points against my legs and arms as I tried to move through the narrow space.<br/>
Eventually, I came across an opening, just enough room to make out the cavern beyond.<br/>
I saw blood dripping between the ceiling and the floor. Fat red droplets travelled between the crystal towers, thick and slow as honey. </p><p>As I walked, I noticed that they weren’t all moving in one direction; some were following a path upwards, in defiance of gravity. I stared into the cavern, taking in the horrific sight. </p><p>I pulled myself away, trying to find a path out of this claustrophobic maze. I was hemmed in by red crystals on every side - a prison. </p><p>A chorus was rising in my ears - sounds of terror and pain rattled my bones. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> for the Darkside. </p><p>I could feel the powerful void, inside of me, surrounding me. I opened my heart, offering the reflection of my fear and doubt.</p><p>“You can have this!” I shouted, my voice echoing in the narrow space. </p><p>This time, I received an answer.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Their pain is not yours to give.</p>
</blockquote><p>The voice was legion - a rumble, a growl that existed beyond words. It filled my senses, overwhelming me. </p><p>My eyes flew open and I found myself in my bunk. </p><p>My heartbeat thundered in my chest, beating against my ribs. </p><p>I felt sick. </p><p>I scrambled to the water closet, braced an arm against the wall, and leaned over the bowl. </p><p>Waves of hot and cold washed over me, making the hair on my arms stand up. I was dizzy. </p><p>I didn’t vomit.</p><p>As I stood in the little metal box, catching my breath, feeling my heart slow, as my panic subsided.</p><p>Slowly, I returned to myself. </p><p>When I was convinced I wasn’t going to throw up, I spat into the toilet, a sour taste on the back of my tongue. </p><p>Bad dreams. </p><p>I walked through the halls in a daze, arriving at the kitchen. I made myself caffeine, noticing the tremble in my fingers. </p><p>I knelt on the floor of my cargo bay and <i>reached</i> for the Darkside. </p><p>It felt like I was falling, but I was suspended in place above the swirling black chasm.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>What does it mean!</p>
</blockquote><p>I demanded. </p><p>Ymir had said my vision in the cave was an illusion. He said that the Kyber crystals were just reflecting the doubt and pain in my heart. </p><p>There was no response. The darkness made its seething, hungry sounds, the same as always.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>You can’t just talk to me in dreams! Answer me!</p>
</blockquote><p>A wave of sensation <i>pushed</i></p><p>at me. It was enormous, beyond words. It was like standing at the edge of a cliff, the wind pressing you backwards. </p><p>It caught me completely off guard, I blinked back to reality, losing concentration.</p><p>I remained kneeling on the floor of my cargo bay, gathering myself.</p><p>The <i>push</i> wasn’t violent. There didn’t seem to be a reason to be afraid. I had gotten some kind of response, but I didn’t know what it meant. </p><p>I tried to return to the meditation, but my mind was scattered. I couldn’t focus. My entire body felt fluttery, full of nervous energy. I allowed myself to fall back on my ass, legs splaying out in front of me. I felt very small, and very human. </p><p>I sat and breathed, feeling the metal beneath me, reconnecting my body and mind. </p><p>This mystery of the Darkside wasn’t going to be solved today. I stood up and made my way to the cockpit. </p><p>I needed to prepare for my arrival on Artrix. </p><p>
  <b>II</b>
</p><p>As soon as I left hyperspace, I got to work. </p><p>My first call was to Ahobri. Thankfully, she answered right away. </p><p>“Siobhan! I hadn’t heard from you. I was worried something might have happened.”</p><p>“Sorry about that,” I said. I hadn’t contacted anyone before I left Starkiller Base, “I just got to Artrix. Do you think Jukhara would let me park my ship at The Outpost?”</p><p>Ahobri shook her head, “You and I need to talk first.”</p><p>“Is it that bad?” I asked, trying to hide my worried grimace. </p><p>“Jukhara isn’t going to be happy to see you,” she answered, “But I want to talk to you regardless. I’m headed to The Lighthouse. Meet me there.”</p><p>“Okay, give me an hour.”</p><p>“See you,” Ahobri said. </p><p>I closed the line. </p><p>The Lighthouse was owned by her friend, Keldrona. We usually went there for celebrations. The bar was swanky and expensive, a cut above our usual dives. I hoped that this meant that she was going to accept my offer. </p><p>I wanted to speed down to the surface, but I needed to send a few more messages before I made it down planet-side. </p><p>I couldn’t wait to have a pilot, let someone else fly while I worked. </p><p>Ymir got an update: [Arriving on Zeltros for the meeting with Boz. I’ll call you when I’m done. Expect it to be a couple of days.]</p><p>I wondered if he was going to hear about my fight with Phasma. She had acted out of line, and she knew it. I may have been drunk, I may not have been following Base procedures, but I was a Sith. I outranked everyone. I didn’t have to play by their rules.<br/>
Ymir would give me hell if he found out about it. </p><p>I wasn’t in the mood to talk with Joll. I typed up a message. If he needed to talk, he could call me himself: [I’ll be on Zeltros tomorrow. Let me know where and when we’ll be meeting.]</p><p>That was a white lie. Joll didn’t need to know I was already here. I wanted to spend the day with Ahobri. And I needed to settle this mess with Jukhara before anything else. </p><p>My last call  was to Ekene. I missed him and I wanted to figure out what was going on with him and Ymir. I punched in his number and waited. If Ahobri was joining me, and we nailed this deal with the Hutts, I wanted to have a real celebration at the Estate. </p><p>Unfortunately, Ekene didn’t answer, so I left him a video message: [“Ekene! I’m finishing a leg of my assignment. I want to come out and visit you after. I’m thinking two or three days from now. Call me back. I can’t wait to see you!”]</p><p>Ahobri was going to lose it when she saw Ymir’s Estate. He said he wasn’t around much these days. We’d have the place to ourselves, just me, her, and Ekene. </p><p>***</p><p>I piloted Rosie down to a garage just a few blocks from The Outpost, paying double what I would have if I had parked near Gungantown. </p><p>I didn’t have a lot of choice with my clothes, but I took care putting together my outfit. My only options were what Tasha had packed for my on my last visit, either one or two weeks ago. </p><p>After the fight with Phasma, I was too angry to think straight. I had punched directly into hyperspace without stopping by the Finalizer for more clothes and supplies. </p><p>I wore my black pants and tailored black vest, with a plain blue tunic shirt. I took time with my make-up and jewelry, putting gold rings on my fingers and bangles on my wrist. </p><p>Finally, I emerged from my ship, joining the throngs of people on the streets and crowded walkways. </p><p>It was late afternoon, the sun stretching long in the sky. Today, there were fewer clouds and I could see Zeltros above us. </p><p>Tomorrow I’d be there, having a meeting with the head of the Uhdeas, one of the largest and wealthiest Hutt families. Then I’d take Ahobri out and show her how I’d been living. </p><p>I pushed past the market-goers and window shoppers, the kids with dyed hair and piercings loitering on the stoops, smoking loosies. I walked past panhandlers and buskers. Everyone begging for change. </p><p>As I moved uptown, the streets cleared out a little, people weren’t pressed so tightly together, the shop facades were nicer. </p><p>I arrived at The Lighthouse. It was a gorgeous bar - all glass, crystal, and black leather furniture. </p><p>I entered and asked for Ahobri. A slight Kaminoan woman took me through the building to a private room in the back. </p><p>Ahobri was sitting at a small, glossy, black table with a glass of white wine. She had her tablet out in front of her, reading something. </p><p>She stood up as I entered, a bright smile on her face. She was radiant in a gauzy white dress, dipped in lilac at the hem. Her headtails were braided in white fabric. She had on a pair of large silver earrings and the armbands I had given her. </p><p>She gave me a hug and ordered a bottle of fizzy alcohol from the hostess. </p><p>“Do we have something to celebrate?” I asked with a smile, taking my seat. </p><p>“We do,” Ahobri said, eyes sparkling.  </p><p>I grinned, waiting for her to tell me the good news. </p><p>“So before I give you my answer, I want to hear your offer. Let’s make this official,” Ahobri said, taking a sip of her drink.</p><p>I felt like a dope, smiling ear-to-ear. I realized just how long it had been since I felt joyful about something. </p><p>“Ahobri,” I began, “I want to bring you on as, well, let’s call you my manager.” </p><p>She made a gentle snort, tamping down her amusement. </p><p>“I have a lot of different deals going on. I want to pay you seven hundred credits a cycle to handle my money and help maintain relationships with the Hutts and other groups I’m going into business with. Eventually, I want to have a house of my own, and I need your help to run it. Will you join me?”</p><p>Ahobri took my hand with a grin, “Yes!”</p><p>We left our seats for a hug and a kiss. </p><p>I felt giddy. My head was spinning. </p><p>A waitress brought the bottle of alcohol and two delicate fluted glasses. </p><p>Ahobri made the toast, “Siobhan, when you first came to The Outpost, I thought you were all talk…”</p><p>I pressed my lips together, fighting a smile. Ahobri gave me a knowing look. </p><p>“Then I got to know you, and... you’ve never let anyone tell you where you belong. I’ve always admired that. You make me feel like I can be more than where I grew up. I didn’t think I’d have a second chance to leave The Outpost, and I’m happy to be leaving with you.”</p><p>There were tears shimmering in my eyes as we touched glasses. </p><p>We drank, and talked about our future. </p><p>Jukhara would be the next person we talked with. She was my top priority for the day. </p><p>“How did she take the news about Joll?” I asked. </p><p>Ahobri grimaced, “She refused to talk with me for an entire day,” she answered, “At first she wanted to blame you entirely. I had to convince her that you didn’t ask me to pursue Joll - she talked with him and had that confirmed. Joll doesn’t remember you at all, by the way. He has no idea you used to work with me.”</p><p>I shrugged, “Normally, I’d be offended, but this works out great for us.”</p><p>I hadn’t worked at The Outpost for five years. To him, I was just another brothel-girl, completely forgettable. </p><p>“Do you expect Jukhara to put up a fight when I buy your contract?” I asked. </p><p>Ahobri folded her green fingers together, “So, I’ll be the one to buy my contract,” she corrected. </p><p>“Are you sure? You don’t have to-”</p><p>“I need to,” Ahobri said, her tone left no room for argument, “I’ve had more than enough money to buy my contract. For years. I’m going to do this on my own.”</p><p>For a moment her expression was very serious. I didn’t push any more. </p><p>“I understand,” I told her. </p><p>“Jukhara already plans to talk with you,” Ahobri said, “She’s really upset that this has escalated. She doesn’t want to look like she’s working for the First Order.”</p><p>“Just taking their money?” I said with a wry twist to my mouth. </p><p>“It’s business,” Ahobri said, “She has to stay neutral.”</p><p>“Do you think I have any chance of fixing things with her? Or am I officially on her shit list?”</p><p>“Honestly, I don’t know,” Ahobri said, trailing a finger around the rim of her glass, “Her contract is working out so far. I know that the First Order just asked for one hundred more staff.”</p><p>I raised an eyebrow. I was completely out of the loop on this deal. I had arranged it entirely through back channels. No one was responsible for keeping me informed of changes.</p><p>“No shit, how much more money is that?” I asked. </p><p>“Fifty thousand credits per cycle,” Ahobri replied. </p><p>Okay. That gave me some leverage. Jukhara was now going to be making over one hundred thousand credits each cycle through the First Order. I made a note that I needed to collect on my percentage. </p><p>“So I’ll meet with her. Then you’ll buy your contract. Do you have a new place lined up? What do we need to move?”</p><p>“We can wait until after the meeting with Boz. I’ve packed up most of my stuff. I’ll be able to leave it there for a week or two. I wanted to know what your plans were before I got a place.”</p><p>I was nodding, “That’s good. I want to take you out after we make the deal with Boz. I have a place in the Inner Rim I want to show you. So we can jet out there, have a good time for a few days, and then get you set up in a new place.”</p><p>“I talked with Koval and Dreks about coming to do security for me, if I’m going to be on Artrix for a little while.”</p><p>“That’s a really good idea,” I said, “I’d pay for them, of course.”</p><p>I hadn’t thought that far ahead. I was used to defending myself, but Ahobri wasn’t a fighter.<br/>
I knew the Hutts would be sniffing around after this deal. I didn’t expect them to be violent, but they’d be wanting to find out more about us. Koval and Dreks could make sure no one got too close. </p><p>“To new horizons,” Ahobri said as we toasted with the last of the bottle.</p><p>***</p><p>We walked to The Outpost arm in arm. </p><p>The streets were crowded with people. I could smell the polluted water in the canals, mixing with the smells from food stalls and crowded apartments. I took a breath, taking in the miasma of sound and sensation. With Ahobri at my side, the world seemed brighter and full of possibility.</p><p>I wasn’t looking forward to the meeting with Jukhara, but I had secured at least one win today. I’d enjoy my victories as they came. </p><p>“I’m hiring a pilot,” I told Ahobri, as we moved up floors of a neighboring building, approaching the back entrances of The Outpost. </p><p>“Someone from your smuggling crews?” Ahobri asked. </p><p>“No, she’s actually a conscript from one of the training bases. I met her a couple of weeks ago,” I replied, “She’s a funny little thing. She’s human, says she’s one of the Ithan people. You ever heard of them?”</p><p>Ahobri shook her head. </p><p>“I hadn’t either,” I said, “She’s from Fedje. Covered in tattoos. I think you’ll like her.”</p><p>We moved across the catwalk between buildings. Today, the guards were two Gamorreans I didn’t know. They nodded at Ahobri and waved us through. </p><p>We walked directly to Jukhara’s office. We needed to be brief; it was only a few hours before the night shift started; Jukhara would be even more pissed if we took up her time during the evening preparations. </p><p>Koval was posted outside her office. </p><p>“Siobhan! Are you coming back to work?” he said with a grin. </p><p>He was breaking protocol. Jukhara liked the guards outside her office to keep their mouths shut and not be friendly with the people going too and from. But I never came by this frequently. I was only here once or twice a year, and now I had visited three times in the past cycle. </p><p>“Nah, I’m making money other ways,” I told him, “But I think the three of us might have some business together soon.”</p><p>“Ahobri told me,” he said, “I’ll look forward to it.”</p><p>He opened the door for us, and Jukhara looked up from her desk. </p><p>“Just Siobhan first,” she said, her voice was raspy and cold. </p><p>I gave Ahobri a look and squeezed her hand before I stepped through the door, alone. </p><p>Jukhara sat behind her desk, t’bac holder between her red fingers, smoke rising overhead. </p><p>“Sit down,” she said. Her voice was cold. </p><p>She didn’t offer me anything to drink. She was skipping the usual niceties. </p><p>“Jukhara, I’m sorry,” I began. </p><p>One of her immaculately shaped eyebrows raised. The gemstones in the chain between her filed-down horns glittered. </p><p>“Well that’s a start,” she said, tapping ash from the roll of t’bac, “We’re only meeting because you didn’t push Ahobri to connect you with Joll.”</p><p>That, and the fact that my deal was netting Jukhara hundreds of thousands of credits each cycle. </p><p>I opened my mouth, but she kept talking. </p><p>“Still, you understood my reasons for not wanting to get mixed up in this, and you still managed to pull me in. Joll was asking me about you, asking when Ahobri started having friends like you. I had to lie to him Siobhan, to save my own ass.”</p><p>Jukhara let me see her anger. </p><p>“Look, I know this puts you in a shitty position,” I replied, “But Ahobri is coming with me, so this won’t involve you anymore…”</p><p>Jukhara’s temper was flaring, that never happened, “Dammit, Siobhan!” </p><p>Her sharp chin jutted forward, she took an sharp inhale of t’bac, “Joll knows that I have a contract with the First Order. If someone discovers that you work for them - the Uhdeas have eyes and ears everywhere, and you’re not as clever as you think you are…”</p><p>Ouch. </p><p>“...and they will know that Ahobri is working for you,” Jukhara continued, gesturing with the t’bac holder, “And that circles around to me. And I do not want the Uhdeas to think I’m a fucking First Order agent!”</p><p>This conversation was going south, fast. </p><p>“We’re in agreement. I can’t afford to have them find out who I’m really working for,” I said, “But we are where we are. I have a meeting with Boz tomorrow. After that, Ahobri is coming with me.”</p><p>“Her contract is twenty thousand,” Jukhara said abruptly. </p><p>That price was definitely inflated. She wanted to get as much out of me as she could. </p><p>“I’m not buying Ahobri’s contract,” I replied, “I offered, but she wouldn’t let me.”</p><p>Jukhara’s lips pressed together. She looked at me with outright hostility, “When we meet, I’m going to do everything in my power to dissuade her from going with you.”</p><p>There was only a desk between us, but it felt like Jukhara was parsecs away. </p><p>“What’s this all about?” I asked, after a short stretch of silence, “I know you’re pissed that we went through Joll, and again, I’m sorry for that. I’ll do everything I can to keep this away from you. But it’s more than that… What are you so angry about?”</p><p>Jukhara set the t’bac holder down on the edge of her ashtray and she gave me a serious look. </p><p>“I don’t want Ahobri to go with you,” she said. She clasped her fingers in front of her, resting on top of the desk, “I know how close you are. I know how much your relationship means to her, but I think you are about to drag her down a very dark and very dangerous path.”</p><p>Tears were suddenly pushing at my lower lids, “Jukhara, I would never do that to her. I’m going to keep her safe.”</p><p>“You don’t think far enough ahead! You don’t even know how to keep yourself safe! How are you supposed to do that for Ahobri?!”</p><p>I tried not to shrink in the chair. It was like the call with Vin all over again. </p><p>“I love her. I’m not going to let anything happen to her,” I said, meeting Jukhara’s gaze. </p><p>Jukhara picked up her t’bac holder. “For her sake, I hope you can keep that promise,” she said, giving me a disdainful look. </p><p>She reached into a panel of her desk and passed me a small rectangular plastic box, “That’s your cut of this new deal. I know Ahobri told you about it. Now, I want you to wait outside the building while I talk with her.”</p><p>I took the box in my hand, making my way out of her office. I stopped in the doorway, turning to look at her. </p><p>Jukhara was giving me a hard, angry stare. </p><p>“I’m always going to be grateful for you,” I said, “You’re the best teacher I ever had.”</p><p>Jukhara was closed off. She waved her t’bac holder and looked away from me. </p><p>I left her office, maybe for the last time. </p><p>Ahobri was waiting with Koval in the hallway. </p><p>“Your turn,” I said, walking past her. I was not ready to make conversation. </p><p>I didn’t think that Jukhara would change Ahobri’s mind, but I didn’t want Ahobri to go into this meeting with doubt on her mind. </p><p>I left The Outpost, hanging around the walkway with two Gamorrean guards. I gave them coins for rolls of t’bac. I made it through four of them before Ahobri came out. </p><p>Troye was behind her carrying two suitcases, even larger than the ones she had brought with her to Roice’s place. </p><p>Ahobri was wiping at her eyes, silently crying. But there was hope in her expression, too. </p><p>“Oh shit, I’m going to need to empty my cargo bay,” I said, taking the heavy bags from Troye. I set them on the walkway behind me.  </p><p>He looked hungover - he had rings under his eyes, his black hair hanging limply behind his ears. He was wearing pajamas - blue pants and an old tunic. His slippers were ragged. </p><p>“Had a good night?” I said, offering him my lit roll of t’bac. </p><p>“The best,” he said, taking a grateful inhale, “So you’re taking Ahobri away?”</p><p>“I am,” I answered, putting an arm around her. </p><p>Ahobri looked up at me with a watery smile. </p><p>“Well, I’m thinking of buying my contract sometime soon. Let me know if you’re hiring,” he said. </p><p>“I just might be. I’ll let you know,” I said with a grin. </p><p>The three of us hugged, kissed, and said our goodbyes. </p><p>I picked up Ahobri’s bags, my right shoulder immediately aching with strain. </p><p>We left The Outpost together. </p><p>
  <b>III</b>
</p><p>Ahobri was emotional as we made the short flight from Artrix to Zeltros. Tears rolled quietly down her cheeks, even as she talked with me. </p><p>At first, we weren’t talking about anything serious. Ahobri was asking about what I had been doing, and I told her about the meeting with Tynne, and my reunion with Channa.</p><p>There was a lull in the conversation afterwards. Rosie was in the queue of inbound traffic, one ship out of the millions that came and went every day. </p><p>“How as the conversation with Jukhara?” I asked, reaching across the cockpit for Ahobri’s hand. </p><p>She took in a sharp and trembling breath. She wasn’t able to talk right away. </p><p>“...It was hard,” she finally answered, her voice choked with tears, “Jukhara, she said some things about you…”</p><p>I squeezed her hand, “I know. It’s okay.”</p><p>“And I was so angry at her!” Ahobri said, wiping at her eyes with the heel of her hand, “But she gave me a home. I had nowhere else to go…”</p><p>Ahobri cried and talked during the breaks as she caught her breath. </p><p>“I just can’t believe I’m not going back to The Outpost. I don’t work there anymore,” she repeated through our conversation, brushing tears away. </p><p>Ahobri cried herself out. I listened and comforted her. </p><p>“I hope this blows over and I can fix things with Jukhara. I mean, she took me off the streets too. I don’t know if I’d even be alive without her.”</p><p>For the first time in half an hour, Ahobri cracked a smile, “You’d be fine. You always find a way.”</p><p>Ahobri turned on my music, letting me know she was ready for a change. </p><p>It was a long slow journey down to the planet. While we idled in the crowded lanes of traffic, I was able to get some work done. </p><p>Joll had returned my message: [We’ll meet at 2200 tomorrow, on floor 340 at Helix. Give me a call when you arrive on Zeltros.]</p><p>Good, all that could wait until tomorrow. </p><p>Ekene had also gotten back to me. He had typed up his message, which was unusual for him: [I can’t wait to see you, Siobhan. I might be planet-side when you arrive, so give me a call when you get to Kotrea.]</p><p>“Who’s Ekene?” Ahobri asked, reading my messages. </p><p>“Ymir’s boyfriend,” I answered, “Him and Astrid are probably my best friends in the First Order.”</p><p>“Lord Ymir has a boyfriend?” Ahobri asked, head tilting as she processed the information. </p><p>“Maybe boyfriend isn’t the right word,” I said, “He’s the owner of Donnall Extraction. He’s not Ymir’s sidepiece or anything.”</p><p>At least, that was the case until this last cycle. They might not even be in a relationship anymore. </p><p>I looked up hotels and booked us a four bedroom suite at the nicest, most expensive one I could find. We were just a couple neighborhoods away from Helix, Boz’s casino. </p><p>I gave the hotel an alias. Ahobri transferred the credits for the room while I piloted. </p><p>It was two thousand credits for two nights. I didn’t bat an eye. </p><p>We were directed to park on a landing near the top of the building. A Neimoidian concierge was waiting for us with two neatly uniformed attendants ready to carry our bags. </p><p>The concierge was flowery, rattling off his spiel as he welcomed us to the hotel and our suite. The staff were grovelling and respectful, even as we exited my beat-up ship, and as they loaded up Ahobri’s bulging suitcases and my one kit bag. </p><p>Our room was near the top of the building. It was a massive space with floor-to-ceiling windows that actually gave us a view of the city, not just other skyscrapers and traffic lanes. It had marble floors, a balcony, liquor cabinets in each room, and a huge stone tub bath in the master suite. </p><p>I had my arm through Ahobri’s as the concierge led us through the rooms. The attendants set our bags up in the master suite. I had to stop them from unpacking and organizing our clothes. </p><p>I tipped the concierge handsomely and shooed him out. </p><p>When I returned, Ahobri was on the balcony with a chilled bottle of wine in her hand, drinking straight from the neck. </p><p>“This is fucking incredible,” she breathed, as I pulled up on the railing next to her.  </p><p>It was evening. The sky was a rich blend of deep blues and purples, with bright pink and orange in the distance as the sun sank below the horizon. </p><p>Artrix floated overhead, the large moon orbiting her mother-planet. </p><p>Without warning, Ahobri leaned forward, spitting a fat gob of phlegm over the edge of the building. </p><p>It would never make it to the ground - there were too many ships and buildings and walkways in between. </p><p>I had a hand on her back, laughing with surprise. </p><p>“What was that for?” I asked. </p><p>Ahobri turned to me with a fierce look in her eyes, “People from the slums don’t make it out. We die there. My mother sold me because she couldn’t even afford to feed herself. And here I am… I fucking made it..”</p><p>We kissed for a long time, our bodies pressed close, the wind tugging at our clothing. </p><p>It was like coming home. </p><p>Ahobri and I both grew up with nothing. We were born with a boot on our necks. Ymir, Ren, Ekene - none of them understood what that was like. </p><p>It was the reason why Phasma was so upset at me. She was never supposed to get as far as she had, and she had accomplished it through discipline and following the rules. I had a more powerful position than her without any of the self sacrifice. </p><p>We had made this ours, despite everyone telling us that we couldn’t have this. We had made it. We were here. The bastards hadn’t dragged us down. </p><p>When we returned to the rooms, we treated ourselves to everything.</p><p>First, I called up attendants to draw a bath for us. Two delicate Ghalla women took care of our nails, skin, and my hair. </p><p>When we were done soaking and primping, another set of attendants served an extravagant meal with seven courses, each paired with different wines. We ate in plush black robes. Ahobri made conversation with the attendants, asking questions about the food and drink. </p><p>She was so much better at this than I was. </p><p>We enjoyed our evening, drinking as much as we wanted. We set up cushions and pillows on the floor - attendants prepared a water pipe for us to smoke while we watched trashy Naboo holo-dramas on the projector. </p><p>Eventually, I pulled Ahobri to me. </p><p>I massaged her headtails, slowly working her up. When she couldn’t stand it any longer, I took my place between her legs, lapping at her, making her come over and over again.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>You can have anything you want…</p>
</blockquote><p>I murmured, soft and wine drunk. </p><p>She couldn’t hear me, not like Ren or Ymir could, but she could feel my intention. </p><p>We could have it all. </p><p>***</p><p>I woke up to sunlight, but there was a strange dimness that my brain struggled to process. </p><p>The windows were set to have a darker tint during the morning hours. I squinted and rubbed my eyes. </p><p>Beside me, Ahobri was snoring softly, buried in a cocoon of blankets and pillows. </p><p>I got out of bed as quietly as I could, trying not to wake her. I pulled on a simple outfit - my poncho, leggings, and boots. </p><p>In the main suite, I put a request through the console, trying to find out where they parked my ship. Within minutes, an attendant was at my door. He was a very thin Duros with a rigid, formal personality. It took a few tries to explain to him that I needed to go to my ship, myself. He kept insisting that he could fetch whatever I wanted from my ship. </p><p>I needed my comms, so that I could check my messages and have a quick chat with Joll in private. </p><p>By the end of the conversation, we agreed to have a parking attendant bring my ship around to the nearest landing. The Duros did not want me to demean myself by walking through the garage. </p><p>He escorted me to a landing on the same floor as my rooms. </p><p>By the look of it, I had slept clear into the afternoon; the sun was directly overhead, the sky a hazy pinkish-orange. It was windier today, pulling aggressively at my hair and poncho. </p><p>When the parking attendant brought Rosie around, I tipped everyone and told them I wanted to be left alone. </p><p>I fired up my comms and called Joll. </p><p>“Mara!” he greeted, his wide face taking up most of the screen. </p><p>“Joll, hey, I just got to Zeltros,” I said. </p><p>“You got my message about our meeting tonight?” he asked. </p><p>“Yeah, we’ll meet you at Helix,” I replied. </p><p>“We? You’re bringing Ahobri?” Joll asked. </p><p>Fuck, I really needed to watch what I said. </p><p>“I am,” I confirmed, “She told you we were business partners, right?” I kept my tone casual. </p><p>We were just having a conversation. </p><p>“She did,” Joll replied, “It’s just interesting, because I know Jukhara doesn’t like her girls taking on side jobs.” </p><p>Here we go, he was digging for information. </p><p>Joll had more to say, “...I was surprised to meet you. I’ve known Ahobri for a very long time, and I had no idea she had projects beyond The Outpost.”</p><p>There was a cold feeling in the pit of my stomach. </p><p>“Well, I had never heard of you before, either,” I said with a fiery little grin. </p><p>Joll laughed, loud and deep. He could take some playful disrespect. </p><p>“Allright Mara,” he said, still smiling, “I’ll send a shuttle to pick you up.” </p><p>“Oh don’t worry,” I interrupted, “I already got that worked out. The time was 2200, right?”</p><p>Joll’s good humor was fading. He wanted more information about me before this meeting, but I was not going to give anything away. </p><p>“That’s right,” he answered, looking at me more seriously now. </p><p>“I’ll see you in a few hours then,” I replied, and ended the call. </p><p>My heart had kicked up a notch during our conversation. </p><p>The Hutts had had a week to look into me and prepare for this meeting. They could very easily be setting some kind of trap. </p><p>Maybe I should have waited and gone through Holst instead. </p><p>Jukhara’s words rose up at the back of my mind - ‘You don’t think ahead!’</p><p>Joll had known Ahobri for thirteen years, and had worked closely with her the last four. </p><p>Suddenly, my plan seemed less than airtight. </p><p>I leaned back in my seat, a knuckle resting between my teeth as I thought. </p><p>There was a chance that Joll already heard about me. But what did that matter? He’d know that I was a low-level smuggler, that I had been in the Resistance. He wasn’t Vin though - Vin had known what to look for. I flat-out told Jukhara that I was working for the First Order, otherwise she might not have known. She wouldn’t have figured out that the man I brought was Kylo Ren.</p><p>I just might be able to get away with this, but I needed to be careful. </p><p>I didn’t like that Joll tried to arrange our transportation. It was too obvious. He was either thought we were stupid, or he was desperate to use opportunity that would give him an edge on me.</p><p>We’d need to leave Zeltros as soon as possible after the meeting. I wasn’t going to let the Hutts keep sniffing around us. </p><p>I thought about Ekene. The Estate awaited. Ahobri and I would hang out in this gorgeous hotel, we’d spend a few hours striking a deal with Boz, then I’d take her out to Kotrea to be waited on like queens. </p><p>A few hours, then the hard part would be over. </p><p>Before I left Rosie, I dug out the little baggie of Blue from my hiding place in the ceiling tiles. I gave my lightsabers a pat. I hated having to leave them stashed away like this. </p><p>The meeting would go so much differently if I was able to stride in with those two hilts on my belt. </p><p>When I was done with my ship, I called an attendant over to park her again, then I returned to the rooms. </p><p>Ahobri was in the shower. The windows were completely transparent, sun flooding inside. </p><p>I ordered us breakfast and flopped down on the massive bed, enveloped in a fluffy blanket. </p><p>The shower had been turned off. I heard water running in the sink. </p><p>“We need to talk about Joll!” I shouted. </p><p>“What?!” Ahobri called. It sounded like she was brushing her teeth. </p><p>“I just had a conversation with Joll! We need to talk about it!”</p><p>Ahobri appeared in the doorway, toothbrush hanging out of her mouth, a hotel robe wrapped around her. “What did he say?” she asked around the foam and bristles.  </p><p>“He called me out on a couple of things,” I said, propping myself up on my elbows, “He said he’s known you for years and has never heard of me before.”</p><p>Ahobri’s eyes widened with concern. </p><p>“Then he said that he knows Jukhara doesn’t like his girls doing side jobs, and at the end he offered to arrange our ride to the casino.”</p><p>“Fuck,” Ahobri said. </p><p>At that moment, attendants arrived with our food. </p><p>Ahobri quickly went to the bathroom to wash her mouth out and drop the toothbrush. </p><p>We paused our conversation for a few minutes until I could herd the servants out the door. They were ready to stay and spoon feed us, if necessary. The royal treatment. </p><p>“I should be the one to handle things with Joll,” Ahobri said, as we started our meal.</p><p>“Do you think we should tell Joll you bought your contract?” I asked, taking a bite of some kind of pastry. It was sweet and buttery. I hadn’t eaten this well in weeks. </p><p>“Yeah, that’ll take any heat off of Jukhara,” Ahobri said, “And it shores up our story.”</p><p>I leaned in, not sure how she wanted to spin this, “What’s your idea?” </p><p>“Well, I’ll tell Joll that I met you recently, and that’s why he doesn’t know you. I can say I told Jukhara I was planning to buy my contract. You needed to get the ball rolling on this deal, so there was some overlap, and now I’m working for you.”</p><p>I let out a sigh of relief, “Alright, yeah, that fits.”</p><p>Ahobri took a bite of her pastry, looking very pleased with herself. </p><p>
  <b>IV</b>
</p><p>We devoted the afternoon to planning the meeting with Boz. </p><p>We decided to set up camp in one of the other bedrooms, just to switch things up. I set up a holoprojector. I had my tablet and all the spare cash that was packed in the kit bag. I took a spot on the floor, while Ahobri lounged on the bed. </p><p>We finished off what was left in the little baggie of Blue, taking little bumps while we worked. </p><p>Ahobri was much more familiar with the Uhdeas, their rules and formalities. She talked me through her expectations. </p><p>Joll had a lot on the line for this meeting. This deal was a windfall for him - he was able to go to Boz with some serious information. He was going to be doing everything he could to make sure this deal went smoothly, to make sure I wasn’t about to embarrass him in front of his bosses. </p><p>“Joll will try to find out what kind of deal you’re going to present to Boz,” Ahobri said, “Are you willing to tell him anything?”</p><p>I shook my head, “Not unless you think I should.”</p><p>“The less we say, the better,” Ahobri replied, “I’ll keep him distracted.”</p><p>We talked about transportation to the casino. The Hutts were going to have their eyes on us. </p><p>We decided to use a shuttle from the hotel and pay our driver to circle around until we called them to pick us up. Ahobri had her personal comms with her. I set aside two hundred fifty credits to pay the driver. I grumbled about the price. Everything was more expensive on Zeltros. </p><p>Next, it was time to practice the deal I was going to present to Boz. Our goal was to get a meeting in his office. Ordinarily, he held court in a lounge at the very top of the casino. Boz had to be very interested to have a person present a deal in private - his office was where the real business happened. </p><p>Ahobri and I reviewed the First Order intelligence reports I had organized. I was going to use the information on Senator Xanatta. Xanatta had been in bed with the Hutts for decades. He had started dipping into their pockets, asking for kickbacks to cover bribes and deals that had never happened. He was hiding the credits away in secret accounts. </p><p>I showed Ahobri the map, pointing out the territory Ymir wanted cleared. </p><p>“This isn’t Uhdea territory anymore,” Ahobri said, pointing at a cluster of sectors in an upper corner of the map. </p><p>“Really?”I asked, taking the map back from her, checking the marked sectors.</p><p>“That’s all Haak territory now,” Ahobri answered, “They just renegotiated their borders last year.”</p><p>“Fuck. I guess we need to get an introduction to the Haak family, too” I said, pressing my lips together in disappointment.<br/>
The agenda with Boz was already stressful; unless there was a really good opportunity, I’d probably wait until the second pay-off to bring that up.</p><p>We talked through contingency plans, in case the Hutts had information that compromised our position. No matter what, we were going to keep Jukhara out of it. </p><p>“I just can’t believe I don’t work there anymore,” Ahobri said. Her voice was soft and distant. </p><p>She had joined me on the floor, her head in my lap. I was massaging her neck, my fingertips pressing against the muscles at the base of her skull. </p><p>“All day, I’ve been thinking that I’m going to be late for the evening shift. I keep running my old to-do list through my head.”</p><p>I gave her a kiss, “It makes sense. It was your home.”</p><p>She was crying. I gently brushed tears from the corners of her eyes. </p><p>“We’re going to do this deal, then I’m taking you to Kotrea for a vacation,” I told her, “We’re going to have people waiting on us hand and foot. It’s going to be even better than this place.”</p><p>I wanted her to meet Tasha. We’d lounge around all day, getting drunk with Ekene. It was going to be perfect. </p><p>“I know you aren’t lying when you say you’re taking me to Kotrea,” Ahobri said, “But it’s hard to believe it.” She shook her head, wiping at her eyes. </p><p>“You deserve it,” I said, “We’ll have a great time. We just need to pull off this deal first.”</p><p>The last agenda item was negotiating my cut from Boz. </p><p>I thought about starting at fifteen percent, but Ahobri shot that down quickly, “Three to five percent is the most they’re going to do. If you start at fifteen you will actually offend them.”</p><p>“Okay, so I’m starting at ten? And gunning for five?” I replied with an easy grin. </p><p>We were offering the Hutts half a million credits to move their business elsewhere. Even three percent of that would still be fifteen thousand credits, right off the top, in cash. </p><p>“How are you going to even carry that much money?” Ahobri asked. </p><p>I shrugged, “The kit bag isn’t stylish, but…”</p><p>“Siobhan!” Ahobri chastised, “Please do not tell me you were planning on walking through a Hutt casino holding tens of thousands of credits that you just skimmed from Boz!”</p><p>I gave her an apologetic grimace. </p><p>We sat down on my tablet, working out how to make an anonymous transfer. </p><p>“I don’t want my boss to see this money,” I told her, as we worked on the problem. </p><p>“Why not?” Ahobri asked. </p><p>“He doesn’t know I’m making side-money, and I want to keep it that way.”</p><p>Ahobri gave me a heavy-lidded look, “Of course you’re lying to… your boss.”</p><p>Ymir. I was lying to the head of the First Order about money. </p><p>“Let’s have them transfer it to your account. I can get Ekene to help us with this when we’re on Kotrea,” I suggested. </p><p>Ahobri was shaking her head, “We can use my account this one time. It’s not secure for this kind of work,” she said, “And now I have a lot of questions about what you’re doing with your money.”</p><p>“That’s why I hired you,” I said sweetly, kissing her cheek. </p><p>Ahobri sighed. </p><p>***</p><p>Late afternoon stretched into evening. </p><p>I remembered to call a medic droid up to take care of the burn on my shoulder. I was finally starting to see real progress; the skin was shiny and scabbed, not open and pink like it had been a week ago. </p><p>We soaked in the tub and drank more wine, laughing at the awful Naboo holodramas. I needed a few hours to relax before this meeting got started. </p><p>In the last hours before our meeting, we called attendants to fix us up for the night. </p><p>I didn’t like the dress I had brought - it reminded me too much of Jukhara’s clothes, and I couldn’t wear the same outfit I had worn last time. </p><p>The stylist took some measurements, and made a request for several different dresses, all high-necked and long sleeved. Ahobri was not going to be left out, and she requested a couple new dresses to try. </p><p>While we waited for new clothes to be brought up, Ahobri and I were waxed, plucked, and primed. </p><p>When the dresses arrived, we tried them on, swapping out shoes and jewelry. After we decided on our outfits, attendants did our make-up. </p><p>***</p><p>I felt like the most important person on Zeltros by the time we entered our shuttle. </p><p>I was wearing black and gold. Ahobri wore a sapphire-blue dress, all straps, glittering with sequins, hugging the curves of her hips and thighs. </p><p>We had our money and equipment divided between us. I had a clutch holding two thousand credits for any small bribes that might be necessary. </p><p>Ahobri had a larger purse. She was holding two thousand more credits, her personal comms link, my tablet - with marked data chips for intelligence reports, and accounts to transfer the big money to Boz. </p><p>While we flew to Helix, I struck up a conversation with the driver, negotiating our pick-up. The last thing we needed was for the Hutts to find out where Ahobri and I were staying. </p><p>We settled on two hundred credits to circle the block until Ahobri called him. I <i>ordered</i> him not to talk with anyone from the casino. He would wait for Ahobri’s call and divert any work chatter.</p><p>Ahobri called Joll as we arrived at the massive glitzy casino. </p><p>A beautiful, blue-skinned Twi’lek was waiting for us on the landing. She escorted us to a secluded booth in a dim cocktail lounge. </p><p>Joll appraised us shrewdly. </p><p>“Ladies, welcome, have a seat,” he greeted, slithering forward, giving each of us a hug and a wet kiss on the cheek, “Mara, you’re a vision.” </p><p>“Thanks, Joll.” I hated the way my body sank into his flabby Hutt body. I kept my expression open and friendly. </p><p>We were going to make this deal, then get the fuck out of here. I could handle this. </p><p>“Boz is expecting us at 2230. I thought we’d take a moment to have a drink, and I can talk about some of the protocols. Ahobri, I know you’re familiar with us, but I’d like to prepare Mara.”</p><p>A waitress was already headed over with three cocktails on a tray. </p><p>“Thanks so much, Joll,” I said, graciously, “I brought a little something for you.”</p><p>I passed him a thousand credits. Enough to make him feel appreciated and hopefully keep him off our backs.  </p><p>He gave a friendly nod, and swept the credits away.</p><p>“Ahobri, are you visiting Roice while you’re planet-side?” Joll asked. </p><p>“I just bought my contract,” she said, eyes sparkling as she took a sip of her drink. </p><p>Joll considered her, masking his surprise, “Ahobri, I didn’t know. Congratulations,” he said. </p><p>The three of us touched our glasses. </p><p>“So you two are going into business together?” Joll asked, looking between the two of us.</p><p>I was so happy we had spent the afternoon planning. </p><p>“We are,” Ahobri said. She was going to take this part of the evening. She already had a relationship with Joll, and the more she talked, the less he could learn about me. </p><p>Ahobri chattered without saying anything. After working at The Outpost for so long, she could do it in her sleep. </p><p>The way she explained it, it sounded like we were being employed as go-betweens for a company that was trying to expand their holdings in the area. She gave Joll just enough to feel like he was getting real information. </p><p>I had my awareness extended, <i>reaching</i> into the space, wanting to spot any trouble before it happened. </p><p>Joll was buying Ahobri’s act. He thought he was being sly as he encouraged her to talk. </p><p>He explained some procedures of Boz’s court in the conversation. Thankfully, I didn’t get any new information. </p><p>We did a round of shots before Joll escorted us from the lounge and into an elevator. </p><p>Boz did his business in a series of rooms at the very top of the building. </p><p>Our first elevator took us almost all the way up. We stopped at a waystation floor. We had another ten to go until we reached the top.  </p><p>Joll escorted us down a hallway to a security booth. </p><p>Ahobri and I were discreetly patted down by two large Klatooinians. I tried not to laugh; our outfits were skintight - my bag could maybe fit a pocket knife.</p><p>After the security check, we were buzzed through to the other side of the hallway. From there we took an elevator up to the top of the building. </p><p>Boz’s court was impressive. Actually impressive. </p><p>The space was much more tasteful than the rest of the casino. It looked like a lounge, with glossy black furniture. There were booths along one wall, an elegant bar on the opposite side, tables scattered between. Holo projectors were set to high stakes fights, sports events, and races happening all across the Galaxy. </p><p>In one corner, a singer and band were set up, playing a soft, nothing kind of music - something that the crowd could tune out while they talked and schemed. </p><p>Bookies were set up near the screens to process bets and pay out winnings. </p><p>Gilded security droids slowly and subtly patrolled the space, ready to move against anyone who got out of line.  </p><p>Everyone up here was dripping in wealth; there were big enforcer-types in finely tailored suits; business men and politicians all rubbing shoulders together; their wives, girlfriends, and escorts, all done up in the latest styles. There were hats, extravagant hairstyles, jewelry on every appendage, dresses clinging to an individual’s best assets. </p><p>I hadn’t really considered the possibility until this moment, but there might be people who recognized me here. There was nothing I could do about it now. </p><p>Boz had his operation set up in a back corner. There was an arrangement of glass walls and dividers that sectioned off his space - it gave him some privacy and created an air of exclusivity. </p><p>“I’m going to let Boz know we’re here. I’ll be right back for you, ladies,” Joll said, motioning for a waitress to serve us while he slithered off to Boz’s corner. </p><p>Ahobri and I found ourselves at a small table, a stand to rest our drinks. This was all part of the song and dance. </p><p>I took the drink that came my way, cooly scanning the crowd, <i>reaching</i> into this group of gangsters and well-heeled criminals. </p><p>It was strange to see so many Hutts in one space. I guessed there were fifty of them in this room. I usually only saw one or two at a time. They were not an attractive species - asymmetrical, flabby, with mottled leathery skin. </p><p>I could feel their greed, a trait that was encouraged from birth. That, and shrewdness. </p><p>When I finished looking out across the room, I realized Ahobri was staring at me. </p><p>“What is it?” I asked. </p><p>She took my hand, a casual moment, but I felt her emotion, “I’m nervous,” she said, keeping her voice down. </p><p>“You’ll do great,” I encouraged, “You had Joll wrapped around your finger.”</p><p>She smiled. </p><p>I felt pride in my heart. </p><p>We were doing this, together. We were meeting with the leader of one of the wealthiest Hutt families, and he was going to agree to our deal. </p><p>Joll came back for us as we finished our drinks. </p><p>It was go time. </p><p>We flanked him on our way through the room. Eyes followed us. </p><p>Boz’s corner was full of his cronies and associates. </p><p>Boz was front and center, sprawled across a dias. He had four female attendants; two were Twi’leks, in shades of blue and purple; there was one delicate Ghalla; last was a strikingly tall and slender Utapaun woman. </p><p>There were a few bruisers milling around behind him. I counted five security droids. </p><p>Hutts dominated the space, slithering around with their women and hangers-on. As we approached the dais, I noticed Holst in the back. He was having a conversation with another Hutt I didn’t recognize. </p><p>“Mara Zhang, Ahobri Verbek,” Boz greeted in his thick, booming voice,”I’ve been looking forward to this meeting.”</p><p>I stepped forward, making a polite bow, “Boz Uhdea, it’s a pleasure and an honor for you to agree to see us.”</p><p>I hated this fucking baanthashit, but I had to do it. I thought about my lightsabers, stashed away on Rosie. </p><p>Ahobri stepped forward and made a longer, flowery greeting. There wasn’t the slightest hint of resentment in her voice. </p><p>Boz watched us. He was a sight. He was older - his leathery skin was even more wrinkled and saggy. He was one of the largest Hutts in the room, three hundred or four hundred kilos. The top half of his body was over two meters tall. His eyes were a rich shade of orange, closer to red around the pupil. </p><p>“So, ladies, you’ve managed to capture my attention,” Boz said, “Which one of you was responsible for the information on Bahol and Fir?”</p><p>“I was,” I said, stepping forward. </p><p>Boz had a wide grin on his face, “That’s what I thought,” he said, “We executed them three days ago.”</p><p>I stood, keeping a cool and neutral expression. Boz was going to start off with a little speech. </p><p>“While we investigated the traitors, we also investigated you,” Boz continued, “Mara Zhang is nobody.”</p><p>Eyes began to turn towards us. I could hear the room get quieter. At my side, Ahobri grew tense at the sudden shift of attention. It would be fine, as long as she kept herself in check. </p><p>“...and we don’t know who you work for,” Boz said, building up to his point, “So how does a nobody-girl know about traitors within the Uhdea family?”</p><p>This was my opportunity. </p><p>I stepped forward, a curl to my lips and a glint in my eye, “My employer wanted to demonstrate their commitment to the Uhdea family. We hope that this gesture of goodwill communicates our loyalty and our desire to form a beneficial partnership.”</p><p>Boz began to laugh. His belly shook, his head tilting back. </p><p>Everyone was watching us now. All the side conversations had died down. </p><p>This was exactly what I wanted. </p><p>Boz’s laughter slowed, but his shoulders were still shaking, an arm resting across his gut, “How about you give us your true name, as another gesture of goodwill?”</p><p>I smiled, as sweet and charming as I knew how to, “My true name is just as boring as Mara Zhang. Perhaps I can give you something more interesting. My employer just gave me a report on Senator Xanatta.”</p><p>A tremor of excitement rolled through the room. Xanatta was a prominent man, and did a lot of business for several branches of the Hutt family. </p><p>Boz crossed his arms over his chest. All his humor was gone. He appraised me for some time. His expression was stern, and there was a calculating look in his orange eyes, but I could feel his greed. </p><p>I was calm, standing patiently under his scrutiny. </p><p>Snoke had tried to intimidate me, clawing at the edges of my aura. I had stood my ground with Ymir and Ren. </p><p>This was nothing in comparison. </p><p>“All right, nobody-girl. We’ll have a sit-down.”</p><p>Boz began to slither off the dias, his women and cronies quickly moving out of the way. </p><p>The tall, beautiful Utapaun woman strode to a side door, placing her palm against the console. </p><p>Boz was the first inside. Holst followed. Joll, as a Hutt, went before me, with Ahobri trailing after. </p><p>My hand brushed against hers, and I tried to share my pride and confidence with her. I could feel her excitement, tangled up with her nerves. </p><p>The shiny protocol droid and the Utapaun woman rounded out our group. </p><p>Boz’s office was designed to intimidate. One large desk took up most of the space. He rested his fat hands on the surface.</p><p>The wall behind him had a huge, triangle shaped recession, accented in red light; a large painting hung in the space - it was abstract, and looked expensive as fuck. </p><p>There were four chairs in front of the desk. Boz indicated the center ones for Ahobri and I to sit in. </p><p>Joll took a place on the left side of the desk, while Holst was right next to Boz on his right. </p><p>“Mara Zhang,” Holst mused, talking to me for the first time, “Didn’t Roice try to set up a meeting for us last week?”</p><p>“He did,” I answered. My legs were crossed, my hands resting easily on top of my knees, “We were supposed to meet after the Luther fight. Unfortunately, you were pulled away.”</p><p>Joll’s posture was tighter and more anxious now. This could potentially put him at odds with Holst. </p><p>Ahobri noticed the tension, “We were on our way out of the casino when Joll spotted me and came over to visit,” she said. That would take some of the heat off Joll for stealing Holst’s deal. </p><p>Boz didn’t care about his captains’ squabbles. “So, nobody-girl,” he said, “What’s this news you have about Senator Xanatta?”</p><p>Ahobri had smoothly set her bag next to my chair. I removed the datachip, quickly confirming the mark in the corner. </p><p>I held it up in my hand. “Your good Senator has been embezzling money from you. I have the details on his secret accounts.”</p><p>It was a smaller audience, but I had the attention of the room again. </p><p>Boz motioned the protocol droid over and I handed it the chip. The droid inserted the card into a receiver on its arm. </p><p>The humanoid robot whirred and clicked for a few seconds.</p><p>“What does it say?” Boz demanded, his voice harsh and impatient. </p><p>“Your Excellency,” the droid began, in a posh mechanical voice, “This report indicates that Senator Xanatta has stolen seven-point-three million credits over the course of the last five years. I have identified three bank accounts that are new to our database.” The droid began to provide account details.</p><p>I watched anger settle into Boz’s expression at the news. </p><p>“That’s enough!” Boz said, his fist landing heavily on his desk. </p><p>“Yes, your Excellency,” the protocol droid responded primly. </p><p>Boz stared at Ahobri for a moment before his gaze landed on me, “Okay, nobody girl. What deal are you trying to make with us?”</p><p>I had his full attention now. This information was embarrassing. I had revealed two traitors in their ranks and a supposed ally stealing from their pockets.</p><p>“My employer has an interest in several sectors where the Uhdea family operates,” I began, pulling up the map on my tablet and making sure the device was locked, “So, rather than compete, my employer is offering the Uhdea family half a million credits each cycle. In exchange for this sum, you will cease all piracy, smuggling, and supply-line extortion projects in these specific sectors.”</p><p>I passed the tablet and map over to the protocol droid, who turned and awkwardly carried it to Boz - I wasn’t going to stand up. </p><p>“We don’t care about any other operations happening in the sector,” I continued, “Gambling, prostitution, drugs - all of that is beyond the scope of my employer’s interests.”</p><p>Boz made a cursory glance at the map before looking up at me, “Your employer wants us to stop all of our piracy and smuggling operations, entirely?”</p><p>I made a decisive nod. </p><p>“Why not just tell us which ships to leave alone?” Boz said leering at me. </p><p>“That’s not the deal I’m here to offer,” I said, breezily dismissing him, “They want to see you cease all activity along the hyperspace routes and supply lines in these sectors.”</p><p>More than half of the sectors were decoys - they had nothing to do with the First Order’s hyperspace lanes. I had padded the numbers even more after my last conversation with Hux and Ymir. </p><p>Boz closed his mouth in thought. He spent three whole minutes reviewing the map in silence. Then he passed it off to Holst. </p><p>I didn’t like that move. </p><p>At my side, Ahobri’s nervousness was at a low simmer. I was the one taking center stage for this negotiation. She was back-up and protocol. I needed her not to panic.</p><p>“Half a million credits is a fine offer,” Boz said, taking on a bored attitude, “It does cover a lot of the cost of moving operations, but it’s hardly a profit.”</p><p>I made another sweet smile, “Plus the seven million credits from Senator Xanatta.”</p><p>Holst snorted, “She has a point, Boz.”</p><p>No one else in the room dared to be that casual. Joll clearly felt just as nervous as Ahobri did. If this deal went through, Joll would have a lot more sway, maybe even move one rung up the ladder. </p><p>Boz held out his hand to review the map again. I could feel his greed, but he was careful. “What if we agree to two-thirds of this territory? I have good crews operating between Velmor and Chalacta.”</p><p>This wasn’t ideal, but it wasn’t unexpected either. </p><p>“My employer’s offer is for the entire territory,” I said, not backing down, “But as an additional bonus, we will be providing regular intelligence updates that will be very profitable for the family.”</p><p>“Hhmmm…” Boz murmured, giving the map another long look. </p><p>I waited, starting to get impatient. I did not feel like grovelling to a bunch of spoiled gangsters. If I had my lightsabers in hand, this wouldn’t even be a conversation. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> for Boz. I could feel his greed right at the surface, and I began to <i>push</i>, the same way I would with a mind trick. </p><p>Boz gave a slight shake of his head, his eyes darting side to side. </p><p>Fuck!</p><p>I could feel Ahobri’s eyes on me, but no one else seemed to notice. </p><p>“What if I only agree to two thirds of the territory? What will your boss do then?” Boz asked, leaning forward, both hands planted on the desk. </p><p>We had planned for this. I hated that we had to go here, but Ahobri and I discussed the possibility.</p><p>“My boss hired me because they prefer to develop mutually beneficial relationships,” I began, so grateful to have spent all that time listening to Hux, “So if you aren’t interested in the deal, my employer can certainly afford other means of enforcing their territory.”</p><p>Everyone was looking at me, seated calmly, my hands resting on top of my knees. It didn’t matter which way the deal went. I was just the go-between. </p><p>Planted in my chair, I tried once more to stoke Boz’s greed, a gentle <i>urging</i> at the back of Boz’s mind. This time, there wasn’t resistance. It was a natural sensation for him. I could feel him calculating the money, the opportunities, how he could use us for information. </p><p>This time, Boz was nodding his head, “All right,” he said, “So how much of a cut does a nobody-girl expect?”</p><p>Just the price of doing business. </p><p>“I had several different intelligence reports to choose from,” I began, “Considering how lucrative the information on Senator Xanatta was, I feel ten percent is reasonable. Cash in hand, for each payment made.”</p><p>“I don’t do ten percent,” Boz said, shooting down my first price the way Ahobri had said he would, “I’ll consider five.”</p><p>“I’m the one choosing which pieces of information you receive,” I said with my sweet smile, “Eight percent will help motivate me to consider which reports will have the greatest benefit to you.”</p><p>Boz had his arms crossed over his chest. He leaned forward, extending his arm to me. </p><p>“You have a deal,” he said. </p><p>I rose out of my seat to shake his hand. </p><p>The rest of it was just mechanics. </p><p>The droid copied the map. We exchanged the credit transfer between accounts. The Utapaun woman went to the safe for cash. She came back with forty thousand credits, in one-thousand credit chips. </p><p>They were practically unusable on the street, but Tasha could help me turn them into functional currency. </p><p>Boz had the map open, reviewing it while money was exchanged. </p><p>“I’m assuming your employer’s territory is larger than just these sectors,” Boz said, looking down at the map. </p><p>“That’s correct.”</p><p>“Then you’ll need an introduction to the Haak family,” he said, meeting my eyes. </p><p>“I have contacts,” I bluffed, automatically. </p><p>Ahobri gave me a sharp look. Boz did the same. </p><p>“Certainly, no one even approaching your stature,” I corrected quickly. I was already reeling from the success of this deal. I needed to keep my head straight. </p><p>“My apologies,” I said with a bow, “It would be greatly beneficial, of course, to receive an introduction from you.”</p><p>“I’ll sleep on it,” Boz said, “First I’ll see how I like doing business with a nobody-girl who represents no one.”</p><p>Aw fuck. That could have been smoother. But the money was transferred, the deal was done. </p><p>I stood up, shaking Boz’s hand one last time, “It was truly an honor, your Excellency,” I said, trying to recover points while I could. </p><p>“Your Excellency,” Ahobri echoed at my side. </p><p>***</p><p>I felt like I was walking through water as Ahobri and I swiftly left the casino. </p><p>The tall Utapaun woman was our escort, taking us down through the security corridor again. </p><p>My head was spinning. We had forty thousand fucking credits, in cash. Never in my whole life had I ever had this much money. </p><p>Ahobri was practically shaking, but she was thinking clearly enough to request our shuttle driver while we were in the main elevator. </p><p>We met the driver on the opposite side of the building from where he had dropped us off. </p><p>The Hutts were going to have their eyes on us. They’d be tracking the vehicle we left in, but we could make it harder for them. </p><p>Ahobri gave the driver the address of a different hotel. We had already planned to make a couple of stops to confuse anyone that might be watching. </p><p>As soon as the divider went up, Ahobri was grasping for my hands. </p><p>We screamed together, as loud as we could, our hands wrapped so tightly they hurt.  </p><p>The driver immediately rolled the divider down. </p><p>“With all due respect ladies, what the fuck?”</p><p>“Lady luck was on our side at the casino,” I said, pulling in a breath, my heart racing, “We won big-time.” </p><p>Ahobri was tackling me for a kiss. </p><p>“As long as no one’s dying back there,” the driver said, rolling the divider up again. </p><p>We kissed on the floor of the shuttle, both of us out of breath and shaking. </p><p>“What the fuck, Siobhan!” Ahobri said, starting to cry again, “What the fuck!? What the fuck just happened!?”</p><p>“We’re fucking rich is what just happened!” I growled, pulling her to me, tasting her. </p><p>I didn’t remember the rest of the ride. I just remembered Ahobri’s lips, the way her body pressed against mine.</p><p>The next thing I knew we were passing through our decoy hotel, moving down to the street to catch a less-conspicuous shuttle. </p><p>Night had fallen in the city, and the evening crowds felt alive and full of possibility. </p><p>I kept Ahobri’s hand wrapped tightly in mine. </p><p>When we returned to our hotel, I requested four bottles of fizzy alcohol. I called the garage, and an attendant brought Rosie around. We climbed inside, holding two bottles each. </p><p>I turned up my music and weaved an aggressive path through the outbound traffic lanes, zipping and dodging between slower ships. </p><p>We made it out of the atmosphere without incident, blazing into empty space. </p><p>I punched in the coordinates to Kotrea. My mind was scattered, so I made sure to check the calculations twice before pushing the lever forward. </p><p>We leapt into hyperspace. </p><p>Ahobri opened two of the bottles of fizzy alcohol and handed me one of them. “We fucking made it,” she said with a wide grin, her eyes sparkling. </p><p>“We fucking made it,” I agreed, knocking the butt of my bottle against hers as a toast.</p><p>We drank to our future, together.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I am so happy to finally have Siobhan and Ahobri working together. Whatever may come, Siobhan cares about her friend and wants her to have a better life. Also, Ahobri is a much better influence on her than Kylo Ren. </p><p>As a heads up: I’m planning a camping trip this upcoming week, so I expect to miss Wednesday’s post, but we’ll have the usual Saturday update. </p><p>Thanks so much to everyone reading this story. There are a lot of exciting updates coming your way. I always look forward to your comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Oasis</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>So, I told everyone not to expect a Wednesday post, and yet here it is. We had a surprise rain/snow storm move in, and it sounded much more fun to stay in and write than it did to try to camp. :) Enjoy the chapter!</p>
<p>Siobhan just negotiated more money than she’s ever had in her life. Ahobri, her closest friend, decided to join her. Siobhan wants to introduce her to Ymir and announce her intention to start a house of her own. </p>
<p>They are on their way to Kotrea to celebrate their success, but Siobhan finds that with great power comes great responsibility - something she’s avoided her whole life. </p>
<p>Is Siobhan going to rise to the occasion?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>I</b>
</p>
<p>Alone in hyperspace, Ahobri and I celebrated.</p>
<p>We each finished a bottle of fizzy liquor. I turned up my music and we danced barefoot in my cargo bay. </p>
<p>We were still reeling from our successful meeting with Boz, that we rehashed over another bottle.</p>
<p>By the time we opened the third bottle, Ahobri and I were ready to turn off the music and return to my bunk. We laughed and rolled around in the scratchy sheets. </p>
<p>Ahobri came to a rest laying on top of me, her hands on my chest. “I want to see it,” she said,</p>
<p>“See what?” I asked, kissing the tip of her green nose.  </p>
<p>“The money!” </p>
<p>Her eyes were bright. To see her so excited made my heart ache with happiness. </p>
<p>We climbed out of the bunk and emptied our bags of credits, pouring them out on top of my bed.</p>
<p>I had forty chips, each a thousand credits. My cut from Boz. </p>
<p>I took one of the chips in my hand. It was heavy. The denomination was firmly punched into the metal. It was real.</p>
<p>“I’ve never had this much money before,” Ahobri said reverently, taking a seat on the edge of my bunk, running her hands across the coins scattered on top of my sheets. </p>
<p>“Me neither,” I replied. </p>
<p>“How much money do you already have?” Ahobri suddenly asked, “Before the forty-thousand?”</p>
<p>I shrugged, and started to do the math out loud. “Well, I’ve been skimming a percentage on all my recent deals…” I began. </p>
<p>Ahobri looked up at me, expectantly.</p>
<p>“I got almost ten thousand from Arjun. I think I told you I’m negotiating with the Smuggler’s Alliance...” I continued. </p>
<p>Ahobri nodded impatiently, waiting for me to give her an answer.</p>
<p>“I think I just got another four thousand from Jukhara, on top of-” I frowned, trying to remember all the different deals, different sums and my percentage of each. I paused, considering all the cash I had on hand for bribes.</p>
<p>“Siobhan, do you not know how much money you have?” Ahobri asked, her expression growing more serious. </p>
<p>I shrugged again, “I don’t know. Maybe sixty or seventy thousand credits now, counting Boz. Or eighty.”</p>
<p>“I forgot just how awful you were at money,” Ahobri said, picking up one of the thousand-credit chips and turning it in her hand, “What about your salary? What’s the First Order paying you?”</p>
<p>“Uh, y’know, I’m really not sure,” I admitted with a grimace. I had been so focused on making my own money, I hadn’t given a second thought to what Ymir was paying me. </p>
<p>Ahobri slowly blinked, squeezing her eyes shut in frustration, “Gods, I have my work cut out for me.”</p>
<p>I made a wide, apologetic grin, “That’s why I hired you.”</p>
<p>“So where is it? All this money?” Ahobri asked, “Do you have accounts for it?”</p>
<p>We were both still feeling the alcohol, but now Ahobri had a problem to work on. She had a determined glint in her eye. </p>
<p>“Actually, I’ve just been stashing it around the ship.”</p>
<p>Ahobri sighed, “For fuck’s sake, Siobhan. You’re hiding sixty thousand credits in this scrap heap?” She rose to her feet, “Seventy thousand? Show me what you have.”</p>
<p>“We don’t have to do this now,” I said, thinking about opening the last bottle of fizzy alcohol, “We can just take a moment and celebrate.”</p>
<p>Ahobri shook her head, “Look. You hired me. I want to figure out what I’m dealing with,” she said. </p>
<p>So we got to work. </p>
<p>Ahobri pulled a tablet from one of her giant suitcases while I climbed into the ceiling tiles of my shower. I pulled down my kit bag full of credits. While I was there, I grabbed my lightsabers, still hidden inside the pair of locking canisters. </p>
<p>“So, this is the bank,” I said, dropping the heavy kit bag on the ground dramatically. There was a loud clanking sound as it landed on the metal floors. </p>
<p>“We are going to do something about that,” Ahobri said cooly, seated on my bunk, legs crossed, “Let’s go over it. Let’s map out where your money is coming from.”</p>
<p>Ahobri sat me down. I told her all the different deals and people I was working with. She made a neat list on her tablet, recording each percentage I was receiving and the timeframe I’d be paid on. </p>
<p>The money I got from the First Order was labeled as ‘work' and everyone else went by their initials. I needed to get Ahobri her own secure tablet. </p>
<p>She also grilled me about my pay with the First Order and how the accounts worked. I couldn’t tell her much - just what Tasha had told me: I had enough money to get my assignments done. That’s all that mattered.</p>
<p>While we talked, I took my lightsaber hilts out of the canisters and hooked them to my belt. </p>
<p>“What’re those?” Ahobri asked, squinting at the metal objects. </p>
<p>“They’re my lightsabers,” I replied with a smile. </p>
<p>Ahobri tilted her head to the side, not sure how to respond. “That’s a real thing?” she asked. </p>
<p>I laughed, “Yeah, Ekene was the one teaching me how to swordfight.”</p>
<p>At the thought of Ekene, I remembered all the things I forgot to do before I took us into hyperspace. </p>
<p>“Fuck,” I muttered, interrupting whatever Ahobri was about to say.</p>
<p>“What is it?” she asked.</p>
<p>“I just realized that I have some calls to make,” I answered. </p>
<p>First I needed to call Ymir, give him the update on the deal, and tell him where I was. He didn’t know about Ahobri, or that I was bringing her with me. </p>
<p>I was backing myself into a corner. </p>
<p>The more I kept from him, and the longer that went on, the more difficult this situation would become. Maybe I could get it all sorted out when we got to the Estate. I’d meet with Ymir face-to-face, and tell him my intentions. Shit, he could meet with Ahobri. </p>
<p>The thought was exciting, but it was chased by a wave of unease. </p>
<p>Ahobri was still holding her tablet patiently. I remembered that I was supposed to be making a mission report for Ymir, and also the strategy write-up for how to expand into the newly-cleared territory. </p>
<p>I also needed to contact Tynne. Ahobri watched as my shoulders slumped, remembering that it had been close to a week; he should have taken his crews from the sectors by now. He was going to organize a council meeting with the five heads of the Smuggler’s Alliance. </p>
<p>I put my head in my hands. “I have a lot of work to get done,” I said morosely. </p>
<p>“Let’s work together then,” Ahobri said, putting a firm hand on my shoulder. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The last three hours of the hyperspace trip weren’t spent fucking around, like I had planned. </p>
<p>Instead, Ahobri and I set ourselves up between the kitchen table and the cargo bay to work. Ahobri took the table, while I moved between supply crates and the floor, unable to sit still for as long as she could.  </p>
<p>Ahobri retrieved a small box from her quarters, filled with neatly organized vials and baggies. We cut out a couple lines of Blue. I turned my music down, keeping it at a lower volume than usual. </p>
<p>I put together a report on the Uhdea meeting. That would keep Ymir off my back. </p>
<p>Then, I began to make an outline for the First Order’s expansion strategy. </p>
<p>While I sat and typed, Ahobri asked me questions as they came to her mind, “What’s next?” </p>
<p>I gave her more details about my assignment, “After Kotrea, we’re going to swing by Tynne for the second half of his payment.”</p>
<p>“That’s your old boss, right?” Ahobri asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m surprised you remember,” I said, looking up from the tablet. </p>
<p>“There there was all that drama with your girlfriend,” Ahobril said, giving me a look, “You were calling me every week. I remember that.”</p>
<p>“Channa was not happy to see me again,” I admitted with a roguish grin. </p>
<p>Ahobri wanted to start planning her next steps. We talked through plans together. </p>
<p>We’d be on Kotrea for a couple of days, then I had to get back to work on my assignments. </p>
<p>I wasn’t going to drag Ahobri across the Galaxy for these long hyperspace trips. I also couldn’t take her safely everywhere that I needed to go. </p>
<p>I wanted to pick Thess up from Starkiller Base. While I was there, I needed to set Hux straight and get him to stop gossiping about me. </p>
<p>But taking Ahobri into the Unknown Regions was not an option. I didn’t want her to know about Starkiller Base. It would put her in danger, and the knowledge of the First Order’s superweapon would horrify her. </p>
<p>We agreed that after our vacation, we’d swing by Tynne on our way back to Artrix. </p>
<p>I’d give Ahobri the money to hire Koval and Dreks as her security, and she’d find an apartment to set up in, to give her a place to stay before I bought a permanent house. I’d be covering that expense as well.</p>
<p>The forty thousand credits gave me a lot of leeway. It was money Ymir didn’t know about and couldn’t track. It was freedom. </p>
<p>After a few hours of this, we took a break for snacks and beer, and another hit of Blue. Ahobri was disappointed to find I didn’t have much in the way of real food, just packets of moco and a half-empty case of beer. </p>
<p>“So what are your thoughts about the house?” Ahobri asked, munching on fried starch, “Do you know where you want it set up?”</p>
<p>“I have some ideas,” I said, “But, I wanted to talk to you and Ekene about it first.”</p>
<p>Ahobri and I talked details. I needed a place in a neutral sector, somewhere between the Outer and Mid-Rim. I wanted it to be accessible, so deals could come to me, and I wouldn’t need to make all these hyperspace jumps. </p>
<p>I wanted a place where I could hold court, where I could keep a crew of people the same way Ren had his Knights. </p>
<p>Right now it was just Ahobri, soon it would be Ahobri and Thess. I’d find more people, ones with good connections, ones who knew how to fight. </p>
<p>Once I established a crew of my own, then I’d have the resources I needed to take out Ymir. </p>
<p>Snoke and Raj had their scheme, but I wasn’t going to rely on it, whatever it was. Anyway, they hadn’t even made me an official offer yet.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>With the first hyperspace alert, we began freshening ourselves up. </p>
<p>Both of us had been awake for almost two days. Between the excitement of the deal with Boz, the alcohol, and the stims, I had lost track of the hours. </p>
<p>“Siobhan, please tell me you’re getting a new ship soon,” Ahobri complained from the water closet in my quarters. </p>
<p>“There should still be hot water!” I called to her, “And yes, I’ll get a new ship soon. I’ll make a stop after Artix.”</p>
<p>I was drying my hair, poking through my locker for an outfit. </p>
<p>I didn’t know what time it would be when we arrived at the Estate. I wanted to have a few drinks with Ekene, give Ahobri a tour, then pass out. </p>
<p>“What should I be getting ready for?” Ahobri asked. She had just stepped out of the water closet. She had a towel wrapped around her, water dripping down her legs onto the metal floors. </p>
<p>“Do what you want,” I said with a smile, trying to put her at ease, “You’re coming in as my guest. Everyone is going to respect you.”</p>
<p>I had dressed while Ahobri showered. My outfit was nothing special - I wore black pants and my poncho. My hair was wrapped into a careless braid. </p>
<p>We didn’t have long until we arrived, and I needed to get ready to start making calls. </p>
<p>Ahobri looked up at me, mouth twisting with uncertainty. “Am I going to meet Lord Ymir?” she asked, with fear in her eyes, “You haven’t said anything to me about it, and I thought you’d say something, but now I don’t know-” She was getting worked up, tears in her eyes. </p>
<p>I rushed over to her, giving her a hug, “Ahobri, please,” I said, “He won’t be there when we arrive… I’m just planning to meet with Ekene for a couple of days.”</p>
<p>Ahobri sniffled, trying to hold back her fear, “Okay, I just, I don’t know what I need to be ready for.”</p>
<p>“You don’t need to be ready for anything,” I assured her, “You’ll be waited on, hand and foot. We’ll drink. We’ll have a good time. That’s all.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Ahobri said, a waver in her voice. </p>
<p>“Dress up as nice as you like,” I told her, a hand on her arm, “I’m going to be in the cockpit. I have a few calls to make before we land.”</p>
<p>
  <b>II</b>
</p>
<p>As soon as I took Rosie out of hyperspace, I got to work. I wanted to clear everything off my list so I could just disappear and have fun for a few worry-free days. </p>
<p>My first call was to Ekene. </p>
<p>Thankfully, he answered this time. </p>
<p>“Siobhan!” he greeted with an enthusiastic smile. </p>
<p>I could already tell he was drunk; he used my real name, not my First Order alias. A man and a woman were curled up with him, gazing at me with sleepy interest. I didn’t recognize either of them. </p>
<p>“Ekene,” I greeted with a smile, “I just got here, am I meeting you at the Estate?”</p>
<p>I saw a flicker of discomfort cross the faces of the man and woman. </p>
<p>Ekene gave me a meaningful look, “No, I’m on Kotrea at the moment. I have some rooms at The Plaza. I’ll send you their contact information and let them know you’re coming planet-side.”</p>
<p>Well, this was going to be interesting. </p>
<p>“Thanks. I’m bringing a friend with me. I’m excited for her to meet you.”</p>
<p>“A friend?” Ekene asked, with a droll look. </p>
<p>“Yeah, an old friend,” I repeated. </p>
<p>Ekene shifted positions and dismissed his companions before continuing.</p>
<p>“Does this friend know you’re working for the First Order?” he asked, his expression growing serious.</p>
<p>“Um, she knows a lot…?” I said, not expecting Ekene’s response.</p>
<p>“Does she know you’re a Sith?” Ekene asked, not letting me squirm out of the conversation. </p>
<p>“Yes…” I replied slowly. </p>
<p>“Fuck, Siobhan,” Ekene said, frowning as he looked at me, “Does Lord Ymir know about this?...” he stopped himself, “You know what? I don’t give a shit. You’re bringing an old friend. Your old friend who knows you’re a Sith. It’s not my fucking problem.”</p>
<p>“That’s the spirit!” I said with a smile. </p>
<p>Ekene was not moved. He deadpanned me through the console screen. </p>
<p>“So you know how I took Ren out to a brothel,” I continued, trying to see if I could save this conversation, “It’s the place where I used to work.”</p>
<p>“With your old Madame?” Ekene asked, his lips pressed together in irritation. </p>
<p>“Yeah, so I told my friend some of what I’ve been doing, and I wanted to take her out for a good time.”</p>
<p>Ekene gave me a nonplussed stare in return. “Sure, come on down. I’ll look forward to meeting her,” Ekene said, and ended the call. </p>
<p>That had been more complicated than I expected. </p>
<p>I was surprised that Ekene wasn’t at the Estate. </p>
<p>My plan to get drunk and fuck around for a few days still seemed possible, but I was even more suspicious about what was going on between Ekene and Ymir. </p>
<p>Ahobri was still getting ready in my quarters. I had a few more minutes to myself. </p>
<p>I closed the door to the cockpit and called Ymir. </p>
<p>Ekene’s response had rattled me. I decided that I wasn’t going to bring up Ahobri. We wouldn’t even be on the Estate. So maybe I could make this trip planet-side and talk to him about it after. </p>
<p>When Ymir’s face sprang up on my console, I wished I had just sent him a message. He looked very handsome, with a fresh haircut and fine robes. He also looked impatient. </p>
<p>“That took longer than I expected,” he said, “What’s your status?”</p>
<p>“Boz took the deal,” I replied, “I have the report typed up. I’ll be able to send it to you after the call.”</p>
<p>Ymir softened by one degree, “How was the meeting?”</p>
<p>“We got everything we wanted,” I told him, “Boz tried to play hard to get, but after I told him about Senator Xanatta, he crumbled. All they needed was money.”</p>
<p>“I’m glad to hear that,” Ymir said. </p>
<p>“Yeah, and I started working on the expansion strategy. I can send you the draft if you want. How was the job on Coyerti?”</p>
<p>It had been three or four days at this point, the fighting had to be over by now. </p>
<p>“We’ve secured the Ado sector. Kylo Ren and I will be here a couple more days to help with the transition of the new government,” Ymir said. </p>
<p>That sounded sinister. </p>
<p>“That’s great,” I replied, “I’ll keep my ears to the comms and see how the nearby sectors respond to the news. I’ll include it in the strategy report.”</p>
<p>“I have the feeling you’re about to ask me for something,” Ymir said, folding his arms.</p>
<p>“Well, I got a hold of Ekene before this last job. I’m going to meet him on Kotrea for a few days. We’ve both missed each other.”</p>
<p>“You’re welcome to spend time with Ekene,” Ymir said, one eyebrow drawing in. “I’ll be returning to the Estate in a couple of days, after I’m done with my work on Coyerti.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about some plans that I’m making,” I told him, thinking about Ahobri and Thess, setting up a house of my own. </p>
<p>“We can do that,” Ymir agreed, clearly ready to end the call. </p>
<p>“Is everything okay with you two? With you and Ekene?” I blurted out. </p>
<p>Now Ymir’s eyebrow raised, “I’m not willing to have this conversation over comms. You’ll see him on Kotrea.”</p>
<p>Oh shit. That wasn’t good. </p>
<p>“Okay,” I replied, “I’ll see you in a few days.”</p>
<p>“Send me your draft on the expansion plan,” Ymir ordered and closed the line. </p>
<p>A message had come in - Ekene had sent me the information for the hotel. </p>
<p>I sent Ymir my report on the meeting with Boz and my working draft of the expansion strategy. </p>
<p>Ahobri was knocking on the door to the cockpit. I opened it for her. </p>
<p>“Gods, you’re beautiful,” I told her as she stepped in. She handed me a can of beer. </p>
<p>Her outfit wasn’t formal, but it was perfect. She had on a sleeveless cream-colored robe and, beneath that, a strapless dress in shades of blue and gray. Her headtails were wrapped in a cream turban, held in place by a silver pin, studded with tiny blue gemstones. Her jewelry was elegant - all silver and blue. </p>
<p>“Thanks,” she replied with a half-smile, taking a drink to calm her nerves. </p>
<p>We were idling in space above Kotrea. Her moon was directly ahead - the entire thing was Ymir’s personal estate. </p>
<p>I took a long drink from the can. “So, we’re not going to Ymir’s Estate,” I began, “I got ahold of Ekene, and it looks like he’s partying at a hotel on Kotrea.”</p>
<p>I didn’t mention anything about the break-up. We’d hear the official news soon enough, first-hand. </p>
<p>“So we’re walking into a party?” Ahobri said, looking hopeful. That was an environment she could thrive in. </p>
<p>“That’s the look of it,” I replied, “I still need to call Tynne, but then we’ll go planet-side.”</p>
<p>I punched in the code for Tynne’s line. </p>
<p>Ahobri sat in the copilot’s seat, drinking her beer.</p>
<p>Channa was the one to answer. Her squat face and short hair popped up on my console screen. </p>
<p>“What is it, Siobhan?” she asked. She hadn’t warmed up to me at all. </p>
<p>“Are you Tynne’s secretary now?” I shot back with a friendly smile. </p>
<p>Channa grumbled, “He’s coming over. Do you have our money? It’s been a week.” </p>
<p>“How did the job against Blas tech go?,” I asked, seeing if she’d make any conversation with me.</p>
<p>“Robbed them blind,” she replied, looking away as Tynne came over.</p>
<p>They traded seats, and I was looking at Tynne’s bearded, wrinkled face. </p>
<p>“Siobhan, we’ve moved all our people out of the sectors. Are you on your way with my money?” he asked in his gruff, phlemgy voice. </p>
<p>“Unfortunately, I’m calling to let you know that my last job ran long. There’s something urgent that needs my attention,” I told him. </p>
<p>I was always flaky. It was inconvenient for Tynne, but it wasn’t a surprise after our time working together. </p>
<p>“Who’re you?” Tynne asked, noticing Ahobri. </p>
<p>“Business associate,” I answered for her. </p>
<p>“Siobhan has a lot of respect for you and your organization,” Ahobri said, all charm and manners, “I know her from Artrix.”</p>
<p>“Huh,” Tynne said, spitting to the side. </p>
<p>“It’s going to be a few days before I can make it out to you,” I said, reclaiming the conversation, “But I’ll add an extra ten thousand credits for the inconvenience.”</p>
<p>“That works,” Tynne said, running a hand down his wiry beard. </p>
<p>“Then I’ll see you in a few days. I’ll send you a line before I head over.”</p>
<p>Tynne closed the line. </p>
<p>“So that was Channa and Tynne,” I said to Ahobri, as I began to kick Rosie’s engines back on. </p>
<p>“That was Channa? She’s handsome,” Ahobri said, a playful grin on her face, “But it doesn’t seem like she’s forgiven you.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. I think she might be angrier,” I said with a grimace. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>We wound our way down to Kotrea. </p>
<p>Zeltros was an incredibly wealthy planet, but this was leagues beyond. Kotrea  was the home of stable money, passed down through generations. The people here weren’t constantly on the razor’s edge, always pursuing their next opportunity to stay on top. They were already there. </p>
<p>I suddenly remembered to set Rosie onto her First Order signature. </p>
<p>A security ship contacted me moments later, clearing my credentials. </p>
<p>Ahobri raised her eyebrows as I confirmed my name and position with the droid: Lin Siniang, Sith.  </p>
<p>I had my lightsabers on my belt. We were approaching one of the wealthiest planets in the Galaxy, standing proudly under a First Order banner. </p>
<p>Here, I wouldn’t need to hide who I was, kind of. </p>
<p>“You might hear people calling me Lin Siniang,” I told Ahobri, “That’s my name in the First Order.”</p>
<p>“You have another secret identity?” she teased. </p>
<p>“I do. I don’t want the Resistance to find out I’m still alive, and I don’t want anyone else to find out I’m with the First Order. But Ekene might be drunk enough to call me by my real name. We’ll see.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>We arrived at night; the city lights were shining in the purple-blue darkness. </p>
<p>My directions took us down to a magnificent, sprawling city. A wide river cut through the development, branches splitting off to meet the ocean. Great swathes of greenery were preserved on the banks. </p>
<p>Ahobri was awestruck, marveling at the sights. </p>
<p>The Plaza was an ornate building with terraces, smooth columns, graceful stonework, and lush ivy vines. </p>
<p>When I contacted the hotel, they directed me to the roof, decorated with large stone arches and a glass dome. I noticed festive lights flashing from inside the dome; I thought I could make out people dancing inside.</p>
<p>A concierge and attendants were waiting for us outside. Once we set foot on the ground, the attendants went aboard to unload our bags while the concierge led us into the building. </p>
<p>Ahobri took my hand. She was nervous, not wanting to gape at the extravagance. </p>
<p>The concierge took us to a door in the side of the glass dome. </p>
<p>The dome on top of the building was an exclusive ballroom. This wasn’t like Snoke’s ballroom on Taltua, full of polished rich people making polite jokes and shuffling through routine steps. </p>
<p>This was a real party. </p>
<p>Floating lights flashed patterns in red, purple, blue, and yellow. Attendants circulated with trays of drinks. The dancers all seemed close, drunken, and joyful. </p>
<p>The band was loud, a steady electric rhythm to their music. </p>
<p>I found myself bobbing my head as we moved. </p>
<p>I could have stopped to dance, but I needed to see Ekene first. The concierge led us around the perimeter of the dance floor, where people stood at tables or sat in booths. </p>
<p>There were eyes on us as we passed. </p>
<p>We were taken to an elevator, but we only went  down one floor. </p>
<p>“So is all that Ekene’s party?” I asked the concierge. </p>
<p>“Yes, madam,” he said, “Master Duru has both the ballroom and the penthouse floor. He requested that you both take rooms in his suite.”</p>
<p>Ahobri squeezed my hand. I squeezed her back in assurance. </p>
<p>We exited the elevator and moved down a hallway, lined on one side with floor-to-ceiling windows. </p>
<p>There was a party atmosphere on this floor as well; people in expensive-looking outfits and costumes moved through the halls, drinks in hand, laughing and shouting drunkenly. </p>
<p>Most of the doors were flung open, revealing opulent suites filled with more people. So far, I didn’t see anyone that I knew. </p>
<p>Ekene’s rooms were at the center of it all. </p>
<p>The large double doors were wide open, with his common room beyond. It was a gorgeous space with marble floors and columns. I guessed there were fifty people milling around, servants and attendants circulating through the crowd.</p>
<p>“Siobhan!” Ekene shouted as I entered. </p>
<p>He was very drunk. </p>
<p>Now he had two men hanging off him; they looked to be about my age, both shirtless; one was blonde; the other had blue hair, dark skin, and was covered in piercings and glittering jewelry. </p>
<p>I strode over to Ekene, wrapping him in a hug as he stood, “I’m so happy to see you,” I said. </p>
<p>I took a step back and motioned to Ahobri. “This is my friend, Ahobri,” I introduced. </p>
<p>“It’s a pleasure to meet one of Siobhan’s friends,” Ekene said, extending his hand. I didn’t get a hint of his earlier irritation.</p>
<p>“Likewise,” Ahobri said with a warm smile, “Siobhan has told me how much your friendship means to her.”</p>
<p>While Ahobri and Ekene exchanged small talk, I tried to figure out  what kind of situation this was. </p>
<p>Ekene looked like he had been partying for a couple of days. There were circles under his eyes. His locs were loose around his shoulders -for once, they looked unkempt. He had an uneven shadow of beard across his cheeks. </p>
<p>He was currently shirtless, wearing a gorgeous silk robe - it was a kaleidoscope of bold colors, reds, greens, purple, and blue. I thought I could pick out flowers and bird designs in the chaos. His only real clothing was a pair of tight black pants. He wasn’t even wearing shoes. </p>
<p>Ekene had brought an arm around Ahobri’s shoulders, and was doing the same to me. He smelled like alcohol and water-pipe smoke. </p>
<p>“Siobhan, I have no idea what’s been going on with you,” Ekene said, leaning on me, “We should catch up.” </p>
<p>It was one thing for Ekene to be using my real name. It was another thing for me to be discussing First Order business in a room full of strangers. </p>
<p>“Yeah,” I agreed, “Got somewhere private?” I asked, looking out at the crowded space. </p>
<p>“Right,” Ekene said. He snapped his fingers and two attendants were at our side. </p>
<p>Ekene sent one of them off to a side room. The second attendant left to fetch us food and bottles of wine. </p>
<p>I asked for a couple rounds of shots. Ekene was drunk and I wanted to catch up. </p>
<p>The three of us were led to a room off the main floor. As we walked away, the two men that had been draped over Ekene started sloppily making out on the sofa. </p>
<p>Our little threesome entered a smoking lounge. There were cushions on the floor, blankets, and a low table. Gauzy reddish-purple fabric was draped from the ceiling and the lights were dim here. </p>
<p>At first, Ahobri had felt stiff and nervous at my side, but in this kind of environment she began to open up. </p>
<p>It wasn’t a far cry from The Outpost. </p>
<p>We arranged ourselves on the cushioned floor. I wound up in the middle, with Ekene and Ahobri on either side of me.   </p>
<p>An attendant came in with drinks, just as we sat down.</p>
<p>Once we were all holding shots of some brilliantly orange liqueur, I made the toast. </p>
<p>“To friends reunited!” I said, and we touched our glasses together. </p>
<p>The alcohol was fiery and warm. </p>
<p>Ahobri and I did a second round of shots immediately. An attendant poured Ekene a glass of wine. I ordered another round of shots before the attendant left. </p>
<p>“Siobhan, I guess I should tell you what’s going on,” Ekene said, taking a deep drink from his glass. </p>
<p>I reached out to Ekene’s hand, giving him a comforting squeeze. </p>
<p>“So, you’ve probably figured it out, then,” he said, gesturing with the glass, “Lord Ymir and I have broken up.”</p>
<p>Ahobri’s expression was moving between emotions, not certain which one to settle on. She had met Ekene less than five minutes ago; Lord Ymir was the head of the First Order; hearing about a break-up between two incredibly wealthy and powerful men was not what she was expecting. </p>
<p>“I’m so sorry, Ekene,” I said, putting an arm around him and kissing his cheek. </p>
<p>He tried to shrug it off. He looked over at Ahobri. </p>
<p>“You just met me. You don’t need to care,” he told Ahobri, who was still struggling to decide which response was appropriate. </p>
<p>“Well, I care,” I said, turning to him, “What the fuck happened? This came out of nowhere.”</p>
<p>The attendant was stepping through the door with a fresh tray of shots. </p>
<p>“It’s not out of nowhere,” Ekene said, “Things have been shit for the past year.”</p>
<p>The alcohol and whatever else he had in his system had loosened him up. </p>
<p>“Fuck, really?” I asked.</p>
<p>I knocked back my shot, Ahobri did the same. </p>
<p>Ekene laughed, white teeth flashing. </p>
<p>“I just... the way he looked at you…” I said. </p>
<p>“Oh, I think he still loves me,” Ekene said, finishing his glass of wine, “And I still love him, but the relationship is over.” Ekene paused and made a sly look towards Ahobri, “Ever since Ymir took on his little project, that’s all he has eyes for.”</p>
<p>Ekene moved forward for the bottle of wine, pouring glasses for Ahobri and me, filling his own close to the brim. </p>
<p>“I have plenty of time later to be sad about this,” he said, with the nonchalance of someone who hadn’t been sober for days, “This is my celebration. To welcome in a new chapter of my life.”</p>
<p>We drank. </p>
<p>“So Ahobri, dear, I want you to tell me how you met our lovely Siobhan,” Ekene said, changing the subject. </p>
<p>Ahobri glanced at me for a second. </p>
<p>I grinned. “I don’t have any secrets from Ekene,” I said, resting a hand on one of his muscular thighs. </p>
<p>“Alright then,” Ahobri said with a playful smile, meeting Ekene’s eyes, “I’ve known Siobhan since she was seventeen.”</p>
<p>“I can only imagine what that was like,” Ekene said, shifting himself around where he was leaning and elbow on the low table, his head resting on his hand.</p>
<p>I stood up to get the water pipe started. </p>
<p>The alcohol was starting to hit me, and I was feeling good. </p>
<p>“I was working at The Outpost,” Ahobri said. </p>
<p>“That sounds familiar,” Ekene interrupted, “Siobhan, why do I know that name?”</p>
<p>“It’s the brothel I told you about,” I answered, finding a pot of sweet, sticky t’bac in a panel set inside the table. </p>
<p>“The one I helped you get the deal for?” Ekene asked. I had never seen him drunk like this before. I was starting to enjoy it.</p>
<p>“Oh, you were the one who set up the deal?” Ahobri asked. </p>
<p>Ekene grinned. “For some reason, Siobhan thought I’d be a better contact than Lord Ymir,” he teased, turning to me. </p>
<p>I was putting the cover over the bowl, pressing a button for it to start heating. </p>
<p>“And I never told Lord Ymir about that deal, by the way,” Ekene said, “So I don’t think he knows about it.”</p>
<p>I carefully stepped back to my seat, passing the hose to Ekene, “I was wondering if Ymir was ever going to ask about that.”</p>
<p>Ekene really was a friend. </p>
<p>He turned back to Ahobri, reaching behind me to take her hand. </p>
<p>“My apologies, darling,” he said, “I interrupted you. You were saying you met Siobhan as a teenager?”</p>
<p>“I did, she turned up on our doorstep, with nowhere to go, looking for work, and Jukhara, our old boss, brought her in,” Ahobri said, “Siobhan was a spitfire from the very beginning, and, to be honest, I didn’t like her all that much.”</p>
<p>“Ahobri and I were working on the same floor,” I said, “Eleven, right?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Ahobri said with a pursed little smile, “We had at least one argument a day, every day for the first two cycles. Then we finally sat down and had a conversation. I got to learn where she came from, and she heard my story… and that was it.”</p>
<p>She was protecting me. At the edge of a blackout, I had told Ahobri the story of how Lord Ymir -- Ekene’s ex -- the head of the First Order, came into my home and killed my father in front of me and my family. At that time, it had only been two years since it happened. I was a live-wire then -  angry, lashing out at everyone, always starting fights. Ahobri and Jukhara helped whip me into shape, reminding me how to act like a person. </p>
<p>Ahobri was determined to be confident. She took a pull from the waterpipe and passed the hose back to Ekene, “Now it’s your turn. How do you know Siobhan?”</p>
<p>“Well, the first time I actually met Siobhan was right after her first training with Lord Ymir. She had med tape over half her face. She looked a mess…”</p>
<p>“Thanks, Ekene,” I said with a sarcastic grin. </p>
<p>I was quickly drinking my wine, refilling my glass and topping Ahobri’s off. </p>
<p>Ekene kept going, a playful light in his eyes, “I think the better question is when I first heard about Siobhan.”</p>
<p>“Oh?” Ahobri said, raising her eyebrow. </p>
<p>“I don’t actually think I’ve told Ahobri that story,” I said to Ekene.</p>
<p>“Why not?” Ahobri asked, giving me a pointed stare. </p>
<p>“I haven’t had the chance?” I said, apologetically. </p>
<p>“So the first time I heard about Siobhan,” Ekene said, drawing attention back towards himself, “Was when Lord Ymir called me from the Finalizer, saying that Kylo Ren had been seduced... by a Resistance prisoner. He found them together, asleep in Ren’s bed.”</p>
<p>“He pulled the blankets off us,” I added, helpfully. </p>
<p>“Siobhan!” Ahobri exclaimed, wide-eyed. </p>
<p>“I couldn’t believe it,” Ekene said, “Our dear Kylo Ren - always so straight-laced. Siobhan told me you’ve met him?”</p>
<p>“Once,” Ahobri said, “But I didn’t know it was him at the time.”</p>
<p>Ekene gave me a look, raising an eyebrow, “That’s interesting. Let’s come back to that in a moment, now that we’re all sitting around having a drink, I want to know how you did it.”</p>
<p>It wasn’t a nice story. Ren had tortured me - actually tortured me. I was a Resistance fighter, the sole survivor on my ship, and the only person who could help the First Order find the hidden Resistance Base. </p>
<p>I took a sip of my drink and gave Ekene a look, “I did it the old-fashioned way,” I said, “Ren is just a man, after all.”</p>
<p>Ekene laughed and kissed my cheek. I could feel his stubble against my skin. </p>
<p>“Well, I think we’ve been in this room long enough for people to start gossiping,” Ekene said, “Let me introduce you to my friends.” He stood and offered a hand to Ahobri. </p>
<p>She took it, gracefully rising to her feet. </p>
<p>Ekene gave me a look, “Siobhan, please change out of that poncho.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Ekene had his arm hooked through Ahobri’s and began to take her through the room. </p>
<p>An attendant took me to my rooms. The space was enormous, even more impressive than the hotel on Zeltros had been. </p>
<p>There were two beds in the room, each big enough to hold three people comfortably. </p>
<p>I wondered if we’d have anyone coming back with us tonight. </p>
<p>I spotted the liquor cabinet right away, and <i>popped</i> open a bottle of wine, drinking as I changed outfits. </p>
<p>Ahobri was the one with all the clothes. I dug around in her bags for something. </p>
<p>I found a sheer mesh shirt that covered my arms and ended just below my breasts. I pulled off the poncho, my undershirt and bra, and pulled the mesh top on. The barbells were clearly visible through the thin fabric. </p>
<p>Finding bottoms I liked was the problem. Ahobri was just a bit shorter than me, and had much wider hips; we could trade shirts all day, but pants and skirts were another story. I settled on my pair of black pants, and left my feet bare. </p>
<p>I pulled out gold jewelry, putting long dangly earrings in, looping a necklace around me, and decorating my fingers in rings. </p>
<p>Still drinking, I decided to do my make-up. I smudged my eyes with black and my lips with red. </p>
<p>Feeling some fire in me, I secured my belt and lightsabers around my waist. </p>
<p>I was so tired of constantly pretending to be a version of myself. On Starkiller Base I was supposed to be an officer, some of the highest leadership in the First Order. Everywhere else I was nobody, a washed-up smuggler. </p>
<p>Here I could be a Sith, Ekene’s guest, Lord Ymir’s student. A mysterious acolyte of the Darkside. </p>
<p>I left the room feeling confident, with a sway in my hips and a bottle in my hand. </p>
<p>I found Ekene standing in a group of people, his arm around Ahobri’s shoulders. </p>
<p>“That’s more like it,” he said, putting his other arm around me, kissing my cheek. He turned to his group. There were two beautiful Chagrian women, a male Togruta, and three human women in the group. </p>
<p>“I’d like you to meet Lord Ymir’s acolyte-” he paused for a second, remembering he shouldn’t use my name, “Lin Siniang.”</p>
<p>I felt their eyes on me, sizing me up - my clothes, my bare feet, the two lightsabers on my belt. </p>
<p>The attention was just what I needed. </p>
<p>Ekene took Ahobri and me through the room, introducing us to his friends. </p>
<p>The crowd was unexpected, based on my experience at Ymir’s Estate. There were many different species - Quarren, Twi’lek, Gran, Chagrians, even a few Muun. </p>
<p>Most of them were artists or performers of some type. There were painters, sculptors, singers, and dancers. Ahobri actually knew some of the singers, growing adorably shy as she was introduced. </p>
<p>We continued to drink, the night beginning to grow fuzzy and out of focus. </p>
<p>People hovered nearby, wanting to be close, but scared to approach. For the ones brave enough to move into our circle, I shared stories about missions. The tales were exciting, all cobbled together from different events, the cruelty and bloodshed taken out. </p>
<p>At one point, we were on the terrace outside, dancing, shouting, and laughing. Ekene was hanging off of people in his group, talking about plans to go out on a yacht.</p>
<p>I had Ahobri pulled close to me on the balcony. She was grinning ear-to-ear, dazzled to be in this place. </p>
<p>“This is ours?” she asked, a whisper next to my ear. </p>
<p>“This is ours,” I told her, kissing her deeply. </p>
<p>
  <b>III</b>
</p>
<p>The party swallowed me up, darkness eventually capturing me. </p>
<p>I didn’t remember going to bed. </p>
<p>My dreams settled over my mind like a heavy fog. </p>
<p>Everything was indistinct and overwhelming at the same time. </p>
<p>I dreamed about a red sandstorm. </p>
<p>The wind howled around me. I couldn’t see anything. </p>
<p>My body was buffeted by the wind. It felt like it was coming from every direction. I could feel sand beneath my feet. I couldn’t think of anything else to do, so I walked, a hand outstretched in front. </p>
<p>There was more darkness. Strange sounds rose up around me - low voices that could make noise, but had forgotten how to speak. </p>
<p>Then came fire. </p>
<p>I could feel the heat as walls of flame sparked to life, climbing towards the sky. The fire didn’t burn me, though. </p>
<p>As I walked through the tunnel, I thought I could feel another person with me. I swung my head around, but I never saw anyone else. </p>
<p>The flames were hypnotizing, I thought I saw faces I recognized - old friends, living and dead. </p>
<p>All around me, the fire roared - it was a surging sound, pulling the air from my lungs. As I pushed forward, I began to hear the layers beneath it. I heard screaming. They were voices I recognized. </p>
<p>I heard the screams of the freedom fighters on Otomok. I heard the screams of the Jedi apprentices that Ren, Yuri, and Adram had killed. I heard the screams of the dead acolytes on Korriban. </p>
<p>I began to run, my hands over my ears, trying to escape the awful sounds and the flames threatening to drown me. </p>
<p>I woke to Ahobri’s hand on my back. </p>
<p>I blinked, waking in an unfamiliar room, not knowing how I got here. </p>
<p>“Siobhan…” Ahobri groaned, “What the fuck was that?”</p>
<p>I sat up, running a hand down my face. My skin was hot and damp with sweat. </p>
<p>“Was I screaming or something?” I asked. </p>
<p>My head was swimming. I might still be drunk. </p>
<p>“I felt your dreams,” Ahobri said. She sounded serious. </p>
<p>“Fuck, I’m sorry,” I told her, putting an arm around her shoulders. </p>
<p>The room was light. We had slept clear through to daytime. </p>
<p>“That was unexpected,” Ahobri said, giving me a kiss. Her mouth tasted sour, like stale smoke and alcohol.</p>
<p>“Go back to sleep,” I told her, “I’ll get up and find out what’s happening today.”</p>
<p>“We’re going to talk about this later,” Ahobri said with a yawn, settling back into bed. </p>
<p>I pushed myself up. </p>
<p>We were in our bedroom. I couldn’t see anyone else in here with us. </p>
<p>I wasn’t wearing anything. I found my clothes wadded up on the floor next to the bed. </p>
<p>It looked like we had been somewhat responsible last night. I checked the pile of clothes to make sure my lightsabers were still there, hooked onto my belt. </p>
<p>I showered, pulling off the medtape - limp and wet. I examined the wound; it was scarring and scabbing; it wasn’t open and raw the way it had been last week. I decided I could live without  bandage. </p>
<p>I tugged on a loose, sleeveless shirt and a pair of leggings before padding out of the room. </p>
<p>This felt just like mornings at The Outpost. </p>
<p>People were still asleep in the common room, draped over furniture or in piles on the floor. The huge windows had the same strange tinting that I had seen on Zeltros. No one liked having their drunken sleep disturbed by the sun, sitting high in the sky.</p>
<p>The entrance doors were still open. I could hear voices down the hallway. </p>
<p>I walked the perimeter of the room, taking a side hall. At the end of the hall, a door had been left part-way open. I could hear people inside. As I got closer, I heard Ekene’s voice. </p>
<p>I approached the door and rapped on it with the back of my knuckles. </p>
<p>“Taking visitors?” I asked. </p>
<p>“Come on in,” Ekene called. </p>
<p>He had the master suite - an enormous room with a huge canopied bed, the floor raised in two tiers. There were paintings on the walls, and sculptures on stone platforms. </p>
<p>Ekene was sitting up in bed. I spotted a shock of blue hair between the covers. The blonde was in Ekene’s arms. From what I could see, both men were shirtless. </p>
<p>I couldn’t remember either of the men’s names. </p>
<p>I took a seat on the bed, flopping backwards. There was more than enough room for four. </p>
<p>“Did you feel my dreams last night?” I asked Ekene. </p>
<p>He smiled, confused by my question, “No. Why?” he asked. </p>
<p>“Just had weird dreams,” I said, not wanting to talk about it in front of the two other men. </p>
<p>“Is Ahobri still in bed?” Ekene asked. </p>
<p>“Yeah,” I answered, pushing myself upright, “We were up for over two days. She deserves some sleep.”</p>
<p>“Well, I’ve been up for a while, and I was thinking about breakfast,” Ekene said. He reached for a bottle on his bedside table. He took a swig before leaning forward, passing it to me, “I think you and I should have a conversation.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I agree,” I said, taking a deep pull of the fiery liquer. </p>
<p>Ekene gently kicked the two men out of his room. No one was wearing clothes. They unselfconsciously got out of bed and went in search of clothes. </p>
<p>He put in an order for food from a console built into the table next to his bed and motioned for me to come over. </p>
<p>I rested my head in his lap. Ekene began idly running his fingers through my hair, spreading it out neatly over the blankets. </p>
<p>“How’d you get that?” he asked, tracing a finger over the fresh scar on my shoulder. </p>
<p>“Ren,” I answered. </p>
<p>Ekene’s eyes narrowed in concern. “What happened?”</p>
<p>I sighed. “Well, what happened is Ymir ordered me back to Starkiller Base to train with Ren and his Knights,” I began. </p>
<p>Ekene’s expression drew in.</p>
<p>“Yeah, Ren hasn’t been too fond of me recently. Me and his Knights, we’re all travelling up to the Kyber caves, and Ren decides we should have a sparring match.”</p>
<p>Ekene frowned, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Of course he did.”</p>
<p>“I wasn’t about to let him kick my ass in front of his crew,” I continued, “So I’m fighting well. I’m pushing him back. He knows he’s going to lose, so he decides to land a blow.”</p>
<p>Ekene took my hand. </p>
<p>“It’s okay. I still won,” I said with a sharp smile, “I got a good shot on his leg. Ymir had to reassign him from going in with ground troops on that thing they’re doing in Ado.”</p>
<p>Ekene was fighting a smile, “Good on you,” he said, “What do you think of his Knights?”</p>
<p>“Yuri is a real sweetheart,” I began. </p>
<p>A couple of service droids came in to set up the room for breakfast. </p>
<p>“That boy has always had a good head on his shoulders,” Ekene said, “I have no idea where he gets it from. I don’t know what Ren and Adram would do without him.”</p>
<p>“Adram’s a stuck-up little asshole,” I added. </p>
<p>Ekene snorted, “He’s hopelessly in love with Ren. I don’t know if you noticed that.”</p>
<p>“I kinda guessed. Ren talked with me a bit. I learned more about their time at Luke’s Academy,” I said, “Where do the other ones come from? I met Thalin, and he said Ymir recruited him.”</p>
<p>“It’s all part of Ymir’s goal of starting a Sith Empire,” Ekene said, bitterness in his voice, “He’s scooped up people as he’s travelled, or found them inside the First Order’s ranks. That’s where the rest of the Knights come from. It’s basically an extended interview to be part of the Superior General’s guard.”</p>
<p>I thought of those crimson-plated soldiers, and the man that I had killed. </p>
<p>Ekene picked up the bottle, taking a swig before passing it to me, “Let’s eat something.”</p>
<p>He climbed naked out of bed and pulled on his robe from the night before, loosely cinching it around his waist. </p>
<p>We took our seats at the table. We had eggs, meat, and sweets. </p>
<p>I discovered that I was ravenous. I had been taking Blue pretty regularly, so I hadn’t been eating, and now my appetite had caught up to me. </p>
<p>“I want to know more about what’s been happening with you. I’m still surprised Lord Ymir has you stationed on The Finalizer,” Ekene said. </p>
<p>“Yeah, me too,” I replied, stabbing at a syrupy cake, “The Finalizer is fucking awful.”</p>
<p>Ekene barked a laugh, “I’ve missed you so much.”</p>
<p>I frowned, “I’m just not cut out for the military,” I said, pausing to chew, “I wasn’t a good soldier for the Resistance, and it’s not any better with the First Order.” </p>
<p>I paused again, deciding to open up to Ekene, “I just found out Hux is spreading rumors about me. He got Phasma all worked up. She started a fucking fight with me, right before this last mission I had.”</p>
<p>“Hux thinks he’s so clever,” Ekene replied, taking a bite, “Do you know what he’s saying about you?”</p>
<p>“Oh, the usual,” I replied, “He finally figured out that Ren and I were fucking, and I think he told Phasma. She went on a fucking rampage in my hangar. I had called one of the conscripts over to help do some maintenance on Rosie. We were hanging out, enjoying a few beers after we finished the work.”</p>
<p>Ekene gave me a droll look. </p>
<p>I continued, “Phasma just barges over and starts giving me a hard time. She all but said I slept my way into my position. So I had to put her in her place.”</p>
<p>“Well, I can overlook the obvious, that you did sleep your way into the position that first night,” Ekene teased. </p>
<p>I snorted. </p>
<p>“I think Phasma is sweet on Ren,” Ekene continued, “So it probably broke her heart to find out from Hux.”</p>
<p>“She can fucking have him,” I glowered, “I am so sick of his baanthashit.”</p>
<p>Ekene laughed, eyes crinkling for a moment. Then he switched topics, “Siobhan, why did you bring that lovely Twi’lek girl here?”</p>
<p>“Huh?” </p>
<p>“You’re keeping me on my toes with this one. But I think I’m putting it together,” Ekene said, gesturing with his utensil, “You took Ren out to the brothel where you used to work. Then you asked me to help your old boss, Madame, get a contract with the First Order. N, now you’re here with this girl, and she knows your a Sith. She knows she met Kylo Ren. What the fuck are you thinking?”</p>
<p>“I’m building a crew of my own,” I said defiantly, meeting Ekene’s eyes, “Ren gets his Knights. I want my own fucking people.”</p>
<p>That wasn’t what Ekene expected to hear from me. </p>
<p>I continued, not backing down, “I’m hiring a pilot. I’m going to get a new ship, and, eventually, I want a house of my own.” </p>
<p>Ekene smiled, putting a large dark hand over mine, “You’re growing up right before my eyes,” he teased. </p>
<p>I made a surly frown in response. </p>
<p>“Look, I’m proud of you, Siobhan,” Ekene said, more sincerely now, “You should have a place of your own.”</p>
<p>“Thanks, Ekene.”</p>
<p>He took his hand back, fixing me with a playful look, “I did mean that about Ahobri, she is absolutely delightful,” he said, “What’s your situation with her?”</p>
<p>I raised my eyebrows, “Are you asking if you can make a pass at my friend?” I teased, stabbing at a piece of fruit on my plate. </p>
<p>“I am,” Ekene said with a grin. </p>
<p>“That’s all up to her, just mind your manners,” I replied with a wink. </p>
<p>Ekene was absolutely Ahobri’s type - tall, handsome, and mostly a gentleman. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>After our breakfast, Ekene began rounding up a yacht party. </p>
<p>I woke Ahobri up and sat with her while she had breakfast. While she ate, attendants scurried around the room putting together our things. I asked one of them to track down a swimsuit for me. Ahobri had one packed. </p>
<p>“This is fucking incredible,” Ahobri said, her plate piled high with fruit and sweets. </p>
<p>I had opened a bottle of wine and was drinking steadily. </p>
<p>“Have you been out on Ekene’s yacht before?” she asked. </p>
<p>I shook my head, “I didn’t even know he had one, but it doesn’t surprise me.”</p>
<p>“Ekene is so nice,” Ahobri went on, chewing while she talked, “I thought these people would be colder, but he really made me feel welcome.”</p>
<p>“He’s taken a shine to you,” I said, lazily circling a finger around the rim of my glass. </p>
<p>“No!” Ahobri replied, thinking I was making fun of her. </p>
<p>“Okay, don’t believe me,” I said with a shrug, “We’re about to spend all day on his yacht, so get back to me in a few hours.”</p>
<p>It was sunny and warm outside. After Ahobri ate, we got dressed for the day. </p>
<p>For now, I borrowed a one-piece from Ahobri. It was a black linen thing, with a halter neck and wide legs. I pulled a gauzy blue and purple robe over it. It had wide bell sleeves and a lacy white fringe at the hems. </p>
<p>Ahobri was dressed in white, a small bandeau with a gold decoration in the center. She had a white and gold sarong tied around her waist. I secured her headtails in two elegant loops, wrapped in white fabric. </p>
<p>We both wore large earrings and bangles at our wrists. </p>
<p>My lightsabers would stay in the hotel for the day. </p>
<p>Ahobri pulled out her neatly-organized box of intoxicants. She had a collection of pills, powders, and tiny vials with colored liquids inside. </p>
<p>“What should I bring?” she asked. </p>
<p>I picked up a couple of the vials, trying to remember what each color did. </p>
<p>“Oh, let’s show these people a fun time,” I said, picking out a few different baggies and dropping them into Ahobri’s purse. </p>
<p>We cut out a couple lines of Blue on one of the tables, just as Ekene dropped by our open door. </p>
<p>He strolled in, completely unbothered, “What’s that?” he asked, looking at the powder. </p>
<p>I sniffed my line, passing the silver straw to Ekene, “It’s called Blue. It’s a stimulant,” I said, cutting out a fresh bump for him to try. </p>
<p>Ekene knelt on the floor next to us, and sniffed up his hit. </p>
<p>“There’s more, if you like it,” I told him, “We were planning on bringing some goodies to the yacht.”</p>
<p>Ekene was looking better. He had shaved, and his eyes were less puffy. He was dressed in loose summer robes, in white and pastel green. </p>
<p>He grinned at me as the first wave of the drug lit up his brain, “I’ll let you know. Are you ladies ready? The shuttle just arrived.”</p>
<p>Ahobri sniffed up her hit, “I can’t wait to see this yacht,” she said, rubbing her nose. </p>
<p>“It’s nothing special,” Ekene said, “But it’ll get us to the falls.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Our group took shuttles from the hotel out to the yacht. </p>
<p>We landed on the coast, right at the edge of the city. Servants escorted us from the landing pad to a large, exclusive marina. </p>
<p>The yacht was gorgeous. Ekene had played it down, but it was the largest and fanciest boat in the marina. It was over one hundred meters long, with six tiered decks. </p>
<p>The party was already underway by the time we arrived, Ekene having invited a couple hundred of his closest friends. We arrived in the middle of the pack. There was a band playing on the main deck. </p>
<p>Ekene gave Ahobri and me a tour of the yacht, making introductions along the way. I remembered some of the people from the previous night. </p>
<p>It was another hour before everyone on the guest-list arrived. We spent our time drinking and schmoozing. </p>
<p>I liked Ekene’s friends. They were vain and easily impressed. I liked how their eyes slid along me, trying to figure out what to make of the girl with the scar on her face and tattoos on her forearm - the girl being introduced as Sith Acolyte of the First Order. </p>
<p>I made them feel nervous, and that made them more interested. </p>
<p>I dipped in and out of the conversations, enjoying the wind in my hair, looking out over the azure blue waves. </p>
<p>For a moment, I remembered what it had felt like to see water after my training on Korriban. </p>
<p>Ekene was making sure Ahobri was welcomed into his circle. She loved the attention. I watched how she smiled and touched his forearm as he joked with her. </p>
<p>Finally, the whole group was aboard. We set off, headed north along the coast. </p>
<p>The party kicked up a level. </p>
<p>As we cruised, slow and powerful through the ocean waves, the band on the main deck switched to dance music. People were drinking in earnest. </p>
<p>I took Ahobri’s hand, swaying together, barefoot on the sun-warmed wood floors. We took shots with the other dancers around us. </p>
<p>People began to find me more approachable after that. </p>
<p>Ekene took Ahobri for a few songs. His hand was at her low back, guiding her smoothly across the floor. </p>
<p>I danced with a handsome Togruta named Komo. Then a tall Chagrian woman with black tattoos took my hand. </p>
<p>Ekene joined me for a few songs, dancing close. </p>
<p>I liked the feeling of his large hand on my low back, the way he led me through the songs. </p>
<p>After a couple of hours, we arrived at the falls. </p>
<p>They really were magnificent. </p>
<p>The northern coast was all steep white-stone cliffs. A section of the river wound up towards them, where it had carved out a cove with a huge waterfall. The falls rose over two hundred meters high, and four hundred meters across. </p>
<p>I stood, leaning against the railing, listening to the roar of the tumbling water, watching the billowing mist. A shimmering rainbow was reflecting in the low sunlight. </p>
<p>We had woken up in the late afternoon, and now it was close to sunset. </p>
<p>The captain steered the yacht into the cove, giving us a gorgeous view of the falls, then we circled out closer to the bay and people began getting into the water. I heard splashing and shouts from the back of the boat, and went to check out the action.</p>
<p>The hotel attendants had tracked down a simple black two-piece suit. I had a band around my chest, and an adorable pair of shorts on the bottom. I kept Ahobri’s purple robe wrapped around me, fluttering in the ocean wind.  </p>
<p>I found Ahobri in one of the smaller tubs on the main deck. She had a neon-colored drink in hand, and was having a conversation with another Twi’lek girl and an elegant bronze-toned Ghalla. </p>
<p>“I’m going swimming,” I told her, planting a kiss on her cheek. </p>
<p>“That’s nice,” Ahobri said, deflecting. </p>
<p>“Come with me,” I urged her. </p>
<p>“Gods no,” Ahobri said with a laugh, “I’m not swimming in the ocean.” </p>
<p>Artrix’s ocean was polluted, and full of animals that bit and stung.</p>
<p>“It’s not like Artrix,” I said, “Look at that water.” I gestured out at the gentle azure-blue waves. </p>
<p>Ahobri shook her head, “No way. I’m staying right here.” she wiggled her toes, peeking above the surface of the shallow pool. To solidify things, she took a long sip of her drink. </p>
<p>“Suit yourself,” I said with a grin and another kiss, and made my way to the back of the boat. </p>
<p>When I arrived on the back deck, I spotted attendants preparing ocean speeders. </p>
<p>Ekene was in the water, paddling around with a group of people. </p>
<p>“Siobhan!” he called out, waving to me. </p>
<p>I grinned as an idea crossed my mind. I shucked off the robe and jewelry, leaving them on a deck chair. I ran for the railing and launched myself over it, leaping out over the water. </p>
<p>I landed with a big splash, plunging several meters beneath the surface.</p>
<p>For a moment, everything was peaceful. </p>
<p>I opened my eyes. The light was fading, but the water was crystal clear and shimmering around me. I could see people’s legs and feet above, kicking slowly as they tread water. </p>
<p>I <i>reached</i> into the ocean, even as my body rose, pushing up to the surface. I <i>extended</i> myself into the deep blue space. </p>
<p>My head broke through the waves, and I pulled air into my lungs, dramatically flipping my hair from my face. </p>
<p>Ekene paddled over to me, “Where’d you learn that?” he asked with a wide smile. </p>
<p>“Me and my brother grew up jumping off rocks into the river, behind our house,” I answered, running my hand down my face.</p>
<p>A few more people went after me, making loud splashy entrances into the ocean. </p>
<p>Eventually, enough people came to the back of the boat for Ahobri to be interested. </p>
<p>By that time, I was on one of the water-speeders, zipping around in the waves. There were twenty speeders total, enough for anyone interested to get a turn. </p>
<p>We raced through the cove, kicking up water. </p>
<p>I pulled up near the boat, having a conversation with Ahobri, from her place on the bench. </p>
<p>She didn’t express any interest in the water speeders until Ekene invited her on the back of his. </p>
<p>She loved it.</p>
<p>I loved the smile on her face, her delighted screams as Ekene took her around the cove, kicking up water. Ahobri held onto his waist, her chin against his shoulder. </p>
<p>We zipped around the cove, enjoying the sunset, the reflection of orange and pink light on the waves and the waterfall. </p>
<p>It had been so long since I had been able to just have fun. </p>
<p>I wasn’t thinking about my assignment, or training. I wasn’t thinking about Ymir, Ren, Snoke, and Raj. </p>
<p>For these hours, all that existed was Ahobri, Ekene, the sky, and the waves. </p>
<p>After sunset, most of the people returned to the yacht. </p>
<p>A different phase of the party began. </p>
<p>We had been drinking steadily all day, loose and carefree. </p>
<p>As night fell, the party began to grow much more romantic. </p>
<p>Attendants set out a canopy of lights over the main deck - twinkling and golden. </p>
<p>The music kicked back up. </p>
<p>People were in their swimsuits, hair wet, elated after spending the evening in the water. </p>
<p>I had maintained a strong buzz for the afternoon, feeling giddy and confident. Now, most people were moving towards outright drunkenness. </p>
<p>Ekene was close. The men from last night were hanging around, but it was becoming clear that he only had eyes for Ahobri now. </p>
<p>Ahobri began to share bumps of Euphoria with our crowd. I watched Ekene take a sniff of orange powder off her green hand. </p>
<p>I was nearby as they had their first kiss; Ekene’s hand was at the back of Ahobri’s head, their lips parting. I thought I heard her moan. </p>
<p>We were on the dancefloor together for hours. </p>
<p>People were grinding now, making out as they swayed together. On the sidelines, most people were paired up on seats and benches, sitting in laps. </p>
<p>At one point, Ahobri and I were dancing together, my arms over her shoulders, foreheads pressed together. </p>
<p>“Siobhan… I don’t know what to do with Ekene,” Ahobri said, her voice low and sweet. </p>
<p>“You should do what you want to do,” I said, lips brushing her cheek. </p>
<p>“But, Lord Ymir…” she whispered. </p>
<p>“They’re broken up,” I said, “And you wouldn’t be the only person he’s fucked over the past few days.”</p>
<p>“He has his eye on you, too,” Ahobri said, “Have you ever…?”</p>
<p>I shook my head, “I haven’t. Do you want me there? I don’t want to get in your way.”</p>
<p>“I always want you with me,” Ahobri whispered pressing her full lips to mine. </p>
<p>It was that time of the night. </p>
<p>People were disappearing into rooms, or sloppily making out on the decks. </p>
<p>Ekene, Ahobri, and I had more to drink, more bumps of Euphoria. </p>
<p>The yacht had begun moving again, slowly headed southbound. </p>
<p>We watched the stars come out, glittering overhead. The breeze felt like poetry across my skin, sending goosebumps across my arms and a thrill down my spine. </p>
<p>Ahobri was sitting in Ekene’s lap. He had his arm around her waist. Every now and then he moved his hand lower to squeeze her ass. I sat next to him, our thighs touching, looking out over the water and sky. </p>
<p>“Do you ever just listen to the stars?” Ekene asked me. </p>
<p>Ahobri tilted her head at the strange question. </p>
<p>I felt Ekene <i>reach</i> for me with a tendril of his hazy energy. We joined in the Force. </p>
<p>I leaned my head against his shoulder. </p>
<p>“Sometimes I can feel it so clearly,” Ekene said, his voice was far away. </p>
<p>We extended our awareness together, rushing across the water, rising above the atmosphere. I could feel the stars, twirling on their steady paths through the universe. </p>
<p>“It’s beautiful,” I whispered, and Ekene was drawing me to him for a kiss. </p>
<p>My head was swirling with alcohol and Euphoria. </p>
<p>Ekene was gentle with me, our lips parting, tongues exploring. </p>
<p>He sighed, shoulders sloping. </p>
<p>When he broke from me, he began to kiss Ahobri, held in his arms. </p>
<p>I took a place on his other thigh, kissing his neck. </p>
<p>This time, I heard Ekene moan. </p>
<p>He parted from Ahobri, almost dazed, his arms around us, “Ahobri, Siobhan, can I take you both to my room?” he asked with a giddy bark of a laugh. </p>
<p>“Yes,” we both replied with fuzzy grins. </p>
<p>Ahobri was down to her white swimsuit. Ekene was in his robes and short trunks, already tenting in front. </p>
<p>We clambered our way below decks, laughing, stopping to kiss in the halls. </p>
<p>People moved past us. We heard moans, shouts, and laughter behind closed doors. </p>
<p>Inside Ekene’s rooms, he scooped us up in his large arms, and dropped us into his bed, just as large and luxurious as the one in the hotel. </p>
<p>Ekene turned on the lights and climbed in after us on his knees, growling and hungry. </p>
<p>We kissed, removing the little clothing we still had on. </p>
<p>Ekene was hard. He was big and smooth-shaven. I ran my hand over his length, gripping the base of his cock. </p>
<p>I was already wet, imagining how he would feel inside of me. </p>
<p>Ahobri was starting to stroke him and he sighed, head leaning back into the bed. </p>
<p>Ekene scooped Ahobri up, rolling her beneath him, kissing her as he grabbed her breasts. He reached out an arm to me, pulling me over to them.</p>
<p>“I have been so curious about you for so long, Siobhan,” Ekene said, his eyes clouded with lust. </p>
<p>His fingertips were tugging at the barbells in my nipples. </p>
<p>Ahobri sat up, sliding her hand over my thigh, in between my legs. </p>
<p>I moaned and gasped under the attention. Ahobri was moving to straddle my face. </p>
<p>Ekene watched how her hips bucked against my tongue. Then I felt his fingers sliding inside of me, curling inside my wetness. </p>
<p>Ahobri shouted and cried out as I increased my tempo, and I could feel Ekene’s desire rising. </p>
<p>He slid his fingers from me, moving close to Ahobri, asking before he slid his fingers into her mouth. Ekene watched her suck on his fingers. I heard her muffled moans as I lapped at her.</p>
<p>Then the two of them were tangling together. Ekene was on top of Ahobri, positioning his thick cock between her legs - his hand planted on Ahobri’s thigh, pushing her leg back. </p>
<p>They both cried out as he sank into her, pushing inside with a slow rhythm. His locs swayed freely around his shoulders. I watched how the muscles in his shoulders and arms moved as he held himself above her. </p>
<p>I curled around Ahobri, stroking her sensitive headtails, listening to the sounds her and Ekene made together.  </p>
<p>Ahobri had been right on the edge of orgasm when I was licking her. Now, with Ekene filling her hips, moving in a steady rocking motion, she wouldn’t last long. </p>
<p>Her cries became more regular, growing louder, until she let out a long shout and curled forward into Ekene, gushing and shaking under him. </p>
<p>He let out a satisfied growl, continuing his slow steady pace, drawing her along. I could feel the way he <i>reached</i> for Ahobri, feeling the way her body responded to his touch, knowing exactly what she needed to keep going. </p>
<p>“Ekene!” she gasped, arms wrapping around his shoulders, legs around his waist. </p>
<p>Ekene laughed, an elated sound as he pleased her, his hand travelling under her ass, gripping her tightly. </p>
<p>“Ekene!” Ahobri said, more urgently, eyes squeezing shut. </p>
<p>Ekene began to thrust more quickly, moving deeper inside of her. I lay back on the bed, listening, <i>reaching</i> towards them. </p>
<p>I was so used to being on-guard, making sure no one could reach into my aura. I let out a low, satisfied hum as I felt Ahobri and Ekene, leaving myself open to him. </p>
<p>Ahobri shouted again as a second orgasm washed through her. </p>
<p>“You have another one,” Ekene said, his voice low and playful as he kissed her. </p>
<p>Ahobri was panting. I noticed the tremble in her legs. </p>
<p>“I want to be on top,” she said, breathlessly. </p>
<p>Ekene rolled over, smoothly keeping himself inside of her. </p>
<p>“Siobhan, let me taste you,” Ekene said. </p>
<p>Our bodies joined. </p>
<p>Ekene’s tongue slid between my lips. My knees were planted by his ears. He circled my clit, moaning as Ahobri rode him. </p>
<p>She could feel how we were connected - that added layer of awareness that Ekene and I had. She was making deep, throaty moans as Ekene thrust inside of her. The pleasure was mutual, building. </p>
<p>Ekene was working magic with his tongue. I was hot and wet, aching for release. He stoked my pleasure, feeling the wave he was building inside of me. </p>
<p>I was the first to come, collapsing against Ahobri as she was riding his cock. That set her off, and she was orgasming for a third time. </p>
<p>I moved off Ekene so he could catch his breath and focus. He was gripping Ahobri’s hips, thrusting harder and deeper into her now. </p>
<p>I left the bed. I took a bottle of whiskey from the liquor cabinet and had a long pull. </p>
<p>Ahobri was crying out as she bounced up and down on him. </p>
<p>I loved hearing Ekene’s growls and moans as he got closer. </p>
<p>“Gods!” he shouted, eyes squeezing shut as he came, pumping his hips upwards, his hands gripping Ahobri’s thighs. </p>
<p>Ahobri was kissing him as he sank into the bed, arms flopping down at his side, pulling grateful breaths into his lungs. </p>
<p>I took a cross-legged seat on the bed. Ahobri was snuggled against his chest, making satisfied, mewling sounds. </p>
<p>I took another deep pull from the bottle before passing it to Ekene, then to Ahobri. </p>
<p>“Well, darling,” Ahobri said, giving Ekene a kiss, “I feel like a queen.”</p>
<p>We continued to drink and do more bumps of Euphoria. </p>
<p>The night became a jumbled tangle. </p>
<p>Ahobri and I were laughing and dancing together, exploring our bodies, putting on a show for Ekene as he sat at the end of the bed, watching us. </p>
<p>I felt his attention shift to me. He reached a greedy arm out, pulling me to him, both of us naked, pressed skin to skin. As we kissed, a world bloomed behind our closed eyelids. Euphoria and alcohol left us completely open to each other and I swam in sensation, that shared space of the Force. </p>
<p>“I want to feel you, girl,” he growled, biting my lower lip. But Ekene wasn’t like Ren. It was passion without violence. </p>
<p>I straddled Ekene’s lap, taking his cock inside of me, moaning as he filled me. Ahobri was behind Ekene on the bed, kissing his neck, her fingertips teasing his nipples. </p>
<p>We thrust and rocked together. I was dizzy, both of us <i>reaching</i> for one another. </p>
<p>Ymir was the overwhelming presence in Ekene’s thoughts. With our minds open to each other, I could feel the mark Ymir had left on him. The years of dominance and command, Ekene’s complete love and submission to him. </p>
<p>There was something else - a jagged edge to the feeling. </p>
<p>I felt a spark of anger and pride as he fucked me. As he fucked Ymir’s student. </p>
<p>“You like that?” I sneered, making a show of defiance, “You like knowing that you’ve fucked me, before you see him one last time?”</p>
<p>Ahobri gave me a surprised look, brown eyes widening at the sudden taunt. </p>
<p>Ekene had his hands on my ass, gripping me tightly thrusting even more deeply. I cried out with pleasure as he filled me. </p>
<p>I <i>reached</i> for Ekene, I felt his desire to surrender, the same as mine. There was fire in my chest. I shared the feeling with Ekene, my hand at the back of his neck, our foreheads pressed together. </p>
<p>He was panting. </p>
<p>“I can give you what you want,” I growled, “Will you surrender to me?”</p>
<p>“Yes…” he said, his voice soft. </p>
<p>I swiftly climbed off of him, leaving his cock wet and jutting into the air, “Stay there.”  </p>
<p>He gasped, his eyes squeezing shut.</p>
<p>“Ahobri, keep him occupied,” I ordered, “Ekene was using me just now. I think he needs a little punishment for that.”</p>
<p>Ahobri knelt on the floor between his legs, taking him into her mouth. She dragged her tongue along him, bobbing on his head, teasing him.</p>
<p>Ekene sighed, his head falling back.  </p>
<p>“You’re not allowed to come again until I say so,” I said, crawling across the bed, looking through his nightstand. </p>
<p>He had to have restraints somewhere. </p>
<p>I was elated - alcohol and Euphoria making me feel like a goddess. I rummaged through the panels, finding lube and toys of all kinds. Then I found a set of handcuffs. </p>
<p>I returned to Ekene. I was behind him, running my hands down his shoulders and arms, kissing his neck. </p>
<p>“You’ll sit here at the end of the bed, until I tell you to move,” I began, opening the cuffs, “You can ask my permission to come, but you aren’t allowed to come until I tell you. Do you understand?”</p>
<p>“Yes…” Ekene said. His voice was faint with need and lust. </p>
<p>I secured his arms behind his back, <i>reaching</i> into him, feeling the peace and freedom as he gave himself over to Ahobri and me. </p>
<p>I brought my left hand around his throat. The kisses on his neck became soft bites, my teeth gently pressing into his skin. </p>
<p>His sighs lengthened into moans. </p>
<p>Surrender. </p>
<p>I could feel the way his body was responding. Ahobri was so sweet between his legs, drawing pleasure from him. </p>
<p>With my awareness open, I felt how his thoughts of pleasure turned to thoughts of Ymir and loss. I tightened my grip on Ekene’s throat, and he gasped.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Stay right here with me.</p>
</blockquote><p>I commanded. </p>
<p>“Yes…” Ekene said, his head leaning back. </p>
<p>I played with his nipples, running my fingertips over the sensitive skin until they hardened. </p>
<p>Ekene leaned against me. </p>
<p>In this place, his desire was my desire. Kneeling behind him, I was dripping wet. </p>
<p>With Ahobri swallowing Ekene’s cock, I felt him rising towards orgasm. </p>
<p>“Slow down,” I told Ahobri. </p>
<p>Ekene let out a long low moan. </p>
<p>“You have to wait,” I said, a whisper in his ear. </p>
<p>I was pushing through his barriers, the hurt and pain that clouded his mind. </p>
<p>Twice more he got close, and twice more I told Ahobri to back off. </p>
<p>I wanted to make sure he was entirely in the moment. </p>
<p>I put <i>pressure</i> on his throat and his mind, the world shrinking to just the sensations in his body. </p>
<p>Ekene gasped beneath me. I could feel the urgency in him, the desperation, the raw physical need. </p>
<p>With our minds connected this way, it felt as close as my own desire. </p>
<p>I was connected to his body, the tightness in his belly, the air in his lungs, the almost-painful hardness between his legs... </p>
<p>“Come. Now,” I ordered, my voice a soft command in his ear. </p>
<p>Ekene’s jaw was tight, his eyes closed, bucking into Ahobri’s mouth as she swallowed him. </p>
<p>I felt my own orgasm wash across me - a strange, empty, trembling sensation, tied completely to Ekene. </p>
<p>Ahobri gradually gave him time to come down, continuing to gently bob and stroke his cock. </p>
<p>When he was done, I undid the handcuffs. Ekene pulled Ahobri to him, kissing her deeply. </p>
<p>We collapsed in a sweaty tangle on the bed, laughing giddily, covering each other in kisses. </p>
<p>Ekene kissed me last, “Thank you,” he said, his voice distant. </p>
<p>We fell asleep, Ekene between us as he spooned Ahobri. </p>
<p>
  <b>IV</b>
</p>
<p>The next day when I woke up, misery had replaced all the joy from the night before. </p>
<p>My head was pounding. My mouth was dry, a sour salty taste on the back of my tongue. </p>
<p>Ekene was sitting on the edge of the bed, still naked, his elbows resting heavily on his thighs. </p>
<p>“Euphoria is a bitch the next day,” I groaned, pushing myself up. </p>
<p>Ahobri was sleeping peacefully in the middle of the bed. She was snoring softly, her mouth slack. </p>
<p>Ekene turned to me. There was a bone-deep tiredness in his eyes, “We should talk, alone.”</p>
<p>He was right. </p>
<p>I wanted a hit of Blue, but I wasn’t going down that road again. I had been taking it regularly for days. I needed to quit while I was ahead. </p>
<p>“Can we drink?” I asked. </p>
<p>“Sure,” Ekene replied, stiffly rising to his feet. </p>
<p>My swimsuit was the only clothing of mine that had made it into Ekene’s room. He lent me a tunic that swallowed me, draping off my hands and going down almost to my thighs. I rolled up the sleeves. He gave me a short robe to wear over the shirt. I rolled up a second set of sleeves. </p>
<p>Ekene pulled on a simple black robe and sandals. </p>
<p>I grabbed a bottle of clear liquor, taking a large gulp of it. </p>
<p>We left his room together. </p>
<p>The entire yacht had that stale after-party feeling. The boat felt emptier. </p>
<p>On the main deck, we were greeted by clouds and a tugging, urgent wind. </p>
<p>We were parked in the marina where we had started. It looked like most of the party had broken up. There were a few people passed out on deckchairs and benches, in various stages of undress. </p>
<p>Ekene and I walked past them, leaving the boat. We headed down to the beach, taking swigs from the neck of the bottle, gritting our teeth at the sharp taste. </p>
<p>The clouds had made the sky dim. The water was a darker shade of blue. The wind pulled at my hair, pushing it across my face. It felt like a storm was rolling in. </p>
<p>I pulled the robe more tightly around me, but I enjoyed the feeling of soft white sand beneath my feet. </p>
<p>Ekene was unusually quiet, looking ahead, slowly walking down the beach. </p>
<p>“So what did you want to talk about? I can think of a few things,” I said, passing him the bottle. </p>
<p>Ekene took a deep swig. </p>
<p>“Ymir arrives tomorrow,” he said. “How long were you planning on being here?”</p>
<p>This felt like a trap. </p>
<p>I decided to tell him my plans, “Ymir told me he’d be here in a couple of days. I wanted to have a meeting with him, y’know, about my crew and my house. He said we could do that after he arrived.”</p>
<p>Ekene laughed, it was an angry, bitter sound. His expression curled into a snarl, “Oh, he said he’d have a meeting with you?”</p>
<p>“What’s the matter?” I asked, putting a gentle hand on Ekene’s back. </p>
<p>He pushed his locs back, away from his face. He shook his head, a grim set to his jaw. “I’m going to ask you to leave first thing tomorrow morning, before Lord Ymir arrives, and I’ll give you two reasons,” Ekene began. </p>
<p>He was angry, but it didn’t feel like he was angry at me. </p>
<p>“Lord Ymir is returning to the Estate because we’re dividing up our assets and property that have become entangled over the past nine years,” Ekene couldn’t stop from sneering, “I’ll also be signing over Donnall Extraction to the First Order…”</p>
<p>Ekene had the bleak matter-of-factness of someone who couldn’t change their situation. </p>
<p>“Ekene, I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” I said, giving him a sympathetic look. </p>
<p>“I know you didn’t,” he said, squeezing my hand, “I’m just offended that Ymir said he would meet with you while he and I are going through all this… but that’s the problem isn’t it?”</p>
<p>“What changed? What happened with you two?” I asked. </p>
<p>Ekene shook his head, “Not yet,” he said, “The next few days are going to be very personal, and I don’t want you around for it.”</p>
<p>“I understand. Of course, I’ll go.”</p>
<p>“I’m still going to give you a second reason,” Ekene said. He took the bottle from me and tilting it up, then wiped his mouth and handed it to me. “Were you planning on introducing Ahobri to Ymir on this trip?”</p>
<p>This question also made me feel like I was walking into a trap, “Uh, well, I just hired her. I need her help with these deals I’m making, so yeah, I don’t think I can do this without Ymir meeting her eventually.”</p>
<p>Ekene shook his head again, “I don’t pretend to fully understand your relationship with Ymir. But I am constantly baffled by your trust in him.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” I asked sharply, anger rising. </p>
<p>“Listen. You do not want Lord Ymir interacting with Ahobri,” Ekene cautioned. </p>
<p>I wanted to argue with him, but I couldn’t find anything to say. </p>
<p>“Just shut up, and listen to me,” Ekene said, getting in front of my protest. </p>
<p>He met my eyes with a hard look and I backed down. </p>
<p>“Lord Ymir will use anything and anyone to his advantage,” Ekene said, his voice hard, “If you introduce her to Ymir, he is going to get inside her head. He will manipulate her. If you let him see how important she is to you, then he will use that against you, and Ahobri will get hurt.”</p>
<p>Tears were leaking out the corners of my eyes, feeling cold in the wind. I pulled my arms across my chest, feeling my head hanging, Jukhara’s words kept coming back to haunt me. </p>
<p>“I don’t know what your plan was,” Ekene continued, “It sounds like you’ve brought this girl on without any discussion with Lord Ymir. That’s not going to be an easy hole to climb out of.”</p>
<p>Ekene paused, turning to me. He took my hands, meeting my eyes, “Siobhan, you are smarter than this. You must be smarter than this.”</p>
<p>Suddenly, I felt very small. I looked away from him, fat hot tears running down my cheeks. I sniffled, gulping for air, trying to calm down. </p>
<p>Ekene wrapped me into a tight hug, “You’ve survived things I don’t think I could, Siobhan,” he said, running his hand down my back, “But you are on a completely different playing field now, and you need to adjust to that.”</p>
<p>He released me from the hug with his hands still planted on my shoulders. There was a slight ache as his hand rested on top of my scar. </p>
<p>“What contact have you had with Rajendra and the Superior General?”</p>
<p>“Nothing,” I lied. </p>
<p>Ekene stared at me. </p>
<p>My aura was cloaked now, and he didn’t have the same connection to the Force. There was no way for him to know. </p>
<p>He nodded slowly, accepting my answer. He was reminding me what the stakes were. I was at the top of the First Order. I was strong enough to have the attention of Snoke and Raj. They wanted to use me in their plot. </p>
<p>Ekene took the bottle from me and took another pull, “I like you, Siobhan,” he said, turning us to start the walk back to the yacht, “I think I like your friend even more. But I like you and I’m willing to help you.”</p>
<p>I grinned and accepted the bottle from him. </p>
<p>“You need to learn, or these people will keep using you for their own purposes,” he said, staring off ahead of him. </p>
<p>I took Ekene’s hand, leaning my head against his shoulder. </p>
<p>The alcohol was taking full effect and I was feeling soft and fuzzy around the edges. </p>
<p>“Thank you, Ekene,” I said, “I feel like I’ve been doing this all on my own. It’s good to have a friend.”</p>
<p>“You found me at just the right time,” he said, wryly, “I’ll do what I can to help smooth this situation out for you. I’m sure Ymir will ask about our time together.”</p>
<p>The yacht was in sight. We were approaching the marina. </p>
<p>“Do you want to talk about Ymir, while we still have some time alone?”</p>
<p>“Not really,” Ekene said, with a vulnerable smile. He paused and we walked silently down the beach together, “You don’t start a relationship, with a man like that, expecting it to be forever. I always knew I was second, maybe even third in his heart… but even that little sliver of love was enough to keep me going.”</p>
<p>Ekene wiped tears from his eyes, “I’ll talk to you when I’m ready, but that’s not today.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Ahobri was still asleep when we returned to the room. </p>
<p>I left to gather my thoughts and give them some space, bumming around on the upper decks, looking out over the ocean. </p>
<p>My thoughts were foggy and distracted. I kept thinking about Vin, Jukhara, Ahobri, Ymir, Snoke, and Raj - all these different people I was tangled up with. Answers and conclusions escaped me. I sat on a deck chair, hypnotized by the dark waves. </p>
<p>I returned via shuttle to the hotel. The sun was already beginning to go down. A day wasted. </p>
<p>The atmosphere on Ekene’s penthouse floor was much more subdued. People lounged on the furniture, smoking water pipes, having quiet, scattered conversations. </p>
<p>I showered and changed into better clothes, then returned to the lounge.</p>
<p>Ekene and Ahobri were nowhere to be seen, so I joined a group of actors that were talking about a play they were about to debut on Corellia. They welcomed me into the conversation. I had the feeling they wanted to impress me so I would throw the production some money, but I wasn’t in the right headspace. </p>
<p>I excused myself and napped in my room. </p>
<p>When I woke, it was dark outside. </p>
<p>Ahobri still hadn’t come back. </p>
<p>Groggily, I requested a meal and a hangover cure. My head was pounding. I felt like I was a step behind myself, watching my body go through the motions. </p>
<p>After some food and a change of clothes. I secured my belt and lightsabers around my waist and went to find a quiet spot to train. </p>
<p>Ekene and his friends had been partying for days. The magic was all used up. Everyone was tired. </p>
<p>The rooms were quiet. </p>
<p>I decided to go out on one of the terraces. </p>
<p>The stone was wet, the air was crisp and cool, smelling like the ocean. </p>
<p>I unhooked my lightsabers from my belt. I started off with simple routines, trying to sync my breath, body, and mind again. </p>
<p>Ekene’s words had hurt me. Jukhara’s words had hurt me. </p>
<p>But that didn’t make them any less true. </p>
<p>Stray tears leaked out of my eyes as I moved. I didn’t bother brushing them away. I could be sad all day, but that wouldn’t help me. It wouldn’t help Ahobri. </p>
<p>Ekene was right. I wasn’t a small-time smuggler anymore. Ymir had told me the same thing in the Kyber caves. I was playing in a different league. </p>
<p>Ahobri trusted me. I wasn’t going to betray her. </p>
<p>Slowly, my thoughts evened out. My breath, feet and arms were moving together, like a dance. The lightsaber blades hummed through the air, brilliant and green in the night. </p>
<p>I <i>reached</i> for the Darkside, the power I could feel inside my chest that extended through everything around me, every corner of the universe. </p>
<p>I moved through drills I knew by heart. My feet were cold and wet, moving across the rain-soaked stone. I saw people in the common room gathered near the windows to watch the drills. </p>
<p>Having an audience didn’t make me nervous.</p>
<p>The world fell away from me, and I found myself feeling peaceful again. </p>
<p>A door opened; Ekene and Ahobri stepped out, both wearing robes. Ekene had his arm around her shoulder.  </p>
<p>I halted, deactivating the blades. I realized that I was sweating. My breath was heaving in my chest. </p>
<p>“Keep going!” Ahobri said, “I haven’t seen this before.”</p>
<p>I grinned, taking long strides towards them. </p>
<p>“How about a little match,” I replied, looking to Ekene. </p>
<p>“A little match,” he agreed, cinching his robe more tightly around himself. </p>
<p>I passed Ekene one of my lightsabers, and we put on a flourishing show for Ahobri, who was completely in awe. </p>
<p>I could tell that Ekene was half-drunk and high on something from Ahobri’s stash. I matched his rhythm, because anything we did would look impressive. </p>
<p>There was even more of a crowd by the windows now. We did a couple of drills together, making it more of a spectacle than practice. </p>
<p>When I deactivated my lightsaber, Ahobri rushed over to me, wrapping me in a hug and kissing my cheek. “That was incredible!”</p>
<p>“You haven’t seen her spar before?” Ekene asked. </p>
<p>“No. I didn’t even think lightsabers were a real thing until a couple of days ago,” Ahobri admitted. </p>
<p>Ekene laughed, “I forget what a big place the Galaxy is. I’m sure this all sounds like a myth to most people.”</p>
<p>“It doesn’t mean anything to most people,” I said, my arm around Ahobri’s waist. </p>
<p>“Siobhan, it’s cold out here, come on in,” Ekene said. </p>
<p>I followed him and Ahobri through the balcony door into Ekene’s bedroom.</p>
<p>He opened a bottle of wine for us, and we all sat down with a glass. </p>
<p>“Ahobri, we’re leaving tomorrow,” I said. </p>
<p>We hadn’t talked much today. </p>
<p>“So soon?” Ahobri pouted, looking playfully over at Ekene. </p>
<p>“I have to go back to the real world, too,” Ekene said, “But I want to see both of you again. After the next leg of your assignment you should come out to my Estate.”</p>
<p>Of course Ekene had his own place. I had never heard him talk about it though. </p>
<p>“Thank you, Ekene” Ahobri said, kissing his cheek, arms around his shoulders.</p>
<p>“I’m going to go get some shut-eye,” I said, quickly downing the last of my wine, “Ahobri, I’ll come find you in the morning.”</p>
<p>“Love you,” she said, giving me a kiss before I left. </p>
<p>I wandered back to my room and set an alarm for 0400. </p>
<p>I flopped down on the large bed alone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’m sticking with the usual posting schedule this week so expect an update on Saturday. It’s a chapter I’ve really been looking forward to sharing :)</p>
<p>I’m planning to do a camping trip soon, so I’ll give y’all the heads up if I think I’m going to miss a post. </p>
<p>As always, thanks for following and reading this story. I love to hear from y’all in the comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Shiny and New</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Siobhan is at a crossroads. </p>
<p>Her closest friend has agreed to go into business with her, and by proxy the First Order. </p>
<p>She is starting to see that she has to adjust to her new responsibilities and position as a Sith. </p>
<p>I've been waiting to share this chapter for a while. There are lots of twists and turns as Siobhan begins to claim her position as a Sith acolyte.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>I</b>
</p>
<p>The alarm went off at 0400. </p>
<p>My body was aching for more sleep, but I had to get up. </p>
<p>Grumbling and shuffling my feet, I turned off the alarm and requested caffeine and food before going to shower. </p>
<p>Ahobri hadn’t returned to our room. That wasn’t too surprising.</p>
<p>I drank caffeine and ate while getting dressed. We were going to spend the day in hyperspace so I pulled on comfortable clothes, my poncho, and leggings. </p>
<p>I sent a request for hotel attendants to pack up the rest of our things and bring Rosie around to the landing. </p>
<p>The suite was quiet. Everyone was partied out. There were only two people in the common room, curled peacefully on the sofa. </p>
<p>Ahobri and Ekene were curled up in bed together. </p>
<p>I climbed in with them, sliding over the blankets. </p>
<p>Ekene was the first to wake, shifting and moaning in the dark. </p>
<p>“What is it?” he complained. </p>
<p>“I’m stealing Ahobri,” I said, pecking his cheek. </p>
<p>“I asked you to leave, didn’t I?” he said, propping himself up on his elbows, rubbing at his eyes, “Now I’m regretting that decision.” </p>
<p>Ahobri needed much more encouragement to wake up. I had my hand on my shoulder, gently shaking her. </p>
<p>She squeezed her eyes shut and pulled the blankets under her chin. </p>
<p>“Babe, we gotta get moving,” I told her. </p>
<p>“No…” she murmured sleepily.</p>
<p>“Want to carry her to my ship?” I asked Ekene. </p>
<p>He turned a light on next to the bed. </p>
<p>“I’ll get her up,” he said kindly. </p>
<p>“Thanks. I’ll let y’all have some time alone,” I said. </p>
<p>Ekene pulled me towards him for a hug, kissing my cheek, “I’m glad you came to visit.”</p>
<p>“Me too. I had a lot of fun.”</p>
<p>“Come out to my Estate, I have a house on Bengat,” Ekene said. </p>
<p>“I love you,” I told him. My hand was at the back of his neck, our foreheads pressed together. </p>
<p>I sent my awareness towards him, a connection point. “Good luck with all this,” I told him. </p>
<p>“Thank you,” he said. </p>
<p>When I left Ekene’s room, attendants had already cleared our things away. </p>
<p>A concierge was waiting to escort me to my ship. </p>
<p>Rosie looked terribly out of place sitting on the roof of this gorgeous hotel. </p>
<p>Clouds had settled over the city, and it was steadily drizzling. The hotel staff had set up an awning leading all the way to my ship, so not even a drop of water would touch me. </p>
<p>I couldn’t help but smile. </p>
<p>I made myself another cup of caffeine in the cargo bay before heading to the cockpit to warm my engines up and check my comms. </p>
<p>Ymir thought I’d be staying at his Estate, so I needed to let him know I was leaving. I didn’t feel confident calling him so I typed up a message: [I talked with Ekene. With everything that’s going on, I thought I’d let you two have time alone. I still want to talk to you about my plans. I’ll be meeting with Tynne, then returning to Starkiller Base.]</p>
<p>Hopefully it would be enough. </p>
<p>I sat in the cockpit, sipping warm caffeine, blankly watching rain slide down my cockpit windows. It was dark outside, hours before dawn. </p>
<p>Ekene and Ahobri emerged from the hotel, walking down the covered walkway arm in arm. </p>
<p>I waved at them from the cockpit and Ekene waved back. </p>
<p>I welcomed Ahobri to the ship with a hug before she took the copilot’s seat. </p>
<p>Ekene stood under the awning to see us off. </p>
<p>Ahobri had happy tears shimmering in her eyes, “You didn’t tell me how nice he was,” she said, leaning towards the window. </p>
<p>Both of us waved at him as I took Rosie up, leaving the hotel, leaving Kotrea. </p>
<p>“I’m so happy you two hit it off,” I told her. </p>
<p>Ahobri was firmly wiping tears from her eyes, a smile on her face, “He wasn’t what I was expecting at all.”</p>
<p>“I told you. They’re just people.”</p>
<p>Ahobri went to fix herself caffeine while I took us out of atmosphere. </p>
<p>When we were floating in open space, well beyond Kotrea and her moon, I pulled up Tynne’s contact information. </p>
<p>“First up is Tynne, then we’ll head to Artrix,” I told Ahobri, “It should be an in-and-out job, but it’s probably going to add five or six hours to the day.”</p>
<p>Ahobri yawned. </p>
<p>I switched my comms over to my smuggling signature and punched in the code for Tynne’s line. A crew-member that  I didn’t know answered. He was a young Yuzzum, with a giant snout and beady little eyes. </p>
<p>“What is it?” he asked, leaning on his hand, looking bored out of his mind. </p>
<p>“This is Siobhan Zhang. I have a meeting with Tynne today and I need the coordinates.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know you,” the Yuzzum replied, stonewalling. </p>
<p>I made an irritated sigh, “I’m the one that gave you the intelligence on Blas-Tech. I’m coming to bring Tynne seventy thousand credits. I need your coordinates.”</p>
<p>The Yuzzum gulped in surprise, “Uh, yes- Siobhan- madam,” he stumbled nervously, “I’ll get those to you.” </p>
<p>“Thank you,” I replied with mock sweetness. </p>
<p>I saved the information on my console and ended the call. </p>
<p>“What a little asshole,” I muttered, leaning my head against the back of my chair. </p>
<p>I was already tired, and the day was just beginning. </p>
<p>Ahobri sat quietly, sipping her caffeine. </p>
<p>I confirmed that the hotel had refueled my ship, then I made the hyperspace calculations. Tynne had moved into the border between the Expansion Region and Mid-Rim in the Luuq sector. It would be four hours there, and then another six or seven hours to Artrix. </p>
<p>We’d be spending almost the whole day on Rosie. </p>
<p>I sent us into hyperspace, the stars stretching out in front of us. </p>
<p>“It’s going to be a four hour trip,” I told Ahobri, settling back in my chair, “You should take a nap.”</p>
<p>Ahobri shook her head, “No. I’m awake now.”</p>
<p>She stifled a yawn, and I laughed. </p>
<p>“We need to talk,” she said, more serious now. </p>
<p>“About what?” I asked, shifting in my seat. </p>
<p>“Everything that just happened,” she told me. </p>
<p>There were dark circles under her eyes. She was in a simple, black, shift dress, with a colorful robe thrown carelessly around her shoulders. Her headtails were draped to either side, unadorned. </p>
<p>“I thought you were having a good time,” I began, letting her see my concern. </p>
<p>“I had an amazing time,” Ahobri said, meeting my eyes, “But you didn’t prepare me at all. Ekene, a man I just met, gave me more information than you’ve given me this whole cycle!”</p>
<p>I pressed my lips together, “You’re right,” I said, grimacing and looking down at the dirty floor of my cockpit, “What did you and Ekene talk about?”</p>
<p>“He talked to me about what it’s like, what it means to connect with the Force,” Ahobri began, “And I told him about your dream.”</p>
<p>I frowned, “That’s not really something I want them knowing about.”</p>
<p>“That came up, too,” Ahobri said, folding her arms over her chest, “Why are you always so cagey? Why can’t you just talk to me about this?” she demanded, spots of color rising in her cheeks. </p>
<p>“Because it’s fucking insane!” I shouted. </p>
<p>Ahobri startled. She was not used to me getting angry at her. </p>
<p>My shoulders fell. “I’m sorry,” I said, more gently, “I just, you’ve known me for so long, and there’s always been this… thing, this power, but I didn’t really know what it was. Now I do, and the training-”</p>
<p>I took a deep, shaky breath. Ahobri reached for my hand, waiting patiently for me to find the words. </p>
<p>“I keep dreaming about Korriban, where the old Sith Academy was,” I began. My chest felt tight as I decided to open up, “Ymir abandoned me there for sixty-three days. He only left me with a week’s worth of water and food. I had to figure out the rest on my own.”</p>
<p>Ahobri’s eyes didn’t leave me, “I remember you telling me about it,” she said. Her gaze was gentle and kind.</p>
<p>“I… It was the worst experience of my life.” I remembered the grassland, the escape from the Rancor. “… but, I know why Ymir did it. And I know he was right. It made me stronger…,” </p>
<p>I exhaled sharply. “And that’s insane, right? All this power, it just comes from pain.”</p>
<p>Ahobri thought through my words before she responded, “It sounds terrifying,” she said, “But I don’t want you to hide it from me. I’m with you on this, no matter what.”</p>
<p>I made a sneering kind of laugh, then quickly shook my head, </p>
<p>“Siobhan,” Ahobri said, cautioning me, “Ekene told me about your mission on his mining planet.”</p>
<p>“And what did he call the people - guerillas or terrorists?” I snapped, without pausing to think. </p>
<p>Ahobri let go of my hand, pushing me away, “Gods, stop being so fucking difficult!” She stared at me with a hard expression, “He told me that you went down with Kylo Ren and handled a situation, a situation that the military leadership had failed at, and he told me how much that mission affected you.”</p>
<p>This time I paused, thinking before I spoke, “I’ve worked with Kylo Ren for a cycle now,” I began, “And I don’t exactly know what he was like before, but I see the kind of man he’s become… and I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to be that alone.” </p>
<p>I looked at the floor, “I just… I don’t think you shouldn’t stand behind me no matter what. I will be hurting people on behalf of Ymir and the First Order.”</p>
<p>“And one day you’ll defeat them,” Ahobri said, her voice was soft. </p>
<p>I nodded, my back teeth clenched “One day I will.”</p>
<p>
  <b>II</b>
</p>
<p>We were more subdued for the rest of the trip to Tynne. </p>
<p>Ahobri took a nap. I made more caffeine and continued my work on the expansion strategy briefing. </p>
<p>I had trouble focusing on the work. My mind was on Ahobri. I didn’t know how I was going to tell Ymir about her. She already knew I was a Sith, that I was working for the First Order. She had met Ren. She had been my partner on the job with Boz. She had met Ekene. </p>
<p>And, as far as I knew, Ymir had no idea she existed. That gave me a feeling of pride.</p>
<p>I tried to imagine a scenario where I kept her hidden forever. </p>
<p>It didn’t seem possible. </p>
<p>Ekene was right, Ahobri shouldn’t meet Ymir. She was one of the only people I had told about my father’s murder. She knew my intention was to kill Ymir. She knew I wasn’t loyal to the First Order. </p>
<p>I could hide my thoughts and emotions from Ymir and Snoke, but she was defenseless. </p>
<p>There was a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. </p>
<p>One problem at a time. </p>
<p>Ymir was going to be occupied for days. I had time to figure out a solution to this. </p>
<p>I focused my energies on the expansion strategy. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>When the first hyperspace alarm went off, I prepared for the meeting with Tynne. </p>
<p>I was relying on him to organize a council meeting of the Smuggler’s Alliance, and I was late with his money on our very first deal. </p>
<p>I scrolled through the First Order intelligence reports on my tablet, trying to find a good target that I could send him towards. It would mean more money for him. </p>
<p>Arakyd Industries was a droid manufacturing company with a few assembly warehouses and supply lines in the neighboring system. I spent a while looking at the map, trying to figure out if there was a conflict of territory with any other group, or any other members of the ‘Alliance. </p>
<p>Ahobri joined me in the cockpit. We had a few minutes before we left hyperspace. </p>
<p>She had showered and changed clothes, wearing a black shift dress that went to the ground and a pale blue robe with wide bell-sleeves. </p>
<p>“Want to meet my old boss?” I asked her as she took the copilot’s seat. There was a mug of caffeine in her hand. </p>
<p>She blew on the liquid before taking a sip, “Am I going to meet Channa, too?” she teased. </p>
<p>“Probably,” I replied with a grin. </p>
<p>“Sure,” she replied, drawing her bare feet up. </p>
<p>“It’s going to be quick. I’ll be surprised if we’re on that ship for more than ten minutes,” I told her, trying to give her more information. </p>
<p>“That was the impression I got from the conversation earlier,” Ahobri said. </p>
<p>“Tynne’s an old-timer. He can’t stand baanthashit conversations,” I added, “I’m going to give him the rest of the money, throw him some intelligence on a droid manufacturing company, and figure out when the council meeting is.”</p>
<p>“Should I come up with an alias?” Ahobri asked with a sly smile. </p>
<p>“I think that’s a good idea. They’re going to do their research on us before the council meeting. Tynne knows I worked at The Outpost, and I don’t want them to figure out we’re making deals with the Hutts.</p>
<p>“How long do I have?” she asked. </p>
<p>I glanced at the console, “Maybe fifteen minutes.”<br/>I double checked the console to make sure my ship’s comms and signature were on a smuggling code. </p>
<p>It would be a disaster if I showed up with my First Order signature engaged. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>When I popped out of hyperspace. Tynne’s ship was in visual range. I contacted them to request a hangar. </p>
<p>Tynne was the one to answer. “Took you long enough,” he greeted. </p>
<p>“I got your money,” I replied with a grin. </p>
<p>“And your business associate?” Tynne grumbled. </p>
<p>“Her too. Where am I landing?”</p>
<p>“Hangar Six. Channa and I will meet you.”</p>
<p>He ended the call. </p>
<p>“How charming,” Ahobri said, tamping down a smile. </p>
<p>“He’s a tough old bastard, but I liked working for him.”</p>
<p>We piloted our way to Hangar Six, towards the rear of the ship. </p>
<p>The hangar was dim and cluttered. There were two other crew ships in the space, and more piles of scrap metal and parts lining the walls. </p>
<p>Tynne and Channa were there with a much-repurposed protocol droid. </p>
<p>I exited the ship with my satchel around my shoulder, Ahobri one pace behind me. </p>
<p>“Howdy!” I greeted, raising a friendly hand. </p>
<p>Channa didn’t respond. She stood with her natural frown. Her jumpsuit was rolled up to the elbows, revealing her muscled and tattooed forearms. I noticed her looking between Ahobri and me. </p>
<p>“This is my associate, Jaina Dett,” I introduced, gesturing to Ahobri. </p>
<p>Tynne stepped forward and gave her a firm handshake. His hands were covered in dirt and engine grease. He was wearing the same pair of coveralls I remembered from my last visit. This time his shirt was black. </p>
<p>I pulled my tablet out of my bag. “I’m transferring seventy thousand credits to your account,” I said, “Also, I pulled some information on Arakyd Industries. They have a manufacturing plant a sector over.”</p>
<p>Tynne motioned the droid towards me, “You’ll only get your cut on the original amount. After I take what you owe me for the payload you helped to steal, that leaves twelve hundred credits.” </p>
<p>The droid gave me my cut in flan.</p>
<p>“You’re busting my balls here,” I replied.</p>
<p>“You busted mine for years,” Tynne shot back with good humor. </p>
<p>Channa laughed. </p>
<p>“I heard the job on Blas-tech went smoothly,” I said, determined to keep our conversation on track.</p>
<p>“It was a good haul,” Tynne replied. “I’m interested in this manufacturing plant,” he said as I passed him the datachip. </p>
<p>I finished the account transfer through the droid. </p>
<p>Ahobri stood politely at my side. </p>
<p>“I’ve started talking with the other leadership about scheduling a council meeting,” Tynne said, “But you know how they are. I expect it’ll be a few weeks before we can get everyone in a room together.”</p>
<p>“Do you plan to meet here?” I asked. </p>
<p>“Not idea,” Tynne replied. </p>
<p>I waited to see if he had anything else to say. </p>
<p>“Well, we’re finally square. I’ll look forward to hearing from you in a few weeks,” I said. </p>
<p>“Yup. I’ll give you a call,” Tynne said. </p>
<p>“Thanks,” I said, shaking his hand. </p>
<p>Channa hadn’t moved for the entire meeting. I didn’t bother with her. </p>
<p>I turned and boarded Rosie, with Ahobri following. </p>
<p>“Friendly crowd,” Ahobri sighed, as we walked down the hall towards the cockpit. </p>
<p>“Like I said, he’s not much for conversation.”</p>
<p>I plopped into the captain’s chair and warmed up the engines, clearing her to leave the ship.</p>
<p>“What was he talking about? A stolen payload?” Ahobri asked, as I took Rosie out into open space. </p>
<p>“That’s how I joined the Resistance,” I told her with a rakish grin, “They intercepted our ship on a weapons run for Tynne. I decided to help them steal it, and enlisted.” </p>
<p>Ahobri shook her head, a disbelieving smile tugging at her mouth. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>We had another six hours in hyperspace before Artrix. </p>
<p>Ahobri and I drank beers and snacked on moco at the kitchen table. </p>
<p>“So after Tynne’s ship, this makes more sense,” she said, looking out at the dingy cargo bay. </p>
<p>“I’ll get a new ship,” I promised, “After this, I’m going to go pick up Thess. She’ll be my pilot. Then we’ll come back to Artrix and I can start looking at a new ship.”</p>
<p>“Do you want me to start making the connection with Sul Haak?” Ahobri asked, taking a sip of beer. </p>
<p>I shook my head, “Thanks, but I don’t want you trying to get meetings on your own. I should be back in a few days, and we can work on that together.”</p>
<p>Ahobri and I planned out what she would be doing on Artrix. </p>
<p>She needed a temporary place, with her own security. </p>
<p>I’d put her up in a hotel for a couple of days while she found an apartment to rent. She’d contact Koval and Dreks. They’d be able to work in shifts. </p>
<p>I’d come back and we’d start pursuing the Haaks. We’d wait for Tynne to contact us with an update from the Smuggler’s Alliance. </p>
<p>After that, we talked more about my house - thinking about locations, what kind of place I wanted. </p>
<p>The goal was to have a central location where I could hold meetings and do my business. We talked about staff and security. </p>
<p>The hardest part would be hiding my true affiliation. We couldn’t have people knowing I was a Sith working for the First Order. </p>
<p>“How long do you think you’ll be able to hide it?” Ahobri asked. </p>
<p>“For as long as I need to, I hope,” I replied. I paused. “It’s starting to be really irritating, acting like I’m still some freelance smuggler. Like with Boz… if I had my lightsabers on my belt, he wouldn’t have talked back to me the way he did.”</p>
<p>“Could you imagine?” Ahobri said, eyes lighting up. </p>
<p>“I would love to see the look on his face, but not while it could fuck up the mission,” I said. </p>
<p>Ahobri’s expression drew inwards for a moment. </p>
<p>“What is it?” I asked. </p>
<p>“It was strange to see how people looked at you on Kotrea,” Ahobri said. She looked down, her mouth twisted to the side, “They were scared of you.”</p>
<p>“I noticed that,” I said with a shrug, “I’ve kinda gotten used to it. In the First Order, Ren... he throws these fucking fits every now and then. So everyone’s terrified of him, and they just assume I’m the same way. Which kind of works out for me.”</p>
<p>Ahobri was giving me a playful look, “Ekene asked about your visit to The Outpost. I told him my version of the story. He couldn’t stop laughing. I just thought Ren was some obnoxious guy you had done a job with.”</p>
<p>“Did you tell him about Jenna?” I asked with a mean grin.</p>
<p>“Oh, yes I did. I told him that she was trapped in that fucking booth almost the entire time we were at Ivory, because he refused to dance.”</p>
<p>My shoulders were shaking with laughter at Ren’s expense. </p>
<p>“How are things between you now?” Ahobri asked. </p>
<p>“Temporarily better. I think we’re at a ceasefire.”</p>
<p>Ahobri’s expression grew more serious again, “You still haven’t talked to me about Ymir. What’s it like having him as your teacher?”</p>
<p>I spit to the side, “Can you ask me another time?”</p>
<p>I was anxious about the conversation I needed to have with him. I didn’t want to get into it with her. </p>
<p>“Sure, but I really don’t want to wait,” she said, “Are you fucking him?”</p>
<p>I shook my head, “I made a pass at him once, a couple weeks into my training. He said no.”</p>
<p>Ahobri cringed and made a sympathetic frown, “Oh… I’m sorry…?”</p>
<p>“Like I said, I really don’t want to get into it,” I said, standing up from the table, “I’m going to go shower... or nap... or something.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I went back to my bunk, leaving the door open, while I poked around on my tablet. I typed up a report about the meeting with Tynne. </p>
<p>After a few hours, Ahobri stopped in my doorway. </p>
<p>“I didn’t mean to give you a hard time earlier,” she said. </p>
<p>I sat up in my bunk, moving to the side to make space for her. </p>
<p>“It’s not you,” I said, as she took a seat next to me. </p>
<p>She had changed into lounge clothes - loose grey pants and a stretched, well-worn, white tunic. </p>
<p>“It’s just a really tough situation,” I told her, “Ymir understands me in a way that no one else does, and at the same time, he’s trying to shape me into this idea he has in his head of who he wants me to be.”</p>
<p>Ahobri put her hand on my back. </p>
<p>“That’s as much as I want to go into it,” I told her. </p>
<p>“I’m glad I met Ekene and not him,” Ahobri said. </p>
<p>I laughed. </p>
<p>“But Ekene was kind and lovely,” she continued, “And I feel that it tells me something about Ymir, y’know.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I still don’t have him figured out,” I said. </p>
<p>We kissed in my bunk, sweet and slow, our bodies close. </p>
<p>Eventually, when we couldn’t stand it anymore, we took off our clothes and made love in my narrow bunk on top of my scratchy brown sheets. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>We arrived on Artrix feeling hopeful. </p>
<p>Ahobri was quietly tearing up as we descended through atmosphere and joined the inbound traffic lanes. </p>
<p>“I just can’t believe I’m not going back to The Outpost,” she said, brushing tears away with her sleeve, “The past few days have felt like a dream. Like it was temporary.”</p>
<p>“We’ll move on from Artrix soon,” I told her, “You’ll have a fresh start.”</p>
<p>“I’m glad it’s not all happening at once,” she said, “I think I’ll go out for drinks with some of the girls. Everything happened so fast. I really didn’t say my goodbyes.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, just be careful, okay?” I said, “The Uhdeas have eyes and ears all over this city.”</p>
<p>We called a hotel and got Ahobri set up in a penthouse. I paid for three weeks up front. </p>
<p>Next, Ahobri called Koval. She didn’t get him on the line, so she left a message for him to call her back about some work. </p>
<p>We organized her money. I was paying her seven hundred credits up front. I gave her couple a thousand credits to cover her apartment, furniture, basics, and the cost of her security team. </p>
<p>I walked her into the hotel. She had a three room suite, big enough so Koval and Dreks could have their own space when they were off the clock - a small luxury for someone on a security job. </p>
<p>We kissed goodbye, then I was back aboard Rosie. I was entering the outbound traffic lane less than half an hour after I had landed. </p>
<p>We had just completed ten hours in hyperspace, and now I had twelve hours ahead of me. </p>
<p>Twelve hours alone. </p>
<p>Before I made the jump, I checked my messages. It was radio silence on Ymir’s end - hopefully that meant he and Ekene were sorting out what they needed to. </p>
<p>I decided to ping the Finalizer, letting them know I’d be arriving in a day. </p>
<p>I needed to decide how I was going to handle Hux. </p>
<p>My first round of calculations would get me to a fuel depot at the edge of the Unknown Regions.  </p>
<p>I punched it into hyperspace. </p>
<p>
  <b>III</b>
</p>
<p>Tense thoughts dogged me through the long hours alone. </p>
<p>Things were changing. </p>
<p>Ekene was no longer tied to Ymir. He said he was willing to help me. </p>
<p>I needed to figure out how I would talk to Ymir about Ahobri. </p>
<p>Jukhara and Ekene’s words continued to jab me. They saw that I was reckless - they saw how it hurt people. </p>
<p>I was so used to being nobody. I was so used to being disposable. </p>
<p>I lay down in my bunk, the lights dim in my drab metal room. </p>
<p>With my head cradled in my hands, laying on top of the sheets, I allowed my thoughts to drift in meditation. </p>
<p>I had lived my life without attachments, because I knew that everything I had could be taken away. That lesson had been hammered home since I was a child, even before Ymir killed my father. </p>
<p>We grew up with constant fear. My mother was terrified that we would be discovered. Then, when First Order banners went up in our town, she was too scared to leave. She wouldn’t let my father join the Resistance. We were frozen in place.</p>
<p>When I struck out on my own, I didn’t have money, or a name. I learned how to get by with nothing. </p>
<p>I learned to be comfortable with nothing. </p>
<p>And so I was nothing. </p>
<p>I had survived on Korriban because I had years of practice living off of scraps. </p>
<p>But things were different now. </p>
<p>I had a ship of my own. I had money of my own. I had connections with powerful people, some of the most powerful people in the Galaxy. </p>
<p>With my eyes closed, fingers interlaced behind my head. I <i>reached</i> towards the Darkside. </p>
<p>Floating above the void, I explored these new feelings of greed and power. I felt the way the energy shifted and <i>reached</i> for me, speaking in its hollow formless voice. </p>
<p>It spoke in words I couldn’t understand. </p>
<p>My thoughts kept moving.</p>
<p>I was travelling to pick up my pilot. I’d buy a better ship, with my own money.  </p>
<p>I would tell Ymir my intention. I had assembled all the pieces. What could he do to take it away?</p>
<p>He could hurt Ahobri. </p>
<p>A pang of fear ran through me. </p>
<p>The memory of him cutting down my father was a wound I would always carry with me. </p>
<p>He wasn’t going to hurt Ahobri too. </p>
<p>Ekene was right. I had to be smarter. </p>
<p>I was never supposed to be anything. If Ymir hadn’t come into my home, I might still be on Tevel, hiding from the First Order. I would be just another shit-kicking farmer. </p>
<p>When Ymir killed my father, he didn’t take away my future, just the person I loved most in the world. </p>
<p>This was my opportunity. </p>
<p>I had the chance to become something more than I was supposed to be. </p>
<p>I refused to fail. </p>
<p>With my hands clenched, floating above the darkness, I shouted into the pit.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>You hear me!<br/>I’m not going to fail!</p>
</blockquote><p>There was a strange, fiery, gripping sensation around my heart. </p>
<p>In the space of meditation. I brought my hand to my chest. </p>
<p>It was painful and frightening.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>I’m not going to fail!</p>
</blockquote><p>I shouted again. </p>
<p>My words were immediately met with a growling screech from a place far beneath me. </p>
<p>My eyelids shot open, and I pushed myself up, a hand over my heart, catching my breath. </p>
<p>The muscle pumped in my chest, steady against my sternum. </p>
<p>I sat in my bunk, returning to myself. </p>
<p>I dared to hope. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>After many long, dull hours in hyperspace, I arrived at Starkiller Base. </p>
<p>I could make out clearcutting happening along the equator. They were stripping the forest, mining any pockets of Kyber crystals they could find. </p>
<p>The First Order was chewing up the planet. </p>
<p>I switched over to my First Order signature and comms, contacting the bridge. </p>
<p>“This is Lin Siniang in Rosie, requesting a hangar,” I said, leaning over my console. </p>
<p>Some female lieutenant answered. </p>
<p>“Yes, madam,” she said, “Kylo Ren is planet-side and asked to be notified of your arrival.”</p>
<p>“Then notify him,” I replied, “I have business aboard The Finalizer.”</p>
<p>“Yes, Madam Siniang,” the Lieutenant said, “Hangar One is cleared for your arrival.”</p>
<p>I was going to pack up my clothes, put Hux in his place, and then I’d be off to pick up my pilot.</p>
<p>With any luck, I’d be leaving for Artrix in a few hours.</p>
<p>When I arrived in the hangar, Hux was waiting for me with a unit of soldiers.</p>
<p>I narrowed my eyes. That little gossiping bastard. I knew exactly what I was going to do to him. I stepped out the side hatch.</p>
<p>“Madam Siniang,” he greeted, his chest puffed up, red hair slicked back under his military cap.</p>
<p>These formal welcomes were exhausting.</p>
<p>“Vice Admiral, such a pleasure to see you again,” I said, shaking his hand. </p>
<p>I had dressed up as much as possible from my limited supply of clothes. I had on my black pants and the jade silk shirt that dipped low in the front. My lightsabers were secured prominently on my belt. </p>
<p>“Lord Ymir has told us your assignment was very successful, that you have the Hutts under our control.”</p>
<p>“The Uhdea branch at least,” I said with cool indifference, “I hoped you’d be here to greet me. I want to get your input on the plans I’m making for our expansion.”</p>
<p>Hux’s adam’s apple bobbed against his stiff uniform collar. “Why yes, Madam,” he said, a note of pride in his voice. </p>
<p>“I’ll be packing up supplies from my room. Knock on the door when you’re free,” I said, and brushed past the welcome party to the nearest elevator. </p>
<p>I knew I wouldn’t have to wait long. </p>
<p>My quarters felt empty when I arrived. </p>
<p>I had managed to only sleep here one or two days since I had been stationed to The Finalizer. Tasha had left a week ago. The air felt stale, but I was on a starship; there was only so much that could be done. </p>
<p>The crates with my clothes had been tucked away inside a wall panel in my bedroom. </p>
<p>I <i>moved</i> the crates out, arranging them in a line. I opened the wall panels that held the rest of my clothes. </p>
<p>There were so many of them. I had given Ahobri so much shit over her giant suitcases; now she could make fun of me for my excessive collection of outfits.</p>
<p>I started packing clothes into crates. The utility and civilian clothing just got thrown in - my dresses, gowns, and formal robes got more care and attention. </p>
<p>Thankfully, most of them were sealed away in protective sheaths. I folded them neatly into crates, unzipping some along the way to see what I was packing. </p>
<p>There was a buzz on my console, Hux was outside in the hall. </p>
<p>I had a smile on my face as I strode through the sitting room to let him in.</p>
<p>“Madam Siniang,” he greeted, and eager light in his eyes. </p>
<p>“Oh, you know you should call me Lin,” I welcomed, “Come on in. Can I get you a drink?”</p>
<p>“Yes, thank you,” he said. </p>
<p>Hux picked one of my chairs. He took off his military cap, placing it on the low table. His slicked-back hair was shiny in the light. </p>
<p>I poured us each a glass of whiskey. </p>
<p>I took the sofa, sitting next to him. We touched glasses and I met his eyes. </p>
<p>I was going to have so much fun with this.</p>
<p>“So there was just that big mission in Ado,” I said, crossing my legs, leaning towards him, “I haven’t gotten the details from Ymir. Tell me about it.”</p>
<p>Hux couldn’t be happier. </p>
<p>Excitedly, he regaled me with a story of combat. He had spent the entire mission safe on the bridge, but he described what everyone else was doing like he had been there doing the work. </p>
<p>Kylo Ren led an impressive attack against the enemy fleet, flying on the front lines with his squadron and Yuri. </p>
<p>I made a note to congratulate Ren. </p>
<p>Planet-side, Ymir and Adram led ground troops clear through the capitol, destroying buildings, physically removing the Prime Minister from his offices, and claiming Coyerti for the First Order. </p>
<p>Hux talked and talked and talked. I nodded along, making him feel that I was interested. I laughed at his jokes and participated in the story, responding to all his cues. </p>
<p>At the end he was relaxed and flush with confidence, just where I wanted him. </p>
<p>“Y’know there was something I hoped to discuss with you,” I said, reaching out a hand, touching his arm. </p>
<p>I made eye contact, sweet and flirtatious. </p>
<p>“Wh… What is it?” he asked, taken off guard. </p>
<p>“Well, a funny thing happened the last time I was on Starkiller Base. I was hoping you could help me figure it out.”</p>
<p>“Yes. Of course, Lin,” Hux said, happy to be of service. </p>
<p>“I had a conversation with Captain Phasma that was very accusatory,” I said. </p>
<p>Hux gave me a confused look. </p>
<p>“We had been getting along just fine. Then I saw you wandering around, shooting the breeze with her, and next thing I know she’s making personal attacks against me.”</p>
<p>Hux swallowed nervously, trying to hide the fact he was swallowing nervously. </p>
<p>“You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that?” I asked sweetly, not breaking eye contact. </p>
<p>“If Captain Phasma behaved disrespectfully... I can help you send a formal complaint to Lord Ymir…” he said, stumbling through his words.</p>
<p>I shifted in my seat so I was facing Hux directly, “Well, the thing is, I don’t think she was the only one behaving disrespectfully,” I said, keeping my tone light. </p>
<p>Hux was trying to stay calm and figure out his exit strategy. </p>
<p>I continued, “I get the sense that someone was spreading rumors about me. Was it you, Hux?”</p>
<p>“No! Of course not, Madam!” he protested, face flushing red. </p>
<p>I smiled, extending my hand <i>pushing</i> into his mind. </p>
<p>This part was not enjoyable. I really did not want to explore the contents of Hux’s thoughts, but I needed him to know that I could. </p>
<p>He was frozen in place, heart ramping up its tempo. </p>
<p>I felt his lust and greed and jealousy. I felt a thousand petty grudges he held. Then I landed on a memory of him talking with Phasma; he was sharing the story of how I disappeared with Kylo Ren for a few hours, re-emerging with bite marks and rope burns that I didn’t even bother hiding; what if Kylo Ren had the same marks under those dark robes?</p>
<p>I laughed, backing out of his mind. </p>
<p>Hux was trembling, breathing quickly, heart stammering in his chest. </p>
<p>I smoothly rose from my seat putting <i>pressure</i> on Hux’s windpipe. My hand was in a pincer shape. </p>
<p>Hux struggled in the chair, his hands rising to his throat, feet scuffing against the floor. </p>
<p>“You are fucking pathetic,” I snarled. </p>
<p>“P… Please…” Hux begged. He had enough air to spit out a word or two. </p>
<p>I enjoyed watching his face turn red. </p>
<p>“You really should have thought about that sooner,” I said, not relenting. “I don’t know why you thought you could get away with talking behind my back,” I said, getting close to his face. </p>
<p>He was panting, pushing himself back against the chair. </p>
<p>“I could kill you right here, without even laying a finger on you.”</p>
<p>“Nn… Nnoo!” Hux gasped, renewing his efforts. </p>
<p>“Kylo Ren is planet-side. I can go tell him about your theory and see what he has to say…”</p>
<p>Hux was very red now, kicking and scrabbling in desperation. He pushed himself backwards in the chair, falling gracelessly onto the metal floors. It didn’t help him get more air in his lungs.</p>
<p>“I’ve worked with so many men just like you,” I continued, knowing I needed to wrap things up, “You’re so weak. You can’t help yourself.” </p>
<p>I leaned in close, until I was next to his ear. He gasped and struggled beneath me, “This can just be our little secret for now. I won’t tell Ren. I won’t tell Ymir.”</p>
<p>He had his hand at his throat, trying to release my grip on him, but it was useless. </p>
<p>I continued, cool and calm, “In return, I expect you to keep your fucking thoughts to yourself. You’ll fix things with Phasma, and you owe me any favors I ask. Agreed?”</p>
<p>“Y..Y..Yes!” he finally spat out, knees kicking uselessly against the ground. </p>
<p>I released the hold on his throat and I <i>opened</i> the door to the hallway. </p>
<p>“Good. Now get the fuck out of my quarters,” I commanded. </p>
<p>Hux was scrambling for the door on all fours until he finally found his feet, dashing into the hallway. </p>
<p>I <i>closed</i> the door and poured a glass of whiskey, feeling very pleased with myself.  </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I finished throwing clothes into crates, deciding to liberate some bottles from my liquor cabinet on the way. </p>
<p>I also changed into thermals and a heavy, black winter coat. For once, I would be prepared for the weather when I arrived on Starkiller Base. </p>
<p>Hopefully it would be a long time before I had to return to The Finalizer. </p>
<p>I called up a group of stormtroopers to load the crates of clothes onto Rosie. I had them stack everything in my cargo bay, six crates total. </p>
<p>When I returned to the cockpit, I noticed that Rosie had been refueled. </p>
<p>I cleared my ship for departure from the hangar and made my descent to Starkiller Base, whistling along to my music while I piloted. </p>
<p>There was much more activity in this airspace now. </p>
<p>Cargo freighters were arriving from hyperspace, and TIE fighter units were practicing formations. I wondered if Thess was part of any of these groups. I <i>reached</i> for her, but couldn’t feel anything. </p>
<p>The surface of the planet was being torn apart. Pillars of smoke rose from the forests and the mountains where they were mining and clearcutting. </p>
<p>I extended my awareness, <i>reaching</i> for the Kyber crystals. The delicate chiming was strained and brittle. </p>
<p>This couldn’t be just a reflection of my own doubts and concerns, like Ymir had claimed. The words from my dream rose up - ‘They’re pain is not yours to give.’</p>
<p>But it was just a dream. My dreams, supporting my beliefs. </p>
<p>I didn’t linger on those thoughts. I returned my attention to flying.</p>
<p>The control tower directed me to land on the concrete pad next to the yard. </p>
<p>Stormtrooper units were being led through an elaborate march in their full armor, blasters held near their chests. </p>
<p>Ren was waiting for me at the edge of the landing pad. He was dressed in his robes and mask. His cloak fluttered in the wind. There was a light dusting of snow on the top of his hood and across his shoulders. </p>
<p>I didn’t know if his presence was a good or a bad sign. </p>
<p>I pulled on my jacket and exited through the cargo bay. </p>
<p>“Hey,” I greeted, raising an arm. I tossed a compliment out to feed Ren’s ego, “Hux just told me about the battle. It sounded exciting.”<br/>“Where did you fly in from?” Ren asked, his voice monotone through the audiofeed. </p>
<p>“I was just out on Kotrea, visiting Ekene for a few days,” I said, approaching Ren. </p>
<p>His masked face tilted, not expecting my answer. </p>
<p>“Him and Ymir broke up,” I continued, “Did Ymir say anything to you about it?” </p>
<p>This was clearly not the direction Ren thought this conversation would be going. </p>
<p>“No. Why would he?” Ren replied, dismissively. </p>
<p>“They were in a relationship for nine years-” I began, but Ren cut me off. </p>
<p>“I need to talk to you.”</p>
<p>“Sure, about what?” I asked. </p>
<p>We were alone in the snow. Beyond us was the noise of thousands of feet, moving in sync at the commands of the unit leaders. </p>
<p>“Captain Phasma spoke with me when I returned from Ado,” Ren began. </p>
<p>Oh here we go… I crossed my arms over my chest. </p>
<p>“And what did she have to say?” I asked. </p>
<p>“She told me that, as soon as we left, you were drunk and disruptive in the hangar. She said you took a pilot away from training to work on your broken ship,” Ren nodded towards Rosie, resting shabbily on the landing pad. </p>
<p>I waited to see if there was more, but Ren didn’t add anything else. </p>
<p>I shrugged, “Uh, yeah, I definitely did that.”</p>
<p>It was funny to imagine Phasma ratting me out to Ren - especially if all she told him was that I was drunk and loud in the hangar, giving a pilot beer. I tried to tamp down my amusement. </p>
<p>“I’m actually here to pick up that pilot. Was that all?” I asked, with a testy grin. </p>
<p>“No,” Ren replied. The sound was harsh through his ‘feed.</p>
<p>I arched an eyebrow, getting impatient, “What is it?”</p>
<p>“Rajendra had a ship delivered for you,” he said. </p>
<p>“He what?!” I exclaimed, unable to hide my surprise. </p>
<p>Now Ren crossed his arms, “One of the cargo freighters brought it in,” he said, deadpan through his mask, “You didn’t know about it?”</p>
<p>“No!” I said, with a wide smile, “Is it good?”</p>
<p>Ren just stared at me for a beat, not responding. </p>
<p>I took off towards the hangar, striding across the frozen concrete. </p>
<p>“I’m not done talking to you!” Ren said irritably, following me as I traveled to the hangar. </p>
<p>“Okay, then walk and talk,” I replied, turning towards him. </p>
<p>A squadron of TIE fighters screamed overhead. </p>
<p>Ren quickly caught up to me, “You can’t get drunk in front of our soldiers,” he lectured, “Captain Phasma said you had your music turned up so loudly it was interrupting our instructors.”</p>
<p>And no one had been brave enough to ask me to turn it down. </p>
<p>I had a wicked grin on my face as I approached the hangar. </p>
<p>Rajendra was giving me a ship. </p>
<p>“Have you told Lord Ymir that you plan to take one of our pilots?” Ren continued. </p>
<p>He was jealous and frustrated, determined to give me a hard time. </p>
<p>The hangar was active - half the TIE fighter arrays were empty. I heard instructors teaching in their cordoned-off classrooms. </p>
<p>I only had eyes for the ship. </p>
<p>She was beautiful and flashy. She looked like a New Republic ship, in shades of slate gray and gold. She didn’t look First Order at all. </p>
<p>“Holy shit…” I breathed, jogging over to touch her. </p>
<p>She was a custom job, built to impress. But she wasn’t a diplomatic cruiser - I could see sleek turret panels on her wings and beneath the nose. </p>
<p>From the ground, it looked like she had two levels, maybe three. I guessed that she was thirty meters long.</p>
<p>Ren joined me as I opened the side hatch, the hydraulics moving with a smooth hiss as the ramp lowered. </p>
<p>“Did you check her out already?” I asked.</p>
<p>“No,” Ren said, stand-offishly. </p>
<p>I strode aboard, and, after a second, he followed me inside. </p>
<p>The ship smelled new. The interior was shades of white, cream, and a cloudy gray color. The lighting was crisp. All the surfaces were smooth and polished. </p>
<p>There was a control panel on the inside of the entrance ramp. </p>
<p>I pressed a few buttons on the screen to find a blueprint of the ship. </p>
<p>Ren pulled up, looming over my shoulder as I looked at the diagrams. </p>
<p>The ship actually had three levels. On a quick scan, I saw that the bottom level had cargo and work spaces. The middle level had the cockpit, kitchen, med bay, sleeping quarters, and a few other rooms. </p>
<p>The captain’s quarters were on the third level, separate from the rest of the ship. </p>
<p>Ren stood, uncomfortable in the bright and well-lit space. He was clearly interested in this machine, but upset that it was a gift from Raj. </p>
<p>“This is fucking incredible,” I breathed, looking through the specs. </p>
<p>Behind me Ren lifted off his mask, the fasteners rattling. He tucked the mask under his arm before leaning over my shoulder. </p>
<p>“Did you tell Ymir about this yet?” I asked playfully, looking at the details on the ship’s weapons system. </p>
<p>She was armed to the teeth with laser cannons, tucked away in her belly and wings. </p>
<p>“No, I thought you should be the one to tell him,” Ren said, his unfiltered voice more natural in my ear. </p>
<p>Her shields were good too, top-of-the-line as far as I could tell. </p>
<p>It was nice having friends in high places. </p>
<p>“Let’s take a tour,” I said, grabbing Ren’s gloved hand and dragging him through the halls. </p>
<p>Reluctantly, he allowed himself to be led on a blind tour. He kept his mask tucked under his arm. </p>
<p>The ship’s main level had quarters for six people. There was an actual kitchen, with a galley next to it, and one long table for people to eat. The ship had a med bay and a training room. There was a separate room, blank and empty with a curved ceiling. I guessed it was a meditation chamber - that’s how I expected to use it. </p>
<p>The lower deck was a large cargo bay with an attached workshop, complete with tools and two mechanic droids. The droids had been powered down.</p>
<p>I was giddy. I couldn’t stop grinning. </p>
<p>Ren’s stern expression didn’t change. But he wasn’t protesting as we explored the space. I had the sense that he was just as excited about this ship as I was, but he would never admit it to me. </p>
<p>I saved the cockpit and captain’s quarters for last. </p>
<p>The cockpit was large, with seats for four and a row of benches on either side of the entrance. </p>
<p>I dropped into the captain’s chair, noticing there was a blinking light on the console. </p>
<p>A message from Raj. </p>
<p>It seemed like a good idea to hear that message in private. I began poking and prodding my way through the other controls. </p>
<p>As I moved through menus on the console, I discovered the ship already had a name: The Sawai.</p>
<p>Ren stood behind the captain’s chair, his arms folded, looking around the space. </p>
<p>“Look at these fucking sheilds,” I said, pulling up the specs on the console. </p>
<p>They were powerful. I could weather a lot of damage if I wound up in a firefight. </p>
<p>Ren leaned in, keeping his distance, pretending like he didn’t want to touch anything. </p>
<p>“This ship is fucking incredible,” I said. “I know you’re jealous. I can feel it,” I taunted, sliding out of the captain’s chair, an aggressive tilt to my hips. </p>
<p>Ren was dismissive, “So you fucked Rajendra and he gave you a ship. Do you want me to be happy for you?” he said, looking down his nose at me. </p>
<p>I put a hand on his forearm, covered in layers of black fabric. </p>
<p>I smiled. Ren’s sour mood was only making me feel more mischievous. </p>
<p>“Want to be the first person to fuck me on this ship?” I said, my eyes sparkling. </p>
<p>His mask clattered to the floor. </p>
<p>Ren had his hand on the back of my skull, drawing me towards him for a kiss. </p>
<p>I laughed at the suddenness of it. </p>
<p>Ren began pulling clothes off of me while my hands grasped what I could, working off his cloak and belt. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ren turned me around and pushed me up against a wall, my face and forearms braced against the metal and sleek control panels. </p>
<p>We weren’t going to take the time for me to remove my boots - my pants were halfway down my thighs. </p>
<p>Ren had one hand on the back of my neck, pushing my face against the wall, while his other hand dug into my hip. </p>
<p>He had the upper layers of his robes off, his pants pulled down just far enough to free his cock. He drove into me, heavy and unrelenting. </p>
<p>I wouldn’t have it any other way. </p>
<p>I panted and cried out as he filled me over and over. </p>
<p>Ren wasn’t content to stay in the cockpit. </p>
<p>We moved down the hallway in a slow tangle of limbs, shedding clothes along the way. </p>
<p>It was a journey to get to the captain’s quarters. A sloping hall took us up into a state room. </p>
<p>Ren pushed me back onto a sofa, fucking me hard and holding onto the back of the furniture for leverage. </p>
<p>There were two doors leading off from the stateroom. </p>
<p>The first one we stumbled into was an office. Ren pushed me to my knees and fucked my mouth, his fingers wrapped through my hair. Then he had me brace myself over the desk, bent forward at the waist. I orgasmed, my hands gripping the corners of the wooden desk, while Ren pressed close inside of me. </p>
<p>He wasn’t done yet. He dragged me from the office and through the other door. </p>
<p>We discovered the bedroom. </p>
<p>Ren pushed me backward onto the mattress, falling on top of me. He had one of my thighs pinned back, a hand around my throat, tightening his grip as he ground into me. </p>
<p>He was close, his jaw tight, thrusting urgently. </p>
<p>I listened to myself moan and babble in his grip. My hips were bucking against him, and I felt my muscles clenching as another orgasm rolled through me. </p>
<p>My thigh cramped painfully as I curled inward. </p>
<p>Ren kept me pinned to the bed, thrusting even faster now. He was staring at me, his dark eyes never leaving my face. </p>
<p>His expression twisted as he began to come, letting out a roar of pent-up frustration and anger as he pulsed inside of me. </p>
<p>Ren had his arms wrapped around me, allowing himself to fall forward, squeezing me tightly, his chin just over my shoulder. </p>
<p>“I really hate you sometimes,” he said, quietly, “And then I see how much you like it, and I hate you even more.”</p>
<p>“But you kind of like it too,” I said, patting his thigh. </p>
<p>I felt Ren’s teeth on my neck, an easy pressure. Goosebumps traveled across my skin and I sighed, leaning against him. </p>
<p>Time passed slowly as we simply breathed together. My chest rose to meet his. Both of us were clammy with sweat. </p>
<p>Wordlessly, Ren rolled off. He interlaced his fingers with mine as we both lay on our backs. </p>
<p>There was a skylight above the bed. We found ourselves staring up at the hangar ceiling. </p>
<p>
  <b>IV</b>
</p>
<p>I dozed in the wide, comfortable bed. Ren stayed on his back, a hand resting on the pale skin between his chest and his belly. </p>
<p>Eventually I yawned and stretched, feeling warm and content. </p>
<p>I turned to Ren, kissing his cheek. “What do you say we take this bird out for a spin?” I said with an excited smile. </p>
<p>“Yeah, let’s do that,” Ren said, beginning to push himself up. </p>
<p>His eyes fell to the healing burn on my arm and shoulder, where he had dug the side prong of his lightsaber into my skin. </p>
<p>Another scar. </p>
<p>“Let me see yours,” I said. </p>
<p>Ren swung his legs over the bed. I had hit his right thigh. There was a wide, shiny burn on the upper part of his leg, closer to his hip, and it stretched around the side of his thigh. At the top, the skin was indented. I had dug my blade in deeper than I thought. </p>
<p>“You’re such an asshole,” I said with a grin, patting his leg. </p>
<p>“Lord Ymir’s never going to let me live it down, either,” he said dryly, as he stood. </p>
<p>I laughed as we walked naked down the hallway towards the cockpit, picking up the clothes we had shed. </p>
<p>Ren disappeared under layers of black. By the time we got to the cockpit, he was dressed except for his cloak, belt, and mask. </p>
<p>I got comfortable in the captain’s seat, starting to prod at the controls. </p>
<p>“Do you know what you’re doing?” Ren asked, from one of the benches. </p>
<p>“Nope,” I said cheerfully, warming up the engines. </p>
<p>Ren took a seat in the copilot’s chair, mask in hand, “It’s technology from this century. Let me know if you need some help,” he teased. After fucking for an hour, his expression was softer and more playful. </p>
<p>I was on a roll - the engines were warm, and I had the rest of the ship fully online. </p>
<p>There was a smooth hum as she came to life. </p>
<p>I contacted the tower to depart from the hangar. </p>
<p>I made my way out. Ren had to help me get the landing gear up. </p>
<p>I noticed that the rest of the TIE fighters had left the hangar. </p>
<p>We sailed up and over the base. The ship was fast and responsive. </p>
<p>“Where do you want to go?” I asked Ren, a big, dumb grin on my face. </p>
<p>“They’ve started drilling the mouth of the cannon,” Ren said, “I’ll show you how to get there.”</p>
<p>We flew east, skimming along a mountain range. </p>
<p>It was impossible not to be reminded of Otomok. I pushed those thoughts away.</p>
<p>I was having fun, taking Sawai through her paces. </p>
<p>Next to me, Ren was hunched over the console, poring through the weapons controls. </p>
<p>“She has some punch to her,” Ren said, “You really can’t tell from the outside.”</p>
<p>As we travelled towards the equator, there was smoke rising up ahead of us - a hazy wall, smearing in the wind. </p>
<p>Ren directed me to guide the ship up into atmosphere for a better view. </p>
<p>Beneath us was a vast, man-made crater, hundreds of kilometers across. </p>
<p>“That’s going to be the cannon,” Ren said, pointing out the window, “We have three hundred active drill sites for Kyber crystals, they’ll be assembled near the center of the planet to focus the energy beam.”</p>
<p>I shoved my discomfort to the side. </p>
<p>“So this is where the magic happens,” I said with a wink. </p>
<p>This is what I wanted to spare Ahobri from. She’d be horrified to know about this. </p>
<p>For a split second, I recalled the chiming cries of pain. I kept my expression neutral. </p>
<p>“Let me fly us back to the base,” Ren said, his gaze focused on the gleaming control panels. </p>
<p>“Sure,” I said, switching seats with him. </p>
<p>The flight back to base was much more exciting with Ren piloting. </p>
<p>He took her up through atmosphere, testing her acceleration, before dropping her back down towards the surface. </p>
<p>I felt my stomach lurch and found myself grinning, my feet braced against the floorboards. </p>
<p>Ren’s expression was neutral and focused, his gloved hands moving smoothly across the controls. </p>
<p>We shot through icy canyons and soared along the ridges of mountains, kicking up snow in our wake. </p>
<p>I <i>reached</i> out to Ren, feeling how he used his awareness to connect himself with the ship and the planet outside. </p>
<p>As we began the return trip, we came across a squadron of TIE fighters practicing formations. </p>
<p>We were directly in front of an enormous jagged mountain range. Ren hailed their group commander over the comms. </p>
<p>“Captain Lee, this is Kylo Ren aboard The Sawai,” he said, “I’d like to test your pilots’ tracking skills.”</p>
<p>“Yessir, I’ll assemble them,” the Captain replied, a note of excitement in his voice.  </p>
<p>Ren left the comms channel open and we heard the barked commands to get his pilots ready.</p>
<p>As soon as the Captain had the unit ready, Ren called the hunt, zipping forward in my ship. </p>
<p>I was laughing with delight as we approached the mountains, staying low to throw off the TIE fighter’s scanners. </p>
<p>“You fly like a Rebel,” I teased, bracing a hand on the dash as we suddenly flipped sideways, travelling through a jagged crevasse. </p>
<p>“They have to know what our enemy will do,” Ren replied, his gaze completely focused between the terrain and the ship’s controls. </p>
<p>One by one, TIE fighters broke off from the pack, unable to follow Ren through the narrow passages. </p>
<p>Soon, we had shaken off all six pilots. </p>
<p>“That was a good run, sir,” the Captain said over our comms. </p>
<p>“We’ll see you back at the Base,” Ren replied. </p>
<p>He slowed the theatrics for the remainder of the flight. </p>
<p>I could see familiar buildings on the horizon. </p>
<p>As we approached the yard, we noticed another unit of TIE fighters. They were practicing training routines over the forest near the Base. </p>
<p>Ren frowned, maneuvering around them. “I talked with Commander Heath about that,” he muttered. </p>
<p>“What?” I asked, turning my head, but not seeing anything unusual. </p>
<p>“I hate it when they practice so close to the yard,” Ren said with a frown, “He’s just being lazy, just so they can finish their drills before the other units.”</p>
<p>“And get to the mess hall first,” I replied with a laugh. </p>
<p>Ren gave me a look and shook his head. </p>
<p>He parked next to Rosie on the frozen landing pad. The floodlights were on in the yard, illuminating soldiers still marching. </p>
<p>The sun was just beginning to set, and I was feeling tired. The previous day had been eaten up by hyperspace travel. Maybe I’d spend the night here and leave in the morning.  </p>
<p>“I need to shuffle around some of my supplies,” I told Ren, “Where are you staying tonight?”</p>
<p>He was very happy to have me ask the question. </p>
<p>“I can stay on base,” he said. “I haven’t told you about the battle, and I don’t know anything about your last mission.”</p>
<p>He ran his gloved hands across the controls, putting the engines in their cool-down sequence. </p>
<p>“Yeah,” I replied, “I’m going to go find my pilot. I want her to stay with me tonight. I need to get her oriented.”</p>
<p>There was a shadow of disappointment in Ren’s expression, when I told him I was bringing company, “You never answered me. Does Lord Ymir know you’re taking a pilot from the Base?” he said.</p>
<p>“I’ll call him from the room,” I replied breezily. </p>
<p>Ren put his mask back on and pulled his hood up. </p>
<p>“Where’s the rest of your Knights? Are any of them here?” I asked as we strolled down the hallway. </p>
<p>I wanted to see Yuri again. </p>
<p>“Thalin and Ghent are off on assignment with General Pryde,” Ren said, “The rest are on Coyerti, assisting the new military leadership.”</p>
<p>Ymir had taken the sector and left the Knights of Ren to finish the job.</p>
<p>We exited the ship together. </p>
<p>I was heading over to Rosie and Ren was headed towards the yard, when there was a sudden shift in my awareness. </p>
<p>Instinctively, I looked up at the sky. Ren turned at the same time.</p>
<p>The squadron of TIE fighters were swooping in towards their hangar. They were moving in a very tight formation. It was too tight - the ships were too close together. </p>
<p>I watched as one ship clipped the wing of its neighbor. </p>
<p>Metal was shearing. Sparks and flames erupted from the broken wings as the ships began to careen down towards the yard - the yard was still full of marching soldiers. </p>
<p>Ren and I responded at the exact same time. We each threw out a hand, directing our energy towards the two ships and the broken shards of their flat wings, the debris tumbling towards the soldiers below.</p>
<p>Time slowed as I inhaled. Air was flowing into my lungs, expanding. I could feel the pull of gravity, guiding the ships towards the ground. I felt the natural spin, the direction each ship wanted to be moving. </p>
<p>Ren and I <i>captured</i> the two TIE fighters and broken shards of wing, <i>suspending</i> their fall. </p>
<p>My back teeth gritted with effort. From far away, I heard soldiers running and screaming, and the barks of their commanders to get them back under control. </p>
<p>With the ships pouring smoke and fire jetting from the broken stumps of their wings, Ren and I brought them down to an empty patch of concrete. </p>
<p>I found myself running towards the ships, my boots heavy on the frozen ground.  </p>
<p>Ren was surging with anger, roaring commands. </p>
<p>I could hear soldiers and officers scrambling, rushing to put out the fires. </p>
<p>The front hatch of the first ship was open. The pilot was stumbling out in a cloud of smoke. </p>
<p>The other pilot still inside the second ship, beating on the convex glass hatch. </p>
<p>A couple stormtroopers made it there before me and began trying to pry apart the twisted metal, but it wouldn’t budge.</p>
<p>I held my hand out in front of me, <i>reaching</i> through the machine, <i>pulling</i> the hatch open. </p>
<p>The pilot, coughing and wheezing, tumbled out of the smoke-filled ship and into the arms of a stormtrooper. </p>
<p>Medical personnel were rushing to the scene in military ATVs. Another group of soldiers were hustling over with extinguishers - hand-held canisters filled with heavy duty foam - spraying the ships to suppress the flames. </p>
<p>I found myself in the thick of things, adrenaline pumping through me, not sure what else I could be doing to help. </p>
<p>At the edge of the yard, Ren was still yelling. I spotted Phasma at his side, her chrome armor gleaming in the floodlights. </p>
<p>The pilots were being loaded up into the ATV. They’d be taken to the med bay. </p>
<p>It looked like the soldiers had the fire under control. </p>
<p>A stormtrooper was standing at my side, just as stunned as I was. </p>
<p>“You saved us,” he said, through the ‘feed of his helmet. His voice was hollow with shock. </p>
<p>I put a comforting hand on his shoulder, my bare hand resting on top of his white armor. </p>
<p>I said nothing. We stood together for a breath, feeling very fragile and very human. </p>
<p>With the situation under control, I made my way over to Ren and Phasma.</p>
<p>There was now a gaggle of officers gathered around them, trying to decide next steps. </p>
<p>“... I want him brought to me now!” Ren was bellowing. </p>
<p>“Yessir!” a couple of officers echoed, jogging off towards the hangar.  </p>
<p>“What would you like us to do with the soldiers currently training in the yard?” Phasma asked. </p>
<p>She was like a tree in a storm, bending and moving in the wind without breaking. This question was clearly intended to calm Ren down, appealing to his sense of authority. </p>
<p>I hoped that she and I could still be friends. </p>
<p>Ren turned his head towards the yard, crossing his arms over his chest. </p>
<p>“Have them clear the wreckage, then resume their training,” he said, voice hard, “They’ll see real combat soon, and it’s going to be worse than this.”</p>
<p>“Yes sir,” Phasma said, inclining her head respectfully. She paused for a moment as she passed by me, on her way to contact the other commanders and drill sergeants, giving me a brusque ‘Thank you’ before continuing on her path. </p>
<p>I watched her go, then I joined Ren. </p>
<p>“Fuck… that was crazy,” I said, crossing my arms. I looked out at the smoking TIE fighters shattered in the yard. </p>
<p>“It was irresponsible,” Ren growled, “He never should have had his squadron flying over the yard like that. I specifically ordered him not to.”</p>
<p>A cold chill ran through me, imagining what lay ahead for the Commander. For once, Ren’s cruelty and anger seemed justified. The squadron commander had put everyone in danger. </p>
<p>I put a hand on Ren’s shoulder, “Look, I’m going to go take care of some things on Rosie. I’ll meet you back in the rooms. We can call Ymir together.”</p>
<p>Ren nodded, “I’ll see you there.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>My legs were trembling as I made my way back to my ships. </p>
<p>Adrenaline was still humming through me, my thoughts were scattered. </p>
<p>I opened Rosie’s cargo bay and Sawai’s back hatch. </p>
<p>Slowly, I began transferring the crates to my new ship. </p>
<p>I used the Force, <i>lifting</i> two crates at a time. </p>
<p>I thought about what might have happened if Ren and I hadn’t been there. People would have died, crushed under the ships or struck by the shrapnel. </p>
<p>I had saved people.</p>
<p>It was the very first time I had used my power to help anyone besides myself. It had been terrifying in the moment, but it felt good. </p>
<p>By the time I had made the three trips between Rosie and Sawai, the sky was dark and my mind had settled. </p>
<p>The soldiers were still marching in the yard, practicing under the floodlights. I stood between my two ships, watching them, my breath puffing out in front of me. Their white armor gleamed in the bright lights. The steady rhythm of their armored feet against the ground was hypnotic. </p>
<p>I stared out at them for some time, feeling my thoughts settle. </p>
<p>I needed to go find Thess. I needed to talk with Ymir. </p>
<p>Hopefully this moment of heroism would give me some leverage as I negotiated with him about starting a crew of my own. </p>
<p>I set off towards the barracks, craving a smoke. I wound my way around back, and found a cluster of stormtroopers in their thermals and fatigues. They had been joined by a couple of younger-looking officers, and were smoking near the edge of the forest. </p>
<p>They startled when they spotted me. This wasn’t within regulations. Everyone was shaken up after the crash. </p>
<p>“Stand down,” I said, carelessly waving a hand, “I hoped someone out here might have an extra smoke.”</p>
<p>“Uh, yes, madam,” one of the officers said nervously, patting the front of his jacket. </p>
<p>He pulled out a roll of t’bac, handing it to me as the rest of the men made a place for me in their huddle. </p>
<p>I leaned forward so he could light the end. </p>
<p>“That was some show out in the yard,” I said, taking a pull of t’bac, “Crazy shit, right?” I asked, blowing smoke and cold air out. </p>
<p>The officers were nervous. It didn’t look like the stormtroopers knew who I was, except for one who was staring at me. </p>
<p>He was dark skinned and young-looking, with an open, sincere expression. </p>
<p>I met his eyes and he couldn’t help himself, “I saw you out in the yard,” he said, “Are you Lin Siniang?”</p>
<p>I grinned. </p>
<p>One of the officers barked at him, “Shut up, soldier!” </p>
<p>I turned to the officer, my smile shifting to a glare. He wilted.  I looked back at the soldier. He was looking nervous, worried he had overstepped himself. </p>
<p>“That’s me,” I told him, blowing out smoke and offering my hand, “Who’re you?”</p>
<p>“F… N… FN 2187,” he stammered, shaking my hand just a little too long.  </p>
<p>“Nice to meet you, FN 2187,” I said, taking another drag off the roll of t’bac.</p>
<p>I turned to the whole group, “I’m out here looking for a pilot. I was hoping someone could help me find her,” I said, “I don’t have her number, but her name is Thess. Anybody know her? She’s tiny, about forty kilos, covered in tattoos…”</p>
<p>“Is this about the crash?” another stormtrooper asked, feeling empowered. </p>
<p>The same officer started to respond, then thought better of it and said nothing. </p>
<p>“No, it’s not about the crash. I have other business with her.”</p>
<p>The second officer turned to me, “If I may, Madam, the pilots are all in a safety briefing right now, but I can find her unit commander and… have her report to you?”</p>
<p>Gods, a fucking safety briefing after the fact. It didn’t matter what military a person was in, everyone was subjected to the same baanthashit procedures. </p>
<p>I was nodding to the officer, “Thanks. I’m in room five-five-two in the main building. She needs to have her gear packed, so give her whatever she needs. She’ll be leaving with me on assignment,” I told him. </p>
<p>I strolled away from their group, tossing the stub of t’bac into the snow when I was done. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>When I returned to the suite, I found Ren in the sitting room, resting heavily in a chair. His mask was sitting on the low table. He glowered into the distance. </p>
<p>“Tear the commander a new asshole?” I asked, striding over to the liquor cabinet. </p>
<p>“He’s in the brig,” Ren answered, sitting up straighter, “Let’s call Lord Ymir.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” I said, pouring two glasses of whiskey, “Also, I’m going to need some time to talk to him privately after you’re done.”</p>
<p>“About what?” Ren asked, clearly not understanding the point of a private conversation. </p>
<p>“Him and Ekene,” I lied. </p>
<p>Ren’s lip curled in confusion. He was not interested enough to ask me any more questions. </p>
<p>I took a seat next to him on the sofa while he pulled out the holoprojector. </p>
<p>“You can be the one to tell him about Rajendra’s ship,” Ren said, as he pulled up the screen. </p>
<p>“My ship!” I shot back with a grin, “Also, Thess is going to come up here at some point. They told me all the pilots were in a safety briefing. I’m going to have her stay here tonight.”</p>
<p>“Where do you expect her to sleep?” Ren asked, his brows drawing together. </p>
<p>“My room,” I said, giving him a sweet smile, “I thought I’d stay with you tonight.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” Ren wasn’t going to complain about me spending the night with him. </p>
<p>He punched in Ymir’s line. </p>
<p>Ymir’s face pulled up on the screen. His eyes looked tired. Behind him I recognized his office at the Estate. </p>
<p>“Kylo Ren, Siobhan,” he greeted, “I was notified of the accident on the Base today.”</p>
<p>“It was Commander Heath’s squadron,” Ren said, taking the lead on the conversation, “He ignored my direct orders and had his unit practicing formations directly over the yard. One of his pilots took a turn too sharply and clipped the wing of the ship next to him. Siobhan and I were able to catch the ships before they crashed.”</p>
<p>“I was told there weren’t any casualties,” Ymir said with respect in his voice. </p>
<p>“There were none,” Ren confirmed. </p>
<p>“That’s very good,” Ymir said, “This is the first time our soldiers have seen your true power.”</p>
<p>Fuck. Everything was politics with this man. </p>
<p>“I’m just glad we were able to stop the accident,” I said, “A lot of people could have been hurt.”</p>
<p>Ymir acknowledged me with a nod. “And Commander Heath?” Ymir asked Ren. </p>
<p>“He’s in the brig,” Ren answered, “I’ll be demoting him.” </p>
<p>“Put him in one of the labor crews for a few weeks,” Ymir said, “He can rejoin as a rank-and-file pilot.”</p>
<p>“Yes, Lord Ymir,” Ren said, stiff and respectful. </p>
<p>“Anything else?” Ymir asked, glancing away for a second. </p>
<p>I had no idea what him and Ekene were doing at the Estate, but Ekene made it sound like they had unpleasant business to settle. </p>
<p>“I need to talk with you about a few things,” I said, “I won’t take much of your time.”</p>
<p>Ymir regarded me, not used to the politeness, “Alright,” he said, “You have five minutes.”</p>
<p>I nodded. </p>
<p>Ren put a friendly hand on my shoulder before he stood from the couch, walking to the main room so Ymir and I could talk alone. </p>
<p>“What is it?” Ymir asked, once we were alone. </p>
<p>“I have a couple of updates with my assignment,” I told him, “Tynne said that I’ll be meeting with the entire Smuggler’s Alliance in the next couple of weeks. I am also working on getting a sit-down with Sul Haak,” I said, setting the stage. </p>
<p>“I appreciate your swift progress,” Ymir said, wanting me to get to the point. </p>
<p>“I’ve been thinking about putting a crew of my own together,” I said. Ymir raised an eyebrow. “I just spent twenty four hours making hyperspace jumps,” I continued, “and I’ve wanted a pilot and assistants for a while now. And I’ve found a couple people I like.”</p>
<p>He crossed his arms over his chest.</p>
<p>“There’s a pilot I met on Base. Her name is Thess. I’m going to be taking her with me,” I said. </p>
<p>I gave a pause to see if Ymir had anything to add, but he was quiet, allowing me to finish. </p>
<p>This was going to be the tough part. I took a breath, “I’ve employed a friend of mine, to work as my assistant.”</p>
<p>Ymir stared at me, “Siobhan…” he said, his voice low and dangerous. </p>
<p>“I wrote about her in the report, Viqui, she helped get me the meeting with Boz,” I said, words tumbling out of my mouth, “I’ve hired her. She’s going to be helping me manage these connections and relationships.”</p>
<p>“What does she know?” Ymir growled. His expression was dark. </p>
<p>“A lot,” I said, automatically deflecting. I took a breath, gathering myself, “She knows I’m a Sith, and that I work for the First Order.”</p>
<p>Ymir’s gaze had a crushing weight to it. My chest felt tight with fear.</p>
<p>“When did all this happen?” he asked. </p>
<p>“When I was arranging the deal with Boz,” I answered, semi-truthfully. </p>
<p>“Ekene said I should expect a call like this from you,” Ymir sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.</p>
<p>“He said I should come clean,” I said apologetically. </p>
<p>“You should have told me the truth. From the beginning.”</p>
<p>“I knew you wouldn’t like the idea,” I said. </p>
<p>Ymir sighed heavily. “It sounds like the damage is already done,” he said, “You have someone close to you that knows your position and affiliation.”</p>
<p>“And she works for me now,” I said, standing my ground. </p>
<p>“How are you paying her?” Ymir asked. </p>
<p>“With my money,” I answered, immediately regretting it. </p>
<p>“With the First Order’s money,” Ymir corrected. He glanced to the side again, his mouth twisting down. “And, of course you have this news for me, right as I’m wading through this mess with Ekene…” he grumbled. </p>
<p>“I didn’t know anything about that,” I said. </p>
<p>Ymir looked up, staring right into my eyes through the holoscreen. </p>
<p>“We are going to need to have a longer conversation about this. I’m upset that you hid this from me.”</p>
<p>He was also upset that I got away with it for so long. </p>
<p>Ymir took a breath, “I’m livid, actually. But I’ll give this some thought before responding officially.”</p>
<p>“I’m headed off to Artrix tomorrow, I think. I can go over the expansion strategy with Ren and Hux, then I’ll start arranging a meeting with Sul Haak.”</p>
<p>Ymir’s mouth was pressed together in a line, “Alright, Siobhan,” he said. </p>
<p>“Oh, and I got a new ship!” I added quickly.</p>
<p>The line went dead. </p>
<p>I slumped back in my seat, my heart pounding. </p>
<p>I tipped back the rest of the glass of whiskey and joined Ren in the suite. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>It had already been a long fucking day. I was ready to unwind. </p>
<p>Whatever was going to happen with Ymir would happen in its own time. </p>
<p>Thess would be here soon. </p>
<p>I ordered food for three from the console, and carried the bottle of whiskey into the suite’s main room. </p>
<p>Ren was on the sofa. His mask and cloak were resting on top of a nearby chair. </p>
<p>“So tell me about the mission,” I said, dropping onto the sofa and wriggling my head onto his lap. </p>
<p>I held my whiskey glass in two hands, resting it on my belly. </p>
<p>Ren’s story was much more realistic than Hux’s. They had spearheaded a military coup, but a third of the military remained loyal to the Prime Minister and had rallied the citizens to form militias across the sector.  </p>
<p>The loyalists had set up an extra-planetary blockade to defend their system. Ren and Yuri led the squadrons that took out the military ships, clearing the way for vehicles and ground troops.. </p>
<p>Ymir and Adram had stormed the capitol building. There were heavy casualties across the sector on both sides. Countless civilians had been killed in the fighting. </p>
<p>“Hux made it sound like it was an overwhelming victory,” I said. </p>
<p>“Of course he did,” Ren replied, his black hair swaying as he shook his head. </p>
<p>I thought about sharing my story of intimidating Hux, but I decided to keep it to myself. Hux was a slippery person, and I was sure he could pull some strings for me down the road. </p>
<p>Service droids were entering to serve a meal. </p>
<p>I wondered where Thess was. How long could the briefing be? How much did she have to pack?</p>
<p>We sat down at the table. My stomach growled as I picked up my utensil. </p>
<p>Ren arched an eyebrow. </p>
<p>“I am getting so fucking sick of all these hyperspace jumps,” I complained, taking a bite of meat, “I don’t know when to eat or when to sleep. I’m just in this fucking tin can going from one corner of the Mid-Rim to the other.”</p>
<p>“Why did Rajendra give you a ship?” Ren asked, pointedly. </p>
<p>“He must have heard about Rosie,” I said, dodging the question, taking a large bite. </p>
<p>The console buzzed again. </p>
<p>“That must be Thess,” I said, pushing the chair back, “Be nice to her. She’s shy.”</p>
<p>I left the main suite and strode through the sitting room, opening the door to the hallway. </p>
<p>An officer, tall and well dressed stood in the hallway. </p>
<p>Thess stood in front of him, wearing fatigues, clutching her duffel bag to her chest. The geometric tattoos on her cheeks made her face look angular, and I could see the tattoos on her hands. </p>
<p>“That’ll be all,” I said, dismissing the officer. “Thess, come on in,” I greeted warmly, ushering her inside. “I thought they were going to keep you in that briefing all fucking night,” I continued, “I had food sent up and I opened a bottle of whiskey.”</p>
<p>We entered the main suite. Ren was sitting on the sofa with his mask on, a tablet in hand. </p>
<p>Thess stiffened in fear. </p>
<p>“That’s Kylo Ren,” I introduced, helpfully, “Ren, this is Thess, my pilot.”</p>
<p>He silently looked up. He sat like an impassive shadow, taking in the petite girl with her shaved head and tattoos. </p>
<p>Thess stared at him. Her shoulders were tight. The duffel bag she was holding looked like a shield now. </p>
<p>They didn’t say a word to each other. </p>
<p>“He’s always that friendly, so you can just get used to that,” I cut in, steering her towards the table. </p>
<p>I shot a look towards Ren, but he was already looking down at his tablet again. </p>
<p>I guided Thess into a seat and took her duffel bag, setting it outside the door to my room. </p>
<p>“Help yourself. I just ate,” I said. </p>
<p>Thess sat at the table, folding her legs up in the chair. </p>
<p>She took the lid off her food and stared at it. </p>
<p>I took a seat across from her, pouring both of us a glass of whiskey. </p>
<p>“Hey,” I said, looking at her. </p>
<p>She looked up at me with wide yellow-ish eyes. With her shaved head, her eyes seemed even larger in her small face. The girl hadn’t said a single word yet. </p>
<p>“How are you doing?” I asked. </p>
<p>“Surprised,” she answered, in that strange soft voice. </p>
<p>I nodded, “I want you to have a drink and a meal, and we can talk about what’s going on.”</p>
<p>She leaned forward, suddenly, eyes fixed on me, “You save pilots.”</p>
<p>That caught Ren’s attention. His head swivelled at her strange voice and bad Galactic Standard. </p>
<p>“Me and Ren did,” I told her. </p>
<p>“I flying. Hear about it,” she said, sitting back down in her chair, “It’s good.”</p>
<p>I laughed, picking up my glass. “I did what I could,” I told her. </p>
<p>She lifted her glass. </p>
<p>“To living one more day,” I toasted with a grin. </p>
<p>“One more day,” Thess echoed. </p>
<p>Ren did not stay in the suite for long. He was clearly irritated to have a stranger in the rooms - and Thess wasn’t just a stranger, but a conscripted soldier. </p>
<p>He retreated to his rooms, the door whooshing shut behind him. </p>
<p>“Seriously, he’s always like that. Just get used to it,” I told her. </p>
<p>She gave me a skeptical look. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I chatted with Thess while she ate, probing for information about what happened after I left. </p>
<p>She had avoided Phasma, but it didn’t sound like anyone had given her a hard time. </p>
<p>I asked her more questions about her smuggling experience. </p>
<p>“Ithan people, small group,” Thess explained as she ate, “All smugglers, local work.”</p>
<p>“So not a lot of hyperspace jumps?”</p>
<p>Thess shook her head. </p>
<p>“That’s good,” I told her, “Local jobs are harder.”</p>
<p>She gave me a shy smile. </p>
<p>It was the truth. Smuggling contraband from one corner of the Galaxy to another really wasn’t that hard. Hyperspace lanes made it easy to escape and fly undetected. Smuggling in a local system required much more cleverness. There were more checkpoints, more ways to get caught. </p>
<p>“So far, I’m doing diplomatic work,” I continued, “Nothing has gotten violent yet, but I want someone who can hold their own in a firefight.”</p>
<p>Thess gave me a serious nod, “Can fight.”</p>
<p>I set expectations for her employment. She’d be flying Ahobri and me on the different legs of my assignment. She’d be responsible for fuel and basic maintenance checks, catching problems before they started, and making minor repairs. </p>
<p>For that work, I’d pay her five hundred credits per cycle, with the potential for bonus pay depending on what arose during the mission. I’d be providing housing and food. She could plan time to visit her family on Fedje. </p>
<p>“I have some good news,” I told her, refilling her whiskey glass. </p>
<p>Thess looked up at me expectantly. </p>
<p>“I have a new ship,” I told her with a grin. “But the bad news is that I’m going to have you pilot my old ship back to Artrix.”</p>
<p>“New ship better?” Thess asked, with a sly smile. </p>
<p>I laughed, “It’s much better,” I told her, “Did you see Rosie in the yard?”</p>
<p>She nodded, taking a drink. </p>
<p>“My new ship is right next to her.”</p>
<p>Her eyes widened, “Much better.”</p>
<p>“So we’re leaving tomorrow,” I told her, “I’m not sure when. I might have a couple of meetings and other shit to take care of.”</p>
<p>“Call from drills?”</p>
<p>I tilted my head, not understanding her, “Huh?”</p>
<p>“I drills. You call me. Ready,” she repeated, screwing up her face as she thought of new words. </p>
<p>She was still expecting to be out in the yard with her unit tomorrow. </p>
<p>I shook my head, “No. You’re staying with me here. In these rooms,” I explained, “I’ll let you know what the schedule is tomorrow.”</p>
<p>Thess’s brows drew together in surprise. She gave me a serious look, “Here?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” I confirmed with a smile. </p>
<p>I motioned for her to finish her drink, and I poured us fresh glasses.  I held up my cup, crystal sparkling in the light. </p>
<p>“You work for me now,” I said, hoping she understood what I meant. </p>
<p>Thess would be working for me, not the First Order. </p>
<p>She made a curt nod. </p>
<p>“To clear skies,” I toasted. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I showed Thess to my room. She stood, staring blankly at the large bed, furniture, attached bathroom and shower. </p>
<p>This space was all hers for the night. I doubted she had ever had a room like this to herself before. </p>
<p>I gave her three hundred credits. “This is your payment, for helping fix the wiring on Rosie,” I told her. “I’m going to hit the sack. I’ll let you know the plan tomorrow.”</p>
<p>Thess turned to me, her eyes wide and sincere, “Thank you.”</p>
<p>I patted her shoulder, “I like you. I think we’ll work well together.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>When I entered Ren’s rooms, he was in bed with his shirt off, a tablet resting on his knees. </p>
<p>“So that’s your pilot?” he asked, amusement dancing in his dark eyes. </p>
<p>“Yeah,” I replied, “I like her a lot.”</p>
<p>“She’s unusual,” Ren said, “What’s wrong with her?”</p>
<p>I sighed and rolled my eyes, “You were a fucking dick to her. What did you expect?” </p>
<p>“She’s a conscript. I don’t know her.”</p>
<p>I took a seat on the bed, roughly unlacing my boots. “You’re hopeless,” I muttered. </p>
<p>“You’re a bitch,” Ren shot back. </p>
<p>I grinned, swiftly climbing over Ren and straddling him in bed, “I’m about to be a bitch with a crew of her own.”</p>
<p>“The Knights of Zhang?” Ren teased, nipping at my bottom lip. “One miniature pilot?”</p>
<p>“I have my eye on a few more people,” I said. </p>
<p>Ren set his tablet down. He ran his hands up my chest, squeezing my breasts. </p>
<p>“I want to train with you tomorrow,” he said, feeling for the barbells, tugging at them, “It’s been a long time since it was just me and you.”</p>
<p>“Want to practice throwing TIE fighters across the yard?” I teased. </p>
<p>Ren growled, flipping me underneath him. “I liked doing that. I could feel you,” he growled. </p>
<p>We fucked one last time, panting and gasping together. </p>
<p>I fell asleep in his arms, his chin resting on my shoulder, his calm breath in my ear.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I had so much fun writing this chapter! We've reached a different kind of turning point from her mission on Otomok. We'll see what direction Siobhan goes and if she's able to keep up this momentum. </p>
<p>So, I'm still not certain what is happening in the upcoming week. I might be out in the woods for a few days. If that's the case, there won't be a Wednesday post, but there's a chance I might get snowed out again, in which case there will be a post. So check back. Definitely expect something next Saturday!</p>
<p>Also, it just looks like chapters are longer now... If people have particularly strong feelings about chapter length, let me know. I'm open to feedback if folks want to see more bite-sized posts. It's so much fun to be bringing all these threads together, but it's a lot of reading. </p>
<p>As always, thanks so much for following this story. I love to hear your thoughts in the comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. A Crew of Her Own</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kylo Ren and Siobhan are heroes after stopping two TIE fighters from crashing on top of First Order conscripts training in the yard. </p><p>Siobhan has her pilot, Thess, and plans to return to Artrix to put her team together. </p><p>Things are looking up, but there are problems on the horizon as Rajendra tries to pull Siobhan into a plot to kill the head of the First Order…</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for your patience during the short break in posting. </p><p>I’m grateful to not be living in a big city right now, but I’m also smack-dab in the center of tourist country. We’re starting to get more serious about corona virus and social distancing - most of our shops and restaurants are closed during one of their peak seasons for profit. </p><p>For all of you navigating upsets with work-school-travel-childcare-mental and physical health -- sending everyone a lot of love right now!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>I</b>
</p><p>Ren was the one to wake me, running a hand down my back. </p><p>It wasn’t until I was sitting up, stretching in bed, that I remembered where I was. </p><p>There had been so many planets, so many hyperspace jumps. I had to think back through where I had been to remember that we were on Starkiller Base, not The Finalizer.</p><p>“Get dressed. We’re training,” Ren said. It sounded like he was in a good mood. </p><p>I pushed the blankets off, scrounging for my clothes from the day before. </p><p>Ren had the lights on, pulling layers of black robes over himself. </p><p>He left the room first, mask in hand, and I heard a surprised sound from beyond the door. </p><p>I shuffled lazily out into the suite, carrying my boots and coat. My belt with my lightsabers was slung over my shoulder. </p><p>There was only one light on in the main suite. Thess was on the sofa, wearing her fatigues, her knees pulled up to her chin. </p><p>Ren was securing his mask over his face. </p><p>Neither seemed pleased with the interaction. </p><p>“You don’t have to be up for anything,” I told Thess, cutting through the tension in the room. </p><p>“Wake up drill time,” Thess said, running a tattooed hand over her closely buzzed hair. Her head bobbed nervously.</p><p>“Yeah, I know the feeling,” I told her, “Ren and I are going out to train for a few hours.”</p><p>He had his arms crossed, staring at me through his black visor. </p><p>“After that, I think we’ll be heading out,” I continued, “You can use any of the consoles to order food for yourself, whatever you need.”</p><p>Thess gave me an uncertain nod. </p><p>“Don’t touch anything that isn’t yours,” Ren said, sweeping out of the room. </p><p>I rolled my eyes, dropping my jacket over the back of a chair and securing my belt with lightsabers around my waist. </p><p>“Touch whatever you want. He’s not going to do anything,” I assured Thess. </p><p>“I work on Rosie?” she asked. </p><p>“She doesn’t need any work,” I said, shrugging my coat on, “Put your feet up. Watch something on the holoprojector. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”</p><p>To make my point, I turned on a few more lights, then typed a message through the console, that I was hosting Thess in my room and she should have access to whatever she needed. </p><p>I didn’t get the sense that she would take advantage of the hospitality. </p><p>When I made it down to the yard, Ren was standing with Phasma and three other officers I didn’t know. </p><p>They were nervous and respectful as I joined their group. I shook hands. </p><p>It was morning, and the sky was a flat gray. The floodlights were still on in the yard. </p><p>The drill sergeants had the soldiers running the perimeter in neatly organized units. </p><p>I felt Phasma’s attention on me. She was tense. </p><p>The last time we had spoken, she lectured me on being drunk and disorderly. She accused me of sleeping my way into my high position. </p><p>Now she understood what it meant to be a Sith. Ren and I had stopped two TIE fighters from crashing into the yard. We had saved hundreds of lives. No one else could have done what we did. </p><p>Ren wasn’t one to hang around making small talk. “Let’s go,” he said as soon as I made introductions. </p><p>The two of us set off into the woods. </p><p>Everything was becoming familiar. </p><p>“I don’t like that girl being left in our rooms,” Ren said as we trudged through the snow. The audiofeed made him sound even grumpier. </p><p>“Aw, c’mon,” I replied, “What’s she going to do?”</p><p>“I’m sure she can find a way to cause trouble.”</p><p>“She’s terrified of you, and I’m paying her more money than she’s ever had before. I think we’ll be fine,” I replied breezily. </p><p>“How do you even know her?” Ren asked. </p><p>For a split second, I considered lying, but I didn’t see how the truth could hurt anything. </p><p>“Remember when we were coming down the mountain, after that meditation with your Knights?” I began with a grin. </p><p>“That’s who you found in the trees?”</p><p>“We had a little heart-to-heart,” I answered, “I didn’t think I’d ever see her again. I figured she’d wind up in one of the labor crews.”</p><p>“I’m surprised that she didn’t,” Ren grumbled. </p><p>We were approaching a familiar clearing. </p><p>There was an uneven circle hemmed in by tall dark trees. Snow filtered softly from the sky. </p><p>Ymir had taken me here for a walking meditation, after my meltdown in the Kyber caves. </p><p>I made a long deep exhale, enjoying the way my breath puffed like smoke in front of me. </p><p>“We’re heroes now,” I said with a ragged kind of smile, “Did you notice the way those officers were looking at us?”</p><p>“They’re frightened of us,” Ren replied, unhooking his lightsaber hilt. </p><p>“I’ve never used this power to help anyone besides myself before,” I said, taking lightsaber hilts off my belt.</p><p>We strode towards the center of the clearing. </p><p>“Are you starting to get a taste for the Light?” Ren teased, activating his blade. It crackled red and ominous against the snow and dark forest. </p><p>“Why not?” I grinned, my twin blades humming green in my hands. </p><p>“I liked feeling you at my side yesterday,” Ren said. </p><p>He was <i>reaching</i> for me, an invitation. </p><p>I stood across from him, snow drifting down onto our shoulders. I took a breath, sinking into that shared space of the Force with him. </p><p>Our first movements were slow and smooth. Ren made the first swing, easily deflected. I blocked him with my right arm, lunging with my left. </p><p>This was more of a meditation than a physical practice. </p><p>Ren wasn’t on the offensive, lashing out to find an opening or a weakness. Our bodies were moving in sync, winding a trail through the snowdrifts. Our minds were connected, more open than I had been with him for a long time. </p><p>We were joined in the Darkside, <i>reaching</i> into that vast, bottomless well of power. </p><p>The motions of our feet and arms, the glowing blades in our hand became a dance. Ren could see my intentions, where I planned to move, and I sensed him. </p><p>Ren’s emotions were centered and focused, but at the edges there were flares of frustration and jealousy. </p><p>I liked being in sync like this. In this deep place of meditation, our emotions bounced off of one another.</p><p>I was reminded of Otomok, the thrill of boarding the First Order ship, play-acting that we were Resistance fighters, blasters in hand, pushing ahead, stormtroopers falling at our feet. </p><p>My thoughts turned sour. Our heroism was even more of a betrayal. Two days later we had taken the freedom fighter’s home base - their entire cell.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>That whole time, I never felt the doubt in your heart.</p>
</blockquote><p>Ren said. </p><p>Connected like this, he could feel the ebb and flow of my thoughts. </p><p>Ren made an overhand swing, easily blocked. I let him push far into the swing, hoping to throw him off balance. He used his momentum to try to pin my blade. </p><p>I heaved for breath, lifting upwards. </p><p>“Ymir brought me here… to meditate… after the caves,” I said, throwing Ren off me. </p><p>We circled. </p><p>I was <i>reaching</i> into the Kyber crystals. Ren followed me.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>What do you feel from the planet?</p>
</blockquote><p>I asked. </p><p>We moved through physical space. Swords in hand, feet pushing through snow drifts, air expanding our lungs. My breath puffed in large clouds in front of me. </p><p>With our spirits connected, I followed Ren, and his exploration of the Kyber energy.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>It’s raw power. We’re shaping it.</p>
</blockquote><p>Ren answered pridefully. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> for him, the sensations he felt. There was that same chorus. It was loud, vibrant, and strained.</p><p>There was a layer of depth that surprised me. Ren’s lightsaber was made with a crystal from these caves. He held a connection point in his hand. </p><p>Ren made a volley of attacks against me, driving forward. </p><p>I fended him off, but I had to retreat, making a backwards path through the snow, feet sliding over hidden rocks.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>It feels like we’re chewing up the planet.</p>
</blockquote><p>I said, sharing my impression of the clearcutting, mining - floating above the mouth of the cannon. He heard the pained chorus of the Kyber crystals, mourning as they were ripped from the earth.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>We’re destroying this place, to build the power to destroy more.</p>
</blockquote><p>My words hit a chord, but Ren didn’t hear it the way I did. </p><p>There was pride rising in him, jagged and fiery.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Through power, I gain victory.</p>
</blockquote><p>Ren said, quoting the Sith code. </p><p>A cold pang ran through my heart. </p><p>I adjusted my grip on my lightsabers, returning a volley of swings towards Ren. The two blades twirled, blazing green against the snow.</p><p>“This is the seat of our new Empire,” Ren said, “Where Vader failed, I’ll succeed.” His jaw clenched with the effort of holding me off.</p><p>I could feel his heart. He meant it. It was the same kind of unshakeable resolve I felt from Ymir. </p><p>Where the Empire had failed, they would triumph. </p><p>Our sparring practice was happening in slow motion. Our intentions were laid bare to each other. Linked like this, neither of us had the upper hand. </p><p>My green blades clashed against his red. He had a longer reach. I wasn’t afraid to move in close. </p><p>I stayed connected to Ren, and I began to follow his emotions. I had experienced his conflict towards his family, his mother the General, his uncle who failed him. </p><p>“My father said Vader and the Emperor were the most evil men who had ever lived,” I said, purposefully goading him.</p><p>I could feel Ren’s wicked smile behind his mask. He went on the offensive, striking heavy blows against me, still under control.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Did you feel him? In the Valley of the Dark Lords, did you feel Vader?</p>
</blockquote><p>The question took me off guard. I had my blade up to block a swing and I halted in thought. </p><p>Ren brought his blade around for another hit, and I guarded myself sloppily. </p><p>“I didn’t. What did you see in the tombs?” I asked. </p><p>Ren brought his crackling red sword in front of himself, before deactivating it. A formal pause in our match. </p><p>I thumbed the dial on my blades. </p><p>“What do you know about Darth Vader?” Ren asked, serious and sincere. </p><p>I wished he would take the damn mask off. </p><p>“Almost nothing, just what my father told me,” I answered. </p><p>“Lord Ymir hasn’t talked about him?” Ren asked. </p><p>I shook my head. </p><p>There was a thrill of hurt and surprise from Ren.</p><p>He took off his mask, fasteners rattling and hissing. His eyes were intensely fixed on me, but his expression was hard to read. “My grandfather was one of the most powerful Sith that ever lived.”</p><p>“Was he buried on Korriban?” I asked, not sure where Ren was planning to take this. </p><p>Ren shook his head, “They made a funeral pyre for him on Endor.”</p><p>I stood across from Ren, interested in hearing the story. His brows were drawn together in thought. </p><p>“Follow me. We’ll find a place to sit,” he said. </p><p>We returned to the woods, moving towards the base. </p><p>“My grandfather was born Anakin Skywalker,” Ren said as he walked, his mask hanging from two fingers, “Luke turned him to the Light before he died.”</p><p>“What?” I asked in shock. </p><p>“Lord Ymir told me he felt the moment it happened,” Ren said, striding through the snow.</p><p>“Turned to the Light?” I asked, not understanding, “What does that even mean?”</p><p>“He renounced his connection to the Darkside,” Ren explained, not looking towards me. </p><p>“Then how did you feel him on Korriban?”</p><p>There was a log half-buried in snow. Ren held out a hand, <i>sweeping</i> a layer of powder off of it. </p><p>“Like I said, Vader had a powerful connection to the Darkside. It left an impression. There’s energy in that Valley from Sith who have never been to Korriban.”</p><p>My meditation in the Valley had been  an overwhelming experience. Ymir had given me a powerful hallucinogen, guiding me through it. </p><p>“So Luke turned Darth Vader to the Light?” I said as we took a seat, “I’ve never heard anything about it.”</p><p>“I want to show you what I felt on Korriban,” Ren said, straddling the log, feet planted in the snow on either side. </p><p>I turned to face him, my hands planted on my thighs, “Okay.”</p><p>It was easy to sink into the Force again. </p><p>Ren’s memory was like a storm. There was so much pain. </p><p>I heard an unfamiliar voice in my head.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>They sense my strength, my potential, and they are afraid. </p>
</blockquote><p>I felt a son torn away from his mother. They told him he has a gift - that he needs training.</p><p>I felt rage at being constrained, made to feel like a monster for what was in his heart. </p><p>I felt the loss of a wife and children </p><p>The sensations scrabbled within me, pulling at my heart and mind. </p><p>It all became a sacrifice to the Darkside - turning pain and suffering into power. A wounded body. Wounded memories.</p><p>It was familiar.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>My mother sees the blood on my knuckles, the black eyes and split lips. </p>
  <p>She knows that I’ll just keep fighting. She’s too scared to tell me to stop. </p>
  <p>Too scared of me turning my rage against her.</p>
  <p>This power twists inside of me, formless and unexplained. </p>
  <p>It’s something wild, something I can only connect with when I fight.</p>
</blockquote><p>“You understand…” Ren said. </p><p>When I opened my eyes, I saw that we were both crying, tears moving cold down my cheeks. </p><p>“My Uncle lost his hand fighting Vader,” Ren said, “That was the memory I sensed before he tried to kill me.”</p><p>“Gods… I didn’t know any of this,” I said, taking Ren’s hand, “My father told me that Vader was a monster, and that Luke killed him. Luke killed the Emperor.”</p><p>“My mother told me that Vader did horrible things, and hurt many people, but he redeemed himself in death. He was the one who killed Palpatine,” Ren said, looking away. His expression was drawn and bitter, “Luke almost never talked about it. I think that he knew he could be swayed to the Darkside if he let himself fall into that memory.”</p><p>He took a breath, “It’s always hanging in the balance. Anakin defected from the Jedi teachings, his son drew him back towards the Light, but the experience wounded Luke’s soul. I have two legacies to follow, the Dark and the Light intertwined.”</p><p>“Then why not follow both?” I asked. </p><p>Ren’s laugh was sudden and sharp, “Because each taints the other,” he said, “The Dark taints the Light and the Light weakens the Dark. They can’t exist together. They are separate and in balance.”</p><p>“Nothing’s separate,” I shot back, “If I’ve learned one thing from meditation, it’s that.”</p><p>“Then why don’t you have a connection with the Light?” Ren sneered, “It exists the same as the Darkside. You’ve felt it. I’ve showed you.”</p><p>I balked, “I don’t know how to connect with it.”</p><p>“Because your connection with the Force is through pain and fear. They exist separately.”</p><p>Ren was leaning forward to kiss me, fierce and hungry. </p><p>I felt his teeth against my tongue, biting at my bottom lip. </p><p>“You give me hope that we’ll see the rise of a new Sith Empire,” Ren said, his gloved hand grazing along my cheek, “Your connection is pure. There can be more people like you. Untouched by the Light.”</p><p>A shiver rolled down my spine. I didn’t like the gleam in his eyes. </p><p>“You talk about it like it’s an accomplishment. It’s not something that I did on purpose,” I said, mouth twisting to the side, “It’s not something I’m proud of.”</p><p>“But you like the power,” Ren said, eyes fixed on mine. </p><p>Yesterday we had stopped two TIE fighters in mid-air. They were completely under our control. It was incredible, exhilarating. </p><p>“I do,” I answered. </p><p>***</p><p>We walked back to Base side by side, each of us occupied with our thoughts from the meditation. </p><p>Ren put his mask back on, not intending for any of the soldiers to see his face. </p><p>“I’ve been thinking about finding Luke again,” Ren said, breaking the silence between us. </p><p>Our footsteps crunched through the snow together for a couple of paces. </p><p>“Soon?” I asked. </p><p>“Within the next few cycles, in between assignments,” Ren said, “Would you come with me?”</p><p>“Fuck,” I said, reflexively, “Hunting down Luke Skywalker?” The smile tugging at my lips felt twisted, “I mean, why not,” I said, “It’ll be like spitting on my father’s grave.”</p><p>Ren turned to look at me, hearing the sharp sarcasm in my voice. </p><p>This was the reason why I didn’t want to be on this Base or be stationed on the Finalizer. </p><p>I wanted to stick to my deals, and make some money, not get roped into someone else’s revenge story. </p><p>We lapsed back into silence. </p><p>“So you’re really letting that girl you just met pilot your old ship,” Ren said. </p><p>“Yeah, she spent an entire afternoon helping me re-wire her,” I replied. </p><p>“What’s to stop her from just flying off to wherever she wants?” Ren said, “Tell me you’re at least putting a tracker on board.”</p><p>I frowned, “I’m not worried about it.”</p><p>I hadn’t thought of it as an option. The girl was very nervous. I didn’t have the feeling she was going to try to pull something behind my back. Still…</p><p>There was a sudden realization. The ship Raj had given me was probably bugged to the gills. I needed to give her a thorough search before I went to Artrix. </p><p>Ren brought up another task, “We don’t have an official expansion strategy yet. Lord Ymir told me it would be complete when you returned to Base.”</p><p>The yard was within view now. I could hear the soldiers and officers up ahead. </p><p>“It’s pretty much done,” I said, “I need to spend some time reviewing data from our probes, but I have the plan and schedule put together."</p><p>Ren glanced over, clearly not expecting me to be prepared. </p><p>“I told you. I’ve been making non-stop hyperspace jumps. Even if I waste three quarters of the time, I still have hours to get work done.”</p><p>“I’ll call the Vice Admiral. We should finish this briefing before you leave.”</p><p>“Nothing but fun around here,” I sighed. </p><p>“Welcome to being a soldier,” Ren replied. His disappointment was clear through the ‘feed.</p><p>“I need to take care of some things before I’m ready for the Finalizer,” I told him, “I wanted to say hello to Astrid, then finish getting Thess oriented, and get all my stuff moved into the Sawai. So, maybe another six hours.”</p><p>It would take time to search Sawai from top to bottom. </p><p>“I don’t have anything else to do here,” Ren replied, “Call us when you’re on your way up.”</p><p>“Yeah, sure thing.”</p><p>We parted ways near the Main Building. </p><p>I continued on to the Command Center. Thess should be able to keep herself occupied for a few more minutes while I dropped in on Astrid. </p><p>This time I quickly found the Medical Wing, easily working my way to Astrid’s office. </p><p>She was standing at her console array, her face bathed in blue light. </p><p>As soon as she saw me, she startled. She quickly walked over to open her door. </p><p>She wrapped me in a hug. This was not her usual style. </p><p>“I heard about what happened in the yard,” she said, squeezing me, “That’s just… incredible.”</p><p>I hugged her back. </p><p>“It all happened so suddenly. I wasn’t even thinking,” I said, brushing off the compliment. </p><p>Astrid was ushering me into her office and showing me to a chair, “Can I get you anything?” </p><p>“Oh, don’t be like that,” I said with a smile, shrugging off my jacket, “I was coming by to see how you were doing.”</p><p>Astrid’s blue eyes were sparkling. I could just look at her all day - the red in her hair, the touch of red in her cheeks, her full lips. </p><p>Astrid took the chair next to me, reaching for my hand, “You have to tell me what happened. Everyone has been talking.”</p><p>I smiled, “Oh, I see, you want the gossip straight from the source?”</p><p>Astrid gave my hand a sharp pat. </p><p>I winked, then started the story, “It really did come out of nowhere. Ren and I were leaving my ship, just going about our day, and I just got this sense, right before it happened,” I said, “Ren felt it at the same time I did. The Commander had his unit flying too tight in formation and one of them clipped his neighbor’s wing. Then they were going down. I, we, acted on instinct.”</p><p>Astrid was looking at me with rapt attention. </p><p>“Ren and I moved at the exact same time,” I continued, making the story more dramatic, “I could feel everything, the pilot inside, the way the ship wanted to be spinning, gravity tugging it down, everything. It really could have been a disaster.”</p><p>I paused, “I’m just glad we were there. If we had stayed out flying another ten minutes, or if we had come in earlier... I don’t think we would have been able to do anything.”</p><p>“I’m sure Lord Ymir is proud of both of you,” Astrid said. </p><p>I fought a grimace, remembering how Ren and Ymir had both dismissed the experience of the soldiers in the yard. </p><p>“Do you know how the pilots are?” I asked. </p><p>Astrid gave a curt nod, “They’re going to be fine,” she said, “One of them has a broken wrist. The other has burns and a mild concussion. Nothing our doctors can’t fix.”</p><p>Then they’d be shipped out on the front lines. </p><p>“I’m glad,” I told her, meeting her eyes, “That’s enough about me. Tell me about you.”</p><p>Astrid and her team had been busy. The end of basic was just a couple of weeks away, then they would be compiling data from their last round of tests and studies. After that, it would be a week until the new shipment of recruits arrived</p><p>Then they would be entering another period of tests and studies. </p><p>“Siobhan, compared to what you’re doing, you can’t possibly find this interesting,” Astrid said with an indulgent smile.</p><p>I liked it when she used my real name. </p><p>“It’s something you’re doing, so it’s interesting,” I told her. </p><p>Astrid blushed, even as she tried to look frustrated that I was flirting. </p><p>“You look well,” she said, regaining her composure. </p><p>“I think I’m doing all right, better than I was,” I said. </p><p>Our visit was coming to an end. I got to my feet, coat draped over my arm. </p><p>“It’s always good to see you,” Astrid said, giving me another hug, kissing my cheek, “What’s your next assignment?”</p><p>“I’m headed off to strike a deal with the Hutts,” I said with a wink, “Keep them from stealing our supplies and recruits.”</p><p>“Take care of yourself.”</p><p>“I always try.”</p><p>If I could take Astrid with me I would, but her place was here. She liked her work. She was doing what she wanted to be doing. </p><p>The next time we saw each other, I hoped we’d get some time alone. </p><p>I left her office with a smile and sway in my hips. </p><p>I enjoyed it while I could. There was a long day of work ahead of me. </p><p>
  <b>II</b>
</p><p>When I returned to the suite, I found Thess in my room with the door open, sitting on top of my bed fully dressed in her fatigues and boots. She had her knees pulled up to her chin again. </p><p>“Thess, please don’t tell me you were just sitting here all morning,” I said, taking a seat next to her, feet splaying on the floor. </p><p>She shook her head, “Ren here. Scary. I wait.”</p><p>“Did he do anything?” I asked, trying to be calm, to make it easier for her to talk to me. </p><p>If Ren had bullied or intimidated her, I’d kick his ass. </p><p>Thess shook her head again, “Just scary, yah.”</p><p>“He’s scary at first. But he’s just a person under all that stuff,” I said, taking her hand. </p><p>Thess looked at me with her wide, yellow-tinted eyes. </p><p>“I’m ready to get to work,” I told her, “I thought we’d be leaving right after training, but we need to do some maintenance on my new ship. Then I have to go up to The Finalizer for a briefing. I’m planning to leave after the meeting, but we might get sucked into staying on the Star Destroyer tonight.”</p><p>That was not what I wanted, but work just seemed to expand into more work. </p><p>“Are you ready? Do you need to eat or anything?” I asked Thess.</p><p>I wasn’t sure if she had been confident enough to ask for food. </p><p>Thess shook her head again. “Thank you,” she said, and paused, her expression growing pinched and serious as she thought of the words, “You’re kind. Not a trick, yah?”</p><p>“If I was trying to trick you, would I tell you?” I asked, fighting a grin. </p><p>“Not if good tricking,” Thess replied, still serious. Her gaze was like a pair of floodlights. </p><p>“I’m pretty good at tricking people,” I said with a wink, standing up from the bed. I offered her my hand, “But I’m not trying to trick you. We’re working together.”</p><p>“Okay,” Thess said, letting me help her off the bed. </p><p>We walked out to Rosie together. Thess had her duffel bag, only a little bit smaller than she was, clutched in her hands. </p><p>We stepped aboard the cargo bay and I looked at her. She was standing in stormtrooper fatigues, with more First Order gear packed. </p><p>“Fuck,” I said, feeling dumb. </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I can’t let you take most of that shit with you,” I told her, “I’m undercover for my job. You can’t show up looking like a stormtrooper.”</p><p>Thess stood in the cargo bay. Her thermals peeked out underneath the rolled up cuffs of her fatigues. </p><p>“I put all my clothes on the other ship. I’ll bring over a crate, and you can pick out something,” I said, “Do you have any personal items in that bag?”</p><p>Thess shook her head. </p><p>That wasn’t surprising. </p><p>“Okay, then we’ll leave it here.”</p><p>Thess turned, walked to the top of the cargo bay ramp, and tossed the duffel bag out onto the snowy concrete. She put her hands on her hips. </p><p>“That works,” I said, motioning her to follow me inside the ship. </p><p>We arrived at the cockpit and I showed Thess my comms set-up. </p><p>“So, this is just like any other smuggling ship, but I have every signature a person could possibly need,” I said, showing Thess how to change between the different signals. </p><p>She already knew how to do this. I showed her the code to unlock my secondary comms, checking  for any new messages from Tynne, Ahobri, or the Hutts. </p><p>Ahobri had sent me a line to say she found an apartment and was getting moved in. Koval and Dreks were confirmed as security. </p><p>I gave her a call back. </p><p>“I need to update Ahobri. She’s my second in command,” I told Thess, “I’ll introduce you.”</p><p>Ahobri answered. “Siobhan,” she greeted, her eyes flickering over to the face she didn’t recognize. </p><p>“This is Thess, my new pilot,” I introduced, “Thess, this is Ahobri.”</p><p>“Nice to meet you, Thess,” Ahobri said with a friendly smile, “Siobhan was telling me about you.”</p><p>Thess’ eyes darted over to me, then back to the screen, “Hi. Ahobri, yah?”</p><p>Ahobri tilted her head at the unusual accent. </p><p>“It looks like I’m going to be out here longer than I expected,” I said, getting right to the point, “They keep finding more things they want me to do. How’s the new place?”</p><p>“I found an apartment with three bedrooms. We’re just getting moved in,” Ahobri said, “Dreks and Koval are helping me with the furniture.”</p><p>Ahobri was shopping, and the two men were dragging home what she bought. </p><p>“We should be out that way in the next couple of days - three at most. Everything quiet with The Hutts? Anything I need to know about?”</p><p>The Hutts were crafty. They would be watching Ahobri. The important thing would be to keep them far away from her, from us.</p><p>“I had a short conversation with Joll over my comms. He congratulated me on buying my contract, and said this connection with the deal was working out well for him. I haven’t seen or heard from him since.”</p><p>“As long as it stays that way,” I said. </p><p>“Ekene has called a couple of times,” Ahobri volunteered. </p><p>“He’s missing you already?” I asked with a smile. </p><p>“Looks like it,” she replied, her eyes sparkling. </p><p>“I have more good news,” I added, “I got a new ship.”</p><p>“Thank you. I don’t want to have another hyperspace trip in that red trash heap,” Ahobri sighed. </p><p>From the co-pilot’s seat, Thess was fighting a smile.</p><p>“Oh, we’re not done with Rosie yet” I said, “I still need her for our work with the Smuggler’s Alliance, but the new ship is real nice. I’m actually a little concerned about taking her to Artix.”</p><p>“She’s noticeable?” Ahobri asked. </p><p>“Yeah, she’s flashy. Do you know any high-end garages I could stash her in?”</p><p>“I’ll look into it,” Ahobri said, “I’ll send you some addresses near my apartment.”</p><p>“Thanks, you’re a doll,” I replied. </p><p>“Love you,” Ahobri said. </p><p>“Love you,” I echoed and closed the line. </p><p>Thess was looking at me with a calculated expression. I wasn’t certain how much of the conversation she understood. </p><p>“I should get you caught up on a few things,” I said. </p><p>“You two names,” Thess said, fixing me with a look. </p><p>“Yeah, that’s part of it,” I said with a laugh, “My name is Siobhan Zhang. My name within the First Order is Lin Siniang. You’ve noticed people using both?”</p><p>Thess gave a serious nod. </p><p>“So Ahobri, she’s helping with my assignment. She knows everything. She knows I’m a Sith. She knows I work for the First Order,” I continued, “But when we get to Artrix, her security team, they won’t know anything. They just think I’m Siobhan and I’m just working as a go-between for some corporation, or something.”</p><p>“Undercover, yah?”</p><p>“Undercover,” I confirmed, “So you’re going to learn more about the work I’m doing. You’re going to overhear conversations, and I can’t have you talking to anyone about it. Just me and Ahobri.”</p><p>Thess gave me a mischievous grin, her dimple bending the lines tattooed on her cheeks. </p><p>“Now, I’m going to need your help on a project with my new ship,” I said, patting my thighs as I stood up, “I don’t trust the man who gave it to me, and I think she’s bugged to the gills.”</p><p>Thess stood up, “Big ship, take long time.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m thinking four hours to start, and we can see what’s left after that.”</p><p>I grabbed snacks and half the remaining case of beer and headed over to Sawai. </p><p>***</p><p>I brought Thess aboard and showed her the crates of clothes I had left in the cargo bay. My things would be too large on her, but showing up in military fatigues wasn’t an option. </p><p>While Thess was distracted with clothes, I headed into the cockpit to check the message Raj had left. </p><p>I closed and locked the door behind me. </p><p>The cockpit was gorgeous, filled with gleaming control panels. There weren’t switches or levers, manual buttons to press. Everything was smooth and automated. </p><p>I pulled up the comms, looking at the specs. </p><p>Sawai had a New Republic signature and a First Order signature I could switch between. The ship itself was registered as a New Republic vessel. </p><p>The signatures and codes were passable, but I needed to do a serious overhaul to have her work the way I wanted. It would be very helpful to have Vin right about now, but that wasn’t an option anymore. </p><p>With my curiosity satisfied, I pulled up Raj’s message. </p><p>A small hologram above the console. </p><p>The details were sharp and crisp. He stood in his suit and tie, pinned at the throat. His hair was swept back.</p><p>“Siobhan,” he greeted, carefree and charming, “I couldn’t stand seeing you on that awful little ship of yours, so I took the liberty of making something that suits you and your position better. I hope that you’ll accept this as a reflection of my interest in you.”</p><p>He was laying it on thick. </p><p>“The Superior General provided me with some details for your current mission. Secrecy seems to be the most important aspect. To that end, the ship should be untraceable. There’s a data trail that dead-ends in the New Republic.”</p><p>He answered one of my main questions. I did not want The Hutts, or anyone else, to be able to link this ship to Juall Corp or the First Order. </p><p>“You’ve been on my mind recently. I want to see you again, somewhere that isn’t a military base. Consider the invitation. I’ll talk with you soon.”</p><p>I played the message twice more. </p><p>This felt dangerous. </p><p>I was testing Ymir’s patience by hiring Ahobri. It was proof that I was already going behind his back, executing my own plans. </p><p>Adding Rajendra to the mix made the situation even worse. </p><p>Would Ymir try to stop me? What exactly would he do if I went and visited Rajendra?</p><p>I couldn’t imagine that he would throw me in the brig. I was useful to him. I was completing missions that no one else could. </p><p>If he retaliated against Ahobri…</p><p>My stomach clenched. </p><p>Last time, Rajendra had said something about Snoke smoothing things over. I didn’t know what he would be able to do about it, but then again, I wasn’t the Superior General. </p><p>It was obvious I wouldn’t solve this problem today. </p><p>I left the cockpit to start a job that had easy answers. I was going to make sure the ship wasn’t bugged. </p><p>***</p><p>I summoned an automech from the hangar. </p><p>The Sawai relied much more on programming than analog controls. I set the droid up in the cockpit to scan the ship’s software, looking for anything that seemed out of place, anything that was recording my motions or conversations, any hidden cameras that might be linked up to the ship’s systems. </p><p>It was a step above my paygrade. I wasn’t convinced a First Order automech had the skills required to search Juall Corp technology, but it was all I had available. </p><p>I needed to find a good codebreaker somewhere and pay them a thousand credits to do this search, but there was risk in that too. They could find information that put my identity at risk. </p><p>I had to be careful. </p><p>While the automech scanned the ship’s software, Thess and I did a search on the exterior. </p><p>It was a slow, miserable job in the snow. </p><p>Today was bitterly cold, the wind blowing through the yard. The air was sharp in my lungs. My nose ran. </p><p>Thess had a hat with earflaps tied beneath her chin. There were spots of color in her cheeks, behind the tattoos. The tip of her nose was bright red. She sniffed and snuffled in the cold. </p><p>We looked through every panel, spending extra time around the turrets, landing gear, and engines. </p><p>When Snoke had bugged my ship, his people had put a tracker deep in the engine well, tucked away inside a panel. If I hadn’t been suspicious, I never would have found it. </p><p>Four hours later, neither of us had found anything. </p><p>The automech’s scan also came up clean. </p><p>I didn’t like that one bit. </p><p>I tried to hide my concern from Thess, “I’ll take the interior while I’m in hyperspace,” I told her, “This is good enough for now. We should head to The Finalizer.”</p><p>She nodded, wiping her nose with a gloved hand. </p><p>“I’ll give them the alert we’re arriving. You’ll be in the same hangar as me. I’m going to take some time to get dressed. I’ll reach out to you on Rosie’s comms when I’m ready to leave.”</p><p>We separated, Thess boarding Rosie while I entered The Sawai. </p><p>I took the time to prepare myself. I’d be entering The Finalizer as a hero, saving our soldiers through my connection with the Force. I also wanted to keep Hux feeling intimidated. </p><p>I found a set of formal robes and carried them with me to the captain’s quarters, where I showered and braided my hair. </p><p>I spent time in front of the mirror as I donned the separate layers. My scars and tattoos vanished under black cloth. </p><p>There were gloves on my hands, a high collar that ended just beneath my chin. The outermost layer of my robes were crimson on the bottom, so there would be a flash of brilliant red as I walked. </p><p>I didn’t bother with make-up or jewelry. </p><p>I ran a finger underneath the tight collar, and made my way to the cockpit. </p><p>
  <b>III</b>
</p><p>Hux wasn’t in the welcome party when I reached The Finalizer's hangar. Three high-level officers I didn’t know were waiting with a unit of storm troopers. </p><p>I exited my new ship, fighting a smirk. I approached with my tablet tucked neatly under my arm, shaking hands and making introductions. </p><p>Thess nervously made her way from Rosie to my group. She was hunched, treading lightly on the metal floors, her eyes darting around. </p><p>“Uh… Siniang…” she began, not sure how to use my name, not knowing how to talk to me in front of a group of officers and a unit of stormtroopers. </p><p>“This is my pilot, Thess,” I introduced warmly, enjoying the discomfort as the officers kept their expressions neutral, taking in the small, tattooed girl. </p><p>“What do you need?” I asked her, my black gloved hand resting on her back. </p><p>Thess looked up at me in awe. She had only ever seen me in anything but civilian clothes. Now she saw me in my robes, hair pulled back, and lightsabers fixed prominently on my belt. </p><p>“Uh, orders, Madam?” she said in her soft burbling voice. </p><p>“I’ll be here for a few hours,” I said, turning to the officers, “Put Thess up in my quarters. Make sure she has everything she needs - food, entertainment - while I work on this briefing.”</p><p>“Yes, Madam,” the officers and Thess echoed. </p><p>I was escorted to the Bridge. </p><p>Ren and Hux were standing at the central console bay. </p><p>I strode towards them, full of confidence. </p><p>They looked towards me as I approached. I enjoyed watching Hux swallow nervously. Before, he would be the one walking towards me, eager to shake my hand and talk. Now, he stayed planted right where he was. </p><p>“Armitage, always a pleasure,” I greeted warmly, meeting his eyes. </p><p>A tinge of red was already travelling from underneath his stiff black collar. </p><p>“M… Madam Siniang, we were notified that you and K… Kylo Ren prevented a disaster on the Base,” Hux said, struggling to remain calm, “Congratulations to you both.”</p><p>“Thank you,” I said sweetly, “I’m just glad we were there to help.”</p><p>Ren was looking at me. He could notice that something was different, “Lin, do you have the briefing ready?”</p><p>“I do,” I said, passing over my tablet, “But, I haven’t had the chance to review intelligence from our probes. I want to see how the neighboring sectors are responding to Ado. It will give me a sense of how aggressive people are feeling towards the First Order.”</p><p>“Lieutenant Janacek can help you filter the comms data,” Hux said, calling the officer over. </p><p>I thought I recognized Janacek, but I had met so many people on these ships, and with their identical uniforms and haircuts it was hard to tell them apart. </p><p>The Lieutenant escorted me to one of the sunken console bays in the bridge, set me up with a chair, and began showing me through the vast datafiles from the probes. </p><p>I quickly discovered how The First Order was able to respond so quickly to new intelligence. </p><p>They had programs that could scan for specific words and phrases, across thousands of languages. I did a search on the number of times the words 'First Order' came up over comms, and I saw the number of times it was mentioned - broken down by language, times of day, and what specific channels had the most activity. </p><p>It was perfect. </p><p>I got a little carried away in my research, pursuing different branches of questions. </p><p>From my comfortable chair, I had access to data showing me exactly where the different members of the Smuggler’s Alliance were operating. I could see some changes in activity, now that The Uhdeas had stopped their piracy and smuggling in our sectors. </p><p>I was given a headset to listen in on recordings of comms chatter. </p><p>The sectors around Ado were on high alert, frightened that they would be next; Druess, Vish, and Mulgard were willing to go to war, but they wouldn’t be the one to start the fight - they were reaching out to the New Republic to see if they could receive aid or backing; Dustig, Var Hagen, and Eidolani were willing to roll over - they didn’t have the military strength, and knew the New Republic was demilitarizing. Help wouldn’t be coming. </p><p>I made additions to my strategy report.</p><p>Some sectors would be easy for us to expand into - the population was poor and didn’t have the capacity to fight. Others would be more difficult. Small kingdoms were ruled by cutthroat warlords who would be willing to destroy their sector before they'd let another group take control. </p><p>I was in the console bay for four hours, reviewing information and making adjustments to my expansion briefing. </p><p>An officer brought me lunch and I ate at the desk, my eyes hardly leaving the screen. </p><p>***</p><p>With the data fully organized, I stood up. </p><p>“I’m ready for the briefing,” I announced to Hux. </p><p>“Yes, Madam,” he said smartly. </p><p>Ren had gone off somewhere. I hadn’t noticed him leave the bridge. </p><p>I entered the briefing room with Hux. It was a dim space, all black metal and glossy surfaces. A round table took up most of the room, with a holoprojector set up in the middle. </p><p>Hux took a seat far away from me. </p><p>He sat nervously, poking through something on his tablet, while a Lieutenant set up the holoprojector and consoles so that we could take notes and record the meeting. </p><p>Another officer provided us water and caffeine. </p><p>A few minutes later Ren arrived, masked and cloaked as usual. </p><p>“Did you find useful information from the probes?” Ren asked, taking a seat near me. </p><p>“I probably spent longer than I needed to,” I admitted, “The probes had everything I needed, and I’ve never been able to search through so much data that easily.”</p><p>Ren turned to Hux, seated on almost the opposite end of the round table. “Come closer,” he ordered, “There’s only the three of us for this briefing.”</p><p>Hux edged his way over and sat on Ren's other side. </p><p>The meeting itself was mostly painless. </p><p>Hux had made endless comments the last time, asking why we were moving so slowly into each sector. He kept his mouth shut now, only talking when it was strictly necessary. </p><p>I presented my plan to move the First Order into all the sectors that covered their hyperspace routes. </p><p>The basic strategy would be the same for each sector. We’d spend a cycle doing sparse fly-throughs, making it look like the pilots were flying long, boring, surveillance runs. They’d keep their comms open, making idle careless chatter from a script. Everyone would think it was just two working stiffs out patrolling on a shit detail. </p><p>After a cycle we’d start moving ships in, making it appear to be a temporary stopping point, the fleet taking advantage of a location at the ass end of nowhere to assemble. </p><p>Then we’d begin staying for longer. </p><p>By that point, the population might accept the First Order presence in their territory, or we'd settle the issue militarily. </p><p>“There are four warlords we need to keep an eye on,” I said, pulling up the sector maps. I pulled up the reports on each man in the sidebar, “In Qualii, we have Zul Skeksis - a big Trandoshan, likes to play dirty. Keldrath has Yao Umbra, he has a well-armed fleet and a lot of loyalty. There’s Thrasybule with Amon Bin, he’s been around forever, during the Empire. And then we have Kaige Evet in Sanbra. Kaige is a maniac, rules his sector with an iron fist, real aggressive guy.”</p><p>I left the map and information up. </p><p>“We need to be careful with those four," I cautioned, "They aren’t going to be easy to negotiate with. Their first move will be to fight.”</p><p>“I can’t see them standing up to a couple of Star Destroyers,” Ren said, sounding bored. </p><p>“A couple of Star Destroyers would draw a lot of attention. People will notice if we start barging into sectors, guns blazing. We don’t want the New Republic to start putting the pieces together.”</p><p>“I’ll ask Lord Ymir,” Ren said, “He said that we might have to sacrifice stealth for timing.”</p><p>“I need you to stick to this strategy while I’m finishing up my deals,” I said, not backing down, “The Smuggler’s Alliance is investigating me. They are looking for any holes in my story, anything suspicious. I’m also going to be contacting Sul Haak to finish up with territory owned by the Hutts. They’ll be looking into me, too. So take it slow.”</p><p>“Keep us informed of how the deals are progressing and we’ll factor that in,” Ren said. </p><p>They were ready to move. They weren’t willing to be patient. </p><p>“Look, if you rush, then we’ll see a thousand little wars along the border of the Outer Rim, and all eyes will be on us. They’ll start noticing our supply ships popping up in these sectors,” I warned, “This is about the security of Starkiller Base.”</p><p>“I understand that,” Ren said, trying to tamp down his frustration. He stood up.</p><p>The briefing was over. </p><p>“It was very thorough information, Madam,” Hux said, rising from his chair, “Thank you.”</p><p>He was trying to win favor where he could. </p><p>Hux left the room. Ren and I were alone. </p><p>“You have to be patient,” I said, scooting my ass up on the end of the table. </p><p>“You’re one to talk,” Ren growled, pulling me close to him. </p><p>He ran a gloved hand down the side of my face, his thumb dragging across my bottom lip. </p><p>I sighed. “I have to leave.”</p><p>“Stay one more night,” Ren urged. </p><p>“I have to get back to my assignment,” I said with a smile. </p><p>Ren was unfastening his mask. He kissed me fiercely, his hips planted between my legs. </p><p>He pushed me back onto the glossy black table. I thought he might pull my pants down, and fuck me here in the briefing room, but we just kissed, our lips and bodies pressed together. </p><p>“I’m going,” I said, my hand on the side of Ren’s face. </p><p>His hand was around my thigh, the other grabbing at a breast above all the layers of my robes. </p><p>I felt his jealousy surge for a second, not wanting to see me go, but he withdrew, running a hand through his hair before securing his mask over his face. </p><p>We exited the briefing room, walking side by side. </p><p>I left Ren on the bridge and took myself down to Hangar One. </p><p>Thess had Rosie’s cargo bay door open, and I could hear my music turned up loud, echoing in the space. </p><p>I liked seeing her rebellious streak.</p><p>I strode up the ramp. </p><p>Thess had changed clothes. She was wearing my poncho. The fabric swallowed her up, draping long over her arms. She had the hood pulled up over her shaved head. </p><p>There was an open beer and a packet of moco on the console. She was my kind of people.</p><p>With the music turned up, Thess didn’t hear me until I was right behind her. </p><p>She startled, turning the music down. </p><p>“You’re fine,” I said flopping into the copilot’s seat. “I thought you’d be in my quarters.”</p><p>“Bored,” Thess answered, “Better music here, yah.”</p><p>I laughed, “Well, we have twelve hours of hyperspace ahead of us, so we still got plenty of boredom left.”</p><p>I checked my comms, confirming that Ahobri had sent along her address. She included information on where I could park my new ship without catching too much attention. I sent her a line:  [On the way. Arriving in twelve hours.] </p><p>“So this is where we’re going,” I said, pulling up the address and pinging Sawai with the details, “We’re headed to Artrix. You can take Rosie right down to this address, then call Ahobri and she’ll get you introduced. I’ll need to park my new ship in a place where she won’t attract the wrong kind of attention. Once we’re on the ground, I thought we could go out and you could start learning a bit more about us and our work.”</p><p>“Easy,” Thess said with a nod. </p><p>I looked at her, with Ren’s suspicion in the back of my mind. </p><p>“So, Thess, I need to cover something with you, and there’s no way for this to not sound like a threat,” I began, calmly meeting her eyes, “I just met you, and I trust you. I’m trusting you to pilot my ship by yourself. I don’t have a tracker on her or anything else like that.”</p><p>Thess stiffened up with worry, not knowing what I was going to do. </p><p>“But I need you to understand,” I continued, staying calm and open, “If you do something you’re not supposed to - if you take my ship somewhere I don’t want. I can still find you. I can read your thoughts before you do it.”</p><p>Dressed in my formal black and crimson robes, lightsabers hooked to my belt, I looked like a Sith.</p><p>Thess nodded with a nervous gulp, “Yah, they talk about Sith. I ask.”</p><p>She did her research after I offered her the job. I could only imagine what people had told her. Almost all of it would be lies and hearsay, but for right now it worked. </p><p>“Then we’re clear,” I said. </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“I’ll see you on Artrix,” I said, putting a gloved hand on her shoulder before I left her there, “If you get any calls for me, don’t answer, especially if it’s Ymir.” </p><p>I left through Rosie's cargo bay and boarded The Sawai. </p><p>From the cockpit, I cleared both of our ships for departure. In open space I set the coordinates for Artrix. </p><p>Hopefully, I could avoid The Finalizer and Starkiller Base for a long time. </p><p>
  <b>IV</b>
</p><p>Simply accelerating into hyperspace felt luxurious. The console did the majority of the calculations for me. </p><p>I didn’t need to calibrate the fuel then push a manual lever to accelerate into hyperspace. All I had to do was press a shiny button, and the stars were stretching out in front of me. </p><p>It was easy. </p><p>I spent ten hours searching the interior of the ship for a tracking device. </p><p>The hunt began in the cockpit. I dug around in the interior panels for any sign of something that was transmitting. </p><p>Next came the captains quarters. I searched through the walls of the stateroom, office, bedroom, and bathroom. </p><p>I came up empty handed. </p><p>The job was exhausting. I realized too late that I hadn’t uploaded my music. There was no sound to keep me company, and not as much beer as I would have liked. </p><p>The hours passed, slow and dull, and I had nothing to show for it. </p><p>I couldn’t find any evidence of a tracker, and it made my stomach clench. </p><p>I refused to let Raj and Snoke outsmart me. </p><p>When we left hyperspace I knew I needed to contact him. Raj was going to ask for something. At the very least, he was going to ask me to meet up with him. </p><p>I already knew I’d say yes, but I had to be careful. I couldn’t make it too easy on him. </p><p>Twice I had tried to kill Ymir on my own, and twice I had failed. </p><p>I couldn’t do this by myself. I needed people behind me. Having Raj and Snoke in my corner was a windfall. But if I was careless, I could turn Ymir into an enemy before I was ready to fight him again. </p><p>I showered, and dressed in civilian clothes. I had a pair of tight blue pants, a simple white tunic, and my olive jacket with the fur collar. </p><p>When we exited hyperspace, I was ready to contact Raj. </p><p>I punched in his line. </p><p>On the map readout, I watched Rosie exit hyperspace. Right on time, and right where she should be. </p><p>Raj’s handsome face pulled up on the holoscreen. </p><p>“Siobhan. Forgive me for being forward,” he said with a smug curl to his lips, “I just couldn’t stand the idea of you flying that scrap heap around the Galaxy.” </p><p>“You’re good at surprises,” I said, leaning into the camera. </p><p>“I am,” he agreed with a smug smile, “How do you like The Sawai?”</p><p>“She’s a beauty,” I said, “You made Kylo Ren jealous.”</p><p>It was an implied threat. Raj smirked at me. </p><p>“I have to say, you did a good job bugging the ship,” I continued, “I’ve turned this bird inside out and I haven’t found it yet.”</p><p>“An accusation, so soon?” Raj said, playing along. </p><p>“Of course. Snoke tried to put a tracker on Rosie and I didn’t let him get away with it. So I guess you’ve gotten better at hiding now.”</p><p>“I hate to tell you that you wasted your time,” Raj said, “I didn’t hide a tracker put on your ship.”</p><p>I shrugged, “I don’t believe you.”</p><p>“Well, how about this,” Raj said, leaning in towards the camera, “How about you keep searching The Sawai, top to bottom, and when you find a tracker, you come deliver it to me.”</p><p>“That sounds like a lot of work,” I replied, making a show of cleaning a nail, “I’m right in the middle of several deals. I don’t think I have time to get away.”</p><p>“Come out to my Estate,” Raj said, “I’ll make it worth your while.”</p><p>“You will?” I said, continuing my bored act, “I just spent the last few days with Ekene. He wants me to come out to his Estate, too.”</p><p>“I heard that Lord Ymir finally cut him loose,” Raj said, unable to hide his sneer, “I’m sure you had fun together. I don’t expect he’ll be sober for a cycle or two…”</p><p>Raj was letting his guard down, showing me his petty, bitchy side. </p><p>It was right where I wanted him. “I have enough men and Estates in my future,” I said, ignoring his comment, “Call me when you have another idea.”</p><p>“And thanks for the ship,” I added and closed the line. </p><p>My heart was beating quickly in my chest. I grinned to myself. </p><p>Raj still thought that I was nobody. So did Snoke. </p><p>They thought I was some stupid girl they could dangle shiny gifts in front of to earn my trust. </p><p>Playing hard-to-get would make them respect me. </p><p>Next, I pinged Ahobri: [Thess is arriving, she'll call and bring Rosie to you. Leaving Sawai in a garage.]</p><p>I’d be downtown, where all the businessmen and politicians were. Rosie wouldn’t raise eyebrows there. </p><p>I gave Ahobri the code for my handheld comms. </p><p>***</p><p>The garage was a large airy structure, with lots of security. The Sawai basically landed itself.</p><p>It was going to cost a lot to keep Sawai here, and I’d need to use one of my accounts. These folks didn’t want to do business in cash. </p><p>I left my ship with my kit bag in hand, blaster on my hip. I had decided to bring my lightsabers with me, hidden away in locked canisters. </p><p>People would think I was a high-end bounty hunter, slumming it in Artrix for a few days before reporting to work on Zeltros. </p><p>An intimidatingly tall Ithorian made the arrangement to park my ship for a few days. I took care of the money with one of my datachips and his tablet. </p><p>This was going on the First Order’s tab. </p><p>It was late afternoon on Artrix. The sun slanted orange and gold across the sky, filtering between skyscrapers. </p><p>The city center was cut through with canals, with room for boats and air traffic. Wide terraces ran along the outside of the buildings, with bridges that criss- crossed between.</p><p>I made my way towards Ahobri’s apartment. I wasn’t familiar with the building, but I had spent time in the neighborhood. It was in Mid-town, close to the popular markets. </p><p>As I strode through the city, my comms began to beep in my jacket pocket. </p><p>“Hey,” I said into the speaker. </p><p>“I just got Thess set up in the apartment,” Ahobri said, “We’re both hungry, so we were going to grab some lunch. Where do you want to meet us?”</p><p>“I need to do some shopping after this,” I said, “How about we find a spot near Gungantown?”</p><p>“Siobhan,” Ahobri complained, “You can shop somewhere other than Gungantown. Let’s meet at Tran’s, they have a patio.”</p><p>I grinned, “All right. I’ll see you there.”</p><p>Ahobri thought Gungantown was loud and dirty. She didn’t like their aggressive bargaining, and that they only spoke Ubese. She only went there when I dragged her. </p><p>Tran’s was one of our local haunts. They had cheap beer, good food, and a space to sit outside on a nice day. </p><p>When I arrived there was no sign of Thess or Ahobri, so I went to the counter for a beer. </p><p>I knew I had been awake for a long time. It was starting to catch up to me. </p><p>The world felt hazy and indistinct. </p><p>I sat on my stool, elbow resting on the weathered countertop, and sipped my beer, surrounded by people having dozens of conversations in dozens of different languages. </p><p>I didn’t have long to wait. Ahobri and Thess arrived before I had finished my first beer.</p><p>“Siobhan, how’d you beat us?” Ahobri asked, throwing an arm around my shoulders. </p><p>“Just got here,” I said, holding up my drink.</p><p>Thess was still dressed in my poncho. I noticed that she was wearing a pair of my leggings, rolled up above the tops of her boots. </p><p>“How was the flight?” I asked her. </p><p>“Boring,” Thess answered with a shrug. </p><p>Here on Artrix she looked less out of place, with her shaved head and tattoos on her face and hands. Still, she seemed overwhelmed. </p><p>“Let’s get some beer and grab a spot on the patio,” I suggested, motioning for Thess to join me on an empty stool.</p><p>I leaned forward, getting the bartender’s attention. A surly Aqualish woman took my order for a couple of pitchers while Ahobri put in an order for food. </p><p>I passed Thess our three glasses and picked up the pitchers.</p><p>We found a spot on the patio where we could recline on cushions, with a low table for food. We settled in.</p><p>I hugged and kissed Ahobri. She was in full form today, wearing a pair of loose pants, in a loud pattern of orange, purple, and yellow. Her shirt was cut short, ending just below her breasts, showing off her gently curving green belly. She had on a long breezy robe in a pattern of navy blue and white. Her headtails were bundled up in white ribbons on either side of her head. She had round tinted glasses perched on the end of her nose. </p><p>She looked beautiful. </p><p>Thess was captivated by Ahobri, and so was trying to avoid staring at her. </p><p>The three of us took our spots on the cushions, lounging beneath an umbrella. Street traffic passing by outside of a railing. </p><p>I poured beer for the three of us. </p><p>“Thess, don’t be offended, but is this the first city you’ve been to?” I asked, seeing the way her wide eyes trailed the people walking by. </p><p>“...yah,” she admitted. </p><p>“We’ll get you up to speed,” I said, “I told you I was born on Tevel. I never saw a city until I was sixteen.”</p><p>I didn’t know how old Thess was. Somewhere between sixteen and twenty-two? She was so tiny it was hard to guess her age, but I knew she was younger than me. </p><p>“Where are you from?” Ahobri asked, trying to put the girl at ease. </p><p>“Fedje,” Thess answered, looking between us, “Where you born?” she asked Ahobri. </p><p>“I was born on Zeltros,” she answered, pointing up into the sky, at the planet we were orbiting. “Ward five. I was sold here, when I was ten.”</p><p>Thess bowed her head sympathetically. </p><p>“My people called Ithan,” Thess said, “People on Fedje say Ithan bad luck, bad people. Family smugglers.”</p><p>Ahobri took Thess’ hand, “So how did you meet Siobhan?” she asked, giving me a smile. </p><p>A waiter came by with food. There were dishes of vegetables in a spicy sauce, grilled meats, fruit, and bread. </p><p>I realized that I was starving. </p><p>All I had on the flight was beer and moco. </p><p>We took a moment to put food on our plates, passing dishes between each other. </p><p>“Meet Siobhan secret woods,” Thess answered, eagerly digging into the meal. </p><p>Ahobri smiled, “You met Siobhan in the woods?” She repeated, trying to understand what Thess was saying.</p><p>“I was doing training on the mountainside, and Thess was skipping drills,” I said with a grin. </p><p>“Skip drills, yah,” Thess confirmed, shovelling vegetables and bread into her mouth. </p><p>“Siobhan knows something about that,” Ahobri teased, starting on her food.</p><p>She was subtle. She knew better than to talk about the Resistance openly. </p><p>“My drill sergeant hated me,” I told Thess, with a roguish smile. </p><p>I turned to Ahobri, “How have things been?”</p><p>She finished chewing before answering, “Busy. Finding the apartment wasn’t too hard, but I’ve been doing so much shopping to get the place set up. Everyone has a bed. Thess has her own room.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Thess said in between bites. </p><p>“We need to do some shopping,” I said, “I need to set up a fresh comms array for my new ship. Thess, I’ll give you a couple hundred credits for clothes.”</p><p>She looked up at me wide-eyed. </p><p>“You don’t need to spend it all today,” I said with a grin, “Get yourself whatever you need to feel moved in - clothes, gear, furniture, whatever.”</p><p>***</p><p>We enjoyed ourselves on the patio, warmed by the sun, watching the city around us. </p><p>Ahobri worked her magic on Thess, helping to bring the girl out of her shell and make her feel more comfortable.</p><p>After our meal we headed off to the market. </p><p>I managed to drag Ahobri out to Gungantown. </p><p>My goal was finding a new comms array - the regular city market was good for clothes, food, and jewelry, but not for electronics. </p><p>Thess surprised me by speaking fluent Ubese. I understood the language, but I couldn’t speak it myself. </p><p>I watched as Thess found the transmission box I needed, then haggled with the shop owner over the price of one hundred fifty credits.</p><p>Her entire demeanor changed as she started the negotiation; she wasn’t a shrinking hesitant girl, she became shrewd and fierce. </p><p>The shop owner, a squat Gungan woman missing an ear, didn’t know what to make of the small tattooed girl speaking perfect Ubese. </p><p>Thess pointed out some damage on the transmission box and said it was an older model, then said she could find the exact same item in another stall for less. </p><p>I stepped in to help Thess, saying that we should keep moving. </p><p>The shop owner caved to Thess's offer of seventy-five credits for the transmission box and a clean set of cables. </p><p>“You’re a tough little bastard when you want to be,” I said with a grin as we walked away, the transmission box tucked away inside my kit bag, “Where’d you learn to speak Ubese like that?”</p><p>“Sector dealers, yah,” Thess replied. </p><p>I continued to shop for parts while Ahobri helped Thess find clothes she liked. </p><p>When they were done, Thess didn’t look like a soldier anymore. She had found a pair of black pants that a vendor hemmed up for her in the stall. She bought a brown leather jacket, and found a triangular blue scarf that she wrapped around her neck. </p><p>It was a plain outfit, but it suited her. </p><p>Night fell over Artrix, lights coming on in the city. Stalls began closing down for the evening.</p><p>“We should bring Koval and Dreks some dinner,” Ahobri said as we began to make our way to the apartment. </p><p>I had my kit bag in hand, and two more shopping bags resting on my shoulder. </p><p>I was grateful that the wound had fully scarred. It didn’t hurt to put weight on my shoulder and arm anymore. </p><p>We stopped at a food stall for soup, dumplings, noodles, and sticky-sweet neon colored desserts. A small feast to-go, for the five of us. </p><p>Our second stop was for alcohol. We bought several bottles of wine and beer.</p><p>“I’m excited to see the apartment,” I told Ahobri, kissing her cheek as we walked together. </p><p>“It’s really not that special, but it does feel good to have a place of my own,” Ahobri said. </p><p>“Have you talked with Jukhara at all?” I asked. </p><p>Ahobri’s mouth tightened. “Just a little bit,” she said. </p><p>That meant there was more, but she wasn’t willing to talk about it as we walked down the street. </p><p>“I spent some time with Troye and Jenna this week. They helped with some of the furniture shopping,” Ahobri said. </p><p>We entered the building, taking an elevator up to the one-hundred-and-third floor. </p><p>Ahobri was right, this wasn’t a fancy place. It wasn’t gaudy like Roice’s penthouse on Zeltros. The hallways were made from dark-tinted metal, the floors and walls were scuffed. </p><p>The apartment building was quiet and well-kept, filled with people going about their routines. I didn’t hear children screaming. I also couldn’t hear fights or arguments as we walked down the hall. </p><p>Almost every apartment I had ever lived in was barely-contained chaos. It was common to find people passed out on the stairs or just inside of doorways. I was used to smelling everyone’s cooking, hearing their fights, hearing them fuck. </p><p>This place felt stable, the people here had just enough money to keep their lives in order. </p><p>Ahobri took a key card out of her pocket and pressed it to the console by the door. </p><p>We entered a short hallway. </p><p>Koval and Dreks were playing cards in the living room. </p><p>“Take your shoes off please,” Ahobri said. </p><p>“Siobhan!” Koval called out, waving to me. </p><p>I grinned at the large Gamorrean, “Koval, you’re a sight for sore eyes.”</p><p>“Hey, Siobhan,” Dreks said, glancing up from his cards for a second. </p><p>Dreks was a large Gran, quieter than Koval, and a good man to have in a fight. </p><p>Ahobri, Thess, and I worked off our shoes, setting our bags on the ground. </p><p>We entered the apartment proper. </p><p>The short hallway opened up into a small kitchen and a large living room - floor-to-ceiling windows gave us a view of other skyscrapers and lanes of air traffic. Two hallways led off from the living room. </p><p>Ahobri was pouring drinks. </p><p>“I heard Ahobri was having you move all the furniture for her,” I teased, pulling up a chair next to Koval. </p><p>“Oh yeah,” he grinned, “She’s been running us ragged all week.”</p><p>The living room looked nice. We had a sofa, plenty of chairs, and a table to eat at. Ahobri had even put some of her art on the walls - mostly posters of singers she liked and shows she had gone to. </p><p>“There’s food on the counter,” Ahobri said, carrying over full glasses of wine for us, “Siobhan, let me show you around.”</p><p>She took me down the hall to the right, and showed me into her room. </p><p>“I just thought that, with your travelling, we could share our space,” Ahobri said. </p><p>I dropped my kit bag on the ground, kissing her hungrily. </p><p>“This is perfect,” I said, one arm wrapping around her waist, pulling her close. </p><p>Ahobri kissed me back, her hand rising up to cradle the back of my head. </p><p>I was so happy to be here with her.</p><p>Afterwards, she introduced me to the room. </p><p>Ahobri had moved her furniture from The Outpost. She had her old bed, which took up less of the room now. Her vanity was set up against the far wall. </p><p>This room also had large windows, with a countertop and drawers beneath. </p><p>“Was that all you brought?” she asked, looking down at my kit bag. </p><p>“For now,” I said, “I have the rest of my clothes on my new ship. I don’t think I’m going to do that much unpacking.”</p><p>I flopped onto the bed, spreading my arms and legs across the sheets. </p><p>Ahobri took a seat next to me, smoothing my hair on either side of my face. </p><p>“So what do you think about Thess?” I asked. </p><p>“She’s a nervous little thing. She wasn’t what I was expecting,” Ahobri said. </p><p>“I think most of that is from her experience on the Base,” I replied, “Once she has a job to do, she isn’t so twitchy. I think she’ll come around, she just needs some more experience under her belt.” </p><p>I shifted onto my side so I was looking at Ahobri “So how are things with you and Ekene?”</p><p>“Oh, don’t tease me,” Ahobri said, patting my leg, “We’ve talked a couple of times.”</p><p>“I’m not teasing,” I said defensively, “I think he really likes you. Is he on his Estate?” I asked. </p><p>“I think he’s visiting friends right now.”</p><p>“Ymir wouldn’t tell me shit about what was going on with them,” I said.</p><p>“I mean, Ekene didn’t tell me anything that happened after we left Kotrea,” Ahobri replied, “I keep wondering if I shouldn't have slept with him…”</p><p>“You’re fine,” I assured her, pushing myself up on my elbows. </p><p>I remembered how upset Ymir had been to know that I hired someone that he didn’t know, a civilian who knew I was a Sith. </p><p>I would make things fine. I’d keep Ahobri safe. </p><p>“So what’s next?” Ahobri asked, changing the subject, “Are we going to try to reach out to Sul Haak?”</p><p>“Yeah. I was planning on contacting Boz tomorrow. We should spend some time with my reports to see if there’s anything we can give him that will catch his attention.”</p><p>I needed to install my comms. I needed to find a codebreaker to make sure there weren’t bugs encoded into the software on my new ship. </p><p>There was nothing but work to look forward to. </p><p>“Let’s go eat something. We can look through the reports later,” Ahobri said, giving me another kiss. </p><p>When we returned to the room, Thess had joined Koval and Dreks at the card game and the three of them were locked in a competitive silence. </p><p>I noticed that Thess already had a small collection of credits at her elbow. </p><p>“Givin’ them a hard time for me?” I asked, picking up the wineglass I left on the table. </p><p>“Yes,” Thess answered seriously, eyes focused on her cards. </p><p>Dreks grunted and played a card from his hand. It was good, but not good enough. Thess had won the hand. </p><p>Ahobri was in the kitchen, opening containers of food. I smelled salt and spices. My mouth watered. </p><p>They only played a couple more hands before stopping for dinner. </p><p>Ahobri put on some music. Dreks set up his waterpipe in the living room. </p><p>The five of us ate together, sharing containers, pouring drinks. We joked and told stories. </p><p>Thess began to relax and open up. In her broken Galactic Standard, she told smuggling stories. I did the same. Both of us had the shared experience of Starkiller Base that we couldn’t talk about. </p><p>I tried to imagine how Koval and Dreks would respond if I told them we had just been on a First Order base in the Unknown Regions, where they were engineering a planet into a weapon. </p><p>Koval and Dreks shared brothel and city gossip, talking about local characters who had gotten in trouble with the Hutts and people who were moving up with a successful bar or club. </p><p>For the first time in a long time, I actually felt like I was home. I sat back with my wine, enjoying the food and conversation. </p><p>This was exactly what I wanted, but at the same time I wanted more. I wanted more people in my corner. I wanted a house that I owned, not an apartment in Mid-town. </p><p>After I left my mother’s homeworld, my crews had become my family. Jukhara was more of a teacher than my mother. Tynne had knocked sense into me when no one else could. </p><p>I never thought I could be a leader, but now it seemed possible. </p><p>I looked over at Ahobri, taking her hand while I thought. We were building something of our own now. </p><p>After a few hours, we all split up to go to bed. </p><p>Dreks stayed in the living room for the next security shift. </p><p>Ahobri and I went to bed together, shucking off our clothes, climbing under the blankets. </p><p>“I have something good to tell you,” I said. </p><p>“Oh?” Ahobri replied playfully, pressing her lips to mine. </p><p>I ran my hand along her side, the round swell of her hips. </p><p>“I saved some people, on the base, when I came to pick up Thess,” I said with a grin, pulling Ahobri to me, “A Commander was leading his squadron into the hangar after drills. The formation was too close and one of the pilots clipped the person next to them. There were a few thousand soldiers out training in the yard, and Ren and I, we stopped the crash. We kept the ships from falling onto the soldiers. Both of the pilots are fine. No one got seriously hurt.”</p><p>“Siobhan…” Ahobri said, giving me another kiss, “You saved people.”</p><p>“It was the first time I’ve ever used this power to help someone else. I liked it.”</p><p>We kissed beneath the sheets. I felt her growing warm and wet as I sucked on her nipples, teasing her with my hand. </p><p>I positioned myself between her legs, kissing and lapping at her, listening to her gasps and cries and moans. </p><p>We were finally together, in our own place. We could have whatever we wanted.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Siobhan’s having a stretch of good fortune as she actually takes on responsibility. We'll have to wait and see what Raj and Snoke have in store for her. </p><p>So, I finally did the thing! I have a short behind-the-scenes post up on <a href="https://andromeda-rising-897.tumblr.com/post/613206657202372608/the-sith-acolyte-behind-the-scenes">Tumblr</a> talking about my inspiration for Ymir and my version of Kylo Ren. </p><p>As always, thanks so much for reading, and I always love to hear from you in the comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Loyalty</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Siobhan has her crew assembled and is working to close her deals with the Hutts.<br/>She faces new challenges to secure a territory agreement with Sul Haak. </p><p>There is trouble ahead as Lord Ymir discovers Siobhan’s lies. </p><p>Snoke returns in this chapter to force her hand, and draw her into his plot.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>For folks dealing with the doldrums of social distancing, I’m posting more on my <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/andromeda-rising-897">Tumblr</a> and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/andromeda.rising">Instagram</a>. Feel free to swing by and say hello!</p><p>I finally watched Killing Eve for the first time (yeah, it took me forever), and I want to do a post about their badass non-traditional women characters. I saw so many parallels between Siobhan and Villanelle. I want to explore their similarities and differences.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>I</b>
</p><p>I woke up on Artrix, with Ahobri snoring softly next to me in bed. </p><p>Sunlight filtered through the flimsy screen over the window. </p><p>As I shifted and yawned in bed, all my responsibilities came pouring through my thoughts, ruining the peace. I was facing another busy day.</p><p>I needed to create a new comms array for Sawai. I needed to contact Boz and see if he could arrange a meeting with Sul Haak. I needed to keep an eye out for Tynne to find out when the Smuggler’s Alliance was gathering. </p><p>I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, putting the heel of my hand to my forehead. </p><p>One step at a time, Siobhan. </p><p>I took a shower and changed clothes, running a hand across the canisters that held my lightsabers. </p><p>Next to my kit bag were the transmission box and cables for my new comms. I tucked the machinery under my arm. </p><p>When I shuffled out into the living room, I found Thess sitting on the sofa with Dreks. They were watching some kind of sports event on the holoprojector. </p><p>“Koval’s getting breakfast,” Dreks said as I walked to the kitchen. He was hunched forward, focused on the holoscreen. He had only bothered to swivel one eyestalk in my direction. </p><p>Thess was also perched on the sofa, legs crossed, fists clenched on top of her knees, tensely following the action. </p><p>Someone had made caffeine and left it on the warm hot-plate. I poured myself a glass. </p><p>I slumped in a chair, sipping the warm drink. </p><p>Thess and Dreks were completely absorbed. On screen, players in their flashy uniforms threw a ball around a rink, trying to put it into a net. It was Grav-ball. I didn’t know any of the rules, but I had watched plenty of matches in passing. </p><p>Thess was muttering urgently under her breath in her native language. I couldn’t make out a single word. </p><p>I waited until there was a break in the game to talk. </p><p>“Thess, I’m going to get my comms array installed on Sawai. I might need your help.”</p><p>“Sure,” she replied, “When?”</p><p>“You can finish watching the game,” I said with a grin, “Just meet me on board Rosie when it’s over.”</p><p>After I had my caffeine, I headed down to the garage. I passed Koval in the hallway. The big Gamorrean was lumbering along with a box under his arm.</p><p>“Is that breakfast?” I asked. </p><p>“Yeah, are you headed out already?” </p><p>“Just going to do some maintenance on Rosie,” I said, nodding to the transmission box tucked beneath my arm. </p><p>“Take this,” Koval said, digging around in the box. He pulled out a sandwich wrapped in white paper, a small container of something, and a utensil.  </p><p>“Thanks,” I said with a grin. </p><p>Koval’s eyes fell on my bare left forearm. </p><p>“Gods, girl,” he said, “Someone give you those in lock-up?”</p><p>I was dressed for working on my ship, wearing a sleeveless shirt and utility pants. The scars and messy tattoos were fully visible, along with the healing burn on my right shoulder.  </p><p>I made a dismissive shrug, “Yeah, something like that.”</p><p>Koval put a hand on my left shoulder. His dark beady eyes were kind. He waited a beat, “I’ll see you back inside.”</p><p>“Thanks for breakfast,” I said. </p><p>I continued down the hall, peeling back the wrapper around the sandwich; eating as I walked. </p><p>Once I was inside Rosie, I grabbed a toolkit from the cargo bay on my way to the cockpit. </p><p>I dropped the bundle of objects into the copilot’s seat and turned on my music, checking my comms as I opened the little container. </p><p>Koval had brought us some kind of spicy, starchy concoction that wasn’t quite soup. There were tiny pieces of meat and vegetables floating around. I wasn’t sure if I liked it, but I was hungry and it was food. </p><p>There weren’t any new messages on my comms. </p><p>I typed up a quick note to Ymir while I finished eating: [I finished the expansion briefing before leaving the Base, Hux and Ren should have sent you the notes. I’m on Zeltros to arrange a meeting with Boz, I think he can connect me with the Haaks.]</p><p>I realized that I should start trying to contact Boz. He might make us wait a day or two, and I didn’t want to waste time. I had no idea when Tynne was going to summon me for the Smuggler’s Alliance meeting, and I didn’t want to run into a conflict. </p><p>I began punching in Boz’s code; then I remembered that I looked like shit. My hair was draped messily over my shoulders, and the sleeveless shirt revealed most of my scars.</p><p>I went to my quarters to change. I pulled on a long-sleeved black shirt, rebraided my hair, and put on a pair of dangly gold earrings. </p><p>It was passable for a call. </p><p>When I punched in Boz’s line, I got one of his women. She was the intimidatingly pretty Utapaun. I couldn’t remember her name. I didn’t think anyone had told me her name. </p><p>“This is Mara Zhang, I want to arrange another sit-down with Boz,” I said, getting right to the point. </p><p>“Is there a change in the deal?” the woman asked. Her voice was low, her expression cool and bored. </p><p>“No. It’s a new proposal. I’m looking to trade credits and intelligence for an introduction to Sul Haak,” I said. </p><p>“I’ll discuss this with his Excellency and call you back,” the Utapaun woman said, emphasising ‘his Excellency.’ That was a warning. </p><p>“Thanks. Say, I don’t think we were ever introduced,” I said, as charming as possible, “What’s your name?”</p><p>“Tiali.”</p><p>“Thanks, Tiali. I’ll look forward to your call.”</p><p>She closed the line. </p><p>Another waiting game. </p><p>I set to work on my comms, digging inside the panels beneath the dash. </p><p>Just like old times. </p><p>Thess came in right as I finished detaching the array. She was dressed plainly in a tunic, utility pants, and her blue scarf.</p><p>“How was the game?” I asked.</p><p>She crouched down to see what I was doing, “Team lost.”</p><p>“You didn’t have money on it did you?” I winked. </p><p>“Not this time. Good thing, yah.”</p><p>I pushed myself up, dropping my transmission box into the captain's chair, “What do you know about programming comms arrays?”</p><p>Thess knew a lot. Crews that did local jobs had to rely on trickery and stealth to keep from getting caught. </p><p>I had backed myself into a corner with my comms setup; I was negotiating with everyone on my smuggling line, and now I had two ships. </p><p>Rosie was having mechanical problems, but I still needed her for my work with the Smuggler’s Alliance. If Tynne saw me flying around in Sawai, he would immediately know something was up. I had to keep both my ships. But I couldn’t split up my comms.</p><p>“I think I’m going to have to have both of my ships programmed with the same smuggling line,” I told Thess, “If you can think of a different way to do it, I’m all ears.”</p><p>Thess frowned. “Think about it,” she replied. </p><p>“Let’s see if this transmission box has anything interesting already installed,” I said. </p><p>I hooked up the device to my console, looking through its specs to see if there were signatures that we could cannibalize. </p><p>There wasn’t anything special - it looked like the transmission box from a townie. There were a couple of business lines, but that was all. </p><p>Thess set about re-programming the transmission box I had bought yesterday, uploading my smuggling and First Order signatures. </p><p>It was a risky decision. Now both ships would receive all my incoming messages. </p><p>I could add security by creating a manual password to access each set of comms, but it still didn’t change the fact that both ships had access to my communications. </p><p>While Thess worked, I changed the manual code for my secondary comms. </p><p>I had just started when Ahobri came aboard. </p><p>She was ready for the day, wearing a long, strapless dress with a busy pattern of pinks and oranges. She had her headtails tied up in a wrap and the round pair of tinted glasses resting at the top of her forehead. </p><p>“Dreks and Koval said you’d be out here,” she greeted, “What’s the project?”</p><p>“Thess is reprogramming my comms,” I said, “We need to head over to Sawai and install the transmission box. Want to come with? See the new ship?”</p><p>“I’d love to,” Ahobri said, “Have you gotten a hold of Boz?”</p><p>“I talked with one of his girls, the tall Utapaun. She said she’d get back to me.”</p><p>“I remember her, what’s her name?” Ahobri asked, leaning her elbow on the top of the copilot’s chair. </p><p>“Tiali. I had to ask, I don’t think anyone told us her name.”</p><p>Thess closed the side panel on the transmission box, “Done.”</p><p>“You got a couple hundred credits coming your way,” I told her, “You did that quick.”</p><p>She was almost as fast as Vin. </p><p>I took a few minutes to reinstall my original comms array in Rosie. </p><p>“I’ll go change clothes real quick,” I said. </p><p>On the way, I grabbed Thess’ payment. </p><p>***</p><p>We set off across town on foot. Thess needed to get used to the city and it gave the three of us time to chat. </p><p>I had my kit bag in hand, along with the transmission box, my blaster on my hip. I had my awareness extended, sensing if anyone was following us. I couldn’t feel anything, for the moment. </p><p>“When we get the meeting we’ll have to go all the way out to Dandoran,” Ahobri said, keeping her voice down and her expression cool. </p><p>“Fuck, that’s where his home base is?” I replied. </p><p>Thess was walking ahead of us, craning her head at the signs, the traffic, the little arguments, people sleeping on steps and in dirty corners. </p><p>I had probably looked the same as her, those first few days on my mother’s homeworld. </p><p>We strode along the terraces, making our way to Mid-town. </p><p>At the garage, I had a valet bring my ship to one of the maintenance hangars. </p><p>We took the elevator up. </p><p>Sawai wasn’t the only ship here. A couple of astromechs and mechanics were working on some other very expensive machines. </p><p>“Which one is it?” Astrid asked, gazing around. </p><p>Thess was already striding over to Sawai, with her sleek gray and gold paint job. </p><p>“That one,” I answered, pointing. </p><p>“Siobhan!” Ahobri exclaimed, jogging behind Thess, holding the hem of her dress up. </p><p>“Her name is Sawai,” I said, lowering the side ramp, just behind a wing. </p><p>“She’s beautiful!” Ahobri said, running her hand along the side, “Where did you find her?”</p><p>“She was actually a gift,” I said with a proud grin.</p><p> </p><p>“Who?!” Ahobri said, turning to me in shock, “Can you tell me?” she whispered loudly. </p><p>“Secret admirer,” I replied. </p><p>We headed up the ramp together. </p><p>“Thess, want to give Ahbori the tour? I’ll get started installing this thing.”</p><p>“Follow me,” Thess said, taking Ahobri’s green hand. </p><p>I wound my way up to the cockpit and dropped my kit bag next to the captain’s chair. There was a blinking light on the console.</p><p>My brows drew together. Did Raj call me back already?</p><p>I pressed a button on the screen. </p><p>The message was from Snoke. </p><p>I frowned. This wasn’t good. No one but Raj had the comms information on this ship. This proved that he wasn’t acting alone when he gave me the ship. </p><p>These were the strings attached. </p><p>I closed and locked the cockpit door, then pulled up the message. </p><p>Snoke’s mangled, misshapen face pulled up in the holofeed, “Siobhan, I just received word from Starkiller Base. You and Kylo Ren stopped a crash that could have killed hundreds of our soldiers. I wanted to give you my personal congratulations...”</p><p>I sighed, resting my chin on my hand. He had never been this nice to me before. I didn’t like this act. </p><p>“...I’ve received updates detailing the successes of your assignments,” he continued, “So you can imagine my surprise when Lord Ymir expressed displeasure with you in our most recent call.”</p><p>That was Snoke’s hook. It worked. He had my attention.</p><p>“It seems you held back information from him regarding your contacts and these deals you’ve been making,” Snoke said, “I can provide some assistance to you. Call me.”</p><p>I pressed a button to call Snoke’s line. </p><p>His face came up in the holofeed. </p><p>“You received my message,” he said, a smug look in his eyes.  </p><p>I watched the way his scar and damaged cheek twisted as he spoke.</p><p>“I did. I was surprised you had this line,” I replied. I kept my tone breezy, even as my mind was racing. </p><p>Snoke was manipulating me, and I could either play right into his hands, or keep one step ahead. </p><p>“Of course I have this line,” Snoke said dismissively, “Rajendra gave it to me.”</p><p>“Ymir hasn’t talked to me in four days,” I said, cutting to the chase, “What do I need to know?”</p><p>Snoke gave me a sneering smile, “He said that you went behind his back to put together a team of your own,” he began, “He’s looked up the information on your pilot, some ragged little creature, and you gave a false name for your assistant in your report.”</p><p>My heart was cold in my chest. </p><p>“Do you have anything on her?” I asked, growing more serious. </p><p>“Oh no, you’ve done a good job hiding her identity,” Snoke said, knowing that he had found a weakness, “I started doing my own research and I discovered that Ekene helped to make an arrangement between the First Order and a brothel on Artrix. You used to work in a brothel on Artrix. It’s an interesting coincidence, but I haven’t shared that detail with Lord Ymir, yet.”</p><p>I heard feet in the hallway, and a knock on the cockpit door. </p><p>“Siobhan?” Ahobri called. </p><p>Snoke made an ugly smile as he heard the muffled voice.</p><p>I didn’t turn or respond to her. Ahobri and Thess could wait. </p><p>“You said you were calling to assist me, not threaten me,” I growled. </p><p>This was going south fast. My mind was scrambling to find a way through this conversation.</p><p>“I’ve already given you some assistance,” Snoke said, happy to have me backed into a corner, “Lord Ymir wants to take disciplinary action against you for your lies, and bringing on a person that he has neither met nor vetted. I told him that your work is undercover, so you should be able to develop a separate team.”</p><p>I was rushing to figure out what he was saying. Ymir planned to punish me, Snoke said that he had defended me. </p><p>“And what do you want from me?” I asked, hating to be in this position. </p><p>“I’m not quite done,” Snoke continued, “Lord Ymir was very unhappy to find out that Rajendra made this ship for you.”</p><p>“So was Ren,” I shot back with a sneer of my own. </p><p>“Oh I’m sure you two sorted that out,” Snoke quipped, “My advice to you is to prepare for a very unpleasant conversation with Lord Ymir. I’ll do what I can to make sure he doesn’t find the true identity of your girl.”</p><p>I was glowering at Snoke, “And what do you expect in return?” I repeated. </p><p>“You should meet with Rajendra,” Snoke said, “I know that you like to be difficult, but he was very put off by your last conversation.”</p><p>“Oh come on, you men love it when we’re hard to get,” I said with fiery disdain. </p><p>“It’s your choice,” Snoke said, “I’ll be looking into your mystery girl, and waiting to hear from Rajendra.”</p><p>Snoke ended the call. </p><p>My heart was pounding. My throat felt tight. </p><p>I needed to open the door for Ahobri and Thess, but I didn’t want them to see me like this. </p><p>I took a breath, allowing my thoughts of doubt, worry, and fear to move across my mind. </p><p>This was exactly what Jukhara and Ekene warned me would happen. </p><p>But, Snoke and Ymir had no idea who Ahobri was. They didn’t know anything about her. Yet.</p><p>Or maybe they did, and it was a bluff.</p><p>I had planned to meet with Raj eventually. I wanted to. </p><p>I wanted Snoke and Raj’s help, but I couldn’t afford to trust them. </p><p>I still felt on edge, but calmer than I was a minute ago. I opened the door to my cockpit. </p><p>Ahobri and Thess were nowhere to be seen. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> for the two of them, and made my way up to the captain’s quarters. </p><p>Ahobri was sprawled out on my bed, “This is fabulous,” she said, grinning as I entered the room. </p><p>Thess was sitting on the edge, her feet barely touching the floor. She wasn’t comfortable sprawling out on her boss’ bed. </p><p>I flopped down next to Ahobri, giving her a kiss. The garage-lighting filtered through the skylight in the ceiling. </p><p>“Why’d you have the door locked?” she asked. </p><p>“I had some work calls waiting for me. I needed to respond to them,” I answered. </p><p>“Find bug yet?” Thess asked, looking around the room. </p><p>Ahobri looked over at me. </p><p>“I didn’t find anything,” I told Thess, then turned to Ahobri. “I thought the ship might be bugged, but there wasn’t anything to find. It’s just a security precaution.”</p><p>We finished our business on the ship. </p><p>Anticipating a meeting with Boz, I packed a couple dresses into my kit bag. I picked a pair of shoes that went with everything, along with jewelry and make-up. </p><p>***</p><p>It was sunset when we started the walk back to the apartment. </p><p>Ahobri led the way, taking us on a detour through The Square. </p><p>Thess marveled at the lights and graffiti. We bought beer, and drank it while sitting on the ledge of the dry fountain with it’s large stone dragon in the center. </p><p>The city began to bloom with her nighttime crowds. I held Ahobri’s hand as we walked through the busy streets together, scuffing my bootheels along the pavement. </p><p>Snoke’s threat hung heavy on my mind. </p><p>I would have liked to push back at him. His pompous attitude made me want to turn down Raj, but now they were forcing my hand. </p><p>My only comfort was that they didn’t know who Ahobri was. If they did, they would have told me. It was leverage. </p><p>But they were searching for her, searching for what I had hidden from them. </p><p>“Everything okay?” Ahobri asked, as we strolled. </p><p>“Yeah, just distracted,” I said. We were still ten blocks from the apartment.</p><p>Ahobri gave me a look that said she didn’t believe me. </p><p>“I’m thinking about Boz and Sul,” I continued, “I should check Rosie’s comms and see if Tiali got back to me.”</p><p>Ahobri sighed, “Good luck, he’s probably going to make us wait a day or two.”</p><p>“I can handle it,” I replied, “I’m also trying to get an idea of how many people have eyes on us.”</p><p>“Koval and Dreks know to keep an eye out,” Ahobri said, keeping her voice down, “They haven’t noticed anything.”</p><p>“We’ll see how accurate that is,” I said. </p><p>Thess was walking a couple paces ahead of us. She was beginning to gape less as she became more comfortable with the crowds, lights, and sounds. </p><p>We stopped for food at Ahobri’s favorite cart. She rattled off a long order, more than enough for the five of us. </p><p>I sent Thess around the corner for alcohol. </p><p>I sensed something suspicious in the final blocks. </p><p>There was a hooded Dressellian moving through the crowd. I felt his attention shift towards us. He was wandering past a produce and flower stall. I watched him pause, showing interest in what was for sale. It gave him time to observe us. </p><p>I was distinctive with the scar on my face. Ahobri was very noticeable in her loud pink and orange dress. </p><p>This was standard surveillance. I didn’t get the sense that the Dressellian was posted outside our apartment. He probably had a territory he covered with several different targets the Uhdeas wanted to keep an eye on. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> out to him searching for any kind of hint that he would become violent, or follow us. I didn’t get that sense. </p><p>After a couple of moments he moved on, never directly looking our way. I let him pass. </p><p>I’d bring it up with Koval and Dreks later. </p><p>The three of us entered the apartment building. I got off the elevator with my kit bag in hand, and went to check Rosie’s comms. </p><p>When I turned on the console there was a video message waiting for me from Tiali. </p><p>Her long regal face popped up in the holofeed, “His Excellency will meet with you tonight at 0100. Confirm by 2000 or you lose your spot.”</p><p>It was already 1930. I quickly punched in the code.</p><p>“Hey, Tiali,” I greeted. </p><p>She gave me a cold look, “Are you confirming the meeting?”</p><p>“Yeah, I’ll be there,” I said. </p><p>“Be early. Joll will escort you.”</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>Tiali closed the line. </p><p>Ahobri and I needed to get ready. It would take an hour and half just to fly down to Zeltros.</p><p>I jogged up to the apartment. </p><p>Dreks had more grav-ball on the holoprojector. Ahobri, Thess, and Koval were eating at the table. The air was hazy with water pipe smoke. </p><p>“We have a meeting with Boz at 0100,” I announced, dropping my kit bag and pulling off my boots in the hall. </p><p>“When?!” Ahobri shouted over the projector. </p><p>Someone turned the volume down. </p><p>“Four hours, planetside. We need to get a move on,” I said. </p><p>“I’m flying?” Thess asked around a bite of food.</p><p>“I don’t think so,” I said as I entered the living room, “We’re going to take a shuttle. I don’t want them to see Rosie.”</p><p>“Junk ship?” Thess teased. </p><p>“Exactly,” I replied, with a grin. </p><p>“I’ll call you a shuttle,” Koval said, “What time do you want?”</p><p>“2330?” I said, looking to Ahobri. </p><p>She was standing up from the table, beer in hand, “2300,” she said. </p><p>“I’ll get that started,” Koval said, “Anything else you need?”</p><p>“Nah, thanks Koval,” I replied. </p><p>Ahobri and I walked back to her room, taking a bottle of wine with us. </p><p>“I didn’t think he’d want to meet this soon,” she said, starting to dig through the closet, “He wants more intelligence.”</p><p>I was unzipping my kit bag, “He likes the money, too.”</p><p>Ahobri was tossing dresses onto the bed. </p><p>“Tiali said we’d be meeting with Joll before the meeting.”</p><p>“I guess he’s our handler then,” Ahobri said, moving on to her collection of shoes. </p><p>“Anything we need to worry about there, now that we’re in Jukhara’s bad book?” I said, pouring myself a generous glass of wine and topping off Ahobri’s. </p><p>“Don’t say that,” Ahobri chastised, “We’re not in Jukhara’s bad book.”</p><p>I had touched a nerve without meaning to. </p><p>I shouldn’t have joked about the change in their relationship. It hadn’t even been two weeks since Ahobri left The Outpost. She had lived and worked there for over a decade, and Jukhara was her mentor and confidante. </p><p>“Hey, I’m sorry,” I said, passing her the glass of wine, “Jukhara was pissed at me in our last meeting. I didn’t need to say that.”</p><p>“Thanks,” Ahobri grumbled. </p><p>I took a seat on the bed, pulling Ahobri to me, kissing her along her belly. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” I repeated, “I mean it. I know how much she means to you, to both of us.”</p><p>Ahobri kissed the top of my head, “Okay, I know you do.”</p><p>***</p><p>We got to work. </p><p>First, I pulled up the news on Senator Xanatta. </p><p>He had mysteriously disappeared. He was last seen leaving for an event and never arrived. New Republic investigators were looking into it. </p><p>I scrolled through the reports on my tablet for more information we could use to entice the Uhdeas and the Haaks. </p><p>My goal would be to get Boz to call Sul while I was there, and make a formal introduction over the comms. </p><p>If things went really well, we could do the deal with Sul on the spot, while we were all together. I doubted that would happen, but if it did that would save me a trip out to Dandoran. </p><p>“What do you know about Sul?” I asked.</p><p>Ahobri was trying on different dresses, deciding her outfit. I was glad to only have three choices, the shoes and jewelry would be the same for each. </p><p>“He’s… less established than Boz,” Ahobri said, struggling with a zipper. </p><p>I stood up to help her. </p><p>“He’s up and coming,” Ahobri clarified, “Which is why he has the territory in the northern quadrants now.”</p><p>“But he’s still on Dandoran,” I said. </p><p>The planet of Dandoran was a toxic mess; bad air, polluted water. Decades of planet-wide manufacturing and ship building had destroyed the environment.</p><p>“His crowd runs a little wild, from what I’ve heard,” Ahobri said, “He makes the Uhdeas look tame.”</p><p>“So what should we offer him?” I asked, returning to my tablet. </p><p>“Well, the money is going to help,” Ahobri replied, “I think we want to focus on his drug trade. He’s the main source for Blue, Spice, pretty much anything people are taking in that region.”</p><p>I scrolled through First Order intelligence reports. </p><p>By the end of an hour, I knew what I was going to present to Boz and Sul. My tablet and data chips were organized. </p><p>Ahobri was in the shower. I just needed to pull on a dress. It wouldn’t take any time to finish my hair and make-up. </p><p>I left the room, wanting to talk with Koval and Dreks before we left. </p><p>The three of them were at cards again. Empty food containers lay at the corners of the table, and an open bottle of whiskey was making the rounds. </p><p>Thess had a growing pile of coins by her elbow. </p><p>“Want to play a hand?” Koval asked. </p><p>“I’ve already lost all the money I want to lose to you,” I said with a grin, “I wanted to have a quick chat with you and Dreks.”</p><p>The two men put down their cards. </p><p>“How about we meet in your room?” I said. I turned to Thess, “I won’t keep them long.”</p><p>I followed Koval and Dreks down the short hallway to their quarters. </p><p>The space was plain. There were two beds, two trunks. Some clothes, bottles, and food wrappers were on the floor. It smelled like Gamorrean. </p><p>Koval pulled up a chair for me, and the two men took a seat on their trunks. </p><p>“So, I wanted to get a sense of what it’s been like working with Ahobri this past week,” I said easily, crossing an ankle over my knee. </p><p>“Uneventful,” Koval replied honestly, “We didn’t have any issues at the hotel. I’ve been the one going to market with Ahobri, and we haven’t run into any trouble.”</p><p>“Have any of the Hutts tried to contact you?” I asked, looking from Dreks to Koval. </p><p>I couldn’t feel any nervousness from them. They weren’t hiding anything. </p><p>“No ma’am,” Dreks replied, “We haven’t seen or heard anything.”</p><p>“Well, I just saw one of their eyes and ears a couple blocks from this building,” I said. </p><p>“What happened?” Koval asked, his beady eyes narrowing. </p><p>“Nothing happened,” I replied, “It was a Dressellian in a hood. He didn’t approach us, but I could tell that he noticed us. I have the feeling that he works a specific territory. He’s keeping an eye on whatever’s happening in the area.”</p><p>“A Dressellian in a hood...” Dreks said, his eyestalks swivelling as he thought, “Anything else you can give us?”</p><p>I shook my head, “That’s all I got. I didn’t engage with him. He just seems like he’s doing his job.”</p><p>“I’m sorry we didn’t catch it,” Koval said. </p><p>“Just stay alert,” I said, looking between the two men, “We’re dealing with Boz, and I have to be away on my other work. I can’t always be there to keep an eye out.”</p><p>“Yes, ma’am,” Dreks said smartly. </p><p>I got to my feet, indicating that our meeting was over, “I’m glad you took the job. Ahobri trusts both of you and there’s a lot of change happening.”</p><p>We walked back down the hall and I left them to their card game. </p><p>I had half an hour to finish getting ready. </p><p>Ahobri was done with her make-up by the time I returned. She was in a tight cream-colored dress that hugged her curves and showed off her legs. She had decided on heels that made her just a few centimeters taller than me. </p><p>She helped me get dressed while we finished the bottle of wine and did small bumps of Blue. </p><p>I was in a long, black, silk dress that covered my arms and shoulders, and plunged low in the front and back. I draped myself in necklaces and bangles. Ahobri twisted my hair into an elegant updo, set with a golden comb. </p><p>Ahobri did my make-up, using black on my lips and eyes, giving me one gold stripe down the center of my bottom lip. </p><p>“I liked what you did last time,” she said, pecking my cheek. </p><p>Ahobri and I hurried out of her room and down the hall. We were exactly on time. </p><p>Thess watched us in amazement as we dashed out in our fine dresses, jewelry, and bold make-up. </p><p>A minute later we were on board our shuttle, headed to Zeltros. </p><p>
  <b>II</b>
</p><p>What should have been an hour long flight down to Zeltros, dragged out to almost two hours. </p><p>Ahobri was right to have us leave early. </p><p>While we were stuck in traffic, I talked with the driver, making the same arrangement as last time - I’d pay him handsomely to circle the block and pick us up when we called him. I <i>ordered</i> him not to talk to anyone. </p><p>We also practiced our stories. After the meeting with Boz, we had disappeared for a few days, so I expected they’d be asking what we were up to. We agreed to say we had been on vacation in Mazhar - that gave us the freedom to talk about partying and having a good time without giving the Hutts any useful information. </p><p>Finally, the casino was on the horizon. It glittered, with its gold facade and flashing lights. </p><p>The driver helped me and Ahobri out of the cab. </p><p>A casino attendant escorted us into the bar where Joll was waiting. </p><p>“Right on time,” he greeted in his thick Huttese, slithering over to us from his booth. </p><p>“That’s all Ahobri. She knew we needed to leave early,” I said, kissing Joll’s wide leathery cheek. </p><p>I needed to keep my patience and play nice. I slipped him a thousand credits. He called a casino staffer over to take the money. </p><p>“Chancellor Kellis is holding a special session. We have politicians from across the system, all here for the next week,” Joll said. He turned to Ahobri, “Darling, you just bought your contract. How’s life beyond The Outpost?”</p><p>“Different,” Ahobri said with a charming self-deprecating smile, “Mara took me out on holiday for a few days.”</p><p>“Oh, where did you go?” Joll asked, taking her arm. </p><p>Ahobri chattered away, filling up time. She told him about being out on a yacht, zipping around on a water-speeder. She shared stories about all the drugs, the dancing, and the boys. </p><p>It made Joll feel like she was telling him everything, when really he was getting nothing.</p><p>As Ahobri talked, Joll led us through the system of back hallways and elevators that would take us to Boz’s court at the very top of the building. </p><p>“I heard about what happened to Senator Xanatta,” I said, leaning my back against the elevator wall, “How’s this little arrangement treating you?”</p><p>Joll was the lucky man to connect Boz and me. </p><p>“Life’s been treating me pretty well,” Joll said, smugly, “I seem to find myself with new privileges these days.”</p><p>“Is there anything we should know before we get into bed with Sul Haak?” I said, mischievously. </p><p>“He’s an upstart,” Joll said with a frown, crossing his flabby arms across his chest. </p><p>We were in the final stretch. Once again, we were patted down for weapons in the vestibule. Then we continued on to the exclusive elevator that took us to Boz. </p><p>The room was much more crowded than last time. There were more politicians, dressed in their fine robes. They were the Hutt cronies, here to pay their respects. </p><p>I hoped that no one here could recognize me. This sector was neutral.</p><p>I kept my awareness extended, wanting to sense any potential trouble before it happened. </p><p>We weren’t kept waiting this time. </p><p>Joll took us directly to the back corner of the room for our audience with Boz. </p><p>Our heels clicked against the black marble floors and I felt eyes following us as we marched straight into Boz’s audience chamber, Joll slithering beside us as an escort. </p><p>“Nobody-girl!” Boz announced as we entered the cordoned off space. He had a wide greedy smile on his ugly face.</p><p>I made a curling smile in return, my eyes glittering. </p><p>“You both look stunning. Come here,” Boz said. </p><p>He was on his dais, surrounded by his women and associates. I spotted Tiali, the tall beautiful Utapaun woman, and Holst, his consigliere. </p><p>I approached demurely, offering him my hand, “Your Excellency.” </p><p>He planted a very wet kiss that covered my hand, wrist, and forearm. </p><p>I stepped back so Ahobri could receive the same treatment, and, for a moment, I imagined what it would be like to stride in wearing my robes and lightsabers. I could just tell him what I wanted. I wouldn’t have to play these games. </p><p>Boz ushered us into his office. There was a formality to the order that people entered. First went Boz, then Holst and Joll. Afterwards it was Ahobri and me, followed by Tiali and a protocol droid. </p><p>“Thank you for meeting with us so quickly,” I said as Boz slithered to his place behind his desk. </p><p>“Take it as a gesture of good-will,” Boz said, tongue sliding from one corner of his mouth to the other, “I remembered that you were interested in receiving an introduction to Sul Haak. What’s your offer?”</p><p>“Your Excellency, my employer is willing to pay thirty thousand credits for an introduction,” I began, projecting my voice to have the attention of the room, “I also have sensitive information about upcoming troubles in the Kastolar sector.”</p><p>“You’re bold, nobody-girl. And you always seem to come bearing bad news,” Boz said, planting his fat hands on the desk. </p><p>“My employer and I want to help you take care of any problems that may lie ahead,” I replied, sweet and charming. </p><p>Boz laughed, a short booming sound, “I’m interested in the information, but thirty thousand credits isn’t enough to buy an introduction. Sul Haak would be offended to know your price was that low.”</p><p>This was the warm-up.</p><p>“I’m willing to pay fifty thousand credits, if you introduce us tonight, over your comms,” I said, cool and composed. </p><p>Now we were playing. </p><p>Boz leaned towards me, his red-orange eyes soaking me up, “Sixty thousand credits, and I’ll call him right now.”</p><p>“Done,” I replied. </p><p>Boz motioned for Tiali to fire up his comms array. The protocol droid stiffly shuffled over to make the transfer of credits and intelligence. </p><p>Tiali punched in a code, and another woman’s face swam up in the holofeed - she was a wispy purple Twi’lek, draped in gold jewelry. </p><p>“Keelu, His Excellency is calling for Sul.”</p><p>“Yes, madam,” the purple Twi’lek said with a curt bob of her head. </p><p>The holofeed went to gray static for several moments. When the video opened again, the screen was filled with the face of a much younger Hutt. </p><p>His features were wide, ugly, and asymmetrical, but his leathery skin was in sandy shades of tan and red. His eyes were yellow, and more alert than Boz or Holst.</p><p>“Boz!” he greeted, loud and warm. It sounded like he was drunk. “What’s the occasion?”</p><p>I had to fight a smile at his informal greeting. </p><p>“Sul,” Boz began, a firm reprimand in his voice, “I’m calling to make a formal introduction, and to present an opportunity to you.”</p><p>“Aye? What is it?” Sul asked, not getting the hint. </p><p>I could feel frustrated tension running between Holst, Boz, and Tiali. Immediately, I knew I was going to enjoy working with Sul. </p><p>“I’ve gone into business with a nobody human girl, Mara Zhang, and her associate Ahobri Verbek,” Boz said, refusing to drop his formalities. </p><p>I was shocked that Boz remembered our names. I thought he was calling me nobody-girl because he had forgotten. </p><p>He continued, “They’ve presented me with a very lucrative territory deal, and they’d like to make you an offer as well.”</p><p>Sul sobered up by a couple of degrees as Boz talked. There was a shrewd glimmer in his eyes now. </p><p>“I assume they’re with you now,” Sul said, “Can I see them?”</p><p>Boz motioned us over. Ahobri and I joined him in front of the console. </p><p>Ahobri seemed much less frightened than she was last time. That was good. Her time with Ekene and his rich friends had given her more self-confidence. </p><p>“Well, they’re pretty,” Sul said, his tongue playing with the corner of his mouth, “One of them looks a little rough though.”</p><p>I made a mean smirk, crossing my arms over my chest, “I’m Mara Zhang. I’m the one who handles the money.”</p><p>Sul laughed, a hand against his large belly. </p><p>“So do I call you ‘Your Excellency’?” I asked, teasing him. </p><p>“Only my girls call me that,” he shot back, happy to banter, “You can call me Sul.”</p><p>Boz and Holst were impatiently watching our exchange. At my side, Ahobri was fighting a smile. </p><p>“My employer has an offer for you. Information and credits, in exchange for a reduction of certain activities-” I began.</p><p>“I don’t make deals with anyone I haven’t met in person,” Sul said, cutting me off. He turned to face Boz, “This is one of those anonymous organization things, isn’t it?”</p><p>“That’s correct,” Boz said, his arms folded across his chest. </p><p>“And who do we think she’s working for?” Sul asked, idly putting a finger in his large wet mouth, “A politician? A company? Someone in the New Republic? Someone else?”</p><p>I could feel Boz’s anger rising at the callous disrespect, “We don’t know who she’s working for,” he said, “But I’ve found the quality of her information makes up for the lack of details.”</p><p>“Huh,” Sul replied, and spat, “All right Mara. Come out to Dandoran tomorrow and we’ll discuss this deal of yours. Someone there can transfer the contact information. Call me when you’re on the way.”</p><p>“I look forward to it,” I said. </p><p>Boz turned to me and Ahobri, “Ladies, I need to have a private word with Sul. Stay at the casino as long as you like. You’re my guests.”</p><p>It was tempting. Having Boz’s privilege at the casino meant free drinks, access to the VIP rooms, and high stakes tables. But there would be eyes on Ahobri and me the entire night. The Hutts wanted to find out more about us, and a night of drinking and gambling left most people sloppy and careless. </p><p>“Thank you, Your Excellency,” I said, shaking his hand. </p><p>Ahobri followed suit, then Joll escorted us out of the room. </p><p>“So what do you think of Sul?” Joll asked, putting his hands around our waists. </p><p>“I think he wants Boz to kick his ass,” I said with a wicked smile. </p><p>Joll laughed, “He’s on Dandoran for a reason. But he controls the gates for the drug trade in the ten sectors.”</p><p>I made a note to give Ahobri another thank you for her information. </p><p>Joll invited us to stay and have a drink with him. We agreed - we still needed to wait until someone brought us Sul’s contact information.</p><p>Ahobri carried the conversation, showering Joll in attention, making him feel like the big man in the room. </p><p>I kept to myself, talking just enough to appear friendly. My awareness was extended in case there was someone who recognized me. </p><p>My thoughts circled back to Snoke’s threat, and the anticipation of what Ymir had planned for me. </p><p>We had a couple of drinks with Joll before Tiali came with a data chip for Sul’s private comms. </p><p>Joll was planning to hit a couple of the high stakes tables. He wanted us to stay with him. </p><p>I declined, saying that we needed to get ready to leave for Dandoran. </p><p>“It’s only a few hours away,” Joll said, his arm snaking its way around my waist again. </p><p>I was losing patience fast. </p><p>“My employer keeps me on a tight leash,” I said with a dark little smile, “I need to make my report.”</p><p>“All right, go work,” Joll replied, “But I’m not letting you off so easy next time.”</p><p>Pathetic. </p><p>Ahobri could tell that my patience was almost used up. She got between Joll and me, simpering and sweet. </p><p>We left Boz’s audience chamber without an escort and entered the elevator going down.</p><p>“You need to learn how to play nice,” Ahobri said, frustrated, her arms crossed over her chest. </p><p>I grimaced, mouth turning to the side, “I know how to play nice,” I replied, “I just don’t want to.”</p><p>“Just let things be easy for once. You know how to smile and stroke their egos, so just do it.”</p><p>I leaned against the elevator wall. “I dunno, I think we have a good dynamic,” I said, giving her a teasing look, “You get to be beautiful and poised, and I get to be scary and mean...”</p><p>I pulled Ahobri to me, our hips pressed together. I kissed her. </p><p>We broke apart as the elevator doors opened. </p><p>There was a second trip through the vestibule, then Ahobri called our shuttle. </p><p>The shuttle was waiting on the landing when we arrived. </p><p>***</p><p>Our trip back to Artrix was uneventful. We got dropped off on a landing at the apartment. </p><p>When we showed up, Dreks and Thess were still awake, watching sports on the holofeed. There were beer cans and snack wrappers littered on the table in front of them. </p><p>“Welcome back,” Dreks said, two of his eyestalks twisting towards us. </p><p>Ahobri began opening a bottle of wine. I took a casual seat on the arm of the sofa. </p><p>Thess looked up at me, completely captivated. </p><p>“What?” I asked her with a playful smile. </p><p>“Both so pretty. For work?”</p><p>I couldn’t help but laugh, my head tilting back, “Yeah, it’s part of the job,” I said, putting a friendly hand on her shoulder.</p><p>“You are too sweet,” Ahobri said to Thess, filling our glasses. She gave me a kiss on the cheek on her way out of the room, “I’ll be in bed.”</p><p>“Thess, I’m going to put you to work tomorrow.”</p><p>Thess smiled, “Flying?”</p><p>“Yeah, we need a ride to Dandoran.”</p><p>Dreks was listening, but he wasn’t going to ask any questions. It was professional courtesy as part of my tiny security team. </p><p>“New ship?” Thess asked. </p><p>“Yup,” I confirmed, “Get your rest.”</p><p>I wandered down the hall to Ahobri’s room with my glass of wine. </p><p>She was undressing. Her headtails draped down her back. </p><p>“Well, that was an eventful evening,” she said, pushing the tight dress down her hips, stepping out of the snarl of fabric. </p><p>“You were perfect,” I said, kissing her. “I’m so happy to be here with you.”</p><p>Ahobri kissed me back, a soft sigh escaping her mouth. </p><p>I set my wine glass down. I was kissing her neck, sucking on her breasts, kneeling to kiss between her legs. </p><p>I felt so close to her, listening to her moans and gentle cries as I filled her with my fingers, lapping at her with my tongue. I could feel the way heat and desire moved across her body. </p><p>We drifted off into a sweaty, comfortable sleep together. </p><p>
  <b>III</b>
</p><p>We woke up sometime after noon. My head was foggy and my mouth was dry. </p><p>Ahobri was starting to shift and murmur in bed next to me. </p><p>“I think we should get up,” I said, rubbing at my eyes. </p><p>“What time is it?” she grumbled. </p><p>“I dunno, but the sun’s up,” I said, pushing myself out of bed, opening the window slats. </p><p>“Aw, c’mon!” Ahobri complained, throwing an arm over her eyes. </p><p>I pulled a robe out of Ahobri’s closet and wandered down the hall for caffeine. </p><p>Koval was the only one in the living room. He sat at the table, playing a game on a tablet. </p><p>“Where’s Thess?” I asked, moving into the kitchen. </p><p>“I think she’s still in bed.”</p><p>Her and Dreks must have stayed up late. </p><p>I finished making caffeine and gave Koval a mug, then carried one down the hall for Ahobri. </p><p>She was in the shower.. I left the mug on her vanity. </p><p>I went down the second hall to wake Thess. </p><p>I knocked on her door with a fresh mug in hand. I heard rustling.  Thess opened the door, peeking out. </p><p>“Late?” she asked nervously. </p><p>“No, I just woke up,” I said handing her the mug, “We need to leave soon, though, so get yourself ready.”</p><p>All my clothes and belongings were already aboard Sawai, so there wasn’t much for me to do. I pulled on a plain outfit and made sure my kit bag was packed with my tablet, credits, blaster, and lightsabers. </p><p>On the way out, I asked Koval for one of his blasters. I realized that I needed to stock my ship with handheld weapons. Another task for the list. </p><p>***</p><p>The three of us were out the door within the hour. Ahobri only had one suitcase for me to carry. Thess had a plain kit bag in her hand. </p><p>We stopped for breakfast at a street stall, ordering bowls of eggs, starch, and vegetables.</p><p>“Do you have any real food on your ship?” Ahobri asked as we sat at the counter. </p><p>“There’s stuff to eat,” I answered with a shrug. </p><p>“Thess, does Siobhan have more than beer and moco? On either of her ships?”</p><p>Thess was fighting a smile as she shook her head. </p><p>“We’re going to pick up actual food,” Ahobri said. </p><p>“It’s a short trip,” I said, “Six hours to get there.”</p><p>“Then we won’t buy that much,” Ahobri replied, primly, “You need to have more than alcohol and snacks.”</p><p>Ahobri took us to a corner store for reheatable food packs that had vegetables. She also bought several bottles of wine and liquor. </p><p>I gave her a teasing glance as we paid. </p><p>“I just said that you need to have actual food on your ship, not that we can’t have a good time,” she said, loading the bottles into a bag. </p><p>When we arrived at the garage, I had a valet bring Sawai around, using one of my anonymous accounts to finish paying for her storage. </p><p>It was hard to get used to thinking of this ship as mine, with her elegant lines and smooth gray-gold paint job. I was proud to have her, but still worried that I hadn’t been able to find any bugs that Raj might have planted. </p><p>“I’m going to go check my messages and tell Sul we’re on the way,” I said, “Thess, if you haven’t picked out a room for yourself yet, go choose one.”</p><p>“I’ll put my things up,” Ahobri said, giving me a kiss before heading to the captain’s quarters.  </p><p>When I got to the cockpit, there weren’t any new messages. At once, I felt relieved and worried. </p><p>Ymir and I hadn’t talked for days, which was very unusual. </p><p>I was still waiting on Tynne, to tell me when The Smuggler’s Alliance would be meeting. </p><p>I didn’t mind having radio silence from Raj and Snoke. I wasn’t looking forward to hearing from either of them. </p><p>I thought about calling Ymir, then decided to type a message. I fired up my freshly installed secondary comms: [Got a lead on Sul Haak, meeting with him on Dandoran today.]</p><p>Maybe it was a coward’s move to send a message instead of calling Ymir, but things were going well. I didn’t want to be yelled at right before a job. </p><p>I pulled up Sul’s code and called him. </p><p>A female Bith in a very low-cut, strappy, black dress answered. </p><p>“Hey, this is Mara Zhang,” I introduced. </p><p>In the background, I heard loud conversation, laughter, shouts, and music. </p><p>“Sul is expecting you today,” she said, glancing at something happening beyond the camera. </p><p>“Yeah, we’re just about to ship out. We should be there in a few hours.”</p><p>“I’ll tell him,” the Bith answered, and closed the line. </p><p>I was feeling good about this meeting. At least I wouldn’t be stuck making flowery speeches to some old, fat, Hutt boss. </p><p>I re-opened the cockpit door and began warming up the engines. I turned on the ship’s comms, “Ladies, we have clear skies ahead. We will be departing in T-minus one minute,” I announced in a mockingly formal voice. </p><p>Thess came in right away. </p><p>She took a seat in the copilots chair, watching my hands to see where the controls were. </p><p>I began to take Sawai up and entered an outbound traffic lane. </p><p>“I do hyperspace numbers,” Thess said.</p><p>“Yeah, sure thing.”</p><p>Ahobri joined us as we travelled through atmosphere. I piloted us away from the outbound traffic lanes, dispersing into open space. </p><p>“Sul knows we’re coming?” Ahobri asked, draping her arms around my shoulder and kissing my cheek. </p><p>“I got ahold of one of his women,” I answered. </p><p>Thess was hunched over the console, working on the hyperspace coordinates. She finished and looked up at me, “Move over,” she said, flashing a grin. </p><p>“All right, it’s time to earn your keep,” I replied, switching into the copilot’s chair. Ahobri took a seat in my lap. </p><p>Thess pressed the button and I watched the stars stretch out in front of us. </p><p>“We should spend more time on those reports,” Ahobri said, “I get the feeling Sul is going to try to play us.”</p><p>“I read manual and specs,” Thess said, looking down at the console. </p><p>We set up shop in the cockpit. Ahobri and I took the back row of seats, while Thess stayed in the captain’s seat poring over the ship’s information. </p><p>I felt well acquainted with the interior of Sawai, but I wasn’t familiar with her weapons system, or any other bells and whistles that were installed. I had spent all my time searching for a tracker. </p><p>Ahobri brought us a bottle of wine that we passed around as we worked. </p><p>***</p><p>Halfway through the trip, Ahobri pulled a baggie of Blue out of her cleavage. </p><p>“Thess, do you like stims?” I asked, as Ahobri set up a couple of bumps on the back of my tablet. </p><p>“What kind?” Thess asked, looking up. </p><p>“We have Blue,” Ahobri answered. </p><p>“Sure,” Thess said, unfolding from the captain’s seat and joining us on the benches near the door. </p><p>We turned the bumps into lines to sniff. It stung my nose and dripped, astringent down the back of my throat. </p><p>This was not Thess’ first time trying Blue. She took her line in one go, wiping at her nose in a habitual motion. </p><p>“We can leave you the bag when we go in to meet with Sul,” I told her, “I’m going to need you to watch the ship, and I have no idea how long we’re going to be.”</p><p>“Thanks, yah,” Thess replied, returning to the pilot’s seat and reading through the manual. </p><p>Ahobri and I talked through possibilities. </p><p>I felt confident that the deal itself would be easy. Sul was a hotshot - he wanted money, power, and fame within the family. I knew how to talk to men like that. Ahobri was worried that he would try to double cross or undermine us, or that Boz would use Sul to try to find out our true affiliations. </p><p>“We haven’t talked about what to do if someone recognizes you,” Ahobri said, her wine glass in hand, her feet in my lap. </p><p>I sighed, “I mean, there’s not much I can do, depending on the person,” I said, “I’m looking pretty different these days, the scars and tattoos don’t match how most people remember me.”</p><p>“So you just plan on denying it?” Ahobri asked. </p><p>“If I can get away with it, sure,” I replied. </p><p>“And if it’s someone from The Smuggler’s Alliance?” </p><p>“Then it’s obvious I’m striking deals with other groups, and I figure out what fires I need to put out afterwards,” I said. </p><p>“Has Tynne contacted you about the meeting yet?”</p><p>“Not a word,” I replied, “He said it might be a couple of weeks, so that’s how long I’ll wait.”</p><p>“All right, you know him better than I do,” Ahobri said. “I don’t like that we’re going in blind to this meeting with Sul. Did he say anything about having someone meet us when we arrive…?”</p><p>I shrugged, “I think we’ll just have to play it by ear,” I said, not at all concerned. </p><p>“I’ve heard his house is rough,” Ahobri said. </p><p>“I’ll bring my blaster,” I replied with a grin.</p><p>I remembered I needed to give Thess Koval’s borrowed weapon. </p><p>***</p><p>With an hour left of hyperspace, it was time to get ready. </p><p>I had my satchel organized with my tablet and credits for bribes. </p><p>Ahobri had several thousand credits tucked away in her bag. </p><p>She wore a simple outfit, keeping her look more understated. Her dress was tan and floor-length with a black leather jacket on top. She wore flashy gold jewelry, with thick cuffs around her wrist and neck, and earrings that dangled to her shoulders. Her make-up was in shades of gold and coral. </p><p>I was going to be the tough one. I had my tight black pants with my blaster on my thigh. I wore a dark gray shirt that plunged to my belly, showing off plenty of cleavage. I had my olive jacket on top. I looped gold necklaces around me, and every finger had a ring. I kept my make-up simple, with black around my eyes and lips. </p><p>When I was dressed, I headed up to the cockpit to give Thess instructions for the trip. I had the baggie of Blue tucked away in a pocket. </p><p>“So, I want you to understand the situation and what I need you to do,” I said, sinking into the copilot’s seat. </p><p>Thess looked over at me. </p><p>“Once we arrive, the Hutts are going to do what they can to figure out our identities,” I began, “They’ll see this ship, which gives them something to look into. I want you to make sure no one comes close, for any reason. No one touches this ship. Someone might try to offer you something, like refueling her for free, but you just tell them no. Understand?” </p><p>Thess nodded.</p><p>I passed her Koval’s blaster, “Now I don’t want you starting a firefight, but you should let them know you mean business if you have to.”</p><p>“I keep away,” she said. </p><p>“And be ready to leave in a hurry,” I added, “I don’t think things will go sideways, but you never know… and if anyone calls for me, don’t answer!”</p><p>Thess grinned at me, the dimple in her cheek bending the lines of her tattoos. </p><p>***</p><p>We arrived at the edge of the Outer Rim. Dandoran sat in front of us. Clouds swirled yellow, orange, and red across the surface. </p><p>This wasn’t Artrix and Zeltros - we weren’t confined to inbound and outbound lanes. This planet had no security. </p><p>We punched in the coordinates to Sul’s house, and I called to let them know we were arriving. </p><p>Another woman answered. This one was a female Dug, rings on her fingers and gold earrings lining the outside of her large floppy ears. </p><p>“Who’s this?” she asked. </p><p>“Yeah, this is Mara Zhang. I’m meeting with Sul Haak,” I said, friendly and direct, “Where do you want us to land?”</p><p>“There’s a lot out back,” the woman said, “I’ll tell him you’re here.”</p><p>She closed the line. </p><p>Friendly bunch.</p><p>I switched my comms to the local smuggling frequency, listening to the chatter as we descended. </p><p>Nothing was out of the ordinary. </p><p>Ahobri made her way into the cockpit, her bag around her shoulder. </p><p>Thess took us down to a small compound - three buildings, clustered together. They were squat, round, metal silos, each with a slanted conical roof on top. I guessed they were ten stories high. </p><p>Ships were parked in a circle around the compound, people were roaming freely between the building and their vehicles. </p><p>“Take us down to the edge of the lot,” I instructed, looking out the windows. </p><p>This ship was going to attract attention. She was too nice for this crowd. </p><p>I hoped that it would be an advantage, a sign of wealth. A part of me wished that I had just brought Rosie. </p><p>Ahobri was not impressed with this place. She had a prim, judgemental look on her face as we came down to land, dry dirt swirling up around us. </p><p>“Like I said, no one touches this ship,” I reminded Thess, hooking my satchel over my shoulder, “If anything starts to get hairy, give me a call on the comms.”</p><p>“Good luck,” Thess said. </p><p>I gave her a smile. </p><p>***</p><p>The air on Dandoran was acrid and stale. </p><p>Ahobri coughed, bringing her jacket sleeve up to her nose. My breath caught in my throat, but it was nothing compared to Korriban. </p><p>We hadn’t gotten any instructions on which building to go into. I decided to try the busiest one first. </p><p>We joined the throngs of people headed inside.</p><p>This environment felt similar to Maz Kanata’s house, with crowds coming and going, but the interior felt a lot more like Grimjack’s. </p><p>The air was smoky. It smelled like stale beer and warm bodies. </p><p>It was loud. People were pressed close together at the bars and gambling tables. </p><p>I extended my awareness, <i>searching</i> for Sul, and staying on alert for any trouble that might come our way. </p><p>“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me…” Ahobri grumbled as we walked past tables and alcoves filled with loud drunks. </p><p>Shouts and whistles followed us. </p><p>Everyone looked like a smuggler or bounty hunter. There were many Hutts spread throughout the place, flabby and leather-skinned. </p><p>“I want to make a circuit before we start asking anyone for help,” I said, linking my arm with Ahobri’s. </p><p>Men watched us as I shouldered over to a bar, ordering two shots and two beers. I left my coins and a big tip on the counter. We tilted our shots back and began exploring the building. </p><p>The place was a crowded mess. There was gambling and dancing. Droids were pitted against each other in raucous cage matches. </p><p>We travelled up the floors. All of them were dim and filled with all kinds of species. </p><p>With Ahobri holding onto my forearm we slipped through the spaces, listening to shouted arguments from booths and dodging a couple of fist fights on the way. </p><p>I loved it. </p><p>Ahobri had her lips pressed together, trying to keep the disdain from her expression. </p><p>Finally, near the top of the building, we found a ramp with two large Weequay guards holding poleaxes. They had blasters on their hips. I noticed more Hutts on this floor. </p><p>I marched up to the guards, all confidence and swagger. </p><p>“My name is Mara Zhang,” I announced, “I have a meeting with Sul Haak.”</p><p>The two Weequay looked between each other. </p><p>“Sul said to keep an eye out for you,” one of the Hutts said, slithering over. </p><p>He was an old-timer, hunched, wrinkled, and gray. His eyes were blood red, sunken into his wide face. There was a yellow crust around his eyes, nose, and mouth. </p><p>“I’ll see you up,” he said, waving us through the guards. </p><p>“I appreciate that,” I replied, slipping a few hundred credits into his palm as we took the curving ramp up a level, “This is my associate, Ahobri Verbek.”</p><p>“Elgar,” he said, stashing the credits and shaking my hand, “One of the perks is having pretty ladies like you paying me.” </p><p>I fought the urge to sigh and roll my eyes as I followed him up the ramp. </p><p>Sul’s court was just as rowdy as the rest of the house.</p><p>The upper floor felt like the lower floors, with dim lighting and smoke hanging in the air. People jostled elbow-to-elbow. There were card games and arguments. Girlfriends were hanging off their men. </p><p>I didn’t see a dais, or any central meeting area. </p><p>Elgar slithered his way through the crowds, hopefully taking us to Sul. </p><p>Ahobri had a hand on my upper arm. </p><p>We worked our way to a stall built into the back corner of the room. </p><p>I recognized Sul right away. </p><p>For a Hutt, he looked young. He was on the slender side for his species. There were women draped across him - I recognized two of them from my earlier conversations, the purple skinned Twi’lek, Keelu, and the Dug, covered in gold jewelry. </p><p>“I have two guests for you,” Elgar introduced, taking a place within the group. </p><p>Sul’s yellow eyes crawled over me, “I’ve seen your face…”</p><p>He had clearly been drinking. Cups and plates littered the table. Someone had set up a water pipe in the center. </p><p>“I’m Mara Zhang,” I introduced with a cocky smile, “This is my associate, Ahobri Verbek.”</p><p>Sul looked us up and down with heavy-lidded eyes. </p><p>“I remember... you’re here to make a deal with me,” Sul said, head swaying. </p><p>What a fucking joke. </p><p>“Good memory. We talked yesterday,” I jabbed. </p><p>Ahobri squeezed my hand painfully, almost making me wince. </p><p>Sul’s eyes flared to life at the disrespectful comment. His women were looking at me. </p><p>A tense moment passed between us. There was silence in the group. </p><p>Then Sul began to laugh. I watched the wave of relief pass through his crew, as they began to loosen up. </p><p>“Mara Zhang…” Sul said, getting a taste for my name, “You have my attention.”</p><p>“I want to talk in private,” I said, glancing from his stall full of cronies to the room. Behind us there were eruptions - shouts, laughter, and drunken singing. </p><p>“Well, you don’t get to talk with me in private,” Sul said, smiling as he bantered with me. </p><p>“You said you don’t make deals with people you haven’t met,” I replied, leaving a pause, “Well, I don’t make deals in front of spectators.” I had a playful glimmer in my eyes. </p><p>Sul paused, considering me, “You gave Boz the information on Bahol and Fir, right?”</p><p>“That was me.”</p><p>“I have business here for the next few hours,” Sul replied, “If you want to meet in private, you have to wait. I’ll send Keelu down for you when I’m ready.”</p><p>Gods, maybe I shouldn’t have pushed it…</p><p>“Which one is Keelu?” Ahobri asked, looking at the cluster of women. </p><p>Sul nodded towards the purple skinned Twi’lek. She looked between the two of us. </p><p>“All right. You can find me at one of the gambling tables,” I told her. </p><p>“If you want to gamble…” Sul pointed at Elgar, “Take Mara and her friend to Issod’s game.”</p><p>“Thanks,” I said with a wink, “Don’t keep us waiting too long, now.”</p><p>I had probably doubled the time for this trip.</p><p>Elgar escorted us back down the ramp and past the security. Ahobri kept her arm linked with mine. On the outside she looked cool and connected, but I could feel her frustration. She thought we had just received the brush-off. </p><p>We followed Elgar down a hall on that upper floor, arriving at one of the high stakes rooms. </p><p>Issod was a Hutt old-timer, running a game of Sabacc. He was big and wrinkled, with dark, mottled skin. </p><p>There were four people at the table already; an aggressive looking Chagrian, a Nemoidian wearing robes far too nice for this dive, one female Wookie with silver around her snout, and a Rodian. I noticed that the Rodian had the most chips on the table. </p><p>“I’m bringing two girls for you,” Elgar said, “Sul wants you to keep them entertained before the meeting.”</p><p>“Ladies, welcome to the game,” Issod said, slithering over, taking our hands. </p><p>“I’m not playing,” Ahobri corrected. She was not a gambler. It was why she was able to hold onto her money. </p><p>Issod introduced me to the table, before seeing to Ahobri. She took a spot on the sofa and entertained herself with drinks and a water pipe. </p><p>The buy-in was a thousand credits. I laid them out on the table. </p><p>I expanded my awareness, getting a sense of the room and the cards. </p><p>This was going to be too easy. </p><p>Ahobri tried not to react as I steadily began winning money. This was not my usual style.</p><p>I made sure to lose more often than I won, but I made the wins count and kept my losses small. If Sul was going to make me wait. I was going to walk away with a profit. </p><p>The whole time I kept up a patter, talking with the other members of the table. The Wookie wasn’t useful to me. I had never learned their language of grunts and growls. </p><p>I tried to be strategic, picking up on the court gossip, getting a sense of the people that were here. </p><p>I learned that Sul was ambitious. </p><p>To me, he seemed like a hotshot, someone who wanted money and fame. The house wasn’t organized, and he didn’t follow the Hutt formalities, but these people felt like he was going places. </p><p>In just two years he had cornered the drug market in the sector. The Hutts hadn’t had a house on Dandoran in decades. He had established it himself. There was a group of old-timers that were loyal to him - they saw his potential. </p><p>I knew exactly how I was going to handle this deal. </p><p>We played round after round of Sabacc. Several players made big wins. The Wookie had a hot streak, but I gathered the most chips. </p><p>By the time Keelu was coming in to collect me and Ahobri, I had a profit of six thousand credits. </p><p>I said my goodbyes, scooped my winnings into my satchel, and gave Issod a warm handshake and a thousand credit tip. </p><p>“You’ve gotten better at Sabacc,” Ahobri said quietly as we followed Keelu up the ramp. </p><p>“I’ve been practicing,” I replied. </p><p>We entered the fray again. The crowded room smelled like smoke, alcohol, and dozens of species sweating together. </p><p>Keelu slid through the chaos with practiced grace. We soon found ourselves at the entrance to a back room. </p><p>It was just as shabby as the rest of the house. </p><p>Sul was smoking a water pipe. He had three women draped across him, silent and glassy-eyed. As I entered the room, he shooed them away. I watched them stumble past us. </p><p>I noticed a shabby protocol droid stationed by the door. </p><p>“So, Mara,” he greeted in his booming Hutt voice, “You have me all alone. What’s this deal you have for me?”</p><p>“Your man, Issod, he runs a good table,” I said with a friendly smile, “How long has he worked for you?”</p><p>Sul gave me a suspicious look of approval, “He’s my right-hand man. He’s been with me since the beginning.”</p><p>“Your people speak highly of you,” I continued, “I was trying to get some gossip, but no one said anything I could take advantage of.”</p><p>Ahobri was at my side, simmering with uncertainty. </p><p>Sul ate it up. </p><p>The Hutt slowly slithered over to me. We were around the same height. I gazed at him evenly. </p><p>“I like you, girl,” he said, his hands resting against his wide body, elbows out. “Boz is suspicious of you. He said you were full of yourself, but I think I like you.”</p><p>I made a roguish wink. </p><p>“Boz gave me the details of his deal,” Sul said, “So what’s your offer?”</p><p>I gave him the speech. I offered him two hundred fifty thousand credits each cycle for him to move all piracy, smuggling, and supply-line extortion out of specific areas. </p><p>His territory was smaller than what I was asking Boz to give up. I showed him the map on my tablet. I had overlaid it with a report about stings the New Republic had planned on a few of his drug manufacturing sites. </p><p>“So you’re hoping to bag me for half of what you’re paying Boz?” Sul asked, as he considered the deal. </p><p>“You can do the math. We’re not asking you to clear out of the same amount of territory,” I said, “Besides, all your money is coming from Spice and Blue, not from piracy.”</p><p>Sul gave me a greedy smile, the tip of his tongue poking out the corner of his mouth, “You have a lot of information about us, and still we don’t know anything about you…”</p><p>Sul was close, moving in a slow circle around me. </p><p>I didn’t get the sense that he was about to be violent. I kept my cool and stayed silent, letting him say what he needed to say. </p><p>“You’ll be bringing me new information with each payoff,” Sul continued. His eyes were focused, “Can I request information?”</p><p>“You can,” I replied, “But I can’t make promises about what I can deliver. It all gets handed down to me from my employer.”</p><p>“Your employer seems to know an awful lot about us,” Sul said, giving me a sharp look, “What if I asked for information about, say, the Uhdea’s?”</p><p>I did not like where this was going. </p><p>With my awareness extended, I felt Sul’s greed, his desire to move upward in his family. But this could very easily be a ploy from Boz, to see if I would pit them against each other or undermine them.</p><p>“Seeing as how we’re doing business with both of you. I wouldn’t want to sour our deal with espionage,” I replied. </p><p>Sul gave me a sly look, “But I think you like me more than Boz.”</p><p>I laughed, “I definitely like you more than Boz. But I’m here to make a deal, not start a clan war.”</p><p>Sul had a large, crafty smile on his face, “I’ll take this deal,” he said, shaking my hand, “But you should consider my offer. We could keep this between the three of us.” </p><p>He glanced purposefully over to Ahobri. </p><p>I negotiated seven percent for myself as a kickback on the arrangement. I think Sul let me take the large percentage to butter me up for next time. </p><p>When we were done, Sul shouted for one of his women. She came in with a large bottle of whiskey, pouring glasses for us. </p><p>“To the fine things in life,” Sul toasted, “Money and women.”</p><p>We drank. </p><p>Sul intended for us to keep drinking with him, “You played my game and spent your day here,” he said, an arm around my waist, “Now I’m going to show you ladies a good time.”</p><p>He led us out from his meeting room, making introductions across the floor. We were suddenly VIPs.</p><p>***</p><p>Sul and his crowd could drink. </p><p>My cup was never empty. I did my best to ride a buzz and keep my composure, but after a few hours, that hope disappeared. </p><p>We were all close, laughing too loud, telling dumb stories. I mishmashed details from old smuggling jobs, changing all the names and locations, still hitting the high notes. </p><p>By the time I started to brag, Ahobri was stepping in to make excuses and give us an opening to leave. </p><p>Sul wanted us to stay the night. He wanted to see what information he could get. </p><p>He wanted us. </p><p>I remembered saying goodbye to him, but still I was surprised when I found myself stumbling back aboard Sawai. </p><p>“We’re here!” I announced in the open cockpit door, “Anyone give you trouble?”</p><p>I was leaning in the doorway. Ahobri was hefting me up. </p><p>Thess immediately saw how drunk we were, “No. They simple. Someone offer fuel. I made go away.”</p><p>“Good on you,” I said. </p><p>“Thanks, Thess,” Ahobri said. “We’re going to sleep this off.”</p><p>Ahobri walked me up to my quarters. I helped her out of her clothes, sloppily kissing my way along her body while she laughed and gasped. </p><p>Thess was taking us off Dandoran. I could hear the engines and feel the movement of the ship. </p><p>Ahobri and I fell onto the bed together. We kissed and groped for a couple minutes, but Ahobri was exhausted, allowing herself to fade into sleep. </p><p>My head was spinning. I was still elated from the deal. </p><p>I tucked Ahobri in and changed into a simple outfit - leggings and a tunic. </p><p>I grabbed a few beers from the kitchen and returned to the cockpit. </p><p>We had made it through atmosphere. We were floating in open space. </p><p>Thess was working on the hyperspace calculations. “Artrix?” she asked, looking up. </p><p>“Yeah, we’re going back to Artix,” I said, flopping into the copilot’s chair. </p><p>I allowed my head to fall back against the seat. “Shit, I need to message Ymir real quick,” I said, “Anyone call while we were in there?”</p><p>“Yah,” Thess said, “Message.”</p><p>I cracked open the beers, passing one to Thess while I leaned over the console. </p><p>It was Tynne. </p><p>“Thank the gods,” I said as I pulled up the video message. </p><p>Tynne’s grizzled, bearded face popped up in the console feed. “Siobhan, we’ll be holding a council meeting in four days, at Matthias’ house. Confirm when you receive this message.”</p><p>“Fuck yes!” I said with a grin, punching into the air. </p><p>Thess was giving me a funny look, “Good news, yah?”</p><p>“Great news. I just scored a meeting with the entire Smuggler’s Alliance,” I told her, “You got any Blue left?”</p><p>Thess pulled the baggie out of a compartment in the dash. We cut out lines on the glass console screen. Mine was large. I needed to clear some of the alcohol away before calling Tynne back. </p><p>I leaned into my chair, feeling the powder drip its way down the back of my throat. I sat still for several moments, letting the stimulant do its job of bringing my brain back online. </p><p>“Okay, that’s better,” I said, wiping my nose as I called Tynne. </p><p>His face popped up in holofeed. I was glad not to be talking to Channa. “That was quick,” he said, with wry humor.</p><p>“You made me wait long enough,” I replied, with a playful grin. </p><p>“Who’s that with you?” Tynne asked, looking towards Thess. </p><p>“That’s my pilot, don’t mind her,” I said. </p><p>“So you have a pilot now? For that scrap heap?” </p><p>Thess had a hand over her mouth to hide her smile. </p><p>“Yeah, I’m moving on up in the world,” I told Tynne, the alcohol still making my tongue loose, “I’ll be there for the meeting.”</p><p>“Four days,” Tynne said sternly, “Is that other girl coming with you? The Twi’lek?”</p><p>“Yeah, she’s my right hand.”</p><p>“Do you know where Matthias’ place is?” Tynne asked, scratching a cheek. </p><p>“Nope,” I replied, “I only ever saw him on your ships.”</p><p>“I’ll send you the coordinates and the meeting time. The exact time. Don’t be late, Siobhan.”</p><p>“Wouldn’t dream of it,” I replied, “Thanks for arranging this.”</p><p>Tynne gave me a look - it was knowing and suspicious. He closed the line. </p><p>I flopped back in my chair, making a long sigh of relief. I had all the Hutts in the bag, and I was about to secure the rest of the Smuggler’s Alliance with one meeting. </p><p>“Who that was?” Thess asked. </p><p>“My old boss, with the Smuggler’s Alliance,” I told her. </p><p>“Sound like good boss,” Thess said. </p><p>I looked over at her with a warm smile, “He was,” I said, “But I really pissed him off when I joined the Resistance.”</p><p>Thess brows drew in while her eyes widened in surprise, “Resistance?”</p><p>Aw shit. </p><p>“Hey, I still need to send another message,” I said, retreating, “How about I tell you that story once we get into hyperspace?”</p><p>“Want to know,” Thess said. </p><p>I was not going to risk calling Ymir with my mind bent on alcohol and stims and Thess sitting next to me in the cockpit. </p><p>I leaned over the console and typed up a message. </p><p>Ymir and I hadn’t talked in days - one of the longest stretches since Korriban. Snoke’s conversation made me nervous. Ymir had had days to look into my lies, days to try to discover Ahobri’s identity. </p><p>[Just finished securing the deal with Sul Haak. Tynne Precore got back to me. The Smuggler’s Alliance council meeting is four days from now. I’ll get the report sent over.]</p><p>Everything was going smoothly. </p><p>Still, there was a sinking feeling in my chest. </p><p>“Okay, that’s it, you can take us into hyperspace,” I said, taking a deep gulp of my beer and cutting out another line of Blue. </p><p>Thess triple checked the coordinates before launching us into hyperspace with the press of a button. </p><p>
  <b>IV</b>
</p><p>“You Resistance?” Thess asked, gazing intensely at me. </p><p>She was not going to let me off the hook. </p><p>“Are you asking if I’m part of the Resistance?”</p><p>Thess was frozen, worried that she was about to offend me. </p><p>I gave her a sideways grin, drinking more of my beer, “I’m not. I was an engineer with them for five years. I don’t work for them anymore.”</p><p>Thess’s shoulders fell, relieved that I wasn’t angry with her, “But… you Sith?”</p><p>“I wasn’t when I joined up,” I said. </p><p>Thess was still looking at me, transfixed. </p><p>“What are you thinking?” I asked, pinned in place by her intense yellow gaze. </p><p>She tilted her head to the side, expression screwing up as she thought through her words - deciding what she wanted to ask me. </p><p>“You not like Kylo Ren,” she finally said, brows drawn in, “Not like First Order, but you Sith, was Resistance.”</p><p>She pulled in a brave breath, “What your story?”</p><p>I couldn’t help but laugh at her mangled sentence and serious expression. </p><p>“Don’t laugh!” she protested.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” I said, shaking my head, “You want to know my story? What happened?”</p><p>Thess nodded.</p><p>“I really don’t share this with many people,” I grimaced, finishing my beer.  </p><p>I <i>suspended</i> the can and <i>flattened</i> it - my old trick from hours of flying alone. I let it drop to the floor. </p><p>Thess glanced from the can, back to me, captivated by the unexpected magic trick. </p><p>I sighed. I was used to telling parts of my story, whatever I wanted people to know. Tynne knew my father was a Rebel. I told people I was raised on a farm in Tevel, when that information would help me. Only a handful of people knew the whole thing. </p><p>“Alright, fine, I’ll tell you,” I said, cracking open another beer, “I’m going to do another line first.”</p><p>Thess tilted her beer back while I nudged out little doses of Blue on the console. </p><p>We sniffed up the powder and I settled back into my chair. </p><p>“So, my dad flew with the Rebellion,” I began, taking my time, “He was one of their hero pilots, he flew at the Battle of Endor.”</p><p>Thess was curled up in the captain’s chair, her legs crossed in the seat. </p><p>Blue was singing through my mind, opening me up. “Him and my mother got married right at the end of the war, and when it was over she made him go into hiding to start a family,” I continued, “She pulled him out to Tevel. They started a farm, way out in the fucking sticks, and that’s where I was born.”</p><p>I glanced over at Thess, “You have anyone in your family fight in the Resistance or the Rebellion?” </p><p>She shook her head, “No, we keep away,” she said, “War happen. Nothing change.”</p><p>I barked a laugh. “I hear that,” I said, “So when I was fourteen or fifteen, Tevel was colonized by the First Order, and my family started getting real nervous that we were going to be found out. My dad wanted to rejoin the Resistance, but my mom was too scared. She said she would leave him.”</p><p>I really was out of my head. I had never told anyone that part before. </p><p>I paused, lips pressing together, my brows drawing in, “The day the First Order came for my dad… he got a bad feeling a few hours before. He had my brother and mom and me all in the living room. He wasn’t going to try to run. He wasn’t going to fight. He planned to surrender. He thought it might convince them to spare the rest of us.”</p><p>Thess was looking at me seriously, hanging on to every word. </p><p>“Lord Ymir was the one who came for my dad,” I said, allowing a beat to pass for Thess to absorb that information, “He walked into our home… and… and it was like being struck by lightning,” I used Ekene’s words, “I didn’t know who he was, but I felt the Force, and I just… knew. I felt that we were the same. But he was in our home to kill my father.”</p><p>There were tears leaking out of the corner of my eyes as the memory rose up in my mind. </p><p>“I tried to save my dad, but there was nothing I could do,” I said, managing to keep my voice calm, “It was Lord Ymir, and I was only fifteen years old. He killed my father in front of us.”</p><p>“Siobhan…” Thess said, her voice was soft. </p><p>“But we could sense each other. He felt the Force in me, so he left me alive. He saw my potential and he wanted to train me,” I said, wrapping the whole sad story up. </p><p>I brushed at my cheeks with the heel of my hand.</p><p>“You, Kylo Ren, training together?” Thess asked carefully.</p><p>“No,” I shook my head, making a little laugh, “No, Ymir left me on Tevel. He wanted me to hunt him, so I became a smuggler and a Resistance fighter, all trying to find him.”</p><p>A moment of silence stretched between us. I stared at the swirling blue outside the cockpit windows.</p><p>“I’m going to kill Ymir one day,” I said.</p><p>Thess stiffened with fear and surprise. She gasped, a reflexive sound. </p><p>“It’s alright,” I said with a ragged grin, “He knows. It’s part of our arrangement, as teacher and student.”</p><p>“You scary,” Thess said, tilting back the rest of her beer. </p><p>“Only sometimes,” I said with a grin, passing her a fresh can. </p><p>She took it from me, snapping it open. </p><p>“So, you got any sad stories you want to share?” I suggested, leaning in the copilot’s chair, putting my feet up on the dash. </p><p>“Not so sad,” Thess said, “I tell family story. You want know?”</p><p>“Yeah, I want to know more about you,” I said. </p><p>With Blue and alcohol singing through my mind, I wouldn’t be sleeping anytime soon. </p><p>I listened quietly while Thess told me about growing up as a nomad in the Atrivis sector. </p><p>She was also carried away on Blue, the most talkative I had ever seen her. She fumbled through her story in broken Galactic Standard, and I put the pieces together. </p><p>Her people lived like the Smuggler’s Alliance. They had cruisers that were used as mobile ports, housing families and their ships in between jobs. </p><p>The main populace of Atrivis didn’t like the culture or religious practices of the Ithan, or that they stuck to their own language. They were outsiders, never allowed to stay in towns for long, always moving, always met with suspicion and fear. </p><p>Thess’ dad had been killed on the job when she was little. She was the youngest, with many older brothers and sisters. Her mom was always in poor health. Recently her mother’s illness got worse. Thess’s uncle had managed to start a farm on Fedje, on some of the worst land at the outskirts of a town. They thought living planet-side could help her mom recover. </p><p>While Thess was a good pilot, she was also the youngest in the family. She agreed to go down for a few cycles, expecting one of her sisters to take over. </p><p>The money that the rest of the family sent in was never enough. </p><p>When the First Order showed up recruiting soldiers, Thess amazed them with her piloting skills. She was able to pass her signing bonus on to her family, a small fortune for them. It was money for food, medicine, and fuel. Enough to keep them afloat for a few cycles.</p><p>The time in her unit was awful. She was an outsider. Even in the First Order, the rest of unit kept their old prejudices and harassed her at every opportunity. There were a couple other Ithan soldiers here and there, but they were all in separate units, and one by one she saw them sent out to the labor crews. </p><p>My offer came at the perfect time. </p><p>“I want take credits to family,” she said at the end of her story. </p><p>“Yeah, we can’t just send them to an account right?” I said glancing over her way. </p><p>Thess shook her head. </p><p>“Let’s think about it. We can figure out a way to send your familymoney.”</p><p>We lapsed into silence.</p><p>I remembered shoving credits into my mother’s hands, right before I abandoned her and my brother. </p><p>Our conversation had taken up most of the hyperspace trip. </p><p>I slumped in my chair, trying to nap, while my mind hummed with the stimulant. </p><p>***</p><p>I woke up - or, more accurately, I opened my eyes - when Thess took us out of hyperspace. </p><p>“Here,” she said. </p><p>I pushed myself up in the chair.</p><p>There was a light blinking on my comms. </p><p>Ymir had responded. </p><p>I pulled up the message while Thess began flying towards one of the inbound traffic lanes. </p><p>The message only contained two words: [Call me.]</p><p>Fear pushed cold through my chest. My stomach knotted. </p><p>Thess noticed the change in my expression, “Bad news?”</p><p>“Probably. I’m not sure if I want to hear it now or wait,” I said, settling into the chair again. </p><p>The stim was still making my thoughts buzz, but I felt the cloudy grip of a hangover starting to squeeze my temples. </p><p>I put my head in my hands.</p><p>I didn’t want to deal with this right now. </p><p>I wanted to get planet-side, have some breakfast, sleep for twelve hours, and then call Ymir back. </p><p>That just wasn’t going to happen. </p><p>“Hey, Thess, I’m going to make this call. I need you to leave the cockpit,” I said, still looking down. </p><p>“Leave?” </p><p>“Yeah, I’ll call you back up when I’m ready. I just might wind up taking this bird down to Artrix, though.”</p><p>Thess nodded and brought Sawai to idle in open space, far from the people travelling towards the surface. </p><p>“I like talking with you,” she said as she made her way out of the cockpit. </p><p>“Me too,” I replied. </p><p>Thess closed the cockpit door behind her. </p><p>I sat for a while in the empty space, enveloped by silence, trying to gather my thoughts. </p><p>I was frightened. </p><p>Just hours ago, Thess had said that I was scary. She didn’t know how uncertain I felt. </p><p>Snoke and Raj were dragging me into their scheme. </p><p>I remembered Snoke’s warning to me. Ymir knew I was lying to him, and he was trying to discover what I had actually been doing. </p><p>Ymir might have information that could lead to Ahobri getting hurt. </p><p>I could deal with the Hutts and the Smuggler’s Alliance - I knew how their game worked. </p><p>I wasn’t prepared for this call, but I would have to figure it out. </p><p>I took a deep breath and punched in the code to Ymir’s line. </p><p>He answered immediately. </p><p>“Where are you?” he asked, his voice and expression were cold. </p><p>I didn’t want to answer him, in case it confirmed any of the information he had.</p><p>It had been less than a week since we had last spoken, but it felt like years had passed. I felt the gulf of distance between us. </p><p>“... I just got back to Artrix,” I finally answered. </p><p>Snoke had found out about the deal I made with Jukhara and the First Order. He had correctly assumed that I had hired someone that I used to work with at the brothel. There was no reason for Ymir not to have figured that out. </p><p>“You need to report back to The Finalizer. Immediately. We’re going to talk,” Ymir said, leaving no room for conversation or argument. </p><p>“I told you, the Smuggler’s Alliance is meeting in four days. It takes an entire day just to get to The Finalizer,” I protested. </p><p>Ymir’s expression was cold. His hair was neat, tied at the base of his neck. He wore fine dark robes. He was beautiful. </p><p>“You’re coming to The Finalizer. I’m not going to repeat myself,” he said. </p><p>I stared at him, trying to come up with anything that could get me out of this mess. </p><p>There was nothing. </p><p>“Then you’ll see me in a day,” I said, daring to be the one that ended the call. </p><p>The video feed closed and I was left alone in the cockpit. </p><p>I slumped back in my seat, feet planted on the metal floor. </p><p>“Fuck!” I shouted, slamming my fist against the dash. </p><p>Pain bloomed across the side of my hand. Lights blinked and flashed on the dash from the sudden impact. </p><p>I sat with my forearms on my thighs, just breathing, trying to gather my thoughts. </p><p>The alcohol and stims weren’t helping me one bit. </p><p>My breath was quick, my heart beating against my sternum. </p><p>There were worse things than Ymir telling me to report to The Finalizer. </p><p>I had the meeting arranged with the Smuggler’s Alliance, that gave me leverage. He’d have to be incredibly angry with me to throw all that work away. </p><p>But what if he was? This could be a one-way ticket to the brig. </p><p>Taking deep breaths, I brought Sawai’s engines up and began piloting her down planet-side. </p><p>I made a quick call to the apartment, asking Koval to meet me at one of the garages in Mid-town to escort Ahobri. </p><p>I called Thess up to take over piloting once we were through atmosphere. </p><p>“Okay?” she asked, switching seats with me. </p><p>“Not really,” I admitted, “We’re headed back to The Finalizer.”</p><p>“Turn around?” Thess asked, tilting her head. </p><p>“Oh fuck no. We’re dropping Ahobri off first,” I said, “I left the directions to a garage on the console. I’m going to wake her up and let her know what’s going on.”</p><p>My throat was tight as I made my way up to the captain’s quarters. </p><p>Ahobri was fast asleep in bed, sheets pulled up to her chin. </p><p>I slid into bed beside her, kissing her cheek, “Hey, love. We’re back home.”</p><p>Ahobri grumbled and groaned, rolling over. </p><p>“I just got orders. I have to report back to Ymir,” I said, running my hand down her side. </p><p>“Oh, what for?” Ahobri asked, pushing herself up. </p><p>“Just a meeting,” I said, the lie twisting inside of me, “Tynne got back to us. The council meeting is in four days.”</p><p>“That’s great news!” Ahobri said, catching a sudden yawn. </p><p>She shook her head, the long green tails waving with the movement. </p><p>“Yeah, I just need to head out to The Finalizer for a couple days, then I’ll be back to pick you up for the meeting,” I said. </p><p>Ahobri was up, pulling on clothes, tossing outfits back into her suitcase. </p><p>“I can’t waste time,” I said, “We’re parking at one of the local garages, Koval is on his way to pick you up.” </p><p>As if on cue, Thess used the ship’s comms, “We landed.”</p><p>I grinned, hearing her soft burbling voice over the speakers. </p><p>“I felt bad,” Ahobri said, “That poor girl was stuck on board this ship while we had all the fun.”</p><p>“We’ll get her out to a party sometime soon,” I said. </p><p>I carried Ahobri’s large suitcase. She bustled around to say goodbye to Thess, kissing the girl on the cheek. </p><p>Thankfully, Koval was there to greet us at the garage. I passed him Ahobri’s suitcase and we hugged and kissed our goodbyes. </p><p>“I’ll see you in a couple days,” I said, assuring myself more than her. </p><p>“See you soon, love.”</p><p>Then I was back aboard Sawai. </p><p>I returned to the cockpit, “Alright, back to fucking Starkiller Base,” I said. </p><p>Thess took us up. </p><p>I realized that she had never navigated inbound and outbound traffic on Artrix before, but she pulled it off without breaking a sweat. </p><p>My thoughts were churning in my head. </p><p>I needed to talk to Ekene. </p><p>“Thess, I need to make another private call before we head into hyperspace,” I said. </p><p>Thess took us into unoccupied space, then left to give me privacy. </p><p>I called Ekene’s line. </p><p>Thankfully he answered. </p><p>“What is it?” he mumbled. The videofeed was dark. </p><p>“Hey, Ekene, it’s Siobhan,” I said. </p><p>“I know who it is,” he complained, “I wasn’t going to answer my comms for anyone else.”</p><p>The video feed came on. He was in bed. His hair was a mess. He had a couple weeks of beard on his cheeks, which I had never seen before.  </p><p>“Then I’ll get right to it,” I said, “Ymir didn’t talk to me for a week, and now he’s making me report back to the Finalizer to ream me out. I need to know if you told him anything.”</p><p>“About Ahobri?” Ekene said, pushing his hair from his face. </p><p>“Yeah, he’s pissed at me for a lot of things, but I told him that a civilian is working for me. I was careful, he shouldn’t know her name or anything about her.”</p><p>“Siobhan, I didn’t breathe a word to him,” Ekene said, “I’m surprised you’re even asking me.”</p><p>“I just need to be sure,” I said. </p><p>“Look, just don’t be an asshole. Try apologizing, it might get you somewhere,” Ekene advised. </p><p>“Not sure I have it in me,” I said with a wry smile. </p><p>“Then you’ll get what’s coming to you,” Ekene said, some familiar light twinkling in his eyes, “Come out to my Estate soon. I just got back.”</p><p>“Sure, maybe in a week. I’m closing the deal with the Smuggler’s Alliance,” I told him, “I’m going to need a place to celebrate.”</p><p>“Good luck, dear,” Ekene said. </p><p>“Thanks,” I replied and closed the line.</p><p>I could put one of my worries to bed. </p><p>I began working on the hyperspace calculations to the Unknown Regions. They came together quickly, since I didn’t need to factor in a fuel stop. </p><p>I sighed and slumped in the captain’s chair as we enterd the swirling blue of hyperspace. Only uncertainty lay ahead.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>According to my outline, we’ve crossed the half-way mark for Book 3. </p><p>In our next chapter, Siobhan is going to have to deal with the consequences of her scheming. </p><p>As always, thanks so much for reading, and I always appreciate your comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Reckoning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Siobhan is in trouble. </p><p>Ymir has summoned her back to The Finalizer after discovering that she revealed her identity to a civilian. Her Master also knows that she is being involved in a plot to overthrow him. </p><p>Siobhan has a choice to make - stay loyal to her Master and Kylo Ren, or continue down her path of revenge.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'll be marathoning the Star Wars sequels sometime soon. I only saw Rise of Skywalker once and I'm so excited to watch it again, and cry over the ending. </p><p>Expect to see posts about it on <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/andromeda-rising-897">Tumblr</a> and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/andromeda.rising">Instagram</a>.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>I</b>
</p><p>Twelve hours in hyperspace lay ahead of us before Starkiller Base.</p><p>My hangover was starting to take hold. I moved to the captain’s quarters to try to catch some shut-eye. </p><p>I showered, happy to have a real shower with flowing water, not the drizzling mist I was used to on Rosie. Steam fogged around me as I scrubbed my face, washing off the party, pulling the alcohol out of my pores. </p><p>Anxious thoughts surged in my mind. I was walking into a clusterfuck. </p><p>In four days I’d be meeting with the Smuggler’s Alliance to finish my deal with them, clearing them off of the First Order’s hyperspace routes, completing my assignment. </p><p>A full twenty four hours of that would be spent in hyperspace, just getting to and from The Finalizer. That didn’t even count the time I’d be on the ship getting yelled at by Ymir. </p><p>What if he was going to do more than yell?</p><p>My thoughts chased me as I dried off. </p><p>Ymir couldn’t throw me in the brig. It would put a hitch in his plans. </p><p>That was my only assurance. </p><p>I dropped into bed.</p><p>Now I was regretting taking Sawai and Thess out to The Finalizer. Ymir seeing my ship and my new pilot might make things worse. </p><p>It was too late to change anything. </p><p>I closed my eyes, shifting positions in the bed. I tried to give myself over to blankness and focus on my breath. </p><p>I had a headache. The stims were whispering in the back of my mind, allowing my thoughts to be a constant stream of chatter - neverending. </p><p>Eventually I dozed, slipping into the space that came just before sleeping. </p><p>My body was restless, ideas churning away into nothingness. </p><p>I was still awake. I couldn’t stay in bed. </p><p>I got up and pulled on a robe, then changed into loose training clothes. I rummaged around in my kitbag for my lightsabers and secured them to my belt. </p><p>I left the captain’s quarters and went below to the ship’s training room. Inside was all the equipment I needed. The room had treadmills and weight racks. There were also machines that I had never seen before and didn’t know how to use. </p><p>The lighting was bright and unforgiving.</p><p>I jumped onto a treadmill and began running, ramping up the pace until I was sweating and panting for air. I ran on the little machine until all that was left was the slap of my feet against the belt and the expansion and contraction of my lungs. </p><p>When I was done, I threw up on the floor. </p><p>I hunched forward, my hands on my thighs, staring at the sad mess I had made. </p><p>For the past few days all I had been doing was sitting around, drinking, and talking. I hadn’t been training or meditating. It had been more than a day since I had eaten anything. </p><p>I began to laugh, head shaking, my hair sticking to my sweaty face. </p><p>I found a towel in a metal cabinet and wiped up the mess, throwing the rag down a chute in the wall. Hopefully there was a laundry droid I didn’t know about. </p><p>Slowly, I did a simple calisthenics routine - stretches and exercises I remembered from basic. </p><p>Afterwards I did lightsaber drills, moving through familiar patterns. </p><p>Finally, I felt ready for meditation. </p><p>My mind was clouded with doubt, strangled by fear. I didn’t know what Ymir had in store for me. I didn’t know what Snoke and Raj were trying to do. </p><p>I didn’t know if I was going to fail Ahobri. </p><p>I sank into the Darkside, allowing those thoughts to move through me. </p><p>I refused to meet Ymir with fear in my heart. It would only give him power over me. </p><p>The Darkness shifted and keened beneath me, in this place of meditation, thirsty for my emotions.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Take my doubt. Take my pain. Take my fear.</p>
  <p>Take my doubt. Take my pain. Take my fear.</p>
</blockquote><p>I chanted these words until my heart beat steady in my chest. I repeated them over and over for hours, until I didn’t feel like shrinking away. </p><p>***</p><p>With my head clear, I wandered to the kitchen for food. </p><p>Thess was sitting at the long metal table. She had a mug of caffeine and was playing a game of Dejarik on a holoprojector. </p><p>“Siobhan,” she greeted. </p><p>“Hey, did you sleep?” I asked, putting a hand on her shoulder. </p><p>Thess held a hand up and wiggled it side to side. “Half,” she replied with a shrug. </p><p>I laughed. “Yeah, same here,” I said, “You know how much longer we got?”</p><p>“Four hours,” Thess answered. </p><p>Enough time to get my things organized and do some planning. </p><p>I heated up two meal packets - vegetables and starch in some kind of sauce. </p><p>I ate my meal across from Thess while she started another round of Dejarik. </p><p>“Gods, I’m so glad Ahobri convinced me to stop for food,” I said with a smile. </p><p>“She’s nice,” Thess said, “She say friends long time.”</p><p>“Yeah, for almost nine years now,” I replied, “She’s always been there for me.”</p><p>I hoped that Ymir and Snoke hadn’t discovered her. </p><p>***</p><p>The final hours of the flight I spent preparing. </p><p>I had thousands of credits - from gambing, from my kickback with Sul, and the credits I had intended for bribes.</p><p>From my hours spent searching for bugs, I knew where all the good hiding places were, so most of the money was stashed in hallway panels. If Ymir sent anyone to search my ship, they would know to search my quarters or the cargo bay. I wasn’t going to make it that easy on them. </p><p>I also stashed the little baggie of Blue, letting Thess know I was putting the stims away. </p><p>Back in my quarters I worked on my report for Ymir, detailing the meetings with Boz and Sul. I left out the part of the negotiation where Sul tried to get information on Boz. </p><p>That was an interesting development, and I didn’t know what to make of it. From Sul’s attention after the deal, I guessed that he was serious; he actually wanted me to provide him with dirt on Boz, and probably other members of the Hutt family. However, if he was in league with Boz, and this was a test, then I’d risk getting myself kicked to the curb, blacklisted by the Hutts. </p><p>I wanted to talk this over with Ahobri. She had slept through the flight back to Artrix and we hadn’t been able to review the encounter together. </p><p>I queued up my report to send when I left hyperspace. </p><p>The last hour was spent making myself look the part. </p><p>I took time with my hair, brushing it out and setting it in two braids that looped at the back of my head. I decided against make-up, but I scrubbed my face and plucked my eyebrows. </p><p>I covered myself in a set of black formal robes, with a high collar, and gloves on my hands. My face was the only visible part of my body. </p><p>My lightsabers were hooked on my belt. </p><p>I packed a kit bag with a single set of training clothes and a civilian outfit. I told myself I wouldn’t be on the Finalizer for long - Ymir could only keep me a day before I needed to leave for the Smuggler’s Alliance meeting. </p><p>Thess was in the cockpit when I arrived. We only had a few minutes until we left hyperspace. </p><p>I put my feet up on the dash and cradled my head in my hands. </p><p>“I don’t know what’s going to happen once we’re aboard,” I told Thess, playing it cool, “I have a meeting with Ymir, but he didn’t tell me when it was.”</p><p>I hoped they weren’t going to immediately drag me to the brig. </p><p>We popped out of hyperspace; Starkiller Base loomed white and gray on the horizon. The Finalizer sat in front of her, a massive blot in front of the planet. </p><p>I called the Bridge, asking for a hangar. A Lieutenant directed me to Hangar One, as usual. Thess brought us in. </p><p>For once, the space was crowded with ships. </p><p>I spotted Ymir’s diplomatic cruiser, shining and silver. Ren’s transport ship was parked here, its wings raised in a wedge shape above. There were two more transport ships, taking up space. </p><p>When we landed, we took the last open spot. Hangar One was full. </p><p>We were greeted by the usual welcome party - Hux stood at the front with a couple Commanders at his side. </p><p>He swallowed anxiously as I approached. I had my kit bag in hand and Thess at my side. She was still in civilian clothes - I hadn’t saved any fatigues or First Order uniforms for her. </p><p>The unit made a salute. This time, I didn’t mind the formal attention. Hopefully, it meant that Ymir wasn’t ready to turn the tables on me just yet. </p><p>“Madam Siniang,” Hux said stiffly, shaking my hand. </p><p>“Hux,” I replied, with a mockingly warm smile, meeting his pale eyes. </p><p>“Lord Ymir has been informed of your arrival,” Hux said, launching into a prepared speech, “He’s currently meeting with other officers. You’ll be called up when he’s ready for you.”</p><p>“Thanks,” I replied sweetly, “I’d like quarters to be set up for my pilot. Something nice. Something with a window.”</p><p>“Of course… yes, Madam,” Hux said with a polite nod. </p><p>This had to be nerve wracking for him. I had caught him gossiping about Ren and me. I had settled our disagreement privately, but he must still be worried that I’d tell Ymir or Ren about the nasty rumors he had been spreading. </p><p>I wasn’t getting tired of watching him squirm. </p><p>“I’ll be in my quarters,” I announced to Hux, “Thess, come with me.”</p><p>I strode off towards the elevators, taking Thess up to the elite hall where Ymir, Ren, his Knights, and myself had our rooms. </p><p>All I could do was wait. </p><p>I sat around with Thess for half an hour. We pulled up entertainment feeds on the holoprojector. When I gave Thess the controls, she put it on grav-ball. </p><p>My thoughts were ramping up, nervously anticipating what was going to happen when I met with Ymir. </p><p>“I’m going to go stretch my legs,” I told Thess, rising from the sofa. </p><p>She barely glanced my way, completely caught up in the game. </p><p>At least one of us was enjoying themselves. </p><p>***</p><p>I made my way up to the bridge. I hadn’t seen Ren yet, and I didn’t think he’d be in his quarters. </p><p>I guessed right. Ren was standing at the main control console with Hux. </p><p>“Lin,” Ren greeted, “Is Lord Ymir still meeting with our Captains?” There was an edge to his voice through the audiofeed. </p><p>He must know that I was here to get yelled at. </p><p>“Yeah, someone’s going to call me up when he’s done,” I replied, making myself act casual. </p><p>“We should review the last leg of your assignment,” Ren said, “Come with me to the briefing room.”</p><p>Fuck. </p><p>“Yeah, sure thing,” I replied, following Ren’s swirling robes as he led me to a room off the bridge. </p><p>The metal doors slid shut behind me. </p><p>“What do you know?” I asked rudely, crossing my arms over my chest. </p><p>I wasn’t going to let Ren steer this conversation. </p><p>“Lord Ymir is very upset,” Ren said, unable to keep the amusement out of his voice. </p><p>It was even more obnoxious to hear through the audiofeed.</p><p>I glared at him, in the heavy mask, hidden away under layers of black. “What did he say to you?”</p><p>Ren stepped forward, reaching for me, resting a knuckle beneath my chin, “Why should I help you?” he growled, playfully - glad to have the upper hand for once.  </p><p>“Don’t waste my fucking time,” I snarled. </p><p>“Are you nervous?” Ren shot back.</p><p>This was not going the way I wanted. </p><p>I sucked in a breath, willing myself towards composure, “It was Raj’s decision to make the ship. I didn’t have anything to do with it,” I said, seeing if I could get Ren to talk. </p><p>“Lord Ymir said that you brought on a civilian to help with your assignments,” Ren said. I could hear him smirking. </p><p>Ren had met Ahobri, but I didn’t know what kind of significance he had taken from our night at The Outpost. I had no idea if he even remembered her. </p><p>“I’m on this assignment because no one else in the First Order can do these jobs,” I sneered, “I don’t know why I keep getting shit when everything is going just as planned.”</p><p>“You’re always running some kind of scheme.”</p><p>“You’re both being paranoid,” I said, testily, “So, what did you tell Ymir?”</p><p>“I told him that you lie so much it’s impossible to know whether you’re telling the truth or not,” Ren said, moving one step closer. </p><p>“I do my best,” I said with a mean grin.</p><p>I could feel him <i>reach</i> for me, but my aura was cloaked. No one could see into my heart or my thoughts. </p><p>Ren had me backed against the doors, looming over me. “You lack discipline,” he growled. </p><p>Heat was moving along my body, responding to Ren’s anger. </p><p>“Want to teach me how to be a good soldier, like you?” I taunted. </p><p>Ren ran the back of his hand down the side of my cheek, “I’m not going to let you distract me,” he said. His voice was low and smooth through his mask.</p><p>Ren pulled away, opening the doors to the bridge, “My Knights are in training room C-11, if you want to practice.”</p><p>I left the bridge with a smirk. If Ren was willing to be playful with me, I might still have a chance. </p><p>I returned to my quarters. </p><p>Thess had another game playing on the holoprojector. </p><p>“Man come by,” she said when I entered, “Mask. Not Kylo Ren.”</p><p>“Did you get his name?” I asked. I hoped it was Yuri. </p><p>Thess shook her head, “Forgot. He come back.”</p><p>I sprawled out on the sofa. </p><p>I felt like a soldier again - sitting around, waiting for orders, waiting for something to happen.</p><p>Thess didn’t have any worries. She sat on the sofa, watching sports on the projector. </p><p>Sometime later there was a buzz on the console. </p><p>I opened the door to find Yuri standing in his training clothes, his mask tucked under his arm. </p><p>“Hey!” I greeted, “Come in.”</p><p>“Thanks,” Yuri said, putting a friendly hand on my shoulder as he stepped inside, “It’s good to see you.” </p><p>He walked over to Thess, who was turning off the holoprojector. “I hope I didn’t scare you when I came by earlier,” he said. </p><p>Thess was perched on the edge of the sofa cushion, trying to figure out how to respond to this man that looked similar to Kylo Ren, except friendly. </p><p>Yuri’s training clothes were all black, tight around the muscles of his shoulders and arms. His face was tinged red from training and his closely-cropped hair was sweaty. He had a few day’s worth of beard on his cheeks. </p><p>“Can I get you a drink?” I offered, walking to the liquor cabinet. </p><p>“Sure, thank you,” he replied. </p><p>“I’m Yuri,” he said to Thess, holding out a wide hand. </p><p>“Thess…” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. Her small tattooed hand disappeared in his.</p><p>Yuri took a seat in one of the chairs, not sure what to do with the small, nervous girl in my sitting room. </p><p>I poured three short glasses of whiskey for us. </p><p>“Thess is my pilot,” I said, breaking the ice, “How were things in Ado?”</p><p>Yuri made a grunt as he settled back in the chair, taking a sip of his whiskey. “We had a rocky start,” he began, “The loyalists in the military armed their civilians. We spent the last few weeks subduing dissidents.”</p><p>“Got some shore leave any time soon?” I asked. </p><p>“I think a few days rest on The Finalizer is all we’re getting,” Yuri said, “Lord Ymir is meeting with us tomorrow for our next assignment.”</p><p>“Is everyone here then?” I asked.</p><p>“Half of us are here,” Yuri answered, “It’s me, Adram, and Gallo. Kav, Ghent, and Thalin are out with General Pryde.”</p><p>He turned to Thess. “This is my first time meeting you,” he said, with a friendly look, “How long have you been Siobhan’s pilot?”</p><p>Thess looked down, then looked back up, “One assignment,” she said in her soft, burbling voice.</p><p>Yuri tilted his head in confusion at the stilted response. He waited to see if Thess would continue, but she looked down at the floor again, clasping her hands. </p><p>“And how was the last assignment?” he asked, directing his question towards me - amusement in his eyes.  </p><p>“I think I have the Hutts in the bag,” I said, taking a sip of my drink, “The Smuggler’s Alliance got back to me. I’m just worried that Ren and Hux are going to be impatient with the expansion strategy-”</p><p>There was another buzz at my console. I moved towards the door. </p><p>A black uniformed officer was waiting outside. He gave me a crisp salute, “Madam Siniang, Lord Ymir will see you now.”</p><p>Wonderful. </p><p>I turned around to Thess and Yuri, “You’re welcome to hang out here while I’m in the meeting.”</p><p>Yuri finished his whiskey and got to his feet, “Thess, is this your first time aboard The Finalizer?” he asked. </p><p>She nodded, her wide yellowish eyes fixed on him, “Part… yes…”</p><p>“Let me give you the tour,” he said. </p><p>“Yah, okay…” she replied, taking the hand he offered. </p><p>“Thanks, Yuri,” I said, “I’ll see you in a little while.”</p><p>
  <b>II</b>
</p><p>I fought to keep my thoughts under control as we moved through the halls. </p><p>Whatever was about to happen would happen. At this point, there was nothing else I could do. </p><p>The officer led me to a room on the same floor as the bridge. </p><p>He opened a door to reveal a formal meeting space, decorated with one glossy black table. </p><p>Ymir sat at the far end, beautiful and composed, as always.  </p><p>“Madam Sininang,” the officer announced, before dismissing himself. </p><p>I stepped into the room and the door closed behind me. </p><p>“Take a seat,” Ymir said, gesturing at the chair to his right. </p><p>I strode around the table, cool and confident. </p><p>Ymir was dressed well. He wore his familiar utility clothes. He had a burgundy half-cloak draped around his wide shoulders. His hair was pulled back, iron and gray. His beard was neatly trimmed. </p><p>I thought about Ekene, hurting from the separation, drinking and unkempt at his home on Bengat. </p><p>“I received your report,” Ymir said, “That was bold, considering that I know you’ve been leaving out information.”</p><p>“That doesn’t change the results,” I said as I took my seat across from him, “I’ve secured the Hutts for you. We’re about to have the Smuggler’s Alliance obeying our orders.”</p><p>I was going to stick to my line. So what if Ymir didn’t like who I brought on to help? The work was getting done. I had nothing to do with Raj making Sawai - he and Snoke were toying with me, I didn’t ask for their attention. </p><p>Ymir considered me for some time, letting silence stretch between us. His hands were clasped neatly in his lap, his knees wide and relaxed. </p><p>“That’s correct,” he finally said, “Have you given any thought as to why you’re being called in for a disciplinary meeting, despite the fact that you’re producing the outcomes I want?”</p><p>I shrugged, “I didn’t ask Raj to make a ship for me. He did that all on his own.”</p><p>“That’s not even the first problem I want to talk to you about,” Ymir said dismissively.</p><p>I leaned back in the chair, arms crossed over my chest. </p><p>“You revealed your identity to a civilian,” Ymir growled, his eyes boring into me, “Then you tried to hide it from me.”</p><p>I had successfully hidden it from him. The only reason he knew was because I had told him - he was too proud to admit that part. </p><p>Ymir was in a bind. I had information that he didn’t have, and he wasn’t able to just reach into my thoughts like he could with everyone else. Threats or violence were the only options he had left. </p><p>I didn’t want it to come to that. </p><p>“Cartels are networks of people,” I explained, keeping my body relaxed, “You have to work your way up the ladder to make a deal. I pulled in someone I trusted to help me get to Boz.”</p><p>“You might trust ‘Viqui’, but I don’t even know her,” Ymir said. </p><p>He was revealing that he knew the false name, that I said ‘her’, in our last conversation. </p><p>Ymir wasn’t done talking, “You don’t have any qualms about keeping information from people, so my guess is that this woman is someone close to you. Which is why you want to hide her from me.”</p><p>I glowered at Ymir. </p><p>He stared back. His gaze was heavy. I could feel his awareness <i>tugging</i> at the edges of my aura. The attempt was fierce but useless, and I felt Ymir’s frustration. </p><p>“I gave her the information she needed,” I said, defending myself, “She doesn’t know why we’re making these deals with the Hutts. I told you, territory deals are standard practice.”</p><p>Ymir waited a beat before responding, “This conversation is useless. You’ve proven yourself to be a liar. I can’t believe anything you tell me.” </p><p>That stung. My temper was boiling. </p><p>“You’re benefiting from my lies!” I shouted, beating my fist on the table, “All these missions you’ve had me on - Otomok, making these deals with the Hutts and the Smuggler’s Alliance. It’s all lies! I don’t even use my real name within the First Order because you don’t want the Resistance to know you have me! All these lies serve you and your plans.”</p><p>“And it means that I can never trust you,” Ymir said. His eyes were dark, his voice was smooth and calm. </p><p>“You trusted me?” I sneered. </p><p>Immediately, I regretted my words. </p><p>Instead of showing me anger, Ymir gave me a long patient look, “Siobhan, have you stopped to consider that I’m not working against you?”</p><p>His words were like a slap. I sat stunned in my chair. </p><p>When I didn’t respond, he continued, “I’ve taken you in for training. I have given you the freedom to pursue your assignments, with almost no oversight. I’ve protected you from Snoke, and I’ve spared your life each time you’ve lashed out at me.”</p><p>It felt like the room was turning on its side. I was off-balance. </p><p>“You took away the person I loved most in this world,” I snarled, anger rising in my chest. </p><p>“And you know that I didn’t act against you, personally. Your father killed my wife, and that was his retribution.”</p><p>“Don’t try to fucking turn this around,” I growled. </p><p>Ymir was winning. I was emotional, on the defensive. </p><p>“Siobhan,” Ymir cautioned. </p><p>I drew back. </p><p>“You have presented me with two threats,” he said. His words were measured and careful, “You’ve revealed your identity and affiliation to a civilian who I know nothing about. I can’t see that as anything but a threat to our plans. Secondly, Rajendra and Snoke are coercing you into their plans to overthrow me. Because of your habitual lies, I’m not inclined to believe a word that you say in your defense.”</p><p>“So how do you want to handle this?” I said, my arms crossed, very aware of my lightsabers hanging within reach. </p><p>“The decision is up to you,” Ymir said, leaning towards me again, “I don’t think you realize that I’ve been on your side this entire time. I want you to consider the consequences of having me as an enemy.”</p><p>My mind was reeling. I sat in the rigid, metal conference room, feeling very alone. </p><p>Ymir’s eyes were fixed on me. A pang of fear jabbed at my heart. </p><p>He was manipulating me, forcing my hand. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t right. </p><p>“Snoke and Raj are toying with me,” I finally said, my back teeth clenched, “They haven’t made an offer yet. I blew Raj off when he tried to arrange a meeting, then Snoke swooped in afterwards. He said that he defended me, and basically ordered me to meet with Raj in exchange for his help.”</p><p>“Yes,” Ymir said, not bothering to hide his sneer, “He was unusually supportive of you.”</p><p>“I don’t like them, and I don’t trust them.”</p><p>“You don’t need to like or trust them to use them,” Ymir said. </p><p>“So where does that leave us?” I asked, my chin jutting forward. </p><p>“You’ve slowly eroded my trust the entire time I’ve worked with you, and now you’re in a very precarious position,” Ymir began, “I’m going to be looking into your girl-”</p><p>“Don’t threaten her…” My throat was tight. Despite my anger, my voice came out as a whisper, “Don’t you dare threaten her.”</p><p>“Or what, Siobhan?” Ymir growled, leaning towards me, “If you fought me, right now, do you think you could win?”</p><p>I froze - trapped. </p><p>There was a hard look in his eyes. Many silent moments passed. </p><p>I didn’t move. If I took any action against him, he would kill me. </p><p>The threatening cloud of anger rolled past. </p><p>“You’ll train with me at 0400 tomorrow,” Ymir said, precise and military now, “We’ll have a final conversation, then you’ll complete the deal with the Smuggler’s Alliance. You’re dismissed.”</p><p>I stood stiffly and left the room without another word. </p><p>I felt separate from my body, like I was moving underwater. </p><p>My rage was so consuming that I felt distanced from it. </p><p>I walked down the hall, past neat units of stormtroopers and officers, and took the elevator up to my floor. </p><p>Instead of going to my quarters, I walked to Ren’s meditation chamber. I locked both doors. </p><p>My hands shook. My body felt weak and overflowing with energy at the same time. </p><p>I finally understood Ren’s fits of rage. I wanted to take my lightsabers in hand. I wanted to destroy something. </p><p>I unclipped one of the hilts, activating the green blade. It hummed to life, powerful. I looked at it, like my arm and sword belonged to another person.</p><p>I could slash at the walls and ruin this space. Then I could go out into the hall. I could pick a fight with Ren’s Knights. Adram would be happy for the opportunity...</p><p>I didn’t move a muscle. My chest was tight as my breath heaved, my heart thundering. </p><p>I thumbed the dial, deactivating the lightsaber. </p><p>My anger had nowhere to go.</p><p>Suddenly, I threw the hilt at the wall, letting out a scream. My voice echoed in the space. </p><p>The hilt clattered against the metal, falling to the ground and rolling uselessly across the floor. </p><p>I dropped to my knees with my head bowed. My teeth and fists were clenched. </p><p>I sank into a clashing and distressed meditation. I gave myself over to the Darkside.</p><p>There was a feeling of closeness here that I had never experienced before. </p><p>Darkness lapped at my skin. I felt like I was putting my hand in the mouth of a great beast, trusting it not to bite me. </p><p>Trust. </p><p>The word was a wound. </p><p>I couldn’t trust Ymir - could I?</p><p>Ymir was trying to control me - because he couldn’t trust me. </p><p>The darkness surged and keened. I could feel the sounds in my bones. Wisps of movement ran across my hands and between my fingers. </p><p>Hate bubbled at the back of my mind as I remembered my cowardice. I hadn’t risen to the challenge of fighting Ymir. </p><p>He knew I wasn’t strong enough, and I had confirmed it. </p><p>Still, he acted like I was a threat to him. </p><p>I was weak, defeated by my own thoughts.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>I have so much fear…</p>
</blockquote><p>My voice was soft, a whisper - the beginning of a prayer.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Take it from me. Wash it away.</p>
</blockquote><p>The energy of the Darkside pulled at me like the ocean, vast and unknowable. </p><p>There were echoes, unbounded by time or space. I felt fragments of emotions and memories here. Experiences that weren’t my own. </p><p>I drifted in sensation. </p><p>My thoughts were jumbled. Ymir was my enemy, but he was my teacher. I respected him, and hated him. I wanted him to be proud of me, but I couldn’t stand him having that power over me. </p><p>I knelt on the floor until my knees ached and my calves and feet were numb. </p><p>The Darkside took my pain and heartbreak. </p><p>A thought rose in my mind. </p><p>What if I trusted Ymir? What if I gave up my plan to kill him?</p><p>It was seductive - the solution to all my troubles. </p><p>I could be his acolyte, his right hand. </p><p>Kylo Ren loved him, respected him, and was supported in turn. </p><p>What if I gave myself to Lord Ymir? He would be my teacher. We would conquer the Galaxy, start an Empire. </p><p>Surrender… It would be so easy. </p><p>The thought soothed my mind, a comfort. </p><p>But I felt my defiance rising in response. </p><p>Ymir had killed my father. He planned to subjugate the Galaxy, bending everyone to his will. </p><p>If I surrendered, that would mean he had broken me. </p><p>But if I surrendered I could have anything I wanted. Ahobri would be safe. I’d keep my power, my wealth. I could have the Galaxy…</p><p>I wallowed in my thoughts, letting them move through me and into the darkness wrapped around me.</p><p>
  <b>III</b>
</p><p>Eventually, I returned to the world. </p><p>I unfolded from my kneeling position, falling onto my ass with my legs splayed out in front of me. </p><p>I rubbed the numb muscles, taking extra care with my knees. They were aching and sore. </p><p>The meditation had left me with a strange kind of emptiness. I felt hollow, like I had been crying for hours without shedding a tear. I felt alone. </p><p>When I trusted my legs to support me, I retrieved my lightsaber from the ground, checking it for damage.</p><p>With stiff muscles, I left the meditation room and returned to my quarters. </p><p>I found Thess and Yuri in my sitting room. </p><p>The lights were dim. A game was on the holoprojector - the screen was large, the colors were vibrant, and the action didn’t stop. I could hear the roars of the crowd, the announcer’s voices excitedly describing the plays. </p><p>As soon as I entered the room, Yuri stood up, sudden and bashful, running a large hand over his closely cropped hair. </p><p>“Siobhan, I hope you don’t mind we’re here…” he began. </p><p>Thess lunged to turn the sound down. </p><p>I felt a welcome smile tugging at my mouth - genuine. </p><p>“You’re fine,” I said, waving a dismissive hand. </p><p>I noticed that the two of them were sitting on the same sofa now. </p><p>“What’s the game?” I asked, striding towards my bedroom. </p><p>“Grav-ball,” Thess answered, “Coruscant against Ganthel.”</p><p>“The Wampas versus the Rathtars,” Yuri added, excitement written across his face, “It’s a big rivalry, they only play each other once a year.” </p><p>“Keep watching,” I told them, “I’m going to change out of these robes.”</p><p>They turned the sound back up as I entered my bedroom. </p><p>I combed my hair out and changed into my spare set of training clothes - black leggings and a black undershirt. I pulled the outermost layer of robes back on, something warm to hold around myself. </p><p>I returned to the sitting room, taking a place at the end of the sofa, next to Thess. </p><p>Her and Yuri weren’t sitting near each other, but I had a feeling about the two of them. </p><p>On the screen, the moving camera had us right in the middle of the action, zipping between the players as they fought to capture a ball, moving almost too quickly to see. </p><p>Thess and Yuri were completely absorbed, eyes fixed on the screen, their bodies tense as they followed the game. </p><p>I quickly discovered that they were rooting for opposite teams. </p><p>Yuri was boyish in his excitement, pumping his fist and shouting when the Rathtars scored a point. </p><p>All of Thess’ earlier nervousness had vanished. She was talking trash in her native language. Yuri and I had no idea what she was saying, but I knew the sound of people cursing. </p><p>I let myself relax into the couch, enjoying the presence of two friends. I had spent enough time thinking, enough time worrying. </p><p>Sometime later, there was a buzz at the console. I rose to answer the door.</p><p>Thess moved to turn the sound lower, but I waved a hand to tell her it was fine. </p><p>Ren stood in my doorway, his mask and hood pulled up. </p><p>“What’s that?” he asked, looking into my sitting room. </p><p>“Thess and Yuri wanted to watch grav-ball,” I said with a playful smile. </p><p>“Yuri?...”</p><p>“Hey,” Yuri announced, raising a hand. </p><p>Ren tilted his masked face, not expecting this situation. </p><p>“Come on in,” I invited, “I think we’re in the third period.”</p><p>“I don’t…” Ren said. </p><p>“Watch the game with us,” Yuri encouraged from his seat. </p><p>Ren hesitated and I gave him a look. “I’m going back to the sofa,” I said, turning. </p><p>Ren followed me inside. </p><p>Yuri was on the far end of the couch. Thess scooted towards him to make room for me, and Ren took a place on the other end. </p><p>“Of course you’re watching grav-ball,” Ren muttered. The petty complaint was gravelly through the audio feed. </p><p>“It’s Coruscant versus Ganthel. It’s the biggest game of the season,” Yuri said, anticipating Ren’s disdainful attitude. </p><p>Ren rested an arm on the side of the sofa. His posture was stiff and uncomfortable. </p><p>“It looks like you made it out just fine,” Ren said, looking down at me, his face covered in layers of metal. </p><p>I looked over at him. I didn’t make a comeback or brush off his comment. I risked letting him see that I was hurting. </p><p>He looked away. </p><p>Yuri made a victorious shout, the announcers were excited. Yuri’s team had just scored. Thess was mumbling curses under her breath. </p><p>“My money’s on the underdog,” I said, giving Thess’ arm a friendly punch. </p><p>“How much money?” Yuri quipped with a wide grin. </p><p>The game rolled on. </p><p>After some time, Ren finally decided to take his mask off, setting it down on a side table. </p><p>I noticed Thess stealing glances his way. When Ren noticed what she was doing, he glared at her. </p><p>“Calm down,” I said, putting a hand on his forearm. </p><p>He looked away again. After that, Thess kept her eyes on the screen or towards Yuri. </p><p>Sitting in the dark room, sitting on a sofa with three other people, I was reminded of long nights in the barracks, when I was on long smuggling jobs, when I was with the Resistance. It felt like home, a group of crewmates all sitting together, doing something mundane to unwind at the end of the day.</p><p>I moved closer to Ren, curling up next to him, resting my head on his shoulder. </p><p>He didn’t expect me to be like this. </p><p>Slowly, he moved his arm around me. After a while, he began to idly twirl a lock of my hair around his gloved fingers. For once, I had left it loose instead of tied back in a braid. </p><p>In front of us, the game washed by, bright colors flashing, the crowd roaring, announcers ramping up the excitement. </p><p>Thess’ team lost. </p><p>Yuri celebrated his victory, offering a conciliatory hand to her. Thess grumbled and shook on it. </p><p>Afterwards, he stifled a yawn. “When’s training tomorrow?” he asked. </p><p>“0400,” I answered. </p><p>“Bright and early,” Yuri replied, turning up the lights before shutting down the holoprojector, “Well, I’m going to hit the sack.”</p><p>“Me too,” Thess said, stretching as she got to her feet. </p><p>“Did they give you a good room?” I asked, my head still resting against Ren’s shoulder.</p><p>“Yah,” she answered, daring to look my way, “Window.”</p><p>“Okay. We’re going to ship out after training, so be up by 0500,” I said. </p><p>Yuri was at the door. </p><p>Thess picked up the pace to leave with him. </p><p>I  wondered if they were going to separate rooms or the same room. </p><p>When the door closed, I turned to Ren, “What do you want to do?”</p><p>He had a hand on my chest, pushing me down onto the sofa. He kissed me greedily. </p><p>“I could not wait for that stupid game to be over,” he growled, his fingers running through my hair. </p><p>My laugh came out as a sigh. </p><p>I lay back as Ren brought his gloved hands underneath my shirt, grabbing at my breasts. He kissed my neck and chest, his thumbs circling the barbells. </p><p>I moaned and arched towards him. </p><p>He pushed my shirt up, teeth nipping at the sensitive skin. </p><p>I gasped, bringing my hand to the back of his head. </p><p>I was warm and wet. I needed this closeness. </p><p>“I want you to tie me up,” I said, panting as he moved a hand beneath the waistband of my leggings. </p><p>Ren growled in approval. His gloved fingertips circled my clit before pushing inside of me. </p><p>I groaned, my arms draped around his neck. </p><p>Ren pulled me up from the sofa. He put on his mask before we left my rooms. </p><p>He had his fingers interlaced with mine as we walked the handful of paces down to his quarters. My bare feet padded across the cold metal floors. </p><p>I knew that Ymir was somewhere on this block. Adram was here, but I hadn’t seen him yet. I imagined that they were together. </p><p>Inside his bedroom, Ren removed his mask, setting it down on top of the sheets. </p><p>He had his arm around my waist, kissing my fiercely, his tongue and teeth tracing a path down my neck. </p><p>Ren pushed my robes down my shoulders, then lifted my shirt off, sucking on my nipples. He tugged my pants down my legs. I laughed, hopping for balance as he pulled them over my ankles and feet. </p><p>“Lord Ymir was so angry at you,” Ren said, a gloved hand on my low belly, “I thought you might spend the night in the brig.”</p><p>“Me too,” I sighed. </p><p>He moved his hand down, pushing inside of me again. </p><p>“But here you are, like nothing happened,” Ren taunted. </p><p>“I don’t want to talk… ah!..about it,” I said as he curled his fingers. </p><p>Ren looked up at me, and he could see I meant it. He kissed my neck, lips pressing firmly against my skin. </p><p>I leaned against him. </p><p>Ren had me stand still while he took several neat coils of rope from the trunk at the end of his bed. </p><p>He began by tying a harness around my chest, my arms secured behind my back. </p><p>As he worked, I felt him <i>reaching</i> for me. I opened up a sliver of my awareness to him, conscious that Ymir might be able to feel it. </p><p>We moved into a place beyond words. Our communication was his hands on my body, the rope against into my skin, constraining me. Ren gave me directions through touch, applying soft pressure to let me know which way to turn and bend. </p><p>He was gentle and thorough, testing that the rope was secure without being painful. </p><p>I leaned against him and he supported me. I closed my eyes. </p><p>My thoughts softened until there was only a peaceful buzz in the back of my mind. </p><p>Surrender. </p><p>I could surrender…</p><p>The word meant more to me now. </p><p>What if I put away my thoughts of revenge? What if I served Ymir as his acolyte?</p><p>Ren continued his work with the rope. He focused on the patterns, the knots, the shapes he wanted to create.</p><p>This was more than sex. With my awareness open, responding to his touch, Ren was able to pull me into a deeper place. </p><p>I gave him my body and he moved me into the shapes and positions he wanted. In his hands, I was pliable, peaceful. He ran his gloved fingertips along my skin, over the places where the rope dug in. </p><p>“I’ve never felt you like this before,” he said, his voice rumbling in his chest. </p><p>I hummed a response. My eyes were closed, my head resting against his shoulder.</p><p>I allowed my mind to move into a space that was beyond words. All that existed were the sensations in my body. I was limp, half in a dream.</p><p>It was soothing. </p><p>I felt distant. I felt defeated. It was hollow - empty…</p><p>In defeat there was nothingness. </p><p>At one point, I was bound, curled in on myself. My temple rested against the cold metal floor. Ren had brushed my hair to the side. </p><p>He stroked me like a pet, from the back of my head along my spine. His expression was gentle and loving. </p><p>In this moment, the restraints felt like freedom. </p><p>When Ren was done he carefully released me, slowly working his gloved hands along my muscles. </p><p>He scooped me into his arms and poured me into his bed. </p><p>Ren left my side to coil his rope into neat bundles, putting everything back into the trunk. </p><p>I listened to the soft rustling sounds as he removed the layers of his robes. </p><p>When he returned to the bed he wore a loose tunic and pants. </p><p>“You were so good for me,” he murmured, his lips brushing against my shoulder. </p><p>I was curled inwards, my mind still adrift in a rare moment of peace. </p><p>Ren ran his bare hands over my skin. </p><p>We kissed, our bodies pressed close, until sleep claimed both of us. </p><p>
  <b>IV</b>
</p><p>We woke to the alarm from the console. </p><p>Ren moved smoothly out of bed. </p><p>I followed, a fresh wave of uncertainty gripping my heart. </p><p>Ren turned the lights on, opening a panel for his training clothes. </p><p>He looked my way as I moved towards my clothes, discarded on the floor.</p><p>“What was going on last night?” he asked, “You felt different. You’ve never felt like that before.”</p><p>I had my undershirt in my hands. </p><p>“I dunno,” I shrugged, not wanting to talk to Ren about it, “This last mission was really exhausting.”</p><p>Ymir said that we would be training together today, and I had no idea what I was going to tell him.</p><p>Ren was changing shirts. He turned back around to me, “So you’re leaving after training is over?”</p><p>“That’s the plan,” I said, pulling my leggings up. </p><p>I needed to get my boots and lightsabers from my room. </p><p>“Ymir was livid,” Ren continued, changing his shirt. “And, it looks like all you got was a stern talking-to,” he sneered.</p><p>I could hear his bitterness, thinking that I had gotten off easy, again. </p><p>“I said I don’t want to fucking talk about it,” I snapped, giving him a fierce look. </p><p>Ymir’s words echoed in my mind - ‘I want you to consider the consequences of having me as an enemy.’</p><p>“He lets you get away with everything,” Ren said, pushing back. </p><p>All of our peace from the night before had evaporated. </p><p>“Rajendra is not a true ally of the First Order,” Ren continued, “He’s working against Lord Ymir, and he’s trying to use you against him.”</p><p>“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I sneered, pulling my pants up. </p><p>“And you just get to go back to your assignment, negotiating with your fellow criminals…”</p><p>“What the fuck is your problem?!” I demanded, wrapping the top layer of my robes around me. </p><p>“You always have to get what you want,” Ren shouted, pointing a finger at me, “And your actions could ruin our plans - everything Ymir and I have been built!”</p><p>“My entire life revolves around these plans!” I yelled in return, matching his anger, “Everything that I’m doing is to fulfill the goals of the First Order.”</p><p>My heart was pounding in my chest. It felt good to be angry. The emotion bloomed in my mind, leaving no room for doubt or uncertainty. </p><p>“I left myself open to you,” I continued, pointing back at Ren, “Did you feel any disloyalty in my heart?”</p><p>Ren halted, “...No.”</p><p>“Then stop fucking doubting me!” </p><p>Ren had every reason to doubt me. </p><p>Angrily, I turned on my heel, swirling out of the room before he could figure out a response. </p><p>My thoughts chased me. </p><p>I remembered sitting in Sawai’s cockpit, telling Thess with drunken determination that I planned to kill Ymir. </p><p>When Ymir presented that as an option, when he said he could become my enemy, I had backed down, already defeated in my mind. </p><p>I didn’t know what would happen during our training.</p><p>***</p><p>In the hall Ren’s Knights were milling around, waiting to head to the training room together. </p><p>They wore their masks, and some combination of training clothes and their usual outfits. I couldn’t tell them apart. One of them raised his arm in greeting. </p><p>I assumed that was Yuri. I looked his way before continuing onto my quarters. </p><p>I quickly pulled on my boots, only bothering to lace them halfway. I secured my lightsabers around my waist, then returned to the hall. </p><p>When I left my quarters, I found Ren and his three Knights gathered around the elevator. I joined them. </p><p>“Thanks for letting us camp out in your room yesterday,” Yuri said, his face covered by a mask. </p><p>I made a point to memorize the boxy shape, the chrome lines where his mask protruded to cover his mouth and chin. </p><p>“No problem,” I replied, “I just found out that Thess likes sports a couple of days ago.”</p><p>“Kav and Ghent are the only ones I can talk into watching grav-ball,” he said. </p><p>Everyone else was silent on the elevator ride. </p><p>I looked over at the one I thought was Adram. His faceplate was made entirely of chrome. He sat still under my gaze. </p><p>When we arrived at the training room, Ren and his Knights immediately began their warm-up exercises. I took a spot next to Yuri. </p><p>Ymir came in at exactly 0400. </p><p>All the attention in the room went to him. </p><p>This morning, his hair was loose around his shoulders. His outfit was plain - a jacket over a white shirt, the hem of his utility pants tucked into his boots. </p><p>Most of our practice was sparring.</p><p>All of us had physical weapons.</p><p>Ren started off the match, sparring with Adram. Ren had a blunt, heavy broadsword in hand. It clanked heavily against Adram’s pike. </p><p>Ymir gave guidance to Adram and Ren, making corrections on stance and strategy. </p><p>I could feel the hazy awareness of Yuri and Gallo, following the action, trying to keep a step ahead. </p><p>Ymir paired me with Gallo next.</p><p>I had chosen a pair of short metal staves to replace my twin lightsabers. Gallo had his two scimitars. </p><p>I wasn’t used to fighting an opponent who also used two weapons. It made me concentrate. I dropped into the Force. </p><p>Gallo and the other men were <i>reaching</i> for me, but with my aura cloaked there was nothing for them to grab onto. </p><p>The Darkside felt close again, wrapped around my heart. </p><p>It gnawed at the uncertainty in my mind, my thoughts of defeat and surrender. </p><p>Ymir was watching me, studying my movements. </p><p>Gallo didn’t expect my speed or focus. I was aggressive and I battered at him, our weapons clanging against one another. He wasn’t going to give me an opening, so I would make one. </p><p>I pushed forward, swinging towards his legs instead of his torso, throwing him off balance. </p><p>When I won the match, Ymir paired me with Yuri - my twin staves against his enormous cleaver-shaped blade. </p><p>Yuri was an incredibly difficult opponent. </p><p>The last time we had sparred, the wound on my right shoulder was still healing. Now that I was in good shape, Yuri didn’t hold back. </p><p>He was fast, alternating between using his weapon to attack and defend. There were three slots in the weapon where he could take hold, using it as a long shield.</p><p>Yuri noticed that I had gone after Gallo’s legs, so he kept his wide blade low as cover, sweeping the thing out towards me so I couldn’t get close. </p><p>A grin was ripping at my face. </p><p>Ymir was heaping all of his praise and guidance onto Yuri, not giving me any encouragement or support in the fight. </p><p>I wasn’t going to be bested. My pride wouldn’t allow it. </p><p>The match went on for a long while - both of us were determined. </p><p>Yuri was putting all of his effort in, enjoying this challenge just as much as I was. </p><p>I couldn’t see any clear path through Yuri’s defenses, and despite wielding such a large weapon he didn’t seem to be getting tired. </p><p>I tried a very risky move.</p><p>I waited for a moment when his hands were in the outer slots, leaving the center slot clear. </p><p>As he moved into a defensive position, I threw one of my staves at his head - as he dodged, I lunged forward, driving my second stave through the central slot in his weapon. </p><p>Yuri instinctively leaned backward to avoid the point of my weapon. </p><p>With a fluid motion I gripped the stave with both hands and ducked low, turning my back on him and pulling the stave over my shoulder for leverage. With a guttural cry of effort, I yanked the weapon out of his hands.</p><p>It went clattering to the ground, echoing loudly in the training room. </p><p>Yuri stumbled backwards as he lost his grip, but caught himself. He lifted his mask off, running a gloved hand across his sweaty stubble. He was red-faced and grinning.</p><p>I was heaving for breath, sweat pouring down my temples. </p><p>Ymir crossed his arms with approval. </p><p>***</p><p>After our sparring practice Ymir had Ren guide his Knights through a meditation. </p><p>“Siobhan, come with me,” he ordered, motioning for me to follow him out of the training room. </p><p>I walked with him, my heart clamoring in my chest. </p><p>I kept my connection with the Darkside open. </p><p>Ymir didn’t say a word to me as we strode through the halls. We passed officers, stormtroopers, and droids, all flowing through their military routines. </p><p>When we entered the elevator, the silence was heavy. It felt like something I could reach out and touch. </p><p>I had woken up with defeat in my heart, my thoughts circling around what it would mean to surrender. </p><p>The sparring match was my meditation. It had left my mind clear and focused. I didn’t have a prepared speech for Ymir, but I finally knew what I would say. </p><p>We exited on our floor. </p><p>Ymir opened the door to Ren’s meditation chamber, motioning for me to enter the room first. </p><p>“Kneel, on the floor,” he ordered, striding in after me. </p><p>I made eye contact with him as I sank down, one knee at a time. I rested on my heels, my hands on my thighs, lightsabers on my belt. </p><p>Ymir took a seat across from me in the same stance. We were close, our knees just a few handspans apart. </p><p>“Have you thought about what I said yesterday?” Ymir asked. </p><p>“I have,” I answered, putting in effort to keep my back straight, my shoulder blades together. </p><p>Last night I had practiced surrender, practiced defeat. </p><p>I had held fear close to my heart, and I was ready to let it go.  </p><p>“Then I want you to state your intentions,” Ymir said, his gaze was level and focused, “I’m not inclined to believe your words, but I’d like to hear them anyways.”</p><p>It was tempting to smirk, but I held off. </p><p>“I don’t want you as my enemy,” I began. In the moment, my heart was calm. </p><p>Ymir watched me carefully. </p><p>“I spent ten years searching the Galaxy for you,” I said, taking a breath, “I gave up my fellow soldiers in the Resistance. I’ve given up everything to be with you.”</p><p>I noticed the way Ymir’s jaw tightened, the smallest response to my words. </p><p>“I don’t want you as my enemy,” I repeated, “But I can never be the soldier you want me to be.”</p><p>Despite himself, Ymir’s mouth made a wry twist. There was light in his eyes. </p><p>“I need complete autonomy for these missions,” I announced. I had almost no leverage and nothing substantial to bargain with. “You want me to work as an undercover agent. You want me to conduct extra-military operations. Operations that no one else in the First Order can accomplish. I need to do things my way.”</p><p>“That seems to be our sticking point,” Ymir replied, his lips pursed, “You always do things your way.”</p><p>“And I’ve never failed an assignment,” I said, pushing. </p><p>It was time to play my only card, “I won’t meet with Raj. I’ll turn him down. I’ll turn Snoke down. I know they’re not on our side.”</p><p>I was building a crew of my own. When it was time to kill Ymir, I would have the help I needed without relying on those two men.</p><p>Ymir shook his head, slow and calm, “I want you to accept their offer.”</p><p>“What?” My brows drew together in confusion. </p><p>“Go with them. Accept their offer, whether you’re being sincere or not,” Ymir said, his expression open. </p><p>“That’s what you want?”</p><p>“It keeps them close, and lets them think things are going their way,” Ymir replied, aloof and unconcerned. </p><p>“Uh, okay,” I responded, caught off-guard again. </p><p>“So let me hear the rest of your speech,” Ymir said, with an edge of sarcasm in his voice, “You are feeling too constrained in your duties?”</p><p>I puffed myself up again, “If you want this assignment to be successful in the long-term, I need a crew. I need a house. It has to be separate from the First Order.”</p><p>“Go right ahead,” he replied, “You were going to do it anyways, permission or not.”</p><p>“And I’m going to ask Ekene for help,” I continued, doggedly. </p><p>“That’s your business,” Ymir snapped, anger flaring, his jaw jutting forward.</p><p>We sat apart from each other, the air crackling with tension. </p><p>Ymir spoke, “I sensed your energy last night. I felt your doubt.”</p><p>I sat still, putting together my thoughts before I responded. </p><p>“You’re my teacher,” I finally said, “When I last talked with Ekene… he said that he was always surprised by my trust in you-”</p><p>Ymir made a bitter kind of snort. </p><p>“And I had never thought of it that way, until he said it,” I continued, “I’m loyal to you. I trust you as my teacher - as your student.”</p><p>Ymir reached out a large calloused hand to cradle the left side of my face. His thumb ran down the scar he had made. </p><p>Goosebumps rolled down my shoulders. The hair on my arms and legs stood up. </p><p>He felt it. </p><p>“Siobhan…” he said slowly. </p><p>I sighed, leaning against his hand. I closed my eyes. </p><p>Surrender…</p><p>“If you would just let go, you could have anything you wanted,” Ymir said, his voice was low. </p><p>My body was responding, heat between my legs. I wanted to melt, to give way. </p><p>“I want you to have everything,” he continued, “This need for revenge doesn’t serve you. It only holds you back.”</p><p>My heart ached in my chest. I fluttered open my eyes. </p><p>Ymir was gazing at me, kind and warm. </p><p>I shook my head, drawing back, even as I longed for his touch. “I… I can’t…”</p><p>Ymir brought his hand to his lap. He gazed at me, and I saw his disappointment, blending into respect. </p><p>I refused to be broken. I refused to be defeated. </p><p>“Defiance can only get you so far,” he cautioned, “You have to learn to be more sophisticated.”</p><p>I remembered that moment in my home, with his hand beneath my chin, staring into my eyes - ‘Hold onto your hate girl, and we’ll meet again.’</p><p>“It’s what kept me alive all these years,” I said, rising to my feet. </p><p>Ymir stayed seated, looking up at me. He understood what I meant. </p><p>“Feelings evolve,” he said, “Nothing stays the same forever.”</p><p>He rose to his feet, reaching for me. I allowed him to take a hold of my upper arm, drawing me towards him. </p><p>“I’ve always wanted you to be my student, when I saw how you refused to submit to your fear.”</p><p>I was crying, silent tears falling from my eyes. </p><p>“Take stock of what you actually want,” Ymir said, his arms around me as we stood in the dim metal room, “You can stay that angry, feral child, or you can become someone truly powerful.”</p><p>I didn’t trust myself to speak. </p><p>I took a step back. Ymir didn’t try to hold onto me. </p><p>We gazed at each other. Ymir felt peaceful and open. I gave myself a moment to appreciate his iron gray hair around his shoulders, the touches of white around his mouth and temples, the warmth in his brown eyes. </p><p>I opened myself for an instant, sharing the conflict in my heart, my desire to surrender to him and the equally strong desire to kill him. </p><p>He closed his eyes, <i>reaching</i> out to me.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>It doesn’t always have to be like this. I don’t want to be your enemy.</p>
  <p>The decision is yours. </p>
</blockquote><p>I turned and left the room without a word, brushing the tears from my cheeks. </p><p>I strode to my quarters quickly, not wanting Ren or his Knights to see me like this. </p><p>***</p><p>Thankfully, my rooms were empty. </p><p>I shoved my clothes into my kit bag, roughly zipping it up, then I called for Thess on the console. </p><p>She was already aboard Sawai. </p><p>I made my way to Hangar One, my boots landing firm against the metal floors, my kit bag slung over my shoulder. </p><p>I entered my ship, heading straight to the cockpit. </p><p>Thess was in the captain’s chair. </p><p>“Let’s go,” I said, dropping my kit bag on the floor, taking the copilot’s seat, “We’re headed to Artrix.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Things have been grim recently. It was nice to have a little fluff in this chapter to break up all the angst. </p><p>Next chapter is the meeting with the Smuggler’s Alliance! </p><p>As always, thanks so much for reading! I love to hear from y’all in the comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. The Smuggler's Alliance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Siobhan is about to complete her biggest assignment for the First Order. </p>
<p>She has her crew assembled. She's planning to set up her own house, to be able to operate independently, but she's not out of the woods yet. </p>
<p>Siobhan has many challenges to overcome. The biggest is deciding whether to follow through on her plan for revenge.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>I</b>
</p>
<p>The next twelve hours in hyperspace were a special kind of torture. </p>
<p>My mind was unsettled, churning over my experience on The Finalizer. </p>
<p>I spent my time alone in my room, keeping myself company with a bottle of wine and my thoughts. </p>
<p>Ymir had given me a way out. I could give up my plan for revenge. </p>
<p>I could surrender. </p>
<p>All of my problems would evaporate. </p>
<p>I just needed to get in line. </p>
<p>I paced between the rooms of the captain’s quarters, moving in a useless circuit between the stateroom, office, and bedroom.</p>
<p>Ymir wanted me to go along with Raj and Snoke. I would accept their offer, whatever it was, and report back to Ymir. </p>
<p>Both sides were forcing my hand, giving me no other options. </p>
<p>Giving up my plans for revenge was the easiest path. </p>
<p>For a decade I had held onto the idea of avenging my father, but every step I took, every choice I made, went against his legacy. </p>
<p>I was a criminal, acting as an agent for the First Order, serving alongside Lord Ymir. </p>
<p>On Korriban, I had been taunted with the memory of my father, how I had failed him, and I had let that story go. </p>
<p>Then who was I avenging?</p>
<p>I sat on the edge of my bed, elbows planted on my thighs. The bottle of wine was empty at my feet.</p>
<p>My goal, once so simple and clear, had become more complicated and murky. </p>
<p>Ymir had challenged me, and I shrank from him. I knew I wasn’t strong enough to win a fight against him. </p>
<p>Then why continue?</p>
<p>After hours of thinking and pacing, I pulled off my clothes and dropped into the wide bed. I began to drift. </p>
<p>I remembered the pained chorus of Kyber crystals on Starkiller Base. They were being torn from the earth, repurposed into a weapon. Their cries echoed in my mind. </p>
<p>In five years time the planet would be transformed into a machine that would bring the New Republic to its knees. Billions of people would die.</p>
<p>The planet’s kyber crystals were in agony. The First Order would drain the life of that ‘system’s sun. </p>
<p>It was all destruction. </p>
<p>Only death lay ahead. </p>
<p>And I could be above it, serving as the right hand of the most powerful man in the Galaxy. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I woke to Thess broadcasting the hyperspace alert. We would be arriving at Artrix in half an hour. </p>
<p>I wandered down to the kitchen, fixed a mug of caffeine, and headed up to the cockpit. </p>
<p>Thess turned to me as I entered. </p>
<p>“Hey, long time,” she said, flashing a smile. </p>
<p>“Keep yourself entertained?” I asked, dropping into the copilot’s seat. </p>
<p>Thess shrugged, “Sleep. Play games.”</p>
<p>“Take some time to yourself once we get back to Artrix,” I said, leaning back in the chair, “I don’t need you for anything until we ship out again.”</p>
<p>I was grateful to have another person with me for these long jaunts into the Unknown Regions. I had been on The Finalizer for less than a day, the travel each way took longer than the meeting.</p>
<p>A fucking waste. </p>
<p>Now Ahobri and I would only have a day to prepare for our meeting with the Smuggler’s Alliance. We had to get to work right away.</p>
<p>I sighed to myself, my skull resting heavily against the chair. </p>
<p>Thess and I lapsed into comfortable silence. I willed my thoughts away from Ymir, Ren, and Raj. There was nothing else I could do about my situation with them. </p>
<p>“So, what did you think about Yuri?” I asked, looking over at Thess.</p>
<p>“He’s... nice, yah,” she replied, not expecting my question.</p>
<p>I gave her a conspiratory smile, “It looked like he took a shine to you,” I said, “Anything happen?”</p>
<p>Thess tensed up, color rising in her cheeks, “No!” she said quickly, “Why you think…?”</p>
<p>“Okay, okay,” I said, backing off, “He just seemed real friendly towards you, that’s all.”</p>
<p>Thess’s expression drew in, serious and focused, “We talk… he ask about me,” she frowned and paused. </p>
<p>I kept my mouth shut. </p>
<p>“What you think Yuri?” she asked, suddenly, making eye contact. </p>
<p>“What do I think about him?” I said. </p>
<p>Thess nodded. </p>
<p>“He’s the only one of Ren’s Knights that I actually like,” I said, “He seems like a real nice guy.”</p>
<p>And those were in short supply. </p>
<p>Thess made a serious nod, “Like I say, nice,” she said, “Maybe I talk him again, yah?”</p>
<p>I gave her a smile. I wanted to see Yuri again too, the only problem was that I planned to keep my distance from The Finalizer. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>It was a relief to be back on Artrix. </p>
<p>Thess and I arrived in the early morning. The traffic was light heading planet-side and we zipped smoothly down to a different garage in Mid-town, I didn’t want people to recognize me or my ship. </p>
<p>As we walked the streets, the sky was a hazy dark blue as night became dawn. There was still a chill in the morning air. </p>
<p>On the way to the apartment, I talked to Thess about the city - places that she could go exploring while Ahobri and I worked. </p>
<p>I made a stop at a food stall to get breakfast for our crew, tucking the box of food under my arm. </p>
<p>I kept on the lookout for any Uhdea people that might be watching, but I didn’t see anything suspicious.</p>
<p>When we arrived at the apartment, Koval had the morning shift. </p>
<p>“Welcome back,” he greeted, as we dropped our bags and stepped out of our shoes. </p>
<p>“I got us breakfast,” I said, setting the box down on the table. The surface was littered with wrappers, bottles, and ash. </p>
<p>“Thanks,” Koval said. </p>
<p>Thess opened a container of fried starch and vegetables. Koval got up from the sofa to dig around for what he wanted. </p>
<p>“Save one of the sandwiches for Ahobri,” I said, “I got her favorite.”</p>
<p>I picked up my kit bag and headed to her bedroom. She was rolled up in the sheets, sleeping peacefully. </p>
<p>I dropped the outer layers of my clothes and climbed into bed, curling up around her. </p>
<p>She shifted in bed, mumbling, scooting against me as I kissed her cheek and rested my arm along the curve of her waist. </p>
<p>Ymir would find out who she was eventually, it was just a matter of time. </p>
<p>If I gave up my plans for revenge, I could keep Ahobri safe. Ymir would have no reason to go after her. </p>
<p>Yuri’s story about his last mission sprang to mind. He had spent weeks in Ado defeating groups of armed citizens. </p>
<p>I had done my share of killing civilians. The memory of Otomok still stung - I never wanted to do anything like that again. If I became Ymir’s obedient acolyte, I would have to do more missions like that, fighting people weaker than me. </p>
<p>I pushed those thoughts from my mind. </p>
<p>I was in bed with Ahobri. Things were safe and peaceful. I needed to enjoy it while it lasted. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>We dozed as sunlight filled the room. </p>
<p>As Ahobri woke up, she shifted and turned to me in bed. </p>
<p>She had her hand on my cheek, her nose pressed to mine. “How was the trip?” she murmured, eyes barely open. </p>
<p>“One big waste of time,” I said.</p>
<p>“I missed you,” she said, giving me a kiss. </p>
<p>Her lips pressed sweetly to mine, but her morning breath was sour and stale. </p>
<p>I kissed her back anyways, appreciating her touch. </p>
<p>I ran my hands over her green skin, the curves of her waist, belly, and thighs. </p>
<p>Ahobri was getting warm, her hips lazily rolling towards me. </p>
<p>I worked her up slowly, squeezing her breasts, my lips gentle against her neck, softly nipping at an earlobe. </p>
<p>When Ahobri began to moan, I moved underneath the covers, kissing my way along her thighs. </p>
<p>I explored her with my tongue and fingers until she was crying out, gasping in pleasure, grabbing at the sheets as her hips bucked towards my tongue. </p>
<p>It was a different kind of surrender. </p>
<p>I wanted to give Ahobri the world, everything she thought she’d never have. </p>
<p>When Ahobri had enough of my tongue, she drew me upwards, moving her hand between my legs. </p>
<p>My body felt raw and open. My cries were sharp and urgent as her fingertips circled my clit. </p>
<p>Ahobri moved until she was on top of me, fingers curling inside, sucking on my nipples. </p>
<p>My thoughts turned to Ymir, the feeling of his large hand cradling my face. </p>
<p>I wrenched myself away from that fantasy, opening my eyes. </p>
<p>Ahobri was lapping at my clit, her hand moving in a rhythm she knew would send me over the edge. </p>
<p>There was a familiar tremble in my legs before I spasmed around her hand and tongue, calling out her name. </p>
<p>She gave me time to come down, as I panted gratefully. </p>
<p>We held each other for several minutes appreciating the togetherness, pressed skin to skin. </p>
<p>“I love you,” I whispered, kissing her forehead. </p>
<p>“I love you too,” she echoed. </p>
<p>
  <b>II</b>
</p>
<p>There was a lot of work to do.</p>
<p>Ahobri and I emerged from the bedroom for food and caffeine. </p>
<p>Thess and Koval had left on errands and exploring. </p>
<p>Dreks was planted in front of the holoprojector, taking slow pulls from his water pipe. </p>
<p>I made a trip out to Rosie to check my comms. There was radio silence, no new messages from anyone. </p>
<p>Briefly, I considered reaching out to Raj, then decided against it. He would reach out, eventually. I should take events one at a time. It wasn’t like Snoke or Raj were going to forget about me. </p>
<p>Ahobri and I did our planning from her bedroom, keeping her door closed so no one could eavesdrop. </p>
<p>“We never talked about the meeting with Sul,” Ahobri began. </p>
<p>I was in a chair with my tablet on my knee. Ahobri was in bed, propped up on pillows, a cream-colored robe pulled around her. </p>
<p>“Yeah, what did you think about his offer?” I asked. </p>
<p>Sul had tried to get information about Boz under the table. I had deflected his question, not sure if Boz and Sul were testing me. </p>
<p>“I’ve been thinking about it the past few days,” Ahobri said, pressing a knuckle against her lip, “I think he’s serious.”</p>
<p>“That was my impression too,” I said, “I think he wants a leg up on Boz, so to speak.”</p>
<p>“But I don’t think it benefits us to give him anything,” Ahobri said. </p>
<p>I shrugged, “It would mean more money.”</p>
<p>“Not if we burn a bridge with the Uhdeas,” Ahobri warned, “Boz will go absolutely berserk if he finds out we’re undermining him.”</p>
<p>“That’s true,” I sighed, resting my feet up on the edge of the bed, “This is why I want a house. I think we could make it work… like having liaisons that visit us instead. We’d be able to make side deals more easily.”</p>
<p>Ahobri was giving me a very skeptical look. </p>
<p>“All I’m saying, is that there’s a possibility,” I replied, “I don’t want to turn Boz against us, so I’m not going to do anything for now.”</p>
<p>“Good,” Ahobri said, primly, “I called Boz to thank him for the introduction. I made him feel very appreciated.”</p>
<p>“Thanks for doing that,” I said with a grin. </p>
<p>It’s what he expected to see from us, and I was glad not to have to grovel in front of another Hutt. </p>
<p>“I talked with Ekene a few days ago,” I added, “I told him we’d go visit him after this deal with the Smuggler’s Alliance.”</p>
<p>“He called me yesterday,” Ahobri said, looking very pleased with herself, “He said he was looking forward to seeing me again.”</p>
<p>“I know he is,” I replied, “I’m going to ask for his help finding a house. I think he’d know how to get it set up anonymously, and he can help with hiring a security team and all that stuff.”</p>
<p>Ahobri sighed, shaking her head, “Are you sure he’s going to want to do all that?”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah,” I replied, “He’s just sitting around drinking his troubles away. I think he’ll really appreciate a project to work on. I just need to sell it right.”</p>
<p>“Okay, but that’s all on you,” Ahobri said. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>We turned our attention to finishing our proposal for the Smuggler’s Alliance. </p>
<p>As it stood, Arjun and Tynne had both made deals with me, adjusting their territory in exchange for the intelligence and money I offered. </p>
<p>That was two out of five. </p>
<p>“Let’s go over the most likely problems,” I said. </p>
<p>We had our tablets out, looking through maps and scanning through First Order intelligence reports on the Smuggler’s Alliance. </p>
<p>Ahobri glanced up. </p>
<p>“To start, the ‘Alliance is looking for trouble,” I began, “Tynne knows me as a drunk and a traitor, so he’s going to give me a hard time-”</p>
<p>“I remember that,” Ahobri said. </p>
<p>“Yeah, there’s also Matthias who likes to think he’s smarter than everyone else,” I grumbled, “The worst part is that the ‘Alliance is cozy with the Resistance, and they’ve had plenty of time to look into me.”</p>
<p>Ahobri’s brows drew in with concern, “What do you think they’d be able to find?” I could see her thinking through possibilities. </p>
<p>“Well, the worst-case scenario is that they’ve talked to the Resistance, told them I’m alive, and figured out I’m working for the First Order.” Vin had managed to put the pieces together - others could, too. “In that case, we’d be walking into a trap.”</p>
<p>“Siobhan, don’t say things like that,” Ahobri cautioned, bristling with nerves. </p>
<p>“I’d be able to sense it,” I told her. “I just want to be realistic. They are sniffing for any trouble I could bring down on them, and they’ve had weeks to look into it.”</p>
<p>“So what will you do if it’s a trap?” Ahobri asked, eyes boring into me. </p>
<p>“Nothing’s going to happen to you,” I assured her, “If they know I’m part of the First Order, then there’s no reason for me to hold back. It’s not going to be a challenge to fight my way through a group of smugglers.”</p>
<p>I had faced so much worse. </p>
<p>“Fuck, Siobhan!” Ahobri scowled, starting to get worked up and angry, “You can’t just casually bring this up the day before!”</p>
<p>I climbed out of my chair, leaving the tablet behind, crawling into bed with her. </p>
<p>“Nothing’s going to happen to you,” I assured her, taking her hand, staring into her dark brown eyes, “I don’t expect any kind of fighting, but I want you to be prepared if it does.”</p>
<p>As much as I wanted the deal to go through, the idea of a fight was exciting to me, especially a fight where I could use my full strength. </p>
<p>I tried to imagine how Tynne or Channa would react to seeing my lightsabers. </p>
<p>This wasn’t the time to be reckless. I was so close to finishing the assignment and I wasn’t going to put Ahobri in danger…</p>
<p>She accepted my promises to keep her safe and we moved on to the practicalities. </p>
<p>We’d be taking Rosie out to the meeting - it fit what people knew about me. The Sawai was too flashy. </p>
<p>Next, we had to decide on how much money we would offer the Smuggler’s Alliance. Tynne and Arjun already had deals with me, which complicated things. </p>
<p>As I looked over each leader’s territory, I found that Eldo, one that I had never met, would be almost entirely pushed out of his space. It would make sense to pay him more. But I’d be making a proposal to the group. </p>
<p>Ahobri and I talked through our options. We had maps pulled up comparing how my deal would affect each of the five crews. </p>
<p>Then we needed to decide on what intelligence we’d give them. It was important to make it look like I was representing a corporation. I also didn’t want to put their crews into competition with each other. </p>
<p>It was tedious and exhausting work. The sun moved across the sky. The city buzzed just outside our window. </p>
<p>We eventually took the holoprojector from the living room to display reports while we made notes on the map.</p>
<p>Thess and Dreks complained about having their games interrupted. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>By the end of the planning session, a headache had settled heavily around my skull. I was ready to fall asleep in my chair. </p>
<p>Ahobri opened her little case of drugs and took out a baggie of Blue. After taking a couple small bumps she went to the kitchen for wine. </p>
<p>“You’ve been moody all day,” Ahobri said, handing me a glass. </p>
<p>“I’m just tired,” I replied, taking a grateful sip, “I spent twenty four hours in hyperspace, just for two fucking meetings.”</p>
<p>“Baanthashit,” Ahobri said, lips pressed together, eyebrow arching, “I hate it when you lie to me. I feel like you’ve been lying ever since you resurfaced.”</p>
<p>I grimaced, taking a deep drink so I wouldn’t have to respond right away. </p>
<p>Ahobri sat across from me on the bed, waiting. </p>
<p>“Look, there are some things I just can’t talk to you about, alright?” I said, “I’m telling you what I can, it’s either that or not tell you anything.”</p>
<p>“You’re upset about something,” Ahobri said, pressing the issue, “I want to help you, but you keep lying and deflecting and it’s driving me fucking crazy.”</p>
<p>“You’re not the first person to tell me that this week,” I scowled, looking to the side. </p>
<p>“Was the other Ekene?” Ahobri asked, crossing her arms over her chest. </p>
<p>I shook my head, “Ymir and I are having a disagreement, and I really don’t want to talk about it.”</p>
<p>Ahobri opened her mouth, then pause. She took my hand, a sympathetic look in her eye, “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”</p>
<p>What would I tell her? That I was getting her into a situation far more dangerous than a firefight with the Smuggler’s Alliance? That Snoke and Ymir wanted me to meet with Raj to help cause a coup? </p>
<p>That I was thinking about giving up?</p>
<p>“I’m sure,” I answered, squeezing her hand, “I’m going to have to work through this on my own.”</p>
<p>Even as I drew people towards me, I still found myself alone. </p>
<p>We had another glass of wine, moving onto easier conversation. </p>
<p>Outside, the sun was setting. </p>
<p>“Troye’s been wanting to see us,” Ahobri said as she finished her glass, “I think he’s just meeting with clients and not doing floorwork. He might be off tonight.”</p>
<p>“If he’s free, we should bring Thess along and show her a good time,” I said, “I think she hit it off with one of Ren’s Knights on this last trip.”</p>
<p>“Really?” Ahobri said, leaning forward, eager for gossip about our mousey little pilot, “What happened?”</p>
<p>“There’s this one Knight, Yuri, he’s the only one of them that I like… he’s just, a real solid person, y’know?” I said, “Well he stops by my quarters to say hello, and then offers to give Thess a tour of the ship while I’m in my meeting. When I get back to my room they’re both on the sofa watching grav-ball together. They left at the same time, but Thess said that nothing happened. I don’t think she realized he was interested.”</p>
<p>“That girl is so fucking precious,” Ahobri said with a smile, “So the guy, Yuri, he’s not a creep?”</p>
<p>“Nah. I like him a lot. I hope we get to do an assignment together sometime.”</p>
<p>After another glass of wine, we called Troye to see if he wanted to meet up. </p>
<p>He answered us right away. He was at his mirror, starting to put on make-up. </p>
<p>“Troye, we want to drink with you, are you working tonight?” I greeted. Ahobri and I leaned together in front of the screen. </p>
<p>“Girls, I cannot tell you how much I’ve missed you. Ahobri, this place just isn’t the same without you,” Troye said, applying a glossy shade of magenta to his lips. </p>
<p>“Thanks, sweetie,” Ahobri said. </p>
<p>“I already took care of my clients, so I have money to burn. Let’s go out,” he said, as he finished with the lipstick.</p>
<p>“Let me know where you want to meet. My treat tonight,” I told him.</p>
<p>He made an excited gasp, “Siobhan, if you’re paying, lets go to Necto.”</p>
<p>I laughed, “I forgot that you’re an expensive date.”</p>
<p>“Of course I am,” he said, dramatically smacking his lips. </p>
<p>“We still need to get ready and take care of a couple of things,” I said, “Want to meet us there in a couple of hours?”</p>
<p>“I can’t wait to see you,” Troye said, and closed the line. </p>
<p>When we emerged from our room, we found Thess playing cards with Dreks and Koval. </p>
<p>“We’re going to go pick up a few things from Sawai and meet a friend for drinks. Want to go out tonight?” I asked, taking a pull from the water pipe. </p>
<p>Thess looked up from her hand, “Sure, I win drinking money,” she replied, flashing a grin to Dreks and Koval. </p>
<p>Ahobri got dressed up, wearing a tiny strapless blue dress that showed off her legs and plenty of cleavage. I tied her headtails in black ribbons. </p>
<p>All my nice clothes were aboard Sawai, and Thess didn’t have anything more than a few pairs of tunics and pants. </p>
<p>We set out across the city together. </p>
<p>I talked with Thess about our plans for the next day. We’d be leaving for Carlac in the morning, then we’d be headed out to Bengat to relax and celebrate with Ekene for a couple of days. </p>
<p>Thess nodded along, still absorbed by the sights and sounds on Artrix. </p>
<p>Ahobri stayed with Thess to help her shop for an outfit she liked, while I continued on towards the garage. </p>
<p>When I got aboard Sawai, I checked my comms and found a message waiting. </p>
<p>It was Raj. </p>
<p>Of course it was. </p>
<p>I took a seat in the captain’s chair and waited a moment before playing the message. </p>
<p>Snoke had ordered me to meet with Raj. Ymir had ordered me to meet with Raj and accept whatever he was going to offer. </p>
<p>I hated being in this position. </p>
<p>I leaned forward and pressed the button on the console. </p>
<p>Raj’s handsome face pulled up in my holofeed. </p>
<p>“Siobhan, I hope your search for the tracker is going well-” he began, deciding to jab at me. </p>
<p>I grinned, resting my chin on my fist as I listened to the message. I hadn’t found anything. After a few weeks of flying, it looked like Raj was telling the truth about not installing bugs in the ship.</p>
<p>“You’re a difficult woman to pin down,” he continued, “You said you’re tired of Estates, so I’ve planned something special for us. Call me.”</p>
<p>The message ended. </p>
<p>I sat in my cockpit, thinking. </p>
<p>After a couple of minutes I played the message again. </p>
<p>My act had worked. Raj wasn’t used to being turned down, and he liked it. He liked the challenge. </p>
<p>I played the message once more, then walked to the captain’s quarters. </p>
<p>I’d respond in my own time. </p>
<p>Inside my quarters, I started going through the trunks, packing the outfits I’d need for the next week. </p>
<p>I’d be dressed plainly for the Smuggler’s Alliance - my jacket and utility pants would get the job done.</p>
<p>Afterwards, we’d be dropping by Ekene’s. For that trip, I packed several gowns, shoes, and jewelry - enough outfits to make it difficult to choose what I’d be wearing. </p>
<p>As I sifted through my clothes, I tried to decide what to wear to Necto. </p>
<p>It was an upscale place. I expected there to be a number of Hutts. I decided on a dress that would cover up the scars on my arms. I would be wearing black, with a high slit up my leg, and a shimmering silver drape pinned to my shoulders. </p>
<p>I heard Ahobri and Thess come aboard as I began to change. </p>
<p>“We should hurry. We told Troye we’d be meeting him in an hour,” Ahobri said, as she entered my bedroom. </p>
<p>I was applying make-up, red on my lips and smoky black around my eyes. </p>
<p>“I’m pretty much ready,” I called out, blotting my lipstick.</p>
<p>Thess walked into the bathroom, holding a bag under her arm. </p>
<p>“You got a haircut,” I said, turning her way. </p>
<p>Thess had gone back to the closely-buzzed hair of a soldier. I hadn’t even noticed how her hair had grown out over the past few weeks, but now the difference was obvious. </p>
<p>“You can grow your hair out,” I said, surprised by her choice, “You’re not a grunt anymore.”</p>
<p>“I like it,” Thess said firmly, running a hand over the fuzz and stubble that remained. </p>
<p>“Okay,” I replied with a nod, “Just making sure.”</p>
<p>I left the bathroom, giving Thess room to change. Ahobri was sitting on my bed, she had kicked her heels off. </p>
<p>“You are so beautiful,” I said, giving her a kiss as I sank down at her side. </p>
<p>It was several minutes before Thess emerged from the bathroom. I spent the time cuddling with Ahobri in my bed. </p>
<p>We heard the door whoosh open.</p>
<p>“Let’s see it!” I called out as Thess stepped into the room. </p>
<p>Thess’ outfit was great, but she was hunched and shy. “What think?” she asked, picking at a hem. </p>
<p>She hadn’t chosen a dress. Thess wore a well-tailored mantle with a high collar, resting on top of a flowing green drape. </p>
<p>With her freshly-shaved head and geometric tattoos on her cheeks, the look was striking. Her green robe that elegantly crisscrossed in front, draping down to her hips. She had very tight black pants and a pair of black leather boots that rose all the way to her knees.</p>
<p>“You’re gorgeous,” I said, with a smile. </p>
<p>“Too fancy,” Thess said with a frown, scuffing a bootheel against the metal floors. </p>
<p>“Honey, you aren’t too fancy,” Ahobri said, getting to her feet, leaving her heels off for now. </p>
<p>I joined them in the bathroom, taking a seat on the counter, while Ahobri worked on her make-up and put her jewelry on. </p>
<p>“We’re going to a spot downtown to meet up with a friend,” I said, realizing that I should let Thess know what she was getting into, “So, look, this place isn’t Fedje. Ahobri and I are going to take you out, so I want you to feel like you belong. I know what it’s like to go from the sticks to the city. We’ll show you a good time.”</p>
<p>Thess gave me a wide-eyed, grateful look. </p>
<p>She wasn’t used to this kind of attention. She kept moving and shifting in her seat while Ahobri tried to do her make-up. </p>
<p>“Sweetie,” Ahobri warned, a liner pencil in hand, “If you don’t stop moving I’m going to have Siobhan use the Force to hold you still.”</p>
<p>I winked at her. </p>
<p>
  <b>III</b>
</p>
<p>When we were done, Ahobri called Troye to let him know we were on our way. </p>
<p>I left my trunk of clothes with one of the valets at the garage. They’d arrange a courier to drop the trunk off at the apartment. </p>
<p>We set off across the city. I had my arm linked with Ahobri’s as we strode through the streets, illuminated by the bright lights. </p>
<p>Necto was a large club. There was a long line outside.</p>
<p>I bribed the bouncers so that we could skip the queue. They let us right in. </p>
<p>The first few floors were dedicated bars and lounges, the party growing more raucous the higher up you went. This was where the well-heeled went to show off and have a good time. </p>
<p>Dozens of clients had taken me here before. It felt good to be the one doing the buying now. </p>
<p>We walked through the first room, a large space lit in a ritzy golden glow. There were white floors and white columns. The ceiling glinted with hammered-gold tiles. Glass statues and structures decorated the space, shining smooth and cool. </p>
<p>I linked my arm with Thess. “You’ll have plenty of time to look, just don’t stare,” I whispered. </p>
<p>The first floor was the place to schmooze and be seen. </p>
<p>Well dressed men stood, chatting in groups. Their women hung off their arms, flashing smiles with clean teeth, covered in jewelry, flaunting their best features.  </p>
<p>We found Troye at the bar, having a conversation with an older man. He looked like Raj, with his white hair, slicked back from his face, his fine suit. </p>
<p>As soon as we arrived, the man was forgotten. </p>
<p>“Siobhan! Ahobri!” Troye shouted, sliding out of his seat to give us hugs and kisses on the cheek, “And who is this darling little thing?” he asked, bending over to give Thess a hug. </p>
<p>“That’s Thess, she’s my new pilot,” I introduced. </p>
<p>“Thess, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Troye said, putting a hand on his hip. He looked over at me, “I’m sure she’s a doll, but I wish you had brought your last pilot.”</p>
<p>I grinned and winked, “I’ll make sure he knows you miss him.”</p>
<p>Thess had her head tilted to the side, not understanding the joke. </p>
<p>The older man waited patiently in his chair while we made introductions. When it was clear that he wasn’t going to be introduced and that Troye was done with his attention, he walked away. </p>
<p>“Troye, you look beautiful,” I said, taking his hand, giving him a spin. </p>
<p>He had on a sleeveless dress. The top was sheer black mesh, showing off his smooth chest and belly. At the waist was a black silk sash and a glittering asymmetrical skirt that trailed to the ground, showing off his legs and pointed heels. Troye’s long black hair was twisted over his shoulder.</p>
<p>Ahobri was leaning over the bar, ordering us drinks. </p>
<p>We did shots of some sweet green liqueur before moving our party to one of the upstairs lounges. </p>
<p>We set ourselves up in a round booth with purple cushions. A woman in a gold dress was on stage, a band playing behind her. Her songs had good rhythm, and I caught my hips moving, a finger tapping on the lip of my glass. </p>
<p>Thess was doing her best not to stare at Troye. She had never seen anyone like him, with his provocative clothes, loud voice, and dramatic friendliness. </p>
<p>When Troye tried to talk to her, he was met with one or two word responses, so his attention drifted back to me and Ahobri. </p>
<p>Our waitress brought us bottles and we got caught up on all the Outpost drama of the past several weeks. </p>
<p>Jukhara was doing well. Everything was normal. </p>
<p>“It’s just the same thing, day after day,” Troye complained, drinking deeply from a glass of fizzy alcohol, “The money is fine, but nothing changes.”</p>
<p>“When were you planning on buying your contract?” Ahobri asked. </p>
<p>“At the end of the cycle,” Troye replied, finishing his drink.</p>
<p>“That’s soon. Do you know what you want to do after?” I asked, pouring everyone a fresh round. </p>
<p>He shrugged, “I dunno, maybe see if one of my clients wants to take me full-time. Preferably someone that doesn’t live on Artrix.”</p>
<p>“I might be hiring,” I said, “Work’s been good for me lately, and I’m thinking about setting up a place of my own.”</p>
<p>“Siobhan, if you’re hiring, I will drop anything I have going on. You know how to have fun.”</p>
<p>I kissed him, sliding a hand through his sleek black hair. </p>
<p>After finishing several bottles, we moved to the upper floor for dancing. The lights glittered and flashed, people swayed together. </p>
<p>Ahobri pulled Thess in to dance with her, leading the small girl across the floor. </p>
<p>Troye and I danced close, our hips pressed together, kissing between songs. </p>
<p>As the night went on, the dance floor became a crush of bodies. A few people had their eyes on me and Ahobri, giving us drinks and compliments, playing grab ass. </p>
<p>I accepted the drinks and flirtation, but stayed with Troye, frustrating the men that wanted to take me home. </p>
<p>Thess was beginning to relax. The men in the club didn’t know what to make of her - a tiny girl covered in tattoos, just her face and hands showing. They mostly stayed out of her way. </p>
<p>By the end of the night, all four of us were very drunk, laughing as we kissed and swayed to the music, a happy foursome. </p>
<p>Ahobri was the one who started urging us towards the door. We needed to leave in the morning for our meeting with the Smuggler’s Alliance. </p>
<p>Troye wasn’t ready to end the night. He piled into the covered speeder with us, sitting in my lap, kissing my neck as we returned to the apartment. </p>
<p>“Koval! Darling! I’ve missed you!” Troye shouted as he kicked off his heels in the hallway. </p>
<p>“It’s been so quiet without you,” Koval said, accepting Troye’s hug and kiss on the cheek as he ran into our living room.  </p>
<p>I pulled some bottles of wine out of a cabinet in the kitchen. Thess was yawning, moving towards her room. </p>
<p>“I’m going to stay up for a little while,” I told her, “Want to join us?”</p>
<p>Thess glanced at me in my fine dress, with bottles of wine under my arm, to Troye, who had pulled Ahobri into his lap, greedily kissing her. </p>
<p>“Sleepy,” she said, stopping a yawn. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I’ll regret this in the morning,” I told her, glancing at the bottles under my arm, “G’night.”</p>
<p>Koval was used to our antics. He stayed on the couch, mostly ignoring us. He was watching a drama on the holoprojector. </p>
<p>Ahobri, Troye and I tumbled into the bedroom, pulling off clothes and opening bottles. </p>
<p>We melted together, a tangle of arms and legs. </p>
<p>The sex was drunk and sloppy. We laughed as we shifted positions, falling on top of each other. </p>
<p>Troye loved seeing me and Ahobri together. He sat on the sidelines, stroking himself, joining in when he wanted to. </p>
<p>We had fucked each other often enough to know what we liked. It was simple and familiar. </p>
<p>Troye traced his fingertips across my scars, the marks on my forearm and the burn on my right shoulder. He kissed me gently. </p>
<p>I fell asleep with both of them in my arms, sweaty and peaceful beneath the sheets. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The three of us jolted awake when the console alarm went off. </p>
<p>“Fuck…” Ahobri murmured, turning over to bury her face in her pillow. </p>
<p>I climbed out of bed to shut the alarm off. </p>
<p>“We need to get moving,” I said. </p>
<p>Troye was snuggling himself deeper into the blankets, “Can I stay here?” he asked. </p>
<p>Ordinarily, I wouldn’t have to think about it. But, knowing Boz wanted to keep an eye on us, I hesitated. </p>
<p>“Sorry, you gotta head out when we do,” I replied. </p>
<p>There was a half-drunk bottle of wine on Ahobri’s vanity. I passed it to Troye as he sat up. </p>
<p>Ahobri sat on the edge of the bed, holding her forehead, “Gods, I am so hungover…”</p>
<p>She leaned off the edge of the bed, digging around for her little kit of drugs. </p>
<p>We all did a couple of lines of Blue. Ahobri went to shower.</p>
<p>I pulled on one of Ahobri’s robes and headed down the hall to check on Thess. She was already awake, eating breakfast on the sofa with Dreks. </p>
<p>“Mornin’,” I greeted, rubbing my eyes. My hand came away with dark smudges, and I realized that I had never taken my make-up off. </p>
<p>“When we leave?” Thess asked. </p>
<p>“In an hour,” I replied. “Dreks, I’m going to need some help carrying things out to the ship.”</p>
<p>“Sure thing,” the large Gran replied. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>At the end of an hour, we were ready to leave. </p>
<p>Ahobri was dressed and packed, her hangover tempered by stimulants and a glass of wine. </p>
<p>Troye borrowed some of my clothes so he didn’t have to walk home in his dress from the night before. </p>
<p>“It was lovely seeing you, like always,” he said, kissing me and Ahobri goodbye. </p>
<p>“I’ll let you know when I get the house set up,” I told him. </p>
<p>I helped Dreks carry my crate of clothing. Each of us took one end, with Ahobri’s two suitcases stacked on top. </p>
<p>Rosie was a drastic change from Sawai. Suddenly she seemed dingy and cramped. </p>
<p>Ahobri would be sharing my quarters. The room felt too full. </p>
<p>Thess would get her own space. I didn’t expect her to be leaving the ship at all for this mission, so she deserved a space of her own. </p>
<p>I went to the cockpit. Thess was there, warming up the engines. </p>
<p>I checked my comms. </p>
<p>Raj’s message was saved. I still needed to deal with that. </p>
<p>“We’re headed to Carlac,” I reminded Thess, “All the data’s on the console. Take us up, I need to send a few messages.”</p>
<p>“Yah,” she replied with a nod. </p>
<p>My first message was easy. I sent Tynne a line to confirm we were on the way, perfectly on schedule. </p>
<p>I typed a few lines to Ymir, hating my hesitation, the tremble in my fingers. I hoped that Thess didn’t notice. </p>
<p>[Headed out to meet with Smuggler’s Alliance. I’ll reach out once the deal is done. Raj contacted me. He wants some kind of meeting. I haven’t contacted him yet, I’ll tell you when I do.]</p>
<p>Outside the windows, city traffic flooded by, people going about their days. </p>
<p>Ahobri wandered up to the cockpit, leaning over the back of the co-pilot’s seat. “Have you called Ekene?” </p>
<p>“Not yet,” I replied. </p>
<p>Ahobri reached forward, typing in Ekene’s line. His face swam up on the screen, staticky and blue-tinted.</p>
<p>“Ahobri, Siobhan,” he greeted warmly, “And who’s your guest?”</p>
<p>It looked like he had decided to grow a beard. It looked better-groomed than the last time I talked to him. </p>
<p>“This is Thess, she’s my pilot,” I introduced. “Thess, this is my friend Ekene.”</p>
<p>She nodded and mumbled a quiet hello. </p>
<p>Ahobri cut in with a bright smile, “We’re going to wrap up this meeting with the Smuggler’s Alliance. Will you celebrate with us?” </p>
<p>“I will,” Ekene replied, matching her smile with his own, “A few friends are staying with me, you can tell us all about your success.”</p>
<p>“I can’t wait,” Ahobri said, “We’ll be by in a couple of days. We’ll send a line.”</p>
<p>“Good luck, ladies,” Ekene said, “I’ll see you soon.”</p>
<p>Ahobri ended the call. “What is it, six hours to Carlac?” she asked, stifling a yawn. </p>
<p>“Sounds about right,” I replied. </p>
<p>“Let me get a few hours of shut-eye. We can finish reviewing plans later,” she said. </p>
<p>“I might join you soon,” I said, kissing her cheek before she left.</p>
<p>Thess finished taking us into open space. </p>
<p>I was caught up in my thoughts, debating how I would respond to Raj.</p>
<p>“Ready?” Thess asked. </p>
<p>I looked up, blinking a few times. “For what?”</p>
<p>“Anything before hyperspace?” Thess asked. </p>
<p>I shook my head, “Let’s get going.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Thess went off to her quarters. I wandered off to the cargo bay and sat at the table, drinking caffeine, clearing out the last of my hangover. </p>
<p>I reviewed the Smuggler’s Alliance proposal on my tablet, scanning through the maps and intelligence reports. </p>
<p>My thoughts kept circling back to Raj. I allowed my frustration to soften. </p>
<p>I didn’t like Ymir and Snoke ordering me around, but they weren’t asking me to do anything I wasn’t thinking about doing already. </p>
<p>Raj hadn’t been a challenge for me. He was a playboy, used to getting his way. I was exciting to him - a nobody from the Outer Rim who had climbed her way into Ymir’s circle. </p>
<p>The man was going to try to entice me into his and Snoke’s little scheme. </p>
<p>Their plot to kill the head of the First Order. </p>
<p>Fresh doubt churned in my mind. </p>
<p>Sure, the meeting with Raj wouldn’t be difficult, but what were my intentions?</p>
<p>Ymir had offered me peace, if I would give up my plan for revenge. </p>
<p>I could have it all. Money and power. I could take care of Ahobri, give her everything she wanted. </p>
<p>I moved from the kitchen table to the scuffed and dirty floor of my cargo bay to meditate. I took a cross-legged seat on the cold floor of my ratty old ship, my hands planted on my knees.</p>
<p>The Darkside was there for me, though not as close as it was last time. </p>
<p>Revenge used to be my only goal. Now my path was winding, branching in different directions. </p>
<p>I had power, power to shape the world, to have people do what I wanted, but I had never felt more uncertain. </p>
<p>The future was constantly shifting. </p>
<p>I practiced sitting, calm and patient- leaving my heart open to the Darkside. </p>
<p>I had let go of the idea of avenging my father. </p>
<p>What if I let go of the idea of revenge entirely?</p>
<p>I could feel Ymir’s hand on my cheek, cradling my face. </p>
<p>He offered peace and freedom. </p>
<p>Darkness swirled beneath me, growling and hungry. </p>
<p>I sat, emptying my thoughts, practicing letting go of worry and fear. </p>
<p>Hours passed this way</p>
<p>“Uh… sorry…” I heard Thess mumble. </p>
<p>I blinked open my eyes, confused. </p>
<p>“What happened?” I asked after a second. </p>
<p>“Didn’t know… you… what you doing?” Thess said.</p>
<p>I couldn’t help but laugh. I uncrossed my legs, resting my hands on my thighs. </p>
<p>“Thess, we haven’t worked together for very long, but I really appreciate you,” I said. </p>
<p>A tinge of red bloomed on her cheeks, underneath the tattoos. </p>
<p>“I was meditating,” I explained, “It’s a way for me to connect with the Force.”</p>
<p>“What happen?” Thess asked, starting to dig around in the cabinets for a couple of mugs. </p>
<p>“Oh nothing,” I replied, getting to my feet, “Just exploring the void.”</p>
<p>Thess gave me a funny look, but I didn’t elaborate.  </p>
<p>I stood up, joining her at the counter, “Making caffeine?”</p>
<p>Thess nodded. </p>
<p>“Let’s make enough for Ahobri. I should wake her up,” I said.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Getting ready for this meeting was nothing compared to the Hutts. The Uhdea’s and Haaks had wanted a show of wealth; they wanted to be dazzled; they wanted me to sell them my idea. The Smuggler’s Alliance was the opposite; they would be suspicious if I went around flashing money, trying to talk them into a scheme. </p>
<p>Tynne could smell baanthashit from the other side of the Galaxy. He and Jukhara were the same that way. </p>
<p>I brought Ahobri caffeine and we did a couple more lines of Blue while we got dressed. </p>
<p>Ahobri wore street clothes, wide-legged black pants, a plain white shirt that hugged her curves, and a tan vest, cut long. I braided her headtails in white ribbons, bundling them on either side of her head. </p>
<p>I pulled on a tunic, pants, and my olive jacket. For this meeting, I’d go in with my blaster on my hip - they wouldn’t see it as an immediate threat. </p>
<p>We moved to the kitchen to finish practicing how we’d use our information. </p>
<p>Ahobri grilled me on different scenarios. </p>
<p>I expected Tynne and Matthias to give me a hard time. </p>
<p>Arjun would be on my side, but he was a pushover and the rest of the men knew it. Verza and Eldo were the last two members of the Smuggler’s Alliance and I only knew about them from the First Order intelligence reports. I had never worked with them or anyone from their crews. </p>
<p>Thess sat at the edge of the booth, watching us work. She had a game pulled up on a tablet, but after a while I noticed that she wasn’t playing. </p>
<p>“This is going to be the same deal as Dandoran,” I told Thess.“I don’t want anyone touching this ship. No attendants, no fuel, no nothing,” I continued, “The difference is, that if someone pushes the issue, I can’t have you blasting them-”</p>
<p>Thess nodded. </p>
<p>“Just talk with them, y’know, smuggler to smuggler. If you can’t get them off your case, let me know over the comms and I’ll take care of it.”</p>
<p>“Yah, okay,” Thess said, with a serious, focused expression. </p>
<p>“Whoever it is, talk with them like they’re on your side. Matthias’ crew might get a kick out of chatting with a local smuggler from the Outer Rim,” I said, giving her shoulder a pat. </p>
<p>
  <b>IV</b>
</p>
<p>We exited hyperspace. Carlac sat like a large pearl in front of us. </p>
<p>She was a beautiful planet, a gas giant the color of clouds after it rains. Across the surface were pale, dusty swirls of blue and green. The planet had a ring around it - some moon or meteor that had been blown apart, the remnants circling in orbit forever. </p>
<p>Ahobri enjoyed the view while I called Tynne on my comms. </p>
<p>Channa answered. Her hair was freshly cut, short on the sides, a little curl in what was left on top. </p>
<p>“You here?” she asked, her mouth turning down at the corner. </p>
<p>“Just arrived,” I replied, keeping my tone breezy and friendly. </p>
<p>“There’s a spot for you in Hangar Ten,” Channa said, intent on avoiding conversation with me.</p>
<p>“I’ll see you aboard,” I replied with a grin. </p>
<p>I pulled up the coordinates for Matthias’ house and Thess took us down. </p>
<p>We sank through clouds, thick and foggy. </p>
<p>I didn’t know anything about the planet. I felt that there were living creatures here, not just the people that chose to call this place home. There were native creatures, things that flew or floated through the clouds. I couldn’t see anything, but I felt flickers of life at the edge of my awareness. </p>
<p>I kept on the lookout for danger. </p>
<p>Matthias made his home in a great spindle-shaped building, floating in the clouds. </p>
<p>The bottom half of the structure was all metal, dotted with windows, hangars, garbage chutes. At the top was a massive rectangular dome. It was made of glass, reflecting the hazy light that filtered through the clouds. </p>
<p>We made a circuit around the building, looking for Hangar Ten. We found it on the northern side of the building.</p>
<p>As we entered, I spotted Tynne’s personal cruiser. Channa was here. I had no idea if anyone else in his crew had come along. </p>
<p>“That’s my old boss’ ship. The one with the beard,” I said to Thess, “I assume we’re in this hangar so his people can keep an eye on us. I like his crew, so if anyone talks to you, just keep it casual. Y’know, talk without saying anything.”</p>
<p>Thess set us down nice and easy in the busy hangar. </p>
<p>A woman I didn’t recognize was approaching our ship. </p>
<p>I shouldered my satchel and Ahobri picked up her bag. </p>
<p>“Good luck,” Thess said. I grinned and gave her a wink. </p>
<p>Ahobri gave me a kiss before I lowered the ramp to the cargo bay. </p>
<p>Once I nailed this deal, the hard part of the assignment would be over. </p>
<p>We exited Rosie and the woman strode forward to greet us. I noticed her eyes flicker up to my ship - the shabby machine with its bad red paint job. </p>
<p>The woman had a stern, regal kind of beauty. She was two meters tall, with jet-black skin and braids that flowed down past her waist. She moved with a centered confidence and grace, the slightest sway in her narrow hips. </p>
<p>“Siobhan Zhang,” she said, her tone was direct and businesslike, “I’m Euora Lesel.”</p>
<p>I nodded in acknowledgement, giving her hand a firm shake as we met, “This is my associate, Jaina Dett,” I introduced. </p>
<p>Ahobri was in awe of this woman, and fought to keep her composure. </p>
<p>“The Council is assembled,” Euora said, “I’m going to need to take your blaster and search your bags.”</p>
<p>She snapped her fingers and two men from the crew hustled over. </p>
<p>“Sure thing,” I replied handing one of the men my blaster. Euora motioned for me to pass her my satchel. </p>
<p>She looked through our things and gave us a pat-down, efficient and practiced. </p>
<p>I wished I hadn’t talked to Ahobri about the potential for a firefight. I thought about my lightsabers, stashed away inside my ship. </p>
<p>Once the pat-down was complete, Euora motioned for us to follow her into Matthias’ house. </p>
<p>It was a grand, show-offy kind of place. The exterior wall of the hallway was all windows, letting in hazy light. </p>
<p>There was art on the walls, rugs on the floors, alcoves with plants. Matthias was happy to let people know how much money he had. </p>
<p>I remembered Tynne saying that he shared a border with Matthias to keep an eye on him. </p>
<p>This didn’t feel like any of the smuggling crews I had run with. There were people in the halls, better dressed and more formal than what I was used to. I didn’t see the same kind of camaraderie with open doors; people drinking, smoking, and gambling their way through the time between jobs. </p>
<p>I thought I even spotted a few servants, something I had never seen on a smuggling ship. </p>
<p>Euora escorted us onto an elevator and we found ourselves rising along the exterior of the building, clouds rushing past the glass walls. </p>
<p>“So what’s your position here, Euora?” I asked. </p>
<p>My guess was bodyguard. She felt like a soldier, organized and precise. Her clothes were simple - black pants with a silver stripe down the side, disappearing into the tops of her boots,  a red leather jacket with a plain white shirt underneath. </p>
<p>“I’m Matthias’ second in command,” she answered. </p>
<p>That was unexpected.</p>
<p>Euora was clearly uninterested in making conversation. She didn’t say anything else. We walked in silence from the elevator to the meeting room. </p>
<p>A security droid was stationed outside. Euora gave the droid a nod and it opened the doors for us. </p>
<p>I followed Euora inside, Ahobri just a pace behind me. </p>
<p>I took stock of the room.</p>
<p>The five heads of the Smuggler’s Alliance, along with their deputies, were seated around a circular table. </p>
<p>Tynne stood up, “For those of you who don’t know her, this is Siobhan Zhang, she used to be a part of my crew a few years back. This is her business partner…” he looked at Ahobri, fumbling the name.</p>
<p>“Jaina Dett,” I announced to the room. </p>
<p>Euora walked over to take a seat next to Matthias. </p>
<p>There was a pair of open chairs for us. Tynne was  seated on my right, and a Dresselian I didn’t know would be on Ahobri’s left. </p>
<p>I kept my awareness open, wanting to get a feel for my audience. </p>
<p>I passed Matthias’ seat on my way around the table. He turned to me as I passed. </p>
<p>“Zhang,” he greeted, with a friendly smile on his handsome face, “Tynne told me that this wasn’t our first time meeting.”</p>
<p>What an undermining piece of shit…</p>
<p>I smiled, sweet and cool. “It would have been six or seven years ago. I wouldn’t expect you to remember,” I said, taking my seat. </p>
<p>Across the table from me was a Neimoidian. He wore fine red robes. Standing behind him was a security droid with a glossy black chassis and a blaster in its hands. </p>
<p>Tynne took over, “Siobhan, I know you haven’t met everyone here,” he began, sounding gruff and bored, “That’s Verza,” he pointed to the Neimoidian across from me, “And that man to his left is Eldo,” he continued. </p>
<p>Ahobri was sitting next to a Dressellian I hadn’t met before. His head was bulbous and pockmarked. His skin was brown and leathery. He wore simple green robes. His associate on his left was a smaller Duro, hands folded in front of him. </p>
<p>“Of course you know Arjun...” Tynne said, pointing out the tall, green-scaled Trandoshan. </p>
<p>Arjun clearly did not want to be here. He had taken my offer just to make some easy credits, and now he was being dragged into a Council meeting. His partner was the elegant female Trandoshan I had seen before. Right now, I couldn’t remember her name. </p>
<p>“... and Matthias and Euora,” Tynne finished. </p>
<p>He didn’t need to introduce himself or Channa. </p>
<p>Knowing Tynne, this should be the end of the formalities. </p>
<p>“Jaina,” Tynne said, turning to face Ahobri, “We found something interesting about you as we did our research.”</p>
<p>Ahobri was attentive and charming, “What did you find out about me?”</p>
<p>“You don’t exist,” Tynne replied. </p>
<p>These were the opening jabs, there would be more to come. </p>
<p>“Well I certainly exist now,” Ahobri said with a wink. There was some scattered laughter across the room.</p>
<p>“Care to give us another name?” Tynne said, raising an eyebrow. </p>
<p>“I don’t think so,” Ahobri said, sweetly, “I’ve grown very fond of the name.”</p>
<p>Tynne stared at her for a beat before turning to me.</p>
<p>I wanted to squeeze Ahobri’s hand. She had aced it.  </p>
<p>He turned to me, “Siobhan, we’d like you to state your business with us. What kind of deal is your employer offering the Smuggler’s Alliance?”</p>
<p>If Tynne was trying to throw me off my game, this was not the way to do it. He should have known that I loved an audience. </p>
<p>“I’m representing an anonymous organization that has an interest in specific sectors of your territory. They would like to see the ‘Alliance cease its activities in these sectors in exchange for regular intelligence reports on smuggling targets and eight hundred thousand credits per cycle-”</p>
<p>“Is that a lump sum you’re offering to the ‘Alliance?” Tynne said, his gnarled hands folded over his belly. </p>
<p>It was a shockingly high number. Tynne was forcing himself to act like it was nothing. </p>
<p>“Yes, that’s the total,” I repeated, “But we’ll need to do some reworking, seeing as how you and Arjun are already paid up for this cycle.”</p>
<p>I was going to make my case on the fact that Tynne and Arjun had taken the money. This didn’t need to be a difficult process. I was offering cash in hand, available to all the leaders of the Smuggler’s Alliance.</p>
<p>“I worked up several maps to show how much this affects each leader’s territory,” I continued, pulling a datachip out of my satchel and setting it on the table. </p>
<p>Tynne butted in, waving his hand, “You were never this prepared when you were working for me.”</p>
<p>That was fucking low. </p>
<p>Before I had a chance to respond, Matthias was jumping in. </p>
<p>They had a strategy. </p>
<p>“I heard that you aren’t willing to tell us anything your employer,” Matthias said, eyeing me. </p>
<p>“No,” I answered plainly, looking him in the eyes. </p>
<p>He was incredibly handsome, with a strong jawline and the right amount of stubble. He had a brilliant crimson cloak wrapped around his wide shoulders. Matthias was fiery, dripping with charisma. </p>
<p>“That’s the reason why I’ve assembled the council,” Tynne said, addressing the room. </p>
<p>“But you told us that you accepted her deal,” Verza, the Neimoidian, said. </p>
<p>I might have another friend in the room. </p>
<p>“I did,” Tynne answered, “But I wanted the chance to express my concerns before she makes private arrangements with the rest of us.” He paused for a moment, making sure he had the attention of the room. </p>
<p>“If we decide not to deal with Siobhan, I will equally distribute her payments with the ‘Alliance. I won’t keep a single credit for myself.”</p>
<p>That was a clever move. This meeting was going to be a slog. </p>
<p>“So she’s good for the money?” Verza continued, arching a brow. </p>
<p>I liked him more and more. </p>
<p>“Yes, she’s good for the money,” Arjun answered, sounding irritated. </p>
<p>“Then I don’t see the purpose of this meeting,” Verza said, his lips pursing in his flat gray face.</p>
<p>Tynne spoke, “I had Siobhan in my crew for over a year, and I don’t think she’s a trustworthy business partner, especially now that I know the scale of this deal.”</p>
<p>Fuck. </p>
<p>Ahobri didn’t react. I sat back in my chair, cool and collected. </p>
<p>Tynne wasn’t done, “She ditched my crew to help another organization steal a payload of weapons.”</p>
<p>There were murmurs and mumbles through the room, but Tynne had just given me a way out. </p>
<p>“Would you mind letting everyone know what crew I helped?” I said, as casual as I could. </p>
<p>Channa folded her arms, stonewalling. </p>
<p>I looked expectantly at Tynne. </p>
<p>“It was the Resistance,” he grumbled. </p>
<p>I nodded, “It was a difficult decision, but I decided to liberate our weapons for a righteous cause,” I said, “I worked with the Resistance for the next five years.”</p>
<p>This would warm me up with Matthias. He loved this kind of shit. </p>
<p>Matthias was looking at me, his chin resting on the heel of his hand, “See, that’s the thing,” he began, “Tynne and I did some digging into you, and we found out the Resistance thinks that you’re dead.”</p>
<p>Fuck. This was not going the way I had planned. </p>
<p>“It wouldn’t be the first time someone thought I was dead,” I replied breezily. </p>
<p>Ahobri was breathing carefully. The room didn’t feel hostile, yet. It would all depend on how I managed to spin this conversation.</p>
<p>“But you’re not with the Resistance anymore,” Matthias repeated, drawing attention back to himself, “The records I’ve seen, indicate that they lost you in a battle over Jaemus. No one has heard from you since.”</p>
<p>“Got a little too close to death for my taste,” I said, tapping the scar over my left cheek and eye, “It made me reevaluate some things.”</p>
<p>“I don’t particularly care if the girl deserted after a battle,” Eldo, the Dressellian, cut in for the first time, “Did you pull up any other information that demonstrates she’s untrustworthy?”</p>
<p>Matthias sat back, giving up the spotlight. </p>
<p>“We didn’t,” Tynne admitted. </p>
<p>If he told the Resistance that I was still alive… if he told them that I was out making deals, throwing around hundreds of thousands of credits…</p>
<p>There was no way for me to ask. </p>
<p>“I don’t care about her military record,” Verza said, “Her information on high-value targets has checked out so far. If she’s good for the money, I don’t see why we shouldn’t accept her deal.”</p>
<p>My guy. I could kiss him. </p>
<p>“What kind of information will you be able to provide us, going forward?” Eldo asked, swinging his large ugly, face in my direction. </p>
<p>“That is something I advise my employer on,” I said, seeing a chance to turn the conversation back in my favor, “The people who hired me aren’t experienced in this kind of business, but I’ve done the hard work to ensure that all of you will get unique information on different industries, so that you aren’t competing with each other for targets, or for buyers.”</p>
<p>There were murmurs of approval through the room. </p>
<p>I was about to close this deal. </p>
<p>“Does anyone else have any further questions?” Tynne asked, looking across the faces assembled around the table. </p>
<p>“I do,” Matthias said.</p>
<p>Of course he did. </p>
<p>I sat still, peaceful and easy in my chair. </p>
<p>“I like to keep an eye on events in the Outer Rim,” Matthias continued, “Me and my crew have been noticing more First Order activity in places where we’ve never seen them before. Do you know anything about that?”</p>
<p>The room went quiet. I hoped that Ahobri could keep her cool. This had to be the last big hurdle. If we could get us through this, we’d have the Smuggler’s Alliance. </p>
<p>“Where are they popping up?” I asked, making a subtle expression of disgust. </p>
<p>“We’ve seen their ships in the sectors between Bheriz and Pelgrin,” Matthias answered, “Mostly flyovers, but there’s more activity in those hyperspace lanes. Some First Order cruisers have been appearing and idling for a few days at a time.”</p>
<p>My lip curled in genuine anger. Hux and Ren were ignoring my expansion schedule. I made a mental note to yell at them later.</p>
<p>Matthias noticed my pause. </p>
<p>“Commander Reyes is stationed on Daluuj,” I said with a thoughtful frown, “Have you talked with him about the activity in his sectors?”</p>
<p>I wasn’t going to let Matthias’ comment turn into an accusation. I’d talk strategy for a moment, then move the conversation along. </p>
<p>“He’s monitoring it,” Matthias responded. </p>
<p>“Well, if you see any TIE fighters out on patrol, they make good target practice,” I said with a toothy grin and a wink. </p>
<p>Laughter rippled across the room. </p>
<p>It seemed I had done enough. </p>
<p>“Any last questions for our guests?” Tynne asked. </p>
<p>Everyone was silent for a couple of beats. </p>
<p>Matthias stood, turning to his second in command, “Euora, escort these two women out while we deliberate. We’ll call for you when we’re ready.”</p>
<p>Wordlessly, Euora stood. Ahobri and I did the same, our chairs scraping behind us on the metal floors. I left the datachip on the table for them to eye while we were gone, a symbol of what I was offering.</p>
<p>As we left the room, I felt eyes on my back. </p>
<p>I also felt greed. </p>
<p>Euora led us down the hallway, far enough from the room where there wasn’t a risk of the men being overheard. Outside the windows, the clouds swirled hypnotically catching light and making faint shimmering rainbow patterns. </p>
<p>We were escorted down the hall, almost to the elevator. Someone had set up three chairs for us. </p>
<p>Euora took her post, standing against the wall. Ahobri and I took chairs next to one another. I wanted to talk to Ahobri, but there was nothing we could say to each other with Euora standing guard. </p>
<p>“So, how long have you been working for Matthias?” I asked, settling in, resting an ankle over my knee. </p>
<p>“Five years,” Euora answered. Her tone was direct and unfriendly. </p>
<p>“That’s a long time,” I replied, doggedly pressing ahead. </p>
<p>Ahobri blinked long and slow, the most subtle way of signalling her displeasure with me. </p>
<p>“I’m surprised you’re not in the room with them to help decide on this deal,” I finished. </p>
<p>Euora made an icy smirk, turning towards me. “So what’s this story about you stealing Tynne’s payload?” she asked, with a sarcastic edge to her voice. </p>
<p>“Oh, I just happened to have a change of heart during a mission,” I said with a shrug. </p>
<p>Euora kept her gaze trained on me. I glanced her way, meeting her dark eyes before continuing. </p>
<p>“Well, the Resistance intercepted our ship right before our delivery on Birgis,” I began, “Channa was leading the crew. She still hasn’t forgiven me for it.”</p>
<p>Euora made a small snort, giving me the barest hint of a smile. </p>
<p>“My Pa was part of the Rebellion, and I grew up hearing all his stories,” I said, “So when the Resistance boarded our ship, I decided it was my moment to join up, fight for the freedom of the Galaxy, make my father proud, y’know.”</p>
<p>There was skepticism in Euora’s gaze. She was trying to decide how much of my story was baanthashit. </p>
<p>She didn’t make any kind of response. </p>
<p>Silence settled over the three of us. Ahobri was sitting patiently, hands resting in her lap. </p>
<p>“I can tell you about the first time I met Matthias,” I volunteered. </p>
<p>Euora glanced my way with a purposefully unreadable expression. </p>
<p>Running my mouth was an advantage for her. If I lost composure, bad-mouthing Matthias or revealing information about myself, it could only work in Euora’s favor. </p>
<p>At my side, Ahobri was ready to kill me. We had a solid chance of landing this deal, and I could fuck it all up by talking too much. </p>
<p>“I guess it isn’t too surprising that he doesn’t remember me,” I said, giving Euora a sly look, “We were at some big party, celebrating a joint mission our crews had pulled off together. Matthias spent the entire night trying to pull me into a threesome with him and his girl- Rhyssa, I think that was her name. The whole night he was all hands. He made sure that I didn’t stop drinking. I really wasn’t interested, especially once he got pushy about it. It’s funny the things men can forget…”</p>
<p>I was testing my limits with Euora. She just rolled her eyes and sighed. </p>
<p>Matthias was a womanizer. Everyone knew it. He had a reputation for fucking his crew, pretty girls coming and going every couple of cycles. </p>
<p>Euora had worked with him for five years. </p>
<p>She said she was his second in command, but she was out in the hallway watching two unarmed women while big decisions were being made behind closed doors. It had to be eating at her. </p>
<p>Silence settled over us again. </p>
<p>Ahobri was going to give me such a hard time once we were back aboard Rosie. </p>
<p>I stared out the windows into the delicately-colored clouds, and waited. </p>
<p>Finally, there was an alert on Euora’s comms. </p>
<p>We returned to the meeting room. I had a good feeling as I entered. </p>
<p>I scanned the room until my gaze landed on Tynne. </p>
<p>“We’ve decided to accept your deal, Siobhan,” he said. He offered me his gnarled hand, stained with t’bac and engine grease. </p>
<p>“I’m glad we’ll be working together again,” I replied with a smile. </p>
<p>“We’ll be keeping an eye on you,” Matthias added. </p>
<p>“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” I replied sweetly. </p>
<p>Euora was activating a console next to Matthias. </p>
<p>Ahobri returned to her seat. </p>
<p>“Let’s discuss your cut,” Tynne said, his arms folded over his chest, his hip resting against the edge of the table. </p>
<p>This was just a formality - the men must have decided on the number they were willing to agree on. </p>
<p>“I think that ten percent is fair,” I said. I had a smug smile and playful light in my eyes. </p>
<p>“Try again,” Tynne said, waving his hand to keep this moving along. </p>
<p>“My employer has access to a lot of information,” I countered, “And they don’t know what best suits the needs of the Smuggler’s Alliance. But I do. If they had it their way, they’d just give you intelligence on one big score and expect you to figure out the logistics. To keep the best information coming your way, I want seven percent, in cash.”</p>
<p>Tynne looked around at the group. </p>
<p>No one made any objections. </p>
<p>“Agreed,” Tynne replied. </p>
<p>I could feel Ahobri’s breath catch in her throat. We were almost sixty thousand credits richer. </p>
<p>“Now, we’ve decided on a few rules for our arrangement,” Tynne continued, “You can communicate with us individually, to provide intelligence. But the money comes through me and Matthias for the Smuggler’s Alliance each cycle. There will be no private exchanges of funds, no separate deals or offers made, and any changes will go through our Council, never an individual, you understand?”</p>
<p>“I understand,” I said with an easy nod. </p>
<p>I handed Tynne another datachip and we finished the transfer of credits and intelligence. </p>
<p>I did some salesmanship with the information. The ‘Alliance were getting reports on five companies in five different industries. I had a specific crew in mind for each job. It allowed me to show off what I knew, and also was flattering for each leader. </p>
<p>At the end, a servant brought in a decanter of whiskey, and we shared a drink. </p>
<p>My cut was delivered to me in a plain kit bag. I held onto it. </p>
<p>I shook hands afterwards. Verza clasped my hands in his moist gray ones, “Pleasure doing business with you, Siobhan.”</p>
<p>Arjun was much more casual. He put a heavy, clawed hand on my shoulder, “You made out alright this time.”</p>
<p>“I try my best,” I replied. </p>
<p>Our business was done. </p>
<p>It was time to go. </p>
<p>Euora was the one to escort Ahobri and I back to the hangar. She summoned over a crewmember, who returned my blaster. </p>
<p>“Well, it looks like you have enough money to get yourself a new ship,” Euora said, glancing over at Rosie. </p>
<p>Ahobri was walking up the ramp to the cargo bay. </p>
<p>“I don’t like to flash money around,” I replied easily, “It tends to attract the wrong kind of attention.”</p>
<p>Euora gave me a genuine smile, her arms crossed over her chest. </p>
<p>“There’s room in my crew,” I said, glancing her up and down. “You look like you’re a good fighter. Reliable. I pay well, and I make sure that my crew get a say in the decisions.”</p>
<p>Euora’s lips pressed together and she shook her head, amused by the bold offer. </p>
<p>“Anyways,” I said, hefting the kit bag full of credits over my shoulder, “Think about it. I expect we’ll be seeing more of each other these next few cycles.”</p>
<p>I strode towards Rosie, taking the ramp into the cargo bay. </p>
<p>Thess was warming the engines up. </p>
<p>I closed the cargo bay door and jogged to the cockpit. Ahobri wrapped me in a hug as I entered. </p>
<p>“We fucking did it!” she said, squeezing me tightly. </p>
<p>“Good news, yah?” Thess asked, taking us out of the hangar. </p>
<p>“I have fifty six thousand credits in this kit bag,” I answered with a wide grin. </p>
<p>“Siobhan, I thought that meeting was going to go sideways,” Ahobri said, still breathless with nerves, her eyes shining brightly, “And then you were giving Euora a hard time. I was about to strangle you.”</p>
<p>I laughed and kissed her cheek, “It all worked out in the end.”</p>
<p>“Girl, you had my heart racing. I thought everyone would be able to hear it.”</p>
<p>I took a seat in the copilot’s chair, pulling Ahobri into my lap. </p>
<p>“Thess, I need to make some calls, so just jump us a system over,” I said. </p>
<p>“Want fuel stop?” Thess asked, tapping the gauge. We had just crossed the halfway mark. </p>
<p>“Nah, we can make it to Bengat with what we got.”</p>
<p>Thess took us through atmosphere, then made hyperspace calculations for the next system over, where the Smuggler’s Alliance wouldn’t be watching. </p>
<p>“Anything happen while we were in the meeting?” I asked Thess, as we popped into the swirling blue.</p>
<p>“Nah,” she shook her head, “Quiet there.”</p>
<p>We emerged from hyperspace a few minutes later. </p>
<p>“I’ll let Ekene know we’re on the way,” Ahobri said, leaning forward to send a message. </p>
<p>I liked the watching the way Ahobri smiled as she typed. </p>
<p>“We should make a toast,” I said, “Celebrate the end of the assignment.” </p>
<p>“I brought along something for that,” Ahobri said as she sent the message to Ekene. </p>
<p>“Of course you did,” I grinned, giving her ass a friendly pat. </p>
<p>My responsibilities rose in my thoughts. “I need to make a couple of calls to the First Order,” I said. “How about you two open a bottle and I’ll join you in a few minutes?”</p>
<p>Ahobri stood up. </p>
<p>“I’ll take care of the hyperspace coordinates,” I added to Thess. </p>
<p>“Okay, don’t take too long,” Ahobri said. She gave me a kiss on the cheek as she left the cockpit, with Thess trailing after her. </p>
<p>My first call was to Ymir. </p>
<p>His handsome face appeared in my grainy console screen. It looked like he was on board his cruiser. </p>
<p>“How was it?” he asked. </p>
<p>“The Smuggler’s Alliance accepted my deal,” I said, projecting all of my confidence. </p>
<p>“Then it seems like you’ve completed your assignment,” Ymir said with approval, crossing his arms over his chest, “What do I need to know about the meeting?”</p>
<p>“They’ve already noticed some flyovers,” I replied, letting him hear my irritation, “Matthias told me his eyes and ears have seen TIE fighters from Bheriz to Pelgrin, and First Order cruisers hanging around in that territory for days.”</p>
<p>“I thought you said your strategy was airtight,” Ymir said. </p>
<p>Now I was honestly offended, “That wasn’t part of my strategy!” I said, letting him hear my outrage, “Hux and Ren are too impatient. They shouldn’t have approved any cruisers to move through that territory, especially not sitting around for days.”</p>
<p>“How did you handle that discussion during your negotiation?” Ymir asked, not responding to my anger. </p>
<p>“I acted surprised and disgusted, then suggested that the Smuggler’s Alliance reach out to a local Resistance base on Daluuj.”</p>
<p>“Oh, so you’re selling us out to the Resistance?” Ymir teased. </p>
<p>“I also told them that TIE fighters make good target practice,” I leered. </p>
<p>Ymir gave me a testy smile, “Since Kylo Ren and the Vice Admiral didn’t follow your instructions for the expansion strategy, you have my approval to explain the consequences of their impatience. In all seriousness, I expect you to alert them to any potential clashes with the Resistance forces in the Outer Rim.”</p>
<p>“I’ll do that,” I said. </p>
<p>“And your communication with Rajendra?” Ymir asked, giving me a knowing look. </p>
<p>“I was going to call him after this,” I replied, not allowing Ymir to see my uncertainty. </p>
<p>“Call me again after you meet with him,” Ymir said, “We’ll need to talk about your next assignment.”</p>
<p>Always more to look forward to.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” I replied, acting casual, “I’m going to give Raj the run-around as much as possible. I really don’t like the games him and Snoke are playing.”</p>
<p>“Of course you don’t,” Ymir said, lips curling in a wry smile. </p>
<p>I laughed, “I’m going to celebrate with Ekene for a few days. I’ll see you after.”</p>
<p>Ymir closed the line. </p>
<p>My next call was to the bridge of The Finalizer. </p>
<p>Hux answered. </p>
<p>“Madam Siniang,” he greeted, stiff and formal.</p>
<p>“Is Ren there?” I asked. </p>
<p>“Um, yes madam,” he replied. </p>
<p>“I need to speak with both of you about the expansion strategy,” I said, “You almost fucked up my deal with the Smuggler’s Alliance.”</p>
<p>The screen split, and Ren’s masked face appeared in a separate window next to Hux’s.</p>
<p>“We’ll take this call in the briefing room,” Ren growled. </p>
<p>The screen went dark for several moments. I looked out the windows of Rosie’s cockpit, tapping a finger on my arm. I would much prefer to be drinking with Ahobri and Thess. </p>
<p>When the videofeed resumed, Hux and Ren were standing near one another. </p>
<p>“What is it Siobhan?” Ren snapped. </p>
<p>Hux looked nervously between Ren and me. </p>
<p>“The Smuggler’s Alliance has noticed our ships making flyovers through the Outer Rim, along with a number of cruisers idling in their territories,” I said, jaw jutting forward. </p>
<p>“I only gave approval for transport ships just four days ago,” Ren said, his voice indignant through the audiofeed. </p>
<p>“Well, they noticed,” I said, “I had to spend a good chunk of the negotiation convincing them I’m not a First Order agent.”</p>
<p>“Well I know how much it pains you to lie…” Ren said. </p>
<p>I bristled. </p>
<p>Hux looked like he was about to crawl out of his skin as he watched us argue. </p>
<p>“This is a security risk to the First Order,” I replied, letting him see that I was angry, “The Smuggler’s Alliance is close with the Resistance. Matthias has the ear of Commander Reyes on Deluuj. I thought this operation was supposed to prioritize secrecy.”</p>
<p>Ren just stared at me, all chrome and black metal. </p>
<p>“I just spoke with Ymir about the situation,” I continued, taking on a more aloof posture, “If you want to start a war in the Outer Rim, be my guest. Otherwise, quit fucking with my plans.”</p>
<p>I closed the line before Ren could respond. </p>
<p>Two meetings down, one to go. </p>
<p>I was exhausted and glad we were headed to Ekene’s. I needed a few days to put my feet up and get my head straight again. I put together the hyperspace calculations for Bengat, procrastinating on calling Raj - I had made him wait for days now, a few more minutes wouldn’t change anything. </p>
<p>Ahobri and Thess were waiting for me. </p>
<p>When the calculations were ready, I called Raj’s line. </p>
<p>His blue-skinned Twi’lek, Thrall, answered. </p>
<p>“Madam Siniang,” she greeted, sweet and demure. </p>
<p>“Thrall, it’s good to see you,” I replied, giving her a genuine smile. </p>
<p>She had been the most enjoyable part of my time aboard Raj’s yacht. </p>
<p>“Thank you, madam,” Thrall said, prim and impersonal, “Master Juall will be here in a moment. Would you please wait?”</p>
<p>“Of course.”</p>
<p>The screen went dark. </p>
<p>I sat in my cockpit, idling in open space. </p>
<p>Raj’s face appeared in my console screen. </p>
<p>The man was gorgeous: high cheekbones, piercing eyes, and white hair, expertly slicked back. “Darling,” he greeted, “I was about to lose my patience with you.”</p>
<p>I grinned. “Raj, you’ll make a girl blush,” I teased. </p>
<p>“I have something very special planned for us, but it’s rather time-sensitive,” Raj said. </p>
<p>“Do I get to know what it is?” I asked. </p>
<p>“You’ll find out in a few days,” Raj replied, “Will you come with me?”</p>
<p>This was the time for me to take my stance. </p>
<p>“Well, I don’t find myself with many options,” I said, keeping up my breezy act, “Snoke blackmailed me into going, and Ymir insists I go with you, so it doesn’t seem like I have much of a choice.”</p>
<p>Raj gave me a long thoughtful look, the bridge of his nose tensing, the corners of his mouth just barely turning down, “I’m surprised to hear that Lord Ymir is encouraging our meeting. The last time we spoke, he gave me a very stern warning to stay away from you.”</p>
<p>I shrugged, “I think it’s a ‘keep your enemies close’ kind of decision,” I said, “But, hey, I’m like you, I don’t like my hand being forced, even if it’s something I wanted to do. It brings out my rebellious side.”</p>
<p>I was blatantly quoting back his response to Ymir during a First Order council meeting. </p>
<p>“Then I’ll have to make it up to you,” Raj teased, “I’ll have a shuttle sent for you in two days. Where are you staying?”</p>
<p>“No, that’s not how we’re going to play it,” I replied, shaking my head, “Where are we meeting?”</p>
<p>“Hm,” Raj sniffed, “Well, let me think about that. You won’t let me send one of my shuttles for you? I was planning on sending a few of my girls along to keep you company.”</p>
<p>I made a curling smile at the offer, “I’d prefer to fly myself. I’m still breaking Sawai in.”</p>
<p>“Then I’ll contact you in a day with the arrangements,” Raj said. </p>
<p>“Bye, love,” I replied, and closed the line. </p>
<p>
  <b>V</b>
</p>
<p>The flight to Bengat was blessedly free of worry. </p>
<p>Thess and Ahobri were waiting for me at the kitchen table with a bottle of fizzy alcohol. We toasted and drank with the knowledge that our work was over, at least for the near future. </p>
<p>We started a game of cards around the kitchen table. I didn’t cheat, even as we found both ourselves losing hand after hand to Thess. </p>
<p>“Girl, where the fuck did you learn to play cards?” Ahobri jokingly complained as she lost her fifth showdown. </p>
<p>“Nothing else we do on long flight,” Thess said with a grin, “Auntie, Uncle, brother, sister, all tough.”</p>
<p>“Your lucky streak seems to have cooled off,” Ahobri said to me as I shuffled the deck. </p>
<p>“I don’t cheat at cards when I’m with friends,” I said with a wink. </p>
<p>“So, back on Dandoran, that was one of your magic tricks?” Ahobri asked, pouring us all another round from the bottle on the table. </p>
<p>“Could be,” I replied, nonchalantly. </p>
<p>“Don’t cheat,” Thess scolded me, brows drawing together. </p>
<p>“Not with you,” I said, “I think you’d catch me, Force or not.”</p>
<p>“I would catch,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. </p>
<p>I began to deal a fresh hand. </p>
<p>“So what were you saying to Euora? Were you trying to recruit her?” Ahobri asked, picking up her cards from the table and giving them a peek. </p>
<p>“I was.”</p>
<p>Ahobri shook her head, “I can’t imagine she was happy to hear that.”</p>
<p>“It’ll give her something to think about,” I replied. </p>
<p>“Looking to add a hired gun?” Ahobri asked. </p>
<p>“I’m thinking about the house. I need some people that know how to fight. We’ll need hired security, regardless, but having our own muscle is a good idea.”</p>
<p>“And what would you have done if she said yes?” Ahobri continued. </p>
<p>“I dunno,” I shrugged, glancing at my cards, “Come back for her next cycle?”</p>
<p>“Siobhan,” Ahobri said, letting me hear your exasperation, “Do you really think you could hide the fact that you’re part of the First Order?”</p>
<p>I paused, looking up at Ahobri. She had her arms crossed. </p>
<p>Thess put her cards face down on the table. </p>
<p>“I mean, probably not, but there’s always a way…” I said. </p>
<p>“They almost have it figured out,” Ahobri replied, giving me a serious look, “We know they talked with the Resistance, is that going to cause us problems?”</p>
<p>“They’re close, but not close enough,” I said, taking a drink, “Even if the Resistance knows I’m not dead, it doesn’t do anything to us. I survived a battle, and deserted, now I’m back to smuggling. No one is going to look into it.”</p>
<p>Thess was watching us closely. </p>
<p>Ahobri relented, “Okay, I just didn’t like Matthias’ questions, especially when he talked about the First Order.”</p>
<p>“I just took care of that problem,” I replied, “Ren wasn’t following my instructions. I just yelled at him and Hux about it.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>We played more hands and drank more wine, chatting easily as we sat around the table. </p>
<p>As we drank, Ahobri became very excited about the house plans. She wanted to talk through details. I encouraged her, nodding along as she worked through the problem. </p>
<p>Sul was interested in dealing under the table. I had a feeling that Verza had buttered me up because he wanted to do the same. </p>
<p>I’d have a house. I wanted these men to come to me, so I could stop running around the Mid- and Outer Rim like a fucking courier. </p>
<p>Ahobri was right, the biggest issue would be hiding my true identity as a Sith, an agent of the First Order.</p>
<p>As she talked through the plans, Ahobri asked for my input, but it sounded like she had put a lot of thought into this project. I nodded along and agreed with her. </p>
<p>Thess was completely out of her depth through the conversation. She focused on winning our money, which she continued to do.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>We arrived on the nighttime side of Bengat,  a lush, heavily-forested, tropical planet.</p>
<p>The place was known as a refuge for the fabulously wealthy. I had my First Order signature engaged, and cleared Rosie through the planet’s security. There had been some communication from Ekene’s house. We were expected. </p>
<p>Ekene lived at the edge of a major city, his home built into the trees alongside a large river that created the boundary of the town. </p>
<p>In the dark, it was hard to make out his house,  but I noticed lights twinkling along a  stretch of trees by the riverbanks. </p>
<p>A droid directed us down to a large landing pad built into the side of a tree. </p>
<p>Uniformed servants were waiting to take our bags. A Twi’lek attendant was there to greet us and introduce us to the house. </p>
<p>From the landing pad, I could already hear laughter and music, the sounds of a party. </p>
<p>With servants carrying our bags, Ahobri, Thess, and I were whisked into the house. It was bursting with color and life. The exterior walls were made of glass, each floor lined with vine covered terraces. The rugs on the floors were splashy shades of magenta, yellow, and green. The interior walls and ceilings were covered in hand painted frescoes. </p>
<p>As we strode through the halls, Thess gaped and craned her head like a tourist. </p>
<p>The attendant gave us the introductions as we walked: Ekene would be informed of our arrival; the party and guests were mainly on the upper three floors of the building; there were servants ready to prepare us, they were on call to take care of our clothes and make-up. </p>
<p>We had a suite of rooms, all right next to each other, with doors connecting them. Each space had its own master bedroom and bathroom. There were shared offices and sitting rooms. </p>
<p>The Twi’lek woman poured us all wine, and walked us through the space. She summoned attendants to dress us for the party</p>
<p>Thess was completely out of her element as a female Gran set to work, plucking her eyebrows and shaping her nails. </p>
<p>“Just relax,” I urged Thess. She sat stiffly in a chair in my bedroom, her feet just barely scraping the floor. </p>
<p>“You hire me pilot. Not… I don’t know... this,” Thess said, watching as the woman put a coat of clear varnish on her nails. </p>
<p>“Sweetheart, just let them do their work,” Ahobri encouraged, choosing between five different dresses she had laid out on my bed. </p>
<p>We were ready within the hour. </p>
<p>Ahobri wanted to impress Ekene. She was in a very short, glittering, gold dress. On her upper arms she wore the silver filigree bands I had given her. She had on a pair of tall glossy-black heels. </p>
<p>I was dressed more plainly, in a simple black silk dress that plunged low in the front, leaving my arms bare. I left my hair loose. The attendant had teased more volume in it, so it waved elegantly around my face and over my shoulders. I wore gold jewelry and bangles. </p>
<p>Thess was in the same outfit she had worn out to the club on Artrix. The simple black mantle, her shaved head, and the well-tailored drape brought her features out. Her yellowish eyes were striking in her small face. </p>
<p>When the attendant was done with her, Thess stood by idly, pulling at the hem of the green drape, scuffing her boots against the rug. </p>
<p>Ahobri was in a chair in my bathroom, an attendant finishing her make-up. </p>
<p>I was sitting on the bed, drinking wine, watching Thess wait anxiously for whatever was coming next. </p>
<p>“None of us were raised with this,” I said, looking at the girl. </p>
<p>Thess stopped moving and met my eyes. </p>
<p>“Me, Ahobri, none of us ever had this stuff when we were growing up,” I told her, gesturing around the room. “I know you’re not used to this, but you don’t need to worry so much. No one thinks you’re out of place. You look beautiful.”</p>
<p>“But…” Thess began, scuffing her heel again, spots of color in her cheeks. </p>
<p>“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” I told her, “You can stay in here and watch as grav-ball if you want, but I hate seeing you all nervous just because you can have something nice.”</p>
<p>Thess looked at me for a few moments. I was captivated by her wide pale gaze. </p>
<p>She walked over and took a seat next to me on the bed, resting her head against my arm. </p>
<p>“Thank you…” she said, her voice was soft. </p>
<p>I put a friendly arm around her, squeezing her narrow shoulders, “You should do whatever you feel like. If you don’t like the clothes and make-up you can tell us to shove it.”</p>
<p>“You can tell Siobhan to shove it,” Ahobri quipped from the bathroom. </p>
<p>Thess laughed. </p>
<p>The attendant was done with Ahobri’s make-up, and she was climbing into her heels, giving her ass a little shake for the mirror. </p>
<p>“I’m ready!” Ahobri announced. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>An attendant escorted us to the upper floor. </p>
<p>Servants made sure we had drinks in our hands - fruity things in decorative glasses. </p>
<p>We found ourselves in a crush of wealthy people on the patio of a canopy rooftop. Little orbs of light glittered in the wide leaves overhead. </p>
<p>Above us, the sky was dark and star-studded. </p>
<p>Ekene was in a large circle of friends. </p>
<p>“Ahobri! Siobhan!” he greeted, raising an arm as he spotted us.</p>
<p>“Ekene!” Ahobri said with a wide smile, quickly mincing her way towards him in her very high heels.</p>
<p>We made our way across the small crowd. </p>
<p>“This is my pilot, Thess,” I introduced, “Thess, this is Ekene Duru. He owns this place.”</p>
<p>“I remember you from earlier,” Ekene said, shaking her hand, “I remember your tattoos. I would have guessed you were Siobhan’s bodyguard.”</p>
<p>Thess blushed furiously. She was spared by the darkness. </p>
<p>Ekene looked better than I remembered from our last conversation. He was clean-shaven now. This time he was wearing a shirt, but I did notice that he was barefoot. </p>
<p>We were introduced around the circle. </p>
<p>I drank and made idle conversation with Ekene’s friends, sticking by Thess to help her feel more comfortable.</p>
<p>Ekene had Ahobri pulled close to him all night, his arm around her shoulders or her waist. </p>
<p>After a few drinks I decided to dance, and Thess joined me for a couple of songs. </p>
<p>I liked the way Thess moved. It reminded me of the summer and harvest festivals on Tevel. She traced her way through intricate rhythmic patterns of steps, making adjustments for the dance music the band was playing. I followed along with her. </p>
<p>We stood out in the crush of people drunkenly grinding and swaying around us. </p>
<p>Thess patted my arm to let me know she was leaving. </p>
<p>I stayed on, taking the drinks that people offered, taking the hand of whoever wanted to dance with me. </p>
<p>I left the floor with sweat sticking my hair to my face, running down my back. </p>
<p>This planet was humid. It was almost like I could feel the forest exhaling sweet, sticky air. </p>
<p>I grabbed another drink and pulled up to an empty spot on the patio railing. </p>
<p>My head was swimming. </p>
<p>Around me, people were kissing, laughing, arguing, flirting. </p>
<p>I felt lonely. </p>
<p>It was a sharp pang in my heart, cutting through the alcohol. </p>
<p>I leaned against the railing, pulling in the deepest breath I could. </p>
<p>Why did I feel lonely? </p>
<p>I had my crew. I was surrounded by friends. I had just completed my assignment - in less than a cycle I had brought two Hutt families and the Smuggler’s Alliance under control of the First Order. I was worried about what lay ahead. </p>
<p>I could still feel Ymir’s hand on my cheek as he offered me a way out. </p>
<p>Take his side, and give up my plans for revenge… The only goal that had shaped my life, until now. </p>
<p>I turned from the balcony, grabbed the first drink I could, and returned to the party. </p>
<p>I continued drinking, joining different groups of artists and heirs to rich families. I amazed them with my fabricated stories of danger and fights, creating tales cobbled together from different parts of my life. </p>
<p>Ahobri and Ekene found me. We danced together. </p>
<p>Even being close to them, it still felt so stale. </p>
<p>When Ekene and Ahobri found something else to distract them, I wandered away towards our rooms. </p>
<p>I was very drunk. I needed to keep an arm against the wall for support. </p>
<p>I took my heels off, holding them in my hand before allowing them to drop, discarding them carelessly in the hallway. </p>
<p>Emotions tangled in my chest. Being drunk only made it worse. </p>
<p>I got back to the rooms and discovered that I was the only person there. Even Thess was still out having a good time. </p>
<p>I pulled off my dress and slumped down onto the floor, my back resting against the edge of the bed. </p>
<p>Raj was going to ask me to join Snoke’s coup against Ymir. </p>
<p>Ymir had told me to agree, no matter what I truly felt. </p>
<p>I didn’t know what I felt. </p>
<p>Tears began flowing down my cheeks and I didn’t even know what I was crying about. </p>
<p>It felt like I had a knot in my heart. </p>
<p>I pushed myself up and stumbled into the shower, allowing water to pour over me, steam rising. </p>
<p>When I was done I sloppily toweled myself off, leaving a second towel wrapped around my hair. </p>
<p>I fell into the large bed, feeling empty and lost. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The next morning, I woke with a throbbing headache. My mouth felt like it was full of sand. </p>
<p>There was a console next to the bed. I called someone up for water and a hangover cure. </p>
<p>A short Ugnaught was up in less than five minutes. </p>
<p>I swallowed the pill, drank my water, and fell back into the pillows. </p>
<p>After half an hour, I was feeling significantly better. </p>
<p>There was still the hollow ache in my chest, following me through the night and into the morning. </p>
<p>I pulled up the console again and asked where Ekene’s room was. </p>
<p>There was the slightest hesitation from the servant who answered, until I reminded them of my name. </p>
<p>Ekene was three floors from the top. </p>
<p>I pulled on an undershirt and leggings, and threw on one of Ahobri’s flowery robes. </p>
<p>Thess was in the sitting room, asleep on the sofa. She was still dressed in her outfit from the night before. Her boots were on the ground. She was breathing loudly, drooling on her arm. </p>
<p>I found a blanket and dropped it over the girl. She didn’t even notice, her breathing didn’t change.</p>
<p>I wound my way up two floors, using the external terraces. </p>
<p>The planet was dazzling. </p>
<p>Two suns hung in the sky; the larger one was orange; the smaller one was green-tinted. </p>
<p>This place was bursting with life. I heard animal calls from the trees. The vines that wound along the terraces were covered in purple blossoms. </p>
<p>Ekene’s rooms were just as lively as the rest of the house. </p>
<p>A servant came up to me as I stepped into the entryway - it was a beautiful little atrium filled with plants and sculptures along the wall.</p>
<p>I gave the servant my name and asked if Ekene was still in bed. They pointed me to the bedroom. </p>
<p>I found Ahobri and Ekene in a massive wooden bed. There was a breezy white canopy draped above them.</p>
<p>I crawled under the covers and found Ahobri first. </p>
<p>She was snoring, peaceful and cozy in the blankets. She didn’t move at all as I approached her. </p>
<p>Ekene was within arm’s reach. </p>
<p>“Siobhan?” he asked groggily, turning over. </p>
<p>“It’s me,” I said. </p>
<p>“I wondered where you had gone,” Ekene said, pulling me towards him. </p>
<p>He was very warm. His breath was sour. </p>
<p>“I didn’t feel like partying last night,” I replied, keeping my voice down. </p>
<p>“Hmm…” Ekene sighed close to my ear. </p>
<p>I liked the feeling of his arm around me, his well-muscled chest rising and falling against me with his breath. </p>
<p>We dozed together, the morning stretching long. </p>
<p>“Is that you, Siobhan?” Ahobri asked, as she rolled over. </p>
<p>“It’s me, love,” I said, reaching a hand out to her. </p>
<p>Wakefulness came in fits and starts. </p>
<p>Ekene began running his hands along me - down my waist, the slight curve of my hip. Eventually, he was tugging at my clothes, a sleepy exploration. </p>
<p>I slowly removed my robe, undershirt, and leggings, the clothes disappearing into the sheets. </p>
<p>Ekene’s hands travelled up, gently squeezing my breasts. He was slow and patient, teasing my nipples. </p>
<p>Heat spread along me until I was softly moaning under his touch. I arched against him. I could feel his hard cock against my ass. </p>
<p>He made me wait, his thumbs brushing against my nipples, circling the barbells. </p>
<p>I sighed with pleasure, leaning against him - his smooth muscular chest. </p>
<p>Our sex began sweet and lazy, Ekene spooning me. We fucked on our sides. </p>
<p>I was wet, aching for closeness. I cried out as he filled me, squeezing his large cock. </p>
<p>Ekene was grunting and groaning, his breath tickling my ear. </p>
<p>When he wanted more, he scooped me onto my back, driving deep inside of me. </p>
<p>Ahobri was beginning to wake, sleepily reaching out for both of us. </p>
<p>I gasped and cried out as Ekene filled me. He was thrusting faster, his locs swaying as he moved. </p>
<p>My orgasm caught me by surprise - a sudden wave that surged and broke inside of me. </p>
<p>I was shouting, curling an arm around Ekene’s shoulders, holding him tightly. </p>
<p>He growled and I felt him pulsing inside of me as I throbbed around him. </p>
<p>“Gods!” he gasped, jaw clenched. </p>
<p>He sat upright, giving my thigh an appreciative pat. </p>
<p>Ahobri was reaching for him, “Do you have anything left for me?” she asked. </p>
<p>Ekene made a greedy bark of a laugh, “Darling, I always have something left for you,” he said, climbing on top of her. </p>
<p>Ahobri adjusted, resting her head in my lap. I ran my hands down her headtails, helping to make her come while Ekene fucked her silly. </p>
<p>After Ekene came for the second time, he collapsed on top of both of us, giddy and sweating. </p>
<p>“I love having both of you in my bed,” he said, planting kisses on both of our cheeks. </p>
<p>I wriggled underneath him, playfully pushing on his wide shoulder, “I was actually coming in to get you out of bed,” I said. </p>
<p>Ekene rolled off to the side, wrapping Ahobri in his arms. </p>
<p>“Ahobri, is it okay if I steal Ekene for a little while?” I asked. </p>
<p>“Do I get a choice?” Ekene replied. </p>
<p>“You can take him,” Ahobri said, turning to give Ekene a kiss. </p>
<p>I got Ekene out of bed. He pulled on a simple lounging outfit while I hunted down my clothes from his bedsheets. </p>
<p>We left the room </p>
<p>“What did you want to talk about?” he asked as we strode through the halls. </p>
<p>“I need to talk about the First Order, and Ymir.”</p>
<p>“Let’s go to the roof, then.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I took a shady spot on the patio railing. </p>
<p>Just hours ago this place had been packed, filled with people drinking and dancing. The servants had already cleaned the place up; there wasn’t a single glass left out, and all the furniture had been rearranged. We had the place to ourselves.</p>
<p>I looked out into the forest surrounding me, listening to chirps and animal cries echoing through the canopy. The air was already starting to feel hot. </p>
<p>Ekene joined me, leaning his arms heavily on the metal bars. </p>
<p>We were silent for many minutes together. </p>
<p>He was the first one to speak, “I’ve never seen you brood before,” he said, kindly teasing me, “What’s the matter?”</p>
<p>“This place is beautiful,” I replied, dodging the question. I gazed up at the giant leaves overhead, appreciating the dappled sunlight on my skin. </p>
<p>“How did your meeting with Ymir go?” Ekene asked. </p>
<p>It was a while before I responded. I knew I couldn’t tell Ekene everything. There was no one who knew the whole story. I only gave people bits and pieces, the narrative that helped me. The lies came easily, automatically. </p>
<p>“I thought that Ymir was just planning on yelling at me. It wasn’t what I expected,” I began.</p>
<p>“Did I tell you Raj had a ship made for me?” I asked, with forced breeziness, “It’s a custom job, straight from Juall Industries.”</p>
<p>“You’re joking.”</p>
<p>“I’m not,” I replied, “It was a surprise, Raj had it delivered to the Base.”</p>
<p>Ekene was shaking his head, fighting an amused smile, “Lord Ymir must have been upset…” </p>
<p>“He was,” I confirmed, “So he’s pissed that I was able to hide Ahobri from him, and he’s pissed that Raj is courting me.”</p>
<p>“It looks like you made it out alright,” Ekene said, pushing his locs back from his face, “What are you doing about all of this?”</p>
<p>My tears came on without warning, spilling over my lower lids before I could stop them. </p>
<p>“I don’t know,” I said, my throat tight. </p>
<p>Ekene was caught off guard at the sudden emotion. </p>
<p>“Siobhan…” he said, pulling me towards him. </p>
<p>I sucked in a couple deep breaths, not wanting to be like this. </p>
<p>“Let’s meditate,” Ekene suggested. </p>
<p>I nodded, wiping at my eyes with the heel of my hand.</p>
<p>We took a seat on the white stone floor of the patio. </p>
<p>My breaths were short. It took many inhales and exhales to allow myself to sink into the Force. </p>
<p>I could feel Ekene next to me, and I guided him down, <i>reaching</i> for the Darkside. It was so close beneath me, and I extended a hand to <i>touch</i> it. </p>
<p>“Gods…” I heard Ekene murmur, in awe of the sensation. </p>
<p>His awareness wasn’t as strong as mine. He couldn’t reach out to the Force as easily, so I guided him there.</p>
<p>My heart was filled with uncertainty and doubt. In this space, Ekene could feel it. </p>
<p>I was open to his pain as well. </p>
<p>We were both lonely and wounded. </p>
<p>I allowed Ekene to feel the change in me, the hesitation in my intention to kill Ymir. </p>
<p>Darkness growled and keened around us, feeding itself on my conflict. </p>
<p>Ekene was the one to pull us out of the meditation. </p>
<p>“Siobhan…” he said, gently taking hold of my upper arm, “You’re thinking of giving it up?”</p>
<p>“I am,” I nodded, wiping at my eyes again. </p>
<p>This was a cynical move, allowing Ekene to feel my uncertainty, my wavering heart.</p>
<p>“Raj is asking me to meet with him,” I continued, “Snoke is putting pressuring on me to follow through, and Ymir said I should meet with Raj and accept his offer.”</p>
<p>There was light in Ekene’s eyes, “Remember when you were bored on the Estate, waiting to see some action?”</p>
<p>I barked a laugh, biting my lower lip afterwards, “I’m going to be meeting with Raj in a couple of days. He says he has something planned to impress me.”</p>
<p>“Oh I’m sure he does,” Ekene said, arching an eyebrow. </p>
<p>“Ekene, I need your help,” I said, gazing seriously into his dark brown eyes, “I’ve been thinking about Ahobri, about what you said… I want to know if there’s a way to keep her safe, give her some way to escape if this all goes to shit.”</p>
<p>Ekene matched my demeanor as I spoke, growing more thoughtful. He was silent, giving me space. </p>
<p>“It’s just…” I took a breath, “I’ve only ever had to look out for myself before, I’ve never had anyone depending on me. I’ve never had anything to lose before.”</p>
<p>I was reminded of my conversation with Ymir, all that time ago, as we made the long flight to Korriban. </p>
<p>Ymir had asked what I was giving up to train in the Darkside. At the time, I didn’t have an answer for him. I didn’t have any money. The only clothes I had were ones that the First Order had given me. I didn’t have a family. </p>
<p>Now I did. I had a crew of my own. I had money. I had real responsibilities. For the very first time, my actions had an effect on the world. </p>
<p>Ekene put a hand on my knee, “I’m glad to see that you’ve started thinking ahead,” he said, “There are options for keeping Ahobri safe, but I need you to understand that not every solution is nice, and none of them can be perfect. You are working with some of the most dangerous men in the Galaxy.”</p>
<p>“But there are ways to do it?” I said, resting my hand over Ekene’s. </p>
<p>He nodded, “I can start those conversations with her.”</p>
<p>“Thanks,” I said, “It’s been keeping me up at night. I don’t ever want Ahobri to be hurt because of something I did.”</p>
<p>Ekene gave me a warm smile, “It makes me glad to see that First Order life hasn’t made you lose your heart.”</p>
<p>I shook my head, letting out a sigh, “I’m doing my best to keep my distance from The Finalizer,” I said, “One of the last times I saw Ren, he wanted me to go with him to hunt down Luke Skywalker. It’s fucking madness, all of it.”</p>
<p>“So you have approval to start a house of your own?” Ekene said, re-focusing me.</p>
<p>“That’s the other thing I wanted to talk to you about,” I said. </p>
<p>“What do you need?” he asked. </p>
<p>“I don’t know anything about setting up a place,” I said. </p>
<p>Ekene couldn’t stop himself from laughing at me. </p>
<p>I ignored hime, “What I need is to stay anonymous. I need to have security, servants, droids. A fucking staff…”</p>
<p>“You expect me to help with this project?” Ekene said, beginning to protest. </p>
<p>“I mean, you’ve been partying for weeks now. It’s going to get old at some point,” I teased, “This will be a good distraction for you.”</p>
<p>Ekene gave my cheek a couple firm pats with his large hand, “That is not how you ask nicely.”</p>
<p>I laughed, pushing his hand away, “Ahobri already knows what she wants. She’s in charge of my money. She knows what I need, but she just doesn’t have experience with something on this scale.”</p>
<p>“So it sounds like you’re not going to be involved in the set-up?” Ekene clarified. </p>
<p>“I’m getting dragged off on this thing with Raj. I don’t know what my next assignment is going to be. I thought you and Ahobri could run off for a few days and get this thing started,” I told him. </p>
<p>“Oh Siobhan…” Ekene said. </p>
<p>“Say you’ll help me,” I encouraged, “You’re the only person I trust to do this.”</p>
<p>He made a heavy sigh, “All right. I’ll help Ahobri set up a house for you.”</p>
<p>I wrapped Ekene in a tight hug, kissing his cheek. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>When we returned to Ekene’s rooms, Ahobri was up, eating breakfast. There was plenty of food for the three of us. </p>
<p>I dug in gratefully, helping myself to sweets and fruit. <br/>I called Thess up to join us. </p>
<p>She was grumbling and hungover initially, but, after taking a hangover cure and getting some food in her, she became much more friendly. </p>
<p>It took a while for Ekene to get used to Thess’ unusual mannerisms and bad Galactic Standard, but he began warming up to her. </p>
<p>Over breakfast we decided on a plan. </p>
<p>I left Raj’s name out of it, but I told Ahobri and Thess that I had First Order business to attend to soon. </p>
<p>Thess would fly me out to Artrix so I could pick up Sawai. </p>
<p>Ahobri would stay with Ekene. They’d leave shortly to start searching for a house. I’d be leaving her with most of my physical currency and the datachips that linked to my personal First Order account. Ekene would help Ahobri organize my finances. </p>
<p>I knew that I’d have to meet with Raj alone. I wouldn’t need Thess after she dropped me off on Artrix. </p>
<p>“Thess, you should go visit your family,” I said, as I thought about it. </p>
<p>She looked up at me, gratitude in her large eyes. </p>
<p>“Yeah, you can use Rosie,” I continued, “Take a few days. Go visit your mom. I’ll give you some money for your family.”</p>
<p>“Thank you…” she said, and I liked hearing the joy in her voice. </p>
<p>With our plans decided, we emerged from the room, joining the party that had started again. </p>
<p>I loved seeing the way Ahobri and Ekene enjoyed each other, the kind ways that he touched her, gazed at her. </p>
<p>Thess was talking more as she met Ekene’s friends, emboldened by her recent experiences. </p>
<p>I drank, danced, and enjoyed myself. </p>
<p>For the first time in weeks, I dared to hope.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Siobhan successfully completed her assignment. She has the Hutts and the Smuggler's Alliance taking instructions from the First Order. </p>
<p>In our next chapter, we'll see if Siobhan chooses to work with Raj and Snoke, or if she will declare her full loyalty to Ymir. </p>
<p>We'll be seeing a lot more action in these next few chapters. There are some really cool events that I can't wait to share. </p>
<p>Thanks so much to everyone reading this story. I always look forward to hearing from you in the comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Nova</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Siobhan has successfully completed her assignment for the First Order. The Hutts and the Smuggler’s Alliance are now under their control, thinking that they’ve gone into business with a Syndicate.</p><p>She’s starting to accept more responsibility for her actions, taking active steps to protect and support her friends. </p><p>She’s considering giving up her plans for revenge. </p><p>In this chapter, she must make that decision for herself, and her relationship with the Darkside changes.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>For anyone looking for more stuff to read/ Star Wars gifs/ bad photography of good food, you can find me on <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/andromeda-rising-897">Tumblr</a> and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/andromeda.rising">Instagram</a>.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>I</b>
</p><p>We were headed in three separate directions. </p><p>Ahobri and Ekene were headed off to buy me a house. I felt good about leaving Ahobri with Ekene. He would able to keep her safe. He was smitten with her. </p><p>I was leaving to meet up with Raj. </p><p>Thess would be taking Rosie to visit her family back on Fedje. She’d dropped me on Artrix so I could take Sawai to meet with Raj.</p><p>We had a six hour jump from Bengat to Artrix. </p><p>I was starting to feel better. I just might have things under control, for now at least. </p><p>“You know interesting friends,” Thess said, as we passed time in the kitchen playing Sabac.</p><p>I laughed. </p><p>“Meet anyone you liked?” I asked. </p><p>“Loud boy on Artrix,” she said after a moment of serious thought. </p><p>“Oh, I think you’ll be seeing more of him,” I said, laying down a card. For once, I was winning. “Soon, we are not going to be running around in this ship. I’m going to make people come to me.”</p><p>“Your house?”</p><p>“Yeah, I am going to have a home base,” I replied, “You heard Ahobri. She already has the whole damn thing planned out.”</p><p>Thess laughed, a dimple appearing in her cheek. </p><p>She grew more serious afterwards, “Thank you, for visit family and money.”</p><p>I was going to give her a thousand credits to pass along. It would take care of them for a long time. </p><p>“Of course,” I said, hating her level of gratitude, “I’m glad to help.”</p><p>We continued to play our card game. </p><p>“You don’t talk family,” Thess said. </p><p>I looked up at her, caught off guard by the question, “Huh?”</p><p>“Never talk family,” Thess repeated. </p><p>Her yellow-ish eyes were hypnotizing. I felt pinned to the spot whenever she looked at me like that. </p><p>“There’s not much to talk about,” I said, after giving it some thought, “I left my mother and brother when I was sixteen. And you know what happened to my dad.”</p><p>Thess gave me a thoughtful look, considering my answer. “You left them?”</p><p>It stung more than I expected. I felt a flash of anger in response. Who was she to say that?</p><p>But I stopped myself. </p><p>“Yeah, I left them,” I said, “It wasn’t the right choice.”</p><p>Thess thought about my answer, expression shifting as she made up her mind, “Must be hurting.”</p><p>“Whenever I think about it,” I replied. </p><p>We continued to play through the hand. Thess was churning through something in her mind. I watched the emotions flicker across her face. </p><p>“I think you good friend,” she finally said. </p><p>I thought about Vin, Ahobri, my fellow soldiers I had given up, all the people I had betrayed. “Not everyone thinks that,” I said with a grimace. </p><p>Thess tilted her head, surprised by my response, “You feeling bad?”</p><p>My laugh was sharp, “Yeah, you could say that.”</p><p>“You tough. Like family. Keep going,” Thess said. </p><p>“I sure hope so,” I replied. </p><p>***</p><p>In the final stretch of hyperspace I had a sit-down with Thess in the cockpit. </p><p>We needed to have a final conversation about her shore leave. Raj was having me meet him in the middle of nowhere. I would be gone for at least four days. After that, I didn’t know if Ymir would have new orders for me, or where I would be going. </p><p>Thess had at least four days to visit with her family. We had a vague plan for her to meet me back on Artrix, but I’d confirm that later. </p><p>We were sitting in the cockpit. I had my kitbag at my feet.<br/>
I started off the conversation on an easy note.</p><p>“Before you head out. I need you to swing by the apartment, and drop some money off for Koval and Dreks,” I said, “Let them know we’re going to be gone for a few days… we really only need one guard, so if Dreks wants to go and work security at The Outpost, he can do that, if he wants to.”</p><p>Thess gave me a nod. </p><p>I paused, making sure I had her full attention. “So I need you to understand just how much trust I’m putting in you,” I said, allowing myself to be more serious. </p><p>“Me fly alone,” Thess replied. </p><p>I nodded, “I’m giving you my personal ship to go off and visit your family. You have access to my comms. You have a lot of information about the First Order,” I continued. </p><p>“Not say anything,” Thess promised. </p><p>“Well, you’re going to tell your family something,” I replied with the beginnings of a smile, “Do you know what your story is?”</p><p>Now Thess turned from me, expression pinched together, “I say pilot training…” she began, “Then I meet officer. Pay well. Shore leave.”</p><p>“Do you expect anyone in your family to be asking more questions?”</p><p>“Maybe,” Thess answered, “But tell, no can say.”</p><p>I didn’t like Thess having to lie to her family, deflecting the same way I did. </p><p>I was so tired of the secrets. I had never been an honest woman, but now I was discovering my limits. </p><p>“That’s right,” I said to Thess, “I want you to stay off my comms. You should keep Rosie on her New Republic signatures. If I have any updates, I’ll contact you through that line.”</p><p>Ymir would be so pissed if he knew I was letting Thess fly off in my ship, completely unsupervised. But her family meant so much to her. She’d just be twiddling her thumbs on Artrix. </p><p>Thess took me down to Sawai’s garage. She had a thousand credits in small notes and in a mix of currencies to pass along to her family. </p><p>We parted ways with hugs and a final promise of secrecy. I had my kitbag with me, packed with some of the clothes, make-up, and jewelry I had taken to Ekene’s. </p><p>I also was bringing my lightsabers and a blaster. There was no way I’d be meeting with Raj unarmed. </p><p>When I dropped into Sawai’s cockpit, I took a moment to sprawl in the captain’s seat. </p><p>For the first time in days, I was completely alone. </p><p>After being around people for so long, the absence of sound pressed loudly in my ears. </p><p>I took a few breaths, leaning my head against the chair. </p><p>Eventually, I pulled up Raj’s last message. </p><p>I would be returning to the Unknown Regions. This time, I had over forty hours in hyperspace to look forward to. I’d be travelling far beyond Starkiller Base, into places that were only talked about in legends and myths. Places where giant monsters and ghosts were said to live. </p><p>It was easy to imagine that Raj and Snoke had something sinister planned for me. I had no idea where I was going, why Raj was bringing me into the middle of nowhere. </p><p>He had offered to send a shuttle and his women to entertain me. Now I was regretting telling him no. </p><p>I had a long and lonely journey ahead. </p><p>I brought Sawai online. I planned to refuel on the first leg of the trip. </p><p>Honestly, she could probably do the whole thing without needing a top-off, but this would give me some leeway in case something unexpected happened. </p><p>I wouldn’t be going into this half-cocked. </p><p>I sent a line to Ahobri and Ekene, telling them I was leaving Artrix and would be out of contact for a few days. I’d call them as soon as I was done. </p><p>With tension gripping my belly, I left the garage, setting my coordinates for a fuel depot at the border of the Outer Rim. </p><p>I cleared atmosphere and punched it, settling into my ship for seven hours of hyperspace.</p><p>I wasted time drinking and playing games on the holoprojector. My thoughts kept whispering in the back of my mind. </p><p>I was being forced to a crossroads. I didn’t feel ready. </p><p>Ymir’s offer of peace had been so unexpected. I had never considered that option before.  </p><p>I could still feel his hand on my face, the gentleness and connection. </p><p>He had made my intentions of revenge seem childish. </p><p>Ymir had taken me in for training. As his acolyte, I had everything I wanted. He had given me money, status, and privileges. </p><p>When Snoke had set his guard against me, Ymir had been furious. He stepped into help. </p><p>And every time I had tried to kill Ymir, I had failed. He allowed me to live. </p><p>These thoughts bubbled and murmured tirelessly in the back of my mind. </p><p>***</p><p>I made the stop for fuel, moving quickly to avoid attention. Sawai was not the kind of ship that this depot usually served. </p><p>I was in and out in less than half an hour. </p><p>Back inside the cockpit, I calculated hyperspace coordinates for this mysterious place in the Unknown Regions. </p><p>I was facing more than thirty hours alone. </p><p>I didn’t know what was going to happen when I arrived. </p><p>I pushed Sawai into the blue void. </p><p>***</p><p>It was the longest hyperspace trip I had been on since Ymir had taken me to Korriban. </p><p>At the time, I thought that I was experiencing the worst kind of loneliness; Ymir had left me on that planet for more than sixty days, without another sentient soul.  </p><p>But this past cycle had taught me about a different kind of loneliness. </p><p>I was lying to everyone. </p><p>The lies to Ahobri hurt the most. She trusted me. She believed in me, but the truth would only put her in harm's way. Telling her the whole story would horrify her. </p><p>I felt fragmented. There were so many different versions of myself these days. I didn’t know what was real. </p><p>I spent hours in the training room on Sawai, trying to distance myself from thoughts of worry.</p><p>The music was turned up while I ran on the treadmill and did physical routines. </p><p>I took breaks, drinking water while my heart pounded and sweat dripped down my temples and my back. </p><p>Then I went back for more. </p><p>It felt good to practice with my lightsabers. It reminded me of who I was. </p><p>The green blades hummed in my hands as I smoothly moved through drills, one after another, until the muscles in my arms were trembling. </p><p>I didn’t know how much longer I would be able to pretend that I was just some middleman, a small-time smuggler who had managed to land a big job. </p><p>I didn’t know how much longer I wanted to pretend. </p><p>My feet and arms moved through familiar patterns of movement. It was a relief to be certain. I knew where my next step would take me, one form blending into another. </p><p>Ahobri had called me out on my aggressive offer to Euora. If Euora had said yes. If she joined my tiny crew, there would be no way to keep my identity hidden from her. We’d be working closely together. She’d find out I was an agent of the First Order. It would cause all my plans to fall apart. </p><p>If the Smuggler’s Alliance discovered I was a Sith, we’d have a big problem on our hands. Tynne and Matthias might have already blown my cover with the Resistance, but I didn’t expect any immediate consequences from that. They had enough problems on their hands without looking into what had happened to one unreliable engineer. </p><p>Eventually, I managed to completely exhaust myself. </p><p>Wiping sweat from my forehead and pushing back my hair, I headed up to the captain’s quarters to take a long shower - an incredible luxury on a starship. </p><p>Afterward, I pulled on a simple pair of leggings and a tunic, but I kept my lightsabers at my waist. </p><p>I ate a meal alone in the kitchen. Music was still blaring across the ship. When I was tired, I turned the sound off and went to bed - curled up alone on the big mattress. </p><p>***</p><p>My dreams enveloped me. </p><p>I was surrounded by inky, murky darkness. </p><p>At once I was suffocated, pressed in on all sides by something that was neither wind or water. At the exact same time I felt like I was in a vast empty chamber, one speck of dust floating in infinite space. </p><p>I struggled against the confusing sensations. My body twisted and turned in nothingness. There was no traction, no gravity. </p><p>There was nothing. </p><p>Around me were echoing sounds, deep grumbles from very far away. The sounds rattled my bones. I could feel the vibrations in the back of my skull. </p><p>It was the Darkside. </p><p>I gritted my teeth, tightening my muscles, trying to regain control as I found myself suspended in a close, expansive void. </p><p>I refused to be trapped here, floating in nothing. </p><p>The sounds grew louder as I worked my body into an upright position. </p><p>I moved a leg out in front of me, as if I was about to take a step. I felt my bare foot land on something solid. </p><p>Everything was darkness. There was nothing to see. </p><p>I made another tentative step, finding more solidness beneath my feet. </p><p>My soles couldn’t register anything. I didn’t feel metal, tile, or stone. I didn’t know what I was stepping on. </p><p>I began to press forward. </p><p>The grumbles had shifted into something more steady - a low growl that I could feel rising through the bottoms of my feet. </p><p>With gritted teeth, I moved forward, one step after another. </p><p>Eventually, a shape took form ahead of me. </p><p>It was a rectangle of light, like the outline of a giant door. </p><p>I began to pick up the pace, approaching a run. </p><p>The structure, the door, was massive. </p><p>The light outlining the sides gave me hope. </p><p>I had a way out. There was an escape. </p><p>When I arrived at the door, I reached out a hand to open it. </p><p>As I pulled it open, I found only darkness ahead of me. </p><p>I closed the door, and once again saw the gleaming white light outlining the sides, the promise of something beyond. </p><p>I opened the door again, only seeing a stretch of darkness. </p><p>The growls were growing louder. I began to hear faint screams in the distance, the pained chorus of Kyber crystals. </p><p>I had to get out of here. </p><p>I closed the door, and was met with the same glowing outline. </p><p>There had to be something I could do. I opened the door again, staring into the dark.</p><p>My heart was pounding with fear. </p><p>The growls around me took on a hungry tone. If I didn’t escape, they would devour me. </p><p>Frantically I closed and opened the door, only to be met with blackness each time. </p><p>Tears were streaming down my face, and I heard myself screaming with fear and frustration. </p><p>I refused to die here. I refused to be taken. </p><p>Without warning, I was sailing backwards, like there was a harness around my chest. Someone was pulling me from behind. </p><p>I kicked with my legs, clawing at the air with my arms. It was useless.</p><p>The door growing farther away by the second, as I was pulled by an unseen power.</p><p>***</p><p>I lurched out of bed, covered in sweat, my heart pounding. </p><p>The room was unfamiliar at first. </p><p>My head swung around, looking for any sign of danger. </p><p>There was nothing. </p><p>I was in the captain’s quarters of Sawai. Alone.</p><p>Above me, I could see the swirling blue of hyperspace from the skylight. </p><p>I brought a hand to my chest, feeling the swift rhythm of my heart. </p><p>I was in my room. </p><p>I was in hyperspace, travelling into the Unknown Regions. </p><p>Slowly, I returned to myself, pulling on a robe and wandering into the kitchen for caffeine. </p><p>With the warm mug in hand, I began to feel more normal. </p><p>The dream felt significant, like there was a message, a lesson. </p><p>I had no idea what it meant. </p><p>I padded up to the cockpit with bare feet and took a seat in the captain’s chair. </p><p>I stared out the windows, looking at the blue hyperspace tunnel without taking it in. </p><p>There was an emptiness in my chest. There was a defeated blankness in my mind. </p><p>What did it matter that I had bad dreams?</p><p>Maybe the Darkside was reaching out for me, trying to send a message. </p><p>Maybe I was starting to go crazy…</p><p>I still had a day in hyperspace ahead of me. I had nothing specific to do. </p><p>It would be easy to spend the time drinking, but it was probably good to lay off it for a few days. </p><p>The drinking hadn’t made it easier to think. </p><p>I returned to the gym, spending hours working out and practicing routines with my lightsabers. </p><p>Even pushing myself to the limits of exhaustion, my mind kept finding new thoughts to chase. </p><p>At the center of it all was the unanswered question: Was I going to give up my plan to kill Ymir?</p><p>Giving up had never been an option before, even on my worst days, at my lowest points. </p><p>The doubt was tearing me up inside. </p><p>When I was done exercising, I moved down the hall to the circular room with the rounded ceiling. </p><p>It felt like a space for meditation. There wasn’t any furniture - no art, no windows, just plain metal walls and floors. </p><p>I knelt on the ground, bare feet folded neatly under my ass, knees resting on the metal. </p><p>With a jagged, defiant sensation in my heart, I <i>sank</i> into my meditation, into the Darkside. </p><p>Instead of staying where I arrived, suspended above the pit, I <i>pushed</i> myself deeper into it. </p><p>My lips were pulled back in a snarling, angry kind of smile. </p><p>As I dropped into the darkness, I felt hungry energy pulling at me, the deepest part of me. I felt the <i>pull</i> on my aura. </p><p>This felt like a fight, and I welcomed it.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Was that you in my dreams?!</p>
</blockquote><p>I demanded. </p><p>Distant shrieks and screams answered me. It meant nothing. They were just sounds. </p><p>I <i>pushed</i> forward. My throat was tight. There was pressure along my body, like I was sinking towards the bottom of an ocean. </p><p>This energy had no end. </p><p>A thought flashed across my mind: I could drift down into it until I died.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Is that what you want?!</p>
</blockquote><p>I shouted, in a place that had no air. My lungs felt tight. Pressure was bearing down on my muscles, the bones beneath. </p><p>The cries were louder now. Millions of voices. Trillions. </p><p>The sound was vast. </p><p>I cried out in pain, still diving deeper.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>You don’t get to claim me!</p>
</blockquote><p>I was <i>reaching</i> with my hand, but I didn’t know what I hoped to find.</p><p>For an instant, everything slowed. Time was almost at a standstill. </p><p>There was a new sensation, a knowledge that I had never experienced before. </p><p>It was truth - distilled beyond words. </p><p>Sinking into the darkness, I simply Understood. </p><p>My previous attempts at meditation, feeding my emotions into the Darkside were shallow, meaningless. Emotions were temporary, as formless as smoke. So I continued going through cycles of fear and uncertainty. </p><p>I would only know peace when I gave myself to the Darkside, without reservation, without holding back. </p><p>It meant that I would lose myself. </p><p>Without attachments, I would be free. </p><p>The realization was overwhelming. </p><p>I had my answer.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>I… I can’t…</p>
</blockquote><p>Those words sounded like defeat, failure. </p><p>My voice was faint. I couldn’t breathe.</p><p>A force was pushing me upwards, like a great wind was rising beneath me. </p><p>I rose out of the darkness, out of the meditation. </p><p>My eyes flew open as I returned to my body. </p><p>I had the distinct sense that I wasn’t alone, but I knew I was the only person on this ship. I stood up, scrambling backwards until I was against the wall. My palms were flat against the metal. I needed to feel something real, something solid. </p><p>I was stunned at the sensation. It was the same faraway feeling that I had after a battle. </p><p>I stayed in the empty metal room for a long time, breathing hard, not daring to return to the meditation. </p><p>
  <b>II</b>
</p><p>It took a long time to fully come back to myself. </p><p>I wished that Ahobri was here, or even Thess. </p><p>It was just a few hours until I would be meeting with Raj. </p><p>My thoughts had only become more disturbed, but a removed sense of calm had settled over me. </p><p>There was a storm inside, and it gave me a strange feeling of clarity. </p><p>I had finally received my answer from the Darkside. If I gave myself over to it, then I could know peace. </p><p>Was that what Ymir meant, when he said he sacrificed himself to the Darkside? Is that what he had done?</p><p>There were new questions in my mind, but I didn’t know how I would ask them, or if I would be brave enough to ask them. </p><p>What if Ymir had given up more than his inheritance, the path that was laid out for him? If that was the case, did I ever stand a chance of killing him?</p><p>As I approached the final hours of the trip in hyperspace, I began to ready myself. </p><p>I spent time in the shower, scrubbing and shaving. </p><p>The women at Ekene’s place had done a good job with my eyebrows and nails. I couldn’t make any improvements. </p><p>I decided to wear my formal robes, the set lined with crimson panels, and a drape that pinned across my shoulders. Two crimson tails fell down my back. </p><p>When I was done putting on the layers of clothing, I wrapped my hair into a simple updo, held in place with a gold comb. </p><p>I smudged black around my eyes and put black lipstick on. I put one gold line down the center of my bottom lip. </p><p>My lightsabers were attached to my belt. </p><p>The only skin showing was my face. I was covered from neck to feet, with black leather gloves on my hands. </p><p>***</p><p>I emerged from hyperspace. This far into the Unknown Regions, the darkness was vast. </p><p>With my awareness extended, it felt quiet. </p><p>To my right, I noticed a massive, shifting cloud of blue and green. It was parsecs away, glowing dimly at the edges. </p><p>I turned my console on, scanning my surroundings with Sawai’s instruments while <i>searching</i> with my awareness. </p><p>A part of me was almost grateful for having such a long trip in hyperspace. My fear and anxiety had given way to determination. </p><p>I was going to make it through this, one step at a time. </p><p>My scanners picked up a ship. </p><p>That had to be Raj. </p><p>I called his line and a droid answered. It gave me approach instructions and permission to land.</p><p>I made my way over, keeping an eye on the horizon, trying to pick any information I could. </p><p>Raj’s ship was incredible. </p><p>It was another yacht, different from the one I had seen on Starkiller Base. This one was aligned vertically, stretching upwards, eighty or ninety meters from end to end.  </p><p>The machine had a stark elegance to her. </p><p>I came in slowly. </p><p>I noticed that she was facing the dark mass of clouds. There was an external shield set up in front of the ship - there were dozens of spherical drones, projecting a defensive wall that shimmered faintly blue in the darkness. </p><p>I had no idea what the shield was for. Debris, this far out?</p><p>There was only one other ship inside the hangar - a gorgeous, crescent-shaped shuttle about twice the size of SawaiI guessed this ship was for when Rajfelt like traveling light. </p><p>My welcome party was made up of Thrall, a bronze-tinted Ghalla I had met before but didn’t remember the name of. </p><p>“Madam, welcome aboard the Dawnbreaker,” Thrall greeted with a demure bow of her head. The Ghalla at her side did the same, “Master Juall has been informed of your arrival. Do you need anything before you meet with him?”</p><p>“No. I’m ready,” I replied. </p><p>I felt a tinge of fear from the Ghalla. I wondered if they were going to ask for my lightsabers, but they didn’t say anything.</p><p>I followed Thrall and the other woman out of the hangar. </p><p>“When did you and Raj arrive?” I asked as we moved through the hallways. </p><p>“Just a day ago,” Thrall replied. </p><p>She didn’t say anything else, so we lapsed into silence.</p><p>I walked just a couple of paces behind the two women. </p><p>Thrall was in a very thin, pearly, silk gown. It clung to the curve of her waist and the swell of her hips. The dress had a very short train in the back, flowing over the black metal floors. It brought out the blue of her skin. Her headtails were wrapped in a gauzy, white fabric. </p><p>The Ghalla was dressed in a red skin-tight sheath dress, with decorative cutouts along her belly and legs. She was very slender, with small breasts. She moved like a dancer, wearing gold sandals that laced up her calves. </p><p>Compared to them, I looked very intimidating. I was dressed in black and armed. Red flashed from the panels of my robes as I walked. My face was the only visible part of my body. </p><p>As we moved, I started to get a feel for the ship. </p><p>Dawnbreaker was tailor-made. I had no idea how much it cost to build a vessel like this. </p><p>The past few weeks, I had been sailing around with gangsters, with people trying to show off. They needed to prove to people they had money. They wanted people to see it. I had forgotten the understated perfection of true wealth. </p><p>Every piece of this ship had been carefully designed. The floors were black. The walls were dark and glossy, and had a deep forest green tint to them. The lighting was warm, with inlaid panels in the ceiling and beveled fixtures in the walls. </p><p>Still, there was an eerie feeling of newness and emptiness and… I could feel something else, something shifting, beyond the ship. </p><p>We entered an elevator, smoothly rising to the central decks. </p><p>Thrall led us into a gorgeous dimly-lit lounge. </p><p>Directly ahead was a bay of floor-to-ceiling windows. They stretched across the entire room, gently curving outwards. We were facing the blue-green cloud. </p><p>Raj was rising to greet me. </p><p>“Siobhan,” he said, standing from a low, boxy chair. </p><p>Thrall and the Ghalla bowed, excusing themselves. The Ghalla left, while Thrall took a post by the door, hands neatly clasped in front of her, eyes downcast. </p><p>I stood in place, letting Raj approach me. </p><p>He was dressed differently than usual, in iron gray robes, the layers of fabric fading to light blue near his throat. </p><p>“You look stunning, as usual,” he greeted, taking my hands. </p><p>“Raj,” I said. </p><p>We kissed on both cheeks.</p><p>He looked at me with his piercing blue eyes, searching my face. It was a useless effort. I could keep my intentions hidden, even from Ymir and Snoke. Raj would only be able to see what I wanted him to see. </p><p>“Please sit,” Raj said, guiding me over to the chair across from his. </p><p>It was a wide, modern thing, all squares and rectangles, but my elbows rested easily on the low arms. </p><p>Thrall moved towards the liquor cabinet to pour me a drink. </p><p>“So, why bring me all the way out here?” I asked, with a testy smile, my boots planted heavily on the floor. </p><p>Raj smirked, lines appearing at the corner of his mouth. </p><p>He really was a beautiful man, with his high cheekbones, brown skin, and blue eyes. </p><p>“I originally had no intention of bringing you out here,” Raj said, matching my meanness with his own attitude. “This ship was for me and a few close friends to watch the supernova tomorrow,” he explained with breezy indifference. </p><p>Thrall brought me a smoky liqueur in a delicate, fluted glass. </p><p>I raised an eyebrow, unable to hide my smile. “What’s happening tomorrow?” I asked, leaning forward. </p><p>Raj stood and offered me his arm. I took it, and followed him to the windows, drink in hand. </p><p>Thrall moved to a console and pressed a couple of buttons. The spherical drones outside the ship adjusted the shield.</p><p>Suddenly the shadowy cloud of blue and green was thrown into sharp focus. </p><p>“This is the Dragon’s Teeth Nebula,” Raj said, with a smooth gesture of his arm, “When I was considering the project on Starkiller Base, I did my research on the Unknown Regions.”</p><p>I stepped towards the glass, resting a gloved hand on the surface, looking into the distance. There were four stars nestled in the plumes of dust and gas. </p><p>“My team of scientists discovered this nebula, and found that one of her stars would go supernova in the coming year,” Raj continued, “This only happens every thousand years or so in our Galaxy.”</p><p>I had my eyes closed, <i>reaching</i> into the distance, feeling my way along the four stars. There was an added depth and clarity to the sensation. I <i>felt</i> the Darkside. My meditation had left me more open. </p><p>Raj took a couple steps towards me. He dared to rest a hand on my back, flat between my shoulderblades. </p><p>“This is the only opportunity to see something like this in our lifetimes,” Raj said, his voice low, and close to my ear, “Can you feel the stars?”</p><p>“Yes,” I answered. </p><p>That must have been what I had sensed earlier. Now that I knew what I was searching for, I could feel the energy, the chemical reactions driving the star down its path of inevitable destruction.</p><p>“Tell me which one it is,” Raj said, his hand sliding down my waist. </p><p>I opened my eyes and pointed, fingertip pressed against the glass, “It’s that one, second from the left.”</p><p>It was the highest star in the constellation, from our vantage point. From here it was at the farthest border of the nebula. </p><p>“You’re right,” Raj said, allowing me to hear his admiration, “I was going to invite my friends, but I decided to save it all for you.”</p><p>I turned to him, sly and distrustful. </p><p>He drew me close to him, a finger under my chin, tilting my face upwards. “All this time, and we’ve never had a true moment alone before.”</p><p>He kissed me. I could feel his lust and desire. </p><p>My body was responding, but it was a surface-level attraction. </p><p>The last time we had been together, I had been strung-out on Blue, reeling from the slaughter of freedom fighters - my first real mission as a Sith. I had gone to Raj because I knew it would hurt Ymir and Ren. </p><p>That evening together, Raj had tried to get information from me, but he crumbled at the first opportunity for sex. It had soured me on him - that, and Snoke’s ugly threat. </p><p>“You feel different,” Raj said, running his hand down the side of my face, “Colder.”</p><p>“Like I said, Snoke and Ymir both ordered me to meet with you. That’s why I’m here,” I replied, removing his hand, and taking a step back. </p><p>“But I think I’m going to like this,” I said, glancing towards the nebula and the star that was about to die.</p><p>Raj guided us back to our seats, “I want to hear about your missions, what you’ve been doing.”</p><p>He made a motion with his hand, and Thrall came to refill our drinks.</p><p>Gods, I hated that.</p><p>“Well, I just completed my assignment,” I said, not showing my irritation, “I have the Smuggler’s Alliance and two branches of the Hutt family taking orders from the First Order.”</p><p>“The Hutts!” he exclaimed, “What awful creatures! However did you manage that?”</p><p>Raj was trying to soften me up. </p><p>I entertained him, letting him think his game would work. I spun the story about meeting with Boz and Sul, working my way into the Smuggler’s Alliance through my old boss. </p><p>Raj ate the story up. I was a rogue, skirting along a dangerous path, narrowly escaping harm and failure. </p><p>“And both organizations have no idea that you’re an agent of the First Order?” Raj asked. </p><p>“They don’t have a clue,” I said, taking a sip of my drink, “They think I’m working for a company that’s trying to undermine its rivals, or some politician somewhere.”</p><p>“You’re a dangerous woman, Siobhan,” Raj said, leaning back in his chair, a calculating gleam in his eye. </p><p>I gave him a dark smile, lips curling. </p><p>I still remembered what it felt like to have him beneath me, putting <i>pressure</i> on his throat as I rode him. He loved being beneath me, helpless. </p><p>Heat was moving along my body. </p><p>I thought this might be the moment when Raj would talk to me about the reason why I was here. His plot. </p><p>Instead, he stood up, taking my hand. </p><p>“Follow me. I have plans for us tonight.”</p><p>Raj led me to the elevator, Thrall following in his wake. We began to ascend.</p><p>“You said you were visiting Ekene on his Estate,” Raj said. There was a smug look in his eye, “How’s he coping these days?”</p><p>Thrall stood apart from us in the elevator, a passive observer. </p><p>“Oh he’s soldiering through,” I replied, “It turns out I have a lot more fun with him than I ever did on Kotrea.”</p><p>“Hmm… that sounds right,” Raj said, with heavy lids, “Ymir does always prefer them with a rebellious streak.”</p><p>His comment landed personally, I tried not to let it show. </p><p>“Careful, Raj,” I cautioned, “I might start thinking that you’re jealous.”</p><p>Raj made a prim snort, lips pressed together. He looked away. </p><p>The doors opened and we continued on, down a sleek metal hallway. Up here there were more decorations. Bands of differently colored metal were inlaid in beautiful geometric patterns. The floors gleamed in the dim golden light. </p><p>We stopped at a door halfway down the hall. “My room is at the end,” Raj said, glancing up, “Thrall and Dessa will see to you.”</p><p>I stepped inside and Thrall followed, a step behind me. </p><p>The Ghalla was waiting inside - that must be Dessa. She rose from a chair, giving me a small bow, her hands clasped in front of her. I could feel her persistent fear. </p><p>I didn’t blame her. When I was on board the yacht with them last time, Raj’s women had watched me be dominant, choking him with the Force. He had loved every second of it, I could only imagine what it was like for them watching on the sidelines. </p><p>“Madam, are you hungry?” Thrall asked. </p><p>Dessa walked to the liquor cabinet to pour me another drink. </p><p>So much was on my mind. I couldn’t even remember the last time I ate something. “I think I am,” I answered after a moment of thought. </p><p>With a delicate crystal glass in my hand, I began to explore the room. It was a luxurious space. </p><p>I had a wall of bay windows, a sectioned-off sitting room, and an office. </p><p>The bed was wide and plush, with four posts rising from it. </p><p>Next to bed was a dressing rack with an incredible gown. </p><p>“What’s this?” I asked, running my hand along it. </p><p>The dress was sheer, and studded with swirling patterns of crystals. </p><p>“Master Juall had it made for you,” Thrall said, approaching me. </p><p>I ran my fingertips across the delicate studs. The crystals were real, not just sequins or glittering costume decorations. </p><p>Thrall picked up a flat wooden box from my bedside table, “This is for you.”</p><p>I opened the lid and found a gorgeous diadem, all gold filigree and sparkling gemstones. </p><p>My mouth actually fell open. </p><p>“It’s beautiful,” I breathed, picking the jewelry up, wanting to feel it draping over my fingers. </p><p>Against my black leather gloves, the gems seemed even brighter. </p><p>“Master Juall would like you to wear the dress and diadem this evening.”</p><p>I suddenly found myself looking forward to this date. </p><p>
  <b>III</b>
</p><p>The dress swished around my feet as I finished the walk to the end of the hallway, my heels crisply clicking on the metal floors.</p><p>The crystals traced glittering patterns across my breasts and hips, travelling down my legs. The dress was sleeveless, with strands of crystals draping from the bustier. My diadem rested gently across my forehead. The tall, black heels, contrasted sharply with the sheer dress. </p><p>Thrall and Dessa had wiped the black make-up from my eyes and lips. I was now done up in delicate shades of white and gold. </p><p>My hair was left loose around my shoulders, waving down my back. </p><p>Raj stood as I entered his room. He had changed, as well. Now he was wearing a dark suit, with a blue ascot folded neatly around his throat.  </p><p>We were in some kind of sitting room. I noticed the rest of his women lounging around, but I didn’t have time to take stock - Raj was stepping towards me with light in his blue eyes. </p><p>“My word,” Raj said, with the right note of awe in his voice, “I have been imagining what you’d look like in that dress.”</p><p>I held up the hem and made a graceful turn as he approached me, taking my hand and kissing my cheek. </p><p>“You are absolutely stunning,” he said, next to my ear. </p><p>In my heels, I had a few centimeters of height on him. I liked the feeling. </p><p>Raj stepped back so he could admire me. The dress showed off my breasts and clung tightly to my narrow hips. </p><p>“That’s new…” he said, his fingertips brushing against the scar on my right shoulder. </p><p>Goosebumps travelled down my arms and up my neck. </p><p>“Sparring practice with Ren,” I replied with a wicked smile, “I won.”</p><p>***</p><p>To my surprise, Raj didn’t intend for us to stay in his room. He whisked me out, giving me a slow tour of his ship. Thrall trailed behind us, always the submissive companion. </p><p>I knew that Raj was telling the truth about the ship being intended for him and his friends. The yacht was large, and felt incredibly empty and still. </p><p>There were only six of us aboard - Raj, his four women, and myself. </p><p>The only other inhabitants were droids.</p><p>As Raj walked me through his ship, he consistently had a hand on me - resting against my upper arm, my waist, or my low back. </p><p>He wanted me, but there was business to attend to. </p><p>I found myself being ushered into a drawing room. There were books along the walls here, stacked neatly onto wooden shelves and held in place by a neat band. Thrall arrived to serve us drinks and richly aromatic cigars. </p><p>“These are from Naboo,” Raj said, as Thrall began to light the cigar for him. </p><p>He puffed smoothly. I smelled spices, a hint of sweetness from the thick, lazy cloud of smoke. </p><p>“Now, I’m sure you just want me to get to the point,” Raj said, as Thrall set me up with a cigar of my own. </p><p>I pulled, watching the ember flare at the end, appreciating the silky smoke. I exhaled, allowing it to drift from my mouth and nose. </p><p>Raj gave me a smile before continuing, “But I want us to take our time together, so please indulge me tonight.”</p><p>We both knew where this was going. No one had said the words yet. There was still deniability. </p><p>“Alright,” I replied, cool and aloof, taking another pull from the cigar. </p><p>“Tomorrow, you’ll have a conversation with me and Snoke,” Raj said, “I intend tonight to be an introduction. I want you to better understand my perspective.”</p><p>I gave him a sweet look, tapping ash from the end of the cigar. I was interested in knowing how he hoped to sell me on this coup, what kind of story he wanted to use to draw me in. </p><p>“When I signed my company over to the First Order, I became personally invested in the success of this movement,” Raj began, “We have the strongest military in the Galaxy. Soon, we’ll have the strongest military that our Galaxy has ever seen. But the troops are only as strong as their leadership, and that’s where I have concerns.”</p><p>I took another pull from my cigar, happy to let him talk uninterrupted. </p><p>“The problem I see is that Lord Ymir and Kylo Ren are zealots, more concerned about following their faith than they are about maintaining firm control of the Galaxy.”</p><p>That wasn’t accurate at all. From what I had seen, Ymir did the brunt of the work of marshalling the First Order as a General and a diplomat. I had no idea what Snoke was doing these days. </p><p>I realized that I should probably find out. </p><p>“...but you, you aren’t like Kylo Ren or Ymir,” Raj continued, “You and Snoke both take power from the Force, and somehow you both seem to draw strength without becoming fanatics.”</p><p>“Ymir has opened up more about his past,” I said, playing it cool and almost-disinterested, “He told me about leaving the remnants of the Empire to train as a Sith. He also told me about his family.”</p><p>“Did Ymir tell you about his parents?” Raj asked, beginning to lean forward, a leer in his expression. </p><p>This was personal to him. </p><p>“In his version, he told me that he went on a noble quest to train as a Sith, gathering the strength and power he needed to start the First Order,” I said, playing right into what Raj wanted to hear, “He told me that he came back from Korriban to find that his parents had committed suicide, rather than stand trial for warcrimes.”</p><p>There was a dark look in Raj’s blue eyes. </p><p>I continued, “Ymir made it sound like he was a martyr, pursuing a cause. But it was easy to read between the lines. He disappeared after the war, and his parents killed themselves rather than face public humiliation.”</p><p>Raj made a very grim nod, “I knew that you would understand…” </p><p>I was telling him the truth, but it wasn’t like Ymir’s parents were heroes. They were responsible for the construction of both Death Stars. They had helped to kill billions of people in the name of the Empire. It wasn’t like their deaths were a real tragedy. </p><p>“...Ymir has a story he’s created for himself,” Raj continued, “He’s always been like that. He has delusions of grandeur, and he’s able to make most people believe him.”</p><p>Raj took a sip of his drink, ashing his cigar while he was at it, “I believe that Ymir can bring the Galaxy under control of the First Order. I do. My concern is his plan to start a cabal of Sith.”</p><p>“Oh, I know all about that,” I said, with dark playfulness. </p><p>“Ymir has made his intentions clear,” Raj replied, “Capturing Kylo Ren was a brilliant political move, but that boy is not a military leader. I have serious concerns about him remaining in a leadership position once the war is over.”</p><p>I suddenly found myself concerned. Raj and Snoke might order me to kill Ren as part of this deal. That wasn’t something that I wanted. </p><p>“But you…” Raj continued, leaning forward, cigar smoke streaming up from his hand, “I see true potential in you. You’re practical. You understand diplomacy. Our troops look up to you. I heard about what happened on the Base, the crash that you stopped. That story swept across the entire fleet in just a few days.”</p><p>I gave Raj a skeptical look, “When men give me too many compliments, I stop believing them.”</p><p>His demeanor changed, he was becoming more sly and calculated, “Then how about this,” he replied, “I’ve heard many other rumors about you. One is that you have Kylo Ren wrapped around your finger. There are all kinds of stories about what you do in bed together.”</p><p>“Did you hear that one from Hux?” I said with a laugh, finishing my drink. I wasn’t going to let him get under my skin that easily, especially not about something that was actually true. </p><p>Raj ignored my comment, “The other rumor is that you and Lord Ymir are more than just teacher and student. There’s all kinds of talk about Sith rituals, what you, Ymir, and Ren do for training together,” Raj gave me an unflinching look, “I mean, it’s all just starship gossip, but one does have to wonder. Ymir killed your father, and you returned to him for training. There has to be some kind of connection between you.”</p><p>My lips curled into a mean smile. He was goading me on purpose now, wanting to see how far he could push me. </p><p>“Get on your knees,” I <i>commanded</i>, using a mind trick on Raj. </p><p>I saw the flash of fear in his eyes, connected to his desire. He began to move forward, slowly sinking to his knees in his suit. </p><p>Thrall let out a gasp of surprise. I gave her a serious look. She froze. </p><p>I turned back to Raj, standing on his knees in his fine suit. His back teeth were clenched as he tried to resist the command, it wasn’t serious. It was like someone struggling in restraints they had asked for. </p><p>I stood up slowly, leaving my glass and cigar on the side table next to my chair. </p><p>With unhurried steps, I approached Raj, running my hand down his freshly shaved cheek. He closed his eyes, leaning against me. He liked the potential for danger. He liked that I could control him with a word. </p><p>I turned to Thrall, stunned by the door, “Leave us. Don’t say a word to anyone,” I <i>commanded</i>. </p><p>She left the room, head bowed. </p><p>The door shut behind her. </p><p>I felt Raj’s heart start to beat faster. We were alone together. He didn’t have a security droid. I had sent away the only other person who could possibly help him. </p><p>I had complete control. </p><p>It felt good. </p><p>I took a seat on the wide armrest of my chair, crossing my legs, my feet decorated in the tall black heels. </p><p>I watched Raj for a moment, deciding what I wanted to do with him. </p><p>“Come here, on your knees,” I <i>ordered</i>. </p><p>He had tried to get under my skin. Snoke was trying to force me into their deal. They couldn’t control me that easily.</p><p>Raj approached me on his knees, his movements were unsteady. When he crossed the distance he rested his head against my leg and closed his eyes, a familiar, peaceful expression on his face. </p><p>I reached down, running my fingers through his perfect white hair. He kept it long on top, elegantly slicked back from his face. I mussed it with wide strokes of my fingers, watching how it fell to either side. </p><p>He sighed. </p><p>I wrapped his hair around my hand, pulling firmly. </p><p>The hiss of pain made me wet. I felt Raj’s jaw clench. </p><p>“You’re like him…” I heard him say, his voice was dreamy and distant. </p><p>I ran my hand down his cheek, lifting his chin so he could look at me. </p><p>“You’re like Ymir,” he repeated in the same peaceful voice, “I didn’t notice it at first, but now I see it… I wonder, was it always there, or did he bring it out in you…?”</p><p>There was a pleasant, crackling anger in my chest and heat rising in me. </p><p>I extended one of my legs and rested my ankle on Raj’s shoulder, the sparkling gown trailing, my black heel pointing towards the door. </p><p>“Stop talking,” I said. </p><p>Raj’s eyes were clouded with lust. He slowly kissed his way up my leg. </p><p>I stayed planted on the edge of the armrest while Raj knelt on the floor. He spent time between my legs, lapping at my clit. </p><p>He made me come over and over again, my low belly squeezing, hands gripping the chair to help me keep my balance. </p><p>When I had enough of him on his knees, we returned to his room. </p><p>I ordered his women out. </p><p>Raj was hungry to submit to me - a woman half his age, with a power he would never have. Power that reminded him of Ymir. </p><p>I restrained him using the Force, putting pressure on his mind and his body. </p><p>I made him sweat, and beg, debasing himself for me. I allowed myself to be cruel, loving and hating how he brought that emotion out in me. </p><p>When I was done, I left his room, going to sleep in my own space down the hall. If he needed more attention, he could call his women to his side. </p><p>
  <b>IV</b>
</p><p>My sleep was deep and blessedly dreamless. </p><p>I woke to Raj taking a seat on the edge of my bed. “You left me all alone last night,” he said. </p><p>I pushed myself up and let my surroundings return to me. I had been on the move for weeks now, never staying in the same place for more than a day or two. </p><p>I remembered that I was far in the Unknown Regions, on Raj’s yacht with his harem. </p><p>“You have four other women sharing your bed,” I said, rubbing at an eye, “I’d hardly call that sleeping alone.” </p><p>For once, I had washed my makeup off before going to sleep. I was naked, my hair loose around my shoulders. </p><p>Raj was in a robe, the most casual I had ever seen him. His hair was mussed, wisps going in different directions. </p><p>“I wanted to do this as soon as you woke up…” he said, moving towards me. His hand wrapped around the back of my head, pulling me towards him for a kiss, “There’s never been a woman that’s done that to me before.”</p><p>He had never had a woman dominate him like I had. </p><p>I had kept him restrained for most of the evening. When we had returned to his room, I had barely let him touch me.</p><p>He was starved for it. </p><p>Raj began to kiss his way down my neck, sucking on my nipples. I moaned as he circled his tongue around the sensitive skin, the two metal barbells. </p><p>He pushed the blankets aside and kissed his way down my belly, across my thighs, before sliding his tongue between my lips. </p><p>I accepted the attention. Raj was between my legs, pleasuring me with his tongue and fingers. I was wet, dripping, crying out as he licked me. He drew several orgasms out of me, my legs tense and shaking. </p><p>When he was done, he shucked off his robe, fucking me urgently. </p><p>I laughed, my hands around his shoulders as he filled me. I was slick still riding the aftershocks of my last orgasm. Raj wanted what I had denied him yesterday. </p><p>He came, gasping my name, eyes closed. I felt warmth as he throbbed inside of me, working out those final shuddering thrusts. </p><p>Raj rolled off of me, panting, resting a hand on my upper thigh, “Gods… I couldn’t wait another moment to have you.”</p><p>***</p><p>We ate breakfast together on one of the decks halfway down the ship. </p><p>Raj had dressed in a set of pale linen robes, a blue wrapper around his waist. He took the time to fix his hair before our meal together. </p><p>I was dressed with aggressive casualness. I wore my boots, leggings, and an undershirt without a bra. My belt with my lightsabers was secured around my waist. </p><p>Today was when Raj and Snoke would present me with their deal. I wasn’t going to be dressed up in the clothes he had made for me, the gowns and jewelry. </p><p>“So when is this supernova supposed to happen?” I asked. </p><p>Raj was seated across from me at the table. </p><p>“Two hours from now. I thought that we could talk business before it happens,” he replied. </p><p>Finally, we could stop doing this baanthashit dance. </p><p>After our meal, we headed up to the observation deck where Raj had greeted me on the previous day. </p><p>Thrall and Dessa were waiting to attend to us. </p><p>I walked towards the large windows, looking out at the nebula and her four stars. Raj took a seat. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> for the star that would be going nova. The chain reaction had been set in motion from the moment it was formed. The star was burning dimly, like a flickering candle. Just a matter of hours now. </p><p>“The Galaxy hasn’t always been at war,” Raj said from his chair. </p><p>I opened my eyes and turned to him. </p><p>“Certainly there were always battles throughout history, squabbles for territory,” Raj continued, in a smooth lecturing tone, “But these Galaxy-wide conflicts are a recent development.”</p><p>I walked over to Raj, taking the drink that Thrall offered me. </p><p>She was frightened. I had commanded her and Raj with just my voice. Neither of them had been able to resist me. </p><p>I took my seat across from him, resting an ankle over my knee. </p><p>“My father and the Danakars were all part of the same weapons syndicate,” Raj said, “However, when the Empire rose, my father decided it was best not to take sides. His company was offered the contract to build their Death Star, but he declined. In a war, everyone needs weapons. Tipping the scales is bad for business.”</p><p>Raj was stringing me along, leading me towards a question.</p><p>“Then why did you decide to hop in bed with the First Order?” I asked with a testy smile. </p><p>“I had years to think about the problem, about my father’s strategy,” Raj replied, “My generation was raised with war, and yours has never known anything else. I’ve had decades to inform my beliefs, and I feel very strongly that I have a solution-”</p><p>“And what’s that?” I said, interrupting rudely. </p><p>Raj had fire in his eyes as I needled him. “You never give it a rest do you?” he said, lips pressing in irritation. </p><p>I just stared at him. </p><p>Raj took a breath before continuing, “The Empire wasn’t wrong in their strategy, they just had bad leadership,” he began. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> for the man, wanting to understand what was truly in his heart. </p><p>“Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader were mystics, allowing themselves to be wrapped up in the plot of a handful of Rebel fighters. It shocked the Galaxy when we discovered that Leia Organa and Luke Skywalker were Vader’s children. You grew up knowing that as a fact, you’ve never known anything else.”</p><p>“It wasn’t something I ever paid attention to,” I said, “Not until I joined the Resistance.”</p><p>“Oh yes, I keep forgetting that,” Raj said with a smile, taking a drink, “What an interesting history you have. Then I’d love to hear what you think about my plans.”</p><p>I settled back in my chair, drink in hand, and motioned for him to continue.. </p><p>Raj was putting on a show for me, but he was being honest. </p><p>“The Galaxy needs order,” he said, “The Empire had the correct strategy. Anything beyond the Core Worlds and the Inner Rim is squalor. People live their lives in poverty, unable to take care of themselves, yet they keep producing more people to replace them… You know it. You were raised on Tevel. I can’t imagine your family had enough to take care of you properly.”</p><p>I had to fight to keep from clenching my jaw, “We got by,” I said, knowing that he was trying to provoke a response from me. </p><p>Raj raised an eyebrow, “We need a central locus of control,” he continued, “The Empire almost achieved it, the military leadership could have done it without Vader or Palpatine. After their failure, General Organa set up her Rebel government, and all they did was spark a civil war. The New Republic will be a failure, they just don’t know it yet.”</p><p>I waited patiently for Raj to wrap up his speech. </p><p>“The masses say they want freedom, but when they are granted it, they just turn on each other, supporting cheap warlords and petty dictators,” Raj said, “If they knew how to govern themselves, they would be educating their children, and having fewer of them.”</p><p>He meant every single word of what he said. The worst part was that he thought I agreed with him. </p><p>My thoughts turned to Ahobri, Thess, Troye, and pretty much every single person I had ever been in a crew with. We were born with nothing, so we learned how to make scraping by seem like thriving. Raj would never understand that. </p><p>He thought we were all disposable. </p><p>Raj wasn’t done, “Every now and then, I encounter people like you. Some people are able to transcend their low station and become important. Ymir must have felt that in you. I see that potential as well. You were meant for greatness.”</p><p>This was his final appeal, speaking to my ego. </p><p>“That’s why I sought Ymir out,” I said, giving Raj a fiery look, “I felt his power and I wanted it for myself.”</p><p>It was a version of the truth, enough for me to make it sound real. </p><p>“You understand how power works,” Raj said, crossing his legs, “You aren’t just a mystic following a screed.”</p><p>I made a sarcastic little smile, “So, what about Kylo Ren?” </p><p>“I expect we’ll use him as long as we can,” Raj said with a dismissive wave of his hand, “He’s an interesting case. He’s an invaluable soldier, but he doesn’t know the first thing about real leadership.”</p><p>That was a deflection, not a real answer. </p><p>Raj paused, “I heard that you were assembling a crew of your own.”</p><p>“I am,” I replied, making eye contact.</p><p>Snoke might have discovered Ahobri’s identity. Ymir might have done the same. I didn’t want her to become a pawn, used as leverage against me. </p><p>“Well, I assume they’re less ghoulish than Ren’s Knights,” Raj said a mean twist to his lips. </p><p>I could feel the energy from the star begin to shift. </p><p>I stood up, walking towards the window. </p><p>“Is it about time?” I asked as I walked. </p><p>“It is,” Raj said, slowly following after me, “Can you feel it?”</p><p>“I can.”</p><p>Thrall was at the console, adjusting the settings on the wide bay windows. In front of us, the secondary shield was powered up fully. </p><p>I was unnerved by my conversation with Raj. He had a distaste for most of the people in the Galaxy, thinking that we were too poor and stupid to take care of ourselves. </p><p>I couldn’t let him see me react to that. </p><p>We stood in front of the large windows, looking out in the vast emptiness of the Unknown Regions. </p><p>I opened my heart to the Darkside as I <i>reached</i> through space. </p><p>“For the longest time, I never believed that the Force was real,” Raj said, placing a hand on my upper back again, “I knew about the Jedi Council. Ymir talked to me about it when we were young, but I never really believed in any of it.”</p><p>I was looking at the nebula. </p><p>I could feel the energy rising inside the star, the reaction of heat and energy bursting as the core collapsed. </p><p>“Then I met you,” Raj said, “I’ve seen how your training has shaped you, hardened you. You feel more powerful, you’re not that ragged little girl I met on Taltua.”</p><p>I wanted to snap at him for prodding at my concentration, but this could be a good opportunity.</p><p>“My father was a war hero with the Rebellion,” I said, gazing straight ahead, “He died, defeated inside of his own home, cut down in front of his family. I vowed that I would never be that weak. I vowed that I would become strong enough to kill Ymir.”</p><p>It was exactly what Raj wanted to hear, but as I spoke, those words felt true. </p><p>My heart was open to the Darkside. It could feel my intentions. </p><p>The Darkside was a hungry, devouring kind of energy. It needed sacrifices. It needed blood. I had promised to kill Ymir. It didn’t care about my reasons why. </p><p>My eyes were still open, but I was barely paying attention to my vision. </p><p>Raj’s attention went to the holofeed readout on the window, with countless digital readouts to quantify the death of this star. There was a countdown to when it would go nova, all the energy bursting outward from the core. </p><p>I didn’t need to watch the feed to know what was happening. </p><p>I closed my eyes. Raj’s hand still rested against my back. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> for the star. The rising energy was like a chorus, but so different from the Kyber crystals. This was something much more basic. </p><p>For an instant, I was reminded of the feeling of the mountains on Otomok, those plates shifting across the surface. There was no goal, no direction, just objects responding to the push and pull of nature. </p><p>I felt the exact moment that the core collapsed, its energy bursting out through the material of the star. </p><p>At my side, Raj let out a genuine gasp and I was reminded that the man was actually a person. </p><p>I blinked open my eyes, but my vision felt like a secondary sense. The feeling of it was much more important to me. </p><p>The window had been dimmed so we didn’t go blind. Ahead of us was a blaze of white light, billowing outwards in all directions. The colors were enhanced so we could better see the action. </p><p>I could feel the clash of energy, hot enough to create different elements, bursting forth into the Galaxy. </p><p>“We’re the first ones to see it,” Raj breathed, “Everyone else has to wait. They don’t even know about it yet.”</p><p>Raj turned his head to kiss me, and I returned his embrace. </p><p>My awareness was cast around me like a net, the sensation making my head spin. </p><p>“This was how life began,” Raj said, looking at the nova in that same reverent voice, “Stars sending out elements into the universe…”</p><p>He paused, taking a moment to clasp my hand, fingers intertwined. </p><p>“Then life arose, and discovered that it could create whatever elements it needed to survive,” Raj said, “We don’t have to rely on the stars anymore.”</p><p>He sounded just like Ymir. </p><p>We stood, gazing out in wonder at this spectacle. To me, it felt like a loop of death and rebirth. Energy changed its shape and form. What used to be a star was now diffused into something else. Its death was another beginning. </p><p>I remembered when Ren had showed me the Light side of the force - that peaceful, passive energy. </p><p>This was what he was talking about. There was no reason to mourn the star, it was simply shifting into another form. </p><p>We were at the windows for over an hour, watching, only exchanging a word or two in that time. </p><p>Even in all this magnificence, I couldn’t shake Raj’s words. </p><p>He wanted to take control of the Galaxy because he understood everyone else to be beneath him. </p><p>Snoke wanted the power and wealth that came from conquest. </p><p>Ymir needed to prove that he was strong enough to achieve more power than anyone else. </p><p>I didn’t want any of that. I didn’t have that same drive for control and power. </p><p>So what did I want?</p><p>I held a hand out, channelling my energy. To Raj and Thrall, I must have looked crazy, but I didn’t care. </p><p>As I <i>reached</i> into the star, my thoughts were consumed with ideas of death and rebirth. Images were flashing through my mind - the conscripted soldiers from Fedje, training for a few weeks before being sent to the front lines - I could hear the energy from the Kyber crystals, protesting their fate as a weapon - I remembered how it felt to move a mountain. </p><p>I imagined Thess, now able to provide for her family - Ahobri, finally able to live the life that she always dreamed about. </p><p>The doubt and uncertainty in my heart was being washed away by a newfound feeling of resolve. </p><p>I would kill these three men. Ymir, Snoke, Raj. </p><p>They were right. The New Republic didn’t stand a chance against them. The Resistance would fail - it was too small and too weak. </p><p>But I wasn’t. </p><p>The Darkside wanted power and blood - it didn’t care where it came from. </p><p>In the back of my mind, I heard a chorus of growls rise up.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Help me to be strong enough, and I’ll give you blood.</p>
</blockquote><p>I returned with a growl of my own. </p><p>“You are a wonder,” Raj breathed, “You really can feel it, can’t you?”</p><p>I took in a very deep breath, returning to the physical world, the one beneath my feet. </p><p>I realized that I had my hand outstretched to the glass. </p><p>The nova had expanded. The screen was awash with light. </p><p>Slowly, I turned to Raj. “I could feel everything happening inside of that star,” I said, breathless and elated. </p><p>Raj was a dead man. It was just a matter of time. </p><p>“I told Snoke to expect a call from us about now,” Raj said, “Are you ready?”</p><p>I felt dizzy and hopeful. </p><p>“As long as I can sit down,” I said. </p><p>The past few weeks had been shaped by fear and worry, and I felt it had all been washed away. </p><p>I would agree to join their plot to kill Ymir. It would allow me to keep these men close, to have them trust me, rely on me. I would kill all three of them. I would decapitate the First Order. </p><p>Thrall was at the console, connecting us with Snoke. </p><p>His twisted, misshapen face appeared large on the holoscreen. </p><p>“Rajendra, Siobhan,” he greeted. </p><p>“Superior General,” Raj replied. </p><p>I crossed my ankle over my knee and gave a little smile as Snoke swung his head my way. I felt him <i>reaching</i> for me, but I was cloaked. </p><p>“I think it’s time that we finally got to business,” Raj said, looking my way. </p><p>“We’ll forgo the usual pleasantries, that seems to be what Siobhan prefers,” Snoke said, lip curling in the faintest sneer. </p><p>“That’s right,” I replied, allowing myself to look smug. </p><p>“Siobhan, I’m sure you understand by now. Rajendra and I would like you to eliminate Lord Ymir,” Snoke began.</p><p>Finally. I was able to hear the words. </p><p>“I do,” I said, “I was wondering when someone would finally be brave enough to ask.”</p><p>Raj arched an eyebrow at my attitude. </p><p>Snoke ignored my comment, “What we haven’t discussed are the terms.” </p><p>I began letting go of the control I had over my aura - very, very slowly. </p><p>“The first thing I need you to understand is that you will be working on my timeline, under my orders,” Snoke continued, “Any plans or intentions you have can be discussed, but I make the final call.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” I replied. </p><p>“When I decide that it is time to act,” Snoke continued, “You will be provided whatever resources that are required for you to complete the mission. Given your previous attempts, it doesn’t seem like you’ll be able to accomplish this alone.”</p><p>So he was willing to jab at me. </p><p>I kept my cool. </p><p>As I let go of my aura, I watched the light change in his eyes. He <i>felt</i> me. </p><p>“And upon successful completion of the mission?” I said, allowing myself to be leering and dangerous. </p><p>“You would have a stake. A third of the First Order, after myself and Rajendra,” Snoke replied, “After that, you can take on whatever role you like, as a diplomat or a military leader.”</p><p>Power, money, and titles. That’s what they thought I wanted. </p><p>What a bunch of greedy fools. </p><p>“And what’s your plan for Kylo Ren?” I asked. </p><p>Snoke made an ugly smile, “Ultimately, that’s up to him,” Snoke said, “He’s a powerful warrior, but he is loyal to Lord Ymir before the First Order.”</p><p>“I won’t go after Kylo Ren,” I said, negotiating my terms, “I understand that I might need to go through him to get to Ymir, but I’m not going to go after him separately. Will you accept that?”</p><p>“I didn’t know you two had grown so close,” Snoke sneered, “I’ll accept that. Lord Ymir is my first concern.”</p><p>I gave a curt nod, “I told Lord Ymir that you forced my hand for this meeting. I’ll be debriefing him about it afterwards.”</p><p>Rajendra was looking at me with frustration and anger. My casual attitude was driving him crazy. </p><p>Snoke actually seemed to be enjoying this, he had his aura wrapped around my heart - at least, the little sliver that I was allowing him to see. He knew that I was telling the truth. He could feel how close I had become with the Darkside. </p><p>“I expected that,” Snoke replied, unconcerned, “We’ll be carrying out this coup in the open. I rather like the challenge.”</p><p>And I could feel Snoke in return, his own connection to the Darkside, gnashing and cold. </p><p>“So, Siobhan, will you join with us? Will you help us kill Lord Ymir?” Snoke asked. </p><p>Raj looked at me expectantly. </p><p>“I will,” I said. I took Raj’s hand and shook on it. </p><p>Snoke felt the resolve and determination in my heart - my newfound commitment to killing Ymir. </p><p>“You’ve grown stronger, little Sith…” Snoke murmured. </p><p>I looked up at him with anger and pride in my eyes. </p><p>“Go tell Ymir our plans,” Snoke said, “We’ll contact you as we develop our strategy.”</p><p>“Superior General,” Raj acknowledged, with a polite bow of his head. </p><p>The line closed. </p><p>Raj was pulling me towards him.“Using his own student against him,” he said, with jagged hope, “The child of the Rebel who killed Sophia. I like this plan.”</p><p>He kissed me. His teeth were sharp against my tongue and lips. </p><p>Anger was bubbling up inside of me. </p><p>“Mmm… little Sith…” Raj hummed. </p><p>I was done playing nice. </p><p>I pushed him backwards. He stumbled, catching himself in the seat of his chair. </p><p>“Don’t ever call me that again,” I growled, stepping towards him. </p><p>Fear was lighting up Raj’s face. I watched his eyes flicker to the lightsabers on my belt. </p><p>Across the room, Thrall was frozen, not moving a muscle. </p><p>“You treat me like I’m one of the women you bought,” I spat, “You act like I’m your plaything.”</p><p>Now Raj was cowering, and I enjoyed it. Last night, I had controlled his body and mind without placing a hand on him. </p><p>I began putting <i>pressure</i> on his throat, enough for him to feel it, but not enough to be dangerous, yet. </p><p>This wasn’t sexplay. </p><p>He understood that I could hurt him. He looked up at me, a serious expression in his eyes. </p><p>“You’re entrusting me to kill Lord Ymir,” I continued, my hand in a pincer shape, “So treat me with some goddamn respect.”</p><p>I <i>tightened</i> my grip on his throat as I began to walk away, wanting to make sure he didn’t follow me. I didn’t release him until I was rising on the elevator.</p><p>Swiftly, I returned to my room. I grabbed my kitbag, the expensive dress, and the new jewelry. Then I made my way down to Sawai in the hangar. </p><p>I dropped the kitbag onto the bench in the cockpit, and began to warm the engines up. </p><p>I turned my music up loud and cleared the hangar. I jumped into hyperspace as the star continued to burn behind me.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Alright folks, we’ve had weeks of deals and scheming, now we’re about to start putting Siobhan back into action. </p><p>On that note, I don’t think I’m going to make next Wednesday’s update. With the longer chapters, it’s been a rush to get this writing typed up, edited, and posted. (Hence these super late posts…) I want to take next week to get ahead. If I’m really productive, y’all might see some smutty one-offs that I’ve been thinking about :)</p><p>As always, I am so grateful to you for following this story, in any capacity. I look forward to hearing from you in the comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Tipping the Scales</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Siobhan has officially been asked to kill the head of the First Order, and she accepted. She has decided for herself to kill Snoke, Raj, and Ymir. </p>
<p>She is strengthening her relationship with the Darkside and is ready for action - Kylo Ren and Ymir are beginning to notice the change.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Alright everybody, buckle up. This is my most ambitious chapter to date. A whole lot happens, and Siobhan will not be the same by the end.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>I</b>
</p>
<p>I arrived at Starkiller Base with fresh determination in my heart. </p>
<p>All the confusion and fear from the past cycle had burned away and now I had a purpose again. </p>
<p>Ymir, Snoke, and Raj all wanted to claim the Galaxy for themselves. They were willing to do anything to have that power. They wanted to use me to settle the score.. </p>
<p>I emerged at the outskirts of the planet, well away from The Finalizer. </p>
<p>I checked my comms and found that Ahobri had left a message. It was a video message, with Ekene next to her in the holofeed. She was smiling, her round tinted glasses balanced on her forehead.</p>
<p>“Siobhan, I want you to know we’ve started the search for a house,” Ahobri said. “We’ve gone to Bastatha and Denon. Ekene has never been slumming before.”</p>
<p>“I’m learning so many things,” he replied, kissing her cheek. Ekene locs were free around his shoulders. He had a carefree grin on his face. </p>
<p>“Anyways, we’re finding places, but I’m waiting for ‘the one.’ Call me and let me know everything’s alright. Love you.”</p>
<p>It meant so much to see the two of them enjoying themselves. I was going to call her back, but I needed to call Ymir first. </p>
<p>He answered right away. From the background, it looked like he was in the office at his Estate. </p>
<p>“Siobhan,” he greeted, “It’s been almost a week.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s been a hell of a time,” I replied, “I just got back from meeting with Raj.”</p>
<p>He tried to keep his expression neutral, but I caught the way his eyebrow started to lift, “Where are you?”</p>
<p>“Within sight of Starkiller Base. I just arrived,” I replied, easily. </p>
<p>As much as I hated this place, it was exactly where Ymir would want me to be. </p>
<p>His lips pressed together, immediately suspicious that I was doing something he approved of. </p>
<p>“So...” I continued, giving him a fiery, playful look, “Do you want to ask me questions, or should I just tell you what happened?” </p>
<p>Ymir let out a familiar sigh, blinking slowly, “Tell me your story, and I’ll ask questions as I need to.”</p>
<p>I made a wolfish grin, “So, Raj and Snoke finally popped the question,” I began, “I agreed to the deal, like you told me to do.”</p>
<p>Ymir gave me a look - prideful, and amused. He didn’t say anything. </p>
<p>“Raj had me fly out into the ass-end of the Unknown Regions,” I said, “That’s actually why I stopped at Starkiller Base. I’ve been in hyperspace since forever, and it would have taken even longer to get anywhere good.”</p>
<p>“Was this about the supernova?” Ymir asked. </p>
<p>I shouldn’t have been surprised that he knew about it.</p>
<p>“That’s the one,” I replied easily, “Raj apparently was going to take a group of his buddies out there. But I had been giving him a hard time about meeting up, so he decided it would just be me and his harem.”</p>
<p>I was putting on a show, performing for Ymir. </p>
<p>“I take it you enjoyed yourself?” he asked with a smirk. </p>
<p>“Not really,” I said, “Raj is a real asshole when you get him alone. He kept trying to win me over with gifts and compliments, like I was one of his paid girls. He treated me like I was his mistress, even though he’s recruiting me to kill you.”</p>
<p>I was having fun with this conversation. I could tell Ymir liked my attitude. </p>
<p>“What did they offer you?” he asked. </p>
<p>“A one-third stake in the First Order.”</p>
<p>Ymir laughed, mouth open, head tilting back. I grinned in return. </p>
<p>“Did you believe them?” Ymir asked. </p>
<p>“Not for a minute,” I replied, “I let them know I’d be telling you everything afterwards.”</p>
<p>“Oh Siobhan, I’m so glad that you get to be their problem too,” Ymir said, with playful light in his eyes, “Now they’ll understand what I’ve been dealing with.”</p>
<p>“How much does Ren know?” I asked, hoping to catch him off-guard and get an honest answer. </p>
<p>Ymir’s amusement faded. “Are you asking if Kylo Ren knows about your role in this plot?”</p>
<p>“I just want to know what he’s aware of,” I said. </p>
<p>“How did the Superior General and Rajendra talk about him?” Ymir asked, not answering my question. </p>
<p>“Frankly, they were really fucking rude,” I said, “It sounds like they just want to wring as much use from him as possible, then dump him afterwards.”</p>
<p>Ymir’s lips pressed together. He knew I was telling him the truth, “Kylo Ren doesn’t know anything about this plot, or the Superior General’s intention to overthrow me,” he answered, “He’s too volatile. He doesn’t understand that the balance of power is always tenuous.”</p>
<p>I gave a nod. “I won’t say anything.,” I said, “I didn’t like how they talked about power. They think that everyone else in the Galaxy is beneath them. It’s different from you, but the end goal is the same.”</p>
<p>“That’s right,” Ymir replied, “Snoke wants to create an oligarchy. Rajendra is afraid that the Galaxy will tip into mob-rule when the New Republic fails, and he wants to keep himself safe.”</p>
<p>There was a lapse of silence between us. </p>
<p>“Well, Siobhan,” Ymir said, “You haven’t regained my trust, but I’m heartened by your observations. Stay on The Finalizer for now, and review the adjustments to our expansion strategy. Confirm that the Hutts and the Smuggler’s Alliance are sticking to their agreements.”</p>
<p>It was back to the military life for me. </p>
<p>“I’ve sent Adram, Yuri, and Ghent to monitor activity around the Resistance base on Daluuj. I also want to do something about the warlords in the Outer Rim. I’ll have a more concrete assignment for you soon.”</p>
<p>“Gods, Daluuj is way deep in the Outer Rim,” I said, resting my chin in my hand, “What did they do to deserve that shit detail?”</p>
<p>“If you want to take their place, I can call them right now,” Ymir said with a glint in his eye. </p>
<p>“Oh that’s fine,” I replied breezily, “I want to do some more digging into Sul Haak and Verza. I think they both want to deal with me under the table. They might be able to give us some useful information, or new contacts.”</p>
<p>“Good. Explore those avenues and report back,” Ymir said. </p>
<p>He paused for a moment, giving me a thoughtful look. “I didn’t expect you to complete your mission so quickly,” he said, “I had planned on this assignment to take two or three cycles, not half of one. You’ve impressed me.”</p>
<p>“Thank you,” I replied with a slow smile. </p>
<p>“Keep in touch.”</p>
<p>Ymir closed the line. </p>
<p>This was going to be an interesting dance. Ymir and Snoke both felt that my loyalty was caught between them, that I would betray one to serve the other. </p>
<p>I wanted them to think that for as long as possible. </p>
<p>I would use their trust to kill them both, and I would be serving the Darkside in the process. </p>
<p>It was a heady thought. I suddenly felt dizzy. </p>
<p>I gave myself a few minutes to calm down before reaching out to Ahobri. </p>
<p>She didn’t answer, so I recorded a video message. </p>
<p>“Ahobri, Ekene!” I greeted, “I just got done with this assignment. I’m going to be stuck on a starship for a little while. I want to talk soon and hear about these places. It looks like you’re having fun. Love you both!”</p>
<p>I was so grateful for Ekene’s help. </p>
<p>When he last saw me, he understood that I was wavering in my plan for revenge. My hope was that I could make him continue to believe that I had given up on the idea. The two men were separated now, but Ekene would not be such a good friend if he knew I intended to hurt Ymir. </p>
<p>The final call was my easiest. </p>
<p>I typed in Rosie’s New Republic line, referencing the code from a note on my console. I had never needed to call my own ship before. </p>
<p>No one answered, so I typed up a message for Thess: [I’m on The Finalizer. I need you to come back soon.]</p>
<p>I should talk with Koval sometime. Right now he was getting paid to do security for an empty apartment. It was a good gig for him, but now it seemed possible that none of us were ever going to return to Artrix. I decided to give it another week. </p>
<p>I took Sawai down towards Starkiller Base, not bothering to contact The Finalizer. After everything that had happened, I wasn’t ready to see Ren yet. </p>
<p>The planet was visibly different. </p>
<p>There was a massive swathe of clear-cutting along the equator. The plumes of dust and smoke were visible from space. </p>
<p>As I cleared atmosphere, I saw long convoy of large bulky shuttles. They would be delivering supplies to the excavation crews. I sent out a tendril of awareness, <i>reaching</i> for the Kyber crystals. It was a sorrowful, crystalline chorus. </p>
<p>My intention was to visit the caves near the Base. A part of me wondered if they had been mined already. Hopefully Ymir had spared them. </p>
<p>I cleared myself for landing in a hangar. I sailed over the yard, full of fresh conscripts in training. As I set Sawai down, I got a call from Thess. </p>
<p>“Hey, good to hear from you,” I said, cutting the engines. </p>
<p>“You too,” Thess greeted, “With cousin before. No talking good idea.”</p>
<p>I grinned, realizing how much I had missed the girl, with her many tattoos and funny way of speaking. </p>
<p>“How’s your family? How’s your mom?” I asked. </p>
<p>“I bought medicine. She slowly better. Couldn’t buy before,” Thess said, looking directly into the holofeed with her wide-eyed intensity, “Family want to thank you.”</p>
<p>I felt uncomfortable with this kind of attention. I found myself scratching the back of my head, “It’s really nothing. I’m glad to help.”</p>
<p>It was just money, and I had plenty of that these days. </p>
<p>“I come back Finalizer. Leave tonight, see you tomorrow? Alright, yah?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, that’s fine. I’m going to be training planet-side, so if you get there before me, just make yourself at home. They all know you’re with me.”</p>
<p>“See there!” Thess said and closed the line. </p>
<p>That was all the work I needed to get done for now. I stood up from the captain’s chair, stretching my arms above my head, then shaking out my legs. </p>
<p>I went to my quarters and pulled on thermals and utility clothes. My lightsabers were secured around my waist, covered by a long heavy jacket. </p>
<p>I was going to meditate in the Kyber crystal caves. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>An officer was more than happy to put together a backpack with the gear I needed. </p>
<p>I had several hundred meters of rope, equipment for descending and ascending, a lantern, and several lightsticks. There was also plenty of water and a couple thousand calories in little foil pouches - I was not going to be fasting. </p>
<p>The ascent up the mountain was slow and unpleasant, the same as always. I tromped through the deep snowdrifts, sliding over hidden rocks and ice. </p>
<p>High up in the sky I could feel the supernova. It’s light still hadn’t reached us. </p>
<p>It was strange to think I had been there when it happened. Raj and Thrall and I were the first people to see it. It would still probably take years for it to be spotted, even in the Outer Rim. </p>
<p>A once in a lifetime event. Death and rebirth. </p>
<p>It was already dark by the time I made it above the treeline. The wind was bitterly cold, managing to find its way through my layers and pulling strands of hair from my hat. I trudged forward. </p>
<p>I kept my awareness extended, <i>feeling</i> for the crystals and the entrance to the cavern. </p>
<p>Thankfully, they hadn’t been mined. Yet. </p>
<p>I took a breather inside the cave, setting my lantern on the ground. I ate a couple of calorie pouches, washing the bland chalky taste down with water. </p>
<p>There was a tremor of fear as I remembered my first time here. </p>
<p>I was here alone. No one knew that I had gone out to the caves specifically. If I let myself travel too deep into my meditation, there was a chance I could go mad - aving alone in the tunnels. </p>
<p>The last time I was here, Yuri, Adram, and Ren had been a welcome distraction. They had helped me to keep focus, which saved me from being led astray by the powerful energy. </p>
<p>I had an intention for this trip. I hoped it would be enough to keep me from losing myself.  </p>
<p>Slowly, carefully, I approached the lip to the cavern below. I could feel the cool drafts of air, blowing upwards. I sat on my ass, and scooted to the edge, allowing my feet and calves to dangle freely. </p>
<p>I sat still, and breathed, gathering myself. </p>
<p>Ymir’s words returned to me, ‘I’m fascinated to see the kind of Sith you will become.’</p>
<p>So much had happened since Korriban. I had lost my way, allowing myself to get distracted, time and time again. I was caught up by the wealth and glamour of being Ymir’s student. Then, I wanted to reconnect with my friends, my old life. I wanted to carve out my place in the First Order. I had allowed myself to focus entirely on schemes - the small familiar ones in the working in my old criminal networks, and the big one with Raj and Snoke.  </p>
<p>I needed to return to my goal.</p>
<p>With resolve settled over my heart, I moved away from the rock lip and set up my rope. </p>
<p>I hooked the electric lantern to my harness and began the descent into the cave. </p>
<p>
  <b>II</b>
</p>
<p>I left my jacket and backpack with the rope and began to explore the cavern. </p>
<p>I extended my awareness, allowing my mind to drift into a meditative state as I walked. </p>
<p>The energy of the Kyber crystals felt like a song. It was a melancholy sound. It made my heart break to hear it. </p>
<p>My walk became a kind of dance, moving my feet and hips to the rhythm of it. My body was in tune with the energy. I found myself humming softly along to the strange, formless melody, appreciating the buzz in my chest as I made sound. </p>
<p>From the outside, I must have looked like a madwoman, but I didn’t care. It was just me here. </p>
<p>I needed to delve into the Force. I needed to understand. </p>
<p>Eventually, I found a place that made me want to sit. It was a smooth patch of stone, surrounded by collapsed towers of crystals. I climbed over the jagged formations, careful not to grab a sharp edge, or impale my feet. </p>
<p>I took a seat, setting the lantern in front of me. </p>
<p>The lantern was the only light in the darkness. It shimmered off a thousand crystal facets, ruby-red around me. </p>
<p>With crossed legs and my eyes gently out of focus, I <i>reached</i> for the Light. </p>
<p>The Darkside was there. I could feel it, ever-present. </p>
<p>I listened to its grumbles and howls. The sounds had a mocking edge to them. </p>
<p>I gritted my teeth, striving forward, focusing on the lantern for inspiration. </p>
<p>I remembered the door from my dream, the clear outline of light along the edges. But every time I opened the door I only found darkness. </p>
<p>I remembered my meditation with Ren on Otomok - that ball of Light that I had <i>stretched</i> and <i>bent</i>. I had warped it, tainting it as I tried to understand it. </p>
<p>The Light was passive. </p>
<p>I took another breath. My eyelids were heavy, my vision fuzzy. </p>
<p>The Light wasn’t something to be achieved or fought for, it simply existed…</p>
<p>I sat, trying to draw stillness to myself, breathing in the air of the cave. </p>
<p>It was the opposite of what I was used to with the Darkside. I was used to diving into the meditation, like I was jumping into an ocean. </p>
<p>Now, I tried to make the meditation come to me. </p>
<p>With my eyes half-open, the crystals shimmered like a mirage, reflecting lantern light. </p>
<p>For a moment, I imagined that I was inside of a crystal, swallowed whole within a red lattice. </p>
<p>One breath in. One breath out. </p>
<p>One breath in. One breath out. </p>
<p>I kept wanting to <i>reach</i> and <i>push</i> for the sensation. </p>
<p>As I breathed, the tone of the Kyber melody was shifting into something more faint and gentle. </p>
<p>I tried to keep myself open, but I felt the Darkside rising, calling for me.</p>
<p>I sat in the discomfort and tension, determined to find my way and experience the Light.</p>
<p>Time grew long, syrupy slow. </p>
<p>I listened to the energy from the Kyber crystals. My eyes stayed softly focused on the light. </p>
<p>My mind was quiet. </p>
<p>From this quiet, an impression rose - a clear vision within my mind. </p>
<p>There was an imbalance in the Force. </p>
<p>The Light had become weak. </p>
<p>I could hear the Darkside, gnashing and clawing pridefully in my heart. </p>
<p>The Light had no followers. Its energy existed without a conduit. </p>
<p>Ymir had returned to Korriban, exploring the imprints of Darkside energy in the Valley. He had shown me the darkness inside of myself. He had turned Ben Solo, helping to create Kylo Ren. </p>
<p>Luke hadn’t just fled. He had closed himself off from the Force. </p>
<p>Thoughts came faster, rushing like a stream inside my mind. </p>
<p>I could feel the Darkside’s greed and hunger. </p>
<p>Ymir was training Sith, no longer following the Rule of Two. We were growing stronger. One day there would be many Sith, drawing from the Darkside, sacrificing themselves for power. </p>
<p>Ymir and Ren would turn this planet into a weapon, and the Galaxy would bend the knee or face destruction. </p>
<p>I found myself surrounded by inky blackness, tendrils wisping across my face and hands. </p>
<p>My heart was open to the Darkside. The only connection I had ever known. </p>
<p>It wanted to consume. It would always need more, as inevitable as the tide.</p>
<p>I felt the imbalance. </p>
<p>The Light was passive, pure existence, without desire or attachment. The Light simply was. </p>
<p>The Dark consumed. </p>
<p>The Dark demanded, and the Light staved it off. The Light kept the tide at bay. </p>
<p>Ymir was tipping the scales. He would bring the Galaxy under his control, an extension of the Darkside. Kylo Ren would kill the last Jedi, and Darkness would spread. </p>
<p>This wasn’t how it was meant to be. There had to be a push and pull. </p>
<p>Balance.</p>
<p>Without the Light, the Darkside would chew up the Galaxy, just as Ymir was chewing up this planet. </p>
<p>I opened my eyes, only just realizing they had been closed. </p>
<p>I breathed. I took in the knowledge without panic or fear. I continued to pull in steady breaths, keeping myself calm. </p>
<p>I hadn’t connected with the Light, not really. It was like I was trying to fix an engine, and I found where a part was missing. I could see its absence. </p>
<p>After another breath I turned off the lantern and returned to my meditation, dropping myself into the murky depths of the Darkside. </p>
<p>It <i>pulled</i> at me, tugging at my limbs, at my heart. </p>
<p>Drifting in this space, I thought about the imbalance in the Force. I thought about Ymir’s plan for conquest and power, about Raj and Snoke shoring themselves up.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Ymir will give you everything.</p>
</blockquote><p>I whispered, my voice faint in my own ears. </p>
<p>I could feel something, a cross between water and smoke, sliding between my fingers. The grumbles, shrieks, and keening continued.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Ymir will give you billions of deaths. He won’t stop.</p>
</blockquote><p>I said, doggedly pressing on. </p>
<p>My throat and chest felt tight. I didn’t desire conquest. I didn’t want that kind of power. I wasn’t able to give the Darkside what Ymir could. </p>
<p>The Darkside responded.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Will you give yourself to me?</p>
</blockquote><p>The answer was a deep rumble. I felt its vibrations and understood the meaning of the sounds. </p>
<p>Tears were squeezing out of the corners of my eyes. </p>
<p>I couldn’t give it an answer. My mind conjured up sentences, ‘Not yet... I can’t... What will happen to me?’</p>
<p>It was fear again - my constant companion. </p>
<p>I wasn’t ready to lose myself. </p>
<p>For the first time in my life, I had something. I wasn’t ready to give it up, not yet.</p>
<p>A sound that wasn’t laughter bubbled up around me, mocking my demands and my fear. </p>
<p>Feeling humbled, I returned from the meditation and opened my eyes. </p>
<p>I was just a girl, sitting in a cave, alone in the dark. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I wandered through the cavern for what felt like an hours, trying to find the place where I had meditated the first time here or the spot where I had sat with Yuri, Adram, and Ren. </p>
<p>I couldn’t find either place. It was like something from a dream. </p>
<p>Eventually, I made my way back to the entrance. </p>
<p>The ascent from the cavern was slow and awkward; frog-walking up a rope was never graceful or enjoyable. But it was less difficult than I was used to - this was the first time I was making the ascent without a wound. I was grateful for the small things. </p>
<p>It was still dark when I began to descend the mountain. </p>
<p>When I arrived back at the Base, the recruits were just being woken up for morning drills. I heard the sound of scrambling feet and barked orders from the barracks. They weren’t even outside yet. </p>
<p>The floodlights blazed over the yard, creating a misty halo overhead. </p>
<p>I returned to the equipment room, dropping off the backpack with a low-ranking officer. </p>
<p>As I made my way to the hangar, I crossed paths with Phasma.. When she spotted me, she made a rigid salute, standing tall in her chrome armor. </p>
<p>I gave her a respectful nod in return and approached her, “How’s the new batch of recruits?” I asked. </p>
<p>Phasma wasn’t prepared for a casual question. </p>
<p>“We’re three weeks into basic,” she replied uncomfortably. </p>
<p>“Where’d our folks from Fedje wind up?” I asked. </p>
<p>“Most of them are in the Mid-rim with General Tay and Admiral Josto,” Phasma answered. </p>
<p>There were the sounds of boots on snow covered cement now, drill sergeants commanding their units into the unforgiving weather. </p>
<p>I turned to watch the conscripts pouring out into the pre-dawn, only wearing a layer of thermals, their heads closely shorn. </p>
<p>“Another ten thousand?” I asked Phasma. </p>
<p>“That’s right,” she replied. A few moments passed.“I’m…” she paused, halting awkwardly, “The last time we talked… I shouldn’t have said... those things.”</p>
<p>Apologies were clearly not one of her skills. I decided to throw her a lifeline.</p>
<p>“Look, you were out of line. I was drunk. Let’s just forget about it,” I said. </p>
<p>“Thank you, madam,” Phasma said, with a curt nod of her chrome helmet. </p>
<p>I patted her armored upper arm as I passed, continuing into the hangar. </p>
<p>It looked like Hux was making good on his promise. I don’t know if my relationship with Phasma could be salvaged at this point, but it was a start. </p>
<p>Inside Sawai, I cleared myself for take-off and alerted The Finalizer that I would be arriving. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I could feel the nova, blazing in the space beyond the massive Star Destroyer. </p>
<p>It was hard to believe that I had been there, just a few days ago. </p>
<p>Ren couldn’t know anything about that trip. I planned to keep my word. Knowing would only cause problems for him. Things would be much easier for me if I just kept my mouth shut. </p>
<p>As I landed in the hangar, I remembered to check my comms. The usual welcome party was waiting for me outside. </p>
<p>Ahobri had sent a line: [I’m so sorry we missed your call. We’re headed out to Be’ekk. I look forward to talking to you. With love.]</p>
<p>I had changed out of my thermals and heavy layers. When I left the ship I was dressed in dark utility pants and a long-sleeved black shirt. </p>
<p>When I exited Sawai I was greeted by a unit of stormtroopers and two officers that I recognized. I couldn’t remember their names. </p>
<p>They made a salute as I approached. </p>
<p>I was already tired of this, the endless formalities. I shook hands, pretending to know who the two officers were. I had seen them on the bridge, but we had never talked. </p>
<p>“Where’s Ren?” I asked, trying my hardest not to yawn. </p>
<p>The lack of sleep was finally catching up to me. </p>
<p>“Kylo Ren is in training room C-11,” the female officer replied. </p>
<p>“Thanks,” I replied, “My pilot, Thess, is she here?”</p>
<p>The officers looked at each other, trying to mask their confusion. </p>
<p>“Okay,” I said, “There’s going to be a girl coming in with my other ship, Rosie. Clear a spot for the ship here, and set up a room up for her. Something nice, with a window.”</p>
<p>“Yes, madam,” the male officer replied. </p>
<p>I figured I’d let Ren know I was here. I set off towards the elevator to find his training room. </p>
<p>The Star Destroyer was feeling familiar. I was used to the organized bustling of the ship. The officers, stormtroopers, and sleek black droids - everyone had a task, a schedule, and a purpose. </p>
<p>I made my way down to the training hangar in my civilian clothes, hair wrapped in a braid, my lightsabers prominent on my belt. </p>
<p>When I buzzed myself in, I found Ren practicing a lightsaber routine on the other side of the room. As soon as the doors opened, he whirled around angrily. It was fun watching his expression change.</p>
<p>“Siobhan,” he said, catching himself, his crimson ‘saber blazing in his hand, “When did… you get in?” he asked, out of breath. He pushed his long hair back. He was shirtless. His chest was sweaty. Black hair was sticking to the sides of his face.</p>
<p>“Just now,” I answered, striding confidently into the room. </p>
<p>I liked catching him by surprise. </p>
<p>“Are you here to train?” Ren asked. His sloping muscular shoulders rose and fell with each breath. </p>
<p>“Sure,” I replied with an easy grin, taking my lightsabers in hand. </p>
<p>We squared off. I realized that it had been over a week since I had left The Finalizer - even then, I had only been here for a day. </p>
<p>Our sparring was a smooth re-introduction. </p>
<p>I enjoyed the give and take, the motions of our boots across the floor. </p>
<p>“What were you doing on Starkiller Base?” Ren asked, as he easily blocked one of my swings. </p>
<p>“I was meditating in the caves,” I answered. </p>
<p>“You went planet-side, to meditate alone?” Ren replied, with a sharp teasing grin, going on the offensive. </p>
<p>“I did.” I blocked his movement, needing to retreat. </p>
<p>Our blades hummed and clashed. It was playful. It seemed like Ren had learned his lesson about trying to bully me. </p>
<p>“I wouldn’t expect… you to go there... on your own,” he said, pressing the attack, “How was it?”</p>
<p>“I tried to explore the Light,” I answered. </p>
<p>My answer distracted Ren for long enough to leave an opening. I pressed forward, putting him on the defensive. He blocked my green blades. He continued to back up as they arced gracefully in my hands. </p>
<p>“Why?” Ren asked with a sour expression. His sweaty hair was beginning to wave in front of his face. </p>
<p>“I was curious.”</p>
<p>Ren held up his sword vertically, a formal signal to end the match. </p>
<p>I deactivated my blades. </p>
<p>Ren hooked his lightsaber to his belt and pushed his hair back with a large sweeping movement of his arm. </p>
<p>“You went all the way to the Kyber caves to explore the Light?” he asked, mouth twisting down, brows drawing together. </p>
<p>I flopped down on the ground, propping myself up on my arms, legs splayed out in front of me. “I got a wild hair,” I said with a casual grin. </p>
<p>“What did you experience?” Ren asked, taking a seat next to me, legs crossed. </p>
<p>“Nothing,” I answered. </p>
<p>Ren gave me a push, his large hand firm against my shoulder, not knowing what else to do with his irritation. “Come on,” he said.</p>
<p>“I didn’t feel a damn thing,” I said, “I tried to empty my thoughts, just let it come to me, but there was nothing.”</p>
<p>Ren shook his head, frustrated by my attitude. “I’m sure you felt the star that went nova,” he said, after a moment.</p>
<p>“It’s incredible,” I said. I didn’t just feel it, I had seen it.</p>
<p>“I felt it when it happened, before our sensors picked it up,” Ren said, “Were you able to sense it?”</p>
<p>“I was in hyperspace,” I lied, “I didn’t know about it until I got here.”</p>
<p>“Let me show you,” Ren said, leaning towards me for a kiss. </p>
<p>His lips were soft against mine. I tasted salt on my tongue. I felt Ren <i>reaching</i> towards me and I let him in. As we pressed close together, I felt his impression of the nova - a shift in energy, from very far away, then a sudden surging, blooming, expansion. </p>
<p>Ren’s hand was at the side of my face, gently tracing the curve of my cheek. </p>
<p>He felt what I felt, the death that was a rebirth. </p>
<p>It was a connection to the Light side of the Force. </p>
<p>“Is that why you wanted to delve into the Light?” Ren asked, lips brushing against mine. </p>
<p>“Maybe,” I said, nipping at his lower lip. </p>
<p>Ren’s hands were on my shoulders, sliding down my upper arms. </p>
<p>Slowly, he pushed me to the ground, his lips tracing a path down my neck. </p>
<p>Goosebumps traveled down my arms, down my spine. </p>
<p>Ren was on top of me, his hips between my legs. I liked feeling his weight. I liked the way the muscles in his shoulders moved, smooth and coiling. </p>
<p>He pulled off my shirt, his fingers slipping on the clasp of my bra. He was hard already, his cock pushing at the front of his pants. His sweaty hair was like a curtain on either side of his face. </p>
<p>I ran my hand along his length, straining against the fabric, and he sighed. </p>
<p>It had been weeks since we had sex, Ren was impatient, needy. </p>
<p>We fucked on the floor, my hands and knees braced against the metal. Ren fucked me hard, grunting as he bottomed out. One hand was on my hip, the other was pawing at my breasts. </p>
<p>We moved to a supply crate, with Ren on top of me, hands pinning my thighs back. </p>
<p>I sighed and gasped and cried out his name, then he was spilling into me, his orgasm making his cock throb. </p>
<p>“Gods! Siobhan!” Ren growled, pushing deeply inside of me as the wave subsided. </p>
<p>He slipped from me, his cock wet and half-hard. He took a seat next to me on top of the crate while I pushed myself upright. </p>
<p>Ren was leaning forward, his hands on his thighs. He looked towards me with light in his dark eyes. </p>
<p>I gazed back at him. His expression grew more thoughtful.</p>
<p>He ran his knuckles softly down my cheek. “You’re different,” he said. His voice was soft, “What’s going on?”</p>
<p>I took a careful breath. It would be easy to lie and say that he was imagining things. It would be easy to deflect with a sarcastic comment, distracting him. </p>
<p>I chose to open up. Just one little sliver. </p>
<p>“I’ve been exploring the Darkside, and I found… something,” I admitted. </p>
<p>We were both naked, sitting on top of a heavy-duty supply crate. I could feel Ren’s come just starting to drip out of me as I sat. I could still taste his sweat on my tongue. </p>
<p>“What did you find?” he asked, turning towards me, taking one of my hands in his. </p>
<p>Gods, it was not my first instinct to answer him honestly. </p>
<p>“It feels…” I paused, “It feels like I’m entering a well, or a dark pit, it’s infinite, and… and it’s real. Like I can touch it.”</p>
<p>I was staring at the ground. The soles of my feet were cold against the dark metal, “Do you know what I’m talking about?”</p>
<p>Ren gave my hand a slight squeeze, “Yes, it’s like sinking into a shadow. It’s like smoke, or an ocean, but it’s none of those things.”</p>
<p>I nodded, appreciating his words. “I just... I only felt it for the first time recently.”</p>
<p>Ren pushed a lock of my hair behind my ear, “That’s what I felt from you when I tied you up,” he said, “You were in my arms, but you felt so far away.”</p>
<p>I leaned against him, my head on his shoulder, “I didn’t realize how much I didn’t know.”</p>
<p>Ren kissed the top of my head, “You like to pretend you know everything,” he teased. </p>
<p>I scowled, pinching his thigh. </p>
<p>“It can be overwhelming at first,” he said, more kindly now. </p>
<p>“I thought I had experienced everything on Korriban. I feel different.”</p>
<p>“There’s always more,” Ren said, climbing to his feet. He offered me his hand, “We’ll train together. How long are you here?”</p>
<p>“Longer than last time,” I said, retrieving my clothes from the floor. </p>
<p>Ren was tugging on his underwear. </p>
<p>“I’m in between assignments,” I said, putting on my bra, “Ymir wants me to monitor data from the probes. I heard he sent Yuri and your other Knights to the Outer Rim.”</p>
<p>“They’ll be returning tomorrow,” Ren said, as he pulled on his black shirt, “They didn’t find any evidence that the Resistance was mobilizing.” </p>
<p>Ren put on his mask and we left the training room together to go up to our quarters. He needed to prepare for duty on the bridge. I was going to shower and sleep for a few hours. </p>
<p>My room felt stale and empty. I was surrounded by blank metal walls, a bed with crisp sheets that had barely been slept in. It couldn’t be more different from Artrix. </p>
<p>I missed having Thess and Yuri in here. It made the starship feel less lonely. </p>
<p>I dropped off into bed, wondering what kind of dreams I would have. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>What felt like moments later, I was jerked awake to an alert on my console. </p>
<p>I groped around for a light, then pulled on my shirt and a pair of underwear. </p>
<p>I opened the door without using the intercom, figuring it was Ren. </p>
<p>Thess stood in the hall, a large kitbag in hand. She was dressed in familiar clothes - her leather jacket and utility pants over a blue tunic. </p>
<p>“Sorry!” she exclaimed. </p>
<p>I stood carelessly in my underwear, rubbing my eyes. “No problem,” I said, taking a step back, “Want to come in?”</p>
<p>“Sleeping?” Thess asked, gingerly stepping inside. </p>
<p>“Yeah, but I like this room better when you’re here,” I said flopping down into a chair, “Help yourself to the liquor cabinet. You just get in?” </p>
<p>Thess set her kit bag down next to the sofa, and poured us both a finger of whiskey. </p>
<p>“Yah,” she said, handing me a glass, “I stay later with family.” </p>
<p>I could immediately tell how much this trip had done for her. There was a brightness about her that I hadn’t seen before. She stood up straighter. She looked more confident with her head up and shoulders back. </p>
<p>“Tell me about your trip,” I said, as we touched glasses. </p>
<p>Thess took a seat on the sofa. </p>
<p>“Mother doing better,” Thess said, her words tumbling out in a rush, “Medicine too much money. Only sometimes she have it. Now she have what need. Might not be sick.”</p>
<p>She choked back a sudden sob, surprised by her own tears. </p>
<p>I moved to her side, wrapping her in a hug. </p>
<p>“I’m happy,” she said, roughly wiping at her eyes with the heel of her hand. </p>
<p>“Good,” I said, “I’m glad your mother is doing better.”</p>
<p>She sniffed and wiped her eyes some more, trying to compose herself. </p>
<p>“I see my Uncle,” Thess continued, “Brothers and sisters come to farm, but not good for many Ithan, and spend last day with them.”</p>
<p>I didn’t exactly understand what Thess meant, but I didn’t want to make her repeat herself. </p>
<p>“So you spent the last couple of days with your sisters and brothers?” I said. </p>
<p>“We on family ship,” she said, beginning to brighten again, “We drink and dance, but not like you fancy friends.”</p>
<p>I laughed, “How are your brothers and sisters?”</p>
<p>“They okay, work come and go,” Thess said, “They see Smuggler’s Alliance moving.”</p>
<p>“Oh?” I said. I was not expecting us to be talking about work.</p>
<p>“Supply changes. Other group move in. See difference.”</p>
<p>“I might have some more questions for you about that,” I said, “I mean, Fedje is way out in the sticks.”</p>
<p>“They ask for First Order code. Hide from military ship.”</p>
<p>“And what did you tell them?” I asked. </p>
<p>Thess shrugged, “I make fake code. Passable,” she answered. </p>
<p>I grinned at her. </p>
<p>Thess grew more serious, “Family grateful for you. I say you give money. I say nice friends. I say you help me.” She stopped abruptly to lean over and begin digging around in her kitbag. </p>
<p>I waited, with my drink resting on my knee. </p>
<p>Thess rose up with a narrow wooden box in hand, maybe half a meter long. </p>
<p>She set it in her lap and looked up at me with her haunting yellow gaze, “I want to make tattoo, for family friend. Say thank you.”</p>
<p>“Thess…” I said, taking her hand, feeling my own tears pushing at my lower lids, “I’d be honored.”</p>
<p>She wiped at her eyes again before any could make it down her cheeks. “There tattoo for family friend,” she said, pushing up the sleeve of her jacket on her right arm. </p>
<p>I saw a band of symbols around the wider part of her forearm, right beneath the elbow. She pointed at the top band, it was a stripe with panded lines extending from it, “This symbol for Ithan.” She pointed to the middle, “This family symbol,” it was a series of interlaced triangles, sections of the pattern were filled in with black. “This my family, living,” she said, pointing to a final band, a complicated pattern of lines and dots. </p>
<p>Thess opened the box. Inside was a very simple instrument. It was a metal rod, with a wooden handle on one end and a place for the needles to be attached at the other. The needles looked almost like a brush, narrow and sharp.  It was primitive, but it worked. </p>
<p>I’d be tattooed the old-fashioned way, hand guided needles punching ink through the first layers of my skin. </p>
<p>I already knew it would hurt like a bitch. Still, it was more sophisticated than what I did to myself on Korriban. </p>
<p>After showing me the equipment, Thess took a hold of my arm, pushing up the long sleeve of my shirt, “You… not… same, but…”</p>
<p>She struggled to find the word. </p>
<p>“It’s similar, but not the same tattoo?” I said. </p>
<p>She nodded, pressing a finger where each band would go, “One mark Ithan, one mark friend, one mark my family, Cero.” </p>
<p>“I don’t think I deserve something like that,” I said, shaking my head. </p>
<p>“I do,” she replied, giving me a very firm look. </p>
<p>I hugged the girl and she hugged me back. </p>
<p>
  <b>III</b>
</p>
<p>We agreed that she would tattoo me later in the day. I needed to go to the bridge and at least pretend to get some work done. She needed to rest for a while - I knew how exhausting it was to travel alone in hyperspace for twelve hours. </p>
<p>I showered and made my way up to the bridge. </p>
<p>Ren and Hux were there. </p>
<p>I decided we should have a sit-down about their mishandling of my expansion strategy. Both were stunned that anyone had noticed the First Order’s presence in those systems. </p>
<p>Ren found it hard to believe that someone would notice a shuttle that had barely been around for two days. </p>
<p>Exercising every ounce of patience I had, I explained how people were constantly on the alert for the First Order, and any sighting put people on edge. </p>
<p>I reminded them that flyovers were test runs to see what areas had the biggest concerns, so that we could potentially get in front of any acts of aggression. </p>
<p>Hux was stiff and polite, agreeing with everything I said. It was so nice to know that he was still scared of me. </p>
<p>After the meeting, I began reviewing fresh data from the probes I had dropped. The Hutts and Smugglers Alliance were playing nice. It looked like the scattered warlords were our most immediate threat. </p>
<p>While the Resistance would wait to make a coordinated attack, the warlords would strike without warning - surprise was their only advantage. </p>
<p>This was so much better than sitting in a cockpit, manually scanning through comms channels, relying only on my ears and attention span. </p>
<p>I spent a solid two hours in a sunken console bay on the bridge, headphones around my ears, watching data move across the screen. </p>
<p>Unexpectedly, Ren was the one to pull me from my work. </p>
<p>“I’m going up,” he said, his voice monotone through the ‘feed of his mask. </p>
<p>It took a second to realize what he meant. He wanted me to go up with him. </p>
<p>I was happy for an excuse to leave the bridge. We travelled together up to our floor. </p>
<p>I stopped in front of my room. </p>
<p>Ren took my hand. “Come with me,” he urged. </p>
<p>I was glad to have an excuse. I didn’t want to get stuck spending all my nights in his bed. </p>
<p>“Thess is coming up in a bit,” I said, opening the door. </p>
<p>“Thess?” Ren said, and I could hear his confusion. </p>
<p>“Yeah, girltime,” I replied, with a cheeky grin.  </p>
<p>I left him standing there in the hall while I closed the door. </p>
<p>For once, I’d play hard to get. </p>
<p>I messaged Thess from the console, then poured a glass of whiskey and went to the shower. </p>
<p>I dressed in comfortable clothes, leaving my arms bare. </p>
<p>Thess was in the sitting room when I came out. She had the narrow wooden box across her lap and a thin pallet folded at her feet. </p>
<p>“Drinking no good,” she said, eyes flickering down to the empty glass. </p>
<p>“It was just the one,” I said. </p>
<p>“Bleed too much and I stop,” she replied. </p>
<p>We set up on the floor of my bedroom. </p>
<p>Thess brought in the holoprojector to play music. She had me lay down, and began applying disinfectant. She attached the needlepoint tip to the small metal rod. </p>
<p>Black ink was in a small wooden box. She dropped water over the ink block and ran the needles over it with smooth, practiced motions. When the needles were coated with a rich black ink she put her fingers against my skin, stretching it taut. </p>
<p>“I begin,” she said. </p>
<p>She didn’t need to tell me it would hurt. </p>
<p>Thess started with me on my back, prodding at the sensitive underside of my arm first, driving the needles through my skin. Her arm sawed back and forth in a steady motion. Her thumb acted as the fulcrum and guide for the instrument. </p>
<p>The needles were harsh as they jabbed against me. Pain flashed red behind my eyes and I exhaled with a sighing growl as she worked the needles into my flesh. .</p>
<p>She worked the instrument with deliberate motions, finding a rhythm. There was a savage regularity to it. I fought the urge to hiss. She only paused to roughly wipe away the blood and ink, using a small cloth - soon it was stained with many black and red smudges.</p>
<p>My skin burned and stung. </p>
<p>I relaxed into the feeling, my eyes closing, breath slowing. A warm, distant fuzziness settled over my mind as I opened myself up to the pain. </p>
<p>Thess only spoke to give me instructions on how to position myself, or to make sure I was doing alright. </p>
<p>She found me very easy to move, and, for the very first time, almost completely silent. </p>
<p>Music played in the background. I recognized some of my songs. </p>
<p>I breathed, and allowed myself to feel every uncomfortable sensation. It was meditative - blinding and freeing at the same time. </p>
<p>Thess kept her gaze intensely focused on me as her right arm pumped a regular pattern into my skin. All of her work was done freehand, and the designs were precise. She worked with perfect concentration. </p>
<p>I was peaceful. My head softly swayed under the brutal, deliberate motions. I drifted in waves of agony, pulling myself down into the Force. </p>
<p>It had become so familiar now. I practiced giving the Darkside a part of myself. Pain moved through me and into the void. </p>
<p>When Thess was done, I was in a foolish state of bliss. My eyelids were heavy, and I felt a sleepy smile on my face. </p>
<p>She carefully washed my arm a final time. She wasn’t gentle with the raw and open skin. </p>
<p>Thess turned the music off, “It hurt bad tomorrow,” she said, “Swell. Bruise. You rub on it,” she put a little round jar in my hand, “Never scratch, that come after, bad itching, yah.”</p>
<p>“Can you tell me all that again tomorrow?” I asked, cradling my freshly tattooed forearm against my chest. </p>
<p>“Yah, I get food for us.”</p>
<p>I wasn’t hungry. I just wanted to sleep. </p>
<p>“Thess, you can eat, but I’m headed to bed,” I said, slowly moving into a sitting position. </p>
<p>“No, eat something,” she said firmly. </p>
<p>I obeyed. </p>
<p>Soon, I had a cup of soup in my hands. My arm was burning with pain. </p>
<p>After I ate, Thess helped me into bed, and began to clear her things off the floor. </p>
<p>I was asleep before she left the room. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The next day my console woke me at 0400 for training with Ren.</p>
<p>The tattooed part of my forearm was tender and slightly swollen. I rubbed the salve Thess had given me over the wound, leaving it sticky. I wore a sleeveless shirt, knowing it was better to leave the tattoo uncovered. </p>
<p>We stepped into the hallway at the same time. Ren had his mask on, wearing loose black training clothes. </p>
<p>“What’s that?” he asked, looking down at my forearm, shiny and scabbing.</p>
<p>“It’s a gift. Thess wanted to thank me.”</p>
<p>We entered the elevator, going down. The doors closed around us. </p>
<p>“She did that last night?” Ren said, and I could hear the sneer in his voice. </p>
<p>“Yeah,” I replied, completely unbothered, “It was really simple. She did the whole thing freehand.”</p>
<p>I turned my arm, examining the perfectly symmetrical lines.</p>
<p>Ren didn’t say anything else. I could tell he was annoyed that I had spent the night with Thess instead of with him. </p>
<p>The elevator opened and we headed down the hallway, moving past units of stormtroopers.</p>
<p>“When’s Yuri and crew getting in?” I asked, as we arrived at the training room. </p>
<p>“Around 1400,” Ren answered, “Why?”</p>
<p>“I’m looking forward to seeing Yuri again.”</p>
<p>Physical training was miserable. Ren had his mask off. He had a carefully crafted routine that he guided me through.</p>
<p>My forearm complained every time I needed to support my body weight on it. </p>
<p>I winced and grimaced my way through, giving up entirely on some of the exercises.</p>
<p>“Don’t sit on your ass,” Ren said, “Figure out something else to do if you can’t use your arm.”</p>
<p>With much complaining, he guided me through isometric routines that left my calves and quads trembling. </p>
<p>After conditioning, Ren didn’t let me off the hook for sparring practice. I decided to keep my right arm out of the equation, and relied on my left arm entirely. </p>
<p>I found myself having fun, grinning through the challenge of using my non-dominant arm. </p>
<p>Ren relied on overpowering his opponents. I was faster, and he wasn’t used to fending off attacks from someone fighting left-handed. </p>
<p>Our matches played out more evenly than I expected. </p>
<p>In the back of my mind, I wondered if I would have to go through him when I finally fought Ymir. </p>
<p>The more difficult thought was what might happen if I was successful. What would happen if I killed Ymir, Snoke, and Raj - and Ren and I were still alive? </p>
<p>I shoved that thought away. </p>
<p>At the end of our physical practice, we were sweating and exhausted. We settled into meditation together. </p>
<p>I knelt, sitting on my heels, while Ren took a cross legged seat in front of me. </p>
<p>We dropped in together, and I felt the darkness lapping at me. I could feel Ren sinking in alongside. I felt his effort. </p>
<p>It was harder to stay cloaked in this space. </p>
<p>I didn’t want Ren to see into my heart. I didn’t want him to feel my resolve. I didn’t want him to discover my lies. </p>
<p>Here, Ren’s attachment to the Light was magnified. I could feel it inside of him, that passive glowing energy. In the Light, there was no death. The Darkness only knew how to consume and destroy. </p>
<p>Those two halves made up the Force. They were distinct and inseparable.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Ren, show me the Light.</p>
</blockquote>I said, <i>reaching</i> for his hand in this deep space of meditation.<p>Ren looked at me. It was like we were standing in a dark fire, flames lapping at us, touching our skin without burning. </p>
<p>I felt his surging anger and shame at my request.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>What I wouldn’t give to have your connection with the Darkside. And you want me to show you the Light?</p>
</blockquote>His voice was a snarl, vicious and pained.<p>I held his hand, even as he tried to <i>pull</i> away.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>I could feel it from the star, but I couldn’t connect to it.</p>
</blockquote>I said.<p>Surrounded by darkness, the keening, demanding energy of the Darkside, I felt a shift wash over me.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Then reach for the nova with me.</p>
</blockquote>Ren’s voice was a surly grumble in my mind.<p>We <i>reached</i> for the nova together, still burning strong. </p>
<p>I was awash in sensation. The combined energy of the Dark and Light. </p>
<p>In the Light, I felt a stronger sense of connection to the patterns and rhythms of the universe. Through the Darkside, I felt the webs and threads of power, laid out for me to take a hold of. The Light was passive, like I was a vessel, experiencing the energy flowing through me.</p>
<p>It was uncomfortable. </p>
<p>I needed to touch it, to move in it. I wanted to explore it more deeply. </p>
<p>I began to <i>extend</i> myself towards it, like holding my fingertips near a flame. </p>
<p>Ren laughed and we dropped out of the meditation together. </p>
<p>“You’re awful at this,” he said, lines appearing around his mouth as he smiled. </p>
<p>“You’re just supposed to what? Just sit there and wait for something to happen?”</p>
<p>“That’s exactly what you have to do,” Ren said, reining in his expression, “You are supposed to be a conduit for the energy, it should move freely through you.”</p>
<p>I could tell he was quoting something, his tone was much more bitter. </p>
<p>There were a thousand questions running through my mind. I wanted to know if Ren could feel an imbalance in the Force. I wanted to know if the Darkside ever talked to him in meditation. I wanted to know what he had sacrificed to it. </p>
<p>He had given up his name. He kept his face covered in a mask. He had a decade of experience on me, certainly he had some answers. </p>
<p>But I didn’t want to give myself away. </p>
<p>I took a breath. “This is a lonely path.” </p>
<p>Ren fixed me with a look. </p>
<p>“After the meeting with the Smuggler’s Alliance, I was with Ekene and... Thess,” I said, catching myself before I said Ahobri’s name, “We were at a party, surrounded by people, and I felt completely alone.”</p>
<p>“They don’t understand us, and so they fear us,” Ren said, taking my hand. </p>
<p>“My old crew with the Smuggler’s Alliance, the Hutts, none of them know. They don’t treat me any differently,” I said. </p>
<p>“Do you miss it?” </p>
<p>I shook my head. “It’s like wearing a muzzle,” I said with a grin, “I’m sick of playing nice with them, but I have to stay undercover.”</p>
<p>We kissed, tender with one another. </p>
<p>It was the closest I would come to saying I understood Ren. He was a Skywalker - the outcast son of General Organa and the legend, Han Solo. He had always been set apart, and he always would be. </p>
<p>For all my life I had been a nobody, and there were still many people who knew me as that. </p>
<p>It was its own kind of freedom. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>After training, Ren and I had work to do. </p>
<p>He went straight to the bridge, while I made a stop by Sawai to check my comms. I brought my tablet, so I could sync the devices - I didn’t want to have to go to my ship to know if people were trying to contact me. </p>
<p>There weren’t any new messages, so I reached out to Ahobri. </p>
<p>Thankfully, she answered this time. It looked like she was on a ship.“Siobhan!” she shouted. </p>
<p>“Fuck, I thought we were going to be playing tag for another week,” I said, “It’s so good to see your face.”</p>
<p>She looked beautiful. Someone had done her make-up. I could see the top of a white halter dress and a gold necklace. </p>
<p>“You too,” Ahobri said, “You look better.”</p>
<p>“Thanks, they’re keeping me under lock and key,” I said, “I haven’t been able to have any real fun since I left you.”</p>
<p>“We’re on Be’ekk. We’ll be seeing a place in a couple of hours. Ekene is here.”</p>
<p>He leaned forward into view of the camera, giving me a wave that I returned. </p>
<p>“So what’s happening now?” Ahobri asked, “Are you on a new assignment?”</p>
<p>“Is this a secure line?” I asked. </p>
<p>“It is,” I heard Ekene say. </p>
<p>“I’m going to be on The Finalizer for a little while. Technically, I’m in between assignments.”</p>
<p>“So you can’t come out and meet us?” Ahobri asked with a small pout. </p>
<p>“Yeah, gotta sit tight for now,” I replied, “We should talk business for a second.”</p>
<p>“What’s on your mind?” Ahobri asked. </p>
<p>“I’m thinking about taking Sul up on his offer.”</p>
<p>Ahobri sighed, “Siobhan, that’s a terrible idea.”</p>
<p>“It might be, but Sul might be able to get us some helpful connections. I think this project can be bigger than just the Hutts and the Smuggler’s Alliance. We could have our own stake in the underground,” I said, letting her see my excitement, “I’m going to talk with Ymir first, but I know Sul wants more, and I have the sense that Verza and Arjun might be cooking up their own scheme.”</p>
<p>“Talk to me before you do anything,” Ahobri said, giving me a warning. </p>
<p>“I will. I promise. That’s why I’m bringing it up now.”</p>
<p>Ahobri gave me a look. </p>
<p>“I promise,” I repeated, “I want to meet up with you if I can. I’ll see if I can get some work that takes me off this ship.”</p>
<p>“I miss you, love. I want to see you,” Ahobri said. </p>
<p>“I miss you too,” I echoed, “Love you.”</p>
<p>Ahobri ended the call. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I entered the bridge, taking the same place in the sunken console bay. </p>
<p>Ren, Hux, and a group of officers were in the briefing room. I made no attempt to join them. I had the feeling I would be sitting in on plenty of boring military meetings while I was here. </p>
<p>My arm was throbbing and stinging. The pain grew worse each time I moved it or accidentally rested it against the console. It was a dull persistent ache that prodded at my mind. </p>
<p>I resumed my work, monitoring comms chatter and processing data the probes had received. </p>
<p>So far, it looked like everyone I had made deals with were holding up their end of the bargain. </p>
<p>I read through newsfeeds, seeing if there were reports of supply line heists from any of the companies I had provided information on. All of them had recorded recent hits. </p>
<p>The Smuggler’s Alliance was flush. I needed to make follow-up calls with them. It would give me the perfect opportunity to start testing the waters with Verza and Arjun. </p>
<p>In the middle of this project, an officer approached. </p>
<p>“M… Madam,” he stammered, with a polite bob of his head, “You pilot is trying to contact you for orders, madam.”</p>
<p>“Is she here?” I asked, looking around, not understanding what he was talking about.</p>
<p>“She’s on a direct line. I can pull it up for you, madam,” he said, pressing some buttons on the console. </p>
<p>Thess’s face pulled up on the screen. She was in her room.</p>
<p>“Hard to find you,” she greeted. </p>
<p>I laughed, and I felt officers glancing around with uncertainty at my casual behavior. </p>
<p>“The officer said you wanted orders?” I said with a grin. </p>
<p>“Sit room all day. Need me?” she asked. </p>
<p>“Sure, come on up to the bridge. We should talk more about what people are noticing on Fedje.”</p>
<p>“See soon,” Thess said, and closed the line. </p>
<p>I waved at her as she entered a few minutes later. An officer formally escorted her over to me. </p>
<p>I loved seeing Thess on the bridge. She was the smallest person in the room, out of place with her plain clothes, and visible tattoos on her face and arms. </p>
<p>I watched how she focused on keeping her shoulders back, chest slightly puffed. It was a nice change from her usual hunched and anxious posture. </p>
<p>“What working on?” she asked, as she climbed down the handful of steps into the console bay. </p>
<p>“Monitoring comms from the probes I sent out. They cover the border of the Mid- and Outer Rim,” I said, motioning for someone to bring her a chair. </p>
<p>“Arm feeling?” Thess asked, taking a seat next to me. </p>
<p>“Hurts like a bitch,” I said with a grimace. </p>
<p>“Use salve, don’t let dry,” she said, taking a look at the fresh scabs and bruising. </p>
<p>We got to work. </p>
<p>I asked Thess about what her family was noticing on Fedje. She had known to keep her mouth shut, and not feed any rumours. Her people had noticed that the Smuggler’s Alliance was moving territory. Smaller groups had come in to fill the void, and there were starting to be small disputes and squabbles over supply lines and hyperspace routes that had been claimed for years. </p>
<p>Ren, Hux, and their group of officers eventually left the briefing room. The two of them started on another task around the central console. Ren glanced my way, noticing me and Thess in the console bay, but he didn’t say anything. </p>
<p>I honed in on data, finding evidence for what Thess said. </p>
<p>Ymir wanted stability and control. I was cooking up an idea to exert our influence across the Mid- and Outer Rim. </p>
<p>Sometime later, there was an announcement that the Knights of Ren had returned. </p>
<p>That was when Ren strode by the console bay. “This concerns your territory, so you should sit in on the debrief,” he said, in his gravelly artificial voice. </p>
<p>“I want Thess to sit in, too,” I said, “She’s been helping me sort through comms data.”</p>
<p>Ren didn’t respond. He turned with a swish of his cloak. </p>
<p>A few minutes later, the three Knights were escorted onto the bridge by an officer. </p>
<p>Thess was peeking up over the lip of the console bay. </p>
<p>I made a casual wave at Yuri, his face covered by his mask. I knew the boxy shape. I recognized Adram, with the triangular pattern of chrome scales at the front of his mask. The last one must be Ghent, with a hood pulled up. </p>
<p>There was a thrill of excitement in the room as they entered. Any change from the regular schedule was a blessing. </p>
<p>I joined Ren and Hux to greet the three men, Thess trailing at my side. </p>
<p>Yuri greeted me warmly, but I could tell his attention was on Thess. He worked his way over to her as our group was ushered into the briefing room. </p>
<p>I found myself seated next to Hux as we found our chairs at the glossy circular table. </p>
<p>“Phasma seems to have warmed back up to me,” I said, deciding to give him some positive feedback. </p>
<p>“That’s very good to hear,” he replied nervously. </p>
<p>Adram and Ren led the briefing. </p>
<p>I hated these things, but I needed to pay attention to what they were doing that might impact my deals.. </p>
<p>They talked through Resistance activity along the Mid- and Outer Rim. Boring stuff.</p>
<p>I discovered that the Knights had been sent out again to keep an eye on Kaige, Amon, Zul, and Yao. These were the four biggest warlords in the Outer Rim. They were known for their aggressive protection of their ‘Systems. </p>
<p>We spent over two hours discussing strategy, methods, and points of concern. </p>
<p>By the end, I was completely wiped, ready to fall asleep at the table. The Knights were dismissed. Ren and Hux went to continue working on the bridge. </p>
<p>“Thess, come and have dinner with me,” I invited, “Yuri, want to have a drink with us?” I said, deciding I wanted to play matchmaker. </p>
<p>I looked over to Adram and Ghent, “I mean, you can have a drink with us too.”</p>
<p>They looked the other way, exiting the briefing room without a word. </p>
<p>What a bunch of assholes. </p>
<p>Yuri made a small shake of his masked face, walking over to me and Thess, “I’d like that,” he said, “I’m going to wash off this hyperspace trip first.”</p>
<p>We rode the elevator up together. </p>
<p>Back inside my rooms, I had Thess request food on the console while I opened a bottle of wine. </p>
<p>“We should talk about a few things before Yuri gets here,” I said, as Thess settled into the couch. </p>
<p>“What?” she asked, looking anxious again. </p>
<p>“I trust Yuri,” I began, “I like him a lot, but, unfortunately, I think we both need to be strategic when we talk to him.”</p>
<p>Thess wasn’t used to lying the way I was. Her expressions and reactions were always right on the surface. </p>
<p>“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to talk about visiting with your family,” I continued, getting right to the point. </p>
<p>Thess gave me a concerned look, tilting her head. </p>
<p>“I bent the rules, allowing you to go see them. You had my personal ship, with my comms and all kinds of information. I let you visit, unsupervised, for almost a week. I didn’t tell Ymir about it. I didn’t tell anyone about it. So I don’t want you talking about it.”</p>
<p>She was nodding along, moving a knuckle in between her teeth, “Risky, maybe tell family secrets.”</p>
<p>“That’s right,” I replied, “Now, I trust you, so I’m fine with that, but it shouldn’t get around. So I want you to tell Yuri you were doing follow-up on one of our deals. You can tell him about Artrix., but I don’t want him to know you were just out visiting with your family.”</p>
<p>Thess gave me a serious look, “Understand.”</p>
<p>“So, I have a request for you,” I said, “I don’t want you to talk about Ahobri. The less the First Order knows about her the better.”</p>
<p>“Protecting friend,” Thess replied. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I don’t want her to get dragged into all of this with me.”</p>
<p>I didn’t want Ymir or Snoke to hurt her. </p>
<p>Thess and I settled in together, moving onto less difficult conversation. </p>
<p>Yuri arrived as we started on our second glass of wine. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry Adram and Ghent are being like that,” Yuri said as he entered. </p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it,” I said, “They made up their minds.”</p>
<p>Yuri looked fresh. His hair was cropped close, and he had just shaved. He wasn’t dressed up, but I had the feeling he had taken time with his clothes, wearing a navy shirt, and tan pants. His boots were shined. </p>
<p>“So what’s the new thing on your arm?” he asked, glancing down at my tattoo shiny and scabbing. </p>
<p>I poured him a glass of wine. </p>
<p>He took a seat on the sofa, leaving distance between himself and Thess. I liked the smile he gave her as he sat down. </p>
<p>“Thess just made this for me last night,” I said, showing off my arm to him, turning it so he can see the design. </p>
<p>“It’s Ithan mark,” Thess said, taking my hand, and pointing out the three different bands. She explained what each of the patterns meant, going into more detail than she gave me. </p>
<p>Yuri wanted to know how she made it, and Thess described the process. While Thess talked, our food was brought up. We ate together around the table. </p>
<p>I learned that tattoos were like a language for the Ithan people. The marks on Thess’s cheeks and hands were made when she was sixteen, to say that she was an adult. More tattoos followed, tracing her family affiliations and rites of passage. She received a tattoo across her chest when she went down to Fedje to take care of her mother, another when she joined the First Order to give money to her family. </p>
<p>I found out that she had a fresh tattoo herself, a geometric flower design where her neck met her shoulders. It was a mark to symbolize how she had provided for her mother and clan. </p>
<p>Yuri hung onto her every word. </p>
<p>I did my best to keep my mouth shut, letting Yuri and Thess talk and catch up. </p>
<p>After our meal, and a final glass of wine, Yuri invited Thess for a walk through the ship. </p>
<p>I noticed Thess fighting a blush as she took his hand. </p>
<p>I was alone again. </p>
<p>I refilled my wine and fell back on the couch. I wasn’t ready to go to sleep yet.</p>
<p>These Star Destroyers were so fucking boring. </p>
<p>My problem was solved when Ren dropped by. He had just wrapped up his work on the bridge. </p>
<p>I took his hand and followed him back to his quarters. </p>
<p>
  <b>IV</b>
</p>
<p>The next morning, Ren, me, and his Knights were all assembled in the training room at 0430. </p>
<p>The Knights were dressed in a mix of training clothes and their formal uniforms. Everyone was masked, except for me. It gave me a strange feeling of nakedness. </p>
<p>I was dying to know what had happened between Yuri and Thess, but there wasn’t a good window to ask. </p>
<p>My forearm was still tender, scabbed, and sore. I stayed off of it as much as possible during our exercises. </p>
<p>I used a single stave during combat practice, strengthening my left arm again. By now, the men had shed their masks and some layers of clothes. </p>
<p>Adram also used a single weapon, an intimidating metal club, and we went for a couple of rounds. I felt his jealousy towards me, at my position as Ymir’s student, and spending the night in Ren’s bed. Still, he held himself back, not being overtly aggressive during our practice. </p>
<p>We had a round of meditation afterwards. Ren and I guided the three Knights, expanding our awareness between the Kyber crystals far below us on Starkiller Base, and the nova, so many lightyears away. </p>
<p>“Yuri and I will be working with our group commanders,” Ren said to me as we ended training, “Are you going to continue your work on the bridge?” </p>
<p>Yuri joined us, putting a friendly hand on my shoulder, “I was talking with Thess, and she said she wanted to join us for flight practice, keep up on her combat skills. Is that alright with you, Siobhan?”</p>
<p>I gave him a smile, “Yeah, of course. She can do whatever she wants.”</p>
<p>Ren made a slight shake of his head before he put on his mask. </p>
<p>Yuri, Ren, and Ghent all left together, and I found myself headed up in the elevator with Adram. </p>
<p>He was still, arms at his side, face covered in his mask. </p>
<p>I decided to see if it was possible for us to be friends - or at least friendlier than this. </p>
<p>“I’ve been thinking about what you told me in the Kyber caves,” I began, “When you said you had to rely on the Darkside to survive. That stuck with me.”</p>
<p>Adram slowly looked my way, face covered by layers of metal and chrome. The lights in the elevator flashed as we rose through the starship. He didn’t respond.</p>
<p>“You said you were captured by slavers. You weren’t taught anything about the Force, it just came to you naturally right?”</p>
<p>“That’s right,” Adram grudgingly answered. </p>
<p>The doors opened, we were on our floor. </p>
<p>“That was what it was like for me,” I said, as we stepped into the hallway. </p>
<p>I noticed Adram swivel his head to check the hallway, seeing if we were alone. </p>
<p>“No one taught me anything about the Force. Ymir killed my father, then left me and my family to fend for ourselves. The Darkside was all I had to rely on. I know what that feels like.”</p>
<p>I stood apart from Adram in the black metal hall, waiting to see if he would accept my peace offering. </p>
<p>“I don’t want to be your friend,” he said. I could hear the tightness in his jaw, “You’re a fellow soldier, that’s all.”</p>
<p>He walked past me, striding to his quarters. </p>
<p>What a little shit. </p>
<p>“I meant what I said,” I called after him, seeing if shame would work. </p>
<p>Adram turned, pointing a black gloved finger at me. “You’re a distraction,” he accused, “You’re a distraction to Kylo Ren. You’re a distraction to Yuri, and I’m not going to be sucked in by this little act.”</p>
<p>My temper was flaring at his disrespectful attitude. I thought of Raj, and how nice it had felt to put him in his place, leaving him gasping on the floor. I was stronger than Adram. I knew I’d win in a fight. </p>
<p>“Jealousy isn’t a good look,” I shot back. </p>
<p>Adram fixed me with a stare before entering his quarters. </p>
<p>I made an angry sigh, and entered mine. Thankfully, I didn’t have to see Adram for the rest of the day. </p>
<p>After showering, I made my way down to Sawai, starting to make follow-up calls with all of my contacts. I didn’t want to risk making calls directly from my tablet. There was no way to know who could be listening in. I felt more secure on my ship. </p>
<p>I talked with Boz, minding my manners and keeping the conversation focused on him. He was feeling happy, but, as always, he was hungry for more information. I tried to probe him, to see if he and Sul were testing me, to see if I would pit them against each other. Boz seemed blissfully unaware that Sul wanted to go behind his back. </p>
<p>My next call was to Tynne. He was gruff and businesslike, our call didn’t even last five minutes. I managed to get a question out about the flyovers and First Order activity, but he deflected. </p>
<p>Eldo and Arjun were also easy conversations. They liked having a surplus of credits. Arjun mentioned adding a couple newer ships to his fleet. I made a note of that detail. Arjun wanted to expand, he was investing a lot in his fleet, so he’d be looking for more opportunities to convert that power into credits. </p>
<p>I couldn’t get a hold of Matthias directly, but Euora took my call. She wasn’t willing to have a long conversation with me, but she admitted to enjoying their heist against the Bardrin Group. They made off with high-end starship parts, and were raking in cash from their buyers. I kept our conversation light, and I didn’t make another offer to join my crew, but I made sure she knew I was still interested. </p>
<p>By this time, I was running out of steam. </p>
<p>I took a break in the hangar, taking a couple laps around the perimeter. </p>
<p>My last two conversations were going to be with Sul and Verza. </p>
<p>I wanted to spend more time thinking through my approach with Sul. The Hutts were crafty and untrustworthy. Family loyalty ran deep with them, but it was still an organized crime operation. There were the families and individuals at the top, and the others trying to claw their way up. </p>
<p>This felt like an opportunity. But if I was wrong, all my work with the Hutts would crumble. I’d be blacklisted, and that would have a ripple effect over any other projects I tried to take on. </p>
<p>Verza would be much more straightforward. He was greedy and liked my deep pockets. I didn’t suspect that he was going to try to doublecross me. Matthias and Tynne were suspicious, but all Verza saw was easy money. </p>
<p>When I returned to Sawai, my first call was to Sul. I found myself talking with his purple Twi’lek. I couldn’t remember her name. She made me wait while she grabbed him. </p>
<p>Keelu. Her name was Keelu. </p>
<p>I didn’t get the chance to use it though - when the screen flashed back to life, all I saw was Sul’s wide Hutt face. </p>
<p>“Mara!” he greeted, “It’s been a long time.”</p>
<p>“I know,” I replied, friendly and flirtatious, “How are things on Dandoran?”</p>
<p>“Business is good,” he said, “Wouldn’t you know, but we were able to move our New Republic operations, just before they discovered us.”</p>
<p>“Lucky break,” I replied with a grin. </p>
<p>“Do you have anything new for me?” he asked hungrily. </p>
<p>“Now don’t get greedy,” I said playfully, “We agreed on new information once a cycle.”</p>
<p>I was teasing, seeing what he’d be willing to let slip in a call. </p>
<p>“I’m not a man who likes to wait,” Sul said, his tongue roaming between each corner of his mouth. </p>
<p>Disgusting. </p>
<p>“Well, I do a lot of travelling for this job,” I said, sweetly, “I might find myself in the neighborhood.”</p>
<p>“You’re always welcome here, Mara,” Sul replied, “I still believe that this could be the start of a very lucrative partnership.”</p>
<p>“I’ll give you a call when I’m out that way,” I said. </p>
<p>Sul closed the line. </p>
<p>That was encouraging. So his offer was on his mind. </p>
<p>I’d have a conversation with Ahobri and see if she could talk me out of it. </p>
<p>All that was left was Verza. </p>
<p>When I called his line, I got an associate I didn’t know - some large, muscular Chagrian. He got me connected to Verza quickly. </p>
<p>That seemed like a good sign. </p>
<p>“Siobhan, I wasn’t expecting to hear from you so soon,” Verza said, his flat Neimoidian face taking up the holoscreen. </p>
<p>“Courtesy call,” I replied with a smile, “I wanted to see how everyone is doing. The news reports look good.”</p>
<p>“We’re sitting pretty,” Verza said, “My crew was very impressed with the report.”</p>
<p>“That’s what I hoped,” I said. </p>
<p>Verza’s expression grew more calculating, “Tynne and Arjun were able to have a sit-down with you, without all the trappings of a council meeting. I’m jealous. I’d like to know if you’d be willing to meet with me sometime soon, so we can get to know each other better.”</p>
<p>Bingo. Right into my lap. </p>
<p>“I’d like that,” I said.</p>
<p>“Let me know when you’re available and we’ll talk,” Verza replied. </p>
<p>Technically, this was all above board. The council had agreed that I could be in communication with individual members as long as there were no side-deals or exchange of money. </p>
<p>There were many ways to get around that. </p>
<p>I wondered if Verza had pushed for such a lax decision. </p>
<p>“I’ll let you know,” I replied, and closed the line. </p>
<p>My instincts were correct. Sul and Verza were interested. </p>
<p>I typed up a message to Ymir, telling him that I was seriously interested in making inroads with other organizations. This had the potential to be a much larger power grab. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Feeling satisfied and exhausted, I returned to my quarters and ordered a meal. </p>
<p>Thess came in as I was finishing up. She was excited, grinning ear to ear. </p>
<p>“Have fun training today?” I asked. </p>
<p>Thess poured herself a drink and joined me at the table in my sitting room. </p>
<p>“So much fun,” she said. There were spots of color on her cheeks, “Not fly with good pilot here before.”</p>
<p>I laughed. </p>
<p>“Kylo Ren, very very good,” Thess said, taking a hurried sip of her drink so she could tell me the rest, “Him nicer in squadron than on ground.”</p>
<p>I was getting a kick out of this more confident version of her. </p>
<p>“Yuri have me be partner in formation. He…” she scrunched up her face as she tried to think up words, “He… fly… special pilot.”</p>
<p>She looked frustrated that she couldn’t tell me exactly what she meant. </p>
<p>“I get what you’re saying,” I said, putting a hand on her forearm. </p>
<p>Thess held her arm up, showing off a simple bracelet - a leather thong tied to a flat piece of silver metal, a design punched into it. “Yuri get me this, on assignment.”</p>
<p>“Thess,” I said with a grin, “It’s beautiful.”</p>
<p>She was blushing furiously now. “He say thinking about me on mission,” she said, “He say want to talk more. Know more.”</p>
<p>“I told you,” I teased. </p>
<p>“I’m going talk with him more. Want fly with him,” Thess declared. </p>
<p>“You should. Enjoy yourself.”</p>
<p>I wanted to leave The Finalizer as soon as possible - Thess should have fun while she was here. </p>
<p>We had a drink and played a game of Dejarik. </p>
<p>Yuri swung by dressed in civilian clothes that had some color. I gave him a wink when Thess wasn’t looking. </p>
<p>We shared a drink and played a hand of cards. Thess won, then the two of them made up an excuse to leave. </p>
<p>I was left alone in my rigid military room again, staring at the First Order banners on the walls. </p>
<p>With nothing else better to do, I walked over to Ren’s quarters. He took me in. </p>
<p>Our night together was more passionate. Knowing that Adram was right next door, I put on a show, hoping he could hear every sound we made. </p>
<p>
  <b>V</b>
</p>
<p>Life on The Finalizer was routine. </p>
<p>A week slipped by. Every day was the same. </p>
<p>I woke up at 0400 and trained with Ren and his Knights. </p>
<p>I was asked to attend the morning military briefings, so I sat in a chair in a dark room for a couple hours, bored out of my mind. </p>
<p>After that I monitored data sent in from the probes, and worked on my plans to connect with Sul and Verza. </p>
<p>Unsurprisingly, Ymir liked the idea of taking control of the criminal networks between the Mid- and Outer Rim. </p>
<p>Ahobri hated the idea of negotiating an underhanded deal with Sul. She thought it was too risky. I was determined to press ahead anyways. </p>
<p>I began making plans to leave, starting with a follow-up tour through the territory, and seeing how many other criminal groups I could bring under our sway. </p>
<p>Thess was adapting well to life on The Finalizer. During the day, she worked with the pilots, doing aerial combat training. </p>
<p>Ren and Yuri were taking the lead in training pilots on Starkiller Base. After Commander Heath’s bad judgement and resulting crash, Ren would be keeping a closer eye on their procedures. Thess took to joining them. </p>
<p>They’d be gone for eight or twelve hours every day. </p>
<p>In the evenings, Thess and Yuri would join me in my rooms for a drink or dinner, then they’d find some excuse to be alone together. </p>
<p>Ren noticed. </p>
<p>“I don’t know how I feel about Yuri seeing that little pilot of yours,” he said, tracing an idle pattern across my back with his fingertips. </p>
<p>We were in bed together, like we were most nights. </p>
<p>I was lying naked in his sheets. Ren was also naked, sitting cross-legged, shoulders sloping forward. </p>
<p>“I can’t see how your feelings matter,” I said with a teasing grin, rolling onto my back. </p>
<p>Ren gave me a sharp look. “Yuri is one of my Knights. I’m his commander.”</p>
<p>It took serious effort not to laugh at him. </p>
<p>“What are you worried about?” I asked with a bored sigh. </p>
<p>“That he’ll lose focus. That he’ll be distracted. He’s going back to the Outer Rim soon, and I don’t want him pining after her.”</p>
<p>“Adram said the same thing about me.” </p>
<p>“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ren demanded. </p>
<p>Why couldn’t I just keep my fucking mouth shut? </p>
<p>“Nothing,” I replied. </p>
<p>Ren stared at me. “No. What did Adram say?” he repeated.</p>
<p>I grumbled angrily, “He said the same thing about you and me. There. Happy?”</p>
<p>Ren’s expression drew in. His eyes were dark, “When did he say that?”</p>
<p>“It doesn’t fucking matter,” I said, pushing myself upright, “Thinking that women are a distraction isn’t exactly a new idea.”</p>
<p>Ren looked away, mouth turning down. “You are a distraction,” he said, a sneer entering his tone. </p>
<p>“Oh fuck you,” I said, climbing out of his bed. The wave of anger came on so sudden I was dizzy. </p>
<p>“Why are you even here?” he asked, as I began gathering up my clothes, scattered across the floor. </p>
<p>“Don’t give me that baanthashit,” I snapped. </p>
<p>“You’ve made it abundantly clear that you don’t care about me,” Ren snarled in return, “So why do you keep winding up in my rooms?”</p>
<p>My lips were twisting with disgust at his attitude, “I like to fuck,” I said, pulling my pants up, “I haven’t heard you complaining.”</p>
<p>“You say you don’t want me, but you’re here every night. What do you want?”</p>
<p>“Sorry for trying to have a good time on this miserable fucking ship of yours,” I sneered, pulling my shirt over my head. </p>
<p>“We spend so much fucking time together and you won’t let me in!” Ren said, starting to get emotional. There was color in his cheeks. </p>
<p>“Because you always act like this!” I shouted back, “We could still be in bed, right now, enjoying ourselves, but you’re always pushing. You always want more from me.”</p>
<p>Tears began travelling down his cheeks. He glared, angry and wounded, “It’s like you’re behind a pane of glass…” Ren said, roughly wiping at the path of tears, “I can be so close to you, but I can never really touch you… You never let me in. You won’t even give me a chance.”</p>
<p>“I’ve never asked you for anything!” I said, pointing a finger at him, “But you’re always demanding that I change. You’ve made up some kind of story about the kind of person I am. That’s not me.”</p>
<p>I spat - a gob of phlegm landing on his spotless floors.</p>
<p>“Get out,” Ren growled, hiding his hurt, guarding himself. Like usual. </p>
<p>“You’re pathetic,” I said, looking over my shoulder as I left his quarters. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The next few days were tense. </p>
<p>Ren was hellbent on avoiding me. It was obvious during our training. </p>
<p>I took the opportunity to work from my room rather than out on the bridge. I drank to pass the time, allowing my thoughts to be absorbed by my plans for Verza and Sul. </p>
<p>After training one morning, Yuri dropped by my rooms. </p>
<p>“What’s going on between you and Kylo?” he asked. He had his mask tucked under his arm, the rest of him was covered in layers of black. </p>
<p>“It’s nothing new,” I grimaced. </p>
<p>“It’s new for me,” Yuri said, taking a seat. </p>
<p>I was parked on the couch, the holoprojector set up for my work. </p>
<p>“Yesterday, Kylo didn’t stop complaining about you. I’ve never seen him like that before,” Yuri said. </p>
<p>“Are you asking as a friend?”</p>
<p>Yuri nodded. He was plain-looking, but there was something handsome in his broad square features. He had a wide nose and rounded cheeks. It gave a certain expressiveness to his face. </p>
<p>“Ren wants something that I can’t give him,” I said, “I was upfront with him, and he just refuses to listen. He thinks that if he just keeps up, one day I might change.”</p>
<p>Yuri gave me a sympathetic grimace, “Yeah, I can see that. Do you want me to help?”</p>
<p>I shook my head, “I’m a big girl. It’s not my first time dealing with men like him.”</p>
<p>Yuri cracked a funny kind of grin, the corners of his mouth turning down. </p>
<p>“If I’m being honest, I think him seeing me and Thess might have set this off,” he admitted. </p>
<p>“How are things going with you two?” I asked, happy to shift the conversation away from me, “I know it hasn’t been that long…”</p>
<p>Yuri did not mind sharing. “She’s just, amazing,” he said with a dazed shake of his head, “She’s beautiful. She comes across as so shy, but there’s this fierceness to her. I’ve had so much fun flying with her.”</p>
<p>I was watching him with a wide grin, leaning my chin on my hand, “Are you in love with her?” I asked, mischievous and playful. </p>
<p>Yuri blushed, his face going ruddy with color, “I mean, I’m just getting to know her, and I’m about to be sent back to the Outer Rim.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, us too,” I said, with a glint in my eye. </p>
<p>“I don’t want to move too fast,” Yuri said, “But with this kind of life, if you take things too slow, you might miss your opportunity to have something special.”</p>
<p>I sighed, leaning my head back, “You’re telling me. Always on to the next assignment.”</p>
<p>Yuri nodded. “So look, I’ve known Kylo for a long time. I know how difficult he is, but you two have been doing this for a while now. How do you feel about him?”</p>
<p>“What? Are you his investigator now?” I demanded. </p>
<p>Yuri laughed, “Personal curiosity.”</p>
<p>I waited, gathering my thoughts before I responded. I decided to be honest. “There’s stuff that I really like about him,” I said, “Sometimes I feel that he’s the only person who really understands me. The Force, the Darkside, he just gets it in a way no one else does, that no one else can.”</p>
<p>And there was the sex, but I wasn’t going to talk to Yuri about that.</p>
<p>“... but he can just be such a demanding asshole, and that just ruins it for me.”</p>
<p>Yuri snorted, “I’ll keep that between the two of us.” He paused, growing more thoughtful, “I haven’t talked to Thess about my family, the Jedi Academy, any of that. Her family means so much to her. I don’t think she’d understand. She’s asked me about them, and I haven’t given her a real answer.”</p>
<p>“I told her about my family,” I said, “After my father was killed, I left my mother and brother. I couldn’t be around them anymore. Thess didn’t give me a hard time.”</p>
<p>“I just… it’s such an awful thing to tell somebody,” Yuri said, looking down. He was quiet for some time, looking down at his mask in his large hands. </p>
<p>“Do you ever think we were just born broken?” he asked. His eyes were mournful. </p>
<p>My first instinct was to brush off his comment, make some kind of quip, but Yuri was opening up to me. I wasn’t going to push him away. </p>
<p>“I don’t know,” I replied. It was weak, but it was the truth. </p>
<p>“My family’s still alive, still fighting with the Resistance,” Yuri said, “Kylo and I talk about it sometimes.”</p>
<p>All three of us had abandoned our families. We had turned our backs on their legacies. </p>
<p>We had become enemies to the people who created us. </p>
<p>“I try not to think about it,” I said, “I don’t know the kind of person I’d be if my father hadn’t been killed. You can play ‘what if’ for the rest of your life and still not get any answers. We all just have to live with the choices we make.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Ren and I didn’t make up. We were at a standstill. He wasn’t being overtly aggressive. I wasn’t trying to fix things. We stayed out of each other’s way. </p>
<p>It motivated me to finish my plans for Verza and Sul. </p>
<p>The decisions were made. Ymir thought it was an opportunity to expand our power. Ahobri hated the idea. I promised both of them I’d be careful. </p>
<p>I connected with Verza. We agreed to meet at one of his caches on Karideph. It was far enough away to keep the meeting a secret, and it wouldn’t be suspicious for him to be there. Unfortunately, it was in the Mid-Rim on the other side of the galaxy. </p>
<p>I planned to piggyback off of that meeting and keep myself active, making inroads with any other organization that would do business with me. </p>
<p>Adram, Yuri, and Ghent were being sent to the Outer Rim to keep an eye on the Resistance and local warlords. There had been some minor skirmishes in Yao and Zul’s territory - warning shots and aggressive flyovers, not enough to warrant an official retaliation by the First Order, but enough for them to keep their men nearby. </p>
<p>We all set off on the same day, scattering in the wind. </p>
<p>Thess and Yuri hugged and kissed their goodbyes in the hangar. </p>
<p>She came into the cockpit of Sawai with tears in her eyes, trying to hide them from me. </p>
<p>“It’s alright,” I said, as she took us out of the hangar. </p>
<p>“Think I miss Yuri a lot,” she sniffed. </p>
<p>“I miss Ahobri every day,” I told her. </p>
<p>It was true. We talked every few days, but it had been weeks since we had seen each other.</p>
<p>Ahobri was having a good time. She and Ekene were looking at houses: places in the city, places far out in the country. She sent me information that I mostly ignored. Whatever she felt was right would be fine with me. </p>
<p>It sounded like Ekene was enjoying himself, too. They were taking days just to adventure and see sights. Ekene had taken her out to shows and performances by his friends. I heard stories about the afterparties. </p>
<p>I couldn’t wait to be back with them. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Thess and I stopped for supplies in the Mid-Rim, in a town where Sawai wouldn’t stand out too much. </p>
<p>We stocked up on food, alcohol, and equipment. I located blasters and thermal detonators, and bought us a couple of speeders, just in case. </p>
<p>After fourteen hours in hyperspace, Thess brought Sawai down to our meeting place on Karideph. </p>
<p>The planet was beautiful, covered in tropical forests. The trees were brilliantly green, dotted with spots of color from birds and flowers. </p>
<p>Verza’s cache was hidden in the jungle outside of one of the major towns. We were instructed to land in a spot a few kilometers away. </p>
<p>I knew my instincts were right - I was glad I bought the speeders. I left Thess to watch the ship, and I set out through the jungle, honing in on Verza’s location. I brought along one of my blasters, strapped to my thigh. </p>
<p>The air was hot and sticky. Within minutes I was covered in sweat. </p>
<p>This place also had the most bugs of anywhere I had ever been. They buzzed almost as loud as my speeder engines. As I flew, they pelted my face, arms, and legs. </p>
<p>I met Verza at a nondescript shack deep in the forest, feeling rougher than I wanted to. </p>
<p>“A warning about the wildlife would have been nice,” I greeted, brushing at the sleeves of my jacket, running a gloved hand down my sweaty face.</p>
<p>Verza came out of the shack to welcome me, his expensive black-plated security droid at his side. </p>
<p>“There’s nothing you can do about it,” he said with a wry look on his moist, gray face. </p>
<p>The Neimoidian ushered me inside. I had my awareness extended and couldn’t feel anyone else with him.  </p>
<p>“I appreciate the chance to have a sit-down with you,” I said. </p>
<p>The shack was plain. It was one room, with an open kitchen in the far corner. There was a liquor cabinet, a table, a sofa, and a few scattered chairs. </p>
<p>Verza poured us both a drink and took a seat across from me at the table. He was wearing understated, but well-tailored, blue robes - white around the collar. </p>
<p>His security droid stood against the wall behind his chair, focused directly on me. </p>
<p>“We’re both busy people, so I thought I’d cut right to the chase,” Verza said. </p>
<p>“I knew I liked you,” I replied with a grin, taking a sip of my drink. </p>
<p>“I’ve kept my ear to the ground, and I’ve caught wind of other territory deals being made in these regions,” Verza said, calculating, but friendly, “It seems your employer is interested in more than just the activities of the Smuggler’s Alliance.”</p>
<p>This was going the direction that I wanted, but now I was worried that Matthias and Tynne might know about my deals with the Hutts. Asking outright wasn’t an option. </p>
<p>“My employer has a broad strategy for shoring up their interests,” I replied with practiced coolness. </p>
<p>“Have they expressed any desire to work with Black Sun?” Verza asked. </p>
<p>This was exactly what I was hoping for. </p>
<p>“That name has come up in our discussions,” I said, encouraging him. </p>
<p>“We’ve shared territory for years, and we have a good relationship,” he said, his slender gray fingers steepled in front of him, “They’ve begun to notice how well I’m doing, and want to know more about you and your mysterious employer.”</p>
<p>Verza wasn’t able to strike any specific deals with me. We wouldn’t be exchanging money. He must be arranging a kickback with Black Sun for an introduction. </p>
<p>“Money sure has a way of making people take notice,” I replied easily. </p>
<p>“It does,” Verza agreed with a small smile of his own, “I brought you here to let you know that word is getting around. You might be getting a call from Black Sun sometime soon.”</p>
<p>This was the deal, without being a deal. Verza was being careful with what he said. Chances were this security droid was recording the conversation. </p>
<p>“They can contact me if they want to,” I replied with a shrug, “I’m always open to conversation.”</p>
<p>“Like I said, I won’t keep you,” Verza said, rising from his seat, offering me his hand, “I’m meeting a buyer here in an hour.”</p>
<p>That was his cover. </p>
<p>“I hope we get to talk again soon. Keep in touch,” I said, giving his hand a firm shake. </p>
<p>“Oh I believe we will, Siobhan.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>My next stop was to Sul. </p>
<p>This time, I wasn’t given the runaround and he welcomed me directly into his group. That was fine with me - I didn’t want to spend any more time on his miserable planet than I needed to.</p>
<p>I had spent a long time discussing intelligence reports with Ahobri and we had developed a strategy with our information. It was important to make sure I didn’t give Sul anything that would give us away to Boz. We also wanted to make sure that the intelligence we gave to Sul wouldn’t be more useful in Boz’s hands. </p>
<p>Sul was very happy to make inroads with Boz’s Spice dealers. His goal was to corner the market, and I was helping him on his way. </p>
<p>In turn, I got information about the Kalmec, the second-largest smuggling and piracy ring in this region - all Wookies. </p>
<p>Then Arjun met with me, making a connection with Kanjiklub.</p>
<p>Things began to move very quickly for me. </p>
<p>Thess and I bounced across the Mid- and Outer Rim for almost half a cycle, organizing meetings and deals. </p>
<p>I stayed in touch with Ahobri and Ymir, updating them as group after group went into business with us. </p>
<p>I met with Black Sun, Kalmec, Kanjiclub, the Guarian Death Gang, and others, using each group to help make another contact. </p>
<p>Each group got a separate deal, depending on what would benefit the First Order most. Some I asked to move territory, others were used to attack targets that were of interest to the First Order, others were put on retainer, until the moment they could become useful to us. </p>
<p>Thess began joining me for some of the meetings. Her confidence was growing. Her anxious posturing began to give way. I was seeing her shrewd and fierce side more and more often. </p>
<p>There were parties, long nights that bled into hazy dawns where we pulled ourselves, still drunk, back aboard Sawai. I made friends and lovers along the way. Small exchanges - a night, a couple days at most. </p>
<p>Thess took every opportunity to stay in contact with Yuri. </p>
<p>All of us, myself, Thess, Yuri, Ahobri, Ekene were flying through the same general area, but we were always lightyears apart from one another. </p>
<p>Ahobri and Ekene were making the final decisions on a house. She was choosing between three places on Bastatha, Swillen, and Taris. She sent me floorplans, long reports about the planets and the cities. I skimmed information about their governments and criminal organizations. </p>
<p>I talked through the pros and cons with Ahobri, trying to help her make a decision. She had so much patience for details. I was so grateful for her help. </p>
<p>Ekene was providing expertise on setting up the place anonymously. I had given him access to all my accounts, trusting him and Ahobri with my money. He would be helping us set up security, droids, and staff. </p>
<p>Ahobri and I already knew we were going to hire some people from Jukhara. We were in contact with Troye - he was ready to come out and meet us the moment we had a place for him. </p>
<p>Finally, it felt like everything was coming together. I was on top of the world. </p>
<p>I still needed to hide my identity. </p>
<p>No one knew I was a Sith. No one knew I was a part of the First Order. </p>
<p>But now I was becoming someone important. </p>
<p>The Smuggler’s Alliance and the Hutts both noticed that changes were happening across the Mid- and Outer Rim. </p>
<p>I felt more eyes on me, and I liked the challenge.</p>
<p>I kept up my communication with Tynne. Matthias was difficult to get a hold of. I found myself talking with Euora more often than not. She was beginning to warm up to me. I had a lot of respect for her. She was clever and had a good head on her shoulders. </p>
<p>As we travelled from one end of the Outer Rim to the other, Thess and I found ourselves with lots of downtime. </p>
<p>In some ways, Thess was a better influence on me than Ahobri. She could while away the long hours in hyperspace watching sports and playing games on the holoprojector. We still drank and did lines of Blue to keep ourselves alert, but not to the degree Ahobri and I were used to. </p>
<p>I found myself more drawn to meditation, exploring the depths of the Darkside. </p>
<p>Every time ended with the question, spoken or not, ‘Will you give yourself to me?’ </p>
<p>And every time I shied away. </p>
<p>But it wasn’t all for nothing. I was growing stronger. I could feel it. </p>
<p>It used to take a specific effort for me to expand my awareness and remain cloaked. Even then, what I felt could be distracting or overwhelming. Now it was a natural reflex. I could experience all the natural sensations and emotions around me without succumbing to them. </p>
<p>I was able to keep my heart open to the Darkside.</p>
<p>During a long hyperspace run, Thess offered to give me another tattoo. I had told her about the way pain helped me connect with the Force. It was a small way to show that she cared.</p>
<p>This second one extended up my right arm, spreading onto my shoulder. The design was simple and geometric, a precise design of lines and bands traveling along my body. </p>
<p>We sat for hours in my quarters while Thess worked. She set up a pallet on the floor of my bedroom, the swirling blue of hyperspace shining through the skylight above us. </p>
<p>I slipped into a place of meditation that was quiet and sweet. The darkness didn’t scare me anymore, no matter how it growled and keened around me. </p>
<p>Thess was understanding as I went silent, slipping into that energy deep inside of me. </p>
<p>I could feel the imbalance in the Force, that surging wave of darkness, wanting to snuff out the Light. I began to distance myself from the sensation. I had no connection with the Light. What did it matter to me?</p>
<p>My arrangement with Raj and Snoke seemed to have stalled. They had been silent for many weeks. Neither one of them had tried to contact me since we agreed on the deal. </p>
<p>I didn’t know when they would be ready to act. </p>
<p>Things were going well for everyone. I didn’t have the sense that they were ready to upset the balance just yet. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“Siobhan! We just bought the house!” Ahobri announced.</p>
<p>Her face was bright. Ekene had his arm around her shoulders. </p>
<p>“Which one did you choose?” I asked, with a big, dumb grin on my face. </p>
<p>“The one on Taris!” Ahobri said, “I’m here. I want to give you the tour.”</p>
<p>I was sitting in the cockpit of Sawai. Thess and I had just finished meeting with the Lenushaa gang. I was half-drunk and already feeling good. </p>
<p>Ahobri showed me the house using the camera of her fancy new handheld comms. </p>
<p>The place was big. It could comfortably house forty or fifty people. There were many rooms for entertaining, spaces to hold court in. </p>
<p>The location wasn’t beautiful. Taris was a massive, planet-wide city - it had been scarred by years of industry and manufacturing. The water was polluted, and the land was sour, but the population was thriving. The planet had plenty of money, and important people chasing it. </p>
<p>My house was part of a string of large buildings, floating above the busiest part of downtown, like pearls on a thread. </p>
<p>It was a good choice. It gave me security without distance. People could reach my house by speeder or ship, but they couldn’t walk in off the street. </p>
<p>Ekene dipped in and out of the tour -. I could tell he didn’t understand why Ahobri was so excited. To him it was just a house. It didn’t compare to his or Ymir’s estate. It wasn’t even close. </p>
<p>Ahobri chattered away, showing me the terraces and bedrooms, talking about how she wanted everything decorated, the furniture she planned on buying. </p>
<p>I sat in my chair, my chin on my hand, feeling a depth of happiness I had never experienced before.</p>
<p>We had finally done it. We had made it. </p>
<p>I was able to pay for everything - anything Ahobri wanted. I said yes to all of her ideas.</p>
<p>Thess wandered up to the cockpit at one point. She was like me and didn’t have the stamina for long conversations about paint and furniture and decorations. She soon wandered off. </p>
<p>“Ahobri,” I said, as she wrapped up her tour, “I don’t think I’ve ever felt this happy in my whole life.”</p>
<p>“Me neither,” she admitted, wiping tears from the corners of her eyes, trying not to smudge her makeup, “When can you come out?”</p>
<p>“I need to circle back to Kanjiklub, they’re waiting on me, but I can head out that way after,” I said, “So give me a day or two.”</p>
<p>“I can’t wait!” Ahobri said, “I love you.”</p>
<p>“I love you too.”</p>
<p>
  <b>VI</b>
</p>
<p>“Need to call Lord Ymir,” Thess said. I had just returned to the cockpit from my meeting with Kanjiklub. </p>
<p>“What?” I asked, dropping into the copilot’s seat. </p>
<p>“First Order supply ship, taken by Kaige Evet. Ymir wants you,” Thess said, not keeping me in suspense. </p>
<p>“Did you talk to him?” I asked, my expression was sharp. Thess shouldn’t be answering my calls. </p>
<p>“No,” Thess answered, giving me a look, “He call more than once. Leave messages.”</p>
<p>I found two messages waiting on my comms. </p>
<p>I checked the second one first. </p>
<p>Ymir appeared in the holofeed wearing fine robes, his hair loose around his shoulders, “Siobhan, time is of the essence. We need to deal with this situation in Nijune. Call me.”</p>
<p>I punched in his code. </p>
<p>When Ymir answered he was wearing more familiar clothes - a half-cloak draped over a jacket and plain shirt. </p>
<p>“Siobhan, can you fly out as soon as we end this call?” his eyes were bright. His expression was hungry. </p>
<p>I didn’t often see Ymir get genuinely excited. </p>
<p>“I thought you were calling with bad news,” I replied. </p>
<p>“It’s bad news for Kaige Evet,” Ymir said with a fiery smile, “He attacked and stole one of our supply ships in the Nijune sector yesterday. I want you to be part of the response team.”</p>
<p>“Yes,” I said. I bit my lower lip, a thrill of anticipation moving through me, “Where am I meeting you?”</p>
<p>“Yuri is with Admiral Josto onboard The Cataclysm. I’m meeting them in the Tamarin sector. How soon can you be there?”</p>
<p>“I can be there in... four hours,” I replied, starting the calculations on the console. “Are we doing a mission together?” I asked, unable to hide my grin. </p>
<p>“That’s what I had in mind. Stand by for the Cataclysm’s coordinates and contact information,” Ymir said, “I’ll be arriving in six hours. Yuri is putting together the battle plans. You can help him when you get there.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” I said, barely able to contain myself, “I’ll see you there.”</p>
<p>Ymir closed the line. </p>
<p>“Oh fuck yes!” I shouted, pumping a fist in the air. </p>
<p>Thess was smiling too, but mostly in reaction to me. Or it was the thought of seeing Yuri for the first time in half a cycle. </p>
<p>There was a ping on my comms and we had the Star Destroyer’s exact location and a direct line to the bridge.</p>
<p>I sent a message to Ahobri, letting her know I was being pulled away on another job: [Babe, I am so sorry to do this to you, but I got pulled away on an urgent assignment. I’ll be with you soon. I promise.]</p>
<p>“So we going to a fight?” Thess asked, settling back in the captain’s chair. </p>
<p>“Sounds like it,” I replied.</p>
<p>We were in hyperspace less than five minutes later. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I was going into battle with Ymir. </p>
<p>Everytime I thought about it, a thrill ran across me. </p>
<p>Thess was excited for very different reasons. In just four hours, she’d be seeing Yuri again. </p>
<p>I made preparations as we hurtled through hyperspace. </p>
<p>I took my lightsabers from the hidden panel in my quarters and secured them around my waist. I threw some utility clothes into a kit bag. I tossed in a pair of dark robes, just in case. </p>
<p>After packing, I reviewed the First Order reports on Kaige Evet. </p>
<p>He had been suspiciously inactive until now. The man was a terror, ruling his sector through brutality and fear. He looked intimidating. Kaige was a very large Klatooinian. He stood well over two meters tall, a wall of solid muscle. His berserker rage in battle was the stuff of legends. </p>
<p>I read about Kaige’s warships and his crew - mostly Trandoshan and Gamorrean soldiers, taken at birth from the planets within Kaige’s territory. </p>
<p>Ymir was coming out to personally oversee this fight. It was going to be a nasty. I was looking forward to it. </p>
<p>During the last stretch of the trip, I spent time in meditation, calming my mind. </p>
<p>I fed the darkness and the darkness fed me. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>We popped out of hyperspace. The Cataclysm was directly ahead. </p>
<p>I contacted the bridge and Yuri answered. </p>
<p>“Siobhan, Thess,” he greeted. </p>
<p>His face was covered in his boxy mask. Thess was staring at him intently. </p>
<p>“I heard we’re going to see some action today,” I replied. </p>
<p>“That’s right,” Yuri said, “Lord Ymir should be arriving in two hours. I’m still working on the battle plans. Get yourself into a hangar and come help.”</p>
<p>It had been half a cycle since I was aboard a First Order ship. </p>
<p>There was a formal welcome party waiting for us. The Admiral had come down, flanked by two other officers. </p>
<p>“Madam Siniang, I’m Admiral Josto, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” he said, giving my hand a firm shake. </p>
<p>“Admiral,” I replied, returning the firm military grip, “This is my pilot, Thess, she’ll be joining me as we plan for battle.”</p>
<p>She was anxious to see Yuri again, and I knew it would make him happy to see her too. </p>
<p>“Of course, madam,” the Admiral said. </p>
<p>He escorted the two of us up to the bridge. A low-ranking officer whisked away our kit bags. </p>
<p>There was anticipation in the air, an electric tinge that I loved. </p>
<p>It had been so long since I had been in a real fight. I had been stuck doing diplomacy, playing nice and making deals with people I could easily overpower. I was looking forward to the chance to use my real strength. </p>
<p>When we entered the briefing room, Yuri was on the stage in the middle of a presentation. He had his mask on. There was a Group Commander at his side. </p>
<p>As soon as the Admiral and I entered the room, everyone stood. </p>
<p>All eyes were on us. </p>
<p>The Admiral walked me over to a separate table with the other high-ranking officers. I made sure they knew Thess would be by my side. Someone scurried off to get her a chair. </p>
<p>Yuri continued with his briefing. </p>
<p>Kaige had taken our supply ship in a lull between hyperspace jumps. The ship had a tracker on it, of course. The vessel had been taken to the capital planet of Shadda-Bi. </p>
<p>This was an obvious challenge. </p>
<p>Kaige knew the ship had a tracker. He could have easily disabled it, or raided the cargo and left the ship in open space. </p>
<p>He was calling us to war with him. </p>
<p>That must be why Ymir was coming to personally oversee the battle. </p>
<p>So far, our expansion strategy had been a success. Everyone else was staying in line. No one else had been brave enough to make a move against the First Order. </p>
<p>We were going to make an example out of Kaige. </p>
<p>This Star Destroyer and our TIE fighter fleet would be more than a match for Kaige’s crew of fighters. Yuri would be leading our TIE fighter squadrons, while the Admiral directed from the bridge of the Cataclsym. </p>
<p>We expected to find a blockade over their capital planet. It was unclear how much of the fighting would take place planet-side, but we had AT-ATs and ground troops at the ready. </p>
<p>If we needed backup, General Taye was two hours away, aboard a Dreadnought - The Impaler.</p>
<p>I didn’t know what my role would be. I wasn’t a pilot, and my identity was supposed to be a secret. I hoped I wouldn’t be sitting this one out on the bridge. </p>
<p>There wasn’t a clear position for Ymir, either. Yuri was waiting for him to arrive. </p>
<p>“I want to fly,” Thess whispered to me as we sat through the briefing. </p>
<p>I worried about her safety, but I wasn’t going to deny her. </p>
<p>“Alright,” I said, “I’ll make sure Yuri knows.”</p>
<p>Our objective for this battle would be to annihilate Kaige’s arm. We would take Kaige alive so we could make a public example of him. Nijune would be a First Order colony by the end of the day. </p>
<p>The briefing ended before Ymir arrived. </p>
<p>Uniformed officers filed out of the room to start their preparations. </p>
<p>Yuri left the stage, quickly walking towards us. </p>
<p>Thess stood abruptly, clearly wanting to run over, but this was a military ship, and he was on duty. She stayed in place, not wanting to overstep herself.</p>
<p>The first thing Yuri did was wrap Thess in a hug, lifting her off her feet. </p>
<p>“It’s so good to see you,” he said. </p>
<p>The Admiral did not know how to react, so he just saluted and left. </p>
<p>Yuri turned to me next, “Siobhan, I know you’ve been in a lot of meetings recently. Think you’re ready for battle?” he teased. </p>
<p>I gave his shoulder a friendly punch. “I think you have a fresh recruit for your squadron,” I said, “Thess wants to fly.”</p>
<p>Yuri looked at her and I could tell he was excited to go into battle with her at his side. </p>
<p>We strode down to the hangars together. </p>
<p>Yuri paired Thess up with an officer to get her flight-ready. </p>
<p>We were reviewing flight plans with the Group Commanders when Ymir’s ship arrived. </p>
<p>The Admiral came down with several units of stormtroopers. Yuri and I joined the welcome party. I found myself at the very front. I always forgot that I outranked everyone on this Star Destroyer.  </p>
<p>Ymir was flying his workhorse vessel. I hadn’t seen it since Korriban. </p>
<p>He exited to a full salute. I stood at-ease with a fiery smile, watching him disembark. </p>
<p>Ymir was dressed in his utility clothes, a crimson half-cloak around his shoulders, his iron-gray hair tied at the base of his neck. </p>
<p>A tremor of excitement rolled down my spine. </p>
<p>“Lin,” he greeted, his eyes roaming across me. It had been a very long time since we had seen each other in person. </p>
<p>I was disappointed that he used one of my fake names, but it couldn’t be helped. I was undercover everywhere I went. </p>
<p>“Yuri,” he continued, “How are the battle plans coming along?”</p>
<p>Yuri’s tone was direct and military, “They’re ready for your review, Lord Ymir. I look forward to your feedback. I was waiting to know what role you planned on taking.”</p>
<p>Ymir shook his hand before continuing down the line. </p>
<p>“Admiral Josto,” he greeted, “We should be in hyperspace as soon as possible. I’ll review our strategy on the way.”</p>
<p>The four of us returned to the bridge - Lord Ymir, myself, Yuri, and the Admiral. </p>
<p>“From what I’ve read, Kaige is supposed to be a real bastard,” Ymir said as we took the elevator up. </p>
<p>“I expect he’ll take the lead in the fighting,” Yuri replied, “The question is whether he’ll be with his squadrons on his warship, or if he’ll make us come down planet-side and fight through the city.”</p>
<p>“I’ll be leading the charge, wherever he happens to be,” Ymir said. He looked over to me, “Lin, I want you at my side, are you ready?”</p>
<p>I made a playful scowl, “Yuri asked me that, too. I’m starting to feel offended.”</p>
<p>He gave me a toothy grin in response. </p>
<p>Inside, I was bubbling over. I’d be fighting at Ymir’s side. </p>
<p>We returned to the bridge. The Admiral ordered hyperspace preparations while Ymir, Yuri, and I entered the briefing room. </p>
<p>Yuri moved towards the stage and loaded the battle plans. </p>
<p>“I wanted to take a moment to express my appreciation to be working alongside both of you today,” Ymir said, his rich voice filling the empty briefing room. </p>
<p>Yuri turned towards him, “Thank you, Lord Ymir.”</p>
<p>Ymir put a large hand on my shoulder, “Siobhan, it’s good to see you. You look well.”</p>
<p>I grinned at him, appreciating his touch, “I’m looking forward to fighting together.”</p>
<p>A hyperspace announcement echoed over the ship’s comms. We had three hours to finish our battle preparations. </p>
<p>Yuri reviewed the plan with Lord Ymir. </p>
<p>Once we arrived, we needed to figure out if Kaige was on a warship or planet-side. Either way, Ymir and I would be boarding a military transport shuttle with Commander Dralin and his elite team of stormtroopers. </p>
<p>We talked through potentials and strategies. </p>
<p>The most important thing was to achieve a swift and decisive victory. The display of power was the real goal. We needed to make sure that no one else would want to take a shot at us afterwards. </p>
<p>“Yuri, I’m attending a New Republic council meeting tomorrow,” Ymir said, “So I won’t be able to stay for the aftermath of the battle. I need you and Admiral Josto to complete the follow-up procedures.”</p>
<p>“Yes, sir,” Yuri said, with a curt nod. </p>
<p>“If you need back-up, call Adram and Ghent, but I feel confident you can do this on your own.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, sir.”</p>
<p>Once we were finished reviewing plans, it was time for us to suit up. </p>
<p>Back in the hangar, an officer provided me with light armor to go over my pants and under my jacket. I was given the option of a helmet, but I already knew I wouldn’t be using it. </p>
<p>I decided to bring two blasters with me, one on each thigh, to go along with my two lightsabers. </p>
<p>Today I’d be able to fight using my full power. Today, I’d finally get to fight as a Sith. </p>
<p>We had half an hour until we left hyperspace. </p>
<p>Ymir requested me to meet him aboard his ship, sending an officer to pass the order.</p>
<p>I entered through the open cargo bay, suddenly reminded of when I walked up this same ramp with a lightsaber wound over my eye. </p>
<p>I knew that he was in his quarters. I rounded the hall, and found that the door was left open for me. </p>
<p>Ymir stood up, wrapping me in a hug as I entered, “Siobhan, it is so good to see you.”</p>
<p>His voice was warm. I leaned my cheek against his armored chest. The metal was cold and hard against my skin.</p>
<p>I laughed, “It’s good to see you too.”</p>
<p>I noticed he had a blaster on his hip, along with his lightsaber. </p>
<p>“Are you ready to fight at my side?” Ymir asked. </p>
<p>I had been waiting for this day for a long time. </p>
<p>“You’re not worried about people discovering who I am?” I teased. </p>
<p>“There won’t be any survivors to tell your secret.”</p>
<p>We took a moment to meditate, dropping into the Force together. </p>
<p>We sank into the Darkside, and I heard Ymir growl when he felt my energy..</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>You’ve grown stronger.</p>
</blockquote>There was pride in his voice. It made my heart ache to hear it.<p>We dropped into the void together, gathering energy to ourselves with the promise of bloodshed. </p>
<p>Ymir’s aura was like the ocean - vast, deep and mysterious. </p>
<p>I <i>reached</i> for him, wanting to learn, trying to understand if he had truly given himself over to the Darkside completely. </p>
<p>But there wasn’t time. </p>
<p>An alert was sounding. In five minutes we would be exiting hyperspace. </p>
<p>Ymir and I traveled to the bridge. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>We popped out of hyperspace, immediately greeted by Kaige’s flotilla of warships. </p>
<p>Our TIE fighters deployed seconds later, screaming out of The Cataclysm’s hangars. </p>
<p>“My pilot is part of Yuri’s squadron,” I said, standing next to Ymir, my arms crossed over my chest. </p>
<p>“The conscript you hired?” Ymir asked. </p>
<p>“Yeah, she kept up her combat practice on The Finalizer.”</p>
<p>The Admiral had opened our ship’s comms, scanning to see if we could establish contact with our enemy. </p>
<p>I watched red plasma bolts zipping through space as Yuri’s squadron began to engage with the enemy fleet. </p>
<p>His comms were fed through the bridge, so we could listen to his commands. </p>
<p>I would never tell Thess this to her face, but I was worried for her safety. I didn’t want anything to happen to her in this fight. </p>
<p>Suddenly, Kaige’s face pulled up on one of our holoscreens. </p>
<p>“So, you’ve come to take back your precious little supply ship,” the Klatooinian jeered. </p>
<p>He was a real mean-looking sonofabitch. His face was covered in scales and scars. His teeth were sharp and uneven. He made an ugly grin. </p>
<p>“Who’s the commander here?!” Kaige demanded. </p>
<p>Ymir stepped into view of the camera. He seemed calm, almost amused. His hands were on his hips. </p>
<p>“I’m Lord Ymir,” he said, “I’m sure you know my name.”</p>
<p>The Klatooinian began to laugh, a deep, belly-shaking sound. </p>
<p>The officers on the bridge looked rattled, not expecting his response, but I understood it perfectly. I was grinning. </p>
<p>Ymir let him have his laugh. “It looks like you want to play at war,” Ymir said, when the Klatooinian had stopped making sounds. </p>
<p>In the sunken console bay, men and women were hard at work tracing Kaige’s signal. There was a display in a holofeed showing which warship the transmission was coming from. </p>
<p>“You’ll soon find out that this isn’t a game,” Kaige sneered, “Did you bring Kylo Ren too?”</p>
<p>Ymir fixed Kaige with a look. I knew the man could feel it through the holofeed. </p>
<p>“You should surrender,” Ymir said. </p>
<p>“And what? You promise to spare our lives?” Kaige spat. </p>
<p>There would be no going back, no mercy. We both knew it. </p>
<p>Ymir stood silently, staring back at Kaige. “If it’s war you want, then it’s war you’ll get, Kaige. I’ll see you aboard your ship.”</p>
<p>Ymir motioned with his hand, and an officer closed the line. </p>
<p>“Admiral Josto, clear the TIE fighters and focus all your firepower on Kaige’s warship,” Ymir ordered. </p>
<p>Ymir and I remained on the bridge, watching Yuri’s squadron tear through Kaige’s defensive flotilla. </p>
<p>Once the smaller ships were out of the way, the Admiral began firing directly on the warship, hammering her shields. </p>
<p>Kaige hadn’t gone to war. It was a suicide mission. </p>
<p>His other warships were swarmed by our TIE fighters, more than they were able to handle. </p>
<p>“Admiral, get the brig ready for Kaige and his men,” Ymir said. He put a hand on my upper arm. It was time for us to go. </p>
<p>We rode the elevator down together. </p>
<p>The military shuttle was waiting for us. </p>
<p>“Commander Dralin, we’ve almost broken through Kaige’s shields,” Ymir said. </p>
<p>We entered the shuttle, walking into the midst of a large unit of black-armored stormtroopers, the strike team. </p>
<p>This was going to be a slaughter. </p>
<p>The ramp closed behind us, and we made our way to the cockpit. </p>
<p>I took one of the benches, while Ymir introduced himself and took a seat behind the captain. </p>
<p>We launched out of the hangar, leaving the Star Destroyer’s protective shields and entering the warzone. </p>
<p>It was a bumpy ride. Our pilot weaved through the chaos. </p>
<p>I could feel all the different aspects of the battle. </p>
<p>The Star Destroyer was continuing to fire, overwhelming Kaige’s defenses. Kaige’s other warships were coming to his aid, but there was a cloud of TIE fighters in their way. </p>
<p>Red and blue plasma bolts were coming from every direction. </p>
<p>I loved it. </p>
<p>Ymir turned towards me, determined light in his eyes, “It’s time.”</p>
<p>We returned to the cabin, joining the ranks of stormtroopers, and took a position by the ramp. The Commander had six men assigned to us as backup. They’d provide cover fire, and help us subdue and capture Kaige. </p>
<p>Ymir and I would be right on the front lines. </p>
<p>I felt him <i>reach</i> for me and I left myself open, enough for us to be in sync for the fight. </p>
<p>Our ship was firing as we entered the hangar, and we heard returning blaster fire bouncing off our shields. </p>
<p>“Ten seconds,” the captain announced over the ship’s comms. </p>
<p>I glanced over at Ymir. He made eye contact with me. </p>
<p>The ramp was already opening before we landed. I had my blaster in my right hand, and lightsaber in the other, ready to provide cover. </p>
<p>Ymir and I were out in the first wave, jumping the last meter to the hangar floor and opening fire on the enemy combatants. </p>
<p>Kaige’s men had seen us approaching. They had had time to prepare good positions. </p>
<p>His crew was real tough looking, mostly large Gamorreans and Trandoshan. They only had light armor. Most of them weren’t in helmets. </p>
<p>Stormtroopers fanned out.</p>
<p>Our ship continued to provide cover fire, but several of our men fell as we pushed into the hangar. </p>
<p>We were being fired on from all sides. </p>
<p>This was my specialty. </p>
<p>I loosed shot after shot, finding each of my targets. My blaster was just another extension of myself. My lightsaber was my defense, deflecting any shots headed my way. </p>
<p>To my left, Ymir was also using a blaster. He had his other hand outstretched, deflecting oncoming fire with the Force. </p>
<p>We cleared the hangar. We could hear the next wave of fighters thundering down the hall with their heavy boots. </p>
<p>Our stormtroopers hugged close to the entrance to the hangar, firing into the halls. </p>
<p>Ymir and I moved past them, moving forward into the ship. </p>
<p>My blaster stayed in my right hand. Ymir had his golden lightsaber armed now, the blade humming golden in front of him. </p>
<p>“Fucking Jedi!” I heard one of the Trandoshans shout. </p>
<p>This was going to be good. </p>
<p>Ymir and I advanced at the front of our troops, cutting down anyone who got in our way. </p>
<p>Our feet moved smoothly across the metal floors. This was a dance; it was music, urgent and deadly. </p>
<p>Nothing could break our concentration, our connection. </p>
<p>Each of us knew what the other person was about to do. We were anticipating the actions of our enemies. </p>
<p>Ymir was a brutal fighter, wielding the Force like a weapon. He <i>pushed</i> and <i>threw</i> men out of our way. The strikes of his lightsaber landed true, slicing through limbs, landing body shots. </p>
<p>I was at his side, providing cover fire. </p>
<p>Kaige wasn’t hiding. He wanted us to find him, waiting in the hallway outside the bridge. Kaige was spoiling for a fight, and we had brought him the best possible opponent, the head of the First Order. </p>
<p>Kaige was in the middle of a group of his best fighters. They had mounted a rapid-fire cannon on a tripod and two of his men were firing it down the hall at us.</p>
<p>I shot one of them, then the other. </p>
<p>Their back-up were already rushing forward to take their place at the turret as Ymir charged, <i>knocking</i> the massive gun backwards into the group of men. </p>
<p>I jogged forward, landing shots throughout the remainder of the posse. </p>
<p>Kaige was roaring orders, firing towards Ymir and me. His battle frenzy was like a fever. It was madness. He should have never picked a fight with the First Order, but now that he had, he wanted to go out in a blaze of glory. </p>
<p>I blocked the oncoming fire with my lightsaber, striding towards Kaige. </p>
<p>Our stormtroopers were behind us, but their orders were to capture Kaige alive. The fight was very much under our control. They stayed in position with their blasters pointed at the floor, waiting for their moment. </p>
<p>Ymir took the lead as I knocked out the rest of Kaige’s men with well-placed blaster shots. </p>
<p>With a hand outstretched, Ymir <i>ripped</i> the blaster out of Kaige’s hand, and <i>suspended</i> the large Klatooinian by the neck. He was a big man. His head was pressed against the ceiling, his clawed feet kicked uselessly in the air. </p>
<p>Kaige twisted, his scaly hands at his throat, fighting to get air into his lungs. He spit and cursed as hard as he could, choking and wheezing under Ymir’s power. </p>
<p>It was unceremonious. Kaige hadn’t made us break a sweat. </p>
<p>I motioned for the stormtroopers to fan out, so that they could defend us from any more goons headed our way. </p>
<p>This fight wouldn’t be over until Kaige was aboard our Star Destroyer, locked away in the brig.</p>
<p>“We should announce that we’ve taken the ship,” I said, joining Ymir’s side. </p>
<p>“That’s an excellent idea,” Ymir said, with a wolfish grin. He addressed the stormtroopers, “Take Kaige back to our shuttle, and put him in the holding cell.”</p>
<p>Four members of our escort rushed forward, unhooking manacles from their belts. </p>
<p>Some of the stormtroopers began firing on reinforcements barreling down one of the hallways. </p>
<p>We heard shouts and heavy boots, then nothing. The air was hazy with residual smoke. </p>
<p>Ymir <i>pulled</i> Kaige into unconsciousness. The large man went limp. </p>
<p>The stormtroopers applied the manacles, linking his wrists and ankles with a taut chain. </p>
<p>It took all four of them to begin dragging him away. </p>
<p>The doors to the bridge were locked. Ymir had his blaster out. He shot the control panel, but nothing happened. </p>
<p>I gave Ymir a look before placing a hand on the door <i>reaching</i> through the mechanism. </p>
<p>Blaster fire erupted from the entrance as the heavy bay doors began to slide open. </p>
<p>Ymir stretched out a hand, <i>pushing</i> back our attackers. </p>
<p>We burst into the bridge. </p>
<p>I fired shot after shot, each one landing true. Men crumpled to the ground, smoke rising from their lifeless bodies. </p>
<p>We had claimed the bridge in moments. </p>
<p>“I’ll set up the comms so we can send a to blast both of the fleets,” I said, hopping into a chair by one of the consoles. </p>
<p>I was furiously typing, selecting all major channels.</p>
<p>“How do you feel about connecting with the capital city?” I asked with a leer. </p>
<p>Ymir was giving me a prideful look. </p>
<p>“Okay, you’re a go!” I said, starting the feed. </p>
<p>“This is Lord Ymir from the bridge of Kaige Evet’s warship,” Ymir announced, “We have your leader in our custody. The battle is over. We claim this sector for the First Order.”</p>
<p>There would still be men willing to fight, but we had captured Kaige, and taken out their best vessel. It was just sweeping up the trash at this point. </p>
<p>I glanced up at Ymir and he gave me a nod. </p>
<p>I closed the line. </p>
<p>When we returned to the halls, I saw more stormtroopers than enemy combatants. </p>
<p>As we walked up the ramp, Ymir put his hand on my shoulder, “Good work, Siobhan.”</p>
<p>On the flight back, I was dizzy - elated. </p>
<p>I had been able to fight using my true power, using all of myself. </p>
<p>For the very first time, I had seen Ymir in battle. </p>
<p>As we flew away from Kaige’s warship, I noticed that the space around us was quieter. </p>
<p>There were still small eruptions of plasma bolts, but it was sporadic and far away. Our TIE fighters were chasing down the last of the men who still had some fight in them. </p>
<p>I noticed a squadron of command shuttles heading down in formation towards the planet. They were going to claim the capital city. </p>
<p>It would be a bloodbath. </p>
<p>Kaige’s people were poor. Hopefully they would just surrender, but it was hard to say. </p>
<p>I stared out the cockpit window, looking out over the planet. </p>
<p>When we returned to the Star Destroyer, we moved to the briefing room on the bridge. </p>
<p>We began receiving updates from the ground. </p>
<p>Kaige was not a mastermind. Most of his Generals, his strongest fighters, had been in the space battle. They had either been killed or had fled. </p>
<p>I discovered that as soon as our transmission went out, the other two warships in Kaige’s fleet had escaped into hyperspace. The First Order had sent an alert out to find them. </p>
<p>The remaining ground forces were weak. As soon as they saw their fleet was defeated, and their leader was captured, they were ready to surrender. </p>
<p>There was nothing left to fight for. To Kaige’s people, they were just replacing one conqueror with another. </p>
<p>Yuri returned to the briefing room. Thess was fine, and would be debriefing with the rest of the squadron.</p>
<p>The Commanders of our ground troops were dispatched to the other planets in the system. The colonization process was already underway. Yuri would be overseeing the system until it was secure.</p>
<p>Tomorrow, Kaige would have charges read out against him, then he would be publicly executed in his capital. The transmission would be sent across the Galaxy, to discourage anyone who was thinking about rising up against the First Order. </p>
<p>Sticking around to see that wasn’t an option for me. Fighting in this battle was enough exposure. I couldn’t afford to have my face attached to a colonization effort by the First Order. </p>
<p>Tomorrow, I’d be headed out to Taris to see the house Ahobri had bought. </p>
<p>Sitting in the dim briefing room, a wave of exhaustion rolled over me. All my adrenaline was spent, and there wasn’t anything left. </p>
<p>Thankfully, all we had planned was a celebration in the officer’s lounge. </p>
<p>Afterward the debrief, I was dismissed. It would be a couple of hours before we gathered in the lounge. </p>
<p>First, I had a meal in my quarters. The day had been so full of excitement that I didn’t mind eating alone. For once, I was appreciative of the quiet and the chance to think.</p>
<p>Ymir would make an appearance at the party, but he would need to leave soon for Anaxes, and the New Republic council meeting. </p>
<p>It was a very smooth bit of politicking on his part. Ymir would be arriving fresh from a justified battle, with proof of his active participation, crushing a warlord that had taken action against him. He would come into the meeting looking powerful and intimidating. </p>
<p>I took my time getting ready. </p>
<p>We were on a Star Destroyer, so there wasn’t a servant to help me. I spent a long time in the shower, taking care to scrub my skin clean, to brush and dry my hair. I left it loose around my shoulders, flowing down my upper back. </p>
<p>I donned my formal robes one layer at a time, covering myself in black and red. </p>
<p>I was dramatic with my make-up, winging my eyeliner and applying a rich shade of red to my lips. </p>
<p>I had elegant gold earrings and rings on my fingers. </p>
<p>When I arrived at the officer’s lounge, the men turned to look at me, and I felt Ymir’s eyes too. </p>
<p>I joined his circle.</p>
<p>“You look stunning,” he said, his voice low in my ear, a hand around my waist. </p>
<p>Yuri and Thess were already here with drinks in hand. Someone brought me a glass of whiskey. </p>
<p>“Thess, Yuri, I want to hear all about the battle,” I said, turning my attention towards them. </p>
<p>They were happy to talk, their eyes bright. Now that we were out of the stale briefing room, they were free to brag about their exploits. </p>
<p>We celebrated our victory like soldiers, drinking too much and sharing stories. </p>
<p>“I have a house now,” I told Ymir, “I’m going to see it tomorrow.”</p>
<p>He gave me a sly look, his eyes sparkling. “I understand that you had Ekene touring the Outer Rim, doing all the work for you.”</p>
<p>Did Ymir know about Ahobri? I wasn’t ready to know the answer. I just wanted to enjoy myself and bask in the victory. </p>
<p>“I thought he’d appreciate having a project,” I replied coolly. </p>
<p>Thess was disappointed to learn that we’d be leaving Yuri behind on the Star Destroyer. She wanted to see him for more than just a day. </p>
<p>I invited Yuri out to visit the house. He only expected the Admiral to need him for a few days, a week at most. </p>
<p>“Ditch the uniform, find a civilian ship, and come out to see us,” I said, “We’ll show you what a real good time looks like.”</p>
<p>I was already itching to be off this Star Destroyer. </p>
<p>Ymir made a point of talking with Thess, getting to know the girl. His attention made her nervous, and she stood next to Yuri in a way I wasn’t used to seeing. She kept her fingers wrapped between his, almost like they only had one arm. </p>
<p>“No one told me they were in a romantic relationship,” Ymir said, to me during a brief moment alone. </p>
<p>“You can’t know everything all the time,” I replied, taking a cool sip of my drink. </p>
<p>Ymir looked up at me. His eyes were still hungry. “I liked having you at my side today,” he said, his voice was a rumble in his chest. </p>
<p>I felt that something had shifted, given way. </p>
<p>I could feel an edge of lust in his gaze - in the way that he touched me. </p>
<p>I stayed close to him, wanting that attention. Wanting to see where it led. </p>
<p>We were going in separate directions. Ymir was off to the Core Worlds. He couldn’t even stay to enjoy this victory party. </p>
<p>I left the lounge with him, his hand was against my low back. I could feel his warmth.</p>
<p>I followed him to the elevator. The hallway was empty except for the sounds of celebration far behind us. </p>
<p>We stood across from each other with a sweet, unbearable tension between us.</p>
<p>“You’re a beautiful woman, Siobhan,” he said, tucking a lock of my hair behind my ear. </p>
<p>I leaned towards him, gentle and yielding. </p>
<p>His large hand wrapped around the back of my head, and he was pulling me towards him for a kiss. </p>
<p>Ymir’s lips pressed to mine, and I swooned, a sigh escaping from me. </p>
<p>I felt his beard against my face. I could taste the whiskey on his tongue. </p>
<p>The elevator opened. </p>
<p>“I have to go,” he said, pressing his forehead to mine, “I want to see you soon.”</p>
<p>All I could think to do was nod, like a punch-drunk fool. </p>
<p>Ymir stepped inside the elevator, and then he was gone. </p>
<p>I was left standing dazed in the hallway, my heart overflowing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>We are officially entering the final stretch. </p>
<p>I plan to return to regular bi-weekly posting, but I do anticipate needing to take another Wednesday off. I’ll let you know ahead of time. </p>
<p>Thanks so much for reading and following the story. I always love to hear from y’all in the comments.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Unmasked</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Y’all, I have been wanting to share this chapter since I started on Book 3. </p><p>Siobhan has her house. She is about to be reunited with her friends. </p><p>There’s a lot of fluff and smut to look forward to.</p><p>Siobhan will face new challenges as she continues her work as a Sith of the First Order.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you haven’t checked out my Tumblr: andromdea-rising-897 or Instagram: andromeda.rising, give it a look. </p><p>I’ve been making regular Tumblr posts about bits of media that inspire me. So far, I’ve talked about Killing Eve, Blade Runner 2049, and Princess Mononoke. </p><p>You can find my quarantine haircut on Instagram. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>I</b>
</p><p>I could still feel Ymir’s lips pressed to mine. </p><p>I returned to the party weak-kneed and distracted. I was on the edges of conversations, sticking close to Thess and Yuri. They were both drunk and having a great time; they didn’t notice that I was acting strange. </p><p>When they left, I returned to my quarters, alone. </p><p>I was in the finest quarters on The Cataclysm - my temporary bed for the night.</p><p>If it were just me, I’d leave for Taris. I wanted to be with Ahobri and Ekene. I wanted to explore my house. But Thess and Yuri hadn’t seen each other for almost a cycle and I wasn’t going to ruin their night together. </p><p>So I settled into the room, into the impersonal slab of a bed. </p><p>My thoughts swung wildly. I was elated, overwhelmed, my body still aching for Ymir’s touch. </p><p>I didn’t trust him. </p><p>He knew how I felt - this could just be an attempt to manipulate me. </p><p>But, in the moment, it felt genuine. </p><p>I still remembered how he turned me away on Korriban. </p><p>Why now? Why would he do this to me now?</p><p>Frustration and anger weren’t enough to break the spell - my body knew exactly what it wanted. Blushing furiously, and with shame making my heart beat faster, I rubbed myself to sleep thinking of Ymir. </p><p>***</p><p>The next morning, I couldn’t wait to leave The Cataclysm. </p><p>I woke up early with a humming energy inside of me. I decided to get it out in training. </p><p>I exercised and practiced with my lightsabers in the training hangar. At the end, I did a short round of meditation. I was unsettled, and I wasn’t ready to explore those emotions. I skimmed the surface, unwilling to give myself over to the dark energy beneath me. </p><p>Yuri never appeared in the training hangar. I was glad him and Thess were getting time together. </p><p>She had hoped to be reunited with him after the battle, but he was stuck here, overseeing the aftermath of Kaige’s failed uprising. </p><p>I already knew that the top brass would want me at the morning briefing. I was the highest-ranking person on this ship. They were preparing a public execution for Kaige just a few hours from now. </p><p>After training I put on my robes, the same from yesterday, and made my way to the bridge. </p><p>The Admiral was thrilled to have my ear. He chattered away about colonization procedures. I stood by him, nodding along, very silent and military. </p><p>The room was filling up with officers and Yuri was nowhere to be seen. I wondered if he was going to miss the briefing. While the Admiral talked, I thought about how I would cover for Yuri if he had ignored his alarm. </p><p>Yuri finally arrived in the last group of officers, exactly on time. He came dressed in his formal Knight robes, mask secured over his face. </p><p>I was seated with The Cataclysm’s top brass and there was an empty seat next to mine. Yuri put a wide hand on my shoulder as he sat. I gave him a wink. </p><p>The meeting sucked two hours out of my morning. I sat in the dim room, pretending to pay attention. Now that the battle was over, there was nothing else for me to do. I wasn’t staying around for the First Order’s colonization efforts. </p><p>Yuri and the Admiral took center stage for most of the meeting, reviewing numbers, intelligence about the ‘System, and strategy for colonizing this backwater hellhole. Yuri was a strong leader; he spoke decisively and with confidence; he moderated conversations, making sure that contributing officers had their say.</p><p>The First Order was concerned the Resistance might see this as an opportunity. We had done the hard work of taking out a dictator, and the population was riled up. So far, the people were submitting to us. They didn’t have the capacity to strike back. They might not be so obedient if the Resistance offered them backup. </p><p>I was glad not to be involved. </p><p>From the console embedded in the surface of the table, I sent a line to Thess: [Grab my kitbag from my quarters and wait for me on Sawai.] </p><p>After the meeting was over, the Admiral tried to get me to stick around. </p><p>“Don’t you want to stay for the execution?” he asked. </p><p>Yuri was striding over to me. </p><p>“I would, but I have another assignment. It’s time sensitive,” I told the Admiral.</p><p>Kaige was being transported from our brig down to his capital city, where a firing squad of stormtroopers would dispatch him in the central square. The execution would be broadcast throughout the Outer Rim. It was a message to Zul, Yao, and Amon, showing what would happen to anyone who tried to rise up against the First Order. </p><p>“Let me escort you to the hangar,” Yuri said, saving me from more conversations with these stuffed shirts. </p><p>We kept up our tough military act until we entered the elevator. </p><p>“Fucking inviting me to an execution like it was a party,” I sighed, leaning against the wall. </p><p>Lights flashed as we moved between floors. </p><p>“Oh come on,” Yuri teased, “You’re a big bad Sith. Don’t you like to start your mornings with a public execution?”</p><p>I gave him a look, biting my lip to hide my smile. “I thought you were going to miss the briefing. I was cooking up a plan to cover for you.”</p><p>“Well if I had known that, I would have caught a few more minutes in bed,” Yuri replied. I could hear his grin from behind the dark mask. </p><p>The elevator door slid open. </p><p>Sawai was sharing the hangar with Yuri’s personal ship, a sleek command shuttle with the wings folded up in a wedge shape. </p><p>Sawai’s side ramp was already lowered and we stepped aboard. </p><p>Thess came jogging towards us from the cockpit. </p><p>“Morning,” she said to me. After that, all of her attention was on Yuri. </p><p>He had his mask off, tucking it under his arm so they could share a kiss. </p><p>I liked seeing the two of them together. They were a funny-looking couple, but it worked. </p><p>Yuri was stocky, shorter than Ren and most of the other Knights, but he was still much taller than me. He had a wide build, with broad shoulders a large chest and thick waist. </p><p>In contrast, Thess was tiny, barely a meter and a half tall, with delicate features. She had decided to keep her hair closely buzzed, and it only made her eyes look larger and more haunting in her small face. </p><p>Thess wrapped Yuri in a fierce hug, “You’re coming to the house after, yah?” she said. </p><p>Yuri was grinning, squeezing her in return, “As soon as this assignment is over I’ll be there. It shouldn’t be more than a week.”</p><p>“Promise?” Thess said, staring up at him. </p><p>I watched Yuri, captivated by the girl’s wide yellowish gaze. It had the same effect on me. </p><p>“Promise,” he said. </p><p>I headed towards my quarters, wanting to give the couple some alone time. </p><p>“Siobhan,” Yuri called after me, “I’m glad we all got to have a mission together.”</p><p>“Thanks,” I replied with a carefree grin, “Once we get to my place we can have a real celebration.”</p><p>I went to my quarters, letting Thess and Yuri have their goodbyes without an audience. </p><p>The first thing I did was shuck off my robes and change into more comfortable clothing. </p><p>Dressed in an undershirt and leggings, I went to the kitchen. </p><p>I felt the ship’s engines warming up, so I knew Thess had returned to the cockpit. </p><p>I grabbed a couple beers and joined her at the front. </p><p>I found Thess crying as she worked. Her face was splotchy, and the tip of her nose was bright red. </p><p>“Hey sweetie,” I said, taking the copilot’s chair and passing her a beer. </p><p>“Sorry,” she said, wiping at her eyes with her jacket sleeve. </p><p>She gratefully accepted the beer. </p><p>“Don’t be,” I replied, “You care about him.” I cracked open my drink, taking a deep sip. </p><p>“Hope he come to the house soon. Tomorrow,” Thess replied with a shaky smile. </p><p>“I know how you feel.” </p><p>I was counting down the minutes until I saw Ahobri. </p><p>I sent a message to her saying we were just a few hours away. There was a tremble of excitement in my fingers as I typed. </p><p>***</p><p>From Badda-Shi, it was only three hours in hyperspace to Taris. </p><p>Thess and I had been going from one meeting to another for weeks on end. This was the first time that we didn’t have any real work lying ahead of us. </p><p>We spent a couple of hours just drinking and enjoying ourselves. </p><p>“I’m so impressed with you,” I told her, as we sat at the kitchen table playing Dejarik. </p><p>“Because winning game?” Thess replied with a grin. </p><p>She was destroying me. I didn’t stand a chance. </p><p>“Way to rub it in,” I muttered, giving her a grudging smile, “No, I’m impressed that you went flying with the squadron yesterday. You didn’t have to. That was brave.”</p><p>“Don’t see action with you,” Thess said, “Wanted to fly with Yuri.”</p><p>“I mean, you flew in a space battle to impress your boyfriend. I never make that kind of effort,” I replied with a lazy smile, taking a drink. </p><p>Thess laughed, and captured my strongest piece. </p><p>I took the final hour to get ready. </p><p>I hadn’t seen Ahobri in almost a full cycle. We had parted ways at Ekene’s estate after the meeting with the Smuggler’s Alliance, and our paths hadn’t crossed since. </p><p>My thoughts were entirely focused on her. I was grateful for something to take my mind off Ymir. </p><p>I dressed carefully, putting on an outfit I knew Ahobri would like; I wore a pair of high-waisted, wide legged black pants; I chose a strapless, shimmering, gold top that pushed my breasts up and together. </p><p>I wanted the chance to show off my new tattoos on my right arm. Thess had put hours into making gorgeous geometric designs along my upper arm and shoulder. Ahobri had seen it when we talked on the comms, but I wanted to flaunt it in person. </p><p>I glanced down at the complicated geometric designs, rubbing my thumb over the bare patches. Thess hadn’t tattooed over the thick scar Ren had given me. </p><p>My make-up was dark. I took the time to wing my eyeliner. I painted my lips black, with a single gold stripe down the center. Ahobri said that she had liked the look. </p><p>I made final preparations, stashing my lightsabers away in a hidden panel in my quarters and locking the panels that held my Sith robes. </p><p>That was all there was to it. </p><p>I wasn’t making preparations for an assignment. </p><p>I was coming home. </p><p>***</p><p>Taris left much to be desired for natural beauty. </p><p>The planet’s clouds were low and smoggy. The atmosphere swirled with shades of orange, tan, and gray. Manufacturing had ruined the place. </p><p>But once we sank beneath the clouds, I could feel the life of the massive city below. Every square centimeter of the surface had been developed, until it was all one planet-spanning city. </p><p>We arrived at night. Lights glittered from buildings and ships in bustling lanes of traffic. </p><p>I called Ahobri as soon as we cleared atmosphere. </p><p>She answered right away, “Siobhan! You’re almost here?”</p><p>Ahobri had a full face of make-up on. We had both gotten dressed up for one another. </p><p>“We’re just a few minutes away,” I said. </p><p>“I’m so excited! See you soon, love!”</p><p>I closed the line. </p><p>As we cruised through the city, I realized I was on the edge of my seat, peering out the windows at my new neighborhood. I felt like a yokel, gawping at things I was familiar with. </p><p>But this time, it was my house. I had bought it with my own money. I owned it, and all my friends were waiting for me. </p><p>Thess navigated us through lanes of traffic. </p><p>My house was in a row of three puck-shaped buildings, all connected by one massive cable that ran vertically into the sky. At the top, the cable was tethered to a large spindle-shaped building that floated in the atmosphere. The bottom of the cable was anchored to the top of a skyscraper.</p><p>There were two other buildings attached to the cable. </p><p>“Mine is at the top,” I told Thess. </p><p>It was a dumb comment, she could see the directions on the console. </p><p>The bottom half of the building was made out of a purplish metal. The top half was all windows and terraces, glowing warm and golden against the smoggy night sky. </p><p>Wrapped around the center of the building was a wide landing. </p><p>Ahobri was outside, standing with Ekene and Troye. Finally, a welcome party that I wanted to see. They waved to us as we touched down. </p><p>My heart was hammering in my chest. </p><p>I felt like I was in a dream as I left the cockpit and made my way down the side ramp. Thess followed, a pace behind. </p><p>Ahobri ran over, wrapping me in a tight hug. I scooped her towards me and gave her a dip as I kissed her. Her lips were sweet against mine, helping to shake loose those nagging thoughts of Ymir. </p><p>“I love you so much,” I whispered to her, loving the feel of her skin against mine. </p><p>Ekene was strolling over. He gave Thess a warm hug. </p><p>Troye was less reserved. </p><p>As soon as Ahobri and I had our moment, he was barrelling into us, wrapping us in his arms, covering my cheeks with kisses. </p><p>“Don’t worry, I missed you too, Troye,” I said, patting him on the back. </p><p>The wind was whipping at us, fiercely tugging at our hair and clothing. </p><p>“It’s even better inside,” Ahobri said, taking my hand, and guiding me towards the glass doors. I noticed there were two security droids stationed there. </p><p>The doors smoothly slid open, and I stepped inside my house for the very first time. </p><p>I could smell how new the place was. It had the scent of cleaning, fresh paint, and unused furniture. </p><p>Ahobri took my hand. “I thought we’d have a drink first, and then I can give you the tour.”</p><p>I gave her hand a squeeze, meeting her kind brown eyes, “You are so beautiful,” I told her. </p><p>It was the only thing I could think to say, barely scraping the surface of how I felt. </p><p>“I missed you, Siobhan,” Ahobri said, her voice was soft. </p><p>Ekene and Troye walked a pace behind us, having their own welcoming conversation with Thess. </p><p>Ahobri led me around the exterior hallway. The outside facing wall was all glass, giving us a view of the city, dark and sparkling around us. </p><p>I only had eyes for Ahobri</p><p>She really was beautiful. She wore a gauzy dress that was white at the top and faded to a cloudy gray color at the bottom. She had shiny silver sandals on her feet. The light colors brought out the green in her skin. </p><p>Even after all this time, she wore the silver armbands and headband I had bought for her. She had left her headtails loose, hanging freely down her back, almost reaching her waist. </p><p>We walked around the hall, coming to an entranceway. There was a security droid with a silver chassis standing guard. We passed through without a word. </p><p>“You and Thess have already been programmed in,” Ahobri said, noticing the question in my gaze. </p><p>We found ourselves in another hall, spotted with a few doors. At the end of the hall was an open circular lounge. There were a couple of familiar faces there, people I knew from the Outpost, and a few more faces I didn’t know. </p><p>I raised a hand in greeting. They looked my way. </p><p>“I got something special for us,” Ahobri said, bustling over to the bar. </p><p>The bar was made out of some well-polished tawny wood. There were glass shelves for bottles, but they were mostly empty except for the lowest countertop. It was scattered with bottles of wine, liquor, and beer. </p><p>Ahobri went behind the bar and started rummaging in a cabinet. </p><p>Ekene took the opportunity to join me, “It’s good to see you, Siobhan,” he said, giving me a hug. </p><p>I squeezed him back, my head against his chest. Thoughts of Ymir came flooding back to me. I felt overwhelmed and vulnerable, and I tried my best to hide it. </p><p>“Thanks for helping with this, and taking care of Ahobri,” I said, meeting his chocolate brown eyes. </p><p>Troye had taken Thess over to the round sunken floor of the lounge, and was introducing her to the men and women. They were passing around a water pipe on the cushioned bench. </p><p>For once, Troye was wearing pants. He was actually dressed plainly - a white tunic, black pants, and bare feet. His only accessory was a loud magenta sash tied around his waist, with a big bow at the side of his hip. For him, that was understated. </p><p>“I thought we would celebrate in style,” Ahobri said, with a very fine bottle of bubbly alcohol in her hand. </p><p>I read the label: Motet. It was top shelf, the best of the best. </p><p>I gave her a wide grin, “So this one’s for me?” I replied. </p><p>“Oh, I got us plenty,” Ahobri said, gesturing to a case behind the bar, “Open that one for us to have a toast, then you can have one of your own.”</p><p>Ahobri was pulling elegant fluted glasses down from another cabinet. </p><p>I went to her side and kissed her cheek. </p><p>Ekene helped her take down glasses for the nine of us. </p><p>He looked well - much better than the first weeks after his breakup with Ymir. His eyes were brighter, his expression more open.</p><p>His locs were loose around his shoulders, decorated with a mix of silver and gold bands. He wore a familiar outfit, a beautiful silk robe in a swirling mix of blue and green. </p><p>“All right, come on over for a toast!” I announced to the room, popping the bottle of bubbly alcohol. </p><p>Troye, Thess, and the rest of the people gathered as I began to pour generous glasses. </p><p>I popped a second bottle</p><p>When everyone was served, I took my own glass in hand, surveying our group of nine. </p><p>I assumed the other people were ex-Outpost staff, or were connected to Jukhara in some way; there were two men, a human and Kaminoan that I didn’t know; the three women looked familiar - there was a Gran, Twi’lek, and Utapaun, but I didn’t know any of their names. </p><p>I held my glass up, “For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Siobhan Zhang,” I announced, “I look forward to getting to know you.” I looked to Ahobri, taking her hand, “Ahobri has known me the longest and is probably the most surprised to be sharing this moment with me.”</p><p>There was a friendly murmur of laughter. Ahobri was already fighting tears, squeezing my left hand. </p><p>I squeezed back. “I know for a fact that I wouldn’t be here without you,” I continued, not letting her off the hook, “You’ve helped me find my feet more times than I can count.”</p><p>Ahobri was crying now, and I put an arm around her waist, turning to Thess, “Thess, I’m so glad to have you here and part of this team. You haven’t stopped surprising me since we met. I’m always learning more about you.”</p><p>Thess was blushing furiously, red behind the tattooed lines on her cheeks. </p><p>Next was Ekene, starting to look misty-eyed as Ahobri wept happy tears next to me, “Ekene, I’m glad you decided to give me a chance. You’ve been a true friend through uncertain times. I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done.”</p><p>He took the compliment gracefully, a proud look in his eye. </p><p>“Troye,” I continued, he gave me a smug look, “I really don’t know what I was thinking…” I teased. </p><p>There was another ripple of laughter, while Troye pouted. </p><p>I flashed him a grin. “I’m so happy you bought your contract, and I’m glad to have you here.”</p><p>“That’s more like it,” Troye said. </p><p>“To us!” I said, holding up my glass. </p><p>“To us,” the rest of the group echoed. </p><p>We touched glasses, the crystal making a glittering twinkling sound. Soon we were drinking deeply. I was refilling glasses, shaking hands, and learning everyone’s names. </p><p>The Twi’lek woman was named Gela, the Utapaun woman was Ido, and the Gran woman was Quann. The human man was Varik, and the Kaminoan man was Jhora. </p><p>With full glasses in hand, and a bottle tucked under my arm, Ahobri began to give me the tour. Ekene and Thess joined us, and Troye came along with Quann and Ido. </p><p>The other three stayed in the lounge to drink and smoke the evening away. We’d have plenty of time to get acquainted later. </p><p>We started at the bottom of the house. </p><p>I had two hangars for ships. There were already mechanic droids and a Dug valet employed and waiting. I gave him the instructions to move Sawai into a hangar. She was a very fancy ship, and she’d start attracting attention if I left her out on the landing. </p><p>Ekene’s shuttle was already tucked away. It was a very stylish sporty thing, in flashy shades of blue and yellow. </p><p>Above the hangars were the floors for our security team and servants. Right now we mostly had service droids, freshly delivered from a company Ekene was connected to. Ahobri had been doing interviews with a couple different companies he had used, so we would have more staff soon.  </p><p>I briefly met the head of security, a jowly old man with a gruff military air to him. His name was Marle Guerrin. He had a closely shaved head covered in white bristly hair, and a beard about the same length. He wore a simple black jumpsuit. His hands were calloused and knobby. </p><p>“We’ll have a sit-down soon, but it’s very nice to meet you,” I said, warmly shaking his hand. </p><p>“Pleasure to meet you, Zhang. I’m looking forward to speaking with you and learning more about what you need for the house,” he replied. </p><p>After that we were moving up to the working floors, where there were kitchens, laundry, and a maintenance workshop. </p><p>Above that were a series of living spaces. There were offices, bedrooms, lounges, and rooms for dancing and entertaining. <br/>I dismissed Troye, Quann and Ido as we rose through the building. They headed off to join the rest of the crew in the lounge.</p><p>I was gentle with Troye. I had missed him and I wanted to spend time catching up, but I couldn’t stand having to watch my conversation. I wasn’t able to talk about anything that I had been doing. Half of our group didn’t know I was working for the First Order. They didn’t know I was a Sith. </p><p>I gave Troye a hug and a kiss, and promised to give him more attention soon. </p><p>Our group, our core group, travelled to the top floor together. It was the most lavish and secure floor in the building. We needed to punch in a code for the elevator to take us up, and a security droid was waiting at the top, as an extra measure of safety.</p><p>There were six large and comfortable suites. Along with that was a meeting room, a gym, and a room that Ahobri had set aside for my meditations. </p><p>Ahobri waited to show off the master bedroom last. </p><p>There was another security droid posted outside my door. Inside was a small round entranceway, bare except for an elaborate bouquet of flowers on top of a round ornate wooden table. </p><p>“Ahobri…” I breathed, walking over to them, “These are beautiful.” </p><p>The flowers were an artful explosion of color.</p><p>“I chose the arrangement. Ekene had them shipped in from Naboo,” Ahobri said. </p><p>Tears sprang into my eyes, “Thank you.”</p><p>Ekene, Ahobri, and I hugged. Thess examined the flowers, gently touching a couple of the largest multi-colored blossoms. </p><p>“I wanted something nice, to welcome you home,” Ahobri said, tearing up in response to my emotion. </p><p>We entered a sitting room. Right now the room was sparse. There was a single sofa that I recognized from the old apartment on Artrix, along with a couple of throw pillows, blankets, and a waterpipe. </p><p>“We’ll get this place looking the way you want it,” Ahobri assured me. </p><p>I gave her a smile, knowing that she’d have this entire house furnished and decorated in a couple of weeks. </p><p>There was an office that was completely empty, with bookshelves built into the walls. </p><p>My bedroom had Ahobri’s old bed and one of her rugs. One of the walls was a bay window, with a terrace balcony looking out over the city.</p><p>Ahobri chattered about what we could do with the space to make it ‘my’ room. I remembered some of what she said from when she gave me the tour over her comms. </p><p>The bathroom had a large soaking tub, and a fancy shower that poured water from the ceiling. </p><p>I felt dazed. I had spent the last year going from place to place to place - sleeping on starships more often than not. </p><p>This was my home. This was my room. I wasn’t going to be endlessly on the move. I had a house. </p><p>Ahobri officially ended the tour. We gathered in my sitting room, arranging ourselves on the sofa, blankets, and cushions. </p><p>I set up the waterpipe while Ahobri requested for food and wine to be brought up. </p><p>When I was done, I took a pull and sprawled on the sofa. Thess and Ekene took cross-legged seats on the floor, draping themselves over pillows. </p><p>When Ahobri returned to the couch, I pulled her to me. She laughed as I covered her in kisses, moving from her cheeks to her neck to her bare shoulders. </p><p>Ekene watched us with a sparkling light in his eyes. Thess took a long pull from the water pipe. </p><p>Ahobri took the hose. She was settled between my legs, her back resting against my chest. Even having her this close to me was enough for me to start getting warm and wet. </p><p>“I heard that there was some excitement in the Nijune sector yesterday,” Ekene said, taking the hose next, “Was that you?” he asked, a large cloud of smoke billowing with his question. </p><p>“That was us,” I replied, “Thess was flying combat with Yuri.”</p><p>“Thess!” Ahobri exclaimed, “Tell me all about it!”</p><p>This was Kaige Evet. It wasn’t Otomok. It had been an honest fight. He was an evil man, a brutal dictator to his people. He had acted against the First Order and suffered the consequences. </p><p>Thess shared her excitement from the battle, the close calls, the victories of Yuri and his squadron. </p><p>As she talked, a service droid came up with food and wine. We leisurely ate and drank as we caught up. </p><p>I told them about going into battle at Ymir’s side, fighting as a Sith. </p><p>Ekene’s expression looked strained as I talked about Ymir, but he kept up a brave face and I moved on quickly. </p><p>The memory of Ymir’s kiss lingered in my mind. I had no idea how Ekene would react if I told him about it. I didn’t plan to bring it up. </p><p>Ekene asked about Yuri, how he was doing. Thess cut in, thrilled to talk about her boyfriend. She had hoped that he would be here tonight, but he was stuck in Nijune until the colonization efforts had stabilized. </p><p> </p><p>This felt good. We had been chatting over comms, but it wasn’t the same as sitting in person having a conversation while sharing food and wine. </p><p>Ahobri and Ekene had been having a grand time this last cycle, flitting between the Core worlds and the Outer Rim. </p><p>Ekene had been showing her the high life, while Ahobri had been showing him how most people in the Galaxy lived. I discovered that Ahobri had met the opera singer, Helena Dahn. They had all partied together on Lanz Carpo. </p><p>Ahobri had taken Ekene, in disguise, on her meetings with criminal leaders. One of the biggest considerations in choosing a house was how receptive the local criminal elements would be to us. She had done a lot of outreach and diplomacy with different underground organizations, introducing herself and building relationships. </p><p>Ekene had gone undercover as a bodyguard, wearing a mask taking a false name, and keeping his mouth shut. They had a security droid with them in case of actual danger. </p><p>“I’ve never done anything like that before,” Ekene said with a wide smile, “I had no idea that world existed, and Ahobri was completely unflappable, even with some very nasty characters.”</p><p>“Atonai wasn’t a nasty character. You never even met with any actual Hutts,” Ahobri teased. </p><p>“Well I’m inviting Sul Haak and his cronies over here, so you still might get your chance,” I replied. <br/>We enjoyed our food, and opened more bottles. </p><p>Ahobri and Ekene asked about my new tattoos. I let Thess do most of the talking. She described what the designs meant and told them about learning to make tattoos when she was just sixteen. </p><p>By this time, my head was foggy with wine and I felt like the night was dragging on. I wanted time alone with Ahobri. My arms were wrapped tightly around her while she lay against me on the couch. </p><p>“Okay, I know I usually don’t do this, but Thess, Ekene, I’m kicking you out,” I said. </p><p>We stood up to hug and kiss goodbyes. </p><p>I was on top of Ahobri as soon as Thess and Ekene left the room. </p><p>She laughed as I pounced on her, kissing her fiercely. </p><p>“Gods… I missed you so much,” I murmured, barely leaving enough space between our lips to talk. </p><p>Soon Ahobri was gasping as my hands began to explore her body, getting reintroduced to her curves. We kissed and groped on the couch for a while, before ordering more wine. </p><p>We moved our love making into the shower. </p><p>Water poured over us as I pressed Ahobri back against the tiles, working my hand between her legs while I sucked on her nipples. Her cries echoed off the tiles as steam rose around us. Ahobri’s legs trembled and shook. I let out a long sigh as I felt her orgasm roll along her body. </p><p>After the shower we were warm. All of our make-up was washed away. </p><p>I had Ahobri up on the marble counter in the bathroom, kneeling between her legs, lapping at her, while she arched her back and moaned. </p><p>When we were done there, we retrieved the wine and took a place on the couch, draped in simple silk robes. </p><p>Ahobri laid out on the sofa and had me straddle her face. </p><p>She pumped her fingers inside of me while lapping at my clit. </p><p>It had been a few weeks since I had fucked anyone. After the encounter with Ymir, I was sensitive, aching for something that I couldn’t have. </p><p>My orgasm washed over me suddenly, and I screamed, feeling how my muscles spasmed around Ahobri’s fingers. She was still pumping in a steady rhythm, drawing out my pleasure. </p><p>We stayed up all night, making love and drinking wine. </p><p>I got to see my first dawn over Taris, in the first house I had ever owned. </p><p>
  <b>II</b>
</p><p>The next day I felt awful, but I didn’t mind. </p><p>I woke up with a heavy fog settled over my brain and sand in my mouth. The wine, so sweet before, had left a stale, sour taste on my tongue. </p><p>But I didn’t mind. </p><p>There wasn’t anything I needed to do. No one needed me for anything. It was a huge relief. </p><p>The giant wall of windows in my room was dimmed. I could tell that it was light outside, but the tinting spared us the full blast of the two suns. </p><p>I rolled over in bed. Ahobri lay next to me, she was warm, drooling slightly as she snored. I could smell her morning breath - just as bad as mine. </p><p>I stayed in bed, watching her sleep for a few minutes. </p><p>Ahobri and I were in bed in my home. </p><p>In our home. </p><p>It was unbelievable. Both of us had dreamed about this back when we were at The Outpost, saving up to buy our contracts. We had told each other we would leave, make a lot of money, and start a house together. </p><p>At the time, it felt like a fantasy. It was just a story to motivate us. It probably wasn’t going to actually happen, but that didn’t matter. The dream had given me hope.</p><p>And now we were here. We had actually done it. </p><p>Eventually, I got out of bed. I ordered up breakfast, a hangover cure, and more wine. </p><p>Ahobri woke when the service droid came in, pushing a cart with everything set up. </p><p>“Good morning darling,” I said, kissing her on the cheek as she groaned and shifted in bed.</p><p>I had a green pill in hand and a glass of water to wash it down, “Take this, you’ll feel better.”</p><p>Ahobri accepted both gratefully. </p><p>We ate our breakfast in bed, munching on pastries, fruit, and meat. </p><p>After breakfast we dozed. Ahobri slept with her head resting against my shoulder. I had my arm around her. It was a perfect moment of contentment. </p><p>My body began to respond. I was feeling warm, and started to kiss Ahobri awake. </p><p>She returned the attention, her hips rolling as I began to suck on her nipples. </p><p>I moved her underneath me, teeth nipping lightly at the skin along her belly, making her yelp and laugh. </p><p>When I took my place between her legs, I was slow, first kissing my way along her thighs, feeling the way heat and desire moved across her body. </p><p>Only after she was good and worked up, did I begin to lap at her, filling her with my fingers, curling them deep inside her. </p><p>Ahobri was incredibly wet. Her moans were deeper, more guttural. I drew out her pleasure, making her wait, listening to the edge of frustration in her voice. Her thighs trembled and shook. Her hands and feet pushed at the blankets. </p><p>I loved making her squirm. I loved the way she breathed my name, begging me to let her come. </p><p>I was wet and worked up myself, clenching and sighing as she bucked her hips against my hand. </p><p>At the end, I moved a hand to her low belly, pressing down, as I pumped my other hand in a steady rhythm. My tongue flickered between her legs, matching my pace to the motion of her hips. </p><p>Ahobri clenched around me, curling forward, feet pushing at the sheets. </p><p>I continued pumping my hand, my tongue lapping at her. </p><p>Ahobri tensed again. I could feel her low belly tighten, muscles squeezing as another orgasm began to rise. </p><p>“Sio!...” she panted, drawing in one more breath before the second wave came, “Gods!” she shouted, gushing wet around my hand. </p><p>She was mewling, crying out gibberish. </p><p>I slowed the pressure and motion of my hand, knowing she’d be sensitive now. I pulled Ahobri to me. We kissed, raw and sweet and perfect. </p><p>Ahobri fell asleep in my arms. </p><p>***</p><p>“Fuck,” Ahobri grumbled, “We have to get out of bed.”</p><p>“Why?” I murmured, running my hand down her waist, over the swell of her hip. </p><p>“We’re wasting the day,” Ahobri said, pushing herself up. </p><p>“I think we’re having a very nice day,” I said, tracing my fingertips down her thigh. </p><p>The tinting on the windows made it hard to tell what time it was. I guessed late afternoon, closer to evening. </p><p>Ahobri got out of bed and stretched her arms over her head, twisting this way and that. </p><p>I loved watching her silhouette against the windows. She had small breasts, wide hips, a gorgeous ass, a rounded belly and thighs. </p><p>“Stay here,” I asked plaintively. I was lying flat on my belly, reaching out to her. My fingertips could just graze the side of her hip. </p><p>Ahobri looked at me, surprised by my tone. </p><p>“I just want to spend time with you today. Please,” I said, emotion rising in me. </p><p>It was a confusing bubbling mix of joy and sorrow.  </p><p>Ahobri took my hand, meeting my eyes, “I will.”</p><p>We finally left our bed. <br/>Ahobri took a shower. I poured us wine, ordering more snacks. </p><p>We set ourselves up on the floor in a cozy nest of blankets and pillows. We sat cross-legged, draped in our robes; mine was blue, Ahobri’s was cream-colored. </p><p>“I want to see your tattoos again,” Ahobri said, gently pushing down the sleeve. </p><p>I let it drop from my shoulders. </p><p>She ran her fingertips along the designs. </p><p>“The one at the bottom was the first,” I said, pointing to the three bands at the top of my forearm, next to my elbow, “She made these while we were doing all those hyperspace runs.”</p><p>“She did this all freehand?” Ahobri asked, tracing one of the designs. </p><p>“Yeah, she’s using Ithan designs. I don’t remember what they all mean,” I said. </p><p>“They’re beautiful,” Ahobri said, “I couldn’t imagine sitting still for something like that, but they suit you.”</p><p>Ahobri kissed me, her hand sliding through my hair. Goosebumps rolled down my back as I pressed my lips to hers. </p><p>“You’ve changed,” Ahobri said. She moved back, studying me at arm’s distance. </p><p>“I have.”</p><p>I was practicing telling the truth. </p><p>It didn’t come naturally to me. I automatically thought up lies, ways to deflect people’s questions and observations. </p><p>I didn’t want to do that anymore, not with Ahobri. </p><p>She took a seat next to me in bed, her hand resting between my shoulderblades. </p><p>I looked up at her, “I’ve been exploring the Darkside,” I told her, “I’m… I’m starting to… I don’t know if ‘understand’ is the right word. But it feels closer to me now. It’s a part of me.”</p><p>Ahobri closed her eyes, reaching for me in her own way, with her empathy. </p><p>I opened myself to her, letting her in. It was more than I had allowed in a long time, even in battle with Ymir.</p><p>“Kaige was nothing to us,” I said as I shared the emotion with her, the battle frenzy, “We stormed his ship. We cut through his men. It was all over in just minutes.”</p><p>Ymir hadn’t even acknowledged Kaige after he had captured him. He had simply restrained the man and our stormtroopers had taken him away in shackles. </p><p>“And now Kaige’s people are underneath another warlord,” I said, not hiding my bitterness.</p><p>“How are you and Ymir doing?” Ahobri asked. </p><p>“Aw, fuck,” I replied, rolling onto my back, flopping and arm across my eyes, “I’m not ready to answer that.”</p><p>Ahobri looked at me, trying to decide if my response meant something good or bad. </p><p>“I think it’s… better?” I said, peeking out from underneath my arm. </p><p>Ahobri laughed, shaking her head. </p><p>“I think we’ve come to an understanding,” I clarified. </p><p>There was a stretch of silence. I stared up at the ceiling. </p><p>I thought about Ymir, saying that he wanted to see me soon. He knew I had a place now. I thought about Yuri arriving, once he was done in Nijune. I thought about how Ekene had taken Ahobri around, meeting all his friends. </p><p>My voice was soft, my lips barely moving. “I’ve dragged you into something very dangerous.” </p><p>Ahobri returned to the bed, sliding next to me, her body pressed against mine. “I know,” she replied, kissing my cheek, “I made the decision to come with you anyways.”</p><p>“Ymir knows about you by now. He has to,” I said, my throat tightening. </p><p>It was hard to say the words without choking up. </p><p>“Ekene talked to me,” Ahobri said, “Before we started visiting the Core Worlds together. He explained the risks. We took some precautions. I didn’t use my real name with them.”</p><p>The tears were flowing, silently down my cheeks. </p><p>I had never been brave enough to talk to Ahobri about this. It was like I was afraid to talk about the danger, for fear I might summon it.</p><p>“I’m not going to let anything happen,” I said, taking hold of her hand. </p><p>“Ekene talked about the consequences,” Ahobri continued, “It was my choice to go with him.”</p><p>“He has connections that can keep you safe, if this all goes sideways,” I said, trying to sound calm. </p><p>“He gave me a contact,” Ahobri said, “There’s a way for me to disappear.”</p><p>It wasn’t foolproof. It wasn’t certain. Nothing could be.</p><p>“I’m going to do everything in my power to keep you safe,” I said, “I’m never going to let Ymir hurt you.”</p><p>Ahobri pulled me close, kissing my forehead, “I know,” she said, “But I accept the risk, too.”</p><p>She paused and let out a sigh, rolling onto her back, “All that time, I thought I had a good life at The Outpost. It’s only now that I realize that I was hiding. I wasn’t living at all.”</p><p>I scooted onto my side. “Don’t say that,” I said, running a finger down her sternum, tracing a line to her belly button. </p><p>“Why not?” Ahobri said, tilting her face towards me, “It’s true. The world is dangerous, and I was always on the sidelines, watching you dive in feet-first.”</p><p>I barked a laugh, “Don’t start acting like me.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m not,” Ahobri quipped, patting my belly, “But I’m done making my choices out of fear.”</p><p>“Gods, I love you,” I said, pulling her under me again. </p><p>This time when we made love, we were open with one another. </p><p>I was open with Ahobri. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> for her, sinking my awareness along her body.</p><p>“Is this all right?” I asked, understanding the way heat and need radiated along her. </p><p>“Yes!” she gasped, as I followed it along her body, tracing a path with my lips and tongue. </p><p>I spent time with her head in my lap, stroking along her headtails, while she moaned and drifted in pleasure. </p><p>She let go, trusting me. </p><p>Connected in this way, I made Ahobri come over and over again, touching every part of her body that needed attention. </p><p>She did the same for me, her fingers, teeth, and tongue making me cry out and spasm, gushing wet around her hand. </p><p>We slept for a long time afterwards, waking up after midnight. </p><p>We had a treat, ordering sweets and wine for ourselves, setting up the waterpipe out on the terrace beyond my bedroom windows. </p><p>I sat on a cushion, my robe draped around my shoulders, watching the city glitter - taking in its sights, sounds, and smells - taking in the energy of its inhabitants. </p><p>“Not too bad for a couple of Outpost whores,” I said with a grin, touching my glass to Ahobri’s.</p><p>She met my smile with one of her own, “Not too bad at all.” </p><p>
  <b>III</b>
</p><p>The following day, I got to work. </p><p>It wasn’t early morning, but it was before noon at least. </p><p>I left Ahobri sleeping in bed. </p><p>Service droids had brought up a trunk of clothes from Sawai, and I pulled on a very simple outfit: leggings, a tunic, my olive jacket, and a pair of boots. </p><p>I headed out of my room to find Ekene. </p><p>I found him in a suite down the hall. He was in his sitting room with a holoprojector up in front of him. He was watching a newsfeed. </p><p>“Can I have Ahobri back now?” he teased, his eyes sparkling. </p><p>“She probably needs a few hours,” I replied, dropping onto on the sofa next to him, resting my heels on the low table. </p><p>Ekene gave me a look and turned off the holoprojector. He was dressed for sitting around - shirtless, with a night robe around his shoulders, and loose pants with the drawstring undone. </p><p>“We should meditate,” I said, “Then we should talk business.”</p><p>Ekene tilted his head, giving me a playful look, “This isn’t the Siobhan I know. What happened to you?” He took my hand as we rose from the sofa. </p><p>“I think I finally decided that I’m a Sith,” I replied. </p><p>Ekene smiled, but his look became more thoughtful as he considered my words. </p><p>We took a seat on the floor. I recognized the rug; it was one of Ahobri’s. She had had it for as long as I could remember. We sat cross-legged. Our knees were close. </p><p>“I’m out of practice,” Ekene admitted, “It’s… painful. It reminds me of… him.”</p><p>“It’s okay. I’ll guide you,” I replied. </p><p>We began settling into our breath. I <i>reached</i> for Ekene, like I was taking his hand. I felt his awareness, hazy and unfocused. </p><p>The lack of practice really had made a difference, like a dormant muscle being asked to flex again. Ekene’s aura felt sticky and slow to respond. I coaxed him open. </p><p>We drifted into the Darkside together, the shared space of meditation. </p><p>I needed to keep Ekene on my side. I needed to give him something that would push any lingering doubt from his mind. I needed him to trust me. Completely.</p><p>I shared impressions of the meeting with Raj. I pulled Ekene deeper into the meditation, showing him my feelings of disgust and anger.</p><blockquote>
  <p>They thought they could control me. They thought they could manipulate me. I wasn’t a pawn for them to use.</p>
</blockquote><p>Ekene wasn’t close enough to see my memories, but he felt the visceral response I had towards Raj and Snoke. </p><p>I shared my experience of the supernova, the push and pull of energy, the death that wasn’t a death at all. </p><p>Ekene felt that I wasn’t consumed by doubt anymore. </p><p>“Ymir is going to use me against Snoke,” I said, bringing us back to the world. </p><p>Ekene nodded, slowly blinking, opening and closing his hands - remembering that he had a body. “Has Lord Ymir asked you to kill him?” </p><p>I shook my head, “Not yet, but I think he will soon.”</p><p>“And will you?”</p><p>“I will.”</p><p>“I’m proud of you, Siobhan,” Ekene said, meeting my eyes, “You’re making the right decision.”</p><p>It was a lie by omission. Ymir wanted to use me against Snoke. Snoke wanted to use me against Ymir. I was going to bring them all down together. </p><p>Ekene saw what he wanted to see. </p><p>The deception was a stain on my heart, joining the rest. </p><p>***</p><p>Ahobri found me and Ekene. We were talking specifics about the house. She gave Ekene a hug and a kiss, but it was me she curled up next to. </p><p>Ekene was explaining that he had donated some of his legal team’s time to create an untraceable document trail for this house. </p><p>The money was impossible to follow. If anyone went digging, it would look like our mysterious employer had set us up here. </p><p>We were going to present this place as Ahobri’s residence, not mine. It made things easier for me. I could come and go as I pleased, while Ahobri held court. </p><p>Ahobri had already found a work-around for one of my minor problems. </p><p>The staff and droids were instructed to just call me Zhang. I was using two different names between the Hutts and the Smuggler’s Alliance. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if they found ou, people used false names and aliases, but this kept the problem of my multiple identities from rising to the surface. </p><p>Ahobri also gave me more information on the new faces in my home. </p><p>I was right, my staff were all ex-Outpost or had worked with Jukhara for years. Ahobri had started new contracts with them. They signed clauses about secrecy, privacy, and discretion. The language was borrowed from our agreements at The Outpost. At the end of the day, it wouldn’t stop people from talking, but it set an expectation that we could enforce internally if we got wind that someone was fueling rumors. </p><p>Ekene explained our security. </p><p>He had connections with a private company that normally only had a presence in the Core Worlds, the elite of the elite. He pulled some strings for them to agree to work out here. I’d be paying out the ass for it. </p><p>Marle Guerrin, my head of security, knew that I was First Order, and he knew that I worked directly under Ymir. So he had an implied knowledge that I was a Sith, without Ekene ever saying the words. </p><p>This company operated with the highest level of discretion and secrecy. </p><p>I knew better than to put complete faith in a company, but it was close enough for me. </p><p>Along with providing security for the house, they had undercover agents for our trips into the city. There were bodyguards that would work plain-clothes, completely unseen, and bodyguards that would put on a show, presenting the right kind of image. </p><p>Ahobri had been using them strategically as she explored town. It was helping her connect with the local criminal organizations. When people saw her traveling with hired muscle, it made her look important and powerful, and, by extension, very interesting. </p><p>That afternoon, Ahobri and I had a meeting with Marle Guerrin. We explained the broad outlines of our work and what we would need from him and his security team. </p><p>I was about to make life hell for them. </p><p>I had been a courier, an errand boy, bringing gangsters information and money. Soon, I’d be asking them to come to me instead. We’d be hosting all kinds of criminal leaders, big and small, along with members of their crew and their women. We’d entertain them and throw parties. </p><p>It was a security nightmare. </p><p>Marle took it in stride. He listened to my plans and made notes on a tablet, asking for details and clarification when necessary. There wasn’t a hint of him questioning my judgement. He’d adapt his team to meet my needs. </p><p>***</p><p>That evening, I took everyone out on the town. I wanted to explore my new city and get to know the people Ahobri had hired. </p><p>It felt good to be part of a large group again. We were all dressed up. </p><p>In Ekene’s case, he was dressed down, opting for shades of black, brown, and burgundy. Ahobri wore a tiny black dress to match him. Troye was showing off in a sparkling mesh gown that hugged his chest and narrow hips. </p><p>I wore something provocative. I had on my tightest black pants, with leather boots that came up to my knees. My shirt was a flimsy silk thing that draped low in front, halfway down my chest, and had a couple of strings crisscrossed to leave most of my back exposed. I wore a lot of jewelry and dusted my eyelids with shimmering silver powder. </p><p>We started at one of the local bars. It was a haunt for the Onyx Syndicate, one of the more prominent gangs in the ‘System. They had ties to the Hutts. </p><p>Ahobri toured me through the room, stopping to introduce me to Qui Lohgun, a large, impeccably dressed Quarren. We exchanged some opening banter before returning to the bar with my friends. </p><p>We did several rounds of shots before travelling to another bar for cocktails and games. </p><p>I talked Ekene into playing darts. </p><p>Thess got comfortable at the gambling tables. </p><p>Troye started a teams game of Carom, splitting us up into four groups. </p><p>By this time, we were starting to get good and drunk. We made the decision to go to a club for dancing and rounded up our crew. </p><p>We went to a place nearby, drawing eyes as our loud group travelled the handful of blocks. </p><p>Once we were inside the club, the drugs came out. I was doing little hits of Euphoria in our booth. We had a hostess bringing us bottles and shots. </p><p>Thess had never tried Euphoria before. She sniffed her little dose of orange powder and I could see her pupils widening in her pale eyes. Within minutes, all of her nervousness and self-consciousness had vanished. She was taking Troye’s hand to go dance. </p><p>The rest of us followed. </p><p>I danced with everyone, getting to know my new crew, but I already knew who was going to be sharing my bed tonight. </p><p>Me, Ahobri, Ekene, and Troye became a smooth little foursome, trading each other for songs, kissing in between. I had a feeling that Ekene and Troye would hit it off. </p><p>I quickly discovered that that ship had already sailed. Apparently Ekene had met Troye when Ahobri was clearing out the apartment on Artrix. The three of them had already spent several nights together. So I was the one joining their party. </p><p>We danced through the peak of the evening with the crowd surging around us. The music was engulfing, pressing against the walls. </p><p>It felt so good to let go. </p><p>After hours of dancing, our group began getting ready to leave, tracking down the individuals until we were nine again. </p><p>We hailed two covered speeders for our large group. </p><p>Troye was in Ekene’s lap the whole ride back to the house, laughing and singing drunkenly. </p><p>We stumbled our way to the lounge, deciding to open several more bottles as a nightcap. </p><p>Ido and Gela were doing a striptease in the center of the room. </p><p>Troye was making out with Ahobri. </p><p>Thess sat on the sidelines, wide-eyed. She wasn’t the kind of person to participate in this kind of stuff. She had already seen plenty working with me the past cycle. She always left around this time of night, and this was no exception. </p><p>Eventually more people began splitting off from the group, either to sleep or to fuck. </p><p>I brought Ahobri, Ekene, and Troye back to my rooms. </p><p>***</p><p>The following days were absorbed by taking care of the house and establishing our presence in the city. </p><p>Ahobri was quickly making the place a home. </p><p>There were many shipments of furniture - beds for all the rooms, sofas, chairs, dressers. People were arriving to paint and make additions. </p><p>I stayed out of the way. Ahbori was the one in charge, giving all the directions. Her and Ekene had a clear vision for how they wanted this place to look. I was just along for the ride. </p><p>I continued my work. Private comms were installed in my office. I had a desk and chairs - a workspace that wasn’t my cockpit. </p><p>There was a lot to do - we were rounding the corner to the next cycle, and people were expecting their payments. I began making calls to let everyone know that our business would be conducted from my house. </p><p>Boz assigned Joll and his woman, Tiali, to be his liaisons. </p><p>Sul was much friendlier; he would be coming out at the start of the new cycle with his entourage. We’d need to stock up on food and liquor for his people. </p><p>I was more strategic with the Smuggler’s Alliance. I didn’t want Tynne or Matthias here. They were looking for trouble, and they’d find something if I let them sniff around my house. </p><p>Verza and Arjun were the first ones I called. We had a good relationship, and I didn’t mind hosting them or any of their crew for a couple of nights. </p><p>Verza was the most enthusiastic. I scheduled him to come in after Sul’s visit. Arjun was interested, but he didn’t know when he’d be able to make it out. </p><p>In the evenings, me and Ahobri started making ourselves known around town. We visited the bars, restaurants, and nightclubs, always with members of our crew and our bodyguards. Ekene and Troye never missed a night out. We had our bodyguards, large handsome men in tight pants and jackets. We threw around just enough money to draw attention to ourselves. </p><p>We began receiving invitations to the VIP lounges and backrooms. We began making friends. </p><p>We were staying out until dawn, every day. Ahobri and I were inseparable, Ekene and Troye joined us most nights. </p><p>I got used to waking up in a pile of three other people, sweaty and hungover. </p><p>Thess came out a lot of the time, but I could tell she was distracted, waiting for Yuri to arrive. It had been almost a week. They were talking at least once a day over a secure comms line. </p><p>I chatted with Yuri a couple of times. </p><p>I needed to make sure he wasn’t going to do or say anything that gave away my real affiliations when he came to visit. I explained the situation to him. Ahobri knew almost everything, the rest of my crew just thought I was a go-between for a company or politician. </p><p>Thess, Yuri, and I cooked up a backstory together. Yuri could keep his first name, going by the surname Olstra. He would pretend that he was a low-level gun for hire, operating in the Mulgard Sector. Him and Thess met on Artrix, during one of my jobs with the Uhdeas. He had a civilian ship lined up, and planned to be here in a couple of days. </p><p>In the middle of all this activity, Thess offered to start working on another tattoo. </p><p>“It takes my mind off the waiting,” she admitted. </p><p>My habit of meditation and practice had disappeared after I arrived at the house. I was going out every night, waking up around noon. While I was traveling with Thess, I had developed a good rhythm for meditation and training. All my willpower was gone now that I was back to partying every day. </p><p>Getting tattooed gave me the perfect opportunity for meditation. </p><p>Thess put in a few hours each day.</p><p>We would start in the early afternoon, after I had pulled myself out of bed, had a meal and something for my hangover. Ahobri and Ekene were usually busy working on the house. Almost everyone else would still be sleeping. </p><p>I lay on my back in my bedroom, breathing through the pain, dropping into meditation. </p><p>Thess decided to expand the work she had done on my arm, moving onto my chest. She started working on an intricate pattern of arrows, dashes, and zig-zagging lines that stretched from shoulder to shoulder, stopping at the tops of my breasts. </p><p>I kept myself open to every miserable sensation, as Thess worked the needles into my flesh. She only paused to wipe away the blood and ink with rough, impersonal motions with the cloth in her hand. </p><p>I had been avoiding the return to meditation. </p><p>It was so much easier to fall into Ahobri’s arms. It was so much easier to go out drinking and dancing, to fill my bed with friends. </p><p>I didn’t want to think about Ymir. </p><p>As I opened myself to the Darkside, the feeling of imbalance was even stronger than before. The dark was rising. I could feel the well of power beneath me. </p><p>No matter how much I gave it. It would never be enough. </p><p>But if I gave myself over to the Darkside, all that power could flow through me. </p><p>
  <b>IV</b>
</p><p>Yuri arrived at my house eight days after our battle against Kaige Evet. </p><p>That morning, Thess buzzed me on my console, making sure that I’d be up to greet him. </p><p>I woke up bleary-eyed, suspecting that I was still drunk from the night before. </p><p>I requested food and a hangover cure, then shuffled into the shower. Ahobri joined me. </p><p>Ekene climbed in as we stepped out. </p><p>Troye was still in bed, slack-jawed, splayed out on his belly. </p><p>I ate a few bites while I dressed. I pulled on a loose sleeveless shirt that left my stomach bare, along with leggings and sandals. </p><p>Ahobri threw on a simple linen dress. She wore a beautiful robe, with a swirling pattern of red, purple, and blue, the sleeves lined with orange tassels. </p><p>Ekene put in the most effort. He had really warmed up to the relaxed atmosphere of the house. He was spending a lot of time shirtless and barefoot, draped in whatever clothes were lying around. </p><p>Now he was freshly shaved, and dressed in a fine set of navy blue robes, a layer of gray around the collar. It looked like he didn’t want Yuri to see just how relaxed he had become. </p><p>Thess had also dressed up. She wore tight pants and her shirt had a deeper v-neck. Most surprising was that she was wearing make-up. There was a touch of pink on her lips and liner around her eyes. </p><p>“You look lovely,” I said, giving her a hug and kissing her cheek. </p><p>“Thank you,” she replied self-consciously, tugging on the hem of her jacket sleeve. </p><p>It turned out that Yuri had decided to surprise me with a gift. </p><p>As soon as the hangar doors opened, I was greeted by a familiar smuggling ship with a bad red paint job. </p><p>“Rosie!” I shouted, my hands going to my mouth in surprise. </p><p>“No one’s gotten rid of that ship yet?” Ekene teased, putting a hand on my shoulder. </p><p>As Yuri brought Rosie down in the hangar, I was grinning just as widely as Thess. </p><p>She immediately ran over as Yuri walked down Rosie’s rickety side ramp. </p><p>They hugged and kissed in greeting. Yuri spun Thess around in a circle, easily lifting the girl off her feet. </p><p>Thess took Yuri’s hand, guiding him to our group, both of them blushing and grinning. </p><p>Yuri had dressed up for the occasion. He was in a pair of tan utility pants with a black shirt and brown jacket. He had taken a style cue from Ymir, and had a rich crimson half-cloak around his shoulders. It was a handsome look with the stubble on his face, his closely-cropped hair was just beginning to grow out. </p><p>Ekene stepped forward, giving Yuri a warm hug, “It’s good to see you here. I was glad when I heard you were becoming friends with Siobhan.”</p><p>“It’s good to see you too, Ekene. It’s been too long,” Yuri said, patting Ekene’s muscular upper arm.  </p><p>“I thought I had seen Rosie for the last time,” I said with a wide smile and a wink. </p><p>“Someone wanted to make sure she made her way back to you. There was some conversation about hangar space and appearances,” Yuri replied, patting my back as we hugged. “I like the new tattoo,” he added, glancing at Thess. </p><p>She smiled, a dimple appearing in her cheek. </p><p>I turned to Ahobri, “Yuri, this is my better-half, Ahobri. She’s been my right hand on my recent assignments.”</p><p>“I’m glad to finally meet you,” Ahobri said, shaking Yuri’s hand, “Siobhan and Thess have said the nicest things about you.”</p><p>Yuri was blushing again, a ruddy color rising in his face. He looked down at Thess. “You didn’t tell me you were talking behind my back,” he teased. </p><p>She grinned, rising up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. </p><p>“Let’s get you inside. We’ll have a drink first,” I said, steering our group towards the elevator, “Are you hungry?”</p><p>“Always,” Yuri replied, “I figured there’d be some food on your ship, but all I could find was beer.”</p><p>“That sounds about right,” Ahobri replied, giving me a look. </p><p>I took Yuri up to my rooms. I wanted him to meet the whole crew, but he wouldn’t be able to talk about anything that he had been doing. </p><p>I requested breakfast and drinks on the console. Thess and Yuri made themselves comfortable on one end of the sofa, Ekene took a chair, already knowing that I’d want the seat next to Ahobri. </p><p>“I think Troye’s still asleep,” I said, moving to the bedroom. “I’ll wake him up. Carry on without me.”</p><p>Troye was very much asleep, sprawled out in the blankets. </p><p>I turned off the dimmer setting on my windows - harsh midday light flooded into the room. </p><p>“Noooo… go away,” Troye complained, burying his face into a pillow. </p><p>I crawled into bed, pushing his sweaty hair back from his face and kissing his cheek, “Hey sweetie. You gotta get up.”</p><p>“I’m keeping your bed nice and warm for you…” Troye said, keeping his eyes closed. </p><p>“No dice. I need you out, but you can meet Thess’ boyfriend on the way.”</p><p>“He’s here?” Troye asked, perking up at the news. </p><p>“Just arrived. We’re all catching up right now.”</p><p>With much groaning and fanfare, Troye got out of bed. He pulled on one of my robes, gathering up half of his discarded outfit from the night before. All of his make-up was still on his face, smeared and smudged from the night before. </p><p>We entered the sitting room together. </p><p>“Yuri, I’d like you to meet Troye,” I said, with a mischievous smile. </p><p>Troye made a dramatic look, glancing between Thess and Yuri, “Girl, you didn’t tell me you had a man!” he exclaimed, putting the emphasis on the word ‘man.’ He leaned forward to shake Yuri’s hand, “Pleasure to meet you. I’m Troye.”</p><p>“I’ve heard about you,” Yuri said, tamping down his amusement. </p><p>“Don’t believe a word Thess says,” Troye replied with a prissy look, batting his eyes. </p><p>Service droids were coming up to serve us breakfast. </p><p>“Alright Troye, that’s it for now. We’ll come on down to the lounge in a little bit,” I said, urging him out the door. </p><p>The service droids set up our breakfast on the low table in front of the sofa. I joined Ahobri, placing an arm around her shoulders. </p><p>I felt bad kicking Troye out like that. It left Ekene as a fifth wheel in our little group of couples. But Troye didn’t know anything about my work with the First Order or as a Sith. I wanted Yuri to be able to speak freely. </p><p>“So how are things in Nijune?” Ekene asked. </p><p>“More complicated than we expected,” Yuri replied with a grimace, “A group of guerillas has formed across the ‘System. They’re putting up a real fight. As soon as we squash one group, another rises up.”</p><p>I bristled internally when I heard him say guerillas. They were just people, trying to resist another warlord taking over their planet. </p><p>Yuri turned to me, “Kylo is in Nijune right now, that’s how I got Rosie. He wanted to get her off The Finalizer.”</p><p>I laughed, at the idea of Ren asking Yuri to take Rosie off his ship. </p><p>“No shit,” I replied, surprised to hear he was that close, “I thought Adram and Ghent were going to step in.”</p><p>“He volunteered, I think he’s getting really bored spending time out on… the Base,” he said, catching himself before he mentioned Starkiller Base by name. </p><p>The less we talked about it the better. </p><p>“How is he these days?” Ekene asked, genuinely curious. </p><p>“He’s good,” Yuri replied, “About the same as always.”</p><p>Yuri gave me a look, “He misses you. He was asking about the battle, how you were doing.”</p><p>I shrugged and grimaced. I hadn’t said one word to Ren since I left The Finalizer. </p><p>We moved on to easier topics, catching up as we ate and drank. </p><p>After finishing the food and a couple bottles of wine, Thess led Yuri back to her rooms. </p><p>The plan was for everyone to go out on the town that night. </p><p>Ahobri and Ekene continued to work on the house, talking through art and decorations, making calls to contractors. </p><p>I set up in the lounge, playing cards and casually drinking with Ido, Gela, and Troye.  </p><p>***</p><p>As the both of the suns set, Ahobri and I met in my room to get ready for the night. </p><p>I had spent the past hour getting ready with Ahobri. I was in a slinky emerald green dress and silver jewelry. Ahobri had gotten herself done up in a tiny black dress that barely covered her ass. In contrast it had a high collar, long sleeves, and a diamond-shaped cutout. </p><p>“So I want to see if I have this all straight,” Ahobri said as she leaned over the counter, doing her make-up, “Yuri is one of the Knights of Ren.”</p><p>“That’s right,” I answered. I had finished and was lounging in a chair, drinking wine while Ahobri worked. “He’s the only one of them that I like.”</p><p>“Is he a Sith then?” </p><p>I shook my head, “He’s not. He’s like Ekene. There’s some connection to the Force, but it’s not very strong.”</p><p>“So he just gets paid to fly around and be an enforcer?”</p><p>I laughed at her bluntness, “I mean, the First Order would never describe it that way, but yeah, that’s what the job is.”</p><p>“Ekene told me he knows Yuri. Him and Kylo Ren trained with Lord Ymir on Kotrea,” Ahobri turned around, “Ekene said that Yuri used to be a Jedi.”</p><p>I grimaced, setting down my wine, “I wouldn’t bring that up with him-”</p><p>“Of course not,” Ahobri quickly said, “But I’ve been paying more attention. I’ve always heard that Kylo Ren and his followers murdered the other kids that Luke was training…”</p><p>I gave Ahobri a look, “That’s right,” I repeated, “Yuri’s talked to me about it, but as far as I know he hasn’t told Thess yet.”</p><p>Ahobri gave me a wide-eyed look, her mouth starting to open, “Gods… shit… he just really doesn’t seem like… I just can’t see it.”</p><p>I shrugged, looking to the side. I had told Ahobri about Otomok. She knew that I had killed civilians, innocent people. </p><p>“Thess is head over heels for him,” Ahobri said, not pushing the subject, “Are we going to have a visit from ‘Kay’ soon?”</p><p>I scowled. When I had brought Ren to The Outpost, he was going by Kayden, “I hope not. He was a real dick to me the last time we were together.”</p><p>“It sounds like he might still be in love with you…” Ahobri teased, her eyes twinkling. She dramatically smacked her lips as she finished with her lipstick. </p><p>“That’s his problem,” I grumbled. </p><p>***</p><p>Thess and Yuri were already in the lounge when we came down. They were seated at the bar, cocktails in hand, talking with Ekene and Troye. </p><p>Troye was in a fucking mood tonight. </p><p>He had set himself up in Ekene’s lap. I noticed Ekene’s hand on his hip, wide and possessive.</p><p>Troye had a full face of makeup, his eyes and lips painted black and dusted with glitter. His outfit was just as noticable. The top was all black satin straps, disappearing into the corset around his waist. Underneath was a long black skirt and very tall, sharp heels. </p><p>Troye was right in the middle of telling a story at full volume, gesturing with his bare arms when we came in. </p><p>“Siobhan! I was just talking about you,” he announced. </p><p>I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face, “What’s he making up about me this time?”</p><p>Everyone in the room was listening to him go. Varik, Gela, and Ido were on the bench in the sunken part of the lounge. They had a drama up on the holoprojector, but it was muted. Jhora and Quann had been playing a card game, but their hands were down on the table. </p><p>Yuri answered with a sly gleam in his eye, “Troye is regaling us with the story of how you resurfaced after being away for a year. I feel like I’ve met Kay, that was your pilot?”</p><p>Both him and Ekene were giving me looks. They knew Troye was describing Kylo Ren.</p><p>“Oh yeah, you’ve definitely met before,” I said with aloof breeziness, motioning for the service droid behind the bar to make Ahobri and me cocktails. </p><p>I drank and listened to Troye’s version of the night I took Ren to The Outpost. </p><p>Eventually the conversation moved on. </p><p>We had a few drinks at the house, giving Yuri time to meet my crew. We spent another half hour trying to decide what bar we would start at. </p><p>After we called the shuttle, Troye and Varik began cutting out lines of Blue on one of the tables. </p><p>Tonight was already a lost cause. </p><p>Thess and Ahobri were next to me, our thighs touching as we leaned over the neat rows of blue powder. </p><p>“That’s a stim?” Yuri asked, deciding if he was going to join us, “It won’t make me see funny colors and stuff?”</p><p>“This just stim,” Thess said, passing him the little metal straw she had just used. </p><p>“I have other things,” Troye volunteered. </p><p>“Save it for later,” Gela said, waving a hand at Troye, “I don’t need to be completely twisted for the first bar we go to.”</p><p>We did a final shot together before we entered the shuttle. </p><p>At our first bar we did more shots, one after the other, before breaking off to play bar games. </p><p>I got roped into a pairs game of Carom, trying to sink a small disc into our opponent’s end of the table. The problem was that Ahobri and I were paired up against Thess and Yuri. </p><p>They kicked our asses, not sparing us any of their trash talk. </p><p>We drank more afterwards, then Troye was pulling us out to another bar. </p><p>This one had his favorite thing, private booths for singing along to pop songs. A hostess brought us bottles and trays of shots. </p><p>Troye belted out a few numbers before Ido took the microphone from him. She had a fantastic singing voice, crooning her way through songs better than the original performers. Ido chose Ahobri to go next. </p><p>What Ahobri lacked in singing ability, she made up for in enthusiasm, shaking her ass and shimmying her way through a couple of songs while we all laughed and clapped. </p><p>Yuri had a beer in his hand and a grin on his face. He looked genuinely happy and carefree, his large arm around Thess’s shoulders. </p><p>Ahobri pulled Ekene up on the tiny stage and he blew us away with a cool baritone and smooth confidence. Troye was swooning and fanning himself on the bench. </p><p>Then it was my turn. I wasn’t a good singer, but I liked a crowd and I liked to dance. I picked a tune that everyone knew. I got the room to sing along with me, while I did a provocative dance, winding up splayed out across Ahobri’s lap while I held the microphone overhead. </p><p>I was definitely drunk. </p><p>Now that we were all warmed up, it was time to find a club. </p><p>Troye took a small vial of Euphoria from somewhere in his corset. All of us had at least one bump, and Yuri joined in. </p><p>Thess was massaging his head while Troye and Varik debated which club they wanted to go to. </p><p>We did a final round of shots then called a shuttle to Rain, on the other side of town. </p><p>By the time I was in the shuttle, the night was slipping away from me. I was in Ahobri’s lap, laughing about something with Ido. </p><p>Troye was straddling Ekene, grinding against him as they kissed. </p><p>Yuri and Thess were much more contained. Thess was gentle, her head resting against his well-muscled shoulder, running her fingertips across his forearm. </p><p>We arrived at Rain. It was a large glamorous club in the wealthiest part of town. </p><p>I held it together long enough to get our group past the queue. We piled inside, pressed close together. </p><p>The music was bouncing. Lights were flashing. Ahobri got us a booth and bottle service. </p><p>Troye was sharing more hits of Euphoria. </p><p>I took Ahobri’s hand and lost myself on the dance floor. </p><p>Thess and Yuri joined us. </p><p>Yuri had a blissed out, peaceful expression on his face. I watched the way he reached an arm overhead, tracking the blitz of lights over the dancefloor. </p><p>Later that night we took a breather together in the booth. Yuri was staring out over the sea of people, radiant as they moved. </p><p>I felt him <i>reach</i> for me, and I gave him a small taste of my aura. Just enough to feel me. </p><p>“You have the most beautiful friends…” he said. His voice was soft, barely audible in the joyous chaos. </p><p>“I’m glad you’re with us, Yuri,” I said, interlacing his fingers with mine. I gave his hand a comforting squeeze. </p><p>He sighed and slumped back against the booth. </p><p>Jhora and Quann came in, pouring drinks, giddy and sweating. </p><p>We all did another shot. </p><p>Yuri leaned my way, resting his weight against me, his face close to my ear, “Tomorrow, we need to talk about serious things.” He laughed, “I’m totally fucked right now. I want to tell you everything, but I don’t think I should…”</p><p>I ran a hand along the back of his head, loving how the soft fuzz felt beneath my fingertips, tracing my hand in patterns that made Yuri sigh and lean against me. </p><p>“You’ll know what you want to say tomorrow,” I told him, from the wisdom of someone who had done a lot of Euphoria, “Let’s go find Thess.”</p><p>I took his hand and we weaved through the dance floor, picking up scattered members of our group along the way. </p><p>I had more to drink. Troye cut lines of Blue out in our booth. </p><p>I didn’t even remember leaving the club. </p><p>Suddenly I was in the shuttle, dancing with Quann and Varik. We kissed and gyrated, putting on a show for everyone else. </p><p>Troye pulled me over onto him and Ekene, running his thumb down my bottom lip before kissing me, using his teeth. </p><p>Ahobri, Ekene, and Troye pulled me back to my rooms. </p><p>There was an intensity to our sex that hadn’t been there our previous nights. </p><p>Troye had been teasing Ekene all night and Ekene was done playing games. He had Troye pinned down, bent over my mattress. He roughly pushed Troye’s skirt up over his ass, and was smacking him. Hard. </p><p>I was wet listening to Troye’s cries of pain and mock protest. </p><p>Ekene saw the look in my eye, “Siobhan, get me a belt. And lube.”</p><p>Ahobri was on the bed kissing Troye, trailing her fingers down the side of his face as he sighed and panted. </p><p>I retrieved a leather belt from my closet, and dug around in my nightstand for the bottle of lube Ekene had brought in several nights earlier. </p><p>I brought both objects to Ekene, desire tightening my low belly. He took the belt from me, and set the lube on the ground at the foot of the bed. </p><p>“Do you want this, too?” he asked, running the leather across the flat of his palm. </p><p>I nodded. It had been ages. </p><p>“Take the dress off and bend over, then.”</p><p>Ekene was rough with us. He brought the leather belt down across both of our asses, striping our thighs. </p><p>I could feel Ekene’s desire rising as we cried out, bent over and open for him. </p><p>“Gods, I want to fuck all of you at once,” he sighed, running greedy hands along our backs. He dipped his fingers into me. </p><p>Ahobri had been watching. Now she knelt on the floor, unbuttoning Ekene’s pants, rubbing his hard cock with her hands before running her tongue along his length. </p><p>Ekene fucked me first while Ahobri worked on Troye. I heard Troye moaning and mewling as she slowly fingered him. </p><p>Ekene was on top of me, his hand planted on my low back. He grunted as he bottomed out, stretching me with his large cock. I gasped beneath him, feeling my muscles clenching around his length. </p><p>Then he was withdrawing, leaving me empty, and I made a long moan. </p><p>Ekene gave my ass a few loving pats. He had his eyes on Troye. </p><p>Ahobri left to wash her hands. I sprawled out on the bed, sinking into the pillows. </p><p>Ekene was slow with Troye. He had his large hands on Troye’s hips, and he carefully pressed inside, moaning and murmuring as Troye squeezed his cock. </p><p>“Please… please… Ekene… fuck me,” Troye begged, rocking his hips back, his hands gripping the sheets. </p><p>When Ahobri returned to the bed, she was out of all of her clothes and jewelry. She lay on her belly, her head between my legs. I sighed and closed my eyes, running my hands along Ahobri’s headtails. </p><p>Ekene took his time, while Troye shivered and begged for more. It was several minutes until he sank his full length into Troye. Then the two men began to fuck in earnest. </p><p>After a few minutes, Ekene moved onto the bed, with Troye on hands and knees. </p><p>Our bodies tangled, combining and recombining as night bled into dawn. </p><p>The stims and Euphoria had wreaked havoc on us. After we had fucked in every imaginable way, we collapsed together. </p><p>I slipped into a restless space between sleep and waking. </p><p>***</p><p>After a couple hours of half-dreaming, I got up and hosed myself off in the shower, turning the water up as hot as I could stand it. </p><p>The fresh tattoo on my chest was sensitive and tender. </p><p>I climbed out of the shower with my skin tinged pink. </p><p>Ekene, Ahobri, and Troye were all dead asleep. </p><p>The room felt hot and stale. </p><p>I pulled on a loose shirt and a pair of leggings, and shuffled down to the lounge. </p><p>The house felt quiet and empty. No one else was awake.</p><p>I requested a hangover cure, breakfast, and a stiff drink from a service droid. Then I plopped myself down on the bench and started up the holoprojector. </p><p>One of Gela’s holodramas came up, and I watched with unfocused eyes. </p><p>Everything in my body hurt. There was a pounding coming from inside my skull. I felt like a ghost, several steps removed from myself. </p><p>I was smoking the waterpipe when Yuri came in. </p><p>He looked just as rough as me, with dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. </p><p>“C’mon over, I can get you something to help with that.” I snapped my fingers for the service droid. </p><p>Yuri grimaced as he sank down on the bench next to me. </p><p>The droid came over with a green pill and a healthy pour of whiskey. </p><p>“I don’t know exactly what I expected from last night, but I never imagined anything like that,” he groaned, taking the pill and downing the whiskey in one gulp. </p><p>I turned down the sound from the holoprojector. </p><p>“Did you have fun?” I asked with a ragged grin. </p><p>“I’m set for the next five years,” he replied. </p><p>“How’s Thess doing?” I asked. </p><p>“She’s out cold,” Yuri replied, “I couldn’t sleep.”</p><p>“Me neither, the stims got me.”</p><p>Yuri leaned back against the bench, arms outstretched. </p><p>Silence settled between us. It was peaceful. </p><p>“So, you and Ekene...” Yuri said, raising an eyebrow, “I’m really curious, but I also kind of don’t want to know.”</p><p>I laughed, “We’re just having fun. It doesn’t mean anything.”</p><p>“I know that him… and…”</p><p>Yuri didn’t want to say Ymir’s name. I gave him a nod to say I knew what he was talking about. </p><p>“I know they had their own arrangement,” Yuri continued, “But I’ve never seen that side of him before.”</p><p>“Troye knows how to bring out the best in people,” I replied. </p><p>“Thess warned me that you had interesting friends,” Yuri said with a teasing grin. </p><p>I paused, “Do you remember telling me you wanted to talk?”</p><p>Yuri’s expression became more serious, “Yeah, I meant it.”</p><p>“Let’s do that now, while everyone else is passed out.”</p><p>“Lead the way,” Yuri said. </p><p>I grabbed a bottle of whiskey and two glasses from the bar. We returned to the top floor. </p><p>We went into one of the unused bedrooms, and dragged a couple chairs out onto the terrace balcony. </p><p>The suns were blazing away in the sky, the city was moving in its daytime rhythms. I squinted and blinked in the light. </p><p>Yuri poured our drinks and we touched glasses. </p><p>“So, what’s on your mind?” I asked. </p><p>“I have to warm up first,” Yuri said with a sad tired expression. He paused, “Kylo told me about his trip to Artrix. Troye’s version was very different.”</p><p>“What’s Ren’s version?” I asked, pouring us another drink. </p><p>“Well, his version makes it sound like you were trying to kill him. Which, after last night, I defnitely believe.”</p><p>“I showed him a good time. He doesn’t adjust to new things easily,” I replied. </p><p>Yuri grinned, “In his version, you dragged him to every end of the city, then pulled him through the back door of a brothel. He told me he was surrounded by women and drugs, then you kept taking him to different places, and he didn’t know if he was out on the town or still at the brothel. He couldn’t tell what was going on the whole night, and you’re just out there dancing in a crowd of people, not a care in the world.”</p><p>I was laughing, doubled over, “We took him out to a club and he refused to dance. My friend, Jenna, was with him, and she thought he’d come around.”</p><p>“I mean, I usually don’t dance either,” Yuri said, “I probably looked like a real asshole last night.”</p><p>“No,” I said, gentle and kind, “It was fun dancing with you.”</p><p>Our amusement faded and there was another stretch of silence. We sat in our chairs, watching air traffic flow by. </p><p>I felt Yuri’s emotions begin to shift. He grew more serious, staring out into the city. </p><p>“I need to tell Thess about what happened at the Academy,” Yuri said, drawing his hands towards his lap, “I know I need to tell her, but I don’t know how to.”</p><p>“She really doesn’t know?” I asked. </p><p>Ahobri had put the information together. </p><p>Yuri shook his head, “She grew up all the way out on Fedje. Her family… they have their own kind of history. She doesn’t know anything about the war with the Empire, the Rebellion, almost nothing.”</p><p>To Thess The First Order had just seemed like an opportunity to fly. A chance to make money she could send back to her mother. </p><p>“Fuck,” I commiserated. </p><p>“I need your help Siobhan,” Yuri said, starting to tear up, “I don’t… she shouldn’t find out through someone else, but I don’t know how to tell her.”</p><p>I felt my own tears pushing at my eyelids, but I held them back. Instead, I reached out a hand to Yuri’s arm. “You don’t have to tell her everything,” I began. </p><p>Yuri gave me an offended look. </p><p>“Hold on, let me finish,” I continued, “Telling her what happened doesn’t mean getting into the details.”</p><p>“I don’t even know what to tell her,” Yuri admitted, “I start making up these conversations in my head where I’m telling her about Luke, what he did to me, Adram, and Kylo. Then it sounds like I’m making excuses…”</p><p>“The conversation is going to be awful,” I said, “She’s probably going to feel hurt. I don’t think there’s a way to avoid it.”</p><p>Yuri was leaning forward with a serious frown. He was worried that she would leave him. He didn’t have to say the words.</p><p>“I have your back,” I told him, “If you want to talk to her while you’re here, let me know. She can talk to me and Ahobri.”</p><p>Yuri looked my way, “Thank you, Siobhan,” he said, “You’ve been a real friend.” He sniffed, wiping at his nose with his jacket sleeve. </p><p>“Don’t get all mushy on me,” I replied with a grin, “I’m about to ask you for something.”</p><p>“What’s that?” Yuri asked with a lopsided smile. </p><p>“Ymir knows that you’re visiting me here. I don’t want you to talk about Thess or Ahobri with him.”</p><p>“He didn’t ask me to watch you-”</p><p>“He doesn’t have to,” I interrupted, growing more serious, “I’ve been stepping out on my own, and I’m worried that he might threaten Thess or Ahobri if I make a move he doesn’t like.”</p><p>Yuri didn’t respond immediately. He rested his elbows on his thighs, returning his gaze to the city. </p><p>He was silent for a long time, and I gave him the space to think. </p><p>“I trust Lord Ymir,” he finally said, “He could have shunned me when he saw I would never be a Sith. He’s always been fair with me.”</p><p>Yuri took a breath. “But I understand what you mean. I’ll keep them out of it as much as possible, but I’m not going to lie to Lord Ymir,” he paused again, “Does Lord Ymir know Ekene is staying with you?”</p><p>“Ekene and Ahobri were the ones who arranged this house. I told Ymir about it when we were on The Finalizer.”</p><p>“He has a soft spot for you,” Yuri said, looking my way. </p><p>I scowled and spat, “Do you know how I got the scar over my eye?”</p><p>“Yes, and I’ve seen the scar you gave him,” Yuri replied. “Look, I don’t pretend to understand the relationship you have, but I know he cares about you. It was all over his face after the battle.”</p><p>I was going to make a sarcastic response and Yuri knew it. </p><p>He stood up, clapping his hands against his thighs, not giving me the opportunity, “I’ll let you know before I talk with Thess. I’m going to go check on her. Thanks for talking.”</p><p>And I was left alone, sitting on my balcony, thinking about Ymir. </p><p>***</p><p>The following two days were peaceful. We went out in the evenings, but our group was smaller and we made better decisions. </p><p>Yuri was still working up the courage to talk to Thess about the Academy. He wanted a few days just to be together. </p><p>Thess continued to work on the tattoo across my chest. She’d be done with the design soon. </p><p>I told Yuri that I used the time for meditation and he sat in with me. </p><p>There was a beautiful kind of intimacy to the experience. </p><p>I was left raw and open from the pain, guiding Yuri along that connection point into the Darkside, into the place where we could feel it. </p><p>Thess got to see another side of Yuri, his relationship with the Force. </p><p>“What’s it like?” she asked, after we finished a session. </p><p>She was cleaning the needle-end of the instrument, packing up the ink block and metal rod. </p><p>Yuri was the first to speak, “It’s hard to explain, if you haven’t felt it…” he began, “It’s like the universe is full of these currents of energy, like the wind or ocean…”</p><p>Yuri looked to me for help. </p><p>I was seated, my arms around my knees, “Yeah…” I agreed, “And when I meditate, I can see how all the energy connects. I can reach out and touch it, shape it if I want to.”</p><p>“How does tattoo help?” Thess asked. </p><p>Yuri started to talk, then faltered. </p><p>“Being open to pain helps me to be open to the Darkside,” I said, “It feeds off of that energy.”</p><p>Thess gave me a funny look, “You feel different when I tattoo you. Different from other people.”</p><p>I gave her a self-deprecating smile, “I’m just reaching into the void.”</p><p>In that way, we passed a couple of lazy days. Yuri didn’t have much longer to stay with us. He’d be leaving to join General Pryde as we shored up our borders with the New Republic. </p><p>We had a few conversations about work. I was spending an hour each day reaching out to my criminal contacts, letting them know about the house, scheduling times when people would be visiting for a sit-down for us to exchange money and information. </p><p>After Yuri left, it would be non-stop diplomacy for a few weeks.</p><p>Ahobri and Ekene were working to have the house set up and stocked with food and liquor. Ahobri was making the final decisions on staff. We’d have servants and staff along with our droids. </p><p>I made sure to enjoy this time with everyone together. </p><p>
  <b>V</b>
</p><p>I was pulled from sleep as the console next to my bed began buzzing. Then I heard the pounding of a fist against my bedroom door. </p><p>“What the fuck…” I murmured, looking around the dark room.</p><p> Ekene, Ahobri, and Troye were all in bed with me. </p><p>My mouth tasted like sour wine. </p><p>I heard metallic clunking sound outside my door. Something was wrong with the security droid. </p><p>I decided that was the most important thing, and left the console flashing and buzzing. </p><p>I stepped outside to find Yuri wrestling with my security droid. </p><p>“You are not an authorized guest,” the droid was saying. </p><p>“What the fuck…?” I said, my expression twisting with surprise. I was standing naked in my doorway. “Stand down!” I ordered the droid. </p><p>The droid let go of Yuri and returned to its post next to my door, standing at ease. </p><p>Yuri was panting, only dressed in his underwear, “Siobhan, it’s really serious. You need to call Lord Ymir right now.”</p><p>It was strange seeing Yuri almost naked, but his expression left no room for disbelief. His expression was deadly serious. </p><p>“What’s going on?” I asked. Adrenaline began flooding through my body. </p><p>Yuri, grabbed my upper arm, leading me into my rooms. “You’ve been outed. Lord Ymir’s been trying to get a hold of you.”</p><p>“What?!”</p><p>I understood Yuri’s words, but they didn’t make any sense. </p><p>He was in my sitting room, pulling up my holoprojector. </p><p>I stood around naked, staring dumbly at Yuri as he worked. “What do you mean I’ve been outed?”</p><p>“Matthias Krull sent a comms blast through the Mid-Rim a few hours ago. It’s been picked up in the Outer Rim and the Core Worlds,” Yuri said, “They know you’re a Sith. They know you’re working with the First Order.”</p><p>Fuck. </p><p>Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. </p><p>Goosebumps rose along my skin as Yuri turned the holoprojector on. </p><p>“Get some clothes on,” Yuri told me, noticing that I was in shock. “You probably want to get Ahobri and Ekene up.”</p><p>I bolted into my bedroom, shaking Ahobri and Ekene awake. Troye was complaining. </p><p>It was still dark outside. I had no idea what hour it was. </p><p>“What’s happening?” Ekene asked, rubbing at his eyes, scratching his chest. </p><p>“Put some clothes on, we have to make a call,” I said, urgently. </p><p>“What’s the matter?” Troye asked. </p><p>My head was starting to swirl. I didn’t want Troye to know I was calling the head of the First Order in my sitting room. </p><p>“Go back to sleep. I just need Ekene and Ahobri,” I told him. </p><p>Ahobri had heard my tone. She was grabbing clothes from the floor. </p><p>I found a shirt and my underwear. </p><p>Ekene pulled on a robe. </p><p>That was the best I could do in the moment. I thought about doing a line of Blue to jolt me awake, but ignored the urge. </p><p>When we got to the sitting room, Yuri had the lights on. Ymir’s handsome face was in a large holoscreen. </p><p>Ekene immediately looked self-conscious, pulling his robe around himself. </p><p>Ymir didn’t react to us composing ourselves in this awful hour of the morning. “Siobhan, do you know what’s going on?”</p><p>“Not really,” I said, taking a seat next to Yuri. </p><p>“Matthias Krull has announced your identity as a Sith to almost the entire Galaxy. He’s challenging you to a fight.”</p><p>My mind was blank for a moment, resisting the information. “When did this happen?” I finally asked. </p><p>“About four hours ago,” Ymir said. </p><p>I turned to Ahobri, standing off to the side with Ekene, “I need you to grab my tablet, please.”</p><p>She hustled off to my bedroom. </p><p>Ekene took a seat, mostly out of view of the camera. </p><p>“We need to respond quickly,” Ymir said, “But we have to be strategic.”</p><p>My mind was flooded with a million worries. Everything I had accomplished was built on secrecy and lies. If Matthias had outed me, all my work would be undone. Many of my friends would suddenly be enemies. </p><p>Ahobri was at my side, handing me my tablet. </p><p>One thing at a time. </p><p>“I want to hear the transmission,” I said, taking a steadying breath. </p><p>I needed to understand what was happening before I reacted. </p><p>Ymir waited while I pulled up the comms link on my tablet. </p><p>Yuri, Ekene, and Ahobri sat tensely. We had no idea what we were about to hear. </p><p>The transmission was flooding all the regular channels. There was a videofeed. </p><p>Matthias’ handsome face pulled up on the screen. He had a blue cloak around his shoulders and a Resistance banner was hung on the wall behind him. </p><p>“This is Matthias Krull, leader of the Smuggler’s Alliance,” he announced, with firm determination in his voice, “We have discovered that the First Order has infiltrated the underground using Siobhan Zhang, also going by the name Mara.” He paused for effect, “We’ve all heard the rumors that there is a second Sith operating in the Galaxy. Siobhan Zhang is Lord Ymir’s acolyte, a turncoat of the worst kind. She defected from the Resistance, and has turned many of us into unwitting pawns of the First Order...”</p><p>Aw, fuck. This was as bad as it could possibly get. Matthias knew how to make a scene. </p><p>“...We fell for her lies, as I’m aware many others have done. This message is a call to arms. I’m at my base on Carlac with all the best men and women in the Smuggler’s Alliance, and I’m joined by the brave men and women of the Resistance...”</p><p>Even better. </p><p>Matthias was all attitude and bravado, </p><p>“...The Smugglers’ Alliance will never be a shill for the First Order. Siobhan Zhang, I look forward to personally fighting you.”</p><p>“Well, this is exciting,” I growled, with fire in my eyes. </p><p>I was opening my heart to the Darkside, pushing through the cloud of doubt and fear that threatened to settle over my mind. </p><p>“We need to plan your response to him-” Ymir began, but I cut him off. </p><p>“I’m not going to respond to this,” I said, “Matthias is a showman. He’s doing all these theatrics because I successfully tricked him and the Smuggler’s Alliance. This is all to win back his reputation. We should just show up and blow them out of the sky.”</p><p>Yuri was giving me an incredulous look. </p><p>“Matthias is a hothead,” I said, making my case, “He’s expecting me to give a response. We’ll be able to maintain surprise if we ignore his message and just move against him.”</p><p>Ymir was skeptical, but he was thinking through the problem. </p><p>“Siobhan is right,” Ahobri said, moving into view. </p><p>“And who are you?” Ymir asked, sharply. I wasn’t used to seeing Ymir under stress. </p><p>I felt Ahobri’s fear, but she continued, putting up a cool facade, “Lord Ymir, I’m Ahobri Verbek. I helped Siobhan negotiate the deal with the Smuggler’s Alliance. Matthias will have a clever response to whatever we have to say. It’s better to move into action.”</p><p>Fuck. All of my careful plotting to keep Ahobri and Ymir separated was undone. I took a hold of her hand. Worry was spiking in my chest, but at the same time I was impressed by her bravery. </p><p>Ymir was silent for a moment, considering Ahobri’s input, “I don’t want to have a public sparring match over comms. You truly feel that’s how he’ll respond?”</p><p>I nodded, “Matthias is like me. He loves to talk and he loves attention. Anything we say he’ll find a way to turn it against us.”</p><p>“I’ve contacted Kylo Ren. I’m going to include him on this line so we can make a battle plan.”</p><p>The holoscreen went dark for a minute. </p><p>Ren must still be in the Nijune sector. That put him only two or three hours away from Carlac, same as us.</p><p>Ekene leaned over to me, “I’ll get Troye out of here, then I’m going to meet with Marle and tell him about this situation.”</p><p>He headed into the bedroom. </p><p>My thoughts were rushing. There were a million fires to put out. <br/>I needed to handle the immediate problem of Matthias and the Smuggler’s Alliance. Then there would be the fallout with the Hutts and all the other groups I had gone into business with. On top of all of that, everyone in my house was about to discover that I was an agent of the First Order, a Sith. Then there was the matter of all the local gangs and criminals that I had been making friends with on Taris.</p><p>Was someone going to try to attack my house? Would Ahobri be safe if I left?</p><p>The feed came back up split-screen, with Ymir on one side and Kylo Ren, masked and hooded, on the other. </p><p>“So it looks like you need my help to clean up your mess,” Ren said, his voice gravelly through the audiofeed of his mask. </p><p>“Kylo Ren…” Ymir cautioned. </p><p>At that moment, Ekene was leading Troye out of my bedroom. </p><p>“What the fuck…?” Troye breathed as he recognized the men on my holoscreen. </p><p>“Not now,” Ekene replied, hurrying him out of my rooms. </p><p>We were all completely off guard. Yuri was sitting in his boxers. Ahobri and I were just in our robes, traces of make-up still around our eyes. </p><p>“The sooner we move against Matthias, the better,” I said, refocusing the conversation. </p><p>“What do we anticipate in terms of Resistance support?” Ymir asked. </p><p>“I really don’t know,” I replied, “It sounds like he brought this information to the Resistance a little while ago. They’ve had time to coordinate.”</p><p>Ren chimed in, “I’ll start having my officers pull data from our probes and see if we have any current information from Carlac.” </p><p>“Good plan,” Ymir responded. He looked to me, “What should we expect from the Smuggler’s Alliance? What’s their fleet size? Firepower?”</p><p>“They’re smugglers, not combat pilots,” I said, “Maybe six thousand light ships total, if they’re bringing everyone in their fleet.” </p><p>I frowned, trying to imagine what the Smuggler’s Alliance would look like mobilized for a battle, “I mean, they aren’t an elite fighting force. Their ships have weapons and all that, but they aren’t fighters.”</p><p>I was thinking about Verza and Arjun. We had just talked, barely a week ago. I hadn’t gotten the sense that anything was wrong. </p><p>“We should send an alert to General Tay,” Ymir told Ren.  </p><p>The General was stationed on his Dreadnaught somewhere in the Mid-Rim. </p><p>“We need to move fast and hammer them hard,” I said, “Bring in as much firepower as we can.”</p><p>“Do you expect any of your other organizations to join the fight?” Ymir asked me, “I see the potential for a ripple effect through the Underground.”</p><p>Gods, I hoped that wouldn’t be the case. </p><p>“I don’t know,” I replied, hating that I didn’t have an answer, “I wouldn’t expect the Hutts to start a war, but Kanjiklub, Guarian Death Gang... I dunno, they might try something.”</p><p>I just hoped they wouldn’t try something here. </p><p>“I won’t be able to join you for this battle,” Ymir said, “I’m going to need to be available in the Core Worlds to handle the diplomatic fallout. This message is being amplified exponentially across the Galaxy. Within a few hours, everyone is going to know what’s going on.”</p><p>There was a buzzing on my tablet. </p><p>“It’s Verza,” Ahobri said. </p><p>“I’m getting a call from one of the leaders of the Smuggler’s Alliance. I’m going to take this,” I said, grabbing the tablet from Ahobri and moving to my bedroom. </p><p>I couldn’t risk Verza seeing that I was in the middle of a conversation with Ymir and Kylo Ren. I hit the button to answer his call. </p><p>“Verza, what the fuck is going on?” I demanded. </p><p>The Neimoidian looked just as frantic and disheveled as I felt. “Siobhan,” he pleaded, “I had nothing to do with this. I just found out about it.”</p><p>This could be an act. I extended my awareness, <i>reaching</i> for him, searching for lies. </p><p>“How is that possible?” I spat. </p><p>“Matthias moved behind our backs, me and Arjun,” Verza said, sweaty and nervous, “He just called to ask if we would join him...”</p><p>He wasn’t lying. The Neimoidian was telling the truth. </p><p>“...Siobhan, I told him no. I’m not going up against the First Order,” Verza continued, “I don’t know what to do…”</p><p>“Do you know what Arjun decided?” I asked, wanting to get as much information as possible. </p><p>“He just called me. He isn’t joining them, either,” Verza said, “It’s Matthias, Tynne, and Eldo. They’re the masterminds.”</p><p>Verza was trying to save his own skin. </p><p>“Many of my men have defected,” he continued, pleading with me, “They’re headed to Carlac. Siobhan, please. I don’t want the First Order coming after us.”</p><p>I drew myself up, projecting as much confidence as I could, “You should find a place to hide, either in your territory or the Outer Rim. Have Arjun call me. I’ll make sure the First Order leaves you both alone, if you truly aren’t taking Matthias’ side.”</p><p>“Of course. Yes. I’ll have Arjun call you. Thank you, Siobhan.”</p><p>I closed the line. </p><p>I took the time to pull on actual clothes - an undershirt and leggings felt better than making battle plans in a robe. I twisted my hair into a messy braid. </p><p>When I returned to the sitting room, I found Thess sitting on the sofa next to Ahobri. Yuri was standing up, fastening his pants. He had a shirt on now. </p><p>“Verza’s just as surprised as we are. He told me that him and Arjun were completely left out of the plans,” I said, stepping into view of the camera, “Apparently, Matthias just called both of them to see if they’d join, but they said no.”</p><p>“And you know that Verza wasn’t lying?” Ymir said. </p><p>“I reached for him. He was telling the truth,” I said, “I told him to have Arjun call me.”</p><p>I passed my tablet to Ahobri, “Could you please monitor my comms?”</p><p>“It sounds like we’re going straight to war,” Ren said, a note of excitement surviving the audiofeed of his mask, “Am I meeting you on Taris?”</p><p>“Oh, fuck no,” I said, “I’m not getting picked up in a First Order ship.”</p><p>“Siobhan…” Ymir warned, lips tightly pressed together. </p><p>“That would just verify the rumors. I’ll come out and meet you in Nijune. I’m going to need a couple hours here to work out a plan with my security team, and figure out how we want to respond to my contacts. I’ll call The Finalizer before hyperspace.”</p><p>“We’ll analyze the probe data and see if we need General Tay and his Dreadnaught,” Ren replied. </p><p>“Siobhan, I want you to stay in communication with me,” Ymir said, “I’m going to call the Superior General. We might just need to keep this line open as we make our plans.”</p><p>“Sounds good. I want to be starting this fight as soon as possible,” I said. </p><p>Ren closed his line, and Ymir’s screen went black as well. </p><p>I turned to Yuri, Thess, and Ahobri, “Let’s get ready for war.”</p><p>***</p><p>I could not be more grateful to have a team behind me. Everything needed to be happening at once, and I had a group of people to help. </p><p>Ekene, now dressed in a fine set of dark robes, came up with Marle. Thess and Yuri left to pack and get Sawai ready. </p><p>Marle was all business, completely unflappable, “We shut down the comms for the house. No one can send any transmissions in or out. You’ll only be receiving communication on your direct lines,” Marle began, a tablet resting easily on his knee, “Do we expect anyone in the house to respond poorly to this news?”</p><p>“I don’t think so,” I replied, “I expect some people might be upset or hurt, but I wouldn’t expect anyone to do anything.” I looked over to Ahobri. </p><p>“I’d be shocked if someone did more than talk, and I’ll get in front of that,” she said. </p><p>“Do we expect retaliation from anyone in the city?” Marle continued. </p><p>“I really don’t know,” I said, “Ahobri?”</p><p>“I don’t see Onyx Syndicate moving against us,” Ahobri said, “I mean, the good in this is that people know the First Order is behind us. That should keep most people away.”</p><p>Ekene nodded, “Any act against us will be an act against the First Order.”</p><p>“We’ve set up a defensive perimeter on the ground, and a patrol in the air around the building,” Marle said, “All plain-clothes and undercover agents.”</p><p>“If anything starts to happen, I want Ahobri taken away, immediately,” I said, taking Ahobri’s hand. </p><p>“I’ll be here,” Ekene said, “I’m not going to let anything happen.”</p><p>Marle left to brief the security team. </p><p>Ahobri, Ekene, and I started to work out what our message would be to our house, and to any of my contacts that tried to reach me. </p><p>Outside, dawn was just breaking on Taris. </p><p>It was hard to decide what I wanted my message to be for the people in my house. They were going to feel betrayed. A few might want to leave. </p><p>We decided to take a line that skirted the truth. Ahobri and Ekene would say that one of my jobs had gone sideways. The Smuggler’s Alliance was retaliating against me, I was travelling to handle the problem, and when I came back I’d personally talk with the crew. </p><p>If someone managed to hear the transmission, Ahobri and Ekene would talk with them privately and say that it would be addressed by me. </p><p>During this conversation, Arjun called. </p><p>He looked haggard and upset, “Siobhan, what the fuck have you done?” </p><p>“That doesn’t matter right now,” I said, coldly, “Are you standing with Matthias?”</p><p>“No, but I’ve lost more than half my crew!” Arjun said, still angry, “Verza said you told us to hide. Can you offer us some protection?”</p><p>“Will you swear loyalty to me?” I asked, the question coming on suddenly. </p><p>Arjun was shocked. He gawped at me, his long snout open, revealing rows of sharp teeth. He didn’t give an answer. </p><p>“Then go hide,” I told him, “I’m going to handle this situation, and I’ll offer what I can for you and Verza, but you can’t demand protection without loyalty.”</p><p>Arjun closed the line. </p><p>I now had a better idea of how many people would be fighting on Matthias’ side. Probably closer to five thousand, instead of the six thousand that I estimated earlier. </p><p>I returned to the sitting room, “Arjun and Verza are both hiding with skeleton crews. It sounds like most of their men left to join Matthias on Carlac.”</p><p>“Should we contact the Hutts ourselves, get ahead of this problem?” Ahobri asked, taking the tablet back from me. </p><p>It was still early. I expected people to start calling us within the next few hours - that would be right as I was leaving. </p><p>“What would you tell them?” I asked. </p><p>Ekene was silent in a chair, hands clasped in front of him, elbows on his thighs. He had never been involved in something quite like this before. When he was the head of Donnal Extraction, he had layers of management to handle these crises. He was never embedded in the action. </p><p>“I would have a conversation and see what they had to say,” Ahobri replied, “You had meetings scheduled with all of them.”</p><p>“Yeah… for next fucking week,” I replied. I couldn’t stop my smile, bringing a hand to my forehead. “Tell them I still want to meet. We can have a fucking sit-down about it.”</p><p>“I’ll quote you,” Ahobri said with a tender smile, reaching out to touch my knee. </p><p>This message put us in a bind. We were caught in a lie in the most public way. </p><p>I was hours from directly engaging Matthias in combat. </p><p>It would send everyone a clear message: If you fuck with me, you fuck with the First Order, and you’ll be destroyed. </p><p>I was willing to keep playing nice with whoever still wanted to keep their deal going. </p><p>The Hutts would understand, but it wouldn’t work on every group. </p><p>“Ekene, help Ahobri. We should stay in contact with Ymir if any of our contacts start acting aggressive,” I said, “Ahobri, if they go on the attack, don’t respond. Just tell them that you’ll pass their message on to me.”</p><p>Thess appeared in the doorway. “Sawai’s ready,” she announced, “When do we leave?”</p><p>
  <b>VI</b>
</p><p>I hated leaving Ahobri and Ekene at the house alone, but I didn’t have a choice. </p><p>We had three hours in hyperspace to meet Ren in Nijune, then another three hours in hyperspace before Carlac. </p><p>I was feeling jittery, my mind still churning over possibilities. </p><p>If something happened to Ahobri, I would never forgive myself. </p><p>“Let’s train,” Yuri suggested, with a friendly pat on my upper arm. </p><p>I was happy for the distraction. Thess sat on the floor in Sawai’s gym as Yuri and I sparred. </p><p>Rather than use the metal staves and blunted weapons, I passed Yuri one of my lightsabers. </p><p>I was determined to keep my focus. </p><p>Neither one of us was trying to defeat the other. Our movement was meditation. It was about settling our thoughts, syncing our minds and our bodies. </p><p>I was off Taris. I had to trust that Ekene and Marle would protect Ahobri. </p><p>There was nothing I could do to change the reactions my contacts would have to Matthias’ announcement. </p><p>As we sparred, determination began to replace the fear in my heart. </p><p>All this time I had been living under the threat of being discovered. </p><p>I had been hiding my identity, hiding my true strength. </p><p>Now I was free of that burden. Matthias thought that he was putting me on the defensive, but now I could show everyone just how powerful I was. </p><p>***</p><p>We arrived on The Finalizer to the usual formal welcome party. </p><p>Hux looked less peaky than usual. He was rising to the occasion, happy to have an opportunity to go from one battleground to another.</p><p>I had put on my formal robes. I had my lightsabers on my belt, and I suddenly realized that I wouldn’t need to hide them ever again. </p><p>Yuri was in his Knight’s robes, his face covered in a mask. Thess was between us, the only one who still looked like a civilian. </p><p>“I heard that Matthias Krull has quite the reputation as a blowhard,” Hux said, as we rode the elevator up to the bridge, “I’m sure he won’t feel so confident once he’s facing the might of the First Order.”</p><p>Hux was obnoxious, but he wasn’t wrong. That was exactly what I wanted to see. </p><p>“Do we have any information about the Resistance forces joining him?” I asked. </p><p>“It looks like Commander Holdo and her forces from Randa base are working with the Smuggler’s Alliance”</p><p>“Holdo?!” I exclaimed. </p><p>“Yes?” Hux replied primly. </p><p>The elevator doors opened to the bridge. </p><p>“Do you know her?” he asked. </p><p>“She was my Commander after basic. She knew my father when he was in the Rebellion,” I replied, a sick kind of joy bubbling in my chest. </p><p>I quickened my pace to the briefing room.</p><p>This was personal. </p><p>I couldn’t fucking wait. </p><p>The Finalizer entered hyperspace before our briefing started. </p><p>I took center stage with Ren as we put together a strategy in front of the officers. </p><p>Carlac was a gas giant in neutral territory. There were other, much smaller, bands of smugglers that hid there regularly, but whether they joined the fight or not they wouldn’t make much of a difference. </p><p>I shared the information about Holdo during the briefing. She had a stake in this fight. She wanted to see me lose. </p><p>I was reminded of my very first time in this room, when I gave up my old Resistance base on Jaemus. There were probably officers in the room thinking the same thing, knowing that I had originally been brought aboard this ship as a Rebel prisoner of war. </p><p>The fight against the Smuggler’s Alliance posed some interesting challenges. We were expecting to face several Resistance warships along with the larger Smuggler’s Alliance cruisers. </p><p>There might be as many as ten thousand fighters, but the Smuggler’s Alliance weren’t a military force. They mostly had civilian ships. They weren’t experienced in combat at this scale. They didn’t even know how to fly in formation. What they had in numbers, they lacked in cohesiveness and training.</p><p>All of that could be used to our advantage. </p><p>We also didn’t have to worry about the fight moving to the ground. All the action would be happening in space, above Carlac’s atmosphere. </p><p>I planned to engage with Matthias directly. </p><p>We had the element of surprise. Even if Matthias was watching my house, he wouldn’t be able to track my jump through hyperspace. Maybe someone had noticed that The Finalizer left Nijune, but we’d be arriving in three hours. It didn’t give them the upper hand. </p><p>For a situation like this, our response was pretty damn immediate. </p><p>In the best-case scenario, Matthias was aboard one of the Resistance ships, or better yet, still preparing for battle at his house on Carlac. Wherever he was, Thess would use Sawai to take me to him, and I’d accept his challenge to fight. </p><p>If he had decided to go into combat, alongside his crew, I didn’t know what I’d be doing in the battle. I wasn’t a combat pilot. We weren’t planning on taking prisoners. Our objective was to destroy any Resistance or Smuggler’s Alliance ships. </p><p>If that was the case, I’d be stuck waiting it out on the bridge. </p><p>The thought rankled me. </p><p>When we wrapped up the briefing, Ren and Yuri left to finish flight plans with the Group Commanders. </p><p>I decided to suit up. I would look like an asshole hanging around the bridge in armor if I wasn’t fighting, but I could miss my window of opportunity if I wasn’t ready. </p><p>Thess returned to Sawai to do final checks on my shields and weapons systems. She also made sure that my blasters and grenades were prepared in the cargo bay. She’d stay on the ship, waiting for my command. I promised her that she’d be able to fly out with Yuri and Ren if I wasn’t going to use Sawai in the battle. There was a TIE fighter reserved for her in the hangar. </p><p>I was on the bridge, with fifteen minutes to spare until we left hyperspace. Underneath my layers the fresh tattoo on my chest was stinging. </p><p>I was covered neck to toe in utility clothes and light armor. I was dressed in reinforced fabric in shades of black and charcoal gray. There were armored plates over my shoulders, arms, chest, and back. There was another layer of light armor on my legs. </p><p>I wore my usual pair of boots, since they were completely broken in. My lightsabers were strapped to my waist, along with two blasters, one strapped to each thigh. </p><p>I had left the helmet behind. It was a prideful decision, but I wasn’t going to enter this fight wearing a mask. </p><p>In the middle of all of this, I thought about Euora, Matthias’ second in command. We had talked several weeks ago - Matthias had been avoiding me. I wondered how long he had this planned, if Euora had been probing for information during any of our calls. </p><p>I liked her. I hated that we were enemies now. </p><p>As we prepared to exit hyperspace, I moved over to the command console. There was a tech officer at my side. </p><p>I was going to contact Holdo as soon as we arrived, answering her call to war. I wanted to see if I could discover where Matthias was. </p><p>The Finalizer popped out of hyperspace, immediately deploying her TIE fighters. I spotted Ren’s elite TIE Silencer screaming off towards the collection of Resistance and Smuggling cruisers in front of us. </p><p>Beside me, the tech officer was scanning through the channels, searching for Holdo’s line. </p><p>One of our windows was programmed with a screen to give us a closer view. I surveyed their fleet and recognized her ship, the Ninka - a wicked vessel with plenty of heavy artillery. </p><p>We found her line, and the tech officer patched me through. </p><p>I stepped forward in full view of the camera as Holdo’s face pulled up on the screen. </p><p>She was a beautiful woman who radiated a fierce kind of composure. She didn’t take shit from anyone and was known for her fearlessness in battle. </p><p>“Gods, Holdo, it’s been far too long,” I greeted, casual and nonchalant. I had a hand resting easily on my hip. No one could miss my lightsabers. </p><p>Our conversation was public. I was putting on a show for my crew and hers. </p><p>“You traitorous bitch,” Holdo greeted, a smug smile on her face. </p><p>Ahead of me, I could see the opening shots being exchanged, as our TIE fighters met the Resistance and smuggling crews. </p><p>“I wondered who Matthias was going to bring to this fight,” I continued, “I’m so happy that it’s you.”</p><p>Holdo was sneering, ready to close the line on me. </p><p>“I brought a few of my friends, too,” I continued, “Kylo Ren is leading the attack right now.”</p><p>Anger flashed in Holdo’s eyes. “Your father was a hero,” she said, staring levelly at me, “I’m so glad he didn’t have to see the kind of monster you became.”</p><p>“I was hoping you could help me,” I continued with a sharp smile, not responding to her jab, “Matthias challenged me personally. You don’t happen to know where he is, do you?”</p><p>“Go find him yourself,” Holdo snapped. She turned to address her crew on the bridge, “Well, you heard the traitor, we have the chance to defeat two Sith today. Let’s show the First Order what we’re made of!”</p><p>There were cheers and hollers in response to her speech, then the line went dead. </p><p>Hux was at the command console, staring at me like he had never seen me before. I don’t think he knew anything about my history. He didn’t know that I fought with the Resistance, that my father was the hero pilot, Wei Zhang. </p><p>“Alright, let’s try Matthias’s line,” I said to the tech officer. </p><p>Matthias answered right away. That meant he was still at his house, suspended in the atmosphere of the gas giant below. </p><p>My lucky day. </p><p>“Matthias, I hope you weren’t waiting too long,” I began, with mock sweetness, “I came as soon as I could.”</p><p>“You traitorous cunt,” he growled. </p><p>“Wow, that escalated,” I replied smoothly, “Holdo just called me a bitch, and she knows me much better than you do.”</p><p>The officers on the bridge did not know how to react to my conversation. They weren’t used to trash talk before a battle.</p><p>Matthias gave me an arrogant sneer in response. </p><p>“You said you wanted to fight?” I said, keeping up my sweet, friendly act, “Your ship or mine?”</p><p>Hux was glaring at me now. He wasn’t interested in drawing enemy forces towards The Finalizer. </p><p>Matthias gave me a wicked grin, twisting his handsome features, “There are a few of us here who have a score to settle with you. How about you come on down to my ship?”</p><p>“Sure. I’ll be down as soon as I can,” I replied, “There’s a little traffic between here and there.”</p><p>“We’ll be waiting, Siobhan,” Matthias said, and closed the line. </p><p>There was a grin pulling at my face. </p><p>I was looking forward to this fight. </p><p>“Madam, we’ll alert Commander Cathcart to ready his strike team-” Hux began. </p><p>I cut him off, “I’m going down alone. Keep the strike team on standby to clean up any stragglers.”</p><p>“But... madam…” Hux said, wanting to protest my reckless decision. </p><p>I fixed him with a look and he stopped. </p><p>“Thess will stay in communication with the bridge,” I said, “Contact Yuri and let him know we need a wingman for getting through atmosphere.”</p><p>I left the bridge before Hux could make anymore objections. </p><p>I began descending in the elevator. I already had my handheld comms ready in my shirt pocket. </p><p>“Thess, I hope you have those engines warm. We’re headed down to Matthias’ house, over,” I said. </p><p>“Ready! Over,” Thess replied. </p><p>Moments later I was aboard Sawai, jogging to the cockpit. Thess was already taking us out of the hangar. </p><p>“What’s the plan?” she asked as we launched into open space, headed towards the battle. </p><p>I leaned over the comms and paged Yuri. </p><p>“I’m going to have you drop me off at Matthias’s house. You’ll circle around and come pick me up when I’m done. I’ll call you on my comms,” I said, patting the front pocket of my shirt, underneath my chest armor. </p><p>Thess frowned as she understood what I was saying, “You go in alone?”</p><p>“It’s my fight, and I don’t want the rest of these guys stealing my thunder,” I replied with a wicked grin. </p><p>Yuri’s voice came in over our comms, “Thess, Siobhan, I heard you need support.”</p><p>“That’s right,” I replied, “I’m headed down to Matthias’ house right now. I’m sending you the coordinates.” My fingers ran across the smooth glass console screen. </p><p>Thess tried to keep us out of active combat, but the warzone was chaos. Resistance ships were moving towards The Finalizer. </p><p>Ahead of us, red and blue plasma bolts sparked wildly. </p><p>Yuri formed up on our side. </p><p>“Siobhan, where’s Commander Cathcart’s ship?” he asked. </p><p>“I’m not bringing company,” I replied. </p><p>“You’re going to get yourself killed!” Yuri exclaimed, “Let me go in with you.”</p><p>“No,” I replied firmly, “Stay up here and keep Thess safe.”</p><p>As we neared the atmosphere, ships were rising from the pearly haze. They must be leaving Matthias’ house to join the battle overhead. </p><p>They started firing as soon as they noticed the TIE Silencer behind us. </p><p>Thess was ready, engaging the smuggling ships as they attacked. </p><p>I needed to finish preparing for the battle. </p><p>“I’m going to the cargo bay. Give me a ten second warning,” I said. </p><p>I could feel the movement of the ship as I jogged through the halls. Adrenaline was starting to course through me. </p><p>Blaster fire impacted our shields at close range. I could feel the vibrations. </p><p>I opened myself to the Darkside. </p><p>This was a crazy idea. I wanted to make a name for myself. I wanted people to tell stories about this fight, when I took out Matthias and his crew singlehanded. </p><p>The Darkside responded to my pride and anger, flooding me with a sense of power. </p><p>I released the hold I had on my aura. Ren and Yuri would be able to feel me. </p><p>The ship rocked and swerved as Thess took us down through atmosphere. </p><p>Inside the cargo bay, I slung a bandolier of grenades across my chest. I had a small collection of standard grenades, flash grenades, and thermal detonators. </p><p>“Ten seconds!” Thess announced over the ship’s comms. </p><p>I hit the button to lower the cargo bay ramp. As I approached the lip, I took my blaster in my right hand, my lightsaber hilt in my left. </p><p>The atmosphere was harsh, almost sucking the air from my lungs. I gritted my teeth. </p><p>Below was the landing. I could see blaster fire coming from the entrance to the house, and Thess’ return fire from Sawai. </p><p>I activated my lightsaber and descended the ramp, taking advantage of the cover my ship provided. With my awareness extended, I could feel where people were fanned out. I ran around the port side, where I felt the most combatants. </p><p>I reached my left hand forward, still holding the hilt of my lightsaber, <i>pushing</i> my enemies back, scattering the supply crates they had been using for cover. </p><p>There was a boom from my left. </p><p>Someone farther down the landing had an anti-aircraft cannon and was firing on Thess. Thankfully Sawai had good shields. Thess took my ship up, returning fire at the same time. </p><p>I was left exposed on the landing. People were still scrambling back to their feet. </p><p>I activated my lightsaber. </p><p>“I’m Siobhan Zhang. I’m answering Matthias’ challenge!” I roared. </p><p>There was an explosion from far down the landing as Thess destroyed the anti-aircraft gun.</p><p>Matthias’ people weren’t distracted. They didn’t hesitate to fire on me. </p><p>Green blaster fire zinged past. I used my lightsaber as a shield, deflecting their attacks as I advanced. I returned shots with my blaster. </p><p>In the mayhem, I spotted Tynne, Matthias, and Euora in the small crowd. </p><p>“Siobhan!” Tynne roared angrily, joining the attack. </p><p>I didn’t think. I aimed my gun and landed a shot right between Tynne’s eyes. His face vaporized in a thick cloud of blood and brains. </p><p>People were screaming, still relentlessly firing on me. </p><p>I saw the horror on Matthias’ face as he crouched near the doors of his house, firing from a safe distance. </p><p>A couple of shots grazed me, one on the outside of my arm, the other on my leg. </p><p>I continued to advance, more of Matthias’ crew dropping as my shots landed true. There was now a haze of blaster residue in the air, adding to the smoggy atmosphere. </p><p>“You told me you wanted to fight, Matthias!” I shouted, pushing forward. </p><p>I was holding them off, one person against many . My body was moving naturally, like a dance. My awareness allowed me to know each attack before it happened. I was entirely in the moment. </p><p>“Fall back!” Matthias screamed. The survivors made for the house.</p><p>I felt Matthias’ fear. </p><p>He hadn’t expected this. </p><p>I took advantage of the break in fire, to holster my blaster and unclip one of my flash grenades. I smoothly lobbed it into the entrance, sailing through the open door. </p><p>As I drew my blaster again, I threw up a <i>shield</i> of energy around me and turned my head right before the explosion. </p><p>I was able to absorb some of the force, but I was close enough for my ears to ring and my vision to go dark for a moment. </p><p>Everyone else was dealing with much worse. </p><p>With my awareness extended, I barely missed a beat. </p><p>It was chaos in the hallway. Matthias’ crew was scattered and dazed. </p><p>I advanced, firing on them with my blaster. My lightsaber at the ready to deflect any attacks. </p><p>Euora was crouched just inside the entrance. She spotted the green glow through the smoke and began to fire on me. </p><p>At the same time, someone was coming up from behind me, blinded, with their hands held to their ears. </p><p>I spun around, catching them with my blade. </p><p>The moment I made contact with the body, I realized I had struck Eldo. There was resistance as my sword cut through his torso. I smelled burning fat as he fell. I heard the miserable gurgling cry he made as he died. </p><p>There was no time for me to consider my actions. </p><p>I was advancing on my enemies. </p><p>“Fall back!” Matthias ordered. Euora followed him, squeezing off a few more shots at me as I chased after them. </p><p>“Come fight me you coward!” I yelled. </p><p>I gave myself over to the Force, to the Darkside. </p><p>The fight became a stream of sensation. At once I was completely embedded in the moment, and far away, my intuition and instincts guiding my actions. </p><p>People and droids fired on me. Moment by moment, I kept them at bay. </p><p>Action and reaction, breath and movement, everything blended together as I pushed forward through the oncoming blaster fire. </p><p>Person by person, I cut my enemies down. </p><p>Matthias was always out of reach, always at the back of his group. I could smell his panic, like blood in the water. </p><p>I took a few more glancing hits on my limbs. I could feel the burns along my legs and arms. </p><p>Finally, someone managed to land a good shot, catching me in my left shoulder. I whirled around, shooting them before they could continue. </p><p>We moved through the hallways of Matthias’ house, destroying this beautiful place. </p><p>When a group of ten fresh fighters came barreling down a connecting hallway, Matthias took his opportunity to bolt. </p><p>His people had me surrounded.  </p><p>It gave Matthias, Euora, and the rest of his group time to slip away. </p><p>When all my attackers were lying on the ground, either wounded or dead, I <i>reached</i> through the ship, trying to find out where Matthias had disappeared. </p><p>After so much time fighting, the temporary silence was deafening. Adrenaline was singing through my veins. I could feel my muscles twitching in anticipation. The pain of my wounds started to register in my mind. </p><p>My left shoulder was seriously injured. My skin burned, and my muscles felt less responsive. </p><p>I needed to end this fight soon. </p><p>I felt Matthias’ fear. He had descended through the house, moving towards the hangars. </p><p>The bastard was trying to escape. </p><p>With a wicked grin tearing at my face, I took off at a run through the hallway, dodging stray blaster fire and killing the stragglers who had hidden from the battle. </p><p>I jumped into an elevator, trusting myself to go to the right floor. </p><p>I thumbed the dial on my lightsaber, allowing the quiet to swallow me. </p><p>The moment of normalcy was jarring. </p><p>As the elevator doors opened, I reengaged my lightsaber and took off at a run, <i>feeling</i> for Matthias. </p><p>They had already entered a hangar. I didn’t have much time. I had to stop them before they escaped in a ship.</p><p>I pressed a button on the console and the blast doors began to open. </p><p>In their panic, they must have forgotten to lock it behind them. </p><p>There were four ships in the hangar. One was closing its cargo bay ramp. </p><p>The outer hangar doors were beginning to open, and the ship’s engines were warming up. </p><p>I scanned the room and fired on the console array at the back. </p><p>The hangar doors shuddered to a halt, not even a meter open. Soft white sunlight filtered through. </p><p>I returned to the console on the wall to lock the blast doors from the inside. No one would be able to join this fight. </p><p>Matthias was locked in. </p><p>Instinctively I turned towards the ship. The pilot had engaged her turrets, swinging the blaster cannons towards me. I dove to the right.</p><p>They got off four wide shots where I had just been standing, hitting the wall of the hangar. Sparks rained down on me and smoke filled the air. </p><p>I stuck my blaster in its holster on my thigh and extended my right hand towards the ship, channeling my energy. </p><p>With a fierce cry of effort, I <i>pushed</i> the ship over onto its side. </p><p>It toppled, its wing breaking under the weight. I kept <i>pushing</i>. It skittered into the far wall, crashing into two other ships as it slid across the floor, creating a broken tangle of machinery. </p><p>The engines were still on, whirring uselessly, scorching the metal wall. </p><p>The ship could explode any second. I began to advance. </p><p>Thankfully, someone inside the ship managed to turn the engines off. There was a grinding, screeching sound as the cargo bay ramp opened a couple of meters and stopped. </p><p>“Come out and fight me Matthias!” I bellowed. </p><p>My left arm was screaming at me. I dragged the tip of my lightsaber against the ground, enjoying the feel of my blade gouging the floors. I smelled smoke and searing metal.</p><p>My shoulder wasn’t going to last much longer. My limbs felt heavy. Pain began radiating through my body, cutting through the battle frenzy. </p><p>I had to end this soon. </p><p>Euora was the first person out of the wrecked ship. She stumbled forward, crouching in the debris. </p><p>“Is he still alive?” I shouted. </p><p>Euora scrambled behind a chunk of broken wing, firing a warning shot, “He’s alive!” she called. </p><p>“Then why isn’t he out here!” I demanded. </p><p>I saw and heard more people stumbling out. I felt their pain, fear, and exhaustion. </p><p>“I didn’t come all the way down here to fight his second in command!” I continued. </p><p>A volley of blaster fire came from the wreckage. </p><p>The shots were bad. Everyone was tired and battered. I had them pinned against the wall. There was nowhere else for them to go. </p><p>“Too bad! I want to tell people I killed a Sith!” Euora shouted, rising just above the debris to get off her shot. </p><p>I deflected it back at her with my lightsaber - it glanced off her shoulder. Euora went down with a cry of pain, smoke rising from the wound. </p><p>I hoped I hadn’t killed her. </p><p>The other fighters were rallied by her bravery and began to fire with renewed energy. There were only three of them. Matthias wasn’t in their group. He was still hiding. </p><p>They all fell under my attack. </p><p>The hangar was full of smoke, and I advanced through it, my green lightsaber blazing in my hand. </p><p>I felt Matthias getting himself into position. He fired a shot at me, so inaccurate that I didn’t even have to react. </p><p>“Fight me, you bastard!” I bellowed, closing the distance between us. </p><p>I <i>cleared</i> the wall of debris away with a sweeping motion of my arm. Matthias let out a cry and staggered backwards.</p><p>The man was terrified. His mind lost to him as he tried to scramble away, like a cornered animal. </p><p>He managed to get off a couple more panicked shots before I ran him through with my lightsaber. </p><p>I was heaving for breath, standing over him, watching as the fearful light faded from his eyes. I heard his last gasp for air before he went still. </p><p>I hated the burning meat smell. </p><p>I thumbed the dial on my lightsaber, clipped it to my belt, and took the cylindrical comms link from my shirt pocket. </p><p>“It’s done,” I said to Thess, “I’m in hangar…” I scanned the walls to find out what hangar I was in. “I’m in hangar eight. Call me when you’re here, and I’ll open the doors, over.”</p><p>“Be there soon! Over,” Thess replied, thrilled to know I was still alive.  </p><p>I dropped the comms back into my pocket and went to Euora’s side. </p><p>She was still breathing - a small moan of pain escaping with each exhale. She was in really bad shape, suffering from the wound I just inflicted, as well was whatever happened when I pushed the ship over. </p><p>I leaned over her, grabbing her blaster and tossing it away, just in case she got any ideas.</p><p>“Your boss is dead,” I said, “Need a job?”</p><p>“Fuck you!” Euora snarled, trying to push herself up, still trying to fight. </p><p>“My ride’s coming,” I told her, “We have a really good med bay. You should come with me.”</p><p>Euora spat. Flecks of her spit and blood showered the side of my face. </p><p>I wiped my hand down my cheek, staying calm. “I have a lot of respect for you,” I said, “I’ll never ask you to fight my battles for me.”</p><p>Euora fixed me with an angry look, her black eyes sparkling with anger. </p><p>I noticed sunlight flickering across the hangar floors, and heard the sound of engines on the other side of the hangar door. </p><p>“I’m here! Over,” Thess’ voice crackled from the comms link inside my pocket. </p><p>I stood and left Euora. I <i>pulled</i> at the hangar doors, using my last reserves of strength to open them. </p><p>Thess brought Sawai inside, smoke clearing in her wake. </p><p>Thess left the engines idling and opened the side ramp. I stiffly made my way towards the ship. She met me at the bottom of the ramp, doing a visual triage on me. </p><p>“You were hit,” she said. </p><p>Now that the battle was over, the world was feeling very surreal and far away. </p><p>“I know,” I told her, leaning on the railing of the side ramp, “What’s it like out there?”</p><p>“Fight topside going good,” Thess said, “Let’s go to the med bay.” She offered me her arm to help me up the ramp. </p><p>I shook my head, responsibilities were flooding back to me. “I need to get a message out. Can you grab a holoprojector?”</p><p>Thess hesitated, but I gave her a serious look. She bolted back inside the ship. </p><p>I returned to Euora’s side. She had propped herself up on an elbow, sweating and groaning through the pain. </p><p>“Look, my pilot’s coming down,” I said, crouching next to her, “You can let us help you into our med bay, or you can stay here and die. It’s whatever you want,” I said. </p><p>This time Euora didn’t fight back. She looked at me, her dark eyes clouded with pain. I met her gaze patiently, giving her the time to make her own decision. </p><p>Thess approached tentatively, the holoprojector in hand. </p><p>She looked at Euora. “Need help?” she asked in her soft burbling voice. </p><p>Euora closed her eyes and nodded, her lips grimly pressed together. </p><p>Thess and I helped Euora to her feet. She cried out as her right arm was jostled. I guessed that it had been broken when I pushed the ship over. </p><p>When she was upright, I patted her down for any other weapons she could use against us. There was just a knife in her boot. I tossed it.</p><p>“Thess is going to get you set up in the med bay,” I told Euora. “I’ll be back in a second,” I told Thess. </p><p>The two of them began to hobble towards Sawai.</p><p>I went over to Matthias’ body. I was going to make my official response to Matthias’ challenge. I was going to announce myself as a Sith. </p><p>This time, it would be on my terms. </p><p>I activated the holoprojector and began to record a video. </p><p>“This is Siobhan Zhang, transmitting from Matthias’ home on Carlac,” I began. I was fighting to keep my voice clear and easy, hiding the pain and effort it took to talk, “I have answered his challenge. Matthias Krull, Eldo Cyn, and Tynne Precore are all dead.”</p><p>My worlds were direct. I moved the camera along Matthias’ crumpled form. A faint whisper of smoke was still rising from the hole I had burned in his chest. </p><p>I returned the camera to my face, “The Smuggler’s Alliance is now dissolved. Anyone else who has a dispute can take it up with me.”</p><p>I saved the recording. </p><p>It would have to be enough. </p><p>I needed to send this transmission out over Matthias’ comms. It would have the biggest impact that way. </p><p>I looked at the burned remains of the command console in the hangar. </p><p> </p><p>Slowly, I stood and made my way out of the hangar, the holoprojector in one hand and my blaster in the other. </p><p>“Where you going?” I heard Thess ask, her voice rising through the comms link in my pocket. </p><p>I was too tired to explain myself. </p><p>I carefully moved down the hallway, entering the next hangar over. </p><p>My strength was quickly leaving me. It was all I could do to stay upright. </p><p>I entered the next hangar, locked the doors behind me, and shuffled to the central console. </p><p>I booted up the comms and began selecting channels, as many as possible. I uploaded the message from the projector. It was going to be blasted through the underground. </p><p>When I was done, I stiffly returned to hangar eight. Thess was outside Sawai, and she rushed over to help me aboard. </p><p>I accepted her help, throwing my right arm over her shoulder, gratefully leaning against her. “You left Euora unattended on my ship?” I grumbled. </p><p>My left shoulder was on fire, muscles spasming in pain. </p><p>“Locked in med bay,” Thess said, “You guard her while I fly,” she teased, glad to see I was well enough to give her a hard time. </p><p>“I need to contact Ymir,” I groaned as we slowly walked up the side ramp. </p><p>He needed to hear this story first. He needed to hear it from me. </p><p>Thess dumped me in the copilot’s seat and called Yuri, “Going back to Finalizer now,” she said. </p><p>“How’s Siobhan?” he asked. I could hear the concern in his voice.</p><p>“Not good, but alive,” Thess answered, taking us out of the hangar. </p><p>“I’m fresh as spring rain,” I countered, with an audible grimace. </p><p>“You crazy bitch,” Yuri said with relief, “I’m glad you’re alive. Let’s get you back in one piece.”</p><p>We were rising through the swirling gaseous atmosphere. </p><p>I leaned over the console to contact Ymir, trusting Thess to pilot us safely. </p><p>Ymir’s face pulled up immediately. He looked at me carefully, his gaze missing nothing. </p><p>“I just killed Matthias and his crew,” I said, “Did you see the transmission I sent out?”</p><p>“Not yet,” Ymir answered, “Vice Admiral Hux told me you went down alone.”</p><p>“I did. We’re headed up to The Finalizer right now.”</p><p>I wasn’t going to say anything about Euora. If they discovered her, she would be a prisoner of war. </p><p>“Are you injured?” Ymir asked, clearly reading the pain in my face.</p><p>“I still got all my arms and legs,” I answered. </p><p>I realized that my aura wasn’t cloaked, and I began to draw it back towards myself, before Ymir noticed. </p><p>“Get medical attention. We’ll debrief later,” Ymir said, “You did well, Siobhan.”</p><p>I closed the line.</p><p>***</p><p>I couldn’t remember the whole ride back to The Finalizer. I was drifting in and out of consciousness. </p><p>“Siobhan! Stay awake,” Thess ordered, when she realized that I was fading out. “C’mon, stay here,” she urged. </p><p>I groaned and rolled my head, my eyelids fluttering open. </p><p>My left shoulder was wet with blood. </p><p>I looked out the cockpit windows and realized we were landing in one of the hangars on The Finalizer.</p><p>“I’m going to the med bay,” I told Thess, “We can’t let anyone else find out about Euora.”</p><p>Thess helped me through the halls. </p><p>When we entered, Euora was lying on the stainless steel table, wheezing wetly. </p><p>“Thess, turn on the medic droid,” I said, slumping into an extra chair. </p><p>Thess hurriedly ran to the droid, flipping a couple of switches. </p><p>The droid booted up and went through its programmed patter. </p><p>“Euora,” I said, projecting my voice, “How are you doing?”</p><p>“Not good,” she said through a clenched jaw, “Where are we?”</p><p>“We’re on The Finalizer.”</p><p>“You fucking bitch, you tricked me!” she snarled, trying to sit up.</p><p>The medic droid wheeled to her side at the table. “Madam, you must lay down so I can properly assess your injuries,” it said, completely oblivious to our conversation. </p><p>“Nothing is going to happen to you,” I promised, “No one will find out you’re here.”</p><p>“You brought me to Kylo Ren’s ship!” she spat, as the droid began making its assessment. </p><p>I didn’t want to be here, either. </p><p>“Just lay down for a second,” I said, “Let the droid do its job.”</p><p>I was only going to call up a ship medic if I had to. </p><p>“Can Yuri come on board?” Thess asked, looking at me. </p><p>I sighed, “Sure, fine, but no one else okay?”</p><p>“Understand,” she said, and quickly left the room. </p><p>Euora and I stayed where we were, her on the table and me in a chair, both of us just breathing heavily. The droid examined the blaster shot on her shoulder and her wounded right arm. </p><p>It was applying a bandage to the blaster wound when Thess and Yuri returned. </p><p>Yuri’s mask was under his arm. He was still wearing his black flightsuit. </p><p>“Siobhan!” he exclaimed, rushing to my side. </p><p>“Is it that bad?” I groaned as he cupped my face in his gloved palm. </p><p>The droid began applying a splint to Euora’s arm. </p><p>“Where did they get you?” Yuri asked. </p><p>“Left shoulder,” I groaned. </p><p>Yuri helped me out of my jacket. I winced and hissed in pain as the melted fabric pulled at the wound. </p><p>“You took on a ship filled with enemy combatants, and you only took one direct hit?” he said, awestruck. </p><p>“Must have been my lucky day,” I groaned. </p><p>The droid and Thess were helping Euora off the table. </p><p>It was my turn. </p><p>Yuri was nice with Euora, staying nearby without looming over her. He made small talk, helping to keep her calm. He had a relaxed, soldierly attitude and it worked. Thess brought Euora water.</p><p>The droid had just finished patching my shoulder when the door opened and Ren strode in, his mask over his face and a cloak wrapped around his shoulders. </p><p>He halted as he entered, taking in the situation - the unknown woman in the chair next to the door. </p><p>“Who the fuck is this?” he demanded in his raspy artificial voice. </p><p>Euora bristled. Yuri held out a hand to stop her from rising, getting between the two of them. </p><p>“New member of my team,” I said, pulling my shirt over my head and sliding off the table as the medic droid protested. </p><p>Ren swung his masked face towards me - chrome and metal hiding his expression. </p><p>“No one has seen you since you returned,” he said. </p><p>“I contacted Ymir,” I said striding forward, knowing I couldn’t stay on my feet for long. </p><p>“Did you tell him you brought a prisoner aboard?” Ren said, anger rising. </p><p>“She isn’t a prisoner. She works for me,” I replied, not backing down. </p><p>Ren turned his attention to Yuri. “Why are you here?” he demanded. </p><p>“Leave him out of it!” I said angrily, grabbing Ren’s forearm and dragging him out of the med bay. The doors closed behind us. </p><p>“You can’t just bring enemy soldiers aboard my ship!” Ren growled, pointing a finger at my chest. </p><p>I got up in his face, jaw jutting forward. There was still some fight left in me. </p><p>“She’s not an enemy. She works for me now,” I repeated. </p><p>The doors opened and Yuri joined us in the hallway. </p><p>“You’re both exhausted,” Yuri said, taking charge of the situation, “Ren, let’s go.” </p><p>“I’m having that woman taken to the brig,” Ren said, staring at me through the visor. </p><p>“The fuck you are!” I shouted. </p><p>Yuri turned to me with a pained expression, “Siobhan, please stop. Nothing is going to happen.”<br/>Yuri gave Ren a meaningful stare. </p><p>I was trembling with rage, the last of my power right at the surface. </p><p>Ren could sense it, and so could Yuri. </p><p>“Siobhan, we’re going to go,” Yuri said, peaceful and firm with me. “You both need to cool off.”</p><p>Thess appeared in the doorway to the med bay as Yuri began leading Ren off the ship. </p><p>I stood, staring down the hall until I heard the hydraulics hiss and the side ramp began to close.</p><p>I turned to Thess. “We’re leaving,” I told her. </p><p>“Where?” she asked, a nervous glint in her eye. </p><p>“To my house, right now,” I said, with my jaw tight, arms crossed over my chest. </p><p>“You’re hurt. You’re tired,” Thess said, trying to reason with me. </p><p>“There are medics at my house too,” I said, “We’re only a few hours away.”</p><p>Thess looked at me, gathering her determination. “I don’t want to leave Yuri,” she said. </p><p>“Then you can stay,” I replied without anger, “I’m leaving.”</p><p>She looked up at me and knew I was serious. I wasn’t just talking. </p><p>“Yuri can join us after,” I assured her, </p><p>She nodded. </p><p>I checked the med bay doors to make sure they were locked, then I joined Thess in the cockpit. </p><p>I typed up a quick message to Ymir: [Ren is an asshole. I’m going back to Taris. You can yell at me in five hours when I get there.]</p><p>My next message was to Ahobri: [I won. Don’t watch the transmission I sent. I’ll be back in five hours. Don’t take any calls from Ymir.]</p><p>We didn’t alert the bridge to our departure. People scrambled in the hangar as we began to lift off without warning. </p><p>I was a Sith. No one here was going to try to stop me. </p><p>We sailed out into open space. Thess quickly cooked up the hyperspace coordinates for Taris. I stood up and made my way to the cockpit door, intending to return to the med bay. </p><p>“Thanks for doing this,” I told Thess, “You’re getting a raise. A ship of your own… I dunno, something for all of this.”</p><p>Thess looked my way with concern. I was rambling and exhausted. I slumped back in my seat. </p><p>We launched into hyperspace. </p><p>I wandered down the hall. </p><p>When I entered, the medic droid had Euora on the table again. She was hooked up to a bag of fluids.</p><p>“What’s going on?” she asked. </p><p>“We’re headed to my house, the one I told you about a week ago,” I said, easing down into the chair. </p><p>A wave of exhaustion rolled across my body, traveling from scalp to toes. </p><p>The medic droid wheeled over to me, “Madam, you have suffered injuries. Remain calm, I’m going to prepare fluids for you, as well as a painkiller and a sedative.”</p><p>Music to my fucking ears. </p><p>“Was that Kylo Ren? The one in the mask?” Euora asked, as the droid began to work.</p><p>“The one and only,” I replied, leaning my head back and taking the pills that the droid offered. </p><p>“You didn’t seem too friendly with him,” Euora said. </p><p>“Sometimes we are, sometimes we aren’t,” I replied, wincing as the droid stuck needles into my arm, “We’ll be in hyperspace for five hours. I’m going to lock you in. I hope you understand. Just get some sleep.”</p><p>The droid attached some bags of fluid to a medical stand on wheels, and connected them to the needles in my arm.  </p><p>Thess was just rounding the corner to check on me as I left the med bay, pushing the stand. She helped me to my quarters.</p><p>“I hate to do this to you,” I said, lying down on my bed, “But can you check on her, every hour or so? She was just given a sedative so she shouldn’t be too much trouble.”</p><p>“I’ll do that,” Thess said, tucking a pillow under my head. </p><p>Hyperspace glowed blue through my skylight, and sleep took me.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope y’all had as much fun reading this chapter as I did writing it. There is more excitement to come. </p><p>There’s a part of me that really wants to apologize for how long these chapters have gotten... I think we’ll be back to more normal length chapters in the next few updates *fingers crossed*</p><p>Thanks so much for reading! I’m always interested in hearing your thoughts in the comments.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Aftermath</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Siobhan’s identity has been revealed to the Galaxy. Everyone knows that she is a Sith, an agent of the First Order. </p><p>She killed three of the leaders of the Smuggler's Alliance, now she’s going to face the consequences.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The stay at home orders have really been bringing out my creative side. </p><p>I just did a little cosplay as Lars from Steven Universe. I accidentally gave myself almost the same haircut. I have that up on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/andromeda.rising/"> Instagram</a> :)</p><p>For good cosplay check out<a href="https://www.instagram.com/melameme_cosplays/"> @Melamemecosplays</a> and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/rensempress/">@Rensempress</a>. They’ve both been doing amazing cosplay.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>I</b>
</p><p>I didn’t wake up until Ahobri put her hand over mine. </p><p>“Siobhan?”</p><p>Reluctantly, I opened my eyes, trying to figure out my surroundings. </p><p>Ahobri was sitting next to me in bed. Through the skylight, I could see the metal ceiling of a hangar.</p><p>I had expected to be in my room. I thought it was just another day in my home. </p><p>Reality was slow to come back to me. I didn’t know why I was on Sawai. </p><p>“Siobhan?” Ahobri asked again, more urgent and concerned. </p><p>“What’s going on?” </p><p>“Siobhan, you’re back on Taris,” Ahobri said, “How are you feeling?”</p><p>My body ached - signals of pain were coming from every direction. My brain was all gummed up. </p><p>I put a hand to my head. My left shoulder burned. </p><p>I had started a fight. I had killed Matthias. I had destroyed the Smuggler’s Alliance. </p><p>“Medic droid give her sleeping pills,” Thess said. </p><p>It took effort to focus my eyes. </p><p>There were needles in my arm attached to empty fluid bags. </p><p>My thoughts were foggy, but I fought to bring myself back. </p><p>“Euora is in the med bay,” I said, leaning forward. </p><p>“Thess told us,” Ahobri said, her hand resting gently against my back. “We haven’t seen her yet.”</p><p>“How long have we been here?” I groaned, ripping the tape off and yanking the needles out of my arm. </p><p>“Siobhan!” Ekene cautioned. </p><p>I hadn’t even noticed he was in the room.</p><p>“You just arrived,” Ahobri said, trying to soothe me, “We have a medic with us.”</p><p>That was the right decision. </p><p>“I should go down and tell Euora what’s going on,” I said, trying to push myself out of bed. </p><p>It took more effort than usual. Ahobri helped, joined by Ekene. I leaned on the two of them. Thess was by the door.</p><p>“You’re hurt. You need to rest,” Ahobri said. I heard the concern in her voice. “Euora knows me. I can talk to her.”</p><p>“She’s a security risk,” I warned, “She’s hurt real bad too. She needs a doctor, and someone from our security team keeping an eye on her.”</p><p>“I have blaster. I’ll go with you to talk,” Thess said to Ahobri. </p><p>“Don’t restrain her,” I said, “She’s not a prisoner. She’s just not on our side yet.”</p><p>The four of us slowly shuffled out of the room. </p><p>There was a medic in the hallway - a prim Ishi Tib in a simple green jumpsuit. </p><p>“Madam Zhang, I’m Doctor Bolano. I’ll be attending to you,” she greeted. </p><p>Ahobri and Thess went to check on Euora.</p><p>I was whisked out of Sawai and onto the elevator with Ekene and the doctor. </p><p>As the elevator rose through the house, I thought about my crew, my staff who had been on lockdown since yesterday. What did they know? What had they seen?</p><p>Desperately, I hoped that Ahobri hadn’t watched the transmission I made from Matthias’ ship. I had recorded his corpse with the stab wound I made with my lightsaber. I had answered Matthias’ challenge, and now he was dead. </p><p>Ekene and the medic set me up in my rooms. </p><p>I realized that I had only been gone for a day, barely even that. </p><p>Doctor Bolano did a full exam. </p><p>The medic droid on Sawai had seen to the blaster wound on my shoulder, a temporary fix. My arms and legs were striped with the shots that had grazed me; there were ten marks total - seven along my legs, the remaining three on my arms. </p><p>The doctor was thorough, applying salve and medtape over all of my injuries. The worst part was when she removed the medtape covering the blaster wound on my left shoulder. I hissed and cursed with pain as the wound was exposed. </p><p>She checked to make sure there were no more pieces of fabric embedded in my skin. She tested the responsiveness of my muscles. </p><p>“You’ll need physical therapy to ensure you keep your full range of motion. We’ll need to keep an eye on scar tissue development.”</p><p>Always something to look forward to. </p><p>She gave me more painkillers. I only took one, knowing that I’d need to keep my thoughts straight for a little while. </p><p>Ekene stayed with me, a silent companion while the doctor worked. Ahobri arrived at my rooms towards the end of the exam. </p><p>“Thank you Doctor Bolano,” she said, “I’ll call on you to review Siobhan’s treatment plan.” </p><p>The doctor nodded and left.</p><p>I was in fresh clothes - a loose sleeveless shirt and soft drawstring pants. I took a grateful seat on my bed. </p><p>“Have you talked with Lord Ymir yet?” Ekene asked. </p><p>He looked tired, but focused. He had helped me, right when shit was hitting the fan, and I noticed the way determination shaped his posture and attitude. </p><p>“I told Ymir I was coming here,” I groaned, “Has he called?”</p><p>“He left a message asking for you to call when you arrived,” Ekene said. </p><p>“Well I guess I should get that out of the way,” I said with a grimace. “How’s Euora?” I asked Ahobri. </p><p>“She’s stable,” Ahobri replied, “She didn’t cause any problems. We have her set up with a medic, and there’s a security officer inside the room with her.”</p><p>“She’s not being restrained, is she?” I asked, suddenly concerned. </p><p>Ahobri shook her head, “No. We have a plainclothes agent in the room and one outside the door.”</p><p>Ahobri paused and took a breath, “Siobhan, can you tell me what’s going on? Why’s Euora with you?”</p><p>I made a sharp cough of a laugh, “Not yet. I’m not done with my questions,” I said. “How’s Thess?”</p><p>That poor girl had been awake for over a day. She had flown us in battle, then had to stay up for the trip in hyperspace to keep an eye on Euora. </p><p>“Doctor Bolano will give her an exam. I think she’s alright, just tired.”</p><p>“Okay,” I replied, “I don’t want her to have any responsibilities for the next day or two, if we can avoid it.”</p><p>“Of course,” Ahobri assured me. </p><p>There was so much happening. My head was swirling with tasks. I needed to contact Verza and Arjun, the remains of the Smugglers Alliance. I needed to talk with the Hutts. I needed to find out what had happened at the house while I was away. </p><p>I needed to know who my new enemies were. </p><p>“Let’s just call Ymir,” I said, “I should tell him what’s going on.”</p><p>Ekene set up the holoprojector on a stand next to my bed. </p><p>In the lull, a wave of exhaustion crashed over me. I was blinking, shaking my head to stay alert. The painkiller was taking effect; a woozy peaceful feeling was creeping through my brain. </p><p>Ahobri got into bed next to me. Just the feeling of her arm and thigh resting against me was a comfort. I leaned my head against her shoulder as she made the call. </p><p>Ekene stayed out of sight of the camera. </p><p>Ymir answered right away. He was dressed in fine robes. His beard was trimmed.<br/>
“Siobhan, how are you?” Ymir asked. </p><p>He was irritated with me. I could see it in his eyes. But I was obviously hurting. He wasn’t going to start off by giving me a hard time. </p><p>“I’ve been better,” I replied, “I’m here on Taris.”</p><p>“Do you have a proper medic?”</p><p>“Just got an exam,” I said, “Got a real nasty blaster shot in my left shoulder, everything else is just scrapes.”</p><p>There was a prideful gleam in Ymir’s eye, “You fought by yourself and only received one direct hit. That’s impressive,” he said. He continued after a pause, “Who did you bring aboard The Finalizer?”</p><p>“Matthias’ second in command,” I replied easily, “She’s part of my crew now.”</p><p>To my surprise, Ymir didn’t push, “I had to smooth things over after your abrupt departure. This isn’t the end of our conversation.”</p><p>I looked at Ymir. I had nothing to say. What had happened had happened. </p><p>He gazed back at me evenly. “Get some rest. We’ll talk tomorrow,” he said, and closed the line. </p><p>I rolled over onto my side. Ahobri ran a comforting hand along me. </p><p>“You should sleep,” she said. </p><p>“We should talk,” I replied. </p><p>Ekene closed the holoprojector and sat down. </p><p>“How are things at the house?” I asked. </p><p>“We’re alright,” Ahobri said. She didn’t want to talk about this now. </p><p>“I want to know what’s going on,” I said, pushing, “How are people doing? Who called us?”</p><p>Ekene stepped in, “Troye has actually been helpful, keeping the staff calm. A couple of your people did see Matthias’ message, and it was alarming news-”</p><p>“They’re adjusting,” Ahobri cut in, “I don’t know if anyone plans on leaving-”</p><p>“Did you watch the transmission I sent out?” I asked Ahobri. </p><p>She looked down, shaking her head, “No. I asked Ekene about it, though.”</p><p>“We talked,” Ekene replied.</p><p>There was darkness wrapping around my heart, pulling tight. </p><p>“Did Euora help you?” Ahobri asked. </p><p>I made a harsh smile, “Oh, fuck no. She fought me until the very end.”</p><p>“Then why is she here?”</p><p>“I think she’ll come around,” I said, “Matthias was using her as a shield for the whole battle. He had her out front while he hid in the back.”</p><p>Ahobri and Ekene clearly wanted to ask me more, but they didn’t want to press me.</p><p>“Siobhan, you should get some rest,” Ekene said, “This situation is under control. Our work can wait a day.”</p><p>“I’ll talk with our crew and tell them you’re here, and that you’re recovering,” Ahobri said, “Do you want me to come back up here? Do you just want to be left alone?”</p><p>I looked over at her, “I always want you here.”</p><p>“Get some sleep. I’ll be up as soon as I can,” she said, patting the top of my thigh. </p><p>Ahobri and Ekene left together and turned off the lights. </p><p>This was a new kind of exhaustion. </p><p>Every fibre of my body and mind was calling for sleep, but I found myself staring up at the ceiling, thoughts tangling inside of my skull. </p><p>In the quiet room, I could hear the battle in my ears, the blaster fire zinging past, the cries of the men and women as they fell. I smelled the smoky residue in the air, even though I knew it was an illusion - just a memory. </p><p>I had shot Tynne. </p><p>I shot him right between his eyes, and I saw his face give way under the plasma bolt. </p><p>A sob moved through me and I wrapped my arms around myself. </p><p>It had happened so quickly. People were firing on me and Tynne rose up, his blaster aimed at my head. </p><p>I remembered my father, the illusion of my father, in the grassland. I had fired on him too, and the creature haunted me with the image. I could see my father’s face with a chunk of his temple missing, burned away. </p><p>Tynne was a good man. I had respected him, looked up to him, and I had killed him - without hesitation. </p><p>Holdo had called me a monster. It was close to the truth. </p><p>I rolled over in bed, hoping that the shift in position would help ease my thoughts. </p><p>My muscles ached and my wounds felt raw beneath the medtape. </p><p>Matthias had called me out, but when he saw my power he ran. He died trying to flee from me, his mind clouded by fear. </p><p>I had struck him down and announced it to the Galaxy. </p><p>***</p><p>The painkillers gave me a heavy, confused sleep. </p><p>Memories rose, flashes in the darkness. </p><p>I moved through hallways in my battle armor, blaster in hand. Other times I found myself naked, running fearfully through the smoke. </p><p>Fighters fell under my lightsaber as I advanced. Sometimes I was the one being chased. </p><p>I kept finding Tynne through the darkness and the smoke, but when he turned he had my father’s face - vacant and bleeding from his eyes and mouth. </p><p>I had done this.</p><p>I had done this to them.</p><p>The realization overwhelmed me as I ran, straining with effort but hardly moving. </p><p>“Siobhan! It’s okay,” Ahobri said. Her hand was on my forearm. </p><p>I was sitting up in bed. My face felt hot. My heart pounded against my ribs. </p><p>“What…?” I murmured, putting my head in my hands. </p><p>The room was dark. Night had fallen. </p><p>“It was just a dream,” Ahobri said, her hand running up and down my back. </p><p>“It wasn’t a dream,” I said, not looking up, “It was memories.”</p><p>Ahobri was quiet for several moments, her hand resting against me. “Do you want to talk about it?”</p><p>No. </p><p>I didn’t want to talk about it. </p><p>But I already knew what lay down that road, if I kept it all to myself. </p><p>Pain was flooding through my body again, as I began to wake. </p><p>I was silent for some time, allowing my thoughts to come together. </p><p>Ahobri waited patiently. </p><p>“I killed Tynne,” I finally said, emotion tightening my throat. There was a weight on my chest, making it hard to breathe. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Ahobri said, uncertainty making her voice tremble. </p><p>I kept going. The words tumbled out of me as tears began rolling down my cheeks, “It happened so fast. He was in the group that met me on the landing. Matthias was hiding in the back, but Tynne charged and I landed a clean shot, right between his eyes. I didn’t even think about it…”</p><p>Ahobri didn’t know what to say. She kept a hand on me, not retreating. </p><p>I slowly rose out of bed. </p><p>“Where are you going?” Ahobri asked. </p><p>“I need some air.”</p><p>I pulled on a jacket. Ahobri followed me onto the balcony. </p><p>I crouched on the ground with bare feet, my arms around my knees. The wounds across my arms and legs complained. </p><p>Ahobri took a seat, her legs splayed out in front of her. </p><p>The city glimmered, smoggy and filled with life. If I strained my ears I could hear the people beneath us, almost drowned out by the sounds of traffic, moving steadily in busy lanes. </p><p>I watched the movement and listened to the sounds, allowing my eyes to unfocus. </p><p>“The longer I do this, the less I recognize myself,” I told Ahobri. </p><p>“I still recognize you, Siobhan,” she said. </p><p>The sob came on suddenly - overwhelming and immediate. I choked as I tried to take in air. </p><p>“They all know who I am now,” I said. The realization had crept slowly through my mind. “My whole life, I haven’t been shit. Then Matthias calls me out, and I responded. People know I’m a murderer. A monster.”</p><p>Ahobri was silent. Tears were rolling down her face. She took a hold of my hand squeezing tightly. </p><p>We watched the city moving through its nighttime rhythms. </p><p>Everything had changed for me, but the Galaxy kept on spinning. </p><p>We were both silent for a very long time. </p><p>Eventually, Ahobri led me back to bed. </p><p>She climbed in behind me, her arms wrapped tight around me. I didn’t mind the pressure against my burns. </p><p>I trembled and wept in her arms. Ahobri didn’t ask questions. She didn’t try to make me feel better. She just held me in the dark. </p><p>I couldn’t help thinking about Deacon, one of the freedom fighters on Otomok, a Rebel oldtimer, running from his memories of war. He drank all day and screamed in his sleep at night. I worried that I was walking the same kind of path. I didn’t want to wind up like him. </p><p>“I’ve hurt a lot of people,” I said. My voice was hoarse and thick with phlegm. </p><p>“I’m not going anywhere,” Ahobri said, her chin resting over my shoulder. </p><p>A fresh wave of tears came, and I clutched her forearm, my eyes closed, curling inwards. </p><p>With Ahobri wrapped around me, with her steady breath in my ear, I finally found sleep again. </p><p>
  <b>II</b>
</p><p>The next morning hit me like a ton of bricks.</p><p>Light was filtering through the dimmed windows. The alarm on my console was beeping. </p><p>Every centimeter of my body ached. My eyes were itchy and puffy from crying. I rubbed at my eyes with one hand, reaching for the alarm with the other. </p><p>Ahobri was shifting, pushing herself up. </p><p>I couldn’t remember the last time she woke to the first alarm. </p><p>I sank back against my pillows, staring at the ceiling. </p><p>We had so much work ahead of us. </p><p>Ahobri climbed over me and began making requests on the console. “Is it okay if Ekene comes in?” she asked. </p><p>“Yeah, sure.” </p><p>“How are you feeling?” Ahobri asked. </p><p>“Like a Mudhorn has been chewing on me,” I replied with a grimacing smile. </p><p>“We’ll have Doctor Bolano take another look at you,” Ahobri said. </p><p>“Thanks,” I replied, kissing her cheek before going to take a shower. </p><p>When I came out, there was caffeine and breakfast waiting for me, along with the doctor. </p><p>The Ishi Tib did her follow-up exam while I drank caffeine. </p><p>“How’s Euora?” Ahobri asked. </p><p>“She’ll be alright,” Doctor Bolano said, “She has a mild concussion. She has a compound fracture in her lower arm, and elbow. The blaster wound is more serious, but we expect a full recovery.”</p><p>Euora had been in my house for a day, watched over by my security. </p><p>“I should go check on her,” I said.</p><p>“Do you want me to come with you?” Ahobri asked. </p><p>“Maybe later,” I replied, “I think we should talk alone.”</p><p>I needed to keep our communication open. She had seen me kill her boss, and I was asking her to join me. It was going to be a tough sell. </p><p>The doctor changed the medtape on my injuries, applying another layer of salve, and gave me a bottle of painkillers. </p><p>I needed to stay alert, so I left the container on my bedside table. </p><p>Ekene arrived as Doctor Bolano was leaving. </p><p>“How are you?” Ekene asked, taking a seat next to me in bed. </p><p>He looked good. He was freshly shaved, his locs pulled back in a thick gold band. He wore robes in shades of coffee and burgundy. </p><p>“Better than yesterday,” I replied, “How are you?”</p><p>Ekene smiled at my question, “I feel more alive than I have in years.”</p><p>Ahobri had gotten dressed while the doctor had tended to me. She wore a halter-necked black dress with a beautiful robe of blue, gold, and black on top. </p><p>“We should make a plan for the day,” Ahobri said, pulling a chair over to my bed. She had a tablet tucked under her arm. </p><p>My heart and stomach were sinking with dread. </p><p>There was so much work to do, and no way for me to avoid it. </p><p>Matthias had outed me as a First Order agent, as a Sith. I had responded to his challenge with a display of power. We had to deal with the fallout. </p><p> </p><p>We began making a schedule.</p><p>“I want to talk to Euora, before I start making calls,” I said. </p><p>It took over an hour for us to make a strategy for the day. </p><p>Ahobri and Ekene were focused and determined. I was used to seeing Ahobri like this when she had a project to work on, a problem to solve, but this was a new side of Ekene. He talked with his hands and with light in his eyes as he helped build a plan. </p><p>We discussed what groups I was calling. Verza, Arjun, and the Hutts were at the top of my list. Ymir would be first. </p><p>I needed to talk with Jukhara, too. She had reached out to Ahobri as soon as she saw the first transmission. </p><p>I had promised to keep Jukhara out of this, and I had managed to drag her in with me. Joll knew that Jukhara had a growing contract with the First Order to provide staff to entertain their officers. Joll also knew that Ahobri had left to work for me. And now they knew that I was a First Order agent, a Sith.</p><p>The Uhdeas had every reason to believe that Jukhara was in on this deal with me. </p><p>Jukhara had worked her whole life to carve out a place for herself. She was wealthy and respected as a businesswoman. I had put all of that at risk. </p><p>Ahobri had multiple calls with Jukhara yesterday as the Uhdeas began to reach out, asking for information. </p><p>Thankfully, the Uhdeas were taking the news in stride. They enjoyed doing business with me, and now they knew just how deep my pockets were. </p><p>Ahobri surprised me with her list of groups that had called to pledge their loyalty to me. Many called before my fight with the Smuggler’s Alliance, and more had reached out after I sent my transmission. </p><p>The local gangs on Taris had whiplash. A few of them were loosely affiliated with the Foss branch of the Hutts. They had contacted Ahobri to say they had no intention of antagonizing us, but they didn’t know what our new relationship would look like.  </p><p>Only a handful of groups had called to say they wanted nothing more to do with me. In one case, a collective of the Gundark Gang, Harlock Gang, and the Bone Kings called to say they would honor the deals I had struck with them over territory, but they no longer wanted to do business together. </p><p>Fear was making people more diplomatic. </p><p>Ahobri had made a chart; there were organizations that pledged loyalty, the ones that wanted to sever their ties, and the ones that hadn’t responded. </p><p>We were going to call all of them in one day. Today. </p><p>I already had a headache. </p><p>My body was stiff and hurting. I hadn’t recovered from the fight. </p><p>I kept remembering the moment I shot Tynne - clean between the eyes. His face was reduced to smoke, burned flesh and bone. It was the same as the lookout on my mother’s homeworld - the kid I had killed so many years ago. </p><p>Their only crime was getting in my way. </p><p>Ahobri noticed that my attention was flagging. “Siobhan? Are you okay?” </p><p>I stood up, needing a change. “It’s going to be a fucking slog today,” I said with a ragged smile, “I’m going to go talk with Euora while I’m fresh.”</p><p>I pulled on simple clothes, my olive jacket and utility pants, to cover up my injuries. </p><p>Ahobri was my escort. </p><p>Euora was being kept on a lower floor, far away from the rest of my crew. </p><p>There was a security droid posted outside. </p><p>“I’ll wait for you,” Ahobri said, taking up a spot against the wall, her tablet under her arm.</p><p>Inside was one of Marle’s men, sitting in a chair, a blaster on his hip. </p><p>“Madam Zhang,” he greeted, standing as we entered. </p><p>“At ease,” I replied, barely looking his way. </p><p>Euora was up, standing at the window. She turned towards me. </p><p>There was an angry, wounded look in her dark eyes. </p><p>She was in simple clothes, leggings and a loose tunic with one of the sleeves removed. Her right arm was splinted, folded into a sling. Her braids were frizzy and disheveled. </p><p>“How are you?” I asked, keeping my distance. </p><p>Euora glared at me. </p><p>I didn’t react. I let the question hang in the air.</p><p>“Am I a prisoner?” she asked. </p><p>I shook my head, “No,” I answered, “You can leave whenever you want to. I just need to make sure you won’t hurt anyone in my house.”</p><p>Euora made a bitter laugh, “I have a concussion and a broken arm, and you still think I’m a threat?”</p><p>“Oh, absolutely,” I replied with an easy grin. </p><p>Despite herself, Euora began to return the smile, a testy glint in her eye, “What are you here for?” she asked. </p><p>I set myself up in a chair. </p><p>Euora’s room was simple. There was a wall of bay windows, no balcony. She had a bed, a sitting area off to the side with couches and chairs. The room had plants, rugs, and art on the walls - all Ahobri’s design.</p><p>“I wanted to see how you were doing, and make you an offer,” I replied, gesturing for her to take the chair across from me. </p><p>“I’m going to stand,” she said, leaning a hip against the sturdy glass window. </p><p>She was really sticking to her guns, wanting to maintain as much power as possible. </p><p>“How was your conversation with Ahobri?” I said calmly, resting an ankle over my knee. The burns on my legs pulled and stung beneath the medtape. “Did she help explain what’s going on?”</p><p>Euora nodded, “She seems like a nice girl. Why’s she with you?”</p><p>I flashed a smile in response to the jab, “I keep asking myself the same question.”</p><p>“So what’s your offer?” Euora said, an aggressive jut to her jaw. </p><p>She wanted as much control as possible, steering our conversation. She wasn’t just going to roll over for me. </p><p>I knew that I liked her. </p><p>“I want you to join me. I want to have you as part of my crew,” I began, “You’re a strong fighter. You’re organized, reliable. I need people with your skillset.”</p><p>“You want me to help you fight the Resistance?” she sneered. </p><p>She started to cross her arms, but the sling prevented that. She dropped her arm at her side instead. </p><p>“I’m not fighting the Resistance,” I told her, ignoring the awkward moment. “What you’ve seen is what I’ve been doing. I’m making deals. I’m a businesswoman.”</p><p>Euora was watching me carefully, assessing my story. </p><p>“I want to pay you seven hundred credits per cycle,” I continued, “You’ll get bonuses, and I’d cover all the expenses for your assignments.”</p><p>“I don’t want to be on the First Order’s payroll,” Euora snarled. </p><p>“You wouldn’t be on their payroll,” I replied easily, expecting her attitude, “I’m the one paying you. I’m only asking for loyalty. To me, not to the First Order.”</p><p>That last part caught Euora’s attention. </p><p>She glowered at me, but I knew she was considering my words, trying to understand what I meant. “Tynne said you worked with the Resistance for years. Were you spying on them?”</p><p>I shook my head, “No. I only joined the First Order a year ago. I was never a spy.”</p><p>Euora’s nose wrinkled in surprise. I could sense a thousand questions flitting through her mind. </p><p>She didn’t respond. </p><p>“I’m in contact with Verza and Arjun,” I said, “I expect Verza to be joining me. I’m not certain what Arjun is going to do.”</p><p>“Fucking traitors,” Euora said, and spat. </p><p>“They’re still alive.”</p><p>Euora gave me a sharp look. </p><p>“I’ll let you know what they say,” I said, “I don’t want to blindside you.”</p><p>I rose to my feet with sore muscles and protesting wounds. </p><p>“You’ll have a few days to think about my offer, but I’m going to need an answer.”</p><p>I made to leave with Euora still planted by the windows, watching me. </p><p>“I planned to tell you to fuck off,” she began. </p><p>I turned back around with amusement in my eyes. </p><p>“You’re a traitor and a murderer,” Euora continued boldly, meeting my gaze, “But I keep remembering how you yelled at Kylo Ren and kicked him off your ship. I’m listening.”</p><p>The security guard’s eyes flickered towards me - his only reaction this entire time. </p><p>I loved Euora’s boldness. She knew I could kill her, yet she was acting like she had the upper hand. </p><p>“I’ll think about it,” Euora said. </p><p>“That’s all I’m asking,” I replied, “I’ll check on you later today.”</p><p>***</p><p>Ahobri was leaning against the wall. For a second I could see all of her exhaustion from the past few days. </p><p>“How’d it go?” she asked, straightening up. </p><p>“I like her,” I said with a fiery smile. We headed down the hall together.</p><p>“Did she accept your offer?” </p><p>“No,” I replied, “She’s not going to make it that easy on me. But she listened.”</p><p>“She was mouthy yesterday,” Ahobri admitted. </p><p>“We’re really similar.”</p><p>“I don’t know if I’m ready to have two of you in this house,” Ahobri replied with a wink. </p><p>Ahobri suggested that I drop by Troye’s room. He had been asking about me. </p><p>Troye was sitting up in bed drinking caffeine when we arrived. </p><p>“Siobhan!” he cried, setting down his mug before bounding over to me. </p><p>He wrapped me in a hug that made me wince and hiss with pain. </p><p>“Sorry! Are you okay?” he asked, letting go of me. </p><p>“I’m hanging in there,” I said, my back teeth clenching from the wound in my left shoulder. </p><p>“We’ve all been worried about you. I’ve been worried about you,” Troye said. </p><p>There was no need for him to worry about me. I had killed dozens of people, only walking away with a few blaster injuries. </p><p>“Thanks, Troye,” I said, meeting his eyes, “Ekene and Ahobri said you’ve been helping everyone out. Thanks for doing that. How’s the staff?”</p><p>“We’re all shaken up,” he admitted, “But I’m with you, no matter what. You’ve always been a friend to me. And I like it here.”</p><p>Tears were pushing at my eyes. I had spent all night crying, and still there were more. </p><p>“I want to talk to all of you tonight,” I told him, reaching for his hand, “I have to handle everything with my business contacts first, but then I’ll let you all know what’s going on.”</p><p>“Good luck,” Troye said, giving me a much gentler hug and a kiss on the cheek. </p><p>***</p><p>Back in my room, Ekene had arranged everything I needed for calls. </p><p>My holoprojector was in my office. The space was neat. </p><p>Over the past couple of weeks Ahobri and Ekene had helped turn my quarters into my space. I had nice furniture, a sofa and chairs made out of wood and gorgeous tan leather. They bought art for my walls and had decorated the space with flowers, plants, and small abstract statues. </p><p>Ekene even went to the trouble of buying books for my office shelves. He found rare art books, poetry collections - the kind of stuff him and Ymir liked. I already knew that I would never read any of them. </p><p>When I entered the office, the curtains had been opened, sunlight was filtering in. Ekene had arranged for servants to send up snacks and water. He had also set up my painkillers and a small vial of Blue. </p><p>I thanked him. I wasn’t going to be leaving this room for the next several hours. </p><p>Ahobri brought her chair around to my side of the desk. Ekene stayed on the other side, out of view of the camera. </p><p>Ymir was my first call. </p><p>He answered immediately, “Siobhan. Ahobri, it’s a pleasure to see you again.”</p><p>He was dressed handsomely, with his hair smooth and pulled back. His robes were black, with a flash of crimson around the collar. He had a plain gold circlet resting across his forehead. </p><p>“How are you recovering?” he asked. </p><p>“Nothing a little medtape couldn’t fix,” I replied, “You’re the first person I’m calling today.”</p><p>“Have you looked at the newsfeeds?”</p><p>Ahobri answered, “I’ve been monitoring them.” </p><p>“The news is favorable,” Ymir said, “We had a decisive victory against the Resistance. We allowed some stragglers to escape and the word is spreading that you single-handedly killed three of the leaders of the Smuggler’s Alliance inside their headquarters. People now have more to worry about than just Kylo Ren.”</p><p>My stomach churned at the thought. </p><p>“Matthias was hoping to catch us off guard, but we defeated him before the day was out. I’m very proud of you.”</p><p>I inclined my head, hating how much it meant to me when he said those words. </p><p>“I’m about to have an emergency council meeting with our military and political leadership,” Ymir continued, “Do we have any updates? I want to tell them our plans for maintaining control of the criminal elements in the Outer Rim.”</p><p>“I have a list of the groups that called to express their loyalty,” Ahobri said, “I’ll send it along to you.”</p><p>“Thank you, Ahobri,” Ymir replied, “How many groups are breaking off their arrangements?”</p><p>“Not as many as I expected,” I replied. </p><p>“Only a handful were confrontational,” Ahobri elaborated, “Most said they would honor the deals that Siobhan made, but they didn’t want to do any additional business with us.”</p><p>“I like working with cowards,” Ymir said with a hungry grin, “Siobhan, you should plan on contacting them. I know you can bring those groups back into the fold. I’m sure they’d prefer getting paid by us to going into battle against us.”</p><p>“So if I threaten them with force, you’ll back me up?” I said. </p><p>“Of course I will. I’m planning on stationing a Dreadnaught near Taris.”</p><p>“I want to talk with our local groups before we do something like that,” I said, “The less of a First Order presence the better.”</p><p>Ymir didn’t push back or try to argue with me. That was new. We were making progress in our relationship.</p><p>“You should send me updates as you meet with the different criminal organizations,” Ymir said, “At first I thought this was the start of a disaster, but now I think it’s the perfect distraction. Everyone is paying attention to you and the criminal elements in the Outer Rim.”</p><p>“I’ll be making notes as Siobhan holds meetings,” Ahobri said. </p><p>Now that the back-patting was out of the way, Ymir turned his full attention to me. There was a stern look in his eye, “I want you to explain why you took smuggler with you.”</p><p>He wasn’t letting me off the hook completely. </p><p>“She was Matthias’ second in command,” I said, “I’ve been trying to recruit her since they had their council meeting.”</p><p>Ymir gave me a smile, shaking his head, “And she agreed to join you? Did she help you in the battle?”</p><p>I shook my head, “No, but she’s coming around. I just talked to her this morning.”</p><p>I wasn’t going to mention that she was interested because she liked the way I yelled at Ren. </p><p>“Do you realize that every time you accomplish something, you make an equally disappointing decision?” Ymir said. </p><p>On the other side of my desk, Ekene was fighting a smile. His knuckles were resting against his lips. </p><p>I knew that Ahobri would agree with Ymir, but she kept her mouth shut. </p><p>I made a sweet smile, “I want Yuri assigned to me, too.”</p><p>We were bantering now. </p><p>Ymir gave me an amused look, “And how would that benefit the First Order?”</p><p>“We work well together,” I said, “I like having him around. We’ve been training. Yesterday he was an enormous help with putting together a plan, not to mention his support in combat.”</p><p>“And this isn’t a request from your little pilot?” Ymir asked, an eyebrow raising.  </p><p>“She’ll be happy to know I’m asking,” I replied, “But no. I’d want him here anyways. I want him on my team. He’d still be able to do all of his Knight stuff-”</p><p>“Right now, I have much more important decisions to make,” Ymir said, cutting my argument short, “But I’ll give it some consideration.”</p><p>“Right. I’m going to get started on calls. Ahobri will send you updates as we have them,” I said. </p><p>Ymir closed the line. </p><p>One call down. A million to go. </p><p>
  <b>III</b>
</p><p>Verza was my next call. Ahobri stayed by my side. </p><p>Verza’s flat, gray, Neimoidian face pulled up in the screen. I could see his black security droid standing near him.</p><p>“Siobhan, thank you so much for getting back to us,” he greeted. </p><p>Verza was going to be kissing my ass, making sure he was in my good graces. </p><p>“How’s your crew?” I asked. </p><p>“I mean, the ones of us that are left,” Verza said, his lips twisting, “We’re laying low. No one has been able to find us.”</p><p>“Are people trying to find you?” </p><p>“I don’t know for sure,” Verza said, “But Arjun was attacked yesterday.”</p><p>Well shit. </p><p>“I’m glad to hear you’re okay,” I said, “You stayed out of the fight, which I appreciate. I want to extend a hand and help your crew out. You should come to my home on Taris. You’ll be safe here, and we can have a sit-down to discuss our next steps.”</p><p>“Thank you, Siobhan,” Verza said. His gray hands were clasped in front of him as he bowed his head. </p><p>I had my very own bootlicker now. </p><p>“How many people do you have?” I asked. </p><p>“Two hundred,” Verza answered, “Most of my crew defected. Arjun is in a similar situation.”</p><p>“Is there anything else I need to know before I call him?”</p><p>“No. He’s in a tough spot, but I think he intends to side with you.”</p><p>“How long before we can expect you on Taris?” I asked. </p><p>“Probably ten or twelve hours. We’re deep in the Outer Rim.”</p><p>“Give me a call when you get here.”</p><p>I closed the line and called Arjun.</p><p>One of his men, the Gand with the metal ventilator mask, answered. “Siobhan,” he said. His artificial voice was cold and stiff. </p><p>“I’m calling for Arjun,” I said. </p><p>The man turned, motioning to someone out of view of the camera, “Go get Arjun.”</p><p>There was background grumbling and scuffing footsteps. </p><p>“Wait a second,” the man said and the screen went dark. </p><p>Ahobri and I waited patiently. </p><p>Eventually the screen returned and I was greeted with Arjun’s face. </p><p>The big Trandoshan looked tired; his expression was thin and drawn. </p><p>“I just spoke with Verza,” I said, matching his more serious demeanor, “He said your crew was attacked.”</p><p>Arjun was staring heavily at me; he looked like a ghost of himself. He had demanded protection from me yesterday, and I had demanded his loyalty. He hadn’t given me an answer. </p><p>“We were hiding out near Bakura when Dar’manda found us. They called us First Order sympathizers and attacked,” Arjun said, growing more emotional as he spoke, “I lost two of our main cruisers and over one hundred of my remaining men. You ruined us!”</p><p>He pounded the counter for emphasis. </p><p>I took it in stride. He was hurting. I might still be able to reason with him.</p><p>“If you’re willing to stand with me, I can give you shelter and protection,” I said. </p><p>Arjun paused. </p><p>“I need to talk with the remainder of my crew first,” he finally said, “I’m not going to pull them any deeper into this baanthashit.”</p><p>“I’ll honor our deal. We’re making new arrangements. Verza is coming for a sit-down.”</p><p>“I know he is,” Arjun snarled. His expression quickly softened, “Will you give me the time to talk to my crew first?”</p><p>“Of course. Call me when you’ve made your decision.”</p><p>I closed the line. </p><p>I sighed and slumped in the chair. </p><p>“How many calls am I making today?” I groaned. </p><p>“Arjun looked terrible,” Ahobri said with concern. </p><p>“I mean, what did he expect, deciding to go to Bakura?” I said, “It’s really busy out there. Not a good spot for hiding.”</p><p>Ahobri gave me a stern look. </p><p>“Ladies, do you need me for anything else?” Ekene asked, climbing to his feet. </p><p>“I think we’re good,” I replied. </p><p>“Thanks for your help, Ekene,” Ahobri said. </p><p>They exchanged a brief kiss before Ekene left the room. </p><p>I requested t’bac from the console, then settled back in my chair to call Sul. </p><p>The Hutt liked me, and hopefully he’d be willing to give me some information about Boz. </p><p>His girl, Keelu answered. I noticed the way her eyes widened when she saw me. </p><p>“Madam, uh, Zhang,” she stammered, “I’ll get Sul for you.” </p><p>The screen went dark. </p><p>No one in his house had ever been that polite or responsive to me before. I guess proving that I could murder a house full of outlaws finally earned their respect. </p><p>After a couple of moments Sul’s wide Hutt face appeared, “I was wondering when you’d reach out,” he leered, with a greedy smile. </p><p>“You’re at the top of my list,” I said, matching his casual tone, “I just got started.”</p><p>“So what should I call you now?” Sul asked, “Are you sticking with Mara? Or do you want me to call you Siobhan?”</p><p>Despite myself, I liked this gangster. He knew how to roll with the punches. </p><p>“Let’s go with Siobhan,” I replied, “Now that everything’s out in the open.”</p><p>“Alright Siobhan,” Sul said, “I’m assuming that you’re calling to reaffirm our arrangement.”</p><p>“I wasn’t planning to do that over the comms,” I said, leaning on my elbow, “We’re scheduled to have a meeting just a few days from now.”</p><p>Sul laughed, a deep belly shaking sound, “Indeed, we are scheduled to meet. Your new home is on Taris, right?”</p><p>“That’s me.”</p><p>“Well, you have the attention of my whole family now. We’ll talk about that in a second,” Sul replied, “First, I’d like to hear it from you. Did you really kill three heads of the Smuggler’s Alliance, all by yourself?”</p><p>I made a wicked smile, leering right back at Sul. </p><p>“Of course I did.”</p><p>Ahobri was growing tense at my side. She didn’t like the direction of the conversation. </p><p>“I had one of my girls stationed at the comms all day, waiting for news,” Sul said, “I woke up to Matthias issuing that ridiculous call to war. Then, before the day is over, I’m watching a video of you standing over his corpse. It was very exciting.”</p><p>Sul was really digging in. But I paid attention to his words, his dismissiveness of Matthias. </p><p>I gave him a mean little smile. “So, you’ll be here for our meeting?”</p><p>“Well, it’s a little out of my hands at the moment,” Sul said with a shrug, “Boz, Rui, and Lev all had my ear all yesterday, planning how we wanted to respond as a family.”</p><p>They were waiting to see how the cards fell. </p><p>I tried to remember what Hutt families Rui and Lev belonged to. </p><p>“What did you decide?” I asked. </p><p>“Boz put himself in charge,” Sul said with a wry twist to his wide mouth, “You’ll have to ask him.”</p><p>“And what should I expect from Boz?” I asked. </p><p>“He still likes money, and he likes keeping First Order Star Destroyers away from his system, so I think you’ll find him open to conversation,” Sul replied. </p><p>“You really are my favorite,” I said, “I want you to be my liaison.”</p><p>“We might be able to work something out,” Sul said, with a sly look, “I always appreciate our conversations.”</p><p>I closed the line with Sul. </p><p>I needed a break. </p><p>A servant had left a wooden box of fancy cigarillos. I had just expected loosies. </p><p>I went onto the balcony, slowly pulling smoke into my lungs, giving my brain a break. </p><p>I didn’t like how Sul had brought up the transmission, but he wasn’t being inaccurate. He wasn’t even exaggerating. </p><p>I had killed Matthias, then I showed the world what I had done. </p><p>As a cloud of smoke left my lungs, I suddenly thought about Vin. </p><p>My heart went cold. </p><p>He would have seen both transmissions by now. </p><p>I still remembered the anger and fear in his voice as he tried to make sure his family would stay safe. Gods, Priya must have also seen it… along with all my old Resistance crew back on D’Qar. </p><p>I slumped against the balcony railing, smoking my cigarillo. </p><p>They all knew. </p><p>I had been nobody, and now I had shown the world my true colors. </p><p>More tears silently spilled from my eyes. </p><p>I thought about Ren. Everyone knew him as a defected Jedi, someone who had murdered kids and teenagers. </p><p>Yuri was dealing with that now, too, in his relationship with Thess. </p><p>All my life I had been a nobody, just a girl in the background. Now I was going to be known as a murderer, the traitor that killed three heads of the Smuggler’s Alliance. </p><p>At the back of my mind, Ymir’s statement echoed - ‘I’m fascinated to see the kind of Sith you become.’</p><p>He had his answer. The longer I stayed with him, the more hurt and suffering I would cause.</p><p>I wiped the tears from my eyes, finished my smoke, and headed back inside. </p><p>***</p><p>I sat in the office with Ahobri, making calls until I couldn’t see straight. </p><p>Ekene returned, ordering a meal for us when we forgot to eat. </p><p>Thess dropped by to let us know she was awake and doing okay. </p><p>When I told her that I asked for Yuri to be assigned to me, she gave me a hug, squeezing me tightly. I didn’t even care how much it hurt. </p><p>Ahobri and I returned to our calls.</p><p>One of my first conversations was with Qui Lohgun and Zolar Rheg - they ran the game in this part of town. We had crossed paths over the past few weeks; I had been partying in their bars and clubs. </p><p>I wasn’t used to the immediate respect. </p><p>I had to remember that I wasn’t working my way in from the bottom anymore. I was the one calling the shots. Everyone else just had to listen. </p><p>After speaking with the local guys, I talked with Boz and his consigliere, Holst. They were much more cautious than Sul had been. </p><p>Now that I was revealed as an agent of the First Order, I had the attention of more powerful members of the Hutt family. </p><p>It was agreed that Boz, Sul, and their respective entourages would arrive for a sit-down. I’d also be graced with the presence of Teke Foss, the Hutt leader for this territory. Other Hutts would participate over comms. </p><p>After this, I would be deep in it.</p><p>We scheduled the meeting for two weeks out. I didn’t know how much time it would take to figure out what I was doing with the remains of the Smuggler’s Alliance. </p><p>I also needed time to prepare the new deal that I’d present to the Hutt family. </p><p>My next call was to Jukhara. </p><p>I felt nervous. </p><p>I was certain that I could fix this situation, but the real damage was already done. Jukhara wanted to be left out of my schemes and I had dragged her deep into them.</p><p>Ahobri sat at my side. </p><p>Jukhara’s sternly beautiful Devaronian face pulled up in the holoscreen. </p><p>“Siobhan,” she said, ashing her smoke from the elegant ebony holder. </p><p>“I just talked with Boz,” I said, not wasting time with apologies, “Him and his people are coming out to my house for a sit-down.”</p><p>“Ahobri, did you tell Siobhan what I was dealing with yesterday?” Jukhara asked, daring to be sharp. </p><p>“She did,” I answered, wanting to keep Ahobri out of this as much as possible. </p><p>At my side, I could already feel Ahobri’s distress. Jukhara was our mentor, a friend. We both owed her so much. </p><p>“I’m going to make sure that your name is cleared with them,” I continued. </p><p>Jukhara made an angry, bitter laugh, ashing her smoke again, “You’re promising to fix this, that’s rich.”</p><p>I bristled. I watched fear flash across Jukhara’s eyes. </p><p>“I’m going to have a sit down with Boz, and we’ll explain you had nothing to do with this,” I said, “I had the Hutts tricked. I had the Smuggler’s Alliance tricked. I’m sure you told them you were tricked, too.”</p><p>Jukhara nodded. The decorative chain between her filed-down horns glittered. </p><p>“Then I’ll confirm it, and this can all blow over,” I said. </p><p>“I don’t know who you are,” Jukhara said. Her eyes narrowed thoughtfully, “We’ve known each other for almost a decade, and I don’t recognize you anymore… That gruesome message you sent...”</p><p>She had no idea what it meant to hear those words from her. </p><p>Jukhara looked at me with pain and anger in her gaze. Her crimson lips were pressed tightly together. She shifted her attention to Ahobri. </p><p>“Ahobri, I worry about you. I worry about Troye.”</p><p>Ahobri was crying. </p><p>“I’m going to fix this,” I told Jukhara, ignoring her jabs. She cared about Ahobri and Troye. She wasn’t just trying to hurt me, “You aren’t responsible for the fallout.”</p><p>“Any of the people you hired can come back to me. I’m not going to ask questions,” Jukhara said. “Will you tell them that?”</p><p>“I’ll pass it along,” I replied coldly, and closed the line. </p><p>After that conversation Ahobri took a break, weeping in my room. </p><p>I did my best to comfort her, but we were both hurting. Jukhara had taken both of us off the street and given us opportunities, a second chance. </p><p>I had fucked all of it up. </p><p>We didn’t have time to wallow. There was so much more to do today.</p><p>***</p><p>The more I worked, the more work appeared. </p><p>My other calls were less involved, but there were more of them. </p><p>Ahobri and I decided to split the remaining calls. </p><p>I would be personally calling the groups that had pledged loyalty to me. I also talked with the groups that said they would honor the deals I made, but weren’t interested in future business. </p><p>Ahobri called the groups that hadn’t responded yet. </p><p>We set up in opposite corners of the room, making notes on our tablets, sending our updates to Ymir when we took breaks. </p><p>As the day dragged on, we began taking little bumps of Blue. I started chain-smoking in between calls. </p><p>Verza was on his way to Taris. Arjun still hadn’t called. </p><p>I needed to talk with Euora. </p><p>I needed to talk with my crew. </p><p>All this responsibility was a weight on my shoulders, a weight on my chest. </p><p>I pushed forward with ragged determination and I promised that I would drink myself into oblivion when the day was over. </p><p>***</p><p>It was only a few more hours until Verza arrived. Arjun still hadn’t called back.</p><p>Ahobri had updated our staff and security. </p><p>I still needed to talk with Marle and let him know what to expect over the next few weeks. We would have criminals of all stripes coming to my house. </p><p>When I returned to Euora’s room she was in bed, hooked up to fluids, playing cardflip. The cards that hadn’t landed in her empty bowl were scattered across the sheets. </p><p>The same guard was in the chair by the door, silent and impassive. </p><p>“So what’s the word?” Euora asked, sitting up straighter. </p><p>“Verza is going to be here in a few hours,” I said, dragging a wooden chair over to her bed. </p><p>“That slimy coward piece of shit,” Euora sneered. </p><p>“Yeah, well, he’s coming, and I’m not going to let you fuck this up,” I said easily. </p><p>“What about Arjun?” </p><p>“He hasn’t made up his mind yet. I expect that he’ll come around.”</p><p>Euora was scowling at me, very unhappy with this situation, “They’re going to come here and think that I’m a coward like them. They’ll think that I helped you.”</p><p>“They might,” I replied. </p><p>“I’m only here because I didn’t want to die!” Euora growled. </p><p>I felt another emotion from her - a thrill of possibility. Maybe I was her opportunity. </p><p>“Then you can tell that to Verza,” I said, rising to my feet, “I’m going to talk with my staff. They didn’t know anything until Matthias’ transmission. You should sit in on the meeting, get to know them.”</p><p>“I talked with that little pilot of yours,” Euora said, “She stopped by earlier.”</p><p>“Thess came by?” I asked, genuinely surprised. </p><p>“Yeah, she wanted to see how I was doing,” Euora said, “She’s a funny little thing. I asked how she started working for you.”</p><p>Now I was smiling, “How did she answer?”</p><p>“She said she was training as a pilot for the First Order, getting kicked around by everyone, and you helped her.”</p><p>“She’s being generous,” I replied. </p><p>“She trusts you,” Euora said, “Her and Ahobri, they both trust you. It seems pretty foolish.”</p><p>I shook my head as I stood up, turning to leave. </p><p>“You were in the Resistance. You were part of the Smuggler’s Alliance before that. How the fuck did you get to be a Sith?” Euora’s voice was hard. </p><p>“It’s a good story,” I replied, over my shoulder, “Ask me again sometime.”</p><p>Ahobri found me in the hall. </p><p>“Arjun called back,” she said. </p><p>“What did he have to say?”</p><p>“He talked with his crew and they said they’ll be flying out here,” Ahobri answered, “He asked that you don’t talk business with Verza until he arrives.”</p><p>I couldn’t help but laugh, “I don’t know if I’ll be able to talk about anything by the time this day is over.”</p><p>Ahobri put a hand on my back, “I have faith.”</p><p>***</p><p>I called for everyone to come up to the lounge. </p><p>Varik and Quann were already there, playing a game of cards and using the water pipe. </p><p>Ahobri and I settled onto stools at the bar and opened a bottle of a wine. Ekene, Troye, and Ido arrived together. </p><p>Euora was part of the last group, followed by her security detail. </p><p>I had asked Marle to join us in case people had questions about their safety, if they were worried about other groups coming after us. </p><p>I was tired, a bone-deep, thought-stalling kind of tired, but I couldn’t leave my crew hanging. I had lied to them, and now I needed to let them know what was happening. </p><p>My body was hurting, pain spreading from my injuries into general feelings of hurt and discomfort. </p><p>I couldn’t wait to go to sleep, but I needed to keep going for my crew. </p><p>All eyes were on me. </p><p>People were feeling nervous and uncertain. Ekene and Troye came to my side. </p><p>Thess was introducing Euora to people. Ahobri joined them for a moment, daring to rest a hand on Euora’s uninjured shoulder. </p><p>When everyone had found a seat and had a glass in their hand, I stood. </p><p>“I wanted to call everyone here to explain what’s going on,” I began, scanning the small crowd. </p><p>Ido, Jhora, and Quann looked the most tense. </p><p>Euora was watching me with a skeptical, guarded look in her eye. </p><p>“It’s my understanding that most of us have heard the transmission that Matthias sent out,” I continued, “Has anyone not heard it?”</p><p>“We’ve all seen it,” Jhora said. The slender Kaminoan was sitting backwards on the couch, his long pale arms crossed, his chin resting on top. </p><p>“Matthias was right,” I announced, maintaining calm confidence, “A year ago, I became an agent of the First Order. I began training as a Sith under Lord Ymir.”</p><p>A wave of silence and discomfort moved through the room. </p><p>“Ahobri, did you know?” Quann said, her voice was sharp with surprise. She was a lovely human woman with brown skin and brilliantly red hair. </p><p>“I did know,” Ahobri answered, “I didn’t like keeping this from you.”</p><p>“You’re a fucking Sith? What does that even mean?” Ido asked. The Gran looked irritated, her three eyestalks swivelling to take stock of the room. </p><p>I laughed, a genuine sound, “I’ll give you an answer if you want one, but I was planning to talk about the things that most concern you. I want to let people know what they can expect over the next few weeks.”</p><p>Ido settled down. </p><p>“I want to be clear, none of you are working for the First Order. I’m the one paying you. I’m your boss,” I said. This was the most important part of my announcement, “That being said, I understand if you don’t want to work for me any longer. If that’s the case, you can talk with either me or Ahobri privately. You’ll be paid through the end of this cycle and we’ll cover transportation and moving expenses.”</p><p>I paused, looking across the sea of faces. </p><p>“I spoke with Jukhara today. She’ll rehire you, no questions asked.”</p><p>“And what if we want to stay?” Troye asked, sitting on top of Ekene’s muscular thigh. </p><p>“Thank you, Troye,” I said with a smile, “None of your responsibilities will change. I set up this house as my place of business. Your job description is the same.”</p><p>“I’m not fucking any First Order officers,” Varik sneered, cleaning a nail, “I didn’t at The Outpost, and I won’t do it here.”</p><p>“That’s fine,” I replied easily, “I’m not planning on any First Order officers ever setting foot in my house.”</p><p>I had the attention of the room again. </p><p>“Verza and Arjun from the Smuggler’s Alliance will be arriving in a few hours. I expect to be hosting them and a number of their crew for at least a week,” I said, “After that we’ll be hosting several leaders from the Hutts, then I’ll be having more sit-downs. We’re about to be very busy, which means more money for you.”</p><p>Varik, Ido, and Quann were settling. </p><p>“Some of you are still getting to know me,” I continued, wanting to wrap this up, “I worked at The Outpost for years, which is where Ahobri and I met. I bought my contract, then went on to other things…”</p><p>Euora was looking at me with surprise. She didn’t know that I had been a whore. </p><p>“I want you to know where I come from. I have the utmost respect for Jukhara and her people. This house is going to be a place where we can make some money and make a life for ourselves. That’s my intention. Ahobri and I will be available for any other questions you might have.”</p><p>Ahobri stood, joining my side. </p><p>“I hate that this had to come out in such a difficult way,” Ahobri said, “Siobhan and I just spent all day following up with our contacts. No one has issued any threats. We’ve built strong relationships and we expect our business to grow after we’ve gotten past this difficulty.”</p><p>After our announcement, I stayed in the room to talk with everyone. </p><p>I slowly drank wine, spending time with each person. I didn’t think anyone planned to leave. Money had a way of smoothing over rough edges. </p><p>Eventually, a security droid came in to announce that Verza and his crew had arrived on Taris. </p><p>One last meeting, then I was free to sleep. </p><p>Verza came down in a shuttle with twenty people - a mix of his captains and crew. Verza’s fancy security droid remained close to his side. </p><p>The Neimoidian was rattled by the events of the past few days; I noticed the slight tremble in his hand, the faint twitch in his orange eyes. </p><p>Verza’s men were nervous around me, too. They had seen the transmission. They knew what I was capable of. </p><p>We welcomed him and his crew, providing them all rooms on the same hall. No one was in the mood to socialize. We gave them liquor and food and let them be. </p><p>Verza and I went to one of the private lounges to share a drink. </p><p>Both of us were subdued. </p><p>“How are your men taking it?” I asked. </p><p>Verza swirled his glass of whiskey. “I found out who my most loyal people are,” he replied with a grimace, “Now they have very clear proof they made the right decision.”</p><p>Everyone who had left to join Matthias on Carlac was dead. </p><p>I realized that I hadn’t seen Channa at the house. She was a very strong pilot. She was probably flying. I wondered who had shot her down. </p><p>“I just broke the news to my crew here,” I admitted. </p><p>“They didn’t know?” Verza had a sly look in his eyes. </p><p>“A few of them did,” I replied, “Most didn’t.” I took a sip of my drink, “Euora is here.”</p><p>Verza looked at me in shock, “Euora? From Matthias’ crew?”</p><p>“That’s the one. I had been trying to recruit her since the council meeting,” I said with a roguish smile, “During the fight, Matthias refused to engage with me. He stayed at the back and kept Euora in front. She gave me hell the entire time.”</p><p>Euora was afraid that people would think she was a traitor. I was protecting her reputation. </p><p>“When my ship came around, I told her she could take a place in my medbay or she’d die in the hangar. She chose the medbay.”</p><p>“So is she working for you?” Verza asked. </p><p>“We’re still working out the specifics,” I replied, “I plan to have her sit in on our meeting when Arjun gets in.”</p><p>Verza and I finished our drinks and I walked him back to the hall with his men. </p><p>When I got back to my room, Ahobri was showering. </p><p>I fell onto the bed to wait for her. I was fast asleep before she was done. </p><p>
  <b>IV</b>
</p><p>The next day, I slept in. </p><p>My body still hurt. A tension headache was snarled around my temples. </p><p>Ahobri woke up around the same time I did, flopping an arm across me and kissing my cheek, “You were gone last night,” she murmured, “I heard you come in, and you were dead asleep when I came to bed.”</p><p>“So, how do you think we did yesterday?” I asked, returning her kiss. </p><p>“I think we’re going to be okay,” Ahobri said, “The staff respect you. We might wind up losing a couple, but we’ll be alright.”</p><p>“We need to start hiring more people,” I said, “We’ll have the Hutts and everyone else rolling through, and I don’t think five is going to cut it.”</p><p>“I’ll add it to my list.”</p><p>***</p><p>After getting ready for the day, I stopped by Euora’s room. </p><p>I planned to meet with Verza and Arjun sometime today. I expected Arjun to be arriving any time. At most, he was ten hours from Taris. </p><p>Euora was sitting by the window with a book in her lap. </p><p>“That was some speech you gave yesterday,” she said, turning towards me. </p><p>I pulled up a chair, taking a seat across from her. </p><p>I was dressed for the day in simple clothes; I had on a pair of tan pants, with black boots and a black shirt. I had my olive jacket with the fur collar. </p><p>My lightsabers were on my waist. I was so happy to be able to wear them in public. </p><p>“How do you like my crew?” I asked, settling into my chair. </p><p>“They’re nicer than I expected,” she replied, “So you were a whore? For how long?”</p><p>I gave Euora a sharp grin. “Three years. Started when I was seventeen,” I replied easily, “After I bought my contract, I freelanced for a couple of cycles before landing a spot in Tynne’s crew.”</p><p>Then, seven years later, I killed him. Euora was there for that moment on the landing. She looked at me with her dark eyes. </p><p>My heart felt cold and heavy. </p><p>“Are Verza and Arjun here?” she asked, moving the conversation on. </p><p>“Verza and his captains spent the night here. Arjun should be here soon,” I said, “I told Verza that you didn’t come willingly.”</p><p>Euora gave me a tightlipped smile, “So what kind of deal are you making with those two?”</p><p>“I’m going to make them work for me,” I answered. </p><p>“Your own personal smuggling outfit?”</p><p>“That’s right. I’m going to become their boss.”</p><p>“And they’ll pay up to you?” Euora leered. </p><p>“Exactly.”</p><p>“I want to hear your story, why someone like you is working for the First Order,” Euora said, her eyes fixed on me. </p><p>“We can talk tonight, after the meeting with Verza and Arjun” I said, “Are you going to cause problems for me if you sit in?”</p><p>“Not if I can talk with them after the meeting, just me and them,” Euora bargained. </p><p>I shrugged, “Go right ahead.”</p><p>***</p><p>Arjun arrived an hour later. </p><p>The large Trandoshan looked terrible. There were only five ragged men with him.</p><p>It didn’t look like any of them had slept for days. Arjun was always careful about his appearance; now his green scales looked dry and dull; his eyes were red; his robes were wrinkled and loosely tied. </p><p>Ahobri and I were gentle in our greetings. </p><p>Arjun’s conversation was strained. His men barely said a word to me. </p><p>We got the men set up one floor above Verza’s crew. </p><p>“Take some time to rest,” I told him, “We can meet later on, after everyone has gotten some sleep and a meal.”</p><p>“Thank you, Siobhan,” Arjun said, with a grim look of gratitude. </p><p>I didn’t mind waiting a few hours before our meeting. That gave me time to rest and prepare. </p><p>Ahobri and I swung through the lounge, talking with our staff. </p><p>People seemed more relaxed than yesterday. I hoped that I was regaining their trust. </p><p>Ekene was at the card table with Thess. Gela, Varik, and Ido were watching a holodrama. </p><p>I invited Ekene and Thess up to have lunch with me. Thess stayed to play cards. Ekene accepted the invitation. </p><p>As service droids provided us courses, Ahobri and I found ourselves talking about work, reviewing our conversations from the previous day and mapping out the deal I was going to present to the Smuggler’s Alliance. </p><p>Ekene found himself sitting on the sidelines. </p><p>“Fuck, Ekene, I invited you up and all we’re doing is talking shop,” I said, grimacing sympathetically. </p><p>“I understand,” Ekene replied with a knowing smile, “I’m impressed with how you’ve turned this around.”</p><p>“We should take a break from it,” Ahobri said, “I’ve had a headache since yesterday.”</p><p>“Well, don’t take this the wrong way, but I have an announcement of my own,” Ekene said, looking between the two of us. </p><p>Ahobri and I looked at him with a good idea of where he was going. </p><p>“I agreed to help with the house, and now that project is over,” Ekene said, “I think it’s time for me to return to my estate.”</p><p>Even knowing what he was going to say, I found myself getting emotional. </p><p>I wiped at an eye. Ahobri was tearing up. </p><p>“You’ll be able to survive without me,” he said with a kindly smile. </p><p>“I’m going to miss you,” I said, my throat tightening. </p><p>“Oh, Ekene!” Ahobri echoed, “We’re all going to miss you.”</p><p>“I’ll be around for a couple more days,” he assured us, “But I think it’s time to go back to my life.”</p><p>“We’ll have a going-away party,” I said, “We’ll show you a good time.”</p><p>“As long as I get home alive,” Ekene teased. </p><p>I was surprised that Ekene had hung around for as long as he did. He wasn’t a gangster, this wasn’t his scene. I’d have all kinds of riff-raff hanging around, and Ekene didn’t want to get mixed up in it. </p><p>***</p><p>After our lunch, Ahobri went off to spend time with Ekene. I had Doctor Bolano change my med tape and examine my wounds. We talked about the kind of exercises I needed to do to make sure my shoulder healed properly from the blaster shot. </p><p>A message arrived on my console four hours later - Arjun and his crew were ready to meet. </p><p>I called up Verza and Euora, and requested service droids to prepare a conference room for us. </p><p>Ahobri had done an amazing job with the house. </p><p>We met in a room that gave us a view of the city. The space was inviting, with wooden furniture, plants, and art. The colors were all in shades of blue and green. </p><p>Arjun had his five captains with him. Verza had also brought five people, even though we both knew he had more leadership. It was a mark of respect for Arjun’s losses. </p><p>I set us up at a large circular table. Euora had a seat between me and Ahobri. </p><p>There was a lot of tension in the room. </p><p>Verza and Arjun sat on opposite sides of the table. The two crews weren’t mingling. </p><p>Everyone was surprised to see Euora and gave her space.</p><p>They were all frightened of me. I could feel it. It had barely been two days since I had killed Matthias - they had all seen me standing over his corpse, with smoke still rising from the lightsaber wound in his chest. </p><p>“I think we should start with a round of introductions,” I began.</p><p>We went around the table. Arjun’s crew had two other Trandoshan with him, both bruisers. He also had one human male, a female Gran, and a male Quarren. Verza’s captains were all men; there were three Bith, an Aqualish, and a Chagrian. </p><p>I introduced them to Ahobri. </p><p>Euora reluctantly introduced herself. The men were watching her closely. </p><p>This meeting was a surrender and a declaration of loyalty. These were the straggling remains of the Smuggler’s Alliance. They had no bargaining power. They could either take what I offered or they could try to survive on their own. </p><p>They needed protection and stability, and I was going to provide both. </p><p>“I intend for your two crews to fall under my command,” I announced, “It’s going to take time for you to reorganize and find your feet, and I’m prepared to support you during the transition.”</p><p>The men watched me, careful and guarded.</p><p>“I’m willing to provide half a million credits up front to help you rebuild your fleet and hire more people.”</p><p>Now I had their full attention. </p><p>“I’ll be providing intelligence on lucrative targets-”</p><p>“No one is going to buy from us,” Arjun said. His voice was hard, “No one is going to do business with us after all this mess.”</p><p>There were murmurs around the table. </p><p>Verza was silent, his gray hands clasped in front of him. </p><p>“I expect that will be trouble in the short term, which is why I’m paying you such a large sum up front,” I replied easily, “I should be able to help you with buyers, if that becomes a serious problem.”</p><p>“What, selling our goods to the First Order?” one of the large Trandoshan sneered.</p><p>I fixed him with a very cold look, and the man withered. </p><p>“That’s your one free pass,” I said, sweeping my eyes across the table. </p><p>Everyone held their breath. </p><p>I resumed my speech, “I expect you’ll see business pick up when people learn that you’re able to pass through First Order territory.”</p><p>Verza was looking at me with hungry eyes. </p><p>“You’ll be able to use their hyperspace lanes and pass through their checkpoints without trouble,” I continued. </p><p>It was going to take some wrangling to have Ymir agree to it, but I felt confident he’d come around. </p><p>“Siobhan, we were just attacked. We lost over a hundred people and two ships. It’s not safe for us out there,” Arjun said, a note of pleading in his voice. </p><p>All the fight had been taken out of him. </p><p>“Arjun, I’m sorry for your loss,” Verza said, “But we need to mourn and move on. We’ll get new ships and combine our crews.” </p><p>My bootlicker. </p><p>“So, in exchange for this support,” I said, taking the lead in the conversation, “I expect twenty percent of your profits from each job. Also, I might need members of your crew or some of your captains for my future assignments. I expect them to be made available on short notice.”</p><p>It was the price a boss would ask for. I owned them. They were my team. </p><p>We began talking through logistics. </p><p>Right now, Verza still had three hundred men in his crew. A hundred were out on jobs, scattered between the Inner, Mid, and Outer Rim. </p><p>He had two hundred people above Taris, scattered between personal ships and his cruisers. Arjun had one hundred and thirty people - they had all regrouped as soon as Matthias’ transmission went out. Arjun’s people were split between two cruisers and a handful of personal ships. </p><p>It was more people than I could host in my house. </p><p>I arranged for good food and liquor to be sent up to them. </p><p>I shared an intelligence report on a fuel company. It was very lucrative cargo. Even if people didn’t want to be dealing with the turncoat remains of the Smuggler’s Alliance, they weren’t going to pass up a deal for coaxium. </p><p>Verza, Arjun, and his captains began to discuss how they would share resources and combine their crews. </p><p>Euora stepped in a few times with advice and guidance. She was a natural leader. She listened attentively, and spoke with grace and confidence. </p><p>Everyone was shell-shocked and exhausted. They weren’t in the mood to haggle. </p><p>They just wanted this to be over, and I was providing an escape - money and support so they could land on their feet. </p><p>I wanted Euora to be my liaison with them, but I wasn’t going to talk about it until she agreed to come on board. </p><p>“So do we have a deal?” I asked the table, once the details were settled. </p><p>“Yes,” Verza said. </p><p>“Yes,” Arjun echoed. </p><p>We shook and drank on it, then moved to the lounge. Euora, Verza, and Arjun stayed behind to talk alone. I introduced the captains to my crew. </p><p>We got people talking - liquor flowed and card games started. </p><p>Euora, Arjun, and Verza joined us half an hour later. </p><p>I stayed around, spending time with each group. </p><p>None of us wanted to party - we had been through too much. But we could sit, and drink, and be friends - a small oasis in a harsh Galaxy. </p><p>A couple hours later, Euora dropped down next to me. “How about we take a bottle of wine and talk?” she said. </p><p>I was ready for any excuse to leave. I’d have a conversation, split a bottle of wine, and then go to sleep. I took her to one of the empty lounges and we headed outside to the balcony. </p><p>I appreciated the cool nighttime air. </p><p>“How was your chat with Verza and Arjun?” I asked, dropping heavily into a chair. </p><p>“They’re pathetic,” Euora said. “They just want money and to save their own skins.”</p><p>“I’m going to be a serious disappointment to you then,” I said, pouring us large glasses of wine, “All I’ve tried to do is make money and stay alive.”</p><p>Euora smiled and we touched glasses. </p><p>“How the fuck did Tynne and Matthias find out I was working for the First Order?” I asked, as we settled into our chairs, “What gave me away?”</p><p>“They were suspicious from the get-go,” Euora said, “We were examining the territory and the flyovers. It wasn’t a perfect match, but something about it seemed off.”</p><p>“The First Order didn’t listen to me,” I said, “I had an airtight plan, but Kylo Ren and his Vice Admiral wanted to push it.”</p><p>Euora spat, “We started looking for anything we could find. We had been hearing about this other Sith that Ymir had, a young woman with a scar on her face, then we got the news about Kaige Evet in Nijune. The newsfeeds described you. It was too much to ignore.”</p><p>I barked a laugh, “We talked about the chance that the mission could out me. I was feeling too confident.”</p><p>Euora was growing more serious. She took a long drink of wine, “I’ve never seen anyone fight the way you fight,” she said, “I grew up hearing all the stories about Luke and Vader. I thought they were just stories, then I saw that fucking sword… Will you tell me what happened?”</p><p>“It’s a sad story,” I said, “I spent most of my life avoiding talking about it.”</p><p>Euora was watching me carefully. </p><p>“My father was part of the Rebellion. He flew over Endor,” I began, with my glass in hand, staring out over the city. I still left out the piece about Ymir’s wife - he had shared that detail in confidence, so I wasn’t going to mention it. </p><p>“Our family went into hiding after the war. I was born on Tevel. When I was fifteen years old, Ymir tracked down my father. The war was long over, but he came to kill him anyway.”</p><p>“What the fuck!” Euora gasped. For once, I got her true emotion. </p><p>“Yeah, he found my dad and killed him in our home, in front of my family.” The more I shared the story, the less it stung. </p><p>“Siobhan, if you’re fucking lying to me right now…”</p><p>I gave her a look. She met my eyes without flinching. I let her study me. </p><p>When she didn’t respond, I continued. </p><p>“From the moment Ymir entered my home, I felt the Force. I didn’t know anything about it. I grew up with all the same stories, of Luke and Vader, that was it. But in the moment, I felt it, and Ymir knew that I had the spark, too.”</p><p>Euora was shaking her head, her drink resting in both hands. </p><p>“I tried to stop Ymir from killing my dad, but there was nothing I could do,” I said, “Ymir felt the Force in me and he left me alive. I promised to kill him that day.”</p><p>“Siobhan?”</p><p>I was on a roll now. I was exhausted, my thoughts bolstered with alcohol. I looked Euora, meeting her eyes, “I am going to kill Ymir. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been.” I paused, choosing my next sentences carefully.</p><p>I had all of Euora’s attention. </p><p>“Snoke is pulling me into a plot to kill Ymir. I plan to use that as an opportunity to kill them both.”</p><p>Euora looked away and stood up. I could see the tremble of energy in her arms and her legs, like an electric shock. </p><p>“What the fuck!” she exclaimed. She started to pace back and foth along the railing, looking at me carefully, “What the fuck, Siobhan? What the fuck?”</p><p>I stayed planted in my seat, looking up at her, “I’m right there. I’m right next to them, but I’m going to need help. I need a crew. Right now, no one knows except Ahobri. And now you.”</p><p>Euora ran her hand over her head, brushing her braids back. They rustled and swayed. She took a deep breath.</p><p>“Yes!” she said. Her eyes were bright, feverish, “You want help to take down the First Order? Yes. I’m in.”</p><p>“It’s going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” I said, feeling very separate from her enthusiasm.</p><p>“That doesn’t matter,” Euora said, “It might be the last thing I ever do, and I’m fine with that.”</p><p>“Think about it,” I said, pouring myself more wine, “I’ll ask you again tomorrow.”</p><p>“I’ll still say yes,” Euora said with fiery determination.</p><p>
  <b>V</b>
</p><p>Euora said yes the following day. </p><p>We began working with Verza and Arjun on restructuring the Smuggler’s Alliance. We started off by renaming our group Nova Crew. </p><p>Euora put together a strategy with Verza and Arjun, to see what bridges they had burned by not joining Matthias and what relationships were salvageable. </p><p>I was making nice with Qui Lohgun and Zolar Rheg, demonstrating that we could share this city. As long as I could conduct my business without interruption I wouldn’t interfere with their turf. </p><p>A couple days after Verza and Arjun arrived, Nova Crew was ready to ship out on a fuel heist. </p><p>Ekene was leaving soon. We celebrated with a full day of partying. We began with Euphoria and bottles of Motet. </p><p>That night, we all went out on the town, bouncing between clubs and bars. I noticed the eyes on me. I could feel people’s nervousness. We were ushered past the line. The club owner visited us in our booth. </p><p>We didn’t have to pay for anything. </p><p>People gave me a very wide berth. I couldn’t melt into the crowd. </p><p>Ekene spent his very last night with Ahobri. He kept her in his bed late the next morning, but asked that Troye and I join them for breakfast. </p><p>We shed many tears as we parted ways. Thess joined us in the hangar to say goodbye. </p><p>Ekene held me close, kissing the top of my head. “You’ve grown,” he said, his voice low in his chest, “When I’m around you, I feel like the world is full of possibility. You’ve made me braver.”</p><p>I was openly weeping. “I love you Ekene,” I said, “Thanks for everything. I couldn’t have done this without you and Ahobri. Thanks for taking care of her.”</p><p>We cried, and hugged, and kissed. Then Ekene was boarding his ship, headed back to his life on Bengat. </p><p>***</p><p>My days became an endless stream of responsibilities and assignments. </p><p>Our next big event was preparing to host three branches of the Hutt family. </p><p>Ahobri was making calls to hire more entertainment. She booked chefs, bartenders, and musicians. We needed to give them a show of wealth and power. </p><p>I was updating Ymir. We were talking every day now. Matthias’ attempt to catch me unprepared had backfired spectacularly - this had become a demonstration of the First Order’s power and organization. </p><p>The Resistance was reeling after their defeat. The New Republic was scrambling to catch up to my machinations in the Mid- and Outer Rim. </p><p>Every day more groups contacted us. People knew my name. They knew that I was a smuggler, a farmgirl from the Outer Rim that had scraped her way to the top. I spoke their language. I understood how the game was played. </p><p>People wanted to join me.</p><p>“I’ve given more thought to the idea of Yuri becoming a part of your team,” Ymir began.</p><p>I hadn’t talked with Yuri since The Finalizer. As far as I knew, Thess was still talking to him almost every day. </p><p>“Yuri and I had a very long conversation yesterday,” Ymir continued, “And he convinced me that he will be of better service to the First Order working under you.”</p><p>“That’s great!” I said with a wide grin. I couldn’t wait to tell Thess. </p><p>“I expect you both to be training regularly. I won’t allow his romantic entanglement with your pilot to distract him.”</p><p>Good luck with that.</p><p>“There’s plenty for him to do,” I said, “I’ve actually been really boring. I’m asleep before the rest of my staff these days.”</p><p>That part was true. </p><p>“We’ve arranged transportation for him. He’ll be arriving tomorrow in a civilian vessel.”</p><p>“Thanks,” I said. </p><p>“You’re welcome,” Ymir replied with a teasing smile. </p><p>***</p><p>Thess was overjoyed. She pulled me and Ahobri away from our calls and preparations to meet Yuri in the hangar. </p><p>His smile was infectious as he bounded out of his ship and picked Thess up, holding her close to him. </p><p>Ahobri squeezed my hand, wiping at her eyes. </p><p>Yuri looked different; he was dressed in civilian clothes and was growing his hair out - the fuzz on his head was longer and he had a couple weeks worth of beard on his chin. </p><p>He wrapped me in a tight hug. The blaster wound on my shoulder was still tender, but I hid my wincing. </p><p>“Thank you so much, Siobhan,” he said, starting to tear up. </p><p>Afterwards, Ahobri and I got back to work. Thess and Yuri disappeared for the rest of the day. </p><p>The following evening, I had a sit-down with Yuri, Thess, Euora, and Ahobri. We caught Yuri up on everything that had happened since our sudden departure from the Finalizer. </p><p>He was a fighter, not a diplomat. He had a lot to learn about making deals. </p><p>Him and Euora would be my back-up muscle. We decided that it would be good for people to know that he was one of the Knights of Ren. </p><p>We were about to be hosting at least thirty members of three different Hutt families. We needed to appear powerful and intimidating, without scaring them off. </p><p>Once I established a relationship with the Hutts, the underground would be mine. </p><p>***</p><p>The day of the meeting, my house was in a state of simmering chaos. </p><p>Ahobri was handling all the niceties of entertainment, food, and alcohol. </p><p>There were now dozens of staff that I barely recognized, mixed in with the six people we had hired from Jukhara. </p><p>My house felt like The Outpost. We were fending off two or three disasters at a time, and everything was running smoothly and on schedule. </p><p>The Hutts had figured out a way to all arrive at the exact same time. </p><p>Six ships touched down on our landing. I was outside to greet them along with Ahobri, Euora, Yuri and our servants.</p><p>The four of us were dressed up for the occasion. </p><p>I was in a midnight-blue silk gown that covered my arms and shoulder and trailed to the ground. My battle wounds were still healing and I didn’t want to show off my medtape to the Hutts. The neckline plunged, allowing me to show off plenty of cleavage and my completed chest tattoo. I had a wide leather belt, where both my lightsabers hung. </p><p>Ahobri wore a gorgeous black dress with a deep v-neck that left her shoulders bare and dipped to her sternum. </p><p>Yuri had the most conservative clothing. He was in formal robes the color of coffee with a linen collar. His blaster was secured to the back of his belt. </p><p>Euora was dressed similarly to what she had worn when I first met her. She had a smart leather jacket dyed a rich shade of crimson, it popped even more against her dark skin. She wore tight pants with a blaster strapped to each thigh. She was not thrilled to have the Hutts stay in our home. The Smuggler’s Alliance and the Hutts had been in competition. They had a strong mutual dislike of one another. </p><p>We greeted each of the Hutts and their entourages. </p><p>Boz was first. </p><p>“We’ve finally discovered the identity of our nobody-girl,” he said with a wide wet grin. </p><p>I shook his fat, leathery hand. “You can call me Siobhan,” I replied with a testy smile. </p><p>Boz was accompanied by the oldtimer Holst, his second in command. He also had his woman, a strikingly beautiful Utapaun named Tiali. There were seven other people with him, a mix of species - all his cronies and hangers on. </p><p>Next was Teke Foss. We had never met in person. Taris was just within the farthest borders of his territory - it had been a neglected planet until I came along. </p><p>Teke was around Boz’s age, but less voluminous. He was also quieter than I was used to with the Hutts; he didn’t stare and leer like the rest of them. Teke had brought his deputy, Hal, and three women, all Twi’lek. </p><p>The next Hutt I did know. “Sul!” I greeted, trying not to let it show that he was my favorite. </p><p>“Siobhan,” he replied, “I like that name so much better than Mara. There’s also much more to read about.”</p><p>Sul and I were close - almost friends. I had been feeding the young Hutt information under the table for the last cycle. He was an up-and-comer in the family, wanting to move through the ranks by cornering the drug market between the Mid- and Outer Rim. </p><p>Sul had brought the most people. I was reintroduced to Issod, his right hand man. Sul had also brought his entire harem and several other men - some were Hutts, but there were a few other species as well. </p><p>As I led them inside, I counted twenty five people total. </p><p>We started out in the lounge. </p><p>The Hutts wanted a show and formalities. They weren’t the kind of people to jump straight into business. </p><p>Too bad they weren’t more pleasant to be around. The Hutts were loud, ugly, and completely unaware of how much other people disliked them. Or they were perfectly aware and just didn’t give a shit. </p><p>I had my people waiting for them. We began opening bottles and serving food. </p><p>Ahobri and I moved through the crowd, having brief conversations with everyone. </p><p>Yuri and Euora circulated some, but mostly they stuck by each other, looking intimidating. </p><p>Eventually, I found myself at Sul’s side. Keelu, his purple Twi’lek, was draped over him, serving him food. </p><p>“I bet you couldn’t wait to have twenty-five of us in your house,” he teased. </p><p>“What do you mean?” I bantered back, “I couldn’t sleep all week, I was so excited.”</p><p>Sul looked down at my waist, the hilts of my lightsabers. </p><p>“So, those are your swords? I thought they were just a myth.”</p><p>“I did too,” I replied with a wink.</p><p>I moved on, not interested in answering his questions. </p><p>Teke was different from the rest of the Hutts. He didn’t seem happy to be here. He clearly viewed this as an unwelcome disruption to his usual operations. Most other Hutts I met were greedy to a fault, always looking for another way to gain money and power. Teke just wanted to get this over with. </p><p>I was happy to oblige. </p><p>Once people had drank and eaten their fill, I began ushering the leadership into the meeting room. </p><p>Ahobri had everything prepared. </p><p>We had three members of each of the Hutt families participating. Boz had Holst and Tiali with him. Teke had Hal and Oris. Sul brought Issod and Keelu. </p><p>Ahobri had chosen a large room with a big round table. There were only a handful of chairs, plenty of room for the Hutts to slither and sprawl.</p><p>Once we started the meeting, we’d be joined virtually by Rui Elnat and Lev Parnek. These were the heads of the richest Hutt families in the Inner Rim, the real head honchos of the organization. Nothing I was doing directly affected their operations, but the Hutts were deciding as a group if they wanted to continue business with the First Order. My understanding was that they were joining the meeting to learn about me, observe the proceedings, and provide guidance. </p><p>The holoprojector was set up, and we quickly connected with Rui and Lev. </p><p>“Greetings,” I announced, demanding the attention of the room, “I’m Siobhan Zhang, and I’m honored to be meeting with so many distinguished members of the Hutt family.”</p><p>Gods I hated this song and dance, but it was what the Hutts were used to and it would make this meeting go more smoothly. </p><p>“So this is the woman that destroyed the Smuggler’s Alliance,” Rui said, his wide slobbery face taking up most of the holoscreen, “It’s a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance.”</p><p>“Likewise,” I replied with a sweet, sharp smile. I wanted to get this meeting over and done with. If I kept everything on track, this could just be a simple renegotiation of money. </p><p>“We’ve heard that the Smuggler’s Alliance has reorganized. The remnants are calling themselves Nova Crew,” Lev, said through the feed. </p><p>“That’s right,” I replied, “They serve me now.” The Smuggler’s Alliance hadn’t had any leverage. They were washed up - they had to accept what I had offered them. </p><p>“My understanding is that Arjun and Verza stayed out of the fight,” Boz said. </p><p>The Hutts weren’t going to be so easy. My biggest bargaining chip was the threat of violence, but I didn’t want to use it. I would much rather build a relationship with the Hutts, than start a turf war. </p><p>“Yes. They liked money and living more than the idea of dying for a good cause,” I said. </p><p>Greedy laughter rippled through the room. </p><p>We were off to a good start. </p><p>Ahobri sat at my side, calm and beautiful. </p><p>Now that the Hutts knew I was working for the First Order, their goal would be to wrangle as much money out of me as possible. I’d be providing them with additional credits, but there would be additional terms. </p><p>“I have to admit, I was shocked to discover your true affiliations,” Boz said, “The Hutt family does not have fond memories of working with the Empire. You aren’t what we expected from a First Order operative, and a Sith at that.”</p><p>The rest of the Hutt men were nodding along. </p><p>“Well, now that you know my name, I’m sure you did your research,” I replied, “I cut my teeth smuggling. I’m didn’t grow up on the Core Worlds. And I didn’t go train in a monastery.”</p><p>It was a jab at Kylo Ren and the First Order officers. I had more in common with the Hutts than I did with them. </p><p>“We should talk terms,” Boz said. </p><p>I didn’t like how he was starting to steer this meeting. I needed to regain control. </p><p>“I thought I would be the one to present my terms,” I began. </p><p>Boz gave me a grudging look, but everyone had their eyes on me. </p><p>“There’s no need for us to change any of the parameters of our original agreement. Our original territory deal suits our needs just fine. My understanding is that you want more money to keep the same agreement.”</p><p>Another ripple of laughter moved through the room. </p><p>“I appreciate your candor,” Lev said from the holoscreen. </p><p>“With that being said, I expect you have some interest in the information I’ve been providing to Boz and Sul,” I continued. </p><p>I had helped Boz discover two moles in one of the highest tiers of his family. They had been feeding information to the New Republic about Hutt operations. </p><p>“I would be happy to provide regular intelligence reports for the Hutt family, not just the branches represented in this room. But it’ll cost you.”</p><p>“How much?” Sul said with a wide shit-eating grin. </p><p>“I’m prepared to increase our payments to Boz and Sul, with Boz receiving eight hundred thousand credits per cycle to stick to our agreement. Sul will receive half a million.”</p><p>“And how much for your information?” Rui demanded. </p><p>I was not getting a good feeling from this Hutt. He was pompous and aggressive. It was clear he didn’t like doing business with a human woman who was less than half his age. </p><p>“I’m asking for a million each cycle, as a lump sum.”</p><p>It was an outrageous ask. They were offended, but I wasn’t done yet. </p><p>“Seeing as how Nova Crew is working to re-establish themselves,” I continued, cool and calm, “I expect your family to fence any goods they can’t sell.”</p><p>Boz was stumbling over himself to push back at me, “You can’t possibly be serious. We know your position in the First Order. You serve directly under Lord Ymir and the Superior General. You can’t possibly need the money.”</p><p>“Maybe these new Sith are closer to monks than I thought,” Rui said, “You may not remember, but I conducted business with Darth Maul. I was under the impression they paid you well. Has that changed?”</p><p>Ahobri had spent the meeting taking notes on her tablet. We were recording the conversation, as I was sure Rui and Lev were doing. At this direct insult she set her tablet down, carefully gazing around the table, sizing up our group. </p><p>I needed to get this back under control.</p><p>“A million credits is the cost of having me as your liaison with the First Order,” I replied with breezy indifference. </p><p>The men stayed silent. Sul was giving me a hungry look. He liked that I was pulling this stunt. </p><p>“The First Order is expanding,” I explained, making my case, “The New Republic is demilitarizing. The Resistance is a joke.”</p><p>All eyes were on me. The men were actually listening. </p><p>“I’m one of you, I want the money to keep flowing,” I said. “I think that this can be a very mutually beneficial arrangement. You’ll be paid by the First Order. I can keep you connected to information that helps your family. In exchange, I’m asking that you help my crew establish themselves. And a million credits each cycle.”</p><p>This wasn’t what they were expecting. </p><p>Boz was flustered. Teke was silent. Sul was ready to agree. </p><p>Rui and Lev were looking at me with sneering, judgemental looks in their reddish-orange eyes. </p><p>“We don’t like being strong-armed,” Lev said. </p><p>“Well at least we know she can’t use a mind trick on us,” Rui snarled. I had made him angry, and he was bitchily lashing out at me. “Our kind are too strong willed for their sorcery,” he said, staring directly at me. </p><p>I could feel his scorn. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> for the old fat Hutt. </p><p>He hated me. I was an upstart. I threatened the balance of power. I could feel his thoughts. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> for the muscles of his throat. It was a tenuous, grasping sensation. I tried not to let my concentration and effort show.</p><p>Rui swallowed hard as his windpipe began to close under my power, my right hand in a pincer shape.</p><p>Panic moved across the room. The Hutts were swaying, tails whipping nervously along the ground. </p><p>Ahobri was staring at me, not knowing what I intended. </p><p>Hundreds of light years away from me, on the other side of a screen, Rui was choking, gasping for air. Two attendants rushed to his side, but there was nothing they could do. </p><p>“The Sith have lots of other tricks,” I said. I released control of Rui’s throat. </p><p>We were able to reach an agreement very quickly after that. </p><p>I completed the transfer of funds to Boz and Sul. Ahobri and I had made intelligence reports for each branch of the family that was part of our meeting. Teke was getting information about a droid manufacturing plant. A heist against them guaranteed him a quarter of a million credits. </p><p>Ahobri took over after the meeting, ushering the Hutts through the house for entertainment. We’d be treating them for the rest of the night. </p><p>My staff was in full form, entertaining the members of the entourage. There was music, dancing, food, alcohol, and drugs. </p><p>The Hutts were going to want for nothing.  </p><p>“I can’t believe you did that,” Ahobri hissed in our first quiet moment together.</p><p>“I do,” I replied easily, taking a sip of my drink, “I’ve been waiting to do something like that since we were climbing the ladder to Boz.”</p><p>“They’re not going to trust us,” Ahobri complained. </p><p>“They were never going to trust us,” I replied, “At least now they’re a little scared of me.”</p><p>Soon I was drunk, having a good time with my staff. The Hutts were giving me plenty of room. </p><p>Sul was the only one brave enough to approach me. </p><p>“The more I get to know you, the more I like you,” he leered, his tongue roaming around his mouth.</p><p>“Funny, I feel the same way,” I replied. </p><p>“These guys are old. They’re set in their ways. Thirty years ago they were on top, but now they can’t tell which direction the wind is blowing,” Sul said, close enough to my face that I could smell his breath, “You’re a real businesswoman. I think we might be able to form a very beneficial relationship.”</p><p>“What do you have in mind?” I asked. </p><p>“If the First Order needs someone to hassle the New Republic, you should talk to me,” he said. </p><p>
<b>VI</b>
</p>
<p>After my meeting with the Hutts, things only got busier. </p><p>I was hosting dozens of people each week. I began to acquire my own group of hanger’s on. I became the home base for Nova Crew. People that weren’t being used on a job stayed with me. When the crew was between work, they lived at my house. </p><p>The other Hutts decided they wanted me to host their liaisons. Teke sent a couple of his men to stay. Supposedly, they were monitoring activities on the entire planet Taris, but they mostly stuck to my house. </p><p>As time passed, I became the gatekeeper for criminal activity between the Mid- and Outer Rim. </p><p>Most organizations were working with me, so I became the coordinator - the General for hundreds of factions of smugglers, pirates, and small syndicates. </p><p>It wasn’t a peaceful transition. </p><p>During the first cycle, fights broke out in my home. They were dealt with swiftly by myself and my security team, along with Yuri and Euora. </p><p>There were also fights in space above Taris that we had to deal with. Yuri and Thess became the leaders of an informal air patrol made up of members of Nova Crew that were cooling their heels between jobs. </p><p>All this activity put Taris on the map. </p><p>Suddenly, there was a lot more money coming in for the planet. It became the place to do business in the Outer Rim. </p><p>I continued my conversations with Ymir. We were weaponizing the underground, turning them into another tool to use against the New Republic. The Resistance was forced to go on the defensive - I left them scrambling, without any resources left to explore the First Order’s larger strategy. </p><p>With everyon looking towards me, the First Order was able to continue moving our supplies from the Outer Rim into the Unknown Regions without anyone noticing. </p><p> </p><p>I was the one helping to make Starkiller Base possible. </p><p>My dreams were disturbed. </p><p>For some weeks, I stopped sleeping through the night. Ahobri got used to me waking up drenched in sweat, chased by memories or terrifying visions of darkness and fire. </p><p>But those dreams eventually gave way. I began to dream about the Darkside, or I drifted into the Darkside in my sleep. </p><p>There was so much power growing, and nothing to stop it. </p><p>Yuri helped keep me on track with training and meditation. </p><p>He was the only person who could get me out of bed during my worst hangovers. I’d sweat and grimace my way through physical routines, then we would meditate together.</p><p>My wounds were healing, leaving scars behind - the story of this past year etched into my skin. </p><p>Thess and I had developed a deeper relationship through her tattooing. </p><p>We had at least one session a week, and tattoos began creeping along my body, spreading over my arms, down my chest, belly, and upper back. Beautiful designs spread across my hands and fingers. </p><p>I loved these meditations as I opened myself to pain. </p><p>Yuri joined most of the tattoo sessions, and as I delved into the infinite depths of the Darkside, Yuri started to explore his connection with the Light. I didn’t talk down to him or discourage the practice like Ren did. </p><p>The three of us, Thess, Yuri, and I, would sit on the floor of my bedroom completely absorbed; at my side, I felt Thess’ total concentration as she created intricate geometric designs in freehand; Yuri was strengthening his ability to be an empty vessel for the Force - I could feel the slow, steady rhythm of his heart, the even expansion and contraction of his lungs. He understood how to empty himself, and I felt the Light flow through him, the most natural thing in the world. </p><p>Next to Yuri, I pushed and clawed my way through the Darkside, exploring the depths of energy, drawing it to myself. </p><p>We were two halves of one whole, distinct and inseparable. </p><p>But Yuri wasn’t a Jedi. His awareness was hazy. The most he would ever be able to do was leave himself completely open to it. He would never be able to wield the Light. </p><p>I was able to have honest conversations with Yuri about the Force. He had learned from two teachers - training for years with Luke Skywalker before joining Ymir. </p><p>“I can feel an imbalance in the Force,” I finally told him, “When we meditate together, it feels so pure to me, but when I meditate on my own… it feels like something is missing. The Darkside is stronger than it should be.”</p><p>Yuri laughed, “Kylo Ren would never say that.”</p><p>“I know he wouldn’t,” I replied, surprising Yuri with my seriousness, “Ymir wouldn’t either. I don’t think that’s a good thing.”</p><p>“What are you worried about?” Yuri asked. </p><p>“The Force is made up of both the Dark and the Light,” I said, surprised at the conviction in my voice, “Ymir and Ren want to kill Luke and restart a Sith Academy. It doesn’t feel right. We have to have both.”</p><p>“The failures of the Jedi Council were what led to the formation of the Empire,” Yuri said, “They helped create Darth Vader.”</p><p>“But there was a give and take,” I argued. </p><p>He laughed again, “You just like things to be difficult.”</p><p>“I like to have a fair fight.”</p><p>I hadn’t talked to Yuri about my intention to kill Snoke and Ymir. </p><p>Yuri still hadn’t told Thess about his actions at the Jedi Academy. </p><p>People knew that he was a Knight. He was anxious that someone might make an offhand comment that Thess would hear. But he continued to put off talking to her. </p><p>He didn’t want to lose her. </p><p>We meditated on it, together. I helped Yuri build up his courage, and he finally came to me and Ahobri when he was ready. </p><p>He told Thess about his actions at the Jedi Academy, cutting down the apprentices with Ren and Adram.</p><p>Thess didn’t come to us immediately. In the following days, she was distant with Yuri. It was hard to watch. </p><p>She struggled with it for a week before she was ready to talk. We had been drinking in the lounge when she pulled me aside. I took her to my rooms.</p><p>“Yuri told me about the Academy,” she said, tears running down her tattooed cheeks. </p><p>“How are you feeling?” I asked her, sitting down with her on the edge of my bed.</p><p>“I wish he didn’t say anything,” Thess said with a watery frown, her lower lip trembled. </p><p>“Yuri was so worried about hiding it from you,” I said, “He didn’t want you to find out from someone else.”</p><p>“He talked and talked and talked, then he finally say he killed the kids at the Academy!” Thess was angry - her hands were wrapped into small, tight fists. “He would never tell me about his past, his family before. He hid it from me!”</p><p>Thess sobbed, pulling in ragged breaths. </p><p>I reached out to give her a hug, and Thess let me hold her. </p><p>“He didn’t want to hurt you,” I said, “But it had to come up sooner or later.”</p><p>Thess cried, her shoulders shaking with emotion. I held her, gently rocking from side to side. </p><p>Her words were mushy, thick with tears, “This training you do is very bad.” </p><p>My heart skipped in my chest. </p><p>“You both hurt people because of it. You don’t think through. You lash out.”</p><p>Her words landed hard against my heart, but I knew she wasn’t attacking me. </p><p>Thess pulled away, wiping at her eyes, “You left your family. Yuri left his family. Kylo left his family. It takes something from you. Sometimes I can feel you during tattoos, and it scares me.”</p><p>Now I was crying. Thess didn’t have a connection with the Force, but she understood it just from watching me and Yuri. </p><p>“You’re right,” I finally said, “Yuri hates himself for what he did. Kylo too. I’ve done things that I’m not proud of.”</p><p>I remembered Vin’s anger at me. I remembered the defeat in Brennan’s eyes as I interrogated him. </p><p>“I have to think about this for a long time,” Thess said, with a determined set to her jaw. Her eyes were red, and there were spots of color in her cheeks. </p><p>“Yuri loves you,” I said, reaching for her hand. </p><p>“I love him too, bigger than anything,” Thess said, “That’s why it hurt so much.”</p><p>***</p><p>It took several weeks, but Thess and Yuri reached an understanding. </p><p>Yuri’s confession made me think about Otomok.</p><p>So I told him about it, the whole story. I had thought I could approach it like any other job; it wasn’t until the stormtroopers were raiding the tunnels, shooting unarmed people, that I realized what I had done. </p><p>I told Yuri about my meltdown in the Kyber caves afterwards, my visions of blood and death. </p><p>I never wanted to do anything like Otomok ever again. </p><p>My fight with Matthias was fair. He had called me out, called me to war. I was one person, fighting against dozens. </p><p>Now, I didn’t have to fight. I only fought against people that challenged me. I wasn’t a hired gun. </p><p>I had Ahobri at my side. I had a house of my own, bought and maintained with my money. There were people that respected and feared me. </p><p>Over a cycle had passed since the supernova when Snoke reached out without warning. I took his call in my office.. </p><p>“Siobhan,” he greeted, his ugly twisted face rising on the screen, “I’d like to invite you to Taltua. You are long overdue for recognition of your work.”</p><p>We hadn’t talked since my meeting with Raj, when I agreed to help them kill Ymir. </p><p>“Are you going to throw me a parade?” I leered, leaning over the screen. </p><p>Right now, everyone was getting what they wanted; Starkiller Base was head of schedule, churning out tens of thousands of conscripted soldiers every cycle. </p><p>“Something like that. I’m planning an event next week. I just notified Lord Ymir,” Snoke continued, ignoring my comment, “Bring Yuri with you.”</p><p>“Yeah, sure thing,” I replied, keeping up my bored and dismissive act. </p><p>“I look forward to seeing you, Siobhan. I expect we’ll have a lot to talk about.”</p><p>Maybe Snoke and Raj were finally ready to make a move.</p><p>“I’ll see you there,” I replied, and closed the line.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, I really decided to dig into the details this chapter… I love exploring consequences, and imagining the kind of work that has to happen to keep a scheme like this running. </p><p>I have a lot of exciting things planned for our next couple of updates, so definitely stay tuned. :)</p><p>Thanks so much for reading this story. I always love to hear from you in the comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Hate and Fascination</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Siobhan has been summoned to Snoke’s palace for recognition. She knows that Snoke will ask her to kill her Master, Lord Ymir. </p>
<p>She will face many personal challenges, and discover that things are not always what they seem.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>I</b>
</p>
<p>It had been ages since I had been to Snoke’s palace on Taltua. My last time there had been cycles ago, to celebrate the start of construction on Starkiller Base - right before the mission on Otomok.</p>
<p>I was going to see Ymir for the first time since the battle against Kaige Evet. Since he kissed me in the hallway. The memory was so clear. I could still feel the way his lips pressed to mine. </p>
<p>I didn’t know if things had changed between us. I wondered if it was just a lapse - one impulsive moment after fighting together. Ymir had never brought it up again, and I hadn’t asked. </p>
<p>Still, I couldn’t help imagining that things might be different between us. </p>
<p>That morning I took my time getting ready, spending a long time in the shower. I examined myself in the mirror afterwards. </p>
<p>I looked different from the last time Ymir had seen me. My body had changed. There were new scars; the blaster shot had made a large, raised, starburst mark across my left shoulder blade. There were fainter scars striping my arms and legs. </p>
<p>Thess was slowly covering me in tattoos. Ymir had noticed them as we talked over video feed. Both of my arms were fully covered in complicated geometric designs that travelled across the tops of my hands and extended down my fingers. A pattern of arrows, dashes, and lines decorated my chest and belly. Thess had just begun to work on my back, starting at the nape of my neck. </p>
<p>Both of my shoulders were scarred, marked by blastershot and Ren’s lightsaber. </p>
<p>I had no idea if I was going to see Ren on this trip. Snoke and Ymir hadn’t mentioned him. We hadn’t spoken since my last time on The Finalizer, when he threatened to take Euora prisoner. </p>
<p>If Ren was coming to Taltua, it was going to be tense. </p>
<p>As I showered and packed, I thought about what might lay ahead. </p>
<p>Snoke had specifically requested that Yuri come along.</p>
<p>Yuri hadn’t spoken to Ren either, not since Yuri had left the Finalizer. Apparently they had a fight after the battle against the Smuggler’s Alliance: Ren had accused Yuri of taking my side. Ren was also cruel and dismissive about Yuri’s relationship with Thess. Instead of following rank, Yuri had lashed out and they hadn’t spoken since. </p>
<p>When Ymir had honored my request for Yuri, I thought that he was finally taking me seriously. Now I suspected that it gave him an opportunity to smooth things over with Ren. </p>
<p>Yuri had been a good influence on me. I knew that I wouldn’t be training so regularly without him. I was more muscular now, probably the strongest I had ever been in my life. I had also become a much stronger sword fighter, but I still favored my blaster. </p>
<p>Eventually, I was done preparing. I was dressed in plain clothing, something comfortable for the six hours in hyperspace. </p>
<p>When I left the bathroom, Ahobri was sitting up in bed. There was a breakfast tray set for two - she was already drinking caffeine. </p>
<p>“Feeling ready?” she asked. </p>
<p>“Oh yeah, can’t fucking wait,” I said, flopping down onto the bed. </p>
<p>I had been complaining about this trip all week. I hated these stuffy First Order gatherings. </p>
<p>I slid under the covers next to Ahobri, taking time to appreciate her as I drank caffeine and picked at my breakfast. </p>
<p>“I might need to put in a request for shore leave soon,” Ahobri said with a teasing smile, “Ekene invited me out to Lanz Carpo. There’s some big party happening in two weeks.”</p>
<p>“Submit your request in writing and I’ll review it,” I replied, stealing a bite of the pastry on her tray. </p>
<p>Ahobri laughed, patting my cheek as I chewed. </p>
<p>I was glad that Ahobri and Ekene were staying in touch. They had grown close. Ekene had done so much to build up Ahobri’s confidence during the search for my house. He had her running in his elite circles, introducing her to famous performers and socialites. Ahobri never thought she’d have that kind of experience, and Ekene had welcomed her in. </p>
<p>I dropped in on Euora before I boarded Sawai. She was training in my private gym on the top floor, running on a treadmill. </p>
<p>“About to… ship out?” she asked. She pressed some buttons and the machine began to slow down. Her feet slapped against the belt. </p>
<p>“Yeah..”</p>
<p>“I just talked with Marle, security is prepared,” Euora said, stepping off the machine. She wiped down her face with a towel. </p>
<p>“Thanks,” I replied, hooking my thumbs in my pockets.</p>
<p>I didn’t like having both me and Yuri away from the house, leaving Ahobri behind - I didn’t doubt her leadership, but Ahobri wasn’t a fighter. If anything happened, there were fewer people to protect her. </p>
<p>“I think Snoke is using this event to tell me his plans for moving against Ymir,” I told Euora. </p>
<p>She put the towel down, giving me a serious look. “So we’re doing this?” she asked, a fiery light in her eyes. </p>
<p>Euora had joined my team on the expectation that she would help in my plan to kill Ymir, Snoke, and Raj. Currently, she was managing our Nova Crew, the remains of the Smuggler’s Alliance. She also helped maintain relationships between the gangs I was involved with. </p>
<p>“That’s my instinct,” I replied, “I’ll keep you in the loop.”</p>
<p>“Good,” she said, “I’m ready anytime.”</p>
<p>I grinned, and patted her upper arm, “I’ll see you in a few days.”</p>
<p>I had the feeling she was starting to get bored. Her position here was the same kind of work she had done as Matthias’ second in command. I knew that she wanted more. </p>
<p>I had been flagging in my plans to deal with Snoke and Ymir. I was too caught up in the work of establishing myself as the center of organized crime in the Mid- and Outer Rim. </p>
<p>Money was pouring in. I was the center of everything. My decisions, even my moods, shaped the direction of the underground. People were coming to me for information. People were coming to me to ask permission. </p>
<p>I fucking loved it. For the first time in my life, I had unquestioning respect. </p>
<p>After dropping in on Euora, I headed down the hall for Thess and Yuri. </p>
<p>We didn’t really need a pilot - it was only a six hour hyperspace jump, but I thought Thess deserved a change of scenery. I also wanted as many friends around me as possible. </p>
<p>We took the elevator down to the hangar. Servants had already stowed our bags on Sawai.. </p>
<p>I sent lines to Snoke and Ymir telling them we were on the way, then we launched into hyperspace. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>For the first few hours, we set up in the galley, having a couple of drinks while Thess and Yuri caught up on recordings of sports broadcasts they had missed. I sat with them enjoying their excitement and trash talking. </p>
<p>After a few hours, Yuri pulled me aside.</p>
<p>“Would you train with me?” he asked. </p>
<p>“Uh, yeah. Sure,” I said, surprised by the sudden request. </p>
<p>I rose to my feet. </p>
<p>Yuri gave Thess a peck on the cheek on the way out. “I won’t keep you waiting too long,” he told her. </p>
<p>Yuri led the way to the meditation chamber and sat down. He waited until the door closed to speak.</p>
<p>“I’m actually feeling nervous about this trip,” he admitted. </p>
<p>I wasn’t the only one who had changed over this past cycle.</p>
<p>Yuri was growing out his hair. His buzz cut was now a messy brown mop, and he had a beard. I noticed some stray white hairs, even though he was just twenty-four, a couple years younger than me. </p>
<p>“What’s going on?” I asked, as I took a seat on the floor across from him. </p>
<p>“Do you know if Kylo Ren is supposed to be there?” Yuri said. </p>
<p>“I didn’t ask. They never mentioned him.”</p>
<p>Yuri sighed, “I just don’t want this to be complicated. I don’t know why the Superior General is summoning me.”</p>
<p>“He wants to know what I’ve been up to,” I replied, “I don’t think it’s about you at all.”</p>
<p>Yuri gave me a wry look, “Thanks Siobhan, you really know how to make people feel special.”</p>
<p>I grumbled, “Hey, you’re the one that asked. Snoke and Ymir don’t really trust me and they’re stuck relying on what we tell them over the comms. I think they want you to confirm that I’m telling them the truth.”</p>
<p>“That’s on you.”</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes, “You asked me to talk. What else is on your mind?”</p>
<p>“I’m really worried what the Superior General is going to think about my relationship with Thess. And I’m worried that him and Lord Ymir are going to find out I’ve been exploring the Light.”</p>
<p>I took his hand, “I’ll be watching out for Thess. They’re only going to hear good things from me about the two of you.”</p>
<p>“The Superior General is the one I’m concerned about,” Yuri admitted, “If he had his way, the Knights would be barred from having relationships. Lord Ymir will only step in if he thinks I’m distracted…”</p>
<p>“Fuck what Snoke thinks,” I said with a dismissive wave of my hand, “He can say and think whatever he wants, it’s not going to change anything.”</p>
<p>“It changes things for me, Siobhan. I’m still a Knight.” </p>
<p>Yuri’s expression was hard. </p>
<p>He really was nervous. I wasn’t used to seeing this side of him. </p>
<p>“Okay, I hear you,” I said, “But you and Thess make a good team. There’s nothing for Snoke or Ymir to use against you.”</p>
<p>“Unless they think I’m going soft,” he said bitterly. </p>
<p>“You’re stronger than ever,” I replied, “Meditate with me.” </p>
<p>It took a minute for Yuri to compose himself. He adjusted his clothes and took several deep breaths. We began sinking into the shared space of the Force. </p>
<p>When both of our eyes were closed, I tried to <i>reach</i> for him to help, but he <i>pushed</i> me away. </p>
<p>“I need to do this on my own,” he said. </p>
<p>Meditating on the Light was the opposite of the Dark. With the Light, Yuri practiced emptying himself, clearing space for the Force to enter him, like a stream. The Darkside was like trying to swim to the bottom of an ocean. It was harder for him. It took effort. I pushed my way into its depths and felt Yuri join me, sharing my meditation. </p>
<p>I guided him down into the well, into the keening Darkness. The energy lapped at my skin, hungrily keening. It was a void that would never be satisfied, no matter what it was given. </p>
<p>We explored the sensation and energy together for some time.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>It’s intoxicating.</p>
</blockquote><p>Yuri breathed. </p>
<p>When we were done, we rose out of it together. </p>
<p>Yuri shook his head, his hair waving, blinking hard several times. </p>
<p>“When Kylo started guiding us at the Academy, it was addictive,” Yuri said, “I mean, we were teenagers and it was something forbidden. That was enough of a draw, but, feeling all that power, after we had been training to leave ourselves empty, we had been training to resist the pull of the Darkside, it was like… it’s so hard to put into words...”</p>
<p>I smiled at him, enjoying his excitement, the boyish sincerity. “Feel better?”</p>
<p>He nodded, “I do. Thanks, Siobhan.”</p>
<p>We rose to our feet. </p>
<p>“I know Ymir and Snoke are going to use you, and probably Thess, to pry into my business. I’d appreciate it if you gave them as little information as possible.”</p>
<p>Yuri gave me a look, “The hardest part about working for you is knowing that you aren’t loyal to the First Order,” he said, brows drawing together, “I’m going to be honest with them. I’m not going to lie.”</p>
<p>“But you’re not going to tell them certain things if they don’t ask, right?” I gave him a firm pat on the shoulder as we left the meditation chamber, “There are just some things they’re better off not knowing about.”</p>
<p>Yuri gave me a wry look, “Yeah, that’s right.”</p>
<p>My implication was clear. Yuri didn’t want them to know he was meditating on the Light. But he wouldn’t lie if Ymir or Snoke asked him. </p>
<p>Yuri went back to Thess. He had prepared her for what to expect on Taltua. We had clothes prepared for the occasion. Thess had several smart outfits, all sets with pants and jackets. </p>
<p>At first, I had thought that Thess didn’t like dresses, make-up, or jewelry because she wasn’t raised with that kind of finery. But it turned out that she just didn’t like them. She had also continued to shave her head, maintaining a short layer of fuzz.  </p>
<p>Yuri loved that part of her. I had never once seen him looking at another woman. At my house he had plenty of opportunities to go chasing tail, but he only had eyes for Thess. She had been the same way - when we were travelling from meeting to meeting, Thess had quite a few chances to go to bed with other people, but she never acted on it. </p>
<p>We spent the last hour of the flight getting ready. </p>
<p>Yuri would be dressed up in his formal robes and mask, presenting as a Knight of Ren. Thess had a sharp black suit with a pale green cloak. </p>
<p>I’d be wearing my Sith robes for the first time in over a cycle. </p>
<p>I chose my favorite set - the ones with a crimson drape that wrapped across the front of my chest and tails that fell elegantly down my back. My make-up was in shades of black and crimson, and I wore a flashy pair of gold earrings. I gave myself a simple updo, pinning my hair with a gold comb. </p>
<p>I hooked my lightsabers onto the wide leather belt, and joined Thess and Yuri in the cockpit. </p>
<p>Yuri gave up the copilot’s seat to me.</p>
<p>“What’s happening today?” Thess asked. </p>
<p>I shrugged and grinned, “I have no fucking idea. We’re just going to be shuffled around by servants and attendants the whole time.”</p>
<p>Thess looked to Yuri, her expression drawing in. </p>
<p>“That’s accurate,” he confirmed, his mask resting in his lap, “We’ll be doing a lot of sitting around and listening to other people talk.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>We arrived on Taltua with all the fanfare and formality that I hated.</p>
<p>I surveyed the welcome committee from the cockpit. Snoke’s head of staff, several mid-ranking officers, and a collection of servants were gathered. Someone was holding a First Order banner. </p>
<p>“And so it begins,” I sighed. </p>
<p>Yuri put his mask on. He never wore his mask or formal robes at my house; it was strange not to see his face. </p>
<p>We exited Sawai and did a round of handshaking and introductions. </p>
<p>Servants scurried aboard to take our things. I had a small trunk for my robes and gowns. Yuri and Thess had packed kit bags. </p>
<p>“We can get ourselves set up,” Yuri said as we entered the elevator, “I remember where my rooms are.”</p>
<p>Yuri wanted to dodge the formalities as much as I did.</p>
<p>The head of staff clasped his hands, “Sir, Lord Ymir plans for you and Madam Cero to stay in the suite during your stay.”</p>
<p>Yuri tilted his head, but didn’t say anything. </p>
<p>The head of staff escorted us up to the usual suite and led us inside.</p>
<p>The doors to the balcony were open. Gauzy red curtains were moving gently in the seabreeze. </p>
<p>Ymir was sitting in a chair across from a gorgeous woman I didn’t recognize. There was a bottle of wine on a small wooden table and they were both holding glasses. </p>
<p>Ymir stood when we entered, setting down his glass. “Siobhan, Yuri, Thess, it’s a pleasure to see you,” he greeted warmly. </p>
<p>I strode forward and Ymir gave me an embrace. He left his hands on my shoulders for a moment, pleased to see me in my robes; I was covered neck to feet, with black gloves on my hands - all my tattoos were out of sight. </p>
<p>The woman stood, her hands clasped in front of her. She was elegant. I guessed that she was somewhere between fifty and sixty. Her white hair was in a soft, braided updo. Her skin was a rich nut-brown color. There were lines at the corners of her eyes and the sides of her mouth. She wore a shimmering white dress, clinging to her tall, narrow frame, and had a gauzy, crystal-studded drape around her shoulders. </p>
<p>“Siobhan, this is Senator Iyel Brox of Corellia,” he introduced. </p>
<p>“Madam Zhang, it is truly an honor to meet you,” she said. She had a low, musical voice, “We are deeply grateful for your service to Lord Ymir and the First Order.”</p>
<p>Yuri and Thess stepped forward and were introduced. </p>
<p>The woman was not much shorter than Ymir. She stood taller than me, and towered over Thess. </p>
<p>I had a sudden pang of jealousy, as I understood the Senator wasn’t just here for a friendly glass of wine. I did my best to hide my emotion. </p>
<p>In the background, servants were arranging our bags in our rooms. </p>
<p>“Come, sit down and have a drink with us,” Ymir invited. </p>
<p>At his word, a servant pulled out three chairs, while another servant I recognized opened a bottle of wine and poured each of us a fresh glass. </p>
<p>Thess was flustered by the attention.</p>
<p>Yuri took off his mask, a servant whisking it off to what used to be Ren’s rooms. </p>
<p>I noticed the light in Ymir’s eyes as he saw Yuri’s longer hair and beard in person. </p>
<p>We sat down. “Did the Superior General prepare you with the schedule for the day?” Ymir asked. </p>
<p>“I’m just along for the ride,” I said, taking a sip of wine. </p>
<p>Ymir did not appreciate the attitude. He gave me a look. </p>
<p>“We have a luncheon in an hour,” he began.</p>
<p>While he talked, I took the opportunity to study him. He was dressed in a set of dark robes in shades of black, chocolate brown, and crimson. His iron-gray hair was left loose around his shoulders, and his beard was freshly trimmed. </p>
<p>“After that we’ll have a recess. Yuri, Thess, you’ll be able to occupy that time however you see fit. Siobhan, you’ll be joining me as I visit with our Generals and political leadership. I intend for this to be a formal reintroduction…”</p>
<p>I had so much to look forward to. </p>
<p>“...This evening we’re holding a ceremony to recognize your service in battle and your successful efforts to establish control of new territory for the First Order.”</p>
<p>I was smiling. I thought of a dozen sarcastic things I could say, but decided to keep my mouth shut. </p>
<p>“Lord Ymir, I was expecting to see Kylo Ren,” Yuri said, sounding much more rigid than I was used to. </p>
<p>“We have a fresh lead on the map to Skywalker,” Ymir said, “He resumed that mission less than a week ago.”</p>
<p>I remembered when Ren had asked me to join him on the search. Our last argument had closed that door. It was fine by me. </p>
<p>“What’s the lead?” Yuri asked, leaning forward with interest. </p>
<p>“We think that Mika Grey might have hidden a portion of the map in one of the temples on Ashas Ree,” Ymir said. </p>
<p>“Really?” Yuri said with genuine interest and surprise. </p>
<p>“Who’s Mika Grey?” the Senator asked. </p>
<p>She was smiling primly, enjoying the exchange. Her legs were neatly crossed at the ankle. Her hands were interlaced, resting in her lap. There was a regal set to her shoulders. Her neck was long and graceful. </p>
<p>I found myself hating her. She looked so perfect and beautiful. </p>
<p>Ymir was speaking, “Mika is an archeologist specializing in Jedi and Sith artifacts. She’s tried to prevent me from acquiring several Sith relics.”</p>
<p>“I can’t imagine she was successful,” the Senator said, with a knowing smile. </p>
<p>“She wasn’t. But I’ve kept my eye on her ever since.”</p>
<p>“I always love hearing about your different adventures,” the woman replied, her eyes crinkling, “You all lead such exciting lives. I just go from one meeting to the next.”</p>
<p>We drank our wine and caught up on each other’s lives this past cycle. </p>
<p>Thess mostly kept to herself; she had grown so much more confident in her time with me, but Lord Ymir still made her nervous.</p>
<p>Eventually it was time for the luncheon. </p>
<p>Ymir and the Senator walked arm in arm through the hallways. They were a gorgeous couple. I kept a pace behind them, fighting to keep my emotions tamped down. </p>
<p>We were ushered into the dining hall by servants. My seat was between Snoke and a General that I recognized, but couldn’t remember the name of. </p>
<p>Hux had the seat opposite from me at the table. </p>
<p>It really was my lucky day. </p>
<p>“Siobhan,” Snoke greeted. He stood, unfolding to his full height, well over two meters, even with the curve in his spine. </p>
<p>“Snoke,” I said, a testy light in my eyes, “It’s been too long.” </p>
<p>It had been ages since we had seen each other in person. The last time we spoke was when he formally invited me to join his plot to kill Ymir.</p>
<p>I tried not to shudder when he shook my hand. Snoke was an ugly man with a personality to match. A deep puckered scar ran down his forehead, between his eyes. His right cheek was mangled and scarred. </p>
<p>Snoke was dressed in a set of beige linen robes, with a metallic gold belt around his waist. Despite his unfortunate features, he was always dressed well. </p>
<p>I was introduced to the General at my side. We had met somewhere else before, and I kept up an impersonal friendliness as he spoke with me. </p>
<p>Ymir began the luncheon with a short speech and a toast to the honor of the First Order. I surveyed the sea of military leaders, politicians, and their wives and husbands - everyone dressed in uniforms, robes, and gowns. There were at least a hundred people in the room. </p>
<p>“...And we should take a moment to recognized my acolyte, Siobhan Zhang,” Ymir was saying, gesturing towards me with his glass of wine, “Without her shrewd decision making and bravery in battle, we would still be struggling to maintain a foothold in the Outer Rim.”</p>
<p>All eyes were on me. I touched glasses with my neighbors. </p>
<p>The afternoon was a blur of boring conversations with the stuffed shirts of the First Order. </p>
<p>During lunch, Snoke asked about my work with the Hutts. He asked about my crew, formed from the remains of the Smuggler’s Alliance. </p>
<p>I went through the motions, answering his questions, talking just enough to not be rude. </p>
<p>As we talked I was <i>reaching</i> for Snoke, trying to see if I could catch a window into his true intentions. He felt the same as always, greedy and aloof. </p>
<p>After lunch Ymir followed through, showing me off to the Generals and First Order politicians. </p>
<p>Senator Brox stayed at his side; she was charismatic and clever, knowing just when to give a compliment or make a joke. </p>
<p>People were captivated by her. To them, I was frightening. </p>
<p>Dressed in my black robes, I looked like Kylo Ren. I also had an intimidating reputation. I had destroyed an entire network of guerillas in just a few days. I had fought my way through a house of enemy combatants alone, killing three of the leaders of the Smuggler’s Alliance in the process. I had taken over the criminal underground in the Outer Rim, the wildest and most lawless region of the Galaxy. </p>
<p>I was mysterious. I was intimidating. </p>
<p>We made the rounds for several hours. I shared well-crafted stories of my exploits. I knew exactly what they would find exciting, the beats that people would respond to. </p>
<p>Ymir scheduled for us to have two hours to prepare for the evening ceremonies. </p>
<p>“What’s the plan for tomorrow?” I asked, as the three of us returned to the suite. </p>
<p>“I would like to train with you and Yuri tomorrow morning. After that, we’ll have an audience with the Superior General. He wants to train with you tomorrow.”</p>
<p>That was immediately suspicious, but with Senator Brox here, I wasn’t going to ask Ymir anything. </p>
<p>If Snoke wanted to get me alone, it was to talk to me about his coup. Ymir had to know that. </p>
<p>I didn’t know what he expected of me, and, with the Senator here, there wasn’t an opportunity to ask. </p>
<p>I hadn’t seen Ymir in over a cycle, and I was frustrated that his attention was split between me and his new woman. </p>
<p>When we returned to the suite, both of them went into his rooms to get ready. </p>
<p>Thess was at the table with Yuri playing Dejarik on the holoprojector. </p>
<p>“Y’all were gone for a while,” Yuri said. </p>
<p>I poured myself a glass of whiskey and took a seat with them.</p>
<p>“I think I was introduced to every single person in this fucking palace,” I grumbled. </p>
<p>“I thought you loved this kind of stuff,” Yuri teased. </p>
<p>“All the schmoozing is fine,” I said, glancing towards the closed door to Ymir’s rooms, “I just didn’t expect Ymir to be spending all his time with his new squeeze…”</p>
<p>Why the fuck did I let that slip out?</p>
<p>Yuri gave me a funny look, but didn’t press me. </p>
<p>It did break his concentration, though. Thess used the moment of distraction to take two of his pieces. </p>
<p>I finished my whiskey and called attendants up to get me ready for the evening’s event. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>When I emerged, Ymir was in the sitting area with Thess and Yuri, sharing a drink. </p>
<p>I could feel Ymir’s eyes roaming across me, and I was happy to let him look. </p>
<p>I had brought three different dresses, eventually choosing a green silk number. It was sleeveless and backless with an asymmetrical hem, showing off a lot of leg. </p>
<p>It also showed off all of my tattoos. From the plunging neckline, Ymir could see the tattoos across my chest and the designs that travelled down my belly. </p>
<p>Across my forehead, I wore the diadem Raj had given me with glittering blue and green gemstones studding the gold filigree. </p>
<p>I had packed the gorgeous crystal dress from that night, but decided against it. The diadem was a subtle jab. I didn’t know if Snoke would recognize it, but he and Raj seemed to be in good communication. I hoped Snoke would notice.</p>
<p>“Siobhan, you look stunning,” Ymir said, rising to his feet and kissing my cheek, “I wanted to see your tattoos in person.” </p>
<p>I liked the feeling of his lips and beard brushing my skin. </p>
<p>Ymir took my hand, so I sat with him. </p>
<p>“It’s my understanding that Thess is the artist,” Ymir said, making eye contact with her. </p>
<p>“Yah,” she said with a bob of her head. </p>
<p>More of her nervous habits were surfacing on this trip. I wondered if it was actually a good idea to bring her along. </p>
<p>“They are beautiful designs,” Ymir said, looking at my right arm, “Tell me about them.”</p>
<p>Thess began explaining the meaning of the designs. </p>
<p>When Ymir had first noticed the tattoos, I told him I used the painful experience to explore the Darkside. </p>
<p>I had described the practice of leaving myself open to pain, and I told him how Yuri joined in most of our sessions. It was the three of us practicing together, all having separate and intertwined experiences. </p>
<p>Thess trailed off when Senator Brox emerged from Ymir’s rooms. </p>
<p>She was dressed in a brilliant ivory gown, her smooth white hair braided with gold bands. </p>
<p>“Iyel, you’re a vision,” Ymir said, rising from the sofa, walking over to her. </p>
<p>He took her hand and gave her a kiss. </p>
<p>Yuri noticed me trying not to respond. </p>
<p>I gave him a shrug while Ymir was fawning over his date. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>We joined Snoke and his guests in a formal salon. </p>
<p>The large room was divided into little seating areas for people to gather and gossip. </p>
<p>I found myself sharing Ymir with Iyel; I was on his right arm, she was on his left. </p>
<p>That small gesture made me happy. </p>
<p>Yuri and Thess stayed close by. </p>
<p>Yuri was like me; these get-togethers bored him, but he knew how to navigate the room. He was a good soldier with a disarming, easy going attitude. At first, people found him intimidating because he was a Knight of Ren, but soon they discovered he was warm and pleasant. </p>
<p>Thess stuck by his side, dressed in a dark suit with a pale blue formal tunic underneath. </p>
<p>We had drinks. Servants came by with trays of delicate bites of food. </p>
<p>Snoke was in the last group to join the party, entering with four of the Generals I had been introduced to earlier. </p>
<p>Him and his crimson-armored escort joined me and Ymir. Two more of his guards were stationed at the doors. There was a familiar sensation at the edge of my awareness, but I couldn’t place it. </p>
<p>Snoke’s eyes crawled along my skin, taking in the tattoos that he hadn’t seen before. “Hm, those are new,” was all he said, his lips pressing with displeasure. </p>
<p>Hux had been doing his best not to stare. </p>
<p>“It’s a useful tool for meditation,” I replied.</p>
<p>Ymir took over the conversation, steering it in a much more useful direction.</p>
<p>I found myself in a circle with Snoke, Ymir, the Senator, and Hux. A crimson-armored guard stayed by Snoke at all times. </p>
<p>“Siobhan,” Snoke said, leaning over towards me, “We’ll be starting the ceremony in a few minutes. I’ll begin your recognition speech, and Lord Ymir will present your medal. Did you prepare some remarks?”</p>
<p>“I think we can spare our men more speeches,” Ymir said, giving me a wink, “All you need to do is communicate that it’s an honor to serve the First Order.”</p>
<p>That was my line. I met his eyes to show I understood. </p>
<p>Soon we were led into an adjoining room. It was set up with chairs and a stage. </p>
<p>Snoke took the stage, with one of his guards behind him, silently intimidating. The room went quiet. He talked for several minutes, welcoming everyone and listing our accomplishments over the past cycle. Then it was my turn.</p>
<p>“We’ve gathered to recognize one of our own, Siobhan Zhang, acolyte to Lord Ymir. She has bravely represented the First Order in battle against fierce opposition.”</p>
<p>Ymir took my hand. People began to clap as we stood. He led me onto the stage. A General came forward with a medal in a small wood box, resting on top of a black felt lining. </p>
<p>The medal was a heavy gold thing in a starburst shape. The insignia of the First Order was stamped cleanly into the metal. It hung on a crimson ribbon. </p>
<p>With formal solemnity, Ymir draped the medal around my neck - the crowd of a hundred people, all the top brass, clapped. </p>
<p>I imagined what my father would think if he could see me now. </p>
<p>I felt like I was underwater. </p>
<p>“I’m grateful for the honor of serving the First Order,” I heard myself say, turning towards the crowd. </p>
<p>Ymir escorted me off the stage, my hand resting on his muscular forearm. </p>
<p>The rest of the evening was a wash. </p>
<p>After the ceremony, the stage was used for a number of performances. </p>
<p>These were high art presentations, intended to impress this elite crowd. There were singers. Three actors performed a play from Corellia that honored the rise of the First Order from the Empire. </p>
<p>Then there was a quartet, and then poetry. I actually recognized the poet; his name was Pirias, one of Ekene’s friends; we had met very briefly at Ekene’s estate. </p>
<p>When the performances were done we were ushered to one of the smaller ballrooms in the palace, where we were served more alcohol and food. </p>
<p>Ymir took the first dance with the Senator. They twirled through the crowd, completely in sync, so different from the rest of the old, jowly, military leaders. </p>
<p>I stood on the sideline with Thess and Yuri. </p>
<p>Eventually, Yuri asked Thess to dance. I joined them shortly, accepting a couple of dances from a Vice-Admiral and a General. </p>
<p>Hux kept his distance from me. </p>
<p>Ymir stepped in for a song. </p>
<p>He pulled me close to him, his hand resting against my low back. I could feel his warmth through his gloves. </p>
<p>“You’re quieter than usual,” he said, guiding me, sure-footed and confident. </p>
<p>“I thought I’d have more time alone with you,” I said, risking being open with him. </p>
<p>Ymir looked down at me, considering my words. </p>
<p>I didn’t know what his kiss had meant. It had been so long, and we had never talked about it. It could easily mean nothing to him. We had been in battle together, open and connected. </p>
<p>Maybe it meant nothing to him, but I couldn’t get the memory out of my head. </p>
<p>Ymir pulled me closer, his voice in my ear, “This party is all for you. We’ll have our time to talk tomorrow.”</p>
<p>I rested my head against his chest, closing my eyes, while I tried to catch the sound of his heartbeat. </p>
<p>I rejoined Thess and Yuri afterwards. We hung around until a quarter of the guests had left the party, so that we wouldn’t look rude or dismissive. </p>
<p>Back in the suite, we changed out of our formal clothes and started a game of cards in the sitting room. </p>
<p>I brought over the bottle of whiskey and called up for cigars. I took my medal off, leaving it on the table next to my elbow. </p>
<p>A couple hours later Ymir and the Senator arrived, flush and laughing. They found the three of us in the middle of a serious game. </p>
<p>Thess was kicking our asses, as usual. </p>
<p>“So that’s where you went,” Ymir said. </p>
<p>“Who’s winning?” the Senator asked, with a sparkling laugh. </p>
<p>“Thess,” Yuri and I said at the exact same time. </p>
<p>Ymir opened the door to his rooms. “I’ll see you in a moment,” he said to the Senator, giving her a kiss. </p>
<p>She went inside and he closed the door.</p>
<p>“Siobhan, come have a drink with me,” Ymir invited. He took a glass from the liquor cabinet and poured for himself before topping mine off. </p>
<p>We headed out to the balcony together. </p>
<p>Outside, the night was cool. I could hear the waves crashing against the cliffs below. </p>
<p>Ymir and I took spots against the railing, both of us resting our forearms against the metal, standing side by side. </p>
<p>We were silent for a moment, just taking in the sounds, enjoying the salt-tinged breeze rising off the ocean.. </p>
<p>“I’m proud of you, Siobhan,” Ymir said, “I know the medal doesn’t mean anything to you, but the sentiment is genuine.”</p>
<p>I looked over at Ymir. I had a deep ache in my heart. I didn’t say anything.</p>
<p>“You’ve always been powerful,” Ymir continued, “When I took you in for training, I had no idea how much of your power I would be able to bring out. You were so damned stubborn…”</p>
<p>I laughed. Ymir playfully nudged my shoulder with his. </p>
<p>“But I think that makes me appreciate just how much you’ve grown. You’re not the same woman that I met on The Finalizer…”</p>
<p>Now I was crying. Silent tears were rolling down my cheeks. </p>
<p>“You’ve developed far beyond my expectations, and you’ve done it in your own way. At first, I hated your stubbornness. Now I appreciate it. You’ve made me grow as a teacher.”</p>
<p>I was looking at him, my heart overflowing, longing for him.</p>
<p>“Ymir…” I said, my voice barely a whisper. </p>
<p>He put his arm around my shoulder and we gazed out over the water together until I composed myself. </p>
<p>I wanted so much more from him, but it didn’t feel like that would ever happen. </p>
<p>We left the balcony together. Ymir wished Yuri and Thess goodnight, returning to his rooms and his beautiful woman. </p>
<p>I returned to my rooms. My bedroom shared a wall with theirs. I went to sleep alone. </p>
<p>
  <b>II</b>
</p>
<p>The next morning, Yuri and I met in the sitting room at 0400, dressed for training. </p>
<p>Ymir hadn’t emerged yet. I requested caffeine.</p>
<p>“How’d you like Ren’s digs?” I asked. </p>
<p>“They’re fine,” Yuri said, with his arms crossed. He lowered his voice, “I just think that Lord Ymir wants to keep an eye on us.”</p>
<p>A servant arrived with a carafe right as Ymir left his rooms. </p>
<p>He had on his usual utility clothes, in shades of brown and green. “Pour one for me. We can take our cups down to the beach.”</p>
<p>The palace was silent at this early hour of the morning. We walked through empty halls. </p>
<p>Yuri had packed his large cleaver-shaped sword. He looked intimidating in his black training clothes with the large weapon slung behind him. </p>
<p>Outside, the sky was dark and the seabreeze was cold, tugging at my hair and loose training clothes. </p>
<p>I found myself shivering as we left the palace and headed towards the cliffs. </p>
<p>Ymir had an alcove that he liked to train in. It was a secluded place, hemmed in by dark rock walls on a black sand beach. </p>
<p>We made our way down the switchbacks, picking our way over the smooth stones, slick with seaspray. </p>
<p>There was a large rock in the center of the alcove. </p>
<p>Ymir led us up to start our practice with a round of meditation. It wasn’t yet dawn. </p>
<p>I was grateful that my aura was cloaked. That ability had only strengthened over time. </p>
<p>I could feel Ymir and Yuri, and we sank into the Force together. </p>
<p>I <i>reached</i> towards Yuri, ready to support him if he needed it. </p>
<p>Our meditation yesterday had helped him. This time, there was no hesitation. </p>
<p>Next to me, Ymir was travelling into the deep well of the Darkside. I was right beside him, but he could only feel what I wanted him to feel. </p>
<p>Slowly, I opened my aura. I was rewarded with an appreciative growl from Ymir. We plunged into the depths of the energy together, leaving Yuri to his practice. </p>
<p>I didn’t let Ymir in. He couldn’t feel everything, but he knew I was at his side. </p>
<p>“That’s very good, Siobhan,” Ymir said as we left the meditation together. </p>
<p>A faint tinge of brightness was rising over the water; the first stirrings of dawn. </p>
<p>“The meditations during my tattoos have helped.”</p>
<p>“Several other Sith have used that experience as practice,” Ymir said, “I haven’t tried it myself.”</p>
<p>Yuri was sitting calmly, his hands planted on his knees. </p>
<p>As the sun began to rise, we walked down from the rock, to begin our physical practice. </p>
<p>Ymir started off watching me and Yuri spar. I gave Yuri one of my lightsabers to use. </p>
<p>In the dim, pre-dawn light, my lightsaber hummed steady and green. </p>
<p>After working together for a cycle, Yuri and I were comfortable. We were well-matched. </p>
<p>“Yuri, you’re a strong swordmaster. I can see how much Siobhan has improved,” Ymir called out. </p>
<p>Yuri grinned, lunging forward with an attack that I barely blocked.</p>
<p>“Thanks for the compliment,” I grumbled. </p>
<p>Next, Ymir had a match with Yuri. </p>
<p>I leaned against the large rock, watching the two men. </p>
<p>It was a very even match. Both men were large and powerful, but also very fast. <br/>Yuri was used to a much heavier sword. With my lightsaber in hand, his attacks were quick and fluid. His weakness was defense. Yuri’s cleaver shaped blade could also be used as a shield, and he didn’t have that advantage with a lightsaber. </p>
<p>Ymir won the match, finding an opening that Yuri didn’t anticipate. Ymir’s golden blade wound up pointing squarely towards Yuri’s chest.  </p>
<p>We did drills after that, working up a sweat as dawn broke with brilliant shades of orange, gold, and pink. </p>
<p>I thought our practice was over, but Ymir put a hand on my shoulder. “I want a match with you,” he said.</p>
<p>Yuri took a place on top of the rock, his legs draping over the sides. </p>
<p>I wanted to impress Ymir. I wanted his attention. </p>
<p>We squared off. </p>
<p>The tide was coming in, creeping along the rocky beach. </p>
<p>I allowed Ymir to go on the offensive first, getting a feel for how he wanted to direct the fight. </p>
<p>Our blades clashed. </p>
<p>Every time Ymir made a move against me I blocked it, my other sword coming around to attack, searching for any opening. </p>
<p>Ymir had the advantage of size and reach, but I had grown comfortable with getting in close. </p>
<p>I pressed him back, closing the distance. </p>
<p>Ymir’s boots were in the tide. </p>
<p>I was a challenge for him. I loved seeing his snarling grin in response. </p>
<p>I thought I could get in under his blade, but then I was surprised by a volley of swift attacks, one after the other. </p>
<p>Ymir had let me get cocky, and I had fallen for it. </p>
<p>I retreated, circling him, staying light on my feet. </p>
<p>Ymir began to make full use of his size and strength. I could feel his blows in my forearms. </p>
<p>Both of us were sweating, pulling long breaths into our lungs. </p>
<p>Yuri was leaning forward, his hands on his thighs, watching us. </p>
<p>I could feel Ymir’s effort. </p>
<p>He wasn’t pushing me back as easily as he was used to. </p>
<p>I had him. I really had him. </p>
<p>My back teeth were clenched with determination. My awareness and my body were in sync. I pushed my attack, but Ymir was ready. I struck out, aiming for his legs, but he was ready for that strategy from my previous matches. </p>
<p>Ymir blocked me as I used both blades, trying to find a way through his defenses. </p>
<p>It became clear that I was holding my own. Ymir pressed forward with the ferocity he had been holding back. </p>
<p>We were still under control. </p>
<p>Neither one of us were trying to hurt the other, but neither of us were willing to concede. </p>
<p>One of us was going to win and one of us was going to lose. </p>
<p>I wanted so desperately to win. Snoke would be asking me to move against Ymir. I had to be ready. This time, I wouldn’t lose. </p>
<p>Still, Ymir was the better sword fighter. </p>
<p>I found an opening near his hip and leaned into it, realizing too late that it was a trap. </p>
<p>His elbow was coming around. I leaned back to create some distance. The elbow was a feint -  Ymir caught one of my blades from beneath, heaving upward with his sword to disarm me. I held on but staggered backwards, toppling onto my ass. </p>
<p>I managed to thumb the dials on my blades before I landed. </p>
<p>Ymir had his blade deactivated already. He held out his hand, quickly helping me to my feet. </p>
<p>Yuri slid off the rock, his boots splashing into the surf. </p>
<p>“You’ve made vast improvements,” Ymir said as I brushed the sand off. </p>
<p>It wasn’t enough. I still couldn’t find a way to win. </p>
<p>My thoughts grew clouded by doubt.</p>
<p>I tried to push the feelings from my mind. I was about to have a private meeting with Snoke - I couldn’t go in distracted.</p>
<p>The hike up the switchbacks helped. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>We returned to our suite tired and damp, our clothes and hair wet with mist. </p>
<p>When we entered, I found Thess and the Senator having breakfast together. </p>
<p>The Senator was dressed in fine robes in shades of white, gray, and gold. Her hair was up, with wavy strands of white framing her face. “Good morning,” she greeted. </p>
<p>Ymir came to her side and kissed her cheek. </p>
<p>Yuri stole a bite of fruit from Thess’ plate. She complained, swatting at his hand.  </p>
<p>I went back to my room to think, while I showered and changed clothes. </p>
<p>Was Ymir going to talk to me about this meeting, or was he just planning on letting Snoke do whatever he wanted? </p>
<p>Was I walking into some kind of trap?</p>
<p>My robes were plainer than the set I wore yesterday. They were in shades of black and charcoal gray. I didn’t bother with make-up or jewelry. I wrapped my hair into a simple braid. </p>
<p>We had time to eat. The Senator was making friendly gossip about the events of the previous evening, and talking about her plans for the day. She would be dropping in on several of the other politicians before they all headed back to their respective planets. </p>
<p>“I’m leaving for Kotrea at 1000,” Ymir said as he finished his meal. </p>
<p>That was three hours from now. </p>
<p>I was relieved to know I wouldn’t get sucked into spending another day here. </p>
<p>I’d have my meeting with Snoke, I’d pack Thess and Yuri onto Sawai, and we’d be back to Taris before the end of the day. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>We left Thess behind with the Senator, and set out for the meeting as a group of three. </p>
<p>The halls were still quiet, it was barely past 0700. </p>
<p>Ymir turned to Yuri, “I don’t intend this to be a shock, but are you aware that Adram joined the Superior General’s guard?”</p>
<p>Yuri continued striding forward. He had his mask on, covered in the black layers of his robes. “No one told me,” he said. His voice was monotone through the ‘feed. </p>
<p>“It happened recently, just a couple of weeks ago,” Ymir said, “I told Kylo Ren to pass the message along.”</p>
<p>“He hasn’t called me,” Yuri said. </p>
<p>Adram must have been who I felt yesterday, the familiar energy. </p>
<p>Adram hated me. He saw me as competition. I didn’t know if that created more problems for me or not. </p>
<p>I remembered Snoke ordering one of his guards to attack me. </p>
<p>Occupied by these thoughts, I entered Snoke’s audience chamber. I was a pace behind Ymir on his right-hand side. </p>
<p>Two crimson guards stood outside the door. They opened it as we approached.</p>
<p>Snoke’s audience chamber was overdone. The floors and columns were made of black marble. The left hand wall was decorated in massive panels of stained glass, in swirling red patterns. </p>
<p>Morning light was faintly drifting through, staining the floors crimson. The opposite wall was decorated in First Order banners</p>
<p>At the end of the hall, draped in metallic silver robes, Snoke sat on his throne. </p>
<p>“Lord Ymir. Siobhan. Yuri,” Snoke greeted, gesturing with a gnarled bony hand.</p>
<p>Four guards were fanned out against the wall behind his throne. </p>
<p>I could feel Adram, now that I knew what I was looking for. </p>
<p>We pulled up at the steps, a dozen meters in front of Snoke’s throne. </p>
<p>He rose and slowly made his way down the steps towards us.  </p>
<p>Snoke took my hand in his. He felt cold and clammy. </p>
<p>“We had our little ceremony yesterday. That was for our Generals and politicians. I want to personally congratulate you on your accomplishments. I didn’t expect you to be making so much progress in the Outer Rim.”</p>
<p>“Just doing my job,” I replied, gazing into Snoke’s pale blue eyes. </p>
<p>His lips curled, thin and humorless. </p>
<p>Snoke turned his attention to Yuri, “I was surprised to hear that you left Kylo Ren. But Lord Ymir tells me that you and Siobhan have formed quite the partnership.”</p>
<p>Yuri drew himself up. He had to sense that Adram was in the room, overhearing this. </p>
<p>“I didn’t leave Kylo Ren,” he said, “I’m still one of his Knights. I’ve found an opportunity to learn, with Siobhan.”</p>
<p>“Superior General,” Ymir cautioned, putting a hand on Yuri’s shoulder, “I was skeptical of this plan at first, too. But Yuri has strengthened his connection with the Force. I could feel it in our meditation today.”</p>
<p>“And you’re aware that Adram has joined my guard,” Snoke said, moving on. </p>
<p>“Yes, Superior General,” Yuri said, formal and military. </p>
<p>“I look forward to seeing your development,” Snoke said, “Maybe one day you’ll be strong enough to join this team as well.”</p>
<p>I had to focus not to shudder. What an awful way to live. </p>
<p>Snoke wasn’t done. “Yuri, you’ll meet with Lord Ymir, to provide an honest assessment and review of Siobhan’s operation on Taris,” he said. </p>
<p>“Yes, Superior General,” Yuri said, inclining his head. </p>
<p>Snoke turned to me, “Siobhan, you and I will have a meeting.”</p>
<p>I stood my ground, my hand resting on my hip, just above my lightsabers. </p>
<p>I couldn’t wait to see what Snoke was going to throw at me this time. </p>
<p>Ymir turned to me. “Meet me in the suite when you’re done,” he said. </p>
<p>Snoke and I stood apart from each other as Ymir and Yuri left, their footsteps echoing on the marble. </p>
<p>I felt Snoke <i>reach</i> for me, but there was nothing he could take a hold of. I could <i>reach</i> into him, though. I felt a rush of greed and hatred. To him, I was as much of an opportunity as a liability. He wanted to use me, the same way he used Kylo Ren. </p>
<p>The doors closed. We were left alone. </p>
<p>“I don’t often change my mind about people,” Snoke began, walking in a slow circle around me, tugging at the edges of my awareness, “But I’ve changed my mind about you.”</p>
<p>Snoke’s voice was measured and even, matching the pace of his feet. </p>
<p>This was a prepared speech. I waited to see where he was going. </p>
<p>“Do you remember when we first met?” he asked me. </p>
<p>I made a sharp laugh, “Of course I do.”</p>
<p>“You were brutish and unsophisticated,” Snoke began. </p>
<p>He was trying to rile me up, catch me off guard. It wasn’t going to happen. </p>
<p>“When Lord Ymir told me he was taking you to Korriban, I was overjoyed. I knew that I would never see you again. Still you survived, wounded and scarred, but alive. I didn’t expect your subsequent successes either. Each time you encounter a challenge, you always overcome it.”</p>
<p>I was thinking of my sparring match with Ymir. Would I ever be strong enough to win?</p>
<p>“You’ve made me respect you, Siobhan,” Snoke said. </p>
<p>I scowled. </p>
<p>“You don’t believe me?” he replied, an eyebrow lifting, expression twisting. </p>
<p>“Of course not,” I said easily, crossing my arms over my chest. </p>
<p>“Lord Ymir sounds different when he talks about you these days,” Snoke said, “I think that you are his one weakness.”</p>
<p>I barked a laugh. </p>
<p>Snoke gave me a sharp look, already tired of my attitude, “What?”</p>
<p>“Yuri said the same thing.”</p>
<p>Snoke drew himself up in front of me, studying me, “I called you in because I want to expand your ability to wield the Force.”</p>
<p>“Is this all part of your master plan?” I said, trying not to sneer. </p>
<p>“I want to help train you. There are many tools available to you through the Force.” </p>
<p>He held his large, knobby hands across from one another. </p>
<p>In an instant, I felt him drawing energy towards himself. Lighting arced between his open palms and fingertips. </p>
<p>“Would you like to learn?” he said with a nonchalant sneer. </p>
<p>“Yes,” I replied with a nod. </p>
<p>Snoke turned and motioned for me to follow him up the steps. </p>
<p>I did. “What about your plan? I haven’t heard from you or Raj since we met.”</p>
<p>I wondered if Snoke was going to dismiss his guards. I could feel Adram in the room with us - his aura was hazy and unnaturally still. </p>
<p>Adram loved Ymir, he was devoted to the man. I couldn’t imagine Adram standing by while we talked about our plan to murder Ymir. But maybe this was part of Ymir’s plan. Maybe Adram was a mole. </p>
<p>“We haven’t contacted you because we aren’t ready to move,” Snoke said, taking a seat on his throne. </p>
<p>I kept my awareness extended, feeling for traps, wanting to keep a step ahead. </p>
<p>“Our plans are proceeding exactly the way we want them. Starkiller Base is ahead of schedule. You’re protecting our supply lines and controlling the unsavory elements of the Galaxy. Kylo Ren is hunting down the last Jedi. An upset now would turn all our hard work into chaos.”</p>
<p>Oh, but I liked the sound of that. </p>
<p>I thought about Euora, ready to jump into action when I gave her the word. </p>
<p>“I want you to feel for me this time,” Snoke instructed, holding his hands in front of him. </p>
<p>He took a breath and I <i>reached</i> for him, trying to understand where the energy came from. </p>
<p>I felt the surge and watched lighting arc again - a collection of staticky strings of electricity between his palms and fingers, completely under his control. </p>
<p>Snoke repeated the action several more times. “Can you feel how I’m summoning the energy?”</p>
<p>I shook my head. There was nothing, then a surge of something. </p>
<p>“This is one of the most difficult skills to acquire. It took me many years to learn,” Snoke said. </p>
<p>That might have been the most understanding thing the man had ever told me. </p>
<p>I sat, my brow furrowed in thought. </p>
<p>“Did Ymir tell you that I destroyed… that I burned down the creature in the grassland on Korriban?” I finally said. </p>
<p>“He did,” Snoke said with a slow nod, “He still doesn’t know how you did it.”</p>
<p>I took a breath. </p>
<p>I was about to take a risk, but I felt confident I could navigate anything that Snoke tried to pull. </p>
<p>“I’ll show you,” I said. </p>
<p>We both closed our eyes. </p>
<p>I felt Snoke <i>reach</i> for me, and I let him in. </p>
<p>I returned to the memory of Korriban, the day I killed the creature in the grassland.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Sweat is dripping down my temples, sliding underneath my collar.</p>
  <p>There is determination in my heart.</p>
  <p>I sit out on the rock, the grasses waving - a dry brittle sea around me.</p>
  <p>The grassland conjures up the image of my father. </p>
  <p>He sits blankly in front of me, dumb and bleeding from the eyes and mouth.</p>
  <p>I drop into my memories of hurt and pain, and I feel the creature responding. </p>
  <p>In the between-space of the Force, I feel the tendrils of the creature, grasping at me. </p>
  <p>Its touch burns my skin. </p>
  <p>What the creature doesn’t know is that I am bait. I want it to consume me. </p>
  <p>Hate burns brightly in my heart. </p>
  <p>I let go of the story that tortured me. I let go of my story of vengeance. </p>
  <p>My father would never accept the kind of person I became. </p>
  <p>I will kill Ymir not for my father, but for myself. </p>
  <p>Hate spreads along me, and I can hear the creature shrieking in pain. </p>
  <p>I can smell smoke rising from the grasses…</p>
</blockquote><p>At my side, Snoke’s emotions flared as he sensed the moment where my emotion manifested into something physical.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>So much hate, girl.</p>
  <p>So much hate and you haven’t killed Ymir...</p>
</blockquote><p>Snoke’s voice was a growl in the back of my mind. </p>
<p>I was swept up in the memory, the feeling of it. </p>
<p>Snoke <i>pressed</i>, moving deep into my thoughts in search of Ymir. </p>
<p>Memories flooded past - snippets of emotion, impressions of my experience. </p>
<p>Snoke saw the moment that Ymir held his lightsaber over my eye, commanding me to stand down. I could smell my own flesh burning under the heat. </p>
<p>Next was the memory in the Kyber crystal caves, when Ymir disarmed me, pinning me to the ground with his knee between my shoulderblades. </p>
<p>Twice I had tried to kill him, and twice it was his choice to let me live. </p>
<p>With a cry, I recoiled, stumbling backwards down the stairs. </p>
<p>The guards were watching me, impassive. </p>
<p>“You don’t think you’re strong enough!” Snoke crowed, allowing his head to tilt back. </p>
<p>He had found my weakness. </p>
<p>I was heaving for breath, feeling dizzy. </p>
<p>Snoke laughed, a raspy uncomfortable sound, “The mighty Siobhan Zhang, defiant to a fault! You doubt yourself! I didn’t think you had it in you.”</p>
<p>My lips were twisting in anger. My forearms felt heavy, powerful. </p>
<p>My lightsaber was within reach. Snoke sensed it.</p>
<p>I felt the zap of static coming an instant before the energy hit me. </p>
<p>My vision went dark, but I managed to catch myself in a crouch this time. </p>
<p>Snoke continued to laugh, “If you don’t believe in your power, then it’s useless to try anything against him. Ymir will have won before the fight even begins.”</p>
<p>I had already learned that lesson. </p>
<p>I growled, pushing myself upright. </p>
<p>“You should train yourself to overcome this fear,” Snoke sneered, “I’m playing the long game, but you need to be ready, little Sith. You have a lot of work ahead of you.”</p>
<p>I stood, uselessly trembling with rage. </p>
<p>“You’re on the right track,” Snoke said. He wasn’t reacting to my anger. He trusted that I wouldn’t move against him. </p>
<p>He was right, if I moved now, it would be suicide. </p>
<p>“Keep exploring that memory of fire. With practice, you’ll be able to summon lighting.”</p>
<p>I spent another moment glaring at him. </p>
<p>One day. </p>
<p>One day I’d be powerful enough to kill all three of them. Raj. Snoke. Ymir. </p>
<p>“I can see your determination, Siobhan. Work hard so we can both have what we want,” Snoke said, and waved his hand, “You’re dismissed.”</p>
<p>I left his audience chamber with my ears burning, my throat tight. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I stormed down the hall, my boots heavy on the stone floors. </p>
<p>The palace was just beginning to stir with morning rhythms. There were servants and service droids delivering breakfast and attending to guests. </p>
<p>I brushed past all of them, my feet taking me where I needed to go. </p>
<p>Ymir had defeated me. Snoke had used me. </p>
<p>This trip had been even more of a waste of time than I expected. </p>
<p>I thought that Snoke would tell me it was time to proceed with the coup. Instead, I came out all this way for him to tell me not to move. </p>
<p>I felt like a grunt again, waiting for orders. </p>
<p>With anger gripping my heart, I left the palace, jogging down the wet, rocky switchbacks and into the alcove. </p>
<p>My emotions needed somewhere to go. </p>
<p>With both of my lightsabers in hand, I blazed through drills and routines until I had a stitch in my side and sweat dripped down the high collar of my robes. </p>
<p>I shucked off my leather gloves and outer layers, dropping them on the black, gravelly sand. </p>
<p>I kept going, my thoughts refusing to untangle. </p>
<p>I was jealous. I felt defeated and used. </p>
<p>Impulsively, I <i>reached</i> for Ymir.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>I’m at the cliffs. Will you meet me?</p>
</blockquote><p>Ymir would be able to feel my distress.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>I will.</p>
</blockquote><p>He sounded kind. </p>
<p>I resumed my practice. The sun was glittering off the ocean waves. </p>
<p>I saw him arrive at the cliff edge, travelling along the switchbacks. I continued my drills as he made it to the bottom, striding towards me on the beach. </p>
<p>“What happened during your meeting?” he asked. Wind was whipping strands of hair across his broad face. </p>
<p>I thumbed the dials on my lightsabers, feeling the way anger made my jaw clench. “I thought Snoke was calling me out here to say he was ready to move against you,” I began, with a mean sneer, “Instead, he told me that everything’s going according to plan. He’s not intending to do anything.” </p>
<p>Then Snoke had tricked me into opening up, with the promise of developing a new Force power, but I was too proud to tell Ymir. </p>
<p>Ymir laughed, his teeth flashing. </p>
<p>He joined my side, a hand around my shoulders, “My dear, the Superior General and I have worked together for more than twenty years. He hasn’t been willing to make a move against me yet.”</p>
<p>Ymir had kissed me after a battle, then had another woman sharing his attention and his bed. </p>
<p>“I don’t like being fucked with,” I growled as I sat down.</p>
<p>“What else happened?” Ymir asked, taking a seat in the dark sand. </p>
<p>He was being patient with me.</p>
<p>I couldn’t bring myself to tell Ymir exactly how Snoke got inside my head. </p>
<p>“Snoke said he wanted to train with me, but all he did was try to get under my skin.” I had my knees gathered to my chest, staring out over the sparkling water, listening to it as it crashed against the cliffs. </p>
<p>We were silent for some time, sitting together. </p>
<p>Ymir was waiting, seeing if I would open up or not. </p>
<p>“Sometimes, I don’t recognize myself anymore,” I said, my eyes fixed straight ahead, “When you put that medal on me yesterday. I couldn’t help imagining what my father would think.”</p>
<p>Ymir moved closer, his wide hand against my back. </p>
<p>I felt my ass getting damp from the wet sand beneath me. </p>
<p>Another stretch of silence fell between us. There was more I wanted to tell him. </p>
<p>“I had nightmares after Carlac,” I finally said, “I killed my old boss. Tynne. He was out on the landing. He was firing on me, and I landed a shot, right between the eyes. I saw the moment his face disappeared.”</p>
<p>Ymir was respectfully silent for several moments, “Do you still have these nightmares?”</p>
<p>I shook my head. “I just moved on,” I told him, “Tynne was a good man. He was a tough old bastard, but he was fair. I respected him, but I didn’t hesitate to kill him.”</p>
<p>Before Ymir could respond, I turned to him with a ragged grin, “When do you plan to kill Snoke?”</p>
<p>He gave me a fiery smile. His large hand brushed along the side of my face, “You’ve never opened up to me when you’ve felt hurt before,” he said, ignoring my last comment.</p>
<p>“I’ve learned that I can’t do this by myself,” I said, “I’m sick of all these games and posturing. Do you have a plan for moving against Snoke or not?”</p>
<p>“We’ve maintained a balance in our relationship for decades,” Ymir said, with a knowing smile, “We’re both still useful to one another.”</p>
<p>I spat. </p>
<p>“I want to visit you at your home on Taris,” Ymir said suddenly, “I still have some obligations in the Core Worlds. I’ll be free at the end of the week.”</p>
<p>Ymir wanted to visit my home? </p>
<p>“Yeah… okay,” I replied dumbly. </p>
<p>“I want to see what you’ve made for yourself. We’ll have more of an opportunity to talk.”</p>
<p>“I’d like that,” I replied. </p>
<p>We returned to the suite together. </p>
<p>I felt dizzy. Ymir would be visiting my home. </p>
<p>At once I was thrilled and nervous. </p>
<p>I had fought for so long to keep my life separate and hidden from him. Was I really going to let him into my sanctuary?</p>
<p>Inside the suite, Yuri and Thess were watching some sports event on the holoprojector. </p>
<p>Servants were in Ymir’s rooms, packing his things. </p>
<p>“I’m going to join Senator Iyel,” Ymir announced. </p>
<p>Yuri rose to give Ymir an embrace. </p>
<p>“You look well Yuri. I’m glad to see how you’ve grown in the Force.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, Lord Ymir.”</p>
<p>Thess glanced up at Ymir, raising a hand to say goodbye.</p>
<p>“Siobhan and I just spoke, I’m planning to visit Taris before the end of the week.”</p>
<p>Yuri was grinning, “That’s great. I’m looking forward to it.” </p>
<p>Ymir gave me a hug, kissed me on the cheek, and left the suite. </p>
<p>I turned to Thess and Yuri, “I’m ready to leave when you are.”</p>
<p>In less than half an hour, we were back aboard Sawai. </p>
<p>I sent a message to Ahobri, letting her know we’d be home in six hours. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I could not be more happy to put Taltua behind me. </p>
<p>Thess, Yuri, and I opened some beers and played cards in the galley. </p>
<p>“How was your meeting with the Superior General?” Yuri asked. </p>
<p>He was oblivious to my plans. </p>
<p>I guessed that Yuri had heard about my intention to kill Ymir. It was no secret that were continuing the Rule of Two tradition, but Yuri and I had never spoken about it directly. </p>
<p>“Snoke just likes to fuck with me,” I answered with a grimace, putting down a card. </p>
<p>My hand was spent, but Yuri was holding his own against Thess. </p>
<p>“What does that mean?” Yuri asked, not letting me off the hook. </p>
<p>I sighed. “He’s irritated that he can’t feel my aura, so he spent the whole time digging, trying to find a way in.”</p>
<p>“What’s that mean?” Thess asked, playing her high card and ending the game. </p>
<p>“Just Force stuff,” I replied. “How was your meeting with Ymir?”</p>
<p>Yuri shrugged. “We wound up spending most of the time talking about Kylo,” he said, “That’s why I was glad to hear he’s visiting Taris. I hope to have more of a conversation with him.”</p>
<p>Me too. </p>
<p>Our playing had stalled. Thess put away the cards and brought everyone another beer. </p>
<p>“So, Ren was supposed to tell you about Adram joining Snoke’s guard?” I asked. <br/>“He was, but apparently he’s not interested in talking to me anymore.”</p>
<p>Ren knew how to hold a grudge. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Yuri,” I said, giving him a sympathetic look. </p>
<p>“I discouraged Adram from joining the guard,” Yuri admitted. His brows drew together, his twisting to the side, “That might be why Kylo didn’t tell me.”</p>
<p>“Why?” I asked. </p>
<p>I could think of a thousand reasons why it was a bad idea, but I didn’t expect Yuri to feel the same way I did. </p>
<p>“I would die for the First Order,” Yuri began. </p>
<p>Thess looked his way with concern in her eyes. </p>
<p>“I would die for Lord Ymir and the Superior General,” Yuri said, his voice hard, “I’ve gone into battle for them time and time again, but to be a part of Snoke’s guard,” he pressed his lips together, “It’s another level. You go through brainwashing. You completely give up your identity. Everything is stripped away except for devotion and service.”</p>
<p>I felt my own expression drawing in. “Early on in my training, right after Korriban, Snoke set one of his guards against me as a test,” I said. </p>
<p>Yuri’s eyes narrowed with shock. </p>
<p>“Snoke told the guard to kill me. I had my lightsaber, and he only had a pike,” I continued, “It was clear that he had no chance, but he kept pressing forward. He wouldn’t stand down. I asked Snoke to make him stop, but he didn’t do anything. Snoke put me in a position where I had to kill him.”</p>
<p>I still remembered the sound my lightsaber made as I pushed through his crimson armor. </p>
<p>Thess had a horrified look on her face. Yuri was more reserved. </p>
<p>“That’s the exact reason why I didn’t want Adram to join. It’s complete devotion and obedience.” He paused, a pained expression in his eyes, “Adram was always upset that he wasn’t as strong as Kylo. I’m worried that he did this just to prove himself, making the last sacrifice he had available.”</p>
<p>A couple of tears escaped from Yuri’s eyes. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” he said, angrily brushing them away. </p>
<p>Thess went to his side. </p>
<p>“Don’t be,” I told Yuri as Thess held him, her small arms not making it around his wide shoulders and chest, “Adram was like a brother to you.”</p>
<p>Yuri nodded, sniffing, trying to compose himself, “He must have made that decision while I was away. I’m sure that Kylo encouraged him. And I wasn’t there to say anything.”</p>
<p>
  <b>III</b>
</p>
<p>“Ymir is coming to visit,” I told Ahobri. </p>
<p>“What?!” she demanded. </p>
<p>She was in the shower. I was brushing my teeth, leaning over the sink. </p>
<p>“Ymir, he said he wanted to visit,” I repeated, raising my voice. </p>
<p>I heard the water cut off. Ahobri stepped out in a cloud of steam.</p>
<p>“When is he going to be here?” she asked, pulling a towel down from the glass wall.. </p>
<p>“At the end of the week.”</p>
<p>“Siobhan, we have to get the house ready,” Ahobri said, eyes growing wide, “Why’s he coming?”</p>
<p>“He just wants to keep an eye on me,” I replied, spitting into the sink. </p>
<p>“Do you want him here?” Ahobri asked, beginning to dry herself off. </p>
<p>“I do. We’ve barely seen each other this past cycle. Yuri’s for it too, he didn’t get the time he wanted with Ymir on this last trip.”</p>
<p>Ahobri was looking at me. I could feel her dark brown gaze searching me, wanting more of an answer. </p>
<p>“There’s some stuff we need to figure out,” I said, and Ahobri rolled her eyes at my non-answer. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>We spent the next couple of days getting the house ready. </p>
<p>Unlike when the Hutts visited, we weren’t preparing for an entourage or a conference. </p>
<p>This was something that needed to be handled much more delicately. </p>
<p>Ymir’s arrival was going to make waves. There was no way to avoid it. </p>
<p>So far, I had kept my First Order affiliations completely separate from my interactions with gangsters and criminal leaders. </p>
<p>No one flew First Order ships to my house. There were no banners, uniforms, stormtroopers, or military procedures. Yuri didn’t wear his robes or his mask. </p>
<p>People saw my lightsabers on my belt, but I hardly ever used them. It was rare for anyone to see me training. It made it easy for people to forget that I was different from them. </p>
<p>I made the announcement to my staff first so they could prepare. </p>
<p>They were more excited than I thought they’d be. They were entertainers - people born in slums, people without opportunity - and now they’d meet the head of the First Order. It made them feel special. Troye was especially excited. </p>
<p>“So we get to meet your Master,” he teased. </p>
<p>We were on the sofa, drinking wine after the meeting.  </p>
<p>“Don’t call him that,” I scowled. </p>
<p>“Only you get to call him ‘Master’?” Troye shot back, raising an eyebrow. </p>
<p>The day I called him ‘Master’ was one of the worst of my life. </p>
<p>I sighed, “You worry me especially.”</p>
<p>“Why’s that?” Troye asked, leaning forward. Wine almost spilled out of his glass. </p>
<p>“You know Ekene was his ex-boyfriend right?”</p>
<p>“Of course I do,” Troye responded with a smug little smile. </p>
<p>“Troye, I’m being serious now,” I said, looking him in the eye, “Ymir knows that Ekene was here with Ahobri. He knows that Ekene was helping me, but that’s it. I don’t want him hearing about every little thing that we were doing.”</p>
<p>“Do you think he’s going to ask me… in private?” Troye said. He was drunk. He was enjoying the opportunity to give me a hard time. </p>
<p>“You can fuck him silly if you want to,” I replied, with a dismissive wave of my hand, “But I don’t want you blabbing about Ekene’s time here, alright?”</p>
<p>Troye flopped back dramatically, fanning himself. “Hold on, I’m just going to take a moment and enjoy the thought of taking the leader of the First Order to bed,” he took a deep breath and a generous gulp of wine, “Alright, I think I can avoid talking about Ekene. The two of them together must have really been something special.”</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The next step was kicking out the hangers-on that were slumming it in my house. I had a collection of bounty hunters, gamblers, and gangster cronies that had been let in and then just never left. None of them were causing problems, so I hadn’t put any effort into kicking them out. I didn’t tell them why they had to go, I simply told them to clear out for a few days. </p>
<p>Currently, I was hosting members of Nova crew that weren’t out on assignment. There was the small collection of Hutt men that represented the Haaks and Foss branches of the family. I also had a couple of representatives from Black Sun, Kanjiklub, and Son-tuul Pride. I gathered them together once the extra people were out of the house, and explained that Lord Ymir would be arriving in a couple of days. </p>
<p>I made it clear that they wouldn’t be having any sit-downs with him. The leader of the First Order was here to visit me and Yuri for the purposes of Sith training. </p>
<p>This expectation would prevent Ymir from being mobbed during this trip. It also made sure that I maintained my standing; I didn’t want anyone to feel like they could have access to Ymir, or that they could go behind my back to lobby him about my decisions that they didn’t like. Ymir would be present and they could speak with him, as long as it wasn’t about our deals. </p>
<p>I had a sit-down with Marle to talk about increasing security. I expected Ymir would want to have a conversation with him. As usual, Marle took the information in stride. </p>
<p>My last conversation was with Euora, the day before Ymir arrived. We hadn’t really talked since my trip to Taltua, and she already knew that my lack of response meant disappointing news. She hadn’t been happy to learn that Ymir would be visiting the house. </p>
<p>I decided to join her for training. The two of us had the gym to ourselves. We warmed up on the treadmill, then spotted each other with free weights. </p>
<p>“Ymir is getting in tomorrow,” I told her, “You should get whatever you need off your chest before he arrives.”</p>
<p>I was settling onto the weight bench. Euora was wiping down her face with a towel. </p>
<p>She spat, “Why exactly is he coming here again?”</p>
<p>“I want him to be here,” I told her, “He’s my teacher... both Yuri and I... need some time with him.”</p>
<p>Euora tucked the end of the towel into the waistband of her pants, and crossed her arms over her chest. She looked down at me, “Do you still plan on killing him, or was that all talk earlier?”</p>
<p>“It’s complicated,” I admitted, “Snoke was yanking my chain on this last trip. Everything’s going swimmingly for the First Order, so he’s not willing to make a move.”</p>
<p>“Are you really waiting on Snoke?” </p>
<p>Gods, that stung. </p>
<p>I glared up at Euora, but she didn’t flinch. </p>
<p>“We’re only going to get one shot, so yeah, I want to wait until I feel certain we can pull this off.” I hated the defensiveness in my voice. </p>
<p>Euora raised an eyebrow at me. </p>
<p>“This scar on my face is from Ymir,” I told her, pointing at the raised and shiny skin over my left eye and cheek, “I’ve made two attempts to kill him, and I’ve failed twice.”</p>
<p>Euora looked far less cocky now. </p>
<p>“I’m just asking you to not cause a scene,” I said, “Be strategic. Get to know him. He’s not the man you think he is.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t know you had fought him before,” Euora said, much more gently. She took a seat next to me. </p>
<p>“He’s strong,” I told her, “The Empire was destroyed, and he was able to create the First Order from what was left. He’s not like all the other jerk-offs in their ranks. He’s the real thing.”</p>
<p>
  <b>IV</b>
</p>
<p>We would be hosting the head of the First Order, my teacher. My Master. </p>
<p>I was looking forward to having him here, showing him what I had made, but that morning I woke with fear gripping my heart. </p>
<p>Yuri and I had both agreed it was a good idea to train instead of sleeping in. He was nervous to talk with Ymir about Ren and Adram. He wanted to make sure he had pushed the Light from his heart. </p>
<p>In the predawn darkness, I carefully turned over. </p>
<p>Ahobri was in bed next to me, peacefully snoring, green headtails draped over her pillow. I didn’t know if this visit would make it easier for Ymir to hurt her. </p>
<p>I didn’t know if this was just another manipulation. Snoke had offered to teach me and had used the opportunity to press into my mind. I was letting Ymir into my house - he’d have full access to the people who were closest to me. </p>
<p>Was I making a mistake? </p>
<p>I was aching for him, ever since he had kissed me. I had to know if things had changed between us. </p>
<p>Yuri and I went through the motions of our physical practice, then I guided him through a meditation on the Darkside. </p>
<p>When I returned to my room, I showered and ordered breakfast for me and Ahobri. </p>
<p>I kissed her awake. </p>
<p>She playfully complained and pushed my face away, wanting to sleep in. </p>
<p>Soon her protests turned to moans as I crawled beneath the sheets, taking up my place between her legs. </p>
<p>I showed her care and attention, finding the places inside of her that made her toes curl and her breath catch in her throat. </p>
<p>Her orgasm was long and I relished the feeling of her muscles squeezing my fingers. </p>
<p>We took our time getting ready. </p>
<p>The rebellious part of me didn’t want to get too dressed up. I didn’t want my house to see me suddenly wearing my formal robes. </p>
<p>My outfit was simple. I wore my high-waisted, wide-legged black pants, with a small white bandeau and my favorite olive jacket. </p>
<p>The tattoos across my chest and belly would be on display. </p>
<p>Ahobri took much more care with her outfit. She wore a gauzy dress with an ombre that was deep blue at the bottom, fading to white at the top. She decided to wear the filigree armbands and headband that I bought for her so long ago. I helped her wrap her headtails in white ribbons, looping them on either side of her head. </p>
<p>I kept our welcome party small. It was myself, Ahobri, Yuri, Thess, Euora, and Marle. Yuri had dressed in a fine set of dark robes. Euora and Thess wore their usual outfits. </p>
<p>Ymir arrived in the late morning, when most of my staff was usually still asleep. I had told them to meet in the lounge if they were awake and wanted to meet him. </p>
<p>He was flying his workhorse ship, a no-frills utility vessel. </p>
<p>I stepped forward as he disembarked. He gave me a warm embrace. </p>
<p>Ymir was in his usual plain clothes. This time his half-cloak was forest green. He greeted Yuri next.</p>
<p>“I’m glad you’re visiting.” Yuri said. </p>
<p>“This is Ahobri Verbek, she’s the real one in charge,” I said, trying not to feel dread as they met. </p>
<p>“It’s an honor, Lord Ymir,” Ahobri said, making a small graceful bow. </p>
<p>“You’re a very special woman, Siobhan cares deeply about you.”</p>
<p>I watched color rising in Ahobri’s cheeks while Ymir moved on to shake Thess’ hand. </p>
<p>Then I introduced him to Euora. They were around the same height. But Euora was willowy and slender, in contrast to his large, well-muscled frame. </p>
<p>“This is Euora Lesel,” I introduced, “She’s my liaison with Nova crew.”</p>
<p>Euora nodded and shook his hand. Her naturally stern demeanor worked with Ymir. </p>
<p>“This is Marle Guerrin, my head of security,” I continued. </p>
<p>The two men exchanged a firm handshake, “Lord Ymir, it’s an honor to meet you.”</p>
<p>After the introductions, we made our way up to the lounge with everyone except for Marle. Servants took Ymir’s bags up to my floor, where there was a room prepared for him. </p>
<p>There were a surprising number of people in the lounge. Usually, no one was awake at this hour - today there were twenty, a mix of staff and people I was hosting. </p>
<p>Someone had a game up on the holoprojector. A group of people were playing cards. </p>
<p>“Everyone, this is Lord Ymir,” I introduced. </p>
<p>Troye was part of the group on the sofa. He had really gone for it, wearing a skintight white shirt with long sleeves, an equally tight pair of black pants, and a decorative purple harness around his chest. He sat up from the pile of people he was in, staring at us. He had a full face of makeup, with blue around his eyes and a glossy shade of magenta on his lips. </p>
<p>“And that’s Troye,” I said, giving him a wink. </p>
<p>I walked over to the bar, getting us all a drink before we made another round of introductions. </p>
<p>My people were awestruck. </p>
<p>They had expected an officer, a pasty older man in a fancy uniform. </p>
<p>Ymir was tall, powerful, and handsome. </p>
<p>I knew that not everyone had positive feelings about the First Order, but no one could resist Ymir’s charisma. </p>
<p>He took his time talking with people; anyone who wanted to speak with him got his attention. He learned names and asked questions. </p>
<p>My crew was able to see that I was close with him, comfortable. </p>
<p>“I see what you mean,” Euora said, during a brief moment alone.</p>
<p>Her surliness had melted early on in the face of Ymir’s interest and manners. I could see that she actually enjoyed speaking with him. He wasn’t the monster she expected. </p>
<p>Ahobri stayed with me, joining us as we circulated through the room. </p>
<p>Ymir gave Ahobri a lot of attention - asking where she was born, how she grew up. I didn’t have the feeling that he was doing anything underhanded, but I couldn’t bring myself to trust him. </p>
<p>Ahobri was just as captivated by him as I was. She enjoyed his attention. </p>
<p>Thess kept her distance. She parked herself at the card game and spoke when she was spoken to, but she didn’t try to engage with him. I wasn’t sure if Ymir made Thess nervous, or if she didn’t like him. I made a note to talk with her later. </p>
<p>After a couple of hours of chitchat, our core group headed upstairs for lunch. </p>
<p>Yuri and I wanted time alone with Ymir. Tonight there was going to be a party, everyone else could wait until then. </p>
<p>I showed Ymir the upper floor, where I lived with Thess, Yuri, Euora, and Ahobri. Ymir’s room was just a couple of doors down from me, next to my meditation room.</p>
<p>Ahobri had one of the spare bedrooms set up as a dining room. The six of us set up around the table. Ymir and I were seated across from each other in the middle. </p>
<p>Servants brought us several courses, each with a wine pairing. </p>
<p>“Siobhan, I have to admit, this isn’t what I was expecting when you told me you had a house,” Ymir said, a teasing glint in his eye. </p>
<p>“That’s all Ahobri,” I replied easily, taking a bite, “If I had been in charge, we’d just have a few chairs and a stocked bar.”</p>
<p>Ymir smiled before turning his attention to Ahobri, “It’s become clear to me just how much Siobhan cares about you. I’m grateful for the work you’ve put in to have this operation run so smoothly.”</p>
<p>Ahobri was blushing furiously again. “Thank you Lord Ymir,” she said, with a demure bat of her eyes. </p>
<p>Ymir surveyed our group. “When Matthias stepped out against the First Order, it could have been a true disaster,” he said, looking around the table. </p>
<p>Euora stiffened, but managed to keep her cool. </p>
<p>“I was impressed with how quickly everyone stepped into action. You’re a true team, and I’m sure you understand how rare that is in this world. You rose to the challenge, and came out stronger because of your hard work together,” Ymir said. </p>
<p>He was either not noticing or not caring about Euora’s reaction. </p>
<p>Ymir continued, raising a glass, “Siobhan was just at an event to recognize her efforts, but I want to take this moment to recognize all of you. Siobhan has spoken highly of everyone in this room, and she’s always quick to give others credit where it’s due.”</p>
<p>Ahobri had her glass up and was wiping a tear away. </p>
<p>“To your team and your home,” Ymir toasted. </p>
<p>We touched glasses. </p>
<p>Euora made an excuse about working as soon as the meal was over. Thess left at the same time. </p>
<p>I brought Ymir, Ahobri, and Yuri back to my sitting room. </p>
<p>This was the most relaxed I had felt all day. </p>
<p>Ahobri was in awe of Ymir. Yuri was completely devoted to him. </p>
<p>I didn’t have to pay attention to other people’s reactions here. I could let my guard down. </p>
<p>Ymir and Yuri had taken over one couch, while Ahobri and I had the other. </p>
<p>We set up the water pipe in the center of the table, casually passing the hose. </p>
<p>“So where did you and Siobhan meet?” Ymir asked Ahobri. </p>
<p>She blew a large cloud of smoke from her lungs, leaning forward to pass the hose to Yuri. </p>
<p>“We met at The Outpost. It’s a brothel on Artrix,” she replied, cool and casual. </p>
<p>“Siobhan has told me about it,” Ymir said. </p>
<p>“She washed in off the street,” Ahobri continued, flashing me a grin, “She was an absolute spitfire, always drunk, always arguing...”</p>
<p>Ymir was nodding along, a knowing look in his eyes. </p>
<p>“We worked on the same floor, and I thought she was a real asshole for an entire cycle,” Ahobri said, then paused before continuing, “One night, both of us were drunk and couldn’t sleep. We had a heart-to-heart…”</p>
<p>The story was quickly becoming surreal. On the verge of blacking out, I had opened up to Ahobri about my childhood. I had told her that Ymir came into my home to kill my father. And now we were here, in my sitting room, smoking a water pipe together. </p>
<p>“...Siobhan told me about how she grew up,” Ahobri said, glossing over the truth, “I told her about how I grew up. We came to an understanding.”</p>
<p>“We still argued every day though,” I added, taking the hose from Ymir. </p>
<p>“Yeah, that never really changed,” Ahobri teased, pinching my foot. </p>
<p>We sat around, enjoying each other’s company. We shared stories and gossip. Ymir liked talking, he entertained us just as much as we entertained him. </p>
<p>Finally Yuri cut in. </p>
<p>“Lord Ymir, I was hoping to have your ear for a little while,” he said, formal and polite. </p>
<p>“Of course,” Ymir said. </p>
<p>The two men rose to their feet. </p>
<p>“Don’t be late for the party,” I said from my place on the sofa. </p>
<p>“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Ymir replied.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As the sun set, Euora came to my rooms, buzzing in on the console. She had a bag of clothes and a make-up kit under her arm. </p>
<p>“Can I get ready with you two?”</p>
<p>Ahobri and I had just been lounging and enjoying a bottle of wine. </p>
<p>“Yeah, we haven’t even started,” I replied. </p>
<p>I poured Euora a glass. She looked excited and nervous at the same time. </p>
<p>“So that’s Lord fucking Ymir,” she said, dumping her things onto my sofa. </p>
<p>“That’s him,” I replied. </p>
<p>She took the glass from me, taking a long, grateful drink. </p>
<p>“I’ve never met anyone like him,” Ahobri said, “I think I have a crush.”</p>
<p>Euora raised an eyebrow, “Siobhan, I have so many questions for you.”</p>
<p>We took our time getting ready. It was just an excuse for us to talk. </p>
<p>Now that Euora had met Ymir, she was grilling me on my story. In between choosing an outfit and starting my hair and make-up, I told her most of the saga. </p>
<p>Euora heard how I moved to the slums on my mother’s homeworld - how I joined the street level gangs, graduating to piracy and smuggling. Euora had also been born on a First Order colony. She had turned to smuggling to escape as well. </p>
<p>I expanded on the story of joining the Resistance. I told her about the day my ship was shot out of the sky by The Finalizer. I left out the part about selling out the Resistance base and was in the middle of telling Euora about Korriban, when there was a knock on the door.</p>
<p> Thess came in, joining us in my bathroom. Ahobri was currently hogging the best mirror. </p>
<p>“I can’t find Yuri,” she said.</p>
<p>“He’s talking with Lord Ymir right now,” Ahobri said, while curling her eyelashes. </p>
<p>“I’m worried about him,” Thess said with a frown, sitting on top of one of the chairs, draped with clothes we had decided against. </p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” Euora asked. </p>
<p>“He’s upset. Kylo isn’t talking to him. He just had brother join Snoke’s guard, so he doesn’t have his brothers anymore.”</p>
<p>“I think it’s good that he gets to talk through it with Ymir,” I said, “He’s known both of them for a long time.”</p>
<p>One corner of Thess’ mouth twisted down, “He might push. He might tell Yuri not to be upset, that he’s weak.”</p>
<p>I walked over to Thess and took her hand. “I know Yuri has told you more than he’s told me,” I said, “But that sounds like Ren’s way of thinking. It’s not how Ymir talks. Ymir has never told me that I’m being weak when I’m upset.”</p>
<p>Euora was giving me a funny look but didn’t say anything. </p>
<p>“Okay,” Thess said with a nod, “I don’t like to see Yuri hurting.”</p>
<p>Thankfully, our conversation moved on to easier topics. Ahobri and I wanted to have a good time, and Thess wasn’t the kind of person to dwell. </p>
<p>By the time we made it downstairs, the usual evening festivities were under way. </p>
<p>There were a couple of bands set up in different parts of the house. The main halls were busy. </p>
<p>People had drinks in their hands, talking and smoking. </p>
<p>Everyone’s eyes were on me as I entered the room. </p>
<p>I was dressed in black, blue, and silver, with my hair flowing freely down my back. I wore a strapless black dress that flowed down to the floor - on top was an elegant, blue satin cloak that draped off my shoulders and had holes for my arms. I had covered myself in jewelry: a long pair of earrings, necklaces, bangles, and rings. On a whim, I had painted my nails black. </p>
<p>Ahobri was dressed in white. She had her cleavage pushed up and a slit in her skirt. Her heels made her just a shade taller than me. </p>
<p>This was the first time that I had seen Euora dressed up for one of my parties. She was in a simple, silver dress that trailed all the way to the floor. It showed off her slender frame, the muscles in her arms, and the length of her legs. Ahobri and I had helped with her hair, securing her waterfall of braids at the top of her head, showing off her long neck and strong shoulders. </p>
<p>All Thess had done was change clothes. </p>
<p>The house was humming because of my guest. People were talking to me, sharing their impression of Ymir. I made my way through the crowd, Ahobri at my side. </p>
<p>I found Ymir sitting in the lounge with Yuri. There was a small crowd gathered around them. People made way so I could sit next to Ymir. </p>
<p>Yuri was noticeably in a better mood. It was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. </p>
<p>Thess found us and sat in Yuri’s lap, his arms wrapped around her. Euora found a seat at the edge of the cushioned bench. </p>
<p>Ymir listened to the drunken bragging stories of gangsters and hustlers. </p>
<p>Troye came down in a gaggle of my ex-Outpost staff. He was dressed in his strappy satin number, the small corset cinched around his waist. He worked his way into our group, starry-eyed and drooling over Ymir. </p>
<p>Ymir gave him some attention - just enough for him to feel special. </p>
<p>Eventually, Ymir found an excuse to leave. He offered me his arm. </p>
<p>I followed him out of the lounge. </p>
<p>“You haven’t shown me the house yet,” he said. </p>
<p>I gave him the tour. </p>
<p>We were pulled into conversations as we walked. Drinks were put in our hands. </p>
<p>I didn’t feel like getting hammered tonight; I slowly worked on each glass. Ymir was doing the same. </p>
<p>I led Ymir through the house - the lounges, dance floors, living spaces. This place felt alive - so different from the First Order’s palaces and warships. </p>
<p>We found ourselves on one of the balconies, leaning against the railing, looking at the people partying inside. We stood in silence, arms touching, the wind rustling our clothes. </p>
<p>“You’ve really built something for yourself...” Ymir said, gazing down at me. </p>
<p>I looked up at him, my heart starting to beat faster. </p>
<p>“I’ve been talking with your people all day, and they respect you. They aren’t following you out of fear,” Ymir continued, “I had a long conversation with Yuri, and he has complete trust and faith in you. It’s different than the relationships he has with Kylo Ren and Adram. He’s learning important lessons working here.”</p>
<p>“I learn from him all the time,” I said, “Thank you. It means a lot to hear that from you.”</p>
<p>Ymir turned to me, his hand resting against the side of my face. I closed my eyes, leaning against him, longing for his touch. </p>
<p>Ymir kissed me, sweet and full. </p>
<p>We broke apart for a breath, then kissed again. </p>
<p>I melted against him. </p>
<p>When our lips parted, Ymir had a knuckle beneath my chin, gazing into my eyes. </p>
<p>“I want to share your bed tonight,” he said. </p>
<p>“Yes…” I breathed. </p>
<p>
  <b>V</b>
</p>
<p>We left the party together, hand in hand. </p>
<p>We kissed in the elevator on the way up to my rooms. </p>
<p>I was floating, at once completely in the moment, and also far removed. I felt Ymir’s lips pressed to mine, his hands traveling along my body. </p>
<p>I had been waiting for so long, I almost couldn’t believe this was real. </p>
<p>I could feel his desire. </p>
<p>Ymir growled, his hand at the side of my face, tilting my head towards him.</p>
<p>We entered my bedroom, and for a moment I was uncertain. But then Ymir had his body pressed to mine, kissing me fiercely, and all my uncertainty gave way. </p>
<p>I felt Ymir <i>reach</i> for me. </p>
<p>I was cloaked. There was nothing for him to hold onto. </p>
<p>He took a step back. </p>
<p>My room was dark. The city glittered beyond my windows. </p>
<p>I stood still in my own bedroom as Ymir turned on the lights, filling the space with a warm, golden glow. </p>
<p>He took off his half-cloak, the same one he had been wearing all day, and let it drop on top of my bed. He removed his jacket next. </p>
<p>I watched him, my heart beating quickly with anticipation. </p>
<p>“I want you, Siobhan,” he said, approaching me.  </p>
<p>His words made my knees feel weak. </p>
<p>He ran his hand through my hair. “I need you to open yourself to me,” his voice was low and smooth. </p>
<p>I looked at him, suddenly reluctant. </p>
<p>“I want to be with you, but not while you have your aura cloaked,” Ymir said. </p>
<p>My heart was racing now. I didn’t say a word. </p>
<p>Ymir ran his hand inside the drape around my shoulders, pushing it off, allowing it to crumple at my feet. </p>
<p>“I’m going to take your clothes off,” Ymir said, “You have until then to make your decision. If you won’t release the hold on your aura, I won’t continue.”</p>
<p>He wasn’t threatening me. It was a choice. I could open myself to him or not. </p>
<p>Ymir walked behind me to unzip my dress. His fingers were firm and sure. The zipper slid, exposing more skin. He pushed the dress down and helped me step out of the snarl of clothing, still in my heels. </p>
<p>My mind was racing. I wanted this. More than anything I wanted this, but Ymir would be able to see everything. He could see right into my heart - all my emotions, all my memories. Everything. </p>
<p>Tears began rolling down my cheeks as I started to release the hold I had on my aura. </p>
<p>“You’re doing fine,” Ymir said, removing my necklaces, unpinning my earrings. </p>
<p>Slowly, Ymir gently pulled the rings off my fingers, holding my jewelry in his large palm. </p>
<p>I was standing in just my heels and underwear. My nipples were hard. My body was overwhelmed, aching to feel more of him. </p>
<p>Ymir was patient and slow, as bit by bit I released the hold on my aura. </p>
<p>Ymir <i>reached</i> for me.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>My beautiful girl. I want to feel you submit to me…</p>
</blockquote><p>I gasped, half a sob. </p>
<p>Ymir was pressing into my mind. </p>
<p>Memories rose, unbidden. </p>
<p>Ymir could feel the sting of jealousy as I met Iyel, his gorgeous woman. He felt the surge of irrational hatred and the wave of shame that followed. </p>
<p>“It’s alright. I knew how you felt,” he said, kneeling, holding my hand as he helped me step out of my heels. </p>
<p>I was standing in just my underwear now, black lace clinging to my narrow hips. </p>
<p>Ymir rose and I tentatively reached for the bottom of his shirt. </p>
<p>He allowed me to lift it over his head, revealing the hair along his chest and belly. I noticed the faint scar I had given him, across the muscles of his stomach. </p>
<p>Ymir <i>pressed</i> at me as he saw my eyes flicker. He felt the tangled mix of pride, fear, and anger. I had never seen the scar before. </p>
<p>I dropped the shirt to the ground. </p>
<p>He stepped forward and we touched, skin to skin. </p>
<p>I gasped, allowing myself to release the last ounce of control I held on my aura. </p>
<p>Ymir’s hands were sliding down my hips, pushing my underwear down my legs. </p>
<p>They fell to the ground and I stepped out of them. </p>
<p>My aura was open and bright. </p>
<p>I could feel so much more of the world around me. The life of the city came into focus. I could feel the rushing energy of the party below. </p>
<p>Ymir took my hands and guided me towards the bed. He sat on the edge, directing me to stand before him. </p>
<p>“You’re so defiant, always ready to start a fight. But now… now I get to feel the way you melt,” he said.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>I need to feel you submit to me.</p>
</blockquote><p>His voice was a growl in my mind. </p>
<p>We were connected, linked through the Force. I could feel his hunger, his desire. </p>
<p>Ymir wanted me. </p>
<p>I sighed and closed my eyes, tilting my head back, basking in the sensation. </p>
<p>“Put your arms behind your back and hold your elbows,” he instructed. </p>
<p>I did as I was told. </p>
<p>My body was pliable. I was so turned on, my thoughts were already turning to mush. </p>
<p>I would do anything Ymir wanted, anything for his touch. </p>
<p>Ymir sat on the bed, drinking me in with his eyes. He took his time, examining the new scars and tattoos. </p>
<p>Occasionally, he would lean forward to touch me, looking at one of the blaster scars or the way the tattoo ink was less precise over the injury. </p>
<p>He ran a thumb across the barbells in my nipples, watching me shudder and gasp. </p>
<p>I wanted this. I wanted it so badly. Without the cover on my aura, Ymir knew it. He could feel all of it, what it meant to me. </p>
<p>He made appreciative sounds, a low growl or hum. </p>
<p>We were here. We were together. </p>
<p>Ymir idly played with my nipples, watching the way my skin stiffened under his touch, listening to my gasps and faint moans. </p>
<p>He dragged the backs of his knuckles down my sternum, over my belly, and he slid his hand between my legs. </p>
<p>I made a low cry as his large fingers brushed against my hair. </p>
<p>I was so hot. I was dripping wet. </p>
<p>“Please…” I sighed, closing my eyes. </p>
<p>It was a slow exploration as Ymir pressed his fingers between my lips. </p>
<p>He sat on my bed at arm’s length. I stood, my legs turning to jelly as he slowly pushed two fingers inside of me. </p>
<p>Ymir sighed and closed his eyes as he felt my wetness, my heat, my muscles squeezing him. He swallowed and pushed his fingers all the way inside of me. </p>
<p>“Ymir…” I groaned, a ripple of pleasure moving up my belly. </p>
<p>He smiled wolfishly, gently pumping his hand several times before retreating. </p>
<p>I cried out in agony, but then he had his fingertips against my clit, making small circles with his fingertips. </p>
<p>Soon I was sighing, panting. It was becoming difficult to remain standing. </p>
<p>Ymir put his other hand on my hip to steady me. He was sitting wide-legged on my bed with his shirt off. </p>
<p>I could feel him watching me, seeing the way my body responded to his touch. With my arms behind my back, I was completely exposed. </p>
<p>It was more than I could handle. </p>
<p>My orgasm was sudden and sharp. </p>
<p>I cried out, almost a scream, curling forward, knees shaking as my muscles spasmed. </p>
<p>Ymir wrapped his arm around me, quietly laughing as he pulled me towards him. </p>
<p>“You’ve wanted this for so long...” he teased, kissing my cheek and my neck. </p>
<p>I was still in the aftershocks of my orgasm. I kept my arms behind my back, my hands still holding onto opposite elbows. </p>
<p>Ymir nipped at one of the barbells and I trembled. </p>
<p>“I didn’t tell you you could come,” he growled, lifting me up until I straddled his waist. </p>
<p>I could feel Ymir’s cock pressing at the front of his pants. I rolled my hips against him. </p>
<p>“Not so fast,” he said, taking a hold of my hips with both hands. </p>
<p>“I want you… I want to feel you…” I pleaded. </p>
<p>“I know you do,” he growled, sliding a hand up my back and over the curve of my skull, taking a fistful of my hair in his hand. </p>
<p>I gasped under the pressure. Ymir pulled his hand up, guiding me onto my feet. </p>
<p>He bent me over the bed, his hand still in my hair, his other hand on my hip. </p>
<p>When he had me exactly where he wanted me, he let go of my hair, his fingertips tracing down my spine. </p>
<p>Goosebumps rose in a wave across my bare skin.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>You aren’t going to come again until I give you permission.</p>
</blockquote><p>He wasn’t threatening or angry. It was a simple command. </p>
<p>“Yes,” I whispered. </p>
<p>Behind me, Ymir was taking off his boots, unbuttoning his pants. He dropped the clothing to the floor. </p>
<p>Ymir put a hand on my ass, holding me still. </p>
<p>I was panting with anticipation. I turned my head, craning my neck to see him. My arms were still clasped behind me. <br/>I could feel his cock resting against me. </p>
<p>“Please…” I murmured, “Please fuck me…”</p>
<p>Ymir hummed in approval, just beginning to press inside, “That’s right. I want to hear you, Siobhan.”</p>
<p>He was stretching me. He was right at the entrance. </p>
<p>I groaned, wanting to arch into him.</p>
<p>“Please, I want to feel your cock,” I begged. </p>
<p>He didn’t move any faster. </p>
<p>Ymir had a large cock. It took a long time for him to sink into me. I moaned and growled as I felt him opening me, my muscles clenching against him. </p>
<p>It was overwhelming - feeling something that I had wanted for so long. My body was responding to sensation, the rhythm of his hips, the gripping of my muscles. </p>
<p>A wave was building inside of me, Ymir could feel it.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Not yet.</p>
</blockquote><p>“Gods!... Please!” I cried out, “You’re… filling me up… Please. I want to come…” I begged. </p>
<p>Ymir was pumping steadily into me now. I could feel every centimeter of motion. He was large enough to be painful, and I loved it.</p>
<p>He wasn’t content to just fuck me. </p>
<p>I was tense, trying to hold off my orgasm. At the same time, Ymir was putting pressure on my mind, reaching through my thoughts and memories. </p>
<p>I retreated, and Ymir stopped moving. </p>
<p>“Ymir!” I gasped, my hips bucking.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>You have to leave yourself open to me.</p>
</blockquote><p>I hated it, my anger flaring, but I opened myself anyway. </p>
<p>“That’s right,” Ymir said, pumping inside of me again. </p>
<p>He continued to <i>press</i> into my thoughts - not digging, not searching for anything; he was there because I had let him in. I wanted him. I needed him. </p>
<p>I’d do whatever he asked, just to have him. </p>
<p>I was growling with frustration, my cheeks burning red. </p>
<p>Ymir slapped my ass with the flat of his hand. Sharp pain bloomed along my flank. </p>
<p>My back teeth gritted. I was fighting the urge to come. </p>
<p>Ymir was sinking his entire length into me with each thrust. I could feel his balls slapping against my clit. </p>
<p>“Please… please, Master… Please let me come,” I babbled, my face rubbing against my sheets. </p>
<p>Ymir’s awareness was spread along my body. We were intertwined. I felt the shape of his desire, his need to feel me submit. He was going to use me however he wanted. </p>
<p>Tonight, I was his.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Come. Now.</p>
</blockquote><p>My orgasm was long, building immediately into a second orgasm as soon as the first wave started to crash over me. </p>
<p>Ymir continued to thrust inside of me, his steady rhythm drawing out the sensation. </p>
<p>I was trembling, writhing beneath him. </p>
<p>He slipped out of me, and I let out a disappointed cry as I was left empty. </p>
<p>“You can let go of your arms now,” he said. He rolled me onto my back, pushing away the clothes he had set on top of the bed. </p>
<p>He massaged the muscles in my arms and shoulders. </p>
<p>His cock jutted up from his lap, large and slick. </p>
<p>I reached out a hand, sliding down his length. </p>
<p>Ymir sighed, closing his eyes, “You’ve wanted this for so long, and I can still feel your hate burning inside of you.”</p>
<p>I sat up wordlessly, meeting his eyes. </p>
<p>I didn’t have to speak. He understood what was in my heart. </p>
<p>From the moment I had met him, I had been drawn to him. I was drawn to the thrum of the Force. I was drawn to his power. </p>
<p>I had chased it all my life, and now we were finally together. </p>
<p>Gently, Ymir guided me until I was straddling him. </p>
<p>I sank my weight down onto him. He filled me. </p>
<p>He had one hand under my ass while the other hand rested against my back. </p>
<p>I rolled my hips along his length, my chest against his and my arms around his shoulders. </p>
<p>Ymir kissed me.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>I’ve wanted this for a long time.</p>
</blockquote>He growled in my mind.<p>I ran my hands down his chest, my thumbs moving across his nipples. He began to kiss my neck as we thrust together. </p>
<p>This was a different kind of domination. I was used to violence. I was used to control. Ymir’s demand was that I stay completely open to him. That I was obedient. </p>
<p>He wanted complete submission. I let go. </p>
<p>We moved to the floor. </p>
<p>Ymir fucked me on my hands and knees, one of his hands gently wrapping around my throat. </p>
<p>In an instant, he saw the memory of me and Raj. Ymir had his hand on Raj’s throat. Ymir knew I had reached into Raj’s mind - that I had seen their passionate teenage love. </p>
<p>He barked a laugh from above me, giving my ass a sharp slap, “Of all the fucking things! You are a very bad woman…”</p>
<p>His thrusts became more forceful. He increased the pressure on my throat. </p>
<p>My thoughts were slush inside of my mind. </p>
<p>I could feel the thrill of his pleasure as he fucked me from behind, both hands gripping my ass. </p>
<p>The world disappeared. Nothing existed but our bodies.</p>
<p>Ymir found ways to draw sensation from me. I orgasmed over and over again, every time he commanded it. </p>
<p>He put me face-up on the bed again, playing with my nipples, buried in me but barely moving his hips until he drew a long, howling, trembling orgasm out of me. He watched me arch my back and buck against him. </p>
<p>We returned to the floor, on my hands and knees again. </p>
<p>Ymir understood the way my body responded to pain - the harsh feeling of my knees pressed against the wood, my hands supporting our weight. </p>
<p>He liked feeling the way I gasped as he wrapped a hand around my neck. </p>
<p>I could feel Ymir’s orgasm approaching. He was on top of me, fucking me deep, my throat resting in the crook of his elbow. My face was hot, struggling for breath, trusting him completely. </p>
<p>I orgasmed, delirious and free - my body responding to sensation. </p>
<p>It pushed Ymir over the edge. He cried out, and I could feel his cock jump inside of me. I could feel the warmth, feel him throbbing. </p>
<p>“Ymir… Ymir… Ymir…” I chanted, breathlessly.</p>
<p>“Gods!” he growled, gathering me towards him </p>
<p>We sprawled on the floor, covered in sweat, pulling in air. </p>
<p>Ymir pulled me to him until I was laying against his chest. My ear was pressed to his skin, listening to his heartbeat as he gently ran his fingertips up and down my back. </p>
<p>“Siobhan…” he murmured. </p>
<p>My eyes were closed. I could feel the rumble of my name in his chest. </p>
<p>I began to drift, moving towards sleep. </p>
<p>Ymir scooped me up into my bed and helped me underneath the covers. He turned off the lights and returned, curling up around me.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Stay open with me tonight.</p>
</blockquote><p>“You can cloak your aura tomorrow, but stay with me tonight,” he said, wrapping his arms around me. </p>
<p>“Yes,” I said. </p>
<p>I fell asleep in Ymir’s arms. His chest was rising and falling against me, steady as the ocean. </p>
<p>
  <b>VI</b>
</p>
<p>Ymir was next to me when I woke up.</p>
<p>Sunlight filtered through my tinted windows. </p>
<p>As I rolled over, I realized that he was awake, watching me with kind eyes. </p>
<p>“How long have you been up?” I asked, shifting towards him. </p>
<p>“Just a few minutes,” he answered, giving me a kiss. </p>
<p>We both had morning breath. His mouth tasted like stale wine. </p>
<p>I smiled. Even that was sweet to me. </p>
<p>I put a hand on Ymir’s chest, running through the dark gray and white hair. </p>
<p>“You’re here,” I said. </p>
<p>“I am,” he replied. </p>
<p>The morning felt like a dream. </p>
<p>I lounged around in bed, naked with Ymir. </p>
<p>We didn’t talk. We didn’t need to. </p>
<p>We communicated in other ways. </p>
<p>My heart was so full that it hurt - a contented ache that held as much joy as it did pain. </p>
<p>I had wanted this for so long. </p>
<p>It meant so much that he was still here, beside me in my bed. </p>
<p>I realized that I was cloaked again. It was an automatic reflex. I had probably cloaked myself in my sleep.</p>
<p>We stayed in bed for a long time. He held me, an arm around my shoulders, my head resting on his bicep. </p>
<p>We explored each other's bodies in the light of day. I ran my hands along his chest, the scar I had left on his belly, and down along the large muscles in his legs. </p>
<p>He grew hard beneath my touch. His head was pressed into my pillows. His long hair was messy from sleep. </p>
<p>I climbed on top of him, riding his large cock, my hands on his chest. </p>
<p>This was pleasure. This was simple. </p>
<p>I loved watching Ymir’s face as I slid along his length. He sighed, his eyes closing, his hands squeezing my ass and my hips. </p>
<p>My orgasm built slowly, patiently. There was a tremble in my low belly, my muscles tightening across my body. </p>
<p>Ymir reached for my breasts, his thumbs flicking the sensitive skin. </p>
<p>I moaned his name, repeating it over and over as his cock filled every centimeter of me. I was still sore from last night, and the pain added to my surrender. </p>
<p>“Come for me, Siobhan,” Ymir said, panting as we thrust together. </p>
<p>The shudder radiated across me, traveling from my low belly to my scalp, rushing down to my toes. </p>
<p>“Ymir!” I cried out, curling forward until my lips brushed his chest. </p>
<p>He scooped me underneath him, fucking me harder now. He was driving inside of me, greedy and urgent. </p>
<p>It was painful as he filled me. I loved it, opening myself to him. </p>
<p>“Ymir!” I gasped, my arms wrapped around his shoulders. With his hips off the bed I wrapped my legs wrapped around his waist. </p>
<p>In that position, he picked me up. My thighs were gripping his hips. He stood and pressed me against an open patch of wall next to my bed. My back was pressed against the cool plaster. Ymir’s large hands were beneath my ass, easily supporting my weight. </p>
<p>He grunted as he filled me, more animal than he was last night. </p>
<p>I yelped and writhed, pinned in place. </p>
<p>Ymir’s orgasm began as a growl, deepening until it was a rumble in his chest. I could feel his large cock throbbing inside me, then warmth as his come filled me. </p>
<p>I sighed, stroking his hair as we collapsed together. </p>
<p>Slowly, my legs draped towards the ground. His cock slid out of me, wetly pressing against my thigh. </p>
<p>I tilted my face up to kiss him, brushing a lock of hair from his face. He cradled my cheek in his hand. </p>
<p>We returned to the bed and he held me again. </p>
<p>I had wondered what Ymir would be like after sex; he could have been aloof; he could have dismissed me; he could have left in the night. </p>
<p>Instead, he was close and gentle with me.</p>
<p>We ordered breakfast. We drank caffeine and ate, naked in my bed. Ymir had a servant bring up fresh clothes. </p>
<p>We showered separately - I went first. I stood at my mirror, drying my hair, while I watched Ymir. </p>
<p>His large body was a fuzzy shadow in the rising steam. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The day moved on. We transitioned easily into our responsibilities. </p>
<p>From the console, we called Ahobri, Yuri, Euora, and Thess, to a meeting in a conference room. We would be reviewing my alliances and the direction of the underground. </p>
<p>My assumption was that everyone knew I spent the night with Ymir. We had kissed in public, out on the balcony. We had left the party together. </p>
<p>At the very least, Ahobri knew. She had slept in her own room for the first time in a cycle. She gave my hand a knowing squeeze as she took a seat next to me in the meeting. </p>
<p>I noticed that Thess was much less shy around Ymir. Yesterday she had been anxious, worried that Ymir would be cruel and dismissive towards Yuri. In the meeting, she was much less stand-offish. Yuri must have said something. I planned to talk with both of them later. </p>
<p>After the meeting, Ymir did physical training with Yuri, Euora, and I. Ahobri and Thess sat in, wanting to watch the sparring practice, hoping to see us with our lightsabers. </p>
<p>Yuri got to join in on the fun. I lent him one of my lightsabers and we put on a show. </p>
<p>Euora had a difficult time keeping her emotions in check when she sparred with Ymir. They both had long metal staves. </p>
<p>Euora had expected to hate Ymir. She despised what he stood for. She despised the First Order, but now she was starting to respect him. The tangle of emotions made her distracted and easy to predict. </p>
<p>Ymir got in front of her every move. He wasn’t aggressive. He didn’t try to provoke her. He was just one step ahead for the entire match. </p>
<p>I could feel Euora’s frustration and anger rising. She was sweating, heaving for breath, while Ymir was calm - impossibly fluid and graceful for such a large man. </p>
<p>He bested her in the first match. She asked for another, and was beaten just as easily. </p>
<p>Now Euora understood. She had given me such a hard time for not moving more quickly - now she saw why. We shared a moment of eye contact, the words unspoken between us.</p>
<p>When our physical practice was over, Ymir approached Thess. </p>
<p>“I’d like to sit in while you tattoo Siobhan. I’ll meditate with Siobhan and Yuri while you work. Would you be willing to do that?”</p>
<p>Thess thought about it for a moment, her expression drawing in. Yuri sat at her side. </p>
<p>“Yes,” Thess finally answered, looking up at Ymir with her large yellowish eyes, “I’d like to do that.”</p>
<p>First she wanted to eat breakfast. That gave us time to set up in my bedroom. </p>
<p>Servants had cleaned up; the clothes had disappeared from the floor; the sheets were changed, smooth across my bed. </p>
<p>Thess wanted to continue working on the piece that would go down my back. </p>
<p>We arranged the pallet on the floor. Thess laid out her ink block, disinfectant, and metal instrument. </p>
<p>Yuri talked with Ymir, both men sitting cross-legged.</p>
<p>“I usually let Siobhan guide me through the meditation,” Yuri explained, “We usually move pretty deeply into the Darkside. Thess can notice the difference.”</p>
<p>“It’s spooky,” she said, getting into a comfortable position on the pallet. </p>
<p>I lifted my shirt over my head and lay down on my belly. </p>
<p>“I think I only work for an hour, is that alright?” she asked, looking at Ymir with a raised eyebrow and rubbing my skin with disinfectant. </p>
<p>“Of course it is, Thess. Thank you for indulging me,” Ymir said. </p>
<p>Thess coated the needles in ink with smooth, practiced motions. </p>
<p>I was slowing my breathing down, steadying myself. Yuri and Ymir were dropping into the meditation with me. </p>
<p>I <i>reached</i> out to the two men and we dropped into the Darkside together. </p>
<p>My emotions were all stirred up after last night. </p>
<p>Ymir and I were close, bonded. </p>
<p>I was drawn to him through hate and fascination with his power. He was pulled towards me by my fearlessness and defiance, and my ability to leave myself open to pain. </p>
<p>Thess worked the needles into my skin, wiping away ink and blood. </p>
<p>The brutal physical sensation transcended into something more spiritual, a connection with the Darkside. </p>
<p>Yuri followed us as we guided him through the energy of the Force. </p>
<p>Thess was in her own meditation, her concentration absolute as she made intricately connected geometric patterns on my skin. She kept up a steady rhythm with her arm, the thumb of her other hand precisely steering the needles. </p>
<p>Ymir could feel how I softened my mind to the pain, accepting the sensation. It was red and blinding behind my eyes as Thess worked near the bones of my spine. The release and openness to it was intimate. </p>
<p>After an hour, Thess stopped. </p>
<p>We rose out of our meditation together. </p>
<p>Thess cleaned the fresh tattoo, wiping away the last of the blood and ink with disinfectant. </p>
<p>I pulled on a fresh shirt. </p>
<p>“I should be leaving soon,” Ymir said, still seated on the floor next to Yuri. </p>
<p>Thess was packing up the ink block, rolling up the pallet. Ymir thanked her again for taking the time and allowing him to share in the experience. </p>
<p>Ahobri, Yuri, Thess and Euora all said their goodbyes on the upper floor. Ymir and I rode the elevator down to the hangar alone. </p>
<p>I didn’t know if I would cry or not. </p>
<p>“I’m so proud of what you’ve built for yourself,” Ymir said, taking the side of my face in his hand, and giving me one last kiss. </p>
<p>Gazing into his warm brown eyes, I opened my aura to him again, for just a few moments. </p>
<p>Our night together had been so intimate, words couldn’t hold the experience. It had been significant for both of us. </p>
<p>We were both pulled to one another, our lives intertwined so deeply. Ymir was my teacher, and my enemy. I was his student and his rival.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>You still intend to kill me, love?</p>
</blockquote><p>I could hear the playful snarl in my head. He nipped at my lower lip.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>I do.</p>
</blockquote><p>“But Snoke comes first,” I added, with a fiery grin. </p>
<p>“I’ll watch my back,” Ymir said with a prideful smile. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>That night, Ahobri was back in my bed. </p>
<p>“What was it like?” she asked, as we curled up under my sheets together. </p>
<p>“It was beautiful,” I said, holding her hands in mine, kissing them, “I thought I’d never have him, but he wanted me, just as badly…”</p>
<p>Yuri and Thess knew what had happened between us, but neither of them ever asked. </p>
<p>Euora was not nearly so sympathetic. She asked to train alone with me the following week. </p>
<p>“I don’t get you, Siobhan,” she said, as we took a break during sparring practice, “One day you’re telling me that you plan to kill him, then the next day you’re fucking him.”</p>
<p>“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” I replied, taking a long drink of water. </p>
<p>“I agreed to work with you with the understanding we’d be moving against the First Order. So far I’m just doing the same thing I was doing under Matthias, including watching my boss taking everyone around them into bed.”</p>
<p>“You’re really pushing it, Euora,” I growled. </p>
<p>She glared at me, refusing to back down. </p>
<p>“I still plan to kill him,” I said, “Sleeping with him doesn’t change that. Now that you’ve met him, you understand how difficult this is going to be.”</p>
<p>“He’s god-damn terrifying,” Euora said, her jaw jutting forward defensively. </p>
<p>“I don’t know how I’ll be able to do this without Snoke’s help,” I said, “I’m not dragging my feet. I’m waiting for an opportunity.”</p>
<p>“I can’t have you going soft on me,” Euora said. </p>
<p>I gave her shoulder a friendly punch, replying with a ragged smile, “I fuck all my enemies. Just ask Kylo Ren.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So… in my first draft of this story, Siobhan and Ymir never have sex. In my original draft, they both take other people to bed that night and just move on. Still… it didn’t feel quite right. Now I have her hooking up with the guy who killed her dad, which isn’t quite right either, but was so much more fun to imagine. </p>
<p>So for the Siobhan/Ymir shippers, thank your lucky stars this story went through a second draft. :)</p>
<p>Next post is going to be really fun too, so stay tuned for Saturday!</p>
<p>As always, thanks so much for reading this story. I always love to hear from you in the comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Absolution</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Siobhan has come into her own as a Sith. She has established her crew and a house. She’s at the center of the criminal underground. </p><p>Her life is going smoothly, until she’s visited by a man she hasn’t seen in a very long time...</p><p>The stars are in alignment, today is my birthday(Whoo!) and this chapter has a lot of smut and fluff. Enjoy!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Babymace was absolutely amazing! She made a live-action cast for this story on <a href="https://randlebaby.tumblr.com/post/615811328352927744/bored-at-midnight-sith-acolyte-fancast">Tumblr</a>. One of my favorites is FKA Twigs for <a href="https://randlebaby.tumblr.com/post/615811394766536704/sith-acolyte-fancast-23-ahobri-verbick">Ahobri</a>. She totally called it with Troye Sivan as our lovely Troye (I had no idea if anyone would make the connection). <a href="https://randlebaby.tumblr.com/post/615811495368032256/sith-acolyte-fancast-33-rajendra-juall">Go give it a look</a>!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>Trigger Warning</b>: All acts are consensual, but there's really bad BDSM etiquette and practices in the final segment of this chapter.</p><p>
  <b>I</b>
</p><p>Another cycle passed. </p><p>My work didn’t slow down, but my life was relatively peaceful. </p><p>Nova crew had established themselves in the Galaxy, and they were bringing in their own profits without having to rely on the Hutts any more. </p><p>Sul and I had developed a strong relationship. He was the rising star in his family, gaining an extra edge from the information I slipped to him. He had made good on his offer to use his power and influence against the New Republic, and as a result he was raking in more money. </p><p>After some initial scuffles and small battles, the criminal organizations that didn’t want to go into business with me were pushed to the fringes. Without me, they didn’t have standing. They didn’t dare to strike back. </p><p>For the first time, the Sith were active participants in the Galaxy. Palpatine and Vader had hidden in the shadows - bogeymen that only emerged for war. Ymir and I were out in the open. </p><p>People knew me. They knew where I came from. I hosted the criminal underground in my house. I made diplomatic trips. People sat in the same rooms as me. We talked face-to-face. At first, many were skeptical, but now they understood that I was one of them. </p><p>As the First Order continued to grow and expand, it made people feel safe to know they had my ear, that I would do business with them. </p><p>For Ymir, I was his liaison to the underground. For everyone else, I was the liaison to the First Order. </p><p>The money poured in. </p><p>Ahobri adapted to the new level of responsibility, walking in Jukhara’s footsteps. She kept on top of all the deals and kickbacks, the massive, tangled web of connections and favors that we had established. </p><p>Because of Ahobri, Taris became the pearl of the Outer Rim. She continued to develop her relationships with Ekene’s friends. My house was filled with interesting people. We had performers and artists of all stripes coming through to visit. I also hosted sports stars and prize fighters. </p><p>People were reaching out to us to offer entertainment. Singers and dancers wanted to be seen at my house. Fashion designers wanted to dress us. </p><p>Along the way, Ahobri and I shared our bed with very interesting people. I developed a long-running thing with Zaine Sato, a champion prize fighter connected with the Hutts. He was a handsome man. He could keep up with Ahobri and me. He never asked questions. </p><p>Ahobri was carrying herself differently these days. She learned how to wield her newfound power. She learned how to play the game of attention, making people jump through her hoops. She liked being important. She liked this new life.</p><p>She and Ekene continued their fling from a distance. He invited her out to parties in the Core Worlds. On very rare occasions he made an appearance at my house, staying with us for a day or two before heading back to his regular life.  </p><p>Thess and Yuri’s relationship was growing more serious. </p><p>She had taken him to meet her family on Fedje. Yuri was introduced as a fellow soldier. </p><p>For their safety, Thess hadn’t revealed that she worked for me, or that she was involved with the Knights of Ren. It could cause trouble for her family if people knew they were associated with me. Thess maintained the white lie that she was employed by a First Order officer. She had been giving her family enough money to stay afloat, but not enough to make other people suspicious. </p><p>Yuri returned to the house glowing from the experience. He was opening up to being part of a larger family. For so long, it had just been Ren and Adram. The more time Yuri spent away from Kylo Ren and the First Order, the more layers of his personality were revealed. </p><p>Because of Yuri, I had a regular practice with the Force. Without him, I knew I wouldn’t have the discipline. We did physical training with Euora, practicing armed and unarmed combat. Every now and then we’d work with Marle and the security team. </p><p>Yuri and I meditated together almost every day. As time passed, he found the freedom to make his own path. His true connection was to the Light. He was able to empty himself and become a passive vessel for the warm, encompassing energy of the Force.  </p><p>In their own separate ways, both Ren and Ymir had told Yuri that the Light side of the Force was weakness, a liability. But I found it helpful and grounding. I liked working with him. I liked the feeling of balance, each of us exploring different aspects of the same energy. At his side, I continued to delve into the expansive void of the Darkside. </p><p>Through the long hours of meditation, Yuri began to feel the imbalance too. </p><p>Sometimes, I was able to sense the energy of the Kyber crystals on Starkiller Base, thousands of lightyears away in the Unknown Regions. I heard their pained and mournful cries, and I felt the rising energy of the dark. </p><p>Throughout all of this, Thess was Yuri’s rock. </p><p>He only had experience in a monastery and the military. She helped him adjust to this new kind of life. At Luke’s Academy, had been made to feel like a monster for exploring the Darkside. After they destroyed the Jedi Academy, he was an outcast, an enemy of the Resistance, a pariah to his family. For Yuri, it had felt like it was him, Ren, and Adram against the world. </p><p>Now he was able to see more possibilities. </p><p>Ahobri, Euora, and I had a betting pool for when he and Thess were going to get married. My guess was sometime in the next two cycles. </p><p>Thess had been an unexpected help as I developed my relationship with the Force. Her tattooing had become a key part of my meditations. </p><p>We shared so many hours together. It was a kind of intimacy that I had never experienced with another person. I would lay on the pallet, vulnerable and pliable as Thess tattooed patterns onto my skin. </p><p>She caused me agony, working the needle-end of the instrument into my sensitive skin. She felt how I breathed through it. The pain was an anchor, a focus point. It was a long and slow lesson to stay open and not close myself off during difficult experiences. Tattoos spread their way down my back and up my neck and began to travel down my legs. </p><p>I was also exploring the ability to summon lightning. </p><p>It took some time for me to come around to it, because my last experience with Snoke had left a bad taste in my mouth. I suspected that his only intent was to trick me into letting my guard down. Yuri and I talked about the mechanisms for summoning lightning from the air. It was an unpredictable and dangerous skill that took many years to master. </p><p>As I poured myself into the Darkside, I chased glimmers and wisps of energy. I practiced pulling energy towards me. There were close calls in my meditation chamber. I successfully made the lights flicker a couple of times. </p><p>My best attempt at summoning lightning was a disaster. </p><p>Thess had been working on a design that spanned my mid-back and ribs. It was extremely painful, and I had drifted deep into the Darkside. The unrelenting pain was a focus point. I chased threads of power, drawing it to myself. </p><p>For one fleeting moment, I thought I had grasped it. There was a burst of static and Thess was recoiling in pain. The shock had travelled from my body along the metal instrument. </p><p>Thess walked away with a burn on her thumb. The wooden handle had saved her other hand.  She was left with a small scar to mark the experience. </p><p>I felt terrible. I was ashamed of myself for hurting her. </p><p>I apologized many times. </p><p>Thankfully, she understood it was an accident and didn’t hold a grudge, but it was many weeks before she expressed any interest in tattooing me again. The experience put me off the practice for a long time. When I resumed, I made sure to be alone in my meditation chamber. My fear made it harder to make progress, and all of my other attempts were failures. </p><p>The Darkside still taunted me. If I gave myself over to it, surrendered myself completely, I would have unlimited power. I would have the strength to overthrow Snoke, to defeat Ymir - but I knew I would lose myself in the process. </p><p>At the same time, my relationship with Ymir had deepened. Now that my identity was out in the open, I had assumed a much more public role as his acolyte. </p><p>Kylo Ren represented the military - he represented the corrupting power of the Force, the legacy of Luke and Leia twisted and used against them. I was something different, the new face of the Sith. </p><p>I began joining Ymir as he negotiated with the New Republic. I showed up at council meetings on his arm in my Sith robes. We leveraged our strength to gain territory and make favorable trade deals. </p><p>The New Republic was reeling from the heists my organizations pulled against them. Sul was more than happy to be aggressive, starting turf wars over the Spice trade. From the outside, it looked like I had made a simple power grab, just like Darth Maul had done so many decades ago.</p><p>We had successfully created a smoke screen for our activities in the Unknown Regions. The New Republic hadn’t developed relationships with the criminal organizations that operated within her borders, and it left them vulnerable. These groups had flocked to me because I offered them exactly what they wanted, money and autonomy, within my oversight. </p><p>Ymir and I only slept together that one time. There was an unusual feeling of contentment in our relationship. I was his acolyte, serving as one of his arms, shaping the distribution of power through the Galaxy. </p><p>The waters were still between us. We had found our balance. </p><p>My interactions with Snoke and Raj were incidental. We crossed paths a couple of times at state events. They never had new orders for me. Everyone was getting exactly what they wanted; there was no reason to take drastic action.</p><p>After meeting Ymir, Euroa understood why I was moving so slowly. Every now and then, we would talk strategy, but our conversations never went anywhere. </p><p>I had total access to Ymir, Snoke, and Raj. I could arrange a meeting alone with them anytime, but any attempt to kill them would destroy everything that I had built. </p><p>For once, my decisions affected more than just me. </p><p>When I moved against the First Order, we would all become fugitives. Everyone who was associated with me in any way would become a target. </p><p>Ahobri would have to go on the run. </p><p>I would be putting Thess in harm’s way. I didn’t know how Yuri would respond, and I worried that he might turn against us. My choices could destroy his relationship with Thess. </p><p>Another sticking point was Kylo Ren. Neither of us had talked or even seen each other since that last time on The Finalizer. I didn’t want to involve Ren, but if I carried out my plan to  kill the leaders of the First Order there was no way to avoid it. </p><p>Once I took down Snoke and Ymir, Ren would become the de facto leader of the First Order. And my enemy. I couldn’t imagine a scenario where I could bring him with me. Killing him was unavoidable, but I didn’t want to do it. We were too close. Even though we weren’t speaking, he was still a fellow acolyte.</p><p>I was slowly working on Yuri, seeing if I could nudge him towards my side. I didn’t ever talk about my plans outright, but I told Yuri about my first experience in the Kyber crystal caves. I shared my vision of blood and death. </p><p>As Yuri practiced with the Light, he could feel the imbalance in the Force. Together, we explored the sensation. I knew that it bothered him too, but he stuck to his position of loyalty to Ymir, Ren, and the First Order. </p><p>Together, we were unstoppable. If nothing changed then, one day, the Dark would swallow the Light. </p><p>
  <b>II</b>
</p><p>Yuri and I were meditating in the chambers while Thess tattooed me.  </p><p>I was lying on my side, cradling my head on my arm as she worked on my right thigh. </p><p>Both Yuri and I were drifting deep in meditation when I felt a tug of familiarity at the edge of my awareness. Right as I began to explore the sensation, there was a sharp knock on the door. </p><p>I fought the urge to flinch at the sudden sound. Thess stopped working. </p><p>Yuri got up to open the door and found Euora outside. Her eyes were bright. </p><p>“Kylo Ren just contacted us,” she said, “He’s in atmosphere and requesting permission to land.”</p><p>I looked to Yuri in confusion. Ren? Here? </p><p>Yuri shook his head, just as surprised as I was. </p><p>I wasn’t fully removed from the meditation. I <i>reached</i> beyond myself, sensing Ren’s rigid, crackling energy. </p><p>“What do you want me to do?” Euora asked. </p><p>I realized that no one had responded to her.</p><p>I shook my head, bringing myself into the world, “He can approach. I don’t know about letting him inside yet, but give him a spot on the landing.”</p><p>Euora passed the message along on the console. </p><p>“Do you have any idea why he’s here?” I asked Yuri. </p><p>“No. I haven’t heard from him since The Finalizer.” </p><p>Thess was sitting cross-legged, cleaning the needle end of her instrument by wiping the blood and ink onto a towel. </p><p>“Does Ahobri know?” I asked Euora. </p><p>“Not yet,” she answered, “I figured I’d take it straight to you.”</p><p>“Let her know. And let Marle know I’ll handle this. We’ll give him a welcome party,” I said, with a grin. She nodded and left.</p><p>There was an edge of excitement and tension in the room. </p><p>I wasn’t worried at all. This was going to be interesting. </p><p>I wore a simple robe for the tattoo session. I wrapped it around myself, and threw my belt with my lightsabers over my shoulder. </p><p>I left the room with Thess and Yuri. </p><p>Ahobri and Euora joined me in the landing entrance. </p><p>“Kylo Ren is coming here?” Ahobri asked, giving me a confused look. </p><p>“We have no idea why,” I said easily, “Yuri and I haven’t talked with him.”</p><p>We stepped outside as Ren made his approach. </p><p>He was flying a First Order command shuttle. That ship probably had the attention of the whole city by now. There were never First Order ships over Taris. </p><p>I found myself smiling as I watched him touch down. My arms were crossed over my chest. </p><p>It was a gorgeous day, by Taris standards. The sky was a hazy mix of beige, yellow, and orange. The sun warmed my neck and shoulders as the wind pulled at my hair and robe.  </p><p>“What do you want me to do?” Euora asked. </p><p>“Nothing. I’m going to wait and see what he has to say,” I replied. </p><p>Ren’s ship landed and the engines began cooling off. It was several moments until the ramp lowered. </p><p>He walked out alone, dressed in his black robes with his hood and mask covering his face. </p><p>I was watching him with a smile, my lightsabers hanging off my shoulder, ready for anything. </p><p>I could feel Yuri’s strained anxiety. Ren was his brother, but they hadn’t spoken in cycles. </p><p>When Ren reached the bottom of the ramp, he lifted his hands up to remove his mask. I listened to the familiar hiss and rattle of fasteners, barely audible over the wind. </p><p>Ren tucked the mask under his arm, gazing at our crowd of five. </p><p>“What’s your business?” Euora barked. </p><p>I reached out a hand to steady her. </p><p>Ren locked eyes with me. </p><p>It had been ages since we had seen each other, much less talked. </p><p>We spent a silent moment studying each other. I had changed. Ren still looked the same. He was pale, with long black hair whipping across his face. </p><p>“I’m here to make things right between us,” he announced, projecting his voice over the wind. </p><p>I made a curling smile. He had my attention now. </p><p>I approached him with a smug look on my face, a little sway in my hips. The belt with my lightsabers hung casually over my shoulder. </p><p>I strode in close, eyeing him up. </p><p>Ren looked incredibly uncomfortable. He looked at me with his eyes like black pools. I could see the faintest twitch of discomfort at the corner of his eye, the corner of his mouth. He wasn’t the kind of man who put his pride on the line. </p><p>I didn’t mind making him squirm for a few seconds. </p><p>“You’re here to make things right between us?” I repeated, resting a hand on my hip. </p><p>“I am,” he answered, his voice low and stilted, “With you and Yuri.”</p><p>His eyes flicked up to the small crowd behind me. </p><p>I kept my eyes on Ren, looking up at him. </p><p>“Okay, you can come up for a conversation,” I said, “I’m going to have one of my people hide your ship in a hangar. We’re not used to seeing First Order ships around these parts.”</p><p>When I turned around, I saw a crowd had gathered in the hall, staring out the glass at my surprise visitor.<br/>
Ahobri noticed my gaze and left our group, clearing out the spectators. </p><p>I motioned for Ren to follow me inside. </p><p>I stopped in front of Yuri. Wordlessly, Ren took in Yuri’s new appearance.</p><p>Yuri also looked different from the last time Ren had seen him. He had grown out his hair. His buzz cut was now a mop of brown waves, curling past his ears, with a beard to match. The scattering of white and silver hairs was a mark of Yuri’s difficult life, betraying his kind and easy-going attitude. </p><p>“Let’s go have a sit-down,” I said to Yuri, tilting my head towards the house. </p><p>Thess was watching us with a careful, guarded expression as the three of us headed inside. </p><p>At first, Ren had scared her and she had avoided him. In her time with Yuri she had learned more about Ren and his Knights, how they had influenced Yuri, and now her sentiments had shifted towards outright dislike. </p><p>I entered the house with Ren and Yuri at my side. </p><p>This was going to be a fucking spectacle. </p><p>I loved it. </p><p>Ahobri had cleared the gaggle of people from the outer hall. Now they were moving through the house, spreading the news. </p><p>We strode down the hallway aloof, not reacting to the attention. </p><p>It was a straight shot to the elevator. Once the doors closed around us, Yuri was the first to speak. </p><p>“What are you doing here?” he asked, looking at Ren like he was a ghost. </p><p>Ren was uncomfortable and standoffish, “I wanted to see you again. Both of you,” he said. </p><p>I felt Yuri struggling with his response, the same way Ren was. “It’s good to see you,” he said earnestly. </p><p>They didn’t have the kind of relationship where they talked about their feelings. </p><p>The elevator dumped us out onto my floor and I waved Ren past the security droids. </p><p>“We’ll go to my room,” I said leading the way. </p><p>I waved Ren past the final security droid outside and entered my sitting room. I dropped my lightsabers over the back of a chair and gestured for the men to make themselves comfortable.</p><p>“I’ll be right back,” I said, dipping into my bedroom. There were still a few people still in my bed. Zaine was in town and I had spent the night with him and a few of my girls. I needed to kick them out so we didn’t have an audience. </p><p>There was no telling what was going to happen with Ren here. But it gave me a small thrill to have Kylo Ren coming in unannounced, staying that he wanted to make things right. </p><p>“You gotta get up. I’m kicking you out,” I said cheerfully, shaking the blankets. </p><p>Shera and Baasdel knew the drill, sliding out of bed and gathering up their clothes. They dressed and left together.</p><p>Zaine was complaining, “I just need another hour…”</p><p>I took a seat next to him in bed, running a hand down his well-muscled back.</p><p> “I know. It’s hard,” I teased, gently rocking him, “But I need you to get the fuck out of here for a few hours.”</p><p>He was the best prize fighter in the Galaxy, with dozens of championship titles. But he knew I was stronger than him. He knew better than to push it with me. </p><p>With much grunting and fanfare, Zaine got out of bed, picking up his pants from the floor, leaving them slung low around his hips. He draped a shirt over his arm, not bothering to put it on. </p><p>I followed him out, ushering Zaine past Ren and Yuri in my sitting room. </p><p>His expression twisted with surprise when he caught sight of Ren. “Who’s that?” he asked.</p><p>Zaine didn’t know Ren’s face, but he recognized the robes and the mask. </p><p>“That’s Kylo Ren. It’s official Sith business,” I said with a smile, quickly pushing Zaine out the door. </p><p>It slid shut behind him. </p><p>“Why does he look familiar?” Ren asked, with a droll, familiar stare. </p><p>“That’s Zaine Sato,” Yuri explained, “He’s a prizefighter for the Zuffa ring.”</p><p>I took my chair with a smug smile, resting my ankle over my knee. </p><p>“Hm,” was all Ren had to say. He paused like he was about to ask a question, then decided against it. </p><p>It was probably for the best. </p><p>“Alright, Ren, what do you want?” I asked, intent on giving him a hard time. </p><p>He had showed up out of the blue like he just expected us to take him in. I wasn’t going to make it easy on him. </p><p>Ren took a breath. “I don’t know where to begin,” he admitted.</p><p>He was stiff and anxious. He was leaning forward, elbows on his knees, gloved hands clasped in front of him. Several emotions flickered across his face. I watched the pull of a muscle in his jaw, the twitch in his lips. </p><p>I enjoyed watching him squirm.</p><p>Ren took a deep breath, “I’ve been hunting for the map to Luke, and I’ve had a lot of time to think.” He paused again, his mouth twisting down, “I’ve missed both of you...”</p><p>Yuri was looking at Ren like he was a mirage. He had been waiting for this moment, but it was too much to hope for. Ren wasn’t known for making apologies. </p><p>“I’ve never felt this alone,” Ren continued with a frown, his eyes intensely focused on the floor. His hands were tightly interlaced. He looked up, meeting my eyes, “I realized that I pushed both of you away. I want the chance to fix things between us.”</p><p>Fuck. I didn’t know he had it in him. </p><p>Still, this meant more to Yuri than it did to me. They were the closest thing they had to family. </p><p>“Kylo… you’re my brother,” Yuri said, putting a hand on his shoulder. </p><p>Ren looked over at him, fighting to keep his composure. </p><p>“You two should talk,” I said, rising to my feet, “Stay here, I need to make sure the gossip stays at a low simmer.”</p><p>Ren looked up at me, painfully earnest, “Siobhan, I wanted to talk with you too…”</p><p>“You’ll get your chance,” I replied easily. </p><p>I returned to my bedroom to put on actual clothes - a loose, sleeveless shirt, leggings, and a pair of boots. </p><p>When I came back out, Yuri and Ren had turned towards each other on the couch. </p><p>“...what’s the new lead on the map?” Yuri was asking. </p><p>“I was searching the Temple of Eedit,” Ren answered, looking towards me. </p><p>I lifted my belt and lightsabers off the back of the chair. “Take your time,” I said, “You can find me when you’re done.”</p><p>I left my sitting room, heading down to the main lounge. </p><p>It was late afternoon. Everyone was awake. </p><p>The drama had sent a wave of buzzing excitement through the house. </p><p>My instincts were right. I found Ahobri, Thess, and Euora there doing damage control. </p><p>Thess looked unhappy. She had a drink in her hand and was sitting at the end of the cushioned bench. I took a seat next to her. </p><p>All eyes were on me. </p><p>“Where’s Kylo?” she asked, eyes narrowing. </p><p>“He’s talking with Yuri,” I said. </p><p>“I don’t like him here,” Thess scowled, taking a drink.</p><p>Troye was chatting with Zaine at the bar - both of them were watching me. Ahobri made her way over to me and took a seat on a low, cushioned otoman. </p><p>“What’s the word?” she asked. </p><p>I wasn’t used to Thess being in a surly mood, so I kept my attention on her. “I actually think Ren is here to apologize,” I told her, glancing towards Ahobri afterwards. </p><p>Thess frowned, “Do you believe him?”</p><p>I shrugged, “You can ask Yuri after they talk,” I said, “He seemed pretty sincere.”</p><p>Zaine wasn’t in the mood to be ignored. He dropped by my group on the bench, wrapping his arms around my shoulders from behind. His shirt was on. His dark spiky hair was still tousled from sleep. </p><p>I craned my neck towards him, raising an eyebrow as he kissed my cheek. </p><p>“So what’s all the excitement about?” Zaine asked. </p><p>Troye took a seat on the back of the bench, crowding in next to me and Thess, “Yeah, what’s going on?”</p><p>“It’s just work,” I said, wanting to tamp down people’s imaginations. </p><p>“Where is he? Are we going to meet him?” Troye asked. </p><p>“He’s talking with Yuri,” I replied, “You’ll probably meet him at some point.”</p><p>Troye was going to lose his mind once he realized the ‘pilot’ he had been carrying a torch for was actually Kylo Ren.  </p><p>Once Troye and Zaine came over, everyone began dropping by to ask questions. Ahobri, Euora, and I fielded them, giving people the most boring answers possible. </p><p>Thess was like a little stormcloud. She left the crowded group in a huff, inserting herself into a card game. It was rare to see her so upset. </p><p>I was stuck playing diplomat for a while, in a circle with Euora and Ahobri.  </p><p>As soon as there was an opening I left the group, grabbing a stiff drink for me and Thess on the way. </p><p>She was embroiled in a card game, an intense look of concentration on her face, a stack of chips by her elbow. Everyone else at the table looked hopeless. </p><p>“Hey, come with me,” I said. </p><p>Thess played what was obviously a winning card, scooped up her winnings, and knocked back the drink. We left the lounge together. </p><p>“Okay, tell me what’s going on,” I said, steering her into one of the offices with a view over the city. </p><p>Thess took a seat while I poured her a fresh drink. </p><p>“I don’t like that he’s here,” Thess said, her knees curling up to her chest. </p><p>“He’s having a heart-to-heart with Yuri. I really think he’s here to apologize,” I said, taking the seat across from her. </p><p>“Kylo isn’t good for Yuri!” Thess exclaimed, tears suddenly spilling over her lower lids. </p><p>I was taken aback. Thess wasn’t the kind of person that cried easily. I opened my mouth to comfort her, but she had more to say. </p><p>“Kylo is cruel. He’s hurt Yuri over and over. I don’t care if he apologizes!”</p><p>Oh shit. </p><p>“Do you want to talk with Ren?” I suggested, not knowing if it was a good idea. </p><p>Thess took a large gulp of her drink, “He still scares me.”</p><p>“I’m not going to let him hurt you,” I said, “So think about it. If you have something you need to get off your chest, this might be the best opportunity to tell him.”</p><p>If Ren was actually here to fix things, then he’d have to deal with the consequences. Including Thess.</p><p>“I think about it,” Thess replied. </p><p>“Stick with me and Ahobri,” I told her, “I have your back.”</p><p>“Will you make him leave?” Thess said, fixing me with her large yellow-ish eyes. </p><p>“Let’s give him a chance,” I began. </p><p>Thess sighed heavily, her jaw tightening with frustration. </p><p>“Hold on,” I said, “If he does anything I don’t like then he’s getting the boot, but let’s wait and see how Yuri feels.”</p><p>Thess gave me a grudging look and shrugged. </p><p>***</p><p>Yuri and Ren were away for hours. I gave them their privacy. </p><p>There was still work to do. I had small meetings and conversations over comms. </p><p>Ahobri and I helped to keep Thess from spiraling. She knew much more about Yuri and Ren’s relationship than I did, and she was protective of him. </p><p>Late afternoon gave way to evening. I wondered if Ymir knew that Ren was here. I had no idea how long Ren planned to stay. </p><p>My house came alive at night, and I already knew that there would be gawkers coming to see Kylo Ren - both Sith acolytes in the same place. </p><p>I brought Ahobri, Euora, and Thess up with me to get ready for the party together. They gathered up clothes from their rooms. </p><p>Yuri and Ren couldn’t still be on my sofa. Thess hadn’t seen them in her rooms. </p><p>We found them in the gym. I told everyone else to keep going, and joined the two men.  </p><p>They were sparring with simple metal staves. Ren had dropped the outer layer of his robes, and his mask was off. His long black hair was sweaty, sticking to the sides of his face. </p><p>Thess might want Ren gone, but I liked the idea of fucking him again. It had been a long time, and there was a part of me that still wanted him in my bed. </p><p>“Siobhan,” Yuri greeted, holding up a hand. They stopped. </p><p>Yuri looked so much more relaxed. There was a new kind of light in his eyes. </p><p>“How’s everything going?” I asked, leaning against the wall. </p><p>Yuri answered, “It’s good. Sorry for not being more social.”</p><p>Ren pushed his hair back. His eyes traveled along my body. Almost all of my tattoos were new for him. He had only seen the first one Thess had made for me on the Finalizer.</p><p>“Don’t worry about that,” I said, “People are having all the fun they need, just by speculating.”</p><p>“Siobhan, I want to talk to you-” Ren began. </p><p>“You’ll have to wait,” I replied with a smile, “There’s going to be a party starting downstairs and I’m getting ready with the girls.”</p><p>Ren was deflated. </p><p>“You two should shower and dress up,” I added, “Come meet me in my rooms when you’re ready.”</p><p>
  <b>III</b>
</p><p>Back in my rooms, Ahobri had music playing and a couple of bottles of wine opened. Everyone’s clothes were dumped on top of my bed. </p><p>“How’re the boys?” Ahobri asked, handing me a glass. </p><p>“Yuri looks happy,” I said, looking towards Thess. </p><p>She shrugged and looked to the side. </p><p>“I told them to get ready for the party, and stop by my rooms when they’re done,” I said, “So if you want to talk to Ren, you can tell him when he gets here.”</p><p>“I’m still thinking,” Thess said. </p><p>“Is he staying here?” Euora asked, sprawled out in a chair with her drink. </p><p>“Unless he fucks something up, I think he’s staying tonight at least,” I replied, pushing clothes over so I could sit on top of my bed. </p><p>“Speaking of that…” Ahobri said, taking a seat next to me. She gave me a look.</p><p>“I mean, knowing us, probably,” I replied. </p><p>“I’m with Thess,” Euora said, “I don’t like that he’s here.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Thess replied. </p><p>“Look, I get it, he’s not very nice,” I said, taking a drink, “But I haven’t said a word to him in over two cycles, and I’m willing to hear him out before I make up my mind.”</p><p>Thess and Euora didn’t argue. </p><p>We moved our conversation along and began to enjoy ourselves, talking and drinking wine together. </p><p>It took longer than I expected for Yuri and Ren to join us. </p><p>Yuri lead the way, knocking on the doorframe outside my bedroom, “Ready for company?” he called out. </p><p>“We’re decent!” Ahobri called. She and I were in the bathroom, sharing the mirror. Thess and Euora were already done, drinking wine on top of my bed. </p><p>I peeked out to watch Ren and Yuri enter. </p><p>Both men looked handsome. </p><p>Yuri had trimmed his beard, shaping it to better fit his face. He wore a rich blue tunic and a crimson half-cloak wrapped around his shoulders. He joined Thess on top of the bed. She smiled as he took a seat and he kissed her, his eyes sparkling. </p><p>Ren was in civilian clothes, still wearing all black. I had no idea if these were his clothes or something Yuri had tracked down. His pants were tight and his jacket and sleeves were rolled up his forearms. He had his hands in his pockets, looking incredibly uncomfortable. </p><p>I decided to play host. </p><p>“So, you two only met briefly, but this is Euora,” I said, handing Ren a glass of wine. </p><p>“Where did we meet…?” Ren said, looking at her. </p><p>Euora had a testy thin-lipped smile, “On your ship,” she replied, “Don’t you remember me?”</p><p>“It was after the battle with the Smuggler’s Alliance,” I said, steering Ren towards a chair. </p><p>He was looking at her, trying to figure out what he was going to say. </p><p>Ahobri swept out of my bathroom, her make-up almost done. She offered him a hand, “I’m Ahobri Verbek.”</p><p>Ren shook it, “I know you from Artrix, don’t I?”</p><p>“That’s right,” she said with a prim smile. </p><p>“Troye is also here,” I replied, my hand resting on Ren’s shoulder, “And he still has a crush on you.”</p><p>“Do you think we should prepare him?” Ahobri asked, giving me a wink. </p><p>“It’ll be more fun if we keep it a surprise,” I replied. </p><p>“I agree,” she teased, patting Ren’s knee.</p><p>“I think I’ve heard everyone’s version of the night you and Siobhan went to The Outpost,” Yuri added helpfully. </p><p>“That’s wonderful,” Ren grumbled. He looked over at me, sliding his hand up my arm, “You look beautiful.”</p><p>I had gotten myself all dolled up in red. I was wearing a tight skirt, with a slit that went all the way up my thigh, and a strappy black top that pushed my tits up. </p><p>“I’m not even done yet,” I said, kissing his cheek. My feet were bare, and I wasn’t done with my make-up or jewelry. </p><p>Ahobri and I went back to the bathroom to finish. </p><p>I could hear Yuri making conversation beyond the open door. </p><p>“So, I sent Zaine away,” Ahobri said, keeping her voice down as she finished her eyeliner, “I told him that you were about to head out on assignment and you’d get back to him.”</p><p>I made a sigh of relief, “Gods, you’re perfect.”</p><p>“I know, love,” she said, smiling at me in the mirror. </p><p>The more I thought about it, the more I was looking forward to spending the night with Ren. </p><p>“We’re ready!” I announced, strutting out of my bathroom with Ahobri. </p><p>Ren was watching me with hungry eyes, his knees wide apart, a wine glass resting on his thigh. </p><p>Yuri had Thess sitting in his lap, lounging with Euora on my bed. </p><p>Ren reached for my hand, drawing me towards him, “Can we talk before we go downstairs?” </p><p>His eyes were dark pools and I was ready to sink into them. </p><p>“I want to talk to you,” Thess said, straightening up, staring intensely at Ren. </p><p>He looked over at her in surprise. Yuri was also caught off-guard by the request. </p><p>“About what?” Ren asked. </p><p>“I want to talk to you,” Thess repeated. Her voice was firm and left no room for argument. </p><p>I could tell she had been drinking, but at the same time, she didn’t seem drunk, or at least not drunk enough for me to want to stop her.</p><p>“Um, okay,” Ren responded hesitantly. </p><p>Thess was standing up. Yuri had a hand out to her, but she ignored him. </p><p>I decided to make an invisible intervention.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>She’s going to talk to you about Yuri.</p>
</blockquote><p>I said in Ren’s mind.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>You are going to be respectful to her. If you can’t manage that, I’m kicking you out.</p>
</blockquote><p>He stood up. “Let’s talk, then,” he said to Thess. </p><p>“Follow me,” she replied, leading the way out of my rooms.</p><p>“Do we need to be worried?” Euora asked as the door shut behind them. </p><p>“He’ll behave himself,” I said, looking towards the closed door, “How was your conversation with him, Yuri?” </p><p>Yuri was looking anxious again, he gave his head a slight shake before responding to me. “I’m really glad we talked,” he said, “We put some issues to rest.”</p><p>“Then I think we’ll be fine,” I said to Euora, “Thess told me that she wanted to talk to him earlier.”</p><p>We made our way downstairs and were quickly absorbed by the party. I found myself sitting in a booth along the edge of the main dance hall. I was in a small crush of people. </p><p>Everyone was excited. There was more energy than usual. </p><p>I allowed myself to pulled along. I kept a tendril of my awareness reaching for Ren. If I felt anger, or any urge towards violence, he would have hell to pay. </p><p>But that moment never came. </p><p>Troye was in my lap, Ahobri and Euora were at my side. </p><p>Yuri was at the edge of the booth, keeping an eye out for Thess. </p><p>“Everything’s fine,” I told him. </p><p>Thess appeared about fifteen minutes later. Her shoulders were back, and her chin was tilted up. </p><p>“Hey, how are you?” Yuri asked, drawing her towards him with concern in his eyes. </p><p>“It was fine,” she replied, with an aloof expression I wasn’t used to. </p><p>“Did you leave him in one piece?” Yuri asked, smiling despite himself. </p><p>“Is he coming down?” I asked with a wicked grin. </p><p>Thess shrugged, sitting on top of Yuri’s muscular thigh. </p><p>“I don’t get it,” Troye complained, “Are we meeting him or not?”</p><p>It took Ren a while to join us. </p><p>I noticed the crowd moving out of his way before I saw him. </p><p>Ren approached us. His body was stiff and his expression was sour and standoffish. </p><p>“That’s your fucking pilot!” Troye shouted, right next to my ear. </p><p>Ren came up to the table, shoulders hunched forward. </p><p>Troye was scrambling out of my lap. “Why didn’t any of you tell me?!” he said, turning back towards all of us before swinging back towards Ren and cocking his hip, “Hi, I’m Troye. Do you remember me?”</p><p>Ahobri had her hand over her mouth, her eyes crinkling with laughter. </p><p>“I remember you,” Ren said with a perfect deadpan. </p><p>“Everyone, I’d like you to meet Kylo Ren,” I announced to the booth, “Kylo Ren, this is everyone. I’ll get around to the names in a second.”</p><p>I called a servant over to bring us more liquor, and pulled Ren into the booth with us so people would stop staring. </p><p>We quickly had a round of shots in our hands. </p><p>I went around the booth with everyone’s names. The room was loud. There was music and endless drunken conversation. </p><p>Ren actually made an effort at conversation. Yuri was purposefully including him, giving him cues to respond to. Troye was hanging off of him, asking lots of questions. </p><p>As they saw Ren interacting with our group, the rest of the people in our booth began to relax. </p><p>“Can I get some time alone with you?” Ren asked in a low voice. </p><p>“Let’s make the rounds first,” I replied, “My people need to see you with me.”</p><p>I wriggled my way out of the booth and offered Ren my hand. </p><p>We walked through the party arm in arm. </p><p>“So how was the conversation with Thess?” I asked. </p><p>Ren was silent, his brows drawing together before he answered. “She’s more intimidating than I remember,” he said, making a lopsided smile, one corner of his mouth still turning down, “She’s serious about Yuri.”</p><p>“Did you give her a hard time?” I asked. </p><p>Ren shook his head, “I hardly said a word.”</p><p>“Good,” I replied, giving his hand a squeeze. </p><p>I wanted more details eventually, but that was all I needed to know right now. </p><p>I made introductions. </p><p>Everyone was watching us. We were followed by a chorus of turning heads and whispers. </p><p>This was my idea of a good time. Ren hated every moment of it, but he walked the circuit with me. </p><p>When we were done, I led him to the elevator. </p><p>As soon as the doors closed around us, Ren had his body pressed to mine, his bare hand at the side of my face. </p><p>He was kissing me. It was first kiss we had shared in almost two cycles. </p><p>“Siobhan, I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered, his lips brushing mine. </p><p>I had missed him too. It was different than the way I had missed Ahobri and my other friends. We shared as many good memories as bad, but he was the only other person who understood what it was like to be tuned into the Force. He was the only other person who knew what it was like to be Ymir’s acolyte. </p><p>We walked to my room together, linked closely, arm in arm. </p><p>In my sitting room, I straddled him on my sofa, hips slowly rocking against him, my skirt bunched up around my waist. </p><p>“So you want to talk?” I teased, as I kissed his neck. </p><p>Ren was pulling my shirt off, grabbing my breasts. “I thought about you every single day,” he said, kissing my neck. </p><p>I felt his teeth against my skin and I began to get hot between my legs. </p><p>Ren had his hands under my ass, and he scooped me up, making me laugh and cinch my arms around his shoulders. </p><p>He dropped me onto the bed, straddling me, pinning my arms. </p><p>I playfully struggled beneath him, hips bucking, legs twisting as Ren roughly kissed me. I cried out as he bit my tongue and pinched my nipples. </p><p>These days, most men didn’t know what to do with me. I was more powerful than them. I held a higher position. They grew nervous and hesitant, worried about what I could do to them.</p><p>My scars and tattoos were intimidating, but not to Ren. He understood what I needed. </p><p>He sat up, letting his full weight rest on top of my hips. </p><p>“Keep your arms above your head,” he ordered. </p><p>I looked up at him with a fiery expression, my lower lip pulling between my teeth. I did what he asked. </p><p>Ren studied me, silent and thoughtful. I had missed his hunger, his intensity. </p><p>He traced his fingertips across the tattoos along my arms, chest, and belly. </p><p>“Thess made all of these?” he asked. </p><p>“She did,” I answered. </p><p>Ren slid his hand up until it rested over my throat, the pattern of tattoos that extended up my neck.</p><p>“You’ve become more and more beautiful,” he mused, eyes clouding with desire. </p><p>He increased the pressure on my throat, gripping just beneath my jaw. I was wet, already writhing beneath him. </p><p>“I want to flog you,” he said. </p><p>I met his eyes, gently nodding my head. </p><p>Slowly, Ren lifted himself off of me, coming to stand. He helped me to my feet. </p><p>I was still in my skirt, heels, and jewelry. </p><p>“Give me the flogger you want me to use,” Ren said. </p><p>I opened a panel next to my bed, removed a wicked leather switch and handed it to Ren.  </p><p>“Put your hands up against the wall,” he said, with a familiar coldness to his voice that made my belly clench.</p><p>I did as he asked, splaying my hands against the plaster, leaning my ass out. It was the same patch of wall that Ymir had fucked me against, but Ren wouldn’t know that. </p><p>Ren approached me, taking his time. </p><p>He yanked at the zipper on my skirt and pushed it down my legs, leaving me standing in my thong and heels. </p><p>Ren inspected me with his hands, greedily running them down my back. He grabbed my ass, brushing along the outside and inside of my thighs. </p><p>I stayed planted where I was, growing wetter by the moment. </p><p>“These are fresh,” he said, with a light touch against the new tattoos across my right thigh. </p><p>“Just got them today.”</p><p>“Then I won’t hit you there,” Ren said. </p><p>He struck my left asscheek with the flogger. It came down fast and hard. </p><p>I cried out at the flash of pain, and then Ren was in close, his other hand sliding over the curve of my ass, his long fingers slipping between my legs, pressing inside of me. I gripped him, a moan rising above me. </p><p>He pushed and curled his fingers inside of me, until he could feel the tremble in my legs, then he pulled away. </p><p>“Ren!” I gasped. </p><p>The switch cracked against the outside of my left thigh, and I yelped at the sudden change. </p><p>He was merciless. </p><p>Ren brought the switch down again and again. He landed blows on my ass, travelling up my back. He paused to scoop up my hair, wrapping it over my shoulder so he could have access to my upper back. </p><p>When my hair was out of the way, he began striping me between my shoulderblades. </p><p>I cursed and shouted with pain. I left myself open to it, desiring whatever Ren wanted to inflict. </p><p>After so many cycles of tattooing, it was easier to keep my muscles relaxed, easier to recover between strikes. </p><p>“You’ve been practicing,” Ren snarled. </p><p>“I have…” I breathed, moving into that faraway place. </p><p>By the end, both of us were breathing heavily. </p><p>Ren took a break, running a finger down my spine <i>reaching</i> through me. </p><p>I gave him a window into the sensation, the euphoria and immediacy of the pain, the spreading ache it left behind. </p><p>Ren made a growl of pleasure, “Stand up. Go to the bed.”</p><p>“How do you want me?” I asked, my breath catching with desire. </p><p>“Good girl,” he said, swatting at my ass with his hand, “Go bend over.”</p><p>I made a show of it. With a sway in my hips, still wearing my heels, I lowered myself down, stretching out my hands in front of me, sliding across my sheets. </p><p>Ren approached. </p><p>I could hear his boots on the floor behind me. </p><p>I sighed in anticipation. </p><p>Ren was gentle, his hands moving across the outside of my thighs, hips pressing against me. I could feel his cock pushing at the front of his pants. </p><p>“Ren… I want you…” I whispered. </p><p>He put the switch down next to me. He undid his belt and tugged at his zipper. He only pulled his pants down far enough to pull his cock out. </p><p>Urgently, he pushed inside. </p><p>I cried out at the sudden sensation. </p><p>Ren had his hands on my low back, keeping me in place - using my body. </p><p>He fucked me hard, relentlessly. He was groaning, growling on top of me. </p><p>I could feel every centimeter of him, bottoming out with every stroke. </p><p>I felt his desire, the shuddering pleasure as I squeezed him, submitting to him. </p><p>I was blathering as my body responded. “Ren!... I need it… Ren… please… please fuck me…”</p><p>My orgasm was building. </p><p>My moans became screams, then became complete incoherence as he set me over the edge. </p><p>Ren was gritting his teeth, bucking his hips fast and hard and brutal. He let out a final snarl, his hands digging into my flesh as he came. I felt him pulsing, the warm wetness. </p><p>I was lost, my head lolling, riding the waves. </p><p>Ren curled over me, a forearm resting next to my face. For a moment, he was just as vulnerable, just as overwhelmed as I was. He gasped and panted, taking a few slow deep breaths before he pulled away. </p><p>He hitched his pants up before allowing himself to fall backwards into bed next to me. </p><p>I was relaxed, peaceful in the aftermath. My body was sore; a satisfying blend of pain and release moved along my muscles. </p><p>Ren took my hand, giving it a grateful squeeze. </p><p>We were silent for some time, just catching our breath, allowing the experience to settle. </p><p>Eventually he shifted in bed, stroking my cheek with the back of his hand. </p><p>I hummed, appreciating his touch. </p><p>“You know, this wasn’t what I imagined your place would be like,” Ren said, a faint smile playing across his lips. </p><p>“What did you imagine?” I asked playfully as I moved onto my back. </p><p>“I thought it would be smaller… dirtier…” Ren teased. </p><p>I reached out a hand and pinched his belly through all his shirt. </p><p>Ren captured my hand, holding on, “I like this place. It suits you.”</p><p>“Thanks,” I grinned. I sat up, starting to pull my jewelry off. </p><p>Moving gingerly, I left the bed. I grabbed a bottle of wine from the liquor cabinet and <i>pulled</i> out the cork, while Ren fought a smile. </p><p>I took a deep swig, then passed him the bottle. He took a pull.</p><p>I stood in front of him. “How was your talk with Yuri?” </p><p>“It needed to happen,” he said, passing me the bottle. </p><p>I took a seat next to him, our thighs touching. “Yuri really missed you.”</p><p>Ren nodded, his mouth pressed in a line, “I know.”</p><p>“The stuff with Adram hit him hard,” I said, seeing if Ren would open up. </p><p>“We talked about that,” Ren replied. </p><p>Silence lapsed between us. We passed the bottle back and forth while Ren thought. </p><p>“Yuri likes being here,” he said, and frowned. “I expected him to come back,” Ren admitted,” I thought he’d be gone for a few weeks, at most, then he’d get sick of it here...”</p><p>Sarcasm was on the tip of my tongue, but I held off, letting him finish. </p><p>“But he never reached out. Then I expected Lord Ymir to step in, but he said you made a good team,” Ren turned towards me, with sincerity in his gaze, “This was supposed to be the start of a new Sith empire, and I realized that I was completely alone.”</p><p>“Yuri loves you,” I said, taking Ren’s hand, “He felt guilty, like he was leaving you for Thess.”</p><p>Ren barked a laugh, “She’s really toughened up.”</p><p>“She has. I’m proud of her,” I agreed, “So how was that conversation?” I was worried that she might have said something about Yuri practicing with the Light. </p><p>“I found out that she hates me,” Ren said, “She ordered me not to do or say anything to hurt him.”</p><p>“Yuri told her about what happened at the Academy,” I explained, “She was really torn up about it.”</p><p>“He mentioned that,” Ren said, with a bitter twist to his lips. </p><p>I gave him a kiss. “She gave me a hard time too,” I said, “I told her about some of the things I’ve done.”</p><p>Ren pulled me back down into the bed, his lips pressed to mine, “Siobhan, I’ve already talked more today than I have in this past cycle.”</p><p>Ren finally took off his clothes. We fucked again, more sweetly this time. We pressed skin to skin and fell asleep together in my room, curled up beneath the blankets. </p><p>
  <b>IV</b>
</p><p>I woke to Ren shifting in bed next to me. He was brushing hair away from my face, pressing his lips to my temple. </p><p>I moved towards him, appreciating the soreness beginning to rise in my body. </p><p>“Morning,” Ren said. </p><p>The sun was already up. </p><p>I called for breakfast. </p><p>Ren wasn’t content to waste the morning in bed. He got dressed while I waited for the service droids to arrive. </p><p>“I want to train with you and Yuri,” he told me with light in his eyes. </p><p>“Gods, slow down a little,” I complained, sipping caffeine. </p><p>Ren helped himself to my console. </p><p>“We should call up Euora if you’re reaching out to Yuri,” I said. </p><p>“She trains with you?”</p><p>“Yeah. She thinks the meditation stuff is all baanthashit, but we do physical training together,” I replied.</p><p>“Who is she anyways?” </p><p>“She was Matthias’ second in command,” I replied cooly. </p><p>Ren raised an eyebrow. </p><p>“You actually helped,” I continued, with a teasing glint in my eye, “She saw me tell you off on the Cataclysm, and decided she’d stick around and hear my offer. I mean, if I can boss someone like Kylo Ren around...”</p><p>He just shook his head. </p><p>“Does Ymir know you’re here?” I asked, as the thought crossed my mind. </p><p>“I let him know when I entered the ‘System.”</p><p>“We should give him a call in a little while,” I said, “I think he’ll be happy to know that you and Yuri are patching things up.”</p><p>“Let’s call him after training,” Ren suggested.</p><p>“How long were you planning on staying?” </p><p>“I should leave tomorrow,” he replied, “I need to get back to The Finalizer.”</p><p>“So this is shoreleave?” I said. </p><p>“I am not going to party with you like last time,” he said, patting my cheek, only slightly threatening. </p><p>We all agreed to meet in the gym in half an hour. Thess planned to sit in. </p><p>Ren had a droid bring training clothes and his mask from the other bedroom. </p><p>I watched him securing his mask over his face and his lightsaber onto his belt.</p><p>“I’m going to need you to play nice with Euora,” I told him. </p><p>He looked at me, covered in layers of chrome and black metal. “What does that mean?” he asked, in that damned artificial voice. </p><p>“She’s a hothead, and she doesn’t like the First Order much,” I said, “Don’t give her a hard time.”</p><p>“So she’s like you?” Ren quipped. </p><p>“She’s exactly like me,” I grinned. </p><p>***</p><p>We all met together in my gym. Thess sat on the sidelines, watching Ren and Yuri interact. </p><p>Euora did the same, following Ren’s every move out of the corner of her eye.</p><p>I noticed her gaze flickering towards me, too. I was dressed in my usual clothes - a loose, sleeveless shirt and leggings. The shirt revealed some of the red lashes Ren had made with the leather flogger last night. My tattoos muted the lines, but they were still visible. </p><p>Yuri led our physical routines, like usual. </p><p>Afterwards, Ren got all the sparring practice he wanted. </p><p>Him and Yuri were both boyishly excited, going several rounds without a break. Yuri dusted off his large cleaver sword while Ren used a blunted metal broadsword from the collection. </p><p>Yuri had a big dumb grin on his face the whole time, adding some friendly trash talk to their match. </p><p>I was working with Euora, but she kept getting distracted by the two men. </p><p>“You can take him next,” I said, motioning for us to stop, “Get a front row seat and rest for a minute.”</p><p>I squatted down next to Thess. She had visibly relaxed, seeing how much Yuri was enjoying himself. </p><p>“Good job yesterday,” I said, keeping my voice down. </p><p>“He listened to me.”</p><p>I patted her back. </p><p>As soon as the match with Yuri was over, Euora was on her feet, taking a pike from the weapons rack. She gave it a few expert twirls before squaring off with Ren, who still had the broadsword. </p><p>I moved closer just in case I needed to step in. </p><p>Euora soon found herself in the exact situation she was in with Ymir. </p><p>Ren didn’t antagonize Euora, but he didn’t hold back either. He got in front of every single attack, expertly responding to any weakness in her defenses. I didn’t use the Force so aggressively to track her movements in our practice together. She wasn’t used to it. </p><p>Euora approached the first match with fiery determination. The second match I felt a spike in frustration as she lost again. She was spoiling for a third shot when I stepped in. </p><p>“You have to keep your cool,” I advised, keeping my voice down, “I can read you like a fucking map, and so can Ren.”</p><p>Euora took my words to heart and gave herself a moment to shake off the previous two rounds. </p><p>The third match lasted longer, but Euora still lost. After it was done, she shook Ren’s hand with grudging respect, staring into his chrome visor. </p><p>I took a couple rounds with Yuri, each of us with one of my lightsabers. </p><p>“You’ve gotten stronger,” Ren observed from the sidelines.</p><p>“That’s all Yuri,” I grinned. </p><p>“And I still can’t feel a thing from you,” Ren said, “I can see how much more powerful you are, but I can’t feel it.”</p><p>“What does that mean?” Euora asked him, her arms crossed over her chest. </p><p>“Siobhan can hide her energy,” Ren answered, with his artificial voice, “I can read out your thoughts and intentions, but hers are camouflaged.” </p><p>He stood and took Yuri’s place.</p><p>Euora, Yuri, and Thess all lined up neatly to watch our match. It was exciting for them, both of us were using our lightsabers. </p><p>I had fun with it, starting out with several flourishing, showy moves. </p><p>Ren approached the match more seriously. Without being able to predict my movements, we were evenly matched. He struck swiftly and decisively, searching for a clean win early on. </p><p>I tightened my concentration. </p><p>The first match went to me. </p><p>During the second match, Ahobri poked her head in, tablet in hand. She needed me for something. </p><p>Ren didn’t exploit that moment of distraction, but he stepped up his game as soon as she sat down, making me respond to a heavy hammering attack. </p><p>Everyone was captivated, listening to the hum of our blades through the air and the crackling, uneven energy of Ren’s lightsaber. </p><p>In the end, he made it through my defenses. I resigned. </p><p>Ren gave my shoulder a pat and I smiled at him. </p><p>I hung my lightsaber on my belt and walked over to Ahobri. </p><p>“That was incredible,” she said, glancing between me and Ren. I knew she had noticed the red marks across my shoulder blades. </p><p>“Thanks,” I replied, “What’s going on?”</p><p>“I just wanted to remind you we have the conference with Black Sun at 1300.”</p><p>We were making some changes to their territory. We were also giving them information on some rare artifact in a New Republic museum. </p><p>“What time is it now?” I asked. </p><p>“It’s only 1100, but I hadn’t seen you today,” she gave me a peck on the lips and left. </p><p>“If you want to meditate, we should get a move on,” I told Ren and Yuri, “Ahobri is making me work today.”</p><p>Thess and Euora split off to start their day, while the three of us met in my meditation room. </p><p>Ahobri had turned the space into something more contained and serene than the rest of the house. All the consoles had been removed. The floors were made of wood, warm and polished. The walls were painted beige and lined with plants. </p><p>We pulled out mats and took our seats, facing one another in a circle. </p><p>There was a tick of nervousness in Yuri’s heart. I sent a tendril of my energy towards him, prepared to help steer him towards the Darkside. </p><p>“I’d like to lead,” Ren said. He still had his mask on. </p><p>Yuri nodded, hands on his knees. </p><p>We closed our eyes, slowing and syncing our breath. </p><p>I felt Ren <i>reach</i> for me and I joined him, dropping into the shared space of the Force with Yuri at our side. </p><p>Connected in this way, I could feel a stickiness from Yuri’s aura. He was out of practice with the effort it took to push towards the Darkside. </p><p>Ren and I joined, sinking towards the hungry, keening energy beneath us. </p><p>Yuri was unfocused, drifting separately. He was struggling to switch gears. He was used to emptying himself. </p><p>I felt Ren <i>reach</i> towards Yuri. It was a slow sensation, almost dreamlike. </p><p>Ren was responding to the Light. I could feel his energy shift, like a train moving onto a new set of tracks - seamless.  </p><p>As soon as he realized what was happening, Ren sharply <i>pulled</i> away. </p><p>“The Light?!” he snarled, voice raspoing harshly through the audiofeed. </p><p>I brought myself back to the room, knowing that I needed to step in. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Yuri said, looking towards the ground. He was retreating, pulling inwards. </p><p>“When did you begin practicing with the Light?” Ren demanded. </p><p>“I’ve been encouraging him,” I said, my voice firm and even. </p><p>“You?” Ren snapped, turning towards me. </p><p>“Yes, me,” I replied, “I don’t think the Light is a threat. Yuri should be able to practice with the Force however he sees fit.”</p><p>“You renounced the Light,” Ren growled, turning his attention back towards Yuri. </p><p>“Ren,” I warned, “You can’t do this, not in my house.”</p><p>I could feel Ren’s anger and the rising tide of shame and guilt. Ren gripped his knees, looking between the two of us. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Yuri repeated, his shoulders hunched. </p><p>Ren didn’t say anything. He didn’t trust himself to speak. </p><p>“Okay,” I said, rising to my feet, “Ren, come with me.”</p><p>Thankfully he listened. We left the meditation room together. </p><p>We strode down the halls towards my rooms. “Are you really going to throw away everything you did yesterday?” I snapped. </p><p>“Why are you letting him practice with the Light?” Ren growled, a pace behind me. </p><p>“I’m not ‘letting’ him do anything. How he explores the Force is up to him.”</p><p>I could almost hear Ren’s jaw gripping. “You don’t know what it’s like,” he said. </p><p>We entered my sitting room. </p><p>“We made an oath,” Ren continued, “We renounced the Light together. It’s weakness.”</p><p>“That’s not how I see it.”</p><p>“And what made you the fucking expert?” Ren said, pointing at me, “Do you have a connection with the Light now?”</p><p>“We’re in my fucking house and I don’t have to explain myself to you. Yuri doesn’t have to explain himself to you.”</p><p>Ren drew himself up, moving towards me. </p><p>“Take one more step, and I’m throwing you out.” </p><p>I steeled myself, hand by the lightsaber on my belt. </p><p>Ren halted, his sadness carving a brief window through his anger, “Siobhan…”</p><p>“Save it for Yuri.” </p><p>Ren dropped into the nearest chair, pulling his mask off. </p><p>Suddenly, he threw it, the metal clattering off my wall, leaving a dent in the plaster. </p><p>“Fuck!” he shouted, his hands balled into fists. His anger was drawing inwards, directed at himself. </p><p>“I don’t care if you’re pissed at me,” I said, my voice hard, “I don’t care about your opinion, but Yuri does. If you want to keep him in your life, you need to apologize and stop being such a fucking asshole.”</p><p>Ren was breathing deeply. His eyes were watery. His fists were still clenched at his sides. </p><p>I gave him a couple of moments, but he didn’t respond. Ren sat still, seething with rage. </p><p>I left him to it. I needed to get ready for my meeting with Black Sun. </p><p>I was in the middle of drying my hair when Ren stepped through the open door to my bathroom. </p><p>His eyes were red and there was color in his cheeks. </p><p>I looked up at him. </p><p>He took a step towards me, and I let him approach. </p><p>Ren pulled me into a tight embrace, his arms wrapped around me like I might disappear. There was pain as he pressed against the tender skin he had flogged. </p><p>“I hated you for so long after you left,” he said, a hoarse edge to his voice, “It was so easy to do. I blamed you, and I hated you, but I was the one who was alone.”</p><p>“You need to be talking with Yuri,” I said, gently pushing him off of me, “I don’t really care. But he does.”</p><p>“Can you ask him to come to the room for me?”</p><p>“Sure,” I said, frustration tinging my voice. </p><p>I went to the console, typing a quick message to Yuri: [Ren wants to apologize for being a dick. Come to my room if you feel like it.]</p><p>“You’re really fucking exhausting,” I complained, as Ren took a seat on my bed. </p><p>“So are you,” Ren said with a weak smile. </p><p>It got me. I kissed his cheek. </p><p>I returned to my bathroom to finish getting dressed and ready for the day. As I was leaving, I found Yuri and Ren in my sitting room. </p><p>Both of them were hunched forward, elbows on their knees. </p><p>“Everything good?” I asked. </p><p>Yuri looked up at me and gave me a firm nod. </p><p>I left them to it. </p><p>I had more work to take care of than just the meeting with Black Sun. </p><p>Having Ren around always complicated things. </p><p>Usually it was just our fights, but now there were political messes I needed to clean up. </p><p>The Hutt liaisons staying here had sent along the message that Kylo Ren was here, so I had to talk with the family about it: No, it didn’t mean anything was changing with First Order strategy; No, Ren wouldn’t be conducting First Order business from my house. </p><p>After that, Ahobri and I made our rounds with the crews, trying to get ahead of any of the other groups having that same impression. </p><p>***</p><p>Euora and Thess joined me and Ahobri to get ready for the nightly party that was starting downstairs.  </p><p>Yuri and Ren had been working together all afternoon and they were still off together, somewhere in the house. </p><p>“So how much longer is he staying?” Euora asked, as she pulled a dress over her head. </p><p>“Through tomorrow morning, at least,” I replied, letting her know with my tone that I wasn’t open to a barrage of questions. </p><p>“I don’t like him hanging around,” Euora said. </p><p>“You’ve made that clear,” I replied. </p><p>“He told Yuri sorry earlier,” Thess said, stepping into the conversation. </p><p>“Did he actually say that he was sorry?” I said, fighting a grin, “Like, those exact words?”</p><p>Thess nodded slowly. </p><p>“I’ve never heard him say sorry,” I laughed, “He’s gotten close, but I’ve never actually heard him say the words. I wish you had a recording…”</p><p>“You really know how to pick ‘em,” Ahobri teased. </p><p>When we joined the throngs of people downstairs. I settled into my usual gaggle of smugglers and Hutt lackeys. I had my arm around Troye’s shoulders. </p><p>He looked gorgeous tonight, wearing a black dress and neon blue lipstick. </p><p>“I can’t believe you never told me who your pilot was,” Troye pouted, making sure I knew he was offended, “Did Jukhara know?”</p><p>“She found out,” Ahobri said, leaning towards Troye, her chin resting on her palm, “She wouldn’t tell me. She made Siobhan do it.”</p><p>“You fucking called him Kay!” Troye exclaimed, “I remember!”</p><p>“That’s what I said,” Ahobri added. </p><p>“Gods, you are really busting my balls here,” I said with a grimace. </p><p>“Were you ever going to tell me who he was?!” Troye asked. </p><p>Eventually Yuri and Ren found us. I was grateful that Ren had his mask off. He was dressed in black - possibly the same outfit he had worn yesterday, it was hard to tell. </p><p>“We were just talking about you,” Troye said helpfully, as they joined us on the bench. </p><p>“Oh, wonderful,” Yuri said, winking at Troye. </p><p>“Did Siobhan tell you I met your Master?” Troye continued, leaning in close to Ren, batting his long false lashes. </p><p>“No, she didn’t,” Ren said, a slow smile creeping along, “Did Lord Ymir come here?” he glanced over at me. </p><p>“About a cycle ago,” I replied easily, hoping that no one would mention the fact we had sex during that trip. Everyone close to me in the house knew about it. </p><p>“He didn’t tell me he came by,” Ren mused.  </p><p>I changed the topic by waving over some of the people filtering through the lounge. This was the social part of the evening. People came and went from our group. </p><p>Ahobri wanted to dance, and she pulled me and Euora away. Ren trailed after us, with Yuri and Thess at his side. </p><p>Thess left the two men at the wall to come dance with us. </p><p>I joined up with Ren after several drinks and songs. </p><p>“Okay, I’m ready for a breather,” I told him. </p><p>We travelled through the halls together. People gave us space.</p><p>Ren linked his arm with mine, “Come back to your room with me,” he said, leaning close to my ear. </p><p>“It’s still early.”</p><p>“I know,” Ren said, “But I’m leaving tomorrow. I want as much time with you as possible.”</p><p>
  <b>V</b>
</p><p>We returned to my rooms. </p><p>After everything that had happened today, we were both more subdued. </p><p>I took a bottle with me out onto the balcony, looking out over my smoggy glittering city. </p><p>Ren took a seat next to me, leaning back on his hands. </p><p>The sounds of the party drifted up from the floors directly below us. </p><p>“You’ve really made something for yourself here,” he observed. </p><p>“I have,” I agreed, taking a drink. </p><p>We lapsed into a calm silence, enjoying the night together. </p><p>“So what got you back on Luke’s tail?” I asked, taking the bottle from Ren. </p><p>“The Superior General,” Ren answered, lips twisting, “I have a new assignment.”</p><p>“What’s that?” I asked with concern, passing the bottle back. </p><p>“Snoke expects me to kneecap the Resistance. My mission is to kill General Organa, Han Solo, and Luke Skywalker.”</p><p>“Fuck.”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s right,” Ren replied, taking another long drink. </p><p>I realized that I had never heard him complain before. He flew into rages. He protested, but he never complained. He always just put his head down and did what was asked.</p><p>“I don’t want to kill any of them,” Ren said. His throat was tight. </p><p>I paused, caught off guard. </p><p>Carefully, I reached out and rested my hand on his back. I didn’t know what was going to happen. </p><p>Ren didn’t move. My hand felt like it was resting on stone. All of his muscles were tense. </p><p>“That’s my weakness,” he growled, a waver in his voice, “If I could let go of the Light, I know I could do it.”</p><p>I ran my hand across his back. </p><p>“I abandoned my mother and brother, Ren. They’re both dead now. I did the wrong thing. It doesn’t make you strong. You know that.”</p><p>“Vader failed because of the Light,” Ren said, staring out over the city, “He allowed himself to be pulled towards it and that’s when he fell. I refuse to be that weak.”</p><p>“But the Dark is just nothingness. It just goes on forever. It will never have enough... Ren, it calls out to me,” I took in a breath, starting to cry myself, “I can hear it. If I give myself over to it, I can have the power to do whatever I want, but it wants to take all of me.”</p><p>Ren had a vicious look on his face, and a thrill of fear moved through me. </p><p>“I’ve never experienced that,” he sneered, “There’s always the other side pulling me. I can never fully give myself over to the Darkness, because there is always a glimmer of Light.”</p><p>I suddenly felt very, very cold. </p><p>Both of us were silent for a long time, passing the bottle. </p><p>“What happens when we die?” I asked. My voice was quiet. </p><p>Ren looked at me, but he didn’t say anything. </p><p>“For people like us,” I said, “What happens to us when we die?”</p><p>“There are two paths with the Force,” Ren said, sounding like he was reciting something, “For the Jedi that follow the Light, they rejoin the energy stream through the universe - eternal life, woven into the fabric of the cosmos.”</p><p>Ren gave me a sharp look, “But for the Sith… the Sith get pulled down into that void. You’re a piece of nothingness, always falling down into that pit.”</p><p>Tears leaked out, rolling slowly down my cheeks. </p><p>I already knew the answer. Of course I did. I had felt it. When I died, I’d be consumed. </p><p>The thought silenced me. </p><p>The Darkside was rising in my heart, a sticky, gnawing sensation. </p><p>“This is a fucked way to live.”</p><p>Ren looked over at me. </p><p>“People weren’t meant to live like this,” I said, my jaw jutting forward. </p><p>“Siobhan, we’re stronger than anyone else in this whole ‘System. This is real power.” Ren’s eyes were shining, feverish. </p><p>“I think about the cost all the time,” I said, “All those people we killed on Otomok... I don’t ever want to do anything like that again.”</p><p>“We are going to own the Galaxy!” </p><p>“No. Fuck that,” I said, meeting his eyes- his manic stare, “Fuck all of this!”</p><p>I stood up, raising my arms, “Fuck the Sith. Fuck the Jedi. Fuck the First Order!”</p><p>Ren was pushing himself up, taking a hold of my wrists. </p><p>I had really done it now. </p><p>Ren twisted my arms behind my back and pressed me into the wall. My cheek was smashed against the glass. </p><p>I made a show of struggling. I snarled and bit at him. </p><p>Ren hit my cheek, pain searing across the side of my face. </p><p>“You just can’t fucking help yourself, can you?” he said, his voice dangerously calm. </p><p>I spat, egging him on. </p><p>Ren had his teeth against my neck, his hips pressed against my ass, holding my hands behind my back. </p><p>He yanked me upright with a hand on my shoulder and manhandled me into my bedroom. </p><p>It was so fun to struggle for him. </p><p>Ren moved me down onto the ground, letting go of my arms so he could undo his belt and his zipper. One hand stayed on me at all times, his weight bearing down. </p><p>I howled and screamed as he fucked me on my floor. I cursed and writhed beneath him. </p><p>He had a hand at my throat, tightening and tightening. </p><p>My orgasm washed over me, rippling along my spine, down my legs, pulling in my belly. </p><p>Ren rolled me onto my back, driving even deeper into me. His hands were on my thighs, pinning my legs back. </p><p>He let out a cry as he came, letting his hips sink against me. </p><p>We were both helpless and panting. </p><p>“Fuck you, Siobhan…” Ren murmured, scooping my head up against his chest. </p><p>I could hear his heartbeat pounding steadily against his ribs. </p><p>Ren took off all of his clothes and we crawled into bed. We slept peacefully, curled together in the dark. </p><p>***</p><p>The next morning, we didn’t bother with alarms or training. </p><p>Ren woke before me, silently studying my body. </p><p>I woke to him running his fingertips over my left shoulder blade, feeling the edges of the scar the blastershot had made. </p><p>I murmured a little bit, letting him know I was awake, but I stayed on my belly, face turned towards him. </p><p>I felt his fascination as he examined the combination of tattoos and battlescars etched along me. </p><p>He traced the grazing blastershot marks along my arms and legs. He found the burn he had made with his lightsaber along my right shoulder. </p><p>“Gods, you are just so beautiful,” he breathed. </p><p>“Can you enjoy this for what it is?” I asked. </p><p>Ren halted, fingertips hovering along my ribs. </p><p>“What do you mean?” he asked quietly. </p><p>I met his eyes, his stiff expression. </p><p>“You’re always trying to change things,” I said, “You’re always asking for something I can’t give you.”</p><p>“Siobhan-”</p><p>“I don’t want anything from you,” I said, pushing myself up, “We’re here. We’re in bed. Let’s just enjoy that.”</p><p>I climbed on top of him, resting against his chest, my legs straddling his waist. </p><p>Slowly, I explored his body, the same way he had done with me. </p><p>I found the scar I had left with my lightsaber, just below his hip. There was a slight indent at the top of the puckered mark, pink against his pale skin. </p><p>We had all marked each other - Ren, Ymir, and I. I carried them with me, on my skin and in my mind. </p><p>Ren and I made love, our bodies tangling without exerting violence or control. </p><p>Afterwards I showered, while Ren went to say his goodbyes to Yuri. </p><p>The three of us travelled down to the hangar. </p><p>Yuri hugged Ren, firmly patting his back, “It was so good to see you, Ren.”</p><p>Ren looked between the two of us. His kitbag was on the ground, his mask resting on top. </p><p>“I want to see you more often,” he said, his dark eyes bright with hope. </p><p>“We’ll be around,” I said with a smile, patting his upper arm. </p><p>Ren pulled me to him, tilting my head up to kiss me. I don’t think he had ever done something like that with Yuri around. His black gloved hand, snaked through my hair. </p><p>Yuri and I hung around in the hangar until Ren had left. </p><p>“So are you two getting along now?” Yuri teased, resting a hand on my shoulder. </p><p>“We’ll see,” I replied. </p><p>***</p><p>Slowly, Ren became one of the regulars at my house. </p><p>When Ren had showed up unannounced, I didn’t think he’d be able to mend the broken relationships with me and Yuri. </p><p>Unexpectedly, Ren was earning my trust. </p><p>A cycle passed with relative peace between us. </p><p>Ymir had me out on more diplomatic meetings with the New Republic. </p><p>The First Order was expanding as it continued to pump out conscripted soldiers, taken from the backwater colonies. </p><p>Construction of Starkiller Base was proceeding in total secrecy, and ahead of schedule.</p><p>When Ren wasn’t out overseeing Starkiller Base, or hammering at the Resistance, he was on Taris. </p><p>Once, Yuri joined him on one of the legs of his quest to track down the map to Skywalker. </p><p>Ren was still pompous and arrogant. He wasn’t friendly, but he wasn’t pouring his anger out on me and Yuri anymore. He tamped down his urge to control everything around him. </p><p>Ymir began bringing both of us to state events. The three of us began to work on the next stage of strategy in the First Order’s expansion. </p><p>I listened to Ymir and Ren talk more and more about the development of a Sith Empire, planning their recruitment and training. They talked about rebuilding the Academy on Korriban.</p><p>The Sith were reunited once again. Gods save the Galaxy.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter was so much fun to write, and I’m so glad I got to make a post on my birthday :)</p><p>I have a big announcement: We are two chapters away from the ending. It’s fucking wild to have made it this far. </p><p>That being said, I’m going to skip next Wednesday’s post so I have more time to type and edit. The past few posts have been a marathon. Check in next Saturday for the new chapter. </p><p>Thanks so much for following this story. Your kudos and comments are so incredibly encouraging. If you’ve been reading and haven’t left a note yet, I’d love to hear from you. I’m interested in everyone’s thoughts, no matter how big or small.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. A Glimmer in the Dark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Siobhan has found her stride. She is carrying out the will of the First Order through the Outer Rim. She controls the criminal underground. </p><p>She shares her bed with Kylo Ren. </p><p>Before this chapter is done, Siobhan will have to make the most important decision of her life.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have been totally obsessed with the Beyonce remix of <a href="https://youtu.be/lEIqjoO0-Bs">Megan Thee Stallion’s ‘Savage’</a>. This is totally Ahobri and Siobhan’s theme song. :)</p><p>Also, can’t wait to rewatch Rise of Skywalker and catch new episodes of The Mandalorian (edit...wishful thinking. New episodes of Clone Wars) tomorrow!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>Trigger Warning/Unsafe BDSM practices:</b> There’s a scene with breathplay towards the middle of the story. It’s not really violent or anything, but after having it in several other chapters, I just want to be clear that breathplay is legitimately dangerous and falls under the ‘don’t try this at home’ category. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>I</b>
</p><p>The First Order was ramping up its action against the New Republic and the Resistance. </p><p>My orders were to conduct a heist the day before the New Republic’s next council meeting. </p><p>Our intelligence had discovered that MarTech was secretly building ships for the Rebel fleet. On the surface, the company appeared to be following the New Republic’s demilitarization policy, and was producing transport vessels instead of warships.  </p><p>But we discovered that they had shipyards scattered throughout the expansion zone - neutral territory - and were making military starships for our enemies. </p><p>Verza and Arjun and their captains gathered at my house to plan the mission. </p><p>I conducted my business in a lounge with a large table, a couple of sitting areas, and a bar. On most days, this room was full of people but we had kicked everyone out for the planning session. </p><p>The lights were dimmed and two holoprojectors were set up. </p><p>We were a small crowd. Euora and Ahobri sat on either side of me at the table - Ahobri had her tablet out, recording our strategy notes. Verza had brought seven of his captains, while Arjun brought five. There were several Bith, Aqualish, Trandoshans, and Chagrians at the table, as well as a couple of human men. </p><p>Verza had become the leader of Nova crew. Arjun was wearing out my patience.</p><p>“Siobhan,” Arjun complained, “This is a fleet of vessels, not some crates of contraband. Do you expect us to tow them around in hyperspace until we find a buyer?”</p><p>Euora stepped in, very businesslike, “You won’t have to worry about a buyer, the ships are already spoken for. This is just a transport job.”</p><p>Verza was much more responsive. “Let’s start working on how we want to divide our crews,” he said, toggling within the map of the shipyards. </p><p>Some weeks, Arjun was easy to work with; he was friendly; his crews did exactly what I wanted, right on time. Other weeks, Arjun was constantly reaching out to tell me about difficulties in the ranks, or how a job was going to be late, or some unexpected problem came up. </p><p>This was the second kind of week. </p><p>I was thankful to have Euora involved. She did a good job keeping Arjun and his captains on track, making sure our plans didn’t stray too far into the weeds. </p><p>She explained that there were seven targets, split across seven planets. </p><p>Nova crew would make a coordinated strike against the seven MarTech shipyards. We’d take as many ships as possible, then destroy the facilities. </p><p>The new vessels would be distributed across the smaller outfits in my network. </p><p>These crews would suddenly have well-made combat ships that we could use against New Republic targets, a nice little ‘fuck-you’ message. </p><p>The First Order was paying Nova crew outright for the job. Which meant that they were paying me, by extension.</p><p>Eventually, we had a mission plan that Ahobri would send to Ymir. </p><p>We turned the lights on. Verza and his men were getting up from the table. </p><p>“Make yourself at home,” I told them, “You can spend the night. My servants have your usual rooms set up.”</p><p>Arjun remained seated with his second in command. He got my attention over the chatter, “Siobhan, I was hoping to have a word with you.”</p><p>I gave Arjun a purposeful stare. </p><p>Euora was already across the room with her arm slung around Jace, one of Verza’s top captains. I met her eyes and motioned for her to return to the table. </p><p>Ahobri was looking at me expectantly. </p><p>“You can go on,” I told her, “This will just be a second.” </p><p>At the edge of my awareness, I felt a familiar energy. </p><p>“Ren and Yuri are back,” I added, just as Ahobri was stepping through the doorway. </p><p>It was an unnecessary statement. The house would be alerted as soon as Ren and Yuri requested a hangar, but I found little comments like that reminded people of their place. </p><p>“I’ll tell Thess,” Ahobri replied. </p><p>Euora and I took a seat across from Arjun and his second in command, a real big bruiser type.</p><p>“What is it, Arjun?” I said, letting him see my irritation. </p><p>He waited until the room was clear. </p><p>“I don’t like that we are moving directly against the Resistance,” Arjun said. </p><p>What a load of baanthashit. </p><p>I arched an eyebrow, “I’m not paying you to like it. I’m paying you to do the work.”</p><p>Arjun was persistent, “My crew has been very unhappy. We’re a smuggling outfit, not a strike team.”</p><p>I looked at him for several moments, not responding. </p><p>Both Trandoshan men began to quietly wither. Euora sat patiently at my side. </p><p>“Your crew is what I say it is,” I finally said, “So for this mission, you will be a strike team. It’s your responsibility to rally your crew for this assignment. Will you do that?”</p><p>My question hung in the air. </p><p>Arjun tried to hide the nervous bob of his throat as he swallowed, “Yes, Siobhan. Of course.”</p><p>“Good,” I replied, my eyes fixed on him, “Was there anything else you wanted to discuss?”</p><p>“No, Siobhan,” he replied with a shake of his head. </p><p>“Then you’re dismissed,” I replied, “We’ll catch up tonight.”</p><p>I waited at the table with Euora at my side, while Arjun and his second in command left the meeting room. </p><p>Euora turned to me, “We need to keep an eye on him.”</p><p>“I want you on his crew for this mission,” I replied with a nod, “We should spend some time with Verza and his men tonight, figuring out which ones are ready to take over for Arjun.”</p><p>***</p><p>I returned to my rooms. </p><p>The shower was already running. </p><p>Ren’s kit bag  was in one of my chairs. His mask sat on top of the table next to my bed.</p><p>I wandered into my bathroom, took a seat on the countertop, and glanced at Ren’s tall form in the steam. </p><p>“How was the mission?” I asked, projecting my voice over the pouring water. </p><p>“Fucking horrible,” Ren answered, turning off the water and pulling a towel down from where he had draped it neatly over the glass wall. </p><p>“That bad?”</p><p>Ren stepped out with a towel around his hips and his hair dripping water, “I was just supposed to be dropping Yuri off, but I think I’m going to stay a couple of days.”</p><p>He kissed me, his skin warm and soap-smelling, while fat water droplets fell from his hair onto me. </p><p>“Go dry off!” I ordered playfully, pushing him away. </p><p>Ren growled and nipped at my lower lip. He had a few days worth of stubble along his cheeks and chin. </p><p>He grabbed a second towel, tousling his long black hair, “What are you working on?”</p><p>“Ymir has me going after MarTech,” I replied, “Nova crew is hitting them right before the next council meeting.”</p><p>“Are you going to that, with Lord Ymir?” Ren asked, running the second towel over his arms, shoulders, and chest. </p><p>“I’m doing everything I can to get out of it,” I said, “Those meetings are always so fucking boring.”</p><p>“The New Republic is crumbling,” Ren said, “Chancellor Mon Motha was a fool to demilitarize.”</p><p>I lounged on my bed, while Ren shaved and brushed his teeth. </p><p>Mom Motha wanted to see a Galaxy united by peace. </p><p>Wouldn’t that be the day. </p><p>Ren emerged shirtless in a pair of loose, black, drawstring pants. He pounced on me, pinning my arms at my sides while he kissed me. His kisses moved from my face down to my neck and chest. </p><p>I wriggled in his strong grasp, crying out as his teeth grazed my skin. I yelped as he pulled at the barbells in my nipples through my thin shirt. </p><p>We stayed in bed for a quickie - rough and dirty. </p><p>Ren was on top of me the whole time. He only bothered to push my pants down my knees, underwear pulled to the side. He grunted, panting heavily as he thrust into me. </p><p>I cried out, and arched my back, enjoying the way he used my body. </p><p>When he was done, Ren traced his hand down the side of my face and gave me one last, greedy kiss.</p><p>“You were all I could think about on the way here,” he said.</p><p>I smiled and kissed him back, my arms draped around his shoulders, “Tell me about your mission.”</p><p>He sighed, and rolled off of me, tugging his pants back up, “Sure, let’s go have a drink with Yuri.”</p><p>***</p><p>Thess, Yuri, and Ahobri were at a table in the upstairs lounge with an open bottle of wine and a waterpipe. </p><p>“I heard it was a wash,” I said sympathetically as I joined the group, “You were out on Elphrona, right?”</p><p>“That’s right,” Yuri replied. He poured glasses for me and Ren, “How old were we, our first time there?”</p><p>“I was fourteen, so you were eleven or twelve,” Ren answered, taking the glass. </p><p>I kissed Ahobri’s cheek before taking a seat on the cushion next to her. </p><p>Ren draped himself over me, his chin resting on my shoulder. He was in less formal robes, but still covered from chin to toes in black. </p><p>Ahobri and Ren tolerated each other. </p><p>For Ahobri, this setup was nothing new; men came and went, stealing our attention for brief stretches of time. It had taken Ren much longer to notice and acknowledge my relationship with Ahobri. </p><p>I had the distinct sense that Yuri had helped Ren figure it out. </p><p>This difficult part was that Ahobri didn’t like Ren very much. He was withdrawn and violent, and it put her on edge. When he was at the house, Ahobri spent the nights in her room, usually pulling Troye in for company. </p><p>“So, you’ve been there before?” I asked, taking a sip of my drink, “Ymir told me it was an old Jedi temple.”</p><p>“It was used for storage,” Ren replied with a wry twist to his mouth, “The Jedi Order hid relics there.”</p><p>“It’s at the edge of the Unknown regions,” Yuri said, “So they thought it was well hidden.”</p><p>“So what happened?” Thess asked. </p><p>She had been worried that Ren would be a bad influence in Yuri’s life. Yuri had stopped his practice with the Light. He was exploring the Darkside with a renewed interest and intensity. </p><p>“We expected it would be a quick survey. The place was abandoned last time,” Yuri said. </p><p>“It was completely untouched back then,” Ren elaborated, “Luke found a couple of missing Jedi texts there.”</p><p>“Which is why we thought it would be worthwhile to search for the missing section of the map,” Yuri said. </p><p>I had told Yuri that I missed feeling him practice with the Light at my side, but he had deflected, talking about Ymir and service to the First Order. </p><p>“This time there was a group of squatters,” Ren said bitterly, taking another drink, “They had raided the entire place. All the remaining Jedi artifacts were gone.”</p><p>“What’s the name of the group?” I asked. </p><p>I doubted that they were actually squatters. They were probably a band of pirates or smugglers, hiding out next to the Unknown Regions.</p><p>Yuri’s expression drew in as he tried to remember the name, “Xuyen Force?” </p><p>Ren was dismissive, “It doesn’t matter-”</p><p>“Excuse me, it might,” I replied, giving him a look, “It could be one of my affiliates.”</p><p>“And are they?” Ren asked, his eyes flashing. </p><p>I shook my head, “I don’t recognize the name.”</p><p>“Anyway, they had trashed the place,” Yuri continued, getting ahead of our bickering, “There was garbage everywhere-”</p><p>“Thousands of years of Jedi history, all looted and trampled and ruined,” Ren interrupted with a scowl. </p><p>“So you sent them packing?” I replied. </p><p>“We did more than that,” Ren said with a cruel sneer.  </p><p>Thess was watching Ren carefully now. With Adram gone to serve on Snoke’s praetorian guard, Yuri was Ren’s sole brother, the only person left who had followed Ren from the Jedi Academy to the First Order. </p><p>“We cleared the temple out,” Yuri said, more diplomatically. </p><p>“What a fucking unlucky day,” I comisserated, patting Ren’s thigh, “I’m assuming that place got raided a long time ago, but are there any relics that my people can keep an eye out for?”</p><p>“The Jedi relics can burn,” Ren said coldly, “I just don’t like that it was a gang of unwashed criminals doing it.”</p><p>Almost no one in my house wanted Ren here. He made everyone nervous, stalking around in black with his temper always threatening to spill over. </p><p>There were benefits for me, though.</p><p>It made me look powerful to have a man like Kylo Ren, wrapped around my finger. </p><p>Within the First Order, those kinds of relationships were viewed as manipulation and nepotism. But with my people, it made me look like I had the upper hand. I shared my bed with some of the most dangerous men in the Galaxy. My casual intimacy with them made me look even more intimidating. </p><p>But, that wasn’t the reason why I allowed Ren to join me in my house. </p><p>I needed a peer in the Darkside just as badly as he did. </p><p>As close as I was with Ahobri, I was always in a position of explaining myself. </p><p>Ren understood. </p><p>We could share impressions and memories between each other, as easily as breathing. With him, I didn’t have to worry that what I said would be frightening or upsetting. Ren had been through a lot already. </p><p>Yuri had found his relationship with Ren deepening as Ren slowly became less rigid and controlling</p><p>I think Yuri had been waiting for this shift for the entirety of their friendship. He returned the Ren’s effort with warmth and loyalty. </p><p>Ren was still aloof and standoffish, but he wasn’t so quick to criticize and lash out. </p><p>When Ren had said he wanted to make things right between us, I hadn’t expected him to keep it up for very long. I thought he’d visit once or twice, then he’d get pissed at me for something, and we’d go back to avoiding each other; but it had been a cycle and Ren had managed to keep himself in check. </p><p>The three of us had become a team, working and training together, and the First Order was stronger than ever before.  </p><p>
  <b>II</b>
</p><p>After spending the afternoon with Yuri, Thess, and company, I needed to rejoin Nova crew. I’d let Verza know that Euora would be joining the mission. </p><p>Ahobri, Euora, and I circulated through the party together. </p><p>I wasn’t going to pull Verza aside to tell him about the change in plans; closed doors and private meetings lead to rumors. A few well-timed sentences in a crowd usually got the job done without giving anything away. </p><p>We found Verza in a booth with Ido, Quann, a few of his captains, and their women. </p><p>The security droid stood on the outside of the booth, its blaster at ease. </p><p>I took a spot next to Verza, with Euora scooting in next to me. </p><p>“Is Kylo Ren going to make an appearance?” Verza asked. He had a sly look on his flat, gray face. </p><p>“I doubt it,” I replied with a friendly grin. </p><p>Ren never made social appearances in my house. He kept to the upper floors, where people wouldn’t gawp or, worse, try to talk to him. </p><p>“Euora and I made some changes to the mission,” I said. </p><p>“What’s happening?” Verza asked. </p><p>“Arjun. He’s more trouble than he’s worth,” I replied. </p><p>Verza’s captains had their eye on me. But with the loud music, conversation, women, and alcohol, it was hard to eavesdrop. </p><p>“I’m going to join Arjun’s crew tomorrow,” Euora said, leaning over my shoulder, “I’ll see who’s loyal to us.”</p><p>Verza made eye contact with Euora, and gave a slight nod to acknowledge her. </p><p>“We’re looking to replace Arjun with one of your captains,” I said. </p><p>“You should talk with Sarna and Mel,” Verza said, glancing over at an unusually muscular Bith, and a middle-aged Aqualish. </p><p>I left Euora in the booth to get more familiar with them. </p><p>I found Ahobri. We made a point to spend some time drinking and socializing with Arjun and his crew. Casually, I let him know that Euora would be joining the mission. I left out one detail - that she was travelling with his team; he’d find out in the hangar tomorrow.</p><p>Running a house was like trying to build on a hill of sand. </p><p>I had never envied Jukhara’s position. She had put herself at the center of a tangled web of relationships between the Hutts, clients, politicians, vendors, and her staff. </p><p>Now that people knew I was a Sith, the right hand of Lord Ymir, I entered all my interactions with instant authority. But fear and intimidation was a brittle foundation. I spent most of my time developing relationships with the groups I commanded. </p><p>With Ahobri at my side, we made ourselves available, giving people room to voice their ideas and concerns. Ahobri was always much more willing to listen than I was, but I understood the importance. </p><p>If people knew I could be reasoned with, they were less likely to make moves behind my back. </p><p>This was how we maintained balance, moment by moment and day by day. </p><p>***</p><p>I left the party early to find Ren. </p><p>He was sitting in my room by the open balcony door, watching the city. </p><p>He turned when I entered, giving his head a little shake, his hair swaying. </p><p>I approached, sinking into his lap. I wrapped an arm across his shoulders and he gave me a kiss. </p><p>“What are you thinking about?” I asked. </p><p>“Nothing,” he replied with a small frown. </p><p>“Don’t give me that,” I grinned. </p><p>Ren’s expression grew more serious, as he considered what he was going to tell me. </p><p>“I didn’t like seeing the temple desecrated that way,” he admitted, “The squatters had written all over the walls. They were pissing in the corners…”</p><p>He made a frustrated exhale, “It shouldn’t bother me as much as it did, but I remember going there with Luke… the Academy was just a couple of years old at that point, and… when we were there, I remember how the place felt like a treasure trove, all these relics and artifacts that had been kept safe for hundreds, maybe thousands of years...”</p><p>Ren looked at me with a pained expression in his dark eyes, “I could feel the pull of the Light so strongly in that temple… there were all those memories…”</p><p>I kissed his cheek and stood up, leaving a hand on his shoulder, “Have you talked with Ymir about the assignment Snoke gave you?”</p><p>Snoke was urging Ren to kill not just Luke, but Leia and Han too - three members of his immediate family - it was absurd. </p><p>“Luke tried to kill me, Siobhan,” Ren snapped. </p><p>“I understand that,” I replied, “But General Organa? And Han?”</p><p>“He’s testing my commitment to the Darkside,” Ren glowered, lacing his hands together, “I’m not going to fail him.”</p><p>Ren gripped my forearm, pulling me towards him. He leaned against me, his face resting against my chest. </p><p>I felt him <i>reach</i> for me, and I pulled back some of the layers over my aura. </p><p>We dropped into the Darkside together. </p><p>I could feel the glimmer of the Light in Ren’s heart, it was so different from Yuri. It was like noticing a flash of light at the bottom of a lake, fleeting and indistinct, but there all the same. </p><p>The Darkside rushed around us, keening and hungry. </p><p>“I want to tie you up,” Ren said, wrapping his hand around my hair, flowing loose down my back. </p><p>“Yes,” I sighed. </p><p>We stayed connected in that in-between space of the Force. Sensation and emotion was shared and reflected between us. Ren could feel my thoughts slow into a peaceful hum as he secured rope across my body. His motions were precise and deliberate. </p><p>He created a tight harness, securing my wrists behind me. The rope became a cage that extended down my body - a diamond pattern of rope cinched around my torso. </p><p>I leaned against Ren, following his directions. </p><p>He moved through several positions and bindings. </p><p>I was hogtied on the ground, my wrists bound to my ankles. I watched Ren’s boots as he slowly paced a circle around me. </p><p>He knelt at my side, fingertips travelling down my back, leaving goosebumps as he stroked the skin along my ribs. </p><p>His hand moved up, grabbing for my hair again. Slowly and deliberately, he wrapped it around his hand. He pulled and I made a low groaning cry as pleasure became pain. </p><p>Ren hummed in appreciation. Then he was releasing specific knots, repositioning me. </p><p>I found myself curled forward. Ren tied the chest harness to a point just above my knees. My arms were still secured behind my back, and bound to my ankles with a longer connecting rope. </p><p>The final touch was a bind in my hair. Ren gathered up my long hair, tying it to the same point, just above my knees. </p><p>I was drawn inwards. My knees, the tops of my feet, and my head all rested against the floor. If I opened my eyes, I found myself staring at my thighs and the pattern of tattoos across them. If I tried to look up, the rope caught my hair, tugging at my scalp. </p><p>I was in heaven. </p><p>“You’re being so good for me,” Ren murmured, running his hands along my skin. </p><p>He tested the rope for tightness and pressure on my joints. He <i>reached</i> along my body, able to feel the sensations he was inflicting on me. He ran his fingertips across the back of my neck, making sure there wasn’t too much strain. </p><p>Goosebumps travelled across me in a wave. </p><p>“You’ll tell me if this position hurts your neck,” he said, voice low and calm. </p><p>Instinctively I tried to nod and was rewarded with a tug on my scalp. </p><p>Ren made a small laugh at my expense, “Try again.”</p><p>“Yes…” I said, my voice soft. </p><p>Ren paced another slow circle around me, admiring his work. </p><p>I felt peaceful, allowing my body to settle into the rope and the hard floor beneath me. </p><p>Earlier, Ren had been quick and rough, craving release after several weeks apart. </p><p>Now his lust had become something more intentional. </p><p>Ren took off his clothes. I could hear the fabric rustling as he took the time to neatly fold them. </p><p>He joined me on the floor, kneeling behind me, his large hands resting on my ass. </p><p>I heard him make an appreciative sigh, and he began running the head of his cock between my legs, feeling how slick I was. </p><p>He took the time to tease me, rubbing the head of his cock between my lips and against my clit. </p><p>I was moaning now. </p><p>I wanted to buck my hips, but I couldn’t move with these restraints. Every time I tried to raise my head, the rope pulled at my hair. </p><p>“Siobhan…” Ren hummed, right before he sank into me. </p><p>I made a long cry as I felt him fill me, stretching me with the sudden motion. </p><p>Ren was greedy, wrapping a hand through the back of the harness for leverage. </p><p>I gritted my teeth, curling my head forward, hands opening and closing behind me. </p><p>After those first few thrusts, he slowed his hips into a steady, regular rhythm. </p><p>Once I adjusted to the change in sensation, my body began to respond. </p><p>He stroked me carefully, pressing against those sensitive places inside. I could feel every centimeter of him filling me, bottoming out, stretching me at the entrance. </p><p>Our connection was open. Ren understood exactly what he was doing. </p><p>I gasped, squeezing him, “You...! You feel…!” </p><p>“Use my name,” Ren ordered, starting to pant. </p><p>I could feel his desire, the shuddering pleasure as I submitted to him. </p><p>“Kylo… Ren… please!... please fuck me!... please!” I begged. </p><p>Ren drew out my desire - he drew out heat. He could feel the way my orgasm was building as he stroked his cock inside of me. Each movement of his hips was more pleasurable than the last. </p><p>The bindings were sweet torture. I needed to move, to press against him, but my head was bent down, my wrists secured. </p><p>Ren had me exactly where he wanted me and there was nothing I could do. </p><p>I screamed out my orgasm, clenching around him, hands wriggling, toes curling and uncurling. </p><p>Above me, Ren growled, his hands gripping my ass. </p><p>He began to thrust more quickly now, riding out the last waves of my orgasm. </p><p>“Siobhan!” he shouted, burying himself in me as he came. </p><p>He gave himself a moment to catch his breath, then his fingers were moving over the knots, releasing me from the tight little ball he had created.</p><p>I spread out across my floor like a puddle, panting and sighing with relief. </p><p>Ren quietly laughed, bending over me, covering my back and shoulders with kisses. Afterwards, he began to massage my muscles, helping move blood through my arms and legs, rubbing my hands and my feet. His skin was cool against mine. </p><p>I floated in the freedom of release. I didn’t speak, beyond murmurs and pleased sounds at his gentle touch. </p><p>Ren helped me into bed, then put his pants and shirt back on.</p><p>I lolled on my back, watching him gather up the rope into neatly coiled bundles, and return it to the panel in the wall. </p><p>Ren still loved me. Even after all this time, after everything that had happened between us. </p><p>When he returned to my house, I asked him to just let it be casual. We were too different to make something work between us.</p><p>But, over the past cycle, my feelings for him had deepened. Our moments of connection were special, and I was finding space in my heart for him. </p><p>He took a seat next to me, resting his hand on my belly. His smooth pale skin contrasted with mine, light brown and marked with ink. </p><p>“Earlier, you asked what I was thinking,” Ren began. </p><p>He was much more peaceful and relaxed after sex - his seriousness and intensity used up by the experience. </p><p>I looked over to him, twining my fingers with his. </p><p>“I was remembering one of the last times I spoke with General Organa,” Ren said, looking ahead of him, “When I gave up my old name.”</p><p>He was silent, preparing his next words. </p><p>“Being in that temple brought up so many memories,” he finally said, “Did I tell you about my meeting with Organa? After the Academy?”</p><p>I shook my head, still lying on my back, hair spread out across the sheets. </p><p>Ren frowned, expression drawing in, “All the ways I’ve hurt people don’t compare to how I hurt Leia.”</p><p>I had been floating before, but now Ren had my full attention. </p><p>“I knew we had to talk, but… it was just so much. Lord Ymir arranged the meeting in secret. The New Republic, the Resistance, none of them knew about it,” Ren’s fingers were tightening around mine, “It felt distanced and formal, like a diplomatic meeting…”</p><p>He took another breath, “I had just begun to use the name Kylo Ren. I had just built my mask… I was meditating for hours in the days leading up to it. And I thought I was going to be sick as soon as I saw her.”</p><p>“Ren…” I breathed, gently <i>reaching</i> for him. </p><p>He gave his head a small shake. He didn’t want me to see the memory. </p><p>It was another moment until he spoke again. </p><p>“I looked into my mother’s eyes and told her I was no longer her son. When I pledged my loyalty to Lord Ymir, to the First Order, I knew that, one day, I would be the one to kill her. That will be my sacrifice to the Darkside.”</p><p>Slow tears were rolling down his cheeks. </p><p>I sat up, resting my hand against his cheek. He took a hold of my wrist, an anchor point. Our foreheads touched. </p><p>“I have to do this, Siobhan,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, “Lord Ymir is my family. My heart serves the Darkside… but I still don’t know if I have the strength.”</p><p>It was exactly how I felt about killing Ymir. I listened with a bittersweet ache in my chest. </p><p>I had vowed to move against him. I had said over and over that I was going to kill Ymir, Snoke, and Raj - to remove the three heads of the First Order. After a year, my bold words proved to be empty promises.</p><p>The closer I grew to Ren, the less I wanted to act against him. But I knew that Ren would never let me hurt Ymir. There was also my relationship with Yuri. He would be stuck between his loyalty to the First Order and his relationship with Thess. </p><p>I could feel my resolve ebbing once again. Ren and Yuri were my friends. They mattered to me.</p><p>Ahobri and I had built a house together. </p><p>Ren and I held each other for some time, occupied with our separate thoughts. </p><p>“You should talk with Ymir,” I finally said, “I can’t imagine that he’s pushing you the way Snoke is.”</p><p>“I need to figure this out on my own,” Ren said, retreating into his usual stubbornness. He caught himself, giving my hand a final squeeze, “You make me feel braver. It’s… it’s better with you and Yuri.”</p><p>I kissed him, soft and gentle. </p><p>We moved under the covers, making a cocoon out of the blankets. </p><p>Ren wrapped his arms around me. He kissed the back of my head, his nose buried in my hair. “I love you Siobhan,” he whispered. </p><p>I moved closer to him, running a hand down the outside of his leg. </p><p>Was I really willing to destroy all of this for revenge?</p><p>
  <b>III</b>
</p><p>I suffered my way through the New Republic council meeting on Chandrila. </p><p>Nova crew pulled off the heist against MarTech and the government was scrambling after my attack. </p><p>It was news to the council that MarTech was building military vessels. A small group of politicians had gone behind Chancellor Mon Motha’s back and paid the company to help the Resistance grow their navy, ignoring the disarmament laws.</p><p>Ymir came prepared with the names of the politicians who had set up the deal. He called for their immediate removal on grounds of violating their own laws and policies. The way he argued it, they were caught supporting an organization that was designated as a splinter militia with no ties to the government.</p><p>The rest of the council members were upset. </p><p>Leaders openly argued with Chancellor Mon Motha. </p><p>There were motions to have General Organa brought in. </p><p>I received a share of the attention. Wealthy men and women stood in their robes, their honors and medals on display. They hurled anger and insults at me for the destructive actions of my crews. </p><p>I weathered it calmly. I didn’t need to defend myself against their accusations. Ymir did all the talking, completely unflappable. He radiated confidence, dressed in his plain robes - no need for First Order colors or honors with the law on our side. We were the victims here, protecting ourselves from the unlawful actions of a few rogue senators. </p><p>Ymir had complete control of the room, manipulating the politicians with their own rules. </p><p>As I stood patiently in the booth, I thought about Ren. I imagined the meeting where he told his mother that Ben Solo was no more. </p><p>They had groomed him to be one of the leaders here, and instead he was serving the First Order, desperate to kill all the ties to his past. </p><p>At Ymir’s side, standing in my dark robes with lightsabers prominent on my belt, I thought about sacrifice. </p><p>***</p><p>Ymir asked me to join him on Starkiller Base after the meeting on Chandrila. </p><p>I protested, seeing if I could get out of it, but Ymir insisted. </p><p>I followed him into open space, doing the twelve hour trip in Sawai alone. I hadn’t brought Thess. I didn’t see any reason to drag her out for just one meeting in the New Republic. </p><p>It had been at least three cycles since I had visited Starkiller Base. All I knew was that construction and recruiting were ahead of schedule. They were pushing tens of thousands of conscripts through basic every twelve weeks; they had more than doubled their output of soldiers. </p><p>Ren had been officially stationed to Starkiller Base for the first year, but now it was Admiral Clive who held the honor of floating in the Unknown Regions, guarding a planet that no one knew anything about. </p><p>I popped out of hyperspace. Ymir’s ship was already descending into atmosphere. I took time to survey the planet. It looked so different from how I remembered. </p><p>The stretch of clearcutting and mountaintop removal along the equator was a deep gash in the surface. Work was being done on the hole that would become the mouth of the cannon. </p><p>It made my breath catch in my throat to see how much had changed. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> towards the planet, feeling for the Kyber crystals. </p><p>The sensation I found was muddy and muted - a low, mournful chorus. </p><p>Ymir was pinging my comms. “We’ll land on the Base,” he said, completely unaware of my simmering shock and horror. </p><p>I dropped down through the cloudy atmosphere. I took a scenic route, skimming along mountain ranges and over the dark forests, feeling for everything that had changed. </p><p>The Base had expanded. It was easily twice the size of what it was before. I noticed new buildings and hangars. </p><p>The yard was massive now. As a sailed overhead, I knew there were far more than ten thousand soldiers training beneath me. </p><p>I landed in the hangar after Ymir. </p><p>There was a formal welcome party waiting. A small collection of officers and leadership were assembled in front of four units of stormtroopers. </p><p>Ymir had disembarked and was already talking with Phasma, her chrome armor gleaming. </p><p>I strode over to the group, walking confidently in my Sith robes. </p><p>The stormtroopers moved into a salute. </p><p>Admiral Clive stepped forward to shake my hand, “Madam Zhang, welcome to the Base. Lord Ymir mentioned it has been quite some time since your last visit.”</p><p>The Admiral had first met me as a prisoner of war, the woman who had seduced Kylo Ren, but those memories were buried. First Order leadership no longer dared to show me any kind of disrespect. I was a Sith in my own right, and the second-highest ranking person on this Base. </p><p>“Yeah, I took the long way in,” I replied, shaking the Admiral’s hand, “I’ve been following the reports, but I can’t believe how different everything looks now.”</p><p>Phasma was approaching, followed by Ymir and Astrid.</p><p>“Madam Zhang,” she greeted, stiff and formal. Her accent was just as posh as I remembered. </p><p>I wondered if she and Ren had ever hooked up. He had never mentioned it, and I had never asked. </p><p>“Captain,” I said with a smile, shaking her chrome armored hand, “How many recruits do we have in this batch?”</p><p>“Twenty-five thousand, madam,” Phasma replied. </p><p>I made a low whistle, “Yeah, I was just telling the Admiral that I’ve been following the numbers, but it’s completely different seeing it in person.”</p><p>“Admiral Clive and Captain Phasma will be giving us a tour of the new facilities,” Ymir said, “It’s barely been a cycle since I was last here and there are still buildings that I haven’t seen.”</p><p>Astrid stepped forward, and I couldn’t stop my smile. “Madam Zhang, it’s been much too long.”</p><p>“Doctor Vogt, I’m so happy to see you,” I replied. </p><p>I warmly shook Astrid’s hand, drinking in her beautiful face. </p><p>She was just as radiant as I remembered. She had such clear blue eyes. There were touches of red in her cheeks and the tip of her nose from the cold. A couple of loose curls were peeking out from the bottom of her black, fur-lined hat.</p><p>Thankfully, she joined us for the tour. The Admiral and Captain Phasma led the way. They showed us the expanded hangars for pilot training, and the expanded barracks which could house up to thirty thousand conscripts at a time. </p><p>Ymir did most of the talking. I trailed towards the back of the group, taking in the sights and <i>reaching</i> through the planet. </p><p>The Base was constructed in a valley, and I thought the surrounding mountains looked different. I couldn’t feel the Kyber crystal caves. </p><p>The Admiral and Captain Phasma talked numbers and details, allowing my silence to go unnoticed. </p><p>We entered the command center, touring through the different wings of the building, meeting with several department heads along the way. I shook hands and pretended to remember the people that remembered me. </p><p>We gathered into a conference room with a couple of Astrid’s underlings. There, Captain Phasma, Astrid, and the two of her scientists gave us a status update on their mental conditioning and performance optimization studies. </p><p>Astrid and Captain Phasma proudly presented a year’s worth of data on over one hundred thousand subjects. </p><p>It was difficult for me to follow most of the information. They moved through the charts more quickly than I could process the data. I didn’t understand most of the terms they used, but I understood the broad strokes. </p><p>The conscripts were being brainwashed using a combination of mental conditioning and drugs. </p><p>I had known about this. It was talked about with euphemisms and guarded language. Now, Astrid and Phasma were explaining the specific procedures. </p><p>The conscripts were given injections of a delicate combination of drugs that reduced panic responses and fostered obedience. </p><p>After a year, Astrid’s program had been wildly successful. They had drastically reduced the failure rate for conscripts. It was now under five percent. </p><p>I couldn’t help but think about Thess and her spot in the woods for drinking and gambling. There was no way a place like that existed anymore. </p><p>I thought about the soldiers in the yard who had bolted as the two TIE fighters tumbled out of the sky. The new units would stand still, waiting for orders from their commanding officer. </p><p>Ymir was beaming with pride as the presentation ended. </p><p>“Captain Phasma, Doctor Vogt, your work has exceeded my expectations,” he said, rising to his feet to shake their hands. </p><p>Phasma managed a stilted, “Thank you, Lord Ymir.”</p><p>Astrid was blushing furiously, her cheeks reddening even more with embarrassment, “Thank you, Lord Ymir. I couldn’t have done it without the effort of my team.”</p><p>“Of course,” Ymir said, with a warm smile.</p><p>Another meeting lay ahead, and Astrid walked me to the door. </p><p>“You’ve accomplished a lot. I remember when you first learned about the promotion,” I told her, with a playful light in my eyes. </p><p>“You’re too kind,” Astrid said, “What have you been up to? I’ve been buried in my work and I only see our standard reports.”</p><p>“We should have a drink later,” I said, touching her upper arm. </p><p>“I’d like that,” she replied. </p><p>I wanted to swim in her gaze. </p><p>The engineers were also working to align the mass of Kyber crystals into a focal point that would direct the path of the energy beam. </p><p>Every vein of Kyber crystals had been mined from the planet. The caves were gone.</p><p>Next we were briefed by Juall’s engineering team. </p><p>I understood much more of the information in their presentation than I did from Astrid and Phasma’s talk, but it took effort to stay awake after hours of sitting in a dim room. </p><p>There were many different aspects of this project, each with their own challenges and pitfalls. </p><p>A team was responsible for the mechanism that would steal energy from the planet’s parent star. Another team was developing a thermal oscillator to stabilize that massive amount of energy. There were so many opportunities for failure; when handling this much power, the biggest risk was blowing yourself up. </p><p> </p><p>When it was complete, Starkiller Base would be an engineering marvel. </p><p>Everyone, except Ymir, was surprised that I had questions for the team. I wanted to better understand the systems and mechanisms. </p><p>It took a moment for the engineers to adjust their expectations of me. I was a Sith, a mysterious warrior in black robes. They didn’t expect me to ask technical questions about weapons development. Once they got over the shock, they were happy to talk through the details. </p><p>I was exhaustively walked through a couple different design blueprints. I noted that the Admiral’s eyes were beginning to glaze over.</p><p>By the end, I was excited enough with the new technology that I found myself able to forget that this weapon would be responsible for killing billions of people. It could destroy an entire star system in one go. </p><p>We were creating something new - technology that had never existed before. </p><p>***</p><p>After that briefing we had a formal dinner in the main building. </p><p>The place was still as harsh as I remembered; the walls, ceilings, and floors were all made out of concrete; but, after a year, the building felt more lived in. </p><p>Some officers joined us for dinner, along with members of Astrid and Juall’s team. </p><p>Phasma was out of her chrome armor, wearing a very well-tailored officer’s uniform that she looked supremely uncomfortable in. </p><p>Ymir made a toast, honoring the growth and prosperity of the First Order. </p><p>I drank wine and picked at my food. </p><p>After the dinner was over, I finally got time alone with Astrid. </p><p>The officers were going to the lounge for drinks and cigars, jockeying for attention with Ymir. </p><p>Astrid found me, linking her arm with mine, “I thought we could go somewhere more quiet.”</p><p>I followed her down a floor to a cozy, dim little study. </p><p>She poured our drinks while I took a seat on the formal, leather sofa. </p><p>“It really is good to see you,” I told her as she handed me my glass, “You’re just as beautiful as I remember.”</p><p>Astrid pressed her lips together to fight her smile. A rosy blush colored her cheeks. </p><p>“You’ve changed,” she replied, giving me a thoughtful look, “You’re carrying yourself differently.”</p><p>“It’s been a hell of a year.” </p><p>In my Sith robes, she couldn’t even see my tattoos. </p><p>“People still talk about your attack on the Smuggler’s Alliance,” Astrid said, looking over the lip of her glass as she took a drink. </p><p>“Do you want to know what happened?” I teased. </p><p>“I’d love to.” </p><p>Astrid heard the more glamorous version of the truth. </p><p>I told her about being woken up in bed to Yuri banging on my door; the rush of activity afterwards as we began putting together a plan, taking into account the safety of my house, along with making a decisive military response; doing damage control for the crews that had suddenly discovered they had been doing business with the First Order. </p><p>I didn’t spend too much time describing the fight itself. That experience was a frenzy - I wasn’t proud to know I had killed Tynne. I didn’t like being known as the woman who killed Matthias Krull, broadcasting his corpse as my warning to the Galaxy. </p><p>Astrid’s eyes lit up as I fed her a simpler story: I faced an enemy single handed, and I emerged victorious. </p><p>“Now it’s your turn,” I said, getting up to pour us another round. </p><p>Astrid talked about her experiences on the Base. The past year had many ups and downs. She shared some of the difficulties she had encountered during her research, the challenges of working with conscripts from so many different planets. She felt proud of herself for growing as a leader, telling me Phasma was an inspiration. </p><p>“I’m aiming for another step up,” Astrid said, with a determined gleam in her eye. “I’m planning to apply for a leadership position at the research hospital on Corellia.”</p><p>“Had enough of the Unknown Regions?” I said with a wink. </p><p>“That’s part of it,” Astrid admitted, “We’ve established the groundwork for my project here, and I can consult from anywhere.”</p><p>“Have you talked with Ymir about it?”</p><p>“We have a meeting scheduled tomorrow morning,” she replied with a nod. </p><p>I dared to move in closer, sliding my hand along her cheek, my fingers softly brushing through her short bob. I gave her a kiss, relishing her gentle sigh. </p><p>She kissed me back, soft and sweet. </p><p>“It almost feels like you’re teasing me,” she said, her voice soft, “I don’t know why you think I’m interesting.”</p><p>I kissed her again, drawing her close, “You are one of the smartest and most beautiful women I’ve ever met.”</p><p>Astrid was smiling now. Her cheeks were warm. </p><p>“You are such a temptation,” she said. </p><p>“I’m more than a temptation,” I growled, moving my hands under her ass. </p><p>“I know you are,” Astrid laughed, resting a gentle hand against my chest, “But I can’t do this. I’m not going to risk it.”</p><p>I brought my hands back to myself, giving her a mischievous smile. </p><p>“We should get back to the party,” she said. But couldn’t help giving me one last kiss. </p><p>Astrid and I returned to the lounge, surrounded by the self-important officers and other stuffed shirts. </p><p>I stayed in Ymir’s general orbit. Astrid stayed at my side. </p><p>Phasma  asked me a couple of questions about my missions and my work on Taris. After our fight and her apology, she didn’t seem to know how to talk to me. </p><p>The woman was so incredibly similar to Ren: they stood around the same height; both were awkward and uncomfortable in social situations; they were soldiers, through and through - organizing their lives through rank and protocols. When they didn’t have a script to follow, they were lost. </p><p>I was grateful when Ymir called it a night. </p><p>We returned to our suite together. </p><p>I flopped onto the sofa and sprawled out with one foot on the ground and both arms overhead. </p><p>“Let’s have a nightcap,” Ymir said, pouring us both whiskey. </p><p>“Yes,” I agreed, without moving. I only pushed myself up when he came to sit down. </p><p>“What did you and Astrid talk about?” he asked, stretching an arm along the back of the sofa. </p><p>I was still rearranging myself, tugging at the outer layers of my robes to loosen them. </p><p>Ymir watched me patiently. </p><p>“She was telling me she’s gunning for a position on Corellia,” I said. </p><p>“That’s the right move for her. It’s a competitive seat, however. All the other applicants are just as strongly qualified.”</p><p>“Is there anything you aren’t involved in?” I teased. </p><p>“I’m involved in everything,” he said, giving me a droll stare, “What have you felt from the Kyber crystals?”</p><p>I paused before I answered. </p><p>“They feel… muddy,” I said, feeling suddenly suspicious of his intentions.</p><p>“Reach for the crystals with me,” Ymir said, “I want to understand your impression of them.”</p><p>I gave him a sour look, “I’m going to spend twenty four hours in hyperspace so you can ask me how some crystals feel?”</p><p>“Siobhan…” Ymir cautioned. </p><p>I made an effort to settle myself. </p><p>Ymir took a cool sip of his drink, “I want this time together. We seem to have fewer opportunities to train these days.”</p><p>It was oddly casual, sitting on the sofa, drinks in hand, exploring the Force together. </p><p>I felt Ymir at my side and I opened some of my aura to him. He experienced what I felt, how the chorus of energy had changed. The crystals had been ripped from the earth, separated from structures that took thousands upon thousands of years to develop. They were torn apart from one another and were being shaped, reconfigured. </p><p>Everything about them was muted. </p><p>I could make out a tremble of horror in the chorus. Death was all that lay ahead…</p><p>There was a shift in Ymir’s energy. </p><p>The Darkside was responding, prideful, growling, and always hungry. It could smell the slaughter coming. </p><p>Ymir knew how to bend and shape the world he lived in. This planet was only one step in his larger plans for conquest. When he was done, the entire Galaxy would be under his control. </p><p>In an instant, I understood his connection with the Darkside. </p><p>I could feel, truly feel, the exact point where the energy touched his soul. </p><p>My mind was reeling. My first instinct was to withdraw, the same way I had done all those times before. But, instead of pulling away, I gathered myself and <i>reached</i> for that connection point, wanting to taste it. </p><p>On the sofa, in the physical world, I had my arm outstretched, fingers spread. Inside the meditative space, I had my hand around his heart. I understood the bond. Ymir was never separated from the energy of the Force. </p><p>My hand came to rest against Ymir’s chest. I felt his shirt beneath my fingertips. </p><p>Ymir carried the energy of the Force within himself. He was always open to it.</p><p>“That’s right,” Ymir growled. </p><p>We rose out of the meditation together. </p><p>As I blinked open my eyes, I found Ymir gazing at me. I returned my outstretched hand to my lap. </p><p>“You’ve given up part of yourself. To the Darkside,” I said, noticing how my head was gently nodding as I took in the realization. </p><p>“I have,” he answered. </p><p>“I wondered,” I said, “You’ve just always felt so… powerful. It’s because of that connection point. It’s always there for you isn’t it? Every moment?”</p><p>My words were feverish, tumbling out of my mouth. </p><p>“So now you understand,” he said calmly, “During our night together, I felt how much stronger you had become, but I didn’t sense that you had the same connection.”</p><p>I put my drink down, shaking my head, “Ymir… the Darkside has been calling me. It pulls at me, but… I just… I haven’t been willing to...” The experience was too big for words. </p><p>With hesitation and fear in my heart, I opened my aura up to Ymir.</p><p>I shared with him the impressions of my meditations. </p><p>He felt the pull of the Darkside, and my uncertainty about giving myself over. </p><p>Ymir took my hand, gazing at me with his warm brown eyes. “I want you to leave yourself open for this conversation,” he told me. </p><p>Slowly, I nodded my head, resisting every urge to cloak my aura again. Ymir’s hand was wrapped gently around mine, large, strong and calloused. My hand was smaller, decorated with tattoos and crimson polish. </p><p>“Giving yourself over to the Darkside isn’t a simple process,” he explained, “It’s not something that happens in an instant, one time. It’s a daily practice.”</p><p>I opened my mouth to speak, but I didn’t have a question ready. There were so many fragments of thoughts swirling through my mind, all getting in the way of each other. </p><p>Ymir waited. </p><p>“But you have to give up something, don’t you?” I finally asked, “When I meditate, it feels like an exchange. I give the Darkside part of myself for that connection.”</p><p>“That’s correct,” Ymir said, “But it isn’t a direct trade. You have to leave yourself open to the energy. It’s a lifelong practice. Early on in my training, I still stumbled and faltered, even after establishing that bond.”</p><p>He waited a moment for me to absorb the meaning before he went on. </p><p>“I experienced my first true connection with the Darkside on Korriban,” he said, “Would you like to see the memory?”</p><p>“Yes, I would,” I said, surprised by his openness. </p><p>We were still holding hands, connected skin to skin. Ymir closed his eyes and pulled a memory to the surface, sharing it with me. </p><p>In my mind’s eye, I was returned to Korriban, except in Ymir’s body. He was about my age.<br/>
I felt his pain.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Korriban is harsh - a desperate, red wasteland. </p>
  <p>The agony and suffering of long dead Sith acolytes follows me through the Academy, reaching into my dreams when I sleep. </p>
  <p>Still, it’s only a shadow compared to my own pain. </p>
  <p>The memory of Sophia’s scream as she burned alive in the cockpit of her TIE fighter drowns out the disembodied screams of the acolytes until they are just a whisper. </p>
  <p>I visit the grassland and it carves away at my heart.</p>
</blockquote><p>For the very first time, I saw Ymir’s wife, Sophia. Or, I saw the vision of her that the grassland showed him.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>I watch my wife standing with our child in the chest-high grasses. </p>
  <p>She is tall and regal, with high cheekbones and a strong jawline. Her expression is determined. Her hair is the color of honey - short, in a standard officer’s cut. In her arms is my infant daughter. </p>
  <p>The baby is healthy - chubby and fussing. Her little arms and hands are moving, grasping, trying to explore. </p>
  <p>In an instant, the image shifts, and my wife is burned and blackened. </p>
  <p>Her hair is gone. </p>
  <p>I can see shiny red tissue and muscle revealed between her brittle, cracked skin. </p>
  <p>“Sophia!” I scream, unable to stop myself from running towards her. </p>
  <p>In her arms my little girl is wounded in the same way - charred and burned. My blood runs cold as I hear her infant screams. </p>
  <p>Sophia’s voice echoes in my mind, “Ymir, my love, why weren’t you there? Why didn’t you save us?”</p>
  <p>I know it’s an illusion. </p>
  <p>My wife is dead. Not even this much of her body survived. </p>
  <p>I sink to the ground.</p>
  <p>Helpless. </p>
  <p>Hopeless. </p>
  <p>The creature in the grassland is hungry. It is feeding off my emotions, feeding off my connection with the Darkside. </p>
  <p>I’m weeping. My body is trembling with hurt and sorrow. </p>
  <p>The war is lost. </p>
  <p>My wife and child are dead. </p>
  <p>There is nothing left for me. </p>
  <p>And at the same time, this epiphany rings hollow. </p>
  <p>I’ve never experienced a loss so profound, and that’s the space the Darkside is trying to fill. </p>
  <p>I can feel the Darkside scrabbling around my heart, calling for me. </p>
  <p>The creature’s energy burns my skin as it tries to devour me. </p>
  <p>I open myself to the Darkside - to that deep chasm of energy. </p>
  <p>The creature retreats, pushed away by my power. </p>
  <p>I rise to my feet, leaving the grassland, leaving the illusion of Sophia and my child behind. </p>
</blockquote><p>Tears were silently streaming down my cheeks. </p><p>“Ymir…” I breathed, gripping his hand tightly. </p><p>He was calm, looking at me with kindness. There were two paths of tears down his own cheeks. </p><p>I had never seen him cry before. </p><p>“That was the first time I gave up part of myself to the Darkside, and I had to work hard to keep that connection open. I still do,” he said. </p><p>I sniffled, wiping at my eyes. I could feel his love for Sophia. It was a sensation I had never experienced before; it was at once euphoric and heartbreaking. It made my breath catch in my throat. I was overwhelmed by the emotion.</p><p>“Ymir, I’m so sorry,” I said, not certain what exactly I was sorry for. </p><p>His hand was moving up my arm, pulling me close to him. </p><p>Our lips touched. His hand was against my back as I leaned into him. </p><p>“Leave yourself open,” he said, his voice low. His lips brushed against mine. </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>I still had a reluctant, shrinking feeling in my heart as I gradually released my entire hold over my aura. It was so incredibly personal and revealing. </p><p>Ymir’s hands were pulling at my robes, unbuckling the wide fastener of my belt. </p><p>He removed the top layers, allowing them to slide off my shoulders. I was left in a black tunic, pants, and my boots. </p><p>“Go kneel,” he instructed, guiding me to take a place at his feet. </p><p>I rested my head against Ymir’s knee, gazing up at him. His hand stroked along the top of my hair. </p><p>I could feel him <i>reaching</i> through me, able to see my recent meditations. </p><p>He heard the call of the Darkside in my mind, the energy lapping against my skin. </p><p>Ymir felt my fear and hesitation. He knew I wasn’t willing to give myself over. </p><p>“You should practice this,” he encouraged, “You understand surrender better than most. Imagine how powerful you could become.”</p><p>I was silent, feeling fresh tears already pushing at my lower lids. </p><p>“I don’t think I can be like you,” I whispered. </p><p>Ymir reached his hand beneath my chin, tilting my face up to look at him, “I don’t need you to be like me.”</p><p>My heart was filled with clashing emotions - pride and hurt. </p><p>“This planet, the Kyber crystals, they don’t want to be used as a weapon,” I said. My voice was soft and distant, “Ymir, you can’t be blind to that.”</p><p>“Siobhan, I’ve already explained this. The Kyber crystals are conduits of the Force. They focus and reflect energy. They are simply a tool to be used, and tools don’t care about what they create or destroy.”</p><p>With our energy connected, I couldn’t hide the wave of horror that came over me in the face of Ymir’s unyielding logic. </p><p>He made a wolfish, hungry smile. “Go ahead,” he said, indulging me. </p><p>“You’re chewing through this planet, and all these people,” my voice was choked with a wave of tears, “If I give myself to the Darkside, I’m worried that I will stop caring, like you.”</p><p>“You really find me so cold?” Ymir said, stroking my cheek with his thumb. </p><p>I leaned against him, closing my eyes. I didn’t know what to say. </p><p>Ymir kept his aura <i>reaching</i> through me, exploring the tangle of desire, fear, hate, and respect. </p><p>I felt his own desire rising. </p><p>“Take off your clothes, then get back on your knees,” he said. </p><p>We had only had sex once, that first time in my house, cycles ago.</p><p>This was so much more than physical need. Our connection was deeper than that. </p><p>I did what he asked, removing my boots, shirt, pants and underwear. </p><p>Both of us were silent. </p><p>I returned to my knees, sitting still in front of Ymir. </p><p>“Put your hands in your lap,” he said. His voice was smooth and calm. </p><p>I moved my hands, gently resting them on my thighs. There were tattoos that Ymir hadn’t seen yet, covering my thighs, extending just past my knees.  </p><p>Ymir reached a hand out, cradling the side of my face. I closed my eyes, leaning against him.</p><p>“You’ve been drawn to my power since you first saw me. You felt my connection to the Darkside,” he said, “This is your opportunity to claim it for yourself.”</p><p>“I’ve already given up so much…” I whispered. </p><p>The words were painful to say aloud, but with my aura uncloaked, Ymir would be able to feel the thought whether I spoke it or not. </p><p>Ymir could see the rush of memories - the kids I had fought with when there was no other outlet for my rage. He felt the pull of regret in my heart when I abandoned my mother and brother. He felt the hollowness in my chest as stormtroopers dragged freedom fighters from their tunnels in shackles. </p><p>“You’ve become stronger,” Ymir said, “But you always seem to shrink back when presented with real power.”</p><p>“I never needed much.”</p><p>Ymir laughed, a deep genuine sound. His hands were planted on his thighs. </p><p>I looked up at him, feeling small. </p><p>“Siobhan, I want you at my side,” he said, placing a hand on my upper arm, “Let go of your fear. Come with me, and I will give you more than you ever imagined.”</p><p>He meant it. We were connected. I was inside his heart, inside his thoughts. </p><p>What did the cost matter, when you were pursuing control of the Galaxy?</p><p>Ymir was guiding me upright. He pulled me close to straddle his lap. </p><p>He was kissing my neck. </p><p>I was warm and moaning. </p><p>His lips travelled down my chest. He sucked on my nipples, teeth pulling at the barbells. </p><p>“Ymir…” I sighed, melting for him. </p><p>I took off his cloak, jacket, and shirt, then knelt down to unlace his boots. </p><p>He was hard. His pants were tenting as he stood up. </p><p>I smiled, dragging my tongue along the outline of his cock. The fabric was dry and scratchy. </p><p>Ymir undid his pants. I pulled his underwear down his hips, taking note of the scar I had left across his abdomen. The skin was slightly raised, paler than the rest. </p><p>His body was a fascination to me. He was very muscular. His body hair was iron gray, dusted with strands of silver and white. He was a perfect specimen - large, strong, and handsome. </p><p>I knelt on the floor, pulling the flat of my tongue along the length of his cock. </p><p>I wrapped my lips around the head, and I heard Ymir groan as he tilted his hips against my face. </p><p>“Keep your hands on your thighs,” he instructed. </p><p>His own hands roamed across me. </p><p>Ymir watched as I bobbed my head along his length, applying pressure with my tongue and lips. </p><p>I started off slow, and relatively shallow. Once Ymir began to use his hips, I began trying to take in more of him. </p><p>He was big and he liked watching me struggle. He wrapped his hand around the back of my head, guiding me. </p><p>I loved hearing his growls and grunts as I sucked on his cock. </p><p>Ymir wasn’t focused on inflicting violence or pain. He was taking pleasure from my effort to please him - from my willingness to submit. </p><p>Directing me with his hand, Ymir had me stand up and we moved to his bedroom. </p><p>“You’re not allowed to come until I tell you,” he reminded me. </p><p>“Yes, Lord Ymir,” I answered. </p><p>He directed me towards a wall, “Bend over. Brace yourself with your hands.”</p><p>I did as I was told as Ymir got himself into position behind me. </p><p>“I want you to call me Master,” he said. </p><p>“Yes, Master,” I echoed. </p><p>With my hands planted against the wall, he spread my legs and fucked me hard, stretching me, filling me. </p><p>When he had what he wanted, I was instructed to lay back in a chair. The first orgasm Ymir let me have was from his tongue lapping at my clit, his fingers curling inside of me. </p><p>After that, we moved to his bed. </p><p>Ymir loved control and submission. I felt the way his body responded as I crawled on my hands and knees - as I called him ‘Master’, even though I hated it. </p><p>He made me wait for my second orgasm. </p><p>Connected to one another, left open through the Force, Ymir was able to completely manipulate my body. </p><p>“Siobhan, I’m going to restrict your breath,” he said, “I’m going to be very careful, but I’m not going to go easy on you.”</p><p>A thrill of fear ran through me. </p><p>I remembered our first encounter, with his hand around my throat and my desperate overpowering orgasm as he put pressure on my windpipe. </p><p>“Yes, Master.”</p><p>For this moment, he had my complete trust. I was giving him power over me. </p><p>That’s what he wanted to feel. </p><p>Ymir was connected to all of my physical sensations. He was also tapped into my emotions. </p><p>I wanted him. </p><p>I wanted his touch. </p><p>Here, in his bed, I’d give him anything that he asked. </p><p>This time he was more possessive, driving into me, fucking me in different positions. </p><p>At first, the pressure on my throat was light - he was choking me with the Force, not using any physical touch. </p><p>As we moved through different positions, he changed the intensity of sensation. </p><p>He loved to hear me gasp his name. </p><p>He loved to know that I was entirely under his control. </p><p>I called him Master, and I begged for his permission to come. </p><p>As he approached his limit, I was on top of him, my thighs gripping his hips, my hands on his muscular belly. </p><p>Ymir had a firm <i>grip</i> on my throat. I was mumbling, incoherent and delirious with pleasure. As I orgasmed, he took a hold of my hips, thrusting into me as I spasmed around him. </p><p>For the final moments, Ymir scooped me beneath him, sinking his full weight onto me, his hands on my hips, still keeping control of the muscles of my throat. </p><p>I gasped his name, staring up into his eyes. </p><p>I felt his cock jump inside me. I felt his warmth. He kept his hold on my throat until his orgasm was done. </p><p>Then he <i>released</i> me. </p><p>I gratefully pulled a full breath of air into my lungs. </p><p>Ymir put his hand on my belly, enjoying the sensations. </p><p>We lay side by side in bed, open and connected even as we drifted towards sleep. </p><p>***</p><p>We woke to the console alarm. </p><p>“Are we training?” I asked, sitting up and rubbing at my eyes.</p><p>“I thought we might,” Ymir said, with a teasing note in his voice. </p><p>In the cozy darkness of early morning, Ymir pulled me to him for a kiss. </p><p>We weren’t in a hurry. </p><p>I left Ymir’s bedroom to grab my training clothes, tugging on a layer of thermals. </p><p>I heard a service droid pass through the main room. </p><p>When I returned, Ymir was drinking caffeine, still in bed. </p><p>I poured a cup and took a cross-legged seat on top of the sheets. </p><p>“I’m just curious,” I said, taking a grateful sip of the warm drink, “You and Ren both talk about creating a new Sith Empire. Have you found anyone else to train?”</p><p>“So far I’ve been very selective,” Ymir said, “You and Kylo Ren are both exceptional, and I don’t want to lower my standards.”</p><p>“Ren and Yuri talk about re-establishing the Academy on Korriban, like it’s going to happen any day now.”</p><p>Ymir smiled, “It’s the kind of environment where they grew up,” he said, “They’re excited to create the kind of school they wished the Jedi Academy had been.”</p><p>“Don’t expect me to be a teacher,” I replied. </p><p>“You’d be a terrible influence,” Ymir teased, his brown eyes sparkling. </p><p>His expression grew more thoughtful. </p><p>“Siobhan, I want you to serve as my right hand,” he said, “You have a talent for politics-”</p><p>I grimaced, “I hate playing nice with these stuffed shirts.”</p><p>“You want to stay in the Outer Rim forever, maintaining our relationship with the Hutts?” Ymir said, raising an eyebrow. </p><p>I paused. A dozen sarcastic comments were at the tip of my tongue, but Ymir was right. This past year had kept me busy, doing the work I wanted to be doing. But I knew that I’d get bored of it one day. </p><p>“I’m thinking about your future,” he said, “You should, too.”</p><p>“So what about Ren?” </p><p>“He’s a warrior and an ascetic,” Ymir replied, “He has no skill or interest in the diplomatic responsibilities of the First Order. Once we are no longer focused on war, I expect him and Yuri to take over responsibilities of our Sith Academy.”</p><p>“And how much longer are we keeping Snoke in the picture?”</p><p>Ymir gave me a look, “Did something happen?”</p><p>I shook my head, “Nothing is happening, with either of you. Is this all just talk?”</p><p>“Maybe you do belong in the Outer Rim.” </p><p>The sounds of soldier’s boots was coming up from the icy concrete outside. Barked call and response orders echoed in the yard.</p><p>Ymir finished his mug. “Siobhan, we’ll move against the Superior General when I say so.” </p><p>I met his eyes. He was serious. </p><p>“Yes, Master,” I replied with a flirtatious glint in my eyes. </p><p>Ymir smiled and leaned forward to kiss me. </p><p>“Let’s go down to the yard,” he said. </p><p>
  <b>IV</b>
</p><p>I returned to my house. </p><p>Life continued on. </p><p>Arjun didn’t survive his demotion. Euora and I replaced him with Mel. Arjun went with it for a few weeks, dragging his feet and complaining. </p><p>We had to take action after he tried to rally a group of supporters, broadcasting his attempt to split from Nova crew. </p><p>Euora took care of him. </p><p>After discovering the activities of MarTech in the expansion zone, Ren had been assigned to patrol and monitor the area. His quest to find the map to Skywalker was put on hold. His visits to Taris became less frequent. </p><p>I was hesitant to continue pushing my meditations with the Darkside, but Ymir’s words cycled through the back of my mind. </p><p>I could become his right hand - truly. </p><p>Ahobri and I talked about what that would mean for us. She was more understanding than Euora; Ahobri wasn’t pushing me to move against the First Order. </p><p>We felt like we were at the top. </p><p>Our work had ripple effects across the Galaxy. </p><p>We had more wealth than we ever dared to hope for. </p><p>And Ymir was promising to give me more. </p><p>***</p><p>I had been practicing surrendering myself to the Darkside. </p><p>I was starting to become comfortable with the hungry, pulling sensation. </p><p>Yuri was fascinated by these experiences - neither Ren or Ymir had guided him as they dropped this deeply into the Force. </p><p>The feeling of imbalance was stronger here. I always emerged unsettled, even as I practiced letting go. </p><p>“I want you to practice with the Light while we meditate together,” I told Yuri. </p><p>“Why?” Yuri asked, nose curling with disgust.</p><p>It was late afternoon. My meditation chamber was filled with a heavy golden glow, as the two suns began their evening retreat below the horizon. </p><p>“The Force is made up of those two pieces, and you connect more strongly with the Light,” I said, patiently. </p><p>He grimaced. Yuri had all but given up his exploration with the Light as he committed himself to Ren.</p><p>“Do you want me to give you a direct order?” I teased. </p><p>“If it means that much to you…” Yuri sighed. </p><p>“It does,” I said with a smile, “Let’s try it.”</p><p>We sat across from each other, cross-legged, our training clothes still slightly damp with sweat. </p><p>It took longer for us to drop into the meditation this way. Yuri was emptying himself - a skill he hadn’t used in almost a cycle. </p><p>I held myself back, wanting to feel the Light moving through Yuri before I sank into the dark.<br/>
We found ourselves drifting in the in-between space of the Force - two halves of one whole. </p><p>I was surrounded by nothingness, cool and quiet and vast. </p><p>Yuri and I simply drifted in the sensation for some time. I could feel him next to me, a candle in the fog. </p><p>The Darkside was here too, the familiar hungry keening sounds rose around us, reached for us. </p><p>I left my heart open to it. </p><p>Ymir’s words had been on my mind. </p><p>I hadn’t allowed the Darkside in, because I was frightened of what might happen. At first, I thought I was being wise, careful. Now, I just felt like a coward. </p><p>I began <i>pushing</i> my way down, deep into that infinite well beneath me. </p><p>With Yuri embracing his connection with the Light, I felt something new. As I moved into the Dark, there was a glimmer in the distance. </p><p>There was a high, crystalline, chiming sound. </p><p>I was drawn to it. </p><p>Tendrils of energy brushed along my skin, sliding between my fingers, over my arms, brushing across my face. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> for that little shred of light. Each time I did, it seemed so close, but I always found it just out of reach. </p><p>The deeper I pressed into the energy, the louder it became.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>I know this sound. I’ve heard it before.</p>
</blockquote><p>Yuri’s voice echoed through my mind.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>It’s the Kyber crystals. Reach for them with me.</p>
</blockquote><p>I said.</p><p>At my side, Yuri’s energy was hazy. In the middle of the Dark, I was <i>reaching</i> for the Light, shining like a beacon in front of me. </p><p>I felt a tremor in the Kyber crystal energy. It was faint, but swelling like a wave. The cries were mournful. I could make out sounds that were almost words - the meaning slipping through my thoughts. </p><p>The Kyber crystals were being used to feed the Darkside. They would give it billions of lives - blood, death, and chaos. All this would flow into a pit that would never be satisfied. </p><p>I let the sound and emotion arrive without bracing against it. It engulfed me and Yuri. </p><p>He was startled, shrinking back with fear.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Stay with me.</p>
</blockquote><p>I encouraged him. There was a determined clench in my back teeth. </p><p>I was striving, moving through the heavy chorus, my heart open to whatever lay ahead. </p><p>The Light shone in front of me. </p><p>My hand was outstretched, <i>grasping</i> for it. </p><p>I made contact. </p><p>My breath caught in my throat, but still I willed myself forward, <i>pushing</i> into a kind of energy I had never been able to connect with before.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Siobhan!</p>
</blockquote><p>Yuri cried out to stop me, but I ignored him. </p><p>I stubbornly pressed forward. Surrounded by energy from the Dark, I crossed the threshold of the Light. </p><p>Silence enveloped me, perfect, serene, and still. It was an unnervingly peaceful moment. </p><p>Yuri was at my side. We were connected, more closely than we had ever been before. </p><p>The Kyber crystals were <i>reaching</i> for us. </p><p>The wave broke. </p><p>I felt the Light snuff out. Only Darkness remained. </p><p>Images and emotions flooded my mind. </p><p>It was a message, a vision. It was overwhelming. </p><p>I could see Starkiller Base completed. I felt the pure destructive energy of it. I saw it stealing from its parent star and channeling that towards an unsuspecting ‘System. </p><p>The vision revealed everything, the rending of planets, the cries of terror. I felt every single death, plants, animals, and people. </p><p>I kept my heart and mind open through the barrage. </p><p>Yuri was struggling. There was a howl rising out of him. </p><p>The Kyber crystals were screaming now, and it flowed through my body like electricity. I was the conduit. The wire. The vessel. </p><p>I heard a loud crash. In the physical space of my meditation chamber, I felt cuts along my body. But I was so far away, it may as well have been happening to another person. </p><p>The Darkside was rising, finding space within my heart, as I was sinking. </p><p>Yuri was trying to withdraw, but it was like being trapped inside a waking dream. </p><p>The Kyber crystals were loud enough to be painful. I felt the pressure bearing down on my eardrums, threatening to burst. </p><p>I was falling farther into the Darkside than I had ever been before. A crushing weight surrounded me, exhausting my muscles, threatening to break my bones. </p><p>I breathed, allowing it to grip me. </p><p>The Darkside only consumed. Without the Light it would devour the Galaxy. </p><p>Without Luke, without the Jedi, there was nothing left to keep it in check. </p><p>Ymir wanted to make a wound in the Force, allowing the Darkside to rise like it never had before.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Siobhan!</p>
</blockquote><p>Yuri sobbed, desperately <i>reaching</i> for me. </p><p>I wouldn’t let that happen. It couldn’t end like this, the Galaxy falling out of balance, absorbed by infinite darkness. </p><p>I screamed. </p><p>My screams joined with the sounds of the Kyber crystals. My fists were wrapped tightly at my side; every muscle of my body was tensing with effort. </p><p>I could give the Darkside the blood it demanded. I would use my hate to strike down Ymir, Snoke, and Raj. </p><p>I had to. </p><p>I felt that growling, starving energy, wrapping around my heart, and I let it in...</p><p>“Siobhan! Siobhan! Please wake up!” </p><p>Ahobri was panicked, roughly shaking me. </p><p>I opened my eyes, but the world wasn’t coming together. </p><p>All the signals in my body were confused. </p><p>“Siobhan please say something!” Ahobri cried. </p><p>I thought I heard other voices in the room. </p><p>I brought a hand up to my head, “What…?” I murmured dumbly. </p><p>“I’m here to attend to Madam Zhang,” a droid announced. </p><p>Ahobri had her hand on my back as I stiffly sat up. </p><p>The room was returning to me. </p><p>The floor glittered with slivers of glass. There was wind blowing through the room. That didn’t make sense...</p><p>As I turned my head, I saw that the large bay window had exploded. </p><p>A couple of meters away, Thess and another medic droid were tending to Yuri. He was sitting up, looking just as dazed as I was. </p><p>“Siobhan, what happened?” Ahobri asked. </p><p>I swiveled towards her, slowly blinking, knowing that I needed to respond. </p><p>“It was the Kyber crystals,” I said. </p><p>Ahobri looked at me with concern and confusion.</p><p>My body was flooded with adrenaline. I felt shaky and very far away. </p><p>Thess was comforting Yuri, who was now sobbing. </p><p>The medic droid ran an instrument along me, flashing light in my eyes, “Madam, please remain still for the initial exam.”</p><p>“We have to move against Ymir,” I said, in a hollow voice, “It’s time to move against the First Order.”</p><p>“Siobhan, what are you talking about?” Ahobri asked. Her eyes clouded with worry. </p><p>“We were meditating, and… and I had a vision…” I said. </p><p>“It was a hallucination,” Yuri groaned. </p><p>The medic droid was hovering, dabbing at the cuts on my arms. Ahobri was sitting close to me, a hand resting against my skin.</p><p>I felt crowded, overwhelmed. </p><p>“Look, just give me some fucking space,” I snapped, quickly rising to my feet. </p><p>Dark spots surged across my vision, and I stumbled. </p><p>Ahobri made a little gasp. </p><p>I refused to fall. By sheer force of will, I stayed upright. I blinked several times, coming back to myself. </p><p>The room was a disaster. </p><p>All the plants were upended, their dirt spilling across the floor. Shards of glass were everywhere, sparkling in the golden evening light. I noticed large pieces embedded in the walls. </p><p>It was a miracle we weren’t impaled.</p><p>I looked down and noticed that my arms were covered in tiny cuts; shallow, red lines criss-crossed my skin. </p><p>Yuri was staring at me, wan and horrified. Thess had her arms around his broad shoulders, not sure how to react. </p><p>Everyone was staring at me. </p><p>Euora burst into the room, her dark eyes moving across the chaotic scene. “...what the fuck…?” she breathed. </p><p>“Come in. Close the door,” I instructed. </p><p>I turned to the two medical droids, “I’m good enough for now. Is Yuri hurt?”</p><p>“Madam, I’ve treated all the lacerations. I’m working to identify the source of the physical distress-”</p><p>I interrupted, “You’re dismissed, both of you.”</p><p>The two droids left the room. </p><p>“What the fuck is going on?” Euora demanded. </p><p>“It’s your lucky day,” I replied, “I just had a vision from the Force. It’s time to move against Ymir and the First Order.”</p><p>Yuri was pushing himself to his feet, “Siobhan, you can’t be serious…” </p><p>Euora had her hands on her hips. There was an excited light in her eyes. </p><p>“Yuri, you were there. You experienced it with me,” I told him, a fresh wave of adrenaline surging. </p><p>Yuri got to his feet. “Ymir was right. You hear what you want to hear! You’ve talked about your meditations on Starkiller Base for over a year now!” he said, his voice rising with anger, “This is taking it too far! This is treason!” He began moving towards me.</p><p>Euora was moving towards Yuri. Ahobri was reaching out to her. </p><p>Thess stepped in front of me, facing Yuri. “You don’t say that to Siobhan,” she said. </p><p>Yuri looked down at her, shocked. </p><p>Ahobri rose to her feet, her arms wide, trying to keep the peace, “Siobhan, I felt something, right before the window burst. I was talking with Thess, then there was this… this wave of something… then we heard a crash.”</p><p>“What did you see?” Euora asked me. </p><p>“Ymir is too powerful,” I said, “He’s going to create a wound. A wound in the Force…”</p><p>“I’m with you for the first part,” Euora said. </p><p>“That’s not what it means!” Yuri shouted. </p><p>“Don’t lie to yourself,” I said. </p><p>Yuri took one more angry step forward. </p><p>Thess grabbed his forearm, staring intensely at him. </p><p>“We need to take a moment and collect ourselves,” Ahobri said, trying to keep this situation under control. </p><p>“Let’s go to your room and talk,” Euora suggested. </p><p>I nodded. The ruined meditation room was putting everyone on edge. We were surrounded by broken glass and destruction. </p><p>“Thess, I need to talk to you,” Yuri said. </p><p>“Use my sitting room,” I said, making eye contact. </p><p>I needed to keep him close for now. Yuri felt volatile - something I wasn’t used to from him. </p><p>He was loyal to Ren and Ymir. I was concerned he might try to contact them. </p><p>Thankfully, he didn’t press his case. He made a defeated nod. </p><p>Our group of five shuffled down the hall together, Euora leading the way. Ahobri had her arms around me, while Thess supported Yuri. </p><p>***</p><p>Thess and Yuri stopped in my sitting room, taking a spot on the couch. </p><p>Ahobri, Euora, Thess and I continued on into my bedroom. </p><p>“Can I get everyone a drink?” Euora asked. </p><p>“Yes,” I replied. </p><p>Ahobri was arranging chairs in a circle, “Do you think that’s a good idea…?”</p><p>“I’m willing to risk it,” I replied. </p><p>I was looking down at my arms, examining the tiny cuts scattered across me. </p><p>Euora handed me a glass, “Are you sure you want to leave Yuri alone?”</p><p>I took a seat, allowing my legs to sprawl out, heels braced against the floor. </p><p>I could feel him, easily. “He’s with Thess. I’ll keep an eye on it.”</p><p>My awareness felt more expansive. He wouldn’t be able to make any drastic moves without me knowing. </p><p>Euora accepted my word. </p><p>Ahobri took a seat next to me, “Siobhan, are you seriously planning to move against Lord Ymir?”</p><p>“I have to,” I answered simply, “I don’t have a choice.”</p><p>“It’s about time,” Euora said.</p><p>“I want to know what you saw,” Ahobri said, “I don’t need to understand it. I just want to know what happened.”</p><p>I gave Ahobri a wry smile, “Thanks. I really don’t know if I can explain this in a way that makes sense.” </p><p>Ahobri took my hand in hers.</p><p>I took a breath, deciding to get the hard part out of the way, “I’ve kept this a secret, but the First Order is building another Death Star-”</p><p>“What the fuck, Siobhan!” Euora exclaimed, popping her fist against the wooden arm of the chair. </p><p>“Oh it gets better,” I leered, “It’s not a space station. They’re hollowing out an entire planet. They call it Starkiller Base. When it’s complete, they’ll have the capability to destroy an entire solar system in one go.”</p><p>Ahobri was in shock. But she held on.</p><p>Euora was glaring at me, “How long have you known about this?”</p><p>“From the start,” I answered easily, “I was there for all the groundbreaking ceremonies, over a year ago.”</p><p>“And you hid this from us?” Euora growled, leaning towards me. </p><p>“Let’s get back on track,” Ahobri said, “How does this fit into what happened here?”</p><p>“I’ve been meditating on the Kyber crystals,” I answered, “The First Order has been strip-mining them from the planet.”</p><p>Euora made an exasperated sigh, “You couldn’t figure out whether a star-killing weapon was bad or not? You needed to meditate on it?”</p><p>I fixed her with a very serious look, “Euora, I need you to stop,” I said, keeping my voice low and calm. </p><p>There was a flash of fear in her eyes. </p><p>“Their plans horrified me from the moment I found out,” I continued, “My last attempt to kill Ymir happened on that planet.”</p><p>There was a quiet knock on the door. </p><p>“Yuri?” Ahobri called out. </p><p>The door slid open. </p><p>Thess looked tired. Yuri had a miserable slump to his shoulders. He wasn’t looking up. </p><p>Ahobri motioned for them to join our circle. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> towards Yuri. His heart was like lead in his chest. He understood what the vision meant, but he still wasn’t willing to accept it. </p><p>“I’m going to explain everything, no one in this room has the full picture,” I said, as they took their seats, “If you interrupt me, there’s no way I’ll get through it all. So can we all agree to shut up and listen for a second?”</p><p>Yuri glanced up at me, his eyes were dark. I swung my gaze across our group. Everyone was silent. </p><p>“Twelve years ago, Ymir killed my father,” I began, “I tracked him down, planning to kill him for revenge. And it’s become so much bigger than that…”</p><p>My path had gone off course, so many times. </p><p>“About a year ago, Snoke and Rajendra Juall asked me to join their plot to kill Lord Ymir, and I accepted…”</p><p>I had Yuri’s full attention now. Everyone in the room was staring at me. </p><p>“Ymir knows about this plan. I’ve kept him updated at every step,” I explained, “I’m Snoke’s perfect pawn. He’s planning to use me and discard me afterwards. Ymir wants to take advantage of this as well, and use me to kill Snoke for him.”</p><p>Yuri’s thoughts were rushing through his mind, his heartbeat rising with fear and surprise. He managed to keep his mouth shut. He clasped his hands, his elbows resting on his thighs. </p><p>“I don’t want the First Order to complete Starkiller Base,” I said, “If Ymir has that much power, nothing will be able to stop him. I’ve known that for a long time, but the vision I had - that Yuri had too - showed me exactly what’s going to happen. Ymir is going to kill billions of people, and he’s going to create a wound in the Force.”</p><p>I left a pause, giving my crew time to absorb the information. </p><p>Ahobri reached for my hand, torn between sadness and hope. </p><p>“Ymir can’t be allowed to continue, and neither can Snoke or Raj. I plan to kill all three of these men.”</p><p>“I’m with you,” Euora said, a determined grip to her jaw. </p><p>“I’m with you,” Thess echoed, head bobbing seriously. </p><p>Her resolve was unexpected. Yuri’s eyes were wide. He was fighting back tears. </p><p>“Siobhan, I’ve been with you since you first told me,” Ahobri said. </p><p>Yuri was last. His silence was disturbing. </p><p>We were talking about treason against the most powerful military in the Galaxy. Yuri was Leadership. He was at the top of the ladder, just a step below me. </p><p>“Do you expect me to say yes to this?” Yuri asked, letting us hear his pain. </p><p>“Not really,” I replied, “But you can’t ignore the vision . Do you understand why I need to act?”</p><p>Yuri’s mouth tightened, he looked down at his hands, “I do.”</p><p>I looked between him and Thess, “We should all take some time to think and collect ourselves,” I said, “Yuri, I do not want to threaten you, but you can’t contact anyone, in any way, I’ll be forced to take action.”</p><p>He gave me a heavy stare, waiting several moments to speak. </p><p>Euora’s anger was rising at his sullen attitude.</p><p>“I won’t say anything,” he finally said, “I agree, we all need some time to think before anyone acts.”</p><p>It was a jab, but I could handle it without reacting. Yuri was hurting. He had been through a lot today. I could handle him letting off steam. </p><p>Yuri stood up, “I need... I need to be by myself.”</p><p>He turned on his heel and left the room; Thess watched him, trying to decide if she wanted to chase after him or not. </p><p>Euora looked the most concerned, “He’s going to contact Kylo Ren,” she said, fixing me with a look. </p><p>“I’ll know if he tries anything. I can stop him,” I replied, keeping my cool. </p><p>I could hurt him from a distance. He knew that.</p><p>“I don’t want to hurt him,” I added, for Thess’ sake. </p><p>She gave me a sad look, her mouth twisting down.</p><p>***</p><p>The four of us stayed in my room. </p><p>Ahobri called repair droids to my meditation chamber. </p><p>Euora poured us another round of drinks, taking a seat next to Ahobri.  </p><p>“How are you doing?” I asked Thess. </p><p>I hadn’t expected her to come to my side so quickly. </p><p>“I’m scared for Yuri,” she admitted. </p><p>“Me too,” I said, taking her hand, “Honestly, I didn’t think you’d be on my side for this.”</p><p>Thess looked up at me, tilting her head, “You told me about wanting to kill Ymir. I don’t like him. I don’t like the Knights.”</p><p>I smiled and squeezed her hand, “Thess, I am so grateful for you.”</p><p>“Siobhan, I have some fucking questions,” Euora said, cutting through our friendly moment.</p><p>“What is it Euora?” I sighed. </p><p>Now that the main excitement had worn off, I was starting to feel exhausted. A headache was wrapping around my temples. </p><p>“You’ve known about this new Death Star for over a year. You said that Snoke and… Raj?” She paused, not certain about the name, but she powered through, “You said Snoke and some other man have pulled youinto a plot to kill Ymir, and this is the fucking first time you’re mentioning it?”</p><p>“Telling you was too risky. Ymir and Snoke could have read your thoughts,” I replied, really working to keep my calm with her, “Ymir has met all of you. Not knowing was the safest option.”</p><p>Euora was giving me a fierce look. I could tell she wanted to argue with me, but couldn’t find a way to respond. I had done it to protect them. </p><p>“How soon do you want to act?” Ahobri asked, steering us in a more productive direction. </p><p>“As soon as we have a plan,” I replied, looking across the three women, “Thess, I hate to say this, but right now Yuri is a security risk. If Ymir and Snoke find out about this, we’ll be overwhelmed. We need to start moving.”</p><p>Our conversation moved along in fits and starts. Night fell while we talked. </p><p>Ymir was the most powerful man in the Galaxy. Snoke and Raj were very well-guarded. They had eyes and ears everywhere, and they both knew that I wasn’t loyal to the First Order. This was a truly daunting mission. </p><p>“But no one is going to expect me to make a move right now,” I said, “I talked to Ymir just a few weeks ago, and he isn’t planning to take action against Snoke anytime soon. Both of them are very happy with the way things are going.”</p><p>“And what about Kylo Ren?” Euora asked, the tip of her finger circling the rim of her glass. </p><p>“What about him?” I asked, not ready to have this conversation. </p><p>Euora gave me a look, “How does he fit in with all of this?” she asked, “You haven’t brought up his name once.”</p><p>“He doesn’t know anything,” I said, “I don’t want to hurt him.”</p><p>Euora sighed, “Siobhan! You can’t be serious.”</p><p>My anger was flaring, “You asked, and I answered. It was the same answer I gave Snoke - if I can avoid hurting him, I will.”</p><p>Euora was grumbling, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. </p><p>Ahobri was much more sympathetic. “I understand,” she told me. </p><p>The three of us talked over one more drink. I explained my complicated arrangement between Ymir, Snoke, and Raj. </p><p>Ahobri and Euora wanted to know more about Starkiller Base. </p><p>Our talk about actually making a plan to kill these men was stilted and halting. Every option was on the table, but every avenue of attack was riddled with pitfalls and challenges.</p><p>My security team was a problem. They would be loyal to the First Order, so we couldn’t allow them to figure out what we were doing. That question led to a conversation about the safety of our staff. Troye, Ido, Quann - everyone in the house would immediately become targets once I made a move. They trusted me, and I refused to put them in harm’s way. </p><p>I held Ahobri’s hand, not wanting to make her safety the subject of conversation. </p><p>Euora was my right-hand woman. Thess was my combat pilot. We accepted the risks of our position, but Ahobri wasn’t a fighter. She didn’t have a way to defend herself. </p><p>All my old fears were resurfacing. </p><p>My concentration was ebbing. </p><p>They knew it was time for a break. </p><p>“I’m going to monitor the conversations in the house,” Euora said, finishing the last of her drink, “I’ll let folks know there was a training accident earlier. Everyone is fine, and you’re resting.”</p><p>“Thanks, Euora.”</p><p>“I’m going to talk with Yuri. We’ll figure this out,” Thess said, putting her hand on my shoulder. </p><p>“I’m so sorry you’re in this position,” I told her. </p><p>She shrugged, “I’ve been worried ever since Kylo Ren came back. We’ve been talking.”</p><p>“Let him know I want to talk with him, one-on-one. I know how much the Knights and the First Order mean to him.”</p><p>Thess gave my shoulder a squeeze. </p><p>The two women left, and I was alone with Ahobri. </p><p>She insisted on calling the medic droid up to finish its exam. The only injuries were the thin cuts on my arms and a couple along my cheeks. </p><p>“Neither of you were responsive when we came into the room,” Ahobri said, “I said your name at least four or five times. You didn’t move a muscle until I started shaking you.”</p><p>“Thank you,” I told her, with a gentle kiss. </p><p>Ahobri had dinner brought up. I couldn’t remember if I had eaten today. I had a cup of soup, still too unsettled for a meal. I took a shower.</p><p>We curled up in bed together. We were quiet. It was hard to know what to say. </p><p>“Ahobri, I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure nothing happens to you,” I promised, gripping her hands tightly. </p><p>Tears were coming. I couldn’t stop them, “I feel like I’m throwing all of this away. All our work. Everything we’ve built.”</p><p>Ahobri had her forehead pressed to mine, “You said they’re going to have a weapon that can destroy a solar system.” She paused. It was absurd - an unbelievable statement, “If you hadn’t told me… if I woke up one day to find out about an attack... I just… I would be horrified. That’s not something I can be a part of.”</p><p>“I’ve talked with Ymir,” I said, “He doesn’t see anything wrong with what he’s doing.”</p><p>Ahobri gripped my hands, “I think you’re the only person who can stop them. I can’t help you in the fight, but I’ll do what I can. We’ll deal with the consequences.”</p><p>“I love you,” I told her. </p><p>I held her close, weeping. </p><p>“You make me feel brave,” Ahobri said, clutching me just as tightly. </p><p>I couldn’t help but laugh, “Even now?” I said, my voice thick with tears. </p><p>“You’re not going to let a few tears stop you,” she said, kissing my cheeks. </p><p>She was right. She always was. </p><p>
  <b>V</b>
</p><p>I gave Yuri some space for a couple of days. </p><p>I monitored him using my awareness, searching for any instability, any impulsiveness. </p><p>He mostly kept to himself in the suite he shared with Thess. He used the gym when I wasn’t there.</p><p>Thess was holding up, but there were dark circles under her eyes. She was spending most of her time in the room with Yuri. I did my best to check in with her, but Thess was tight-lipped about her emotions.</p><p>During the days, I kept busy, making sure the house was running as usual. </p><p>I made appearances in the evenings, making my presence known, then slipping away as soon as I could. </p><p>Ahobri, Euora, and I were using the nighttime for planning. </p><p>Sitting in my room, we talked through the complicated web of people and resources we could use for this mission. </p><p>I wanted to keep the operation bare-bones, but it was good to explore our options. </p><p>Beyond the objective of killing the leaders of the First Order, my biggest concerns were protecting Ahobri, and my staff, and making it out alive. </p><p>We talked for hours, keeping an open bottle of wine and a water pipe on the table. </p><p>After three days, Yuri finally spoke to me. </p><p>I woke up to a message on my console: [I’d like to talk. Alone.]</p><p>After a shower and breakfast, I walked down the hall, knocking on his door. </p><p>Yuri answered. </p><p>He looked awful. There were dark circles under his eyes. His hair and beard were unkempt. He wore baggy training clothes, wrinkled and worn. </p><p>“Yuri,” I greeted, as gently as I could. </p><p>He stared at me. His expression was grim, “You want to meet now?”</p><p>“Whenever you’re ready,” I said. </p><p>“Let me change,” he replied, “And I don’t want to talk in your rooms.”</p><p>“We’ll meet in the office then,” I said. </p><p>Ahobri had set up a conference room for private meetings and business calls on our floor. </p><p>I set up at the table, absently scrolling through messages on my tablet while I waited. I read without absorbing information. </p><p>All my thoughts were circling back to Yuri. </p><p>He could undo everything if he wanted to. </p><p>I didn’t want to hurt him. He was my friend. Thess loved him. </p><p>But he wasn’t going to get in my way. </p><p>I waited for half an hour. </p><p>Yuri looked better when he arrived. He had combed his hair - his mop of brown curls was close to shoulder length now - and trimmed his beard. He wore utility clothes in shades of tan and green. </p><p>I stood up when he entered. </p><p>He was hesitant, angry, and wounded. </p><p>“Yuri, I want us to meet as friends,” I said, motioning for him to take the chair next to mine. </p><p>“I know you do,” he said, “But I’m not sure how I want to move forward.”</p><p>He looked up at me, and all I felt was sadness. </p><p>“Thess is with you. She’s not backing down,” Yuri said, his mouth twisting down, “When we flew together, when we worked together, I thought she was loyal to the First Order… but she was doing it for you and me.”</p><p>His large hand was wrapping into a fist. </p><p>“I’m not taking this lightly,” I said, “I know how much Ren and Ymir mean to you-”</p><p>“Did the Superior General really recruit you to kill Lord Ymir?” Yuri asked sharply. </p><p>I nodded, “About a year ago now.”</p><p>“I need to see it,” Yuri said.</p><p>I shared the memory without hesitation. Yuri watched Raj and me calling Snoke. He heard Snoke’s contempt for Ren, and my request not to hurt him.</p><p>“Siobhan-” Yuri paused, caught off guard. “I can’t believe… this has been going on... behind our backs… Kylo has no idea…”</p><p>“I don’t want to hurt him either, Yuri,” I said, clasping his hand, gripping tightly. </p><p>“But why wouldn’t Lord Ymir tell us…?”</p><p>“It’s politics,” I said, “Ymir and Snoke are using each other-”</p><p>“And both of them want to use you,” Yuri sneered. </p><p>“I’m their wildcard,” I replied bitterly. </p><p>Yuri gave my hand a squeeze before letting go, “You said Lord Ymir knows everything.”</p><p>“Everything,” I confirmed. </p><p>Yuri’s lip curled, and he didn’t look at me as he spoke, “We’ve never really talked about your little revenge plan. Kylo told me about it, and Ymir confirmed it… You never brought it up to me, and I didn’t want to ask. Then you started fucking Ymir, and I figured you were done. I thought you were in love with him.”</p><p>I stared at Yuri, making an effort not to react. I was going to try everything in my power to get him on my side. </p><p>“I’ve gone back and forth on wanting revenge,” I said, hoping that honesty would get me somewhere, “But Ymir is too dangerous. Starkiller Base will give him the power to kill billions. You felt it. I told you about that first meditation in the Kyber crystal caves-”</p><p>“You don’t even serve the Light!” Yuri shouted, “Your hands are just as dirty as the rest of us. Why do you have to go through with this?”</p><p>I knew my answer. I didn’t hesitate, “Because I know what it’s like to be powerless. Ymir walked into my home and killed my father, just because he could. He’s going to do that to the entire Galaxy if someone doesn’t stop him.”</p><p>“And then what?” Yuri countered, glaring fiercely, “You’ll kill all the Admirals, and all the Generals? You’ll cut your way through the entire First Order? Where does this end for you?”</p><p>I didn’t have an answer to that. I shook my head. </p><p>“And if you do succeed, if Lord Ymir and the Superior General don’t kill you, you’ll have to face Kylo Ren,” Yuri spat. </p><p>“Maybe. Am I going to have to face you too?” I asked, as gently as I could. </p><p>Yuri’s expression twisted, tears beginning to stream down his cheeks and into his beard, “I’m torn between two worlds,” he said, sucking in a breath, “I love Thess. I love her. I’m not going to do anything that could cause her to get hurt...”</p><p>That was more than I could say. I was asking her to join me in battle against the First Order. </p><p>“But Kylo Ren is my brother. Lord Ymir took us in. He’s taken care of me. I mean, he’s like a father to us,” his expression was screwing up, a fresh wave of tears coming, “And you’re fucking telling me that you plan to murder him!”</p><p>Yuri banged his fist on the table, rattling the heavy piece of furniture. </p><p>I kept calm in the face of his rage and pain. “If I don’t act, there’s going to be nothing left,” I told him, “Ymir is going to snuff out the Light, and the Dark will be free to swallow the Galaxy.”</p><p>Yuri understood. He knew what it meant. He was trying to close himself off to the vision, but he couldn’t deny the truth. </p><p>“... there has to be another way…” he said, his voice choked by tears.</p><p>“Ymir has to be stopped. Starkiller Base has to be stopped,” I said, risking his anger, and reaching for his hand, “I’m deadly serious, Yuri. Are you going to stand in my way?”</p><p>“I don’t know. Thess is everything to me,” he answered, barely above a whisper, “ I can promise that I won’t go behind your back. I’m not going to put her in harm’s way. But Siobhan… I can’t support you.”</p><p>“Okay,” I replied, a sticky, nervous feeling in my heart. </p><p>“I can’t go against my family,” he said, looking down at the floor, “I’ve done it once before, and I’m not doing it again.”</p><p>“I understand.”</p><p>We were at a standstill. </p><p>Yuri wouldn’t come to my side, and I wasn’t willing to make a move against him until I had to. </p><p>“You’re like Lord Ymir,” Yuri said, rising to his feet, “You’re one of the most ruthless people I’ve ever met. But you’re fair.”</p><p>“I love you, Yuri,” I said, as our hands parted, “You’ve always been a friend to me.”</p><p>Yuri left the room, walking slowly. </p><p>Things were just as uncertain as they were before. </p><p>A feather’s weight could tip the balance.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I take my self-imposed deadlines really seriously, and this is a day late. Sorry!</p><p>We have one chapter left! I can’t believe it. </p><p>In the interest of not missing deadlines, expect the final chapter out sometime between Wednesday and Friday. :)</p><p>Thanks to everyone reading this story. I love your comments. If you’ve been following this story and haven’t left a note, I’d love to hear from you.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 20.5- Zhang and Poe Dameron</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Time for a treat! I’ve been talking about doing some smut one-offs for months now, so I thought I’d finally deliver. This is a little fluff chapter before I wrap up The Sith Acolyte. </p>
<p>It’s been my headcanon that Siobhan and Poe would absolutely hook up if they ever got within arm’s reach of one another. I just rewatched Rise of Skywalker, and was feeling inspired (also, Babymace left a fabulous comment a while back).</p>
<p>So for anyone just coming across this story - Hop on in! You don’t have to know anything. </p>
<p>For folks who have been following, we’re going back in time; Siobhan is 21-ish, and has just joined the Resistance. She’s a few weeks into Basic, and has been moved into pilot training by Commander Holdo. There she meets a handsome pilot by the name of Poe Dameron…</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I did a character write-up for Siobhan on my <a href="https://andromeda-rising-897.tumblr.com/post/617480476014362624/siobhan-zhang-the-not-quite-hero-of-the-sith">Tumblr</a> (I did one a while back about <a href="https://andromeda-rising-897.tumblr.com/post/613206657202372608/the-sith-acolyte-behind-the-scenes">Ymir and Kylo Ren</a>). Writing her character has allowed me to get out a lot of frustration with how women are presented in books/TV/movies. It’s made me so happy to see shows like Killing Eve and Birds of Prey pop up while I’ve been writing this story. It makes me feel like we’re moving in the right direction.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>I</b>
</p>
<p>I arrived to the training room out of breath. There was no way I could just sneak in. The briefing had already started, and there was only one seat left. </p>
<p>“Private Zhang, you’re late!” the Commander barked. </p>
<p>None of the other pilots reacted. They sat obediently in their chairs, eyes fixed on the holoscreen. </p>
<p>“Uh, yeah, I got held up-” I began, but the Commander didn’t want to hear my excuses. </p>
<p>“Drop and give me thirty!” she barked. </p>
<p>Arguing would get me nowhere. After eight weeks in basic training, I had finally learned that they wouldn’t let me talk my way out of everything. </p>
<p>I got down on the ground and started straining my way through push-ups. My hangover gripped my temples, making my stomach churn. It took effort not to throw up. </p>
<p>The stone floor was cool beneath my hands, and I was grateful for the dim lighting. </p>
<p>I suffered through the exercise, my arms shaking, and my face growing red with effort. </p>
<p>When I was done, I stood up and took the empty chair. </p>
<p>My neighbor leaned in next to me, keeping his voice down, “I just saw you in the barracks, how were you late?”</p>
<p>I wanted to know why he had noticed me in the barracks. The Commander cut in right as I was opening my mouth to respond. </p>
<p>“Lieutenant Dameron!” she warned, “Anything else, and it’ll be thirty push-ups from you too!”</p>
<p>“Yes, Commander. Understood,” he replied, making a show of the formality.</p>
<p>The Commander returned to her briefing. I shot my neighbor a little smile that he returned with a wink. </p>
<p>I had seen Poe Dameron around the Base. It was hard not to. </p>
<p>He was handsome, reminding me of Matthias’ best qualities; he had a strong jaw, somehow always maintaining just the right amount of stubble; he had the kind of hair that made you want to run your fingers through it. </p>
<p>I liked his swagger, too. The rumor was that he had been a Spice runner before joining the Resistance. </p>
<p>The Commander droned on.</p>
<p>I sat in my chair, looking straight ahead, only half-listening. </p>
<p>I didn’t want to be here, having finished Basic only to get shoved into pilot training. </p>
<p>It was Commander Holdo’s idea. She wanted to see me follow in my father’s footsteps and become a hero pilot just like him. I had no intention of going down that route. I told Commander Holdo that in her office, but she had ignored me. </p>
<p>Now I was on Plan B: Failing out of the program. </p>
<p>“Alright squadron, to the hangar!” the Commander announced. </p>
<p>Our chairs scuffed against the floors as we stood up, hustling in two neat rows through the busy tunnels of the Base. </p>
<p>It was such a shame that we had to hide underground. Jaemus was a gorgeous planet, lush and tropical, but without the overbearing heat or bugs that usually came with it. </p>
<p>The Resistance had set up shop inside of a massive volcanic crater. We kept our above-ground activities to a minimum to prevent the First Order from discovering us. </p>
<p>Our flight training was closely monitored. The leadership on the Base was constantly rotating the schedule. Sometimes we were flying hours before dawn, other times we were kept up long after our usual lights out - I had a little baggie of Blue that I kept tucked away for those occasions. </p>
<p>I followed my unit through the narrow, winding tunnels. We were all dressed in the same worn-out jumpsuits. Judging by the tears and stains, they were probably hand-me-downs from the Rebellion. </p>
<p>Inside the hangar we were divided into two squadrons, Red and Blue, to practice evasive maneuvers. Poe was Red Leader. Commander Bo was Blue Leader. </p>
<p>Commander Bo went down the line, dividing our group of ten. I was thrilled to be chosen for Red Team. </p>
<p>Poe had come to Jaemus as part of a unit that were training to be Group Commanders. He had joined the Resistance several years ago, making his mark as a hot-shot pilot. I had heard all the stories about his heroics in battle. </p>
<p>The Group Commanders-in-training were a close knit unit, walking around like they owned the place. I had gotten in trouble for mouthing off to a few of them. My friend Gromm had broken up a fistfight between me and a smug asshole named Cale. </p>
<p>Once Commander Bo was done dividing the teams, I hustled over to my usual hunk of junk, an X-wing nicknamed ‘Bolts’. She needed maintenance after every single run. I had a knack for fixing ships, so she became my unofficial chariot.  </p>
<p>As the other pilots were putting on their helmets and jumping into their cockpits, I gave her a once over, making sure this ship wouldn’t fall apart as soon as she left the hangar. </p>
<p>I clambered up the short ladder, dropping into the seat - it had been left indented and smooth from the countless asses that had sat here before me. </p>
<p>I shoved my helmet on, began flicking switches to warm up the engines, and did the routine systems checks. </p>
<p>“Okay, Red Team,” Poe said over the comms in my helmet, “We are T-minus one minute from take-off.”</p>
<p>He did a roll call and sent along the formation plans. I pulled them up on my console. </p>
<p>Thankfully, Bolts was cooperating today, and I followed Red Team out of the hangar. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>My strategy for failing flight training had several different parts. </p>
<p>The first was painting myself as unreliable. I showed up late. I got in trouble on Base, which was not hard to do. I hadn’t expected the military to be so different from my old smuggling outfit, but it was. </p>
<p>The second part of my plan involved not flying well, which was harder than it sounded. At first, I had just acted like I had no talent for flying, but they figured that one out pretty quick and kept me on. </p>
<p>Now I was more careful, always staying just a little bit off the mark. I didn’t hold formation quite right. I was jerky with the controls. I was tried hard to look incredibly average, never quite good enough. </p>
<p>During our flight today, I pretended to struggle with evasive maneuvers. I overcorrected and accidentally swung in the wrong direction. I consistently moved out of formation. </p>
<p>My partner on Blue team was frustrated with how easily they marked me, wanting to get a better opportunity for practice. </p>
<p>Poe coached me over the comms, providing direction and instruction as I purposefully botched the job. I complained that the fuel read-outs had gone wonky, which was actually true.</p>
<p>After two hours, we returned to the hangars and our squadron was dismissed. </p>
<p>The only thing I enjoyed about this training was getting the time above ground. I loved watching the sunset wash pink and gold across the horizon, the trees were shimmering emerald canopy beneath us. </p>
<p>Back in the hangar, I got to work on my follow-up maintenance on Bolts. I began digging around in the machinery, testing the sensors and the fuel lines. </p>
<p>I was standing beneath the cockpit, holding a shop light in one hand and a wrench in the other, when Poe came by. He leaned nonchalantly against my landing gear. </p>
<p>“Don’t do that,” I warned, “You might bring the whole ship down.”</p>
<p>He cracked a smile, ignoring my attitude, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re purposefully throwing these training sessions.”</p>
<p>I glanced his way. The man was so handsome. I took in the curl of his hair and the tilt to his hips. His eyes were making the same journey across me. </p>
<p>“Hm,” I shrugged, “What if I’m just not that good?”</p>
<p>“If you weren’t that good, I would know it,” Poe said, with a smug look, “I’m just trying to figure out why. I heard that your dad was Captain Wei Zhang.”</p>
<p>For a second, my heart pumped ice through me.</p>
<p>“Same last name,” I replied, returning to Bolts, brushing Poe off. </p>
<p>I fucking hated these questions. </p>
<p>“So he’s not your dad?” Poe asked, giving me a hard time.  </p>
<p>He had his arms crossed, leaning against my landing gear. He wasn’t going anywhere. </p>
<p>“I heard you were a Spice runner,” I replied, giving him a look out the corner of my eye. </p>
<p>“That’s right,” Poe said with a roguish grin, “It’s why they have me teaching evasive maneuvers.”</p>
<p>I laughed, turning towards him again. The shop light dangled from my hand. </p>
<p>“So why are you throwing these practice sessions?” he asked, more kindly. </p>
<p>I approached with a flirtatious glint in my eye and a sway to my hips. I hoped he could notice it through the baggy orange jumpsuit. I walked forward until we were almost touching. </p>
<p>Poe was taller than me, but not by too much. He gave me a playful look, waiting for my response.</p>
<p>I leaned in close, right next to his ear, “I just don’t want to be a pilot.”</p>
<p>I drew away, giving him a cheeky grin as he sighed. </p>
<p>“Well, you’re succeeding,” Poe admitted, “Commander Bo has just about had it with you.”</p>
<p>I shrugged again, returning to my work. </p>
<p>“Are you going to be at the card game tonight?” I asked. </p>
<p>Poe was straightening up. I’m sure there were other responsibilities calling for him. </p>
<p>“I might be,” he replied, cool and casual. </p>
<p>“I’ll be there,” I said, giving him a little once over. </p>
<p>“You’re there every night,” Poe quipped, turning to leave, “See you around, Zhang.”</p>
<p>I liked the smile he gave me. </p>
<p>He was playing it cool, but I knew he’d be there. </p>
<p>
  <b>II</b>
</p>
<p>The after-hours card games weren’t sanctioned by the leadership, but they weren’t outlawed either. There were usually a handful of lieutenants, sergeants, and captains that joined, drinking and gambling with the rest of us.</p>
<p>The only rule was to not disrupt the rest of the Base. If you were too drunk for training the next day, or if you woke up your unit getting back to your bunk, the punishment would be merciless. </p>
<p>Tonight we met in one of the natural caves, branching off from one of the main tunnels. There were about thirty of us. We set up on the uneven floors, using old supply crates as tables, passing around homebrewed beer and liquor. </p>
<p>Poe knew how to keep a girl waiting. I was at the party for over an hour before I saw him. </p>
<p>He arrived with three other Group Commanders-in-training. Unfortunately, Cale was with him. </p>
<p>“Keep it to a simmer, Siobhan,” Gromm warned, as he spotted Cale. </p>
<p>“That’s okay,” I replied, laying down a card, “I have a reason to be on good behavior tonight.”</p>
<p>Gromm had quickly become my best friend on Base. Like me, he came from a shitty backwater planet in the Outer Rim. He was an unusually bulky Gran, tall and muscular, with an easy going attitude that I appreciated after being surrounded by drill sergeants and commanders all day. </p>
<p>Poe made the rounds, dropping in on the different card games, stopping to drink a beer with the handful of leadership that were here. </p>
<p>Finally, he made it over to my group. We were all sitting cross-legged around an old, battered supply crate. </p>
<p>“Well look who made it out tonight,” Poe teased, crouching next to me. </p>
<p>“Want to be my good luck charm?” I replied, glancing his way. </p>
<p>I was losing. Badly. </p>
<p>“I was thinking about playing,” Poe said, motioning to be dealt in. </p>
<p>After a few hands together, I was tapped out. </p>
<p>“Well, that’s me,” I said, finishing my beer and standing up from the hard, dusty floor.  </p>
<p>Poe put his cards down, “Can I get you another beer?” he asked. </p>
<p>“Of course,” I replied with a grin.</p>
<p>As we left, Gromm gave me side-eye, using all three of his eye stalks. </p>
<p>I gave Gromm a wink, and followed Poe to the beer crate. </p>
<p>Poe grabbed two, popping the top off one before passing it to me. Then he picked up two more beers, slipping them into his jacket pockets with the necks sticking out the side. </p>
<p>“Planning ahead?” I teased.</p>
<p>“I know a good spot for stargazing,” he said, “Follow me.”</p>
<p>This was exactly what I wanted. I left the party with all my money gone but a handsome man at my side. </p>
<p>Poe knew exactly where he was going. We slipped through narrow, dark tunnels, moving away from the main Base. </p>
<p>“It’s going to get a little dicey, but I promise the view is worth it,” he said, turning towards me. </p>
<p>The view was already worth it. </p>
<p>Heat was moving through me as we slipped through passages in the stone, beginning to travel upwards. </p>
<p>Suddenly, the path reached a dead end, but Poe was striding forward anyways. In front of us was a pitch black crevice. </p>
<p>“You should finish your beer,” Poe said, “You’re going to need both hands for this stretch.”</p>
<p>I tilted up my drink, then set the bottle down next to the wall. Poe did the same. </p>
<p>He offered me his hand, and I climbed up after him. </p>
<p>We scrambled single file up a steep, narrow passage in the rock. There were no lights - it was completely dark.</p>
<p>Poe was right. I lost my footing a couple times, needing to brace myself against the walls to keep from sliding back down. </p>
<p>I found myself puffing and panting as we continued up the slope. </p>
<p>“Is this really... how you… like to impress girls?” I complained. </p>
<p>“Who said… I was trying… to impress you?” Poe replied. </p>
<p>I reached ahead of me in the dark to slap the side of his leg and I almost lost my footing. </p>
<p>Finally, I began to feel a cool breeze. I noticed a change in the layers of darkness ahead of us. </p>
<p>Poe left the cave first, offering his hand again. </p>
<p>We found ourselves standing on top of one of the vast lava flows. The stone was smooth, shaped like a river that had frozen in place. </p>
<p>Poe was striding to the top of a small stone hill. I was right behind him. </p>
<p>“So? What do you think of the view?” he asked, pulling a bottle of beer from his pocket and cracking the cap before passing it. </p>
<p>“I thought you weren’t trying to impress me,” I teased, taking a sip. </p>
<p>Poe made a small pout, opening his own beer. “Okay, I might be showing off a little,” he admitted. </p>
<p>I smiled and took another drink, gazing out at the nighttime forest. </p>
<p>Overhead, the moon was heavy and bright, drowning out the stars around it. </p>
<p>Moonlight reflected off the tops of the trees. In the distance, I could hear the calls of nighttime animals - hunting, marking their territory, looking for a mate…</p>
<p>“It’s gorgeous out here,” I said, turning back towards Poe. </p>
<p>He was sliding an arm around my waist, drawing me to him for a kiss. </p>
<p>I kissed him back, enjoying the way his lips pressed against mine. </p>
<p>We both tasted like beer. I liked the feeling of his stubble against my skin. </p>
<p>“Gods, I’ve been wanting to do that for a while,” he sighed as we parted. </p>
<p>“Since you noticed me in the barracks today?” I said, taking his hand, twining my fingers with his. </p>
<p>“Longer than that,” he said, “I noticed you my first day here. You’re the most beautiful girl on this Base.”</p>
<p>Ugh. </p>
<p>“Don’t use those lines on me,” I growled, nipping at his bottom lip. </p>
<p>Poe had only been here four weeks, but he had a reputation. My friend, Nomi, had gotten to him first. </p>
<p>We sank down to the smooth, rippled stone beneath us. We rested our beers carefully, making sure they wouldn’t fall over. </p>
<p>Under the moonlight, we kissed, our hands beginning to roam. </p>
<p>I ran my hands along his chest and shoulders. </p>
<p>We occasionally broke apart to drink, slowly emptying our beers. </p>
<p>“So, I got the feeling you didn’t want to talk about this earlier,” Poe said, during one of these breaks, “But is it true? Was your dad Captain Zhang?” </p>
<p>I sighed, letting him know this wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have, “Yeah, my dad was Captain Zhang.”</p>
<p>I already knew what his next question would be. </p>
<p>“Look, I mean… I’m sure you get asked this all the time, but… did uh...  did Lord Ymir...?” he trailed off.</p>
<p>I made a bitter kind of smile and took a drink before answering him. “Huh,” I grunted, “I’d say half ask the way you just did, and the others come right out and say it: ‘Did Lord Ymir really kill your dad?’”</p>
<p>“Fuck, Siobhan, I’m sorry,” Poe grimaced, “Just forget I said anything.”</p>
<p>Until I joined the Resistance, I had no idea anyone else knew what had happened that day. But apparently the story got out. My dad’s old Resistance buddy, the one that helped us escape, probably started it. </p>
<p>“It’s fine,” I grumbled, finishing my beer, “The answer is yes.”</p>
<p>Poe gave me a sympathetic look, realizing that he had stepped in it. </p>
<p>We sat quietly for some time, listening to the wind rustle the leaves. </p>
<p>“What were you doing before you joined up?” he finally asked, looking over at me. </p>
<p>I let him change the subject. </p>
<p>“I was a smuggler,” I told him, flashing a grin, “Cobalt Arc.”</p>
<p>Poe was nodding. He recognized the name. “That’s Tynne Precore, right?”</p>
<p>“Yup,” I said, “Good old Tynne.”</p>
<p>“I did some work with him,” Poe said, “It was a long time ago, probably seven or eight years now.”</p>
<p>“No kidding,” I said, starting to warm back up to him, “Did he tell you any of his stories about flying with Han Solo?”</p>
<p>“He did!” Poe said, getting excited, “I mean, it was before the war with the Empire and all that, but those were wild days. He said that, one time, they were being chased by Gatto Gang, and the hyperdrive wasn’t working, so he had to do maintenance during the shoot out.”</p>
<p>I nodded. I knew that story well. Tynne had told it to me at least a dozen times. </p>
<p>“Were you a pilot in his crew?” Poe asked. </p>
<p>I shook my head, “Nope. I worked checkpoints and did maintenance jobs. I don’t like being the getaway driver.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Poe replied, tilting his head as he looked at me. He hadn’t expected my answer. </p>
<p>I brought up a hand, tousling his hair. “I didn’t come all this way to talk,” I said. </p>
<p>Poe was happy to still have a chance with me. We began to kiss again, moving closer together, our bodies pressing. </p>
<p>I had my hands under Poe’s shirt. </p>
<p>He was squeezing my breasts. He made an appreciative growl when he found the rings in my nipples. </p>
<p>“Can I pull on them?” he asked. </p>
<p>“Please.”</p>
<p>He brought his hands beneath my breasts, taking them in his hands, giving the rings in my nipples a few slow, firm tugs. </p>
<p>I gasped, immediately hot between my legs. </p>
<p>Poe was smiling as he kissed me. His lips starting to travel down my neck. </p>
<p>We were climbing out of our clothes. Our fingers were undoing buttons, helping push sleeves down our arms, unbuttoning our pants. </p>
<p>The night air was cool and goosebumps travelled across me in a wave. </p>
<p>“I might keep some of this on,” I giggled, kissing him. </p>
<p>“Shit, me too,” he said, just as his bare ass touched the stone beneath us. </p>
<p>He wriggled his pants back up a few centimeters. I reached into his open zipper, finding his cock pressing upwards. </p>
<p>It looked like Poe Dameron was too good for underwear. </p>
<p>While I started stroking his cock, Poe gave my nipples more attention. </p>
<p>He was sucking on them, circling with his tongue. I loved how he panted and sighed as I rubbed him, sliding my hand along his length.</p>
<p>“Gods!” he breathed, his hips starting to rock, “Do you want to get on top?”</p>
<p>“Such a gentleman,” I teased. </p>
<p>He’d take the cold stone. </p>
<p>I took off my own pants and jacket to use as a blanket beneath us. Laughing and kissing, we found a position that wasn’t too harsh. Poe had his jacket on and his pants off. </p>
<p>With Poe sitting upright, cock jutting from his lap, I straddled his hips, sinking onto him. </p>
<p>I let out a groan as he filled me, smooth and thick. </p>
<p>Poe’s hands travelled along my back and the slight curve of my waist. </p>
<p>As I rolled my hips, he moved a hand up to my nipples, pulling at the rings again. </p>
<p>I cried out, squeezing him, growing wetter. </p>
<p>Poe was thrusting into me, a little harder, a little faster now. His lips were pressed against my neck. I liked hearing his breath speed up. </p>
<p>I began to move my hips more, sliding along his full length. </p>
<p>It wasn’t long until Poe was moaning in my ear, “Fuck! I’m close.”</p>
<p>“Do you… want to slow down?” I sighed, my arms around his neck, continuing to bounce on his cock. </p>
<p>“Yes!” he gasped, clearly holding himself back. </p>
<p>I rose off of him, sitting on top of his thighs. I gently ran my hand along the underside of his cock, appreciating how it jumped beneath me. </p>
<p>Poe allowed himself to fall back onto the cold, smooth stone. “Come here. Sit on my face,” he said, urging me upwards, “I want to taste you.”</p>
<p>The boy was good with his tongue. </p>
<p>My first orgasm caught me completely off guard. Poe was lapping at me, listening to my moans, paying attention to the motion of my hips. </p>
<p>I shuddered and howled, my own animal cries joining the night. </p>
<p>He didn’t let me off the hook. He continued to give my clit attention, slowing his pace to allow my second orgasm to build. </p>
<p>His hand travelled between my legs, pumping and curling inside of me. </p>
<p>This time, he drew out a long and slow orgasm, making my body respond to his rhythms. </p>
<p>“Poe!” I gasped, as the wave built. “Poe!” I repeated, my hands braced on top of my thighs, my eyes screwed shut with pleasure. </p>
<p>He kept up that rhythm with his hands and his tongue, and it sent me over the edge. I was crying out, curling forward. </p>
<p>As my orgasm slowed, I moved down, sliding down on his cock again, aching for more attention. </p>
<p>Poe was thrusting urgently into me. </p>
<p>I kissed him, tasting myself on his lips and tongue. </p>
<p>Poe’s hands gripped my hips as he pushed into me, faster, faster, faster, until he was shuddering, crying out. I felt him, warm and throbbing inside of me. </p>
<p>We collapsed against each other, both totally spent. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, it was too cold to stay out here for long. </p>
<p>With much kissing and caressing, we climbed back into our clothes and returned to the tunnels of the Base. </p>
<p>Poe led the way down the steepest section, holding my hand to steady me. </p>
<p>He kissed me at the bottom of the slope. “Siobhan, you are… just…”</p>
<p>“I know,” I said, with a curling smile, returning the kiss. </p>
<p>“Can we... do you want to do this again?” he asked, “Maybe somewhere warmer?”</p>
<p>I rested my hand against his chest, “Sure. I’ll talk to Nomi and see if she wants to join us.”</p>
<p>Poe gave a surprised little shake of his head. </p>
<p>“Girls talk,” I teased, biting my lower lip. </p>
<p>We entered the main tunnels together. </p>
<p>Poe pulled me to him for one last kiss before I returned to my barracks. </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>I knelt outside the barracks door and unlaced my boots before tiptoeing inside. </p>
<p>Gromm was in the top bunk, snoring as usual, one arm hanging off the edge. </p>
<p>I pushed his arm up before slipping into my bed. </p>
<p>It should have been easy to find sleep. I had had a few beers and some really good sex. I was exhausted and pleasantly buzzed. Still, my thoughts circled in my mind. </p>
<p>Poe’s bone-headed question had brought up old memories. </p>
<p>It was true; Lord Ymir, the leader of the First Order, had killed my father. </p>
<p>Sometimes I wished I hadn’t given my real name when I joined the Resistance. I had come to them as a smuggler, a criminal who had switched sides mid-job. My name had been a free pass. </p>
<p>My father had lived as a hero, but he had died as a nobody, cut down in his own home. </p>
<p>I shifted positions, clenching my teeth against the memory. Ymir had entered my home, and killed my father in front of me and my family. </p>
<p>But the memory hurt for other reasons. </p>
<p>When I was fifteen, Ymir had killed my father and told me to come track him down. Ymir had sensed the Force in me. It was the only reason my mother and brother were left alive. </p>
<p>That’s why I was here.</p>
<p>I hated the military. I hated all the baanthashit rules, the schedules, and nonsense formalities. </p>
<p>But it might bring me closer to Ymir. </p>
<p>Once I found him, I was going to kill him. I would make him teach me how to use the Force, and then I would kill him. </p>
<p>People had heard the story - they whispered about it behind my back. They didn’t know how frightening it had been; I had fought to save my father, and I had failed. </p>
<p>I had been too weak, just a fifteen year old girl who had never left her farm. </p>
<p>I was more than that now. I had hardened myself in gangs, brothels, and smuggling crews, and now I was becoming a soldier. </p>
<p>When we met again, he wouldn’t find me the same scared teenager. I would be strong. I would defeat him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I had so much fun writing this! It was nice to explore Siobhan at a different point in her life. Also, definitely check on my Tumblr post for more Siobhan-related goodness. I’m Andromeda-Rising-897.</p>
<p>The next post is going to be the final chapter (eek!). By my estimates we should see it sometime on Saturday… or Sunday, if editing takes longer than I expect.</p>
<p>Thanks so much for reading! I always love to hear from y’all in the comments. And thanks to everyone who has dropped by to share their thoughts!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Revenge</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This is it. </p><p>After twelve years, numerous trials, set-backs, and distractions, Siobhan is going to claim vengeance against the leader of the First Order. </p><p>She’s never had something to lose until now. She’s about to destroy the world that she’s built for herself and her friends to protect the Galaxy. </p><p>And success is far from certain.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“... I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams.” -<i>Hamlet</i></p><p>
  <b>I</b>
</p><p>I made the call to Rajendra. </p><p>Today was the day we put our plan into action.</p><p>I sat in my office, the books that Ekene had bought displayed behind me. Ahobri and Euora sat next door, waiting. Thess was with Yuri in their rooms. </p><p>Thrall answered. I could see the effort it took to tamp down her fear. Our paths had crossed several times since my last trip to the unknown regions, but she was still terrified of me. </p><p>“Madam Zhang,” she greeted, with a demure nod of her head. </p><p>“Thrall, I was calling for Raj. Is he around?” </p><p>“Yes, madam. I’ll get him for you.”</p><p>The screen went dark. </p><p>Raj and I hadn’t been in close communication. It had been many cycles since I was officially asked to join their plot against Ymir. We had exchanged a couple of calls, and brief conversations at state events. I had soured on him after our meeting alone. </p><p>Raj had joined with the First Order to insulate himself from the unpredictable elements in the Galaxy. Raj saw that the New Republic would fail, and tip into mob rule, which would be bad for business. In his mind, the masses were too poor and stupid to take care of themselves. </p><p>He thought that joining the First Order would protect him. I couldn’t wait to prove him wrong. </p><p>The holofeed blinked on again, and I found myself looking at Raj’s handsome face. </p><p>Today, he was in a more casual set of robes, open at the throat. His white hair was slicked back, and he wore a familiar aloof expression. </p><p>“Siobhan, to what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked. </p><p>“I have news,” I said, leaning forward, a playful edge to my voice, “Are you alone?”</p><p>Raj gave me a droll look, “It’s just me and Thrall.”</p><p>“This is for your ears only,” I replied. </p><p>Raj gazed at me for a moment. He loved a show. He loved people to sell him on ideas, and I was going to give him exactly what he wanted. </p><p>“Thrall, you’re dismissed,” he said, looking off to the side. “It’s just us now,” he replied after a moment. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> out with the Force to see if he was lying, but I couldn’t feel Thrall in the room. </p><p>“I was on Starkiller Base not too long ago,” I began, sly and casual, “And I had this conversation with Ymir that I just can’t seem to shake.”</p><p>Raj was raising an eyebrow, equally interested and skeptical, “Oh? What did he have to say?”</p><p>“We spent a long time with the engineering team. Ymir was… very focused on the timeline. He walked away with the understanding that all the plans are complete, the machinery just needs to be built and tested.”</p><p>“Lord Ymir is focused on the progress of the Base? Yes... that is very important news,” Raj said dismissively.</p><p>“What struck me was our conversation afterwards,” I continued, expecting his attitude, “After the meeting he scheduled me to meet him on Kotrea for a special assignment. He refused to say anything about it while we were on the Base together.”</p><p>“That’s vague,” Raj replied, playing hard to get. </p><p>“You know how fucking careful he is,” I replied, “But I felt him. He wasn’t going to say anything while we were on the Base, but I know he’s getting ready to move. I haven’t been able to let the conversation go.”</p><p>Raj looked at me for a long time. I sat still under his gaze. </p><p>My call was suspicious. There was no reason for him to trust me. </p><p>“Have you talked with the Superior General about this?” Raj finally asked. </p><p>“No,” I admitted, “I know it’s vague, but I haven’t been able to shake the feeling. I’m scheduled out to Kotrea in a week. He’s going to order me to take action against you.”</p><p>Raj crossed his arms, “But he hasn’t made an official offer?”</p><p>I shook my head. </p><p>“What else has he said?” </p><p>Raj was taking the bait. </p><p>I made a real show of thinking through the information, at once reluctant and sincere, “It’s just small things,” I began, “I’ve been going with Ymir to all those New Republic meetings. He’s talking about moving me into a diplomatic role while Ren takes over the Sith Academy...”</p><p>Raj made a disdainful little expression.</p><p>“...He’s making a big deal about my responsibilities within the First Order, and he’s just about done with Snoke. After our meeting with your engineering team, he feels certain that they can complete this project without any more involvement from Juall Corp.”</p><p>“Are you calling the Superior General after this?” </p><p>I sighed, “I don’t want to take this to Snoke if it’s nothing. What do you think?”</p><p>This was a nod to Raj’s ego. I was coming to him for guidance. He had a direct role to play in the intrigue. </p><p>“I’ll make the call to the Superior General,” Raj said, shrewd and calculating, “Are you going to be available?”</p><p>“Yeah, I got some meetings, but that’s about it,” I said. </p><p>“Then stay by your comms,” he replied, “We’ll reply soon.”</p><p>Raj closed the line. </p><p>So far, so good. </p><p>I let myself enjoy the moment, leaning back in my chair with my arms behind my head. </p><p>A thrill of excitement rolled through me. After all these years, after all this going back and forth, I was finally taking action. </p><p>I needed to update Ahobri and Euora. I couldn’t keep them in suspense. </p><p>They were sitting in my bedroom, watching a newsfeed on the holoprojector. </p><p>“How did it go?” Ahobri asked, abruptly rising. </p><p>I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek, “I made Raj feel like he was getting front row seats to the big game,” I said, “He’s calling Snoke right now.”</p><p>Euora rose and clapped me on the back. She was grinning, and I liked the fire in her eyes. “Do we know when they’ll get back to you?”</p><p>I shrugged, “Probably a few hours. They’re going to be cautious.”</p><p>“This is incredible,” Euora said, “I’ve been waiting for this day, and… Gods! We’re really doing this.”</p><p>Ahobri had her arms around my neck, “I love you,” she said, giving me a kiss. </p><p>I was grinning as our lips parted. I looked over at Euora. “Let’s go spar. I’m can’t sit still.”</p><p>Ahobri joined us with her tablet tucked under her arm, keeping an eye on the comms. </p><p>***</p><p>It had taken a week to finalize our plan to take down the three leaders of the First Order. Our conversations had carried long into the night. We argued for hours over the details and strategy. Nothing was off the table. We thought through options one by one, constantly pulled away on tangents and side-observations. </p><p>I could have used Yuri’s input, but he refused to come around. It had just been me, Thess, Euora, and Ahobri. Thess and I had the most knowledge of the First Order. Euora was used to planning missions. Ahobri had insights on ways to manipulate Ymir, Snoke, and Raj to our ends. </p><p>Unfortunately, with such powerful enemies, even our best plan wasn’t airtight. There were too many variables to account for. </p><p>Snoke and Raj were my first targets. I felt confident that if I could get them alone, I’d be able to take care of them. </p><p>Attacking the two of them would force Ymir’s hand. He wouldn’t send the First Order after me. This was personal. He would challenge me himself. </p><p>Kylo Ren was on The Finalizer, patrolling the expansion zone. I wanted to keep him out of it, but that was impossible. I’d have to face him sooner or later. He would either be at Ymir’s side, or hunting me afterwards as the new leader of the First Order. </p><p>I had no desire to hurt him. Everyone was playing him. His mother and uncle had groomed him as a Jedi, the next in line in their political legacy. Ymir took him as a trophy. Snoke had flat-out said he planned to use Ren until he was no longer useful. </p><p>All Ren wanted was to be a good student and soldier. </p><p>I was going to take away his Master, and everything that he held dear. </p><p>***</p><p>Training with Euora helped keep my mind in the present. I had my lightsabers out, while Euora had a long stave, both ends protected by plasma filament. </p><p>I had set our plans in motion. There was nothing else for us to do. </p><p>Thess came by, taking a seat next to Ahobri. </p><p>“How’d the call go?” she asked. </p><p>Euora and I halted our exercises. </p><p>“Raj took the bait,” I replied, deactivating my lightsabers, “We’re just waiting on the call from Snoke.”</p><p>Everything about Thess was subdued. Her shoulders were hunched. She had her knees pulled up to her chest, her bare feet resting on the seat. </p><p>She nodded- a bob of her head, “That’s good.”</p><p>When she glanced up at me, I was encouraged by the glimmer of hope in her yellowish eyes. </p><p>“How are you holding up?” I asked, approaching her. </p><p>Her mouth twitched, “We’re okay.”</p><p>The biggest hole in our plan was Yuri. He remained loyal to Ymir, Ren, and the First Order. But he said he wasn’t going to do anything that could lead Thess to getting hurt. One word from him could undo everything. I had my awareness focused on him day and night alert for any sign he would betray us. </p><p>I put my hand on Thess’ shoulder. There was nothing I could say that would fix this situation. She had remained loyal to me and found herself at odds with the man she loved. </p><p>Thess sat with us while Euora and I resumed our sparring practice. </p><p>After an hour, we were sweaty and exhausted and there was still no word from Snoke. </p><p>Thess went back to her suite to spend time with Yuri. The rest of us circulated through the public floors of my house, keeping up appearances. </p><p>Only the four of us knew about this plan. Yuri knew what I intended, but he didn’t know anything about what we had decided. </p><p>As soon as we took action, Troye and the other people I hired from Jukhara would be spirited away into hiding. Ahobri had established contact with the agent Ekene knew. It was a tall order to disappear thirty people, and I was paying handsomely for it. </p><p>I had to make sure they stayed safe. I couldn’t bear to have any of these people hurt because of my actions. </p><p>It was hours before Snoke called me back. </p><p>Ahobri got the alert on her tablet. </p><p>We didn’t answer right away. </p><p>Ahobri sent a message: [Siobhan is in a meeting. She’ll call when she’s done.]</p><p>It was the kind of minor rudeness that he would expect from me. </p><p>I didn’t want to look eager. I didn’t want him to think I had a larger plan. </p><p>We waited two hours to respond. Ahobri and Euora stayed downstairs while I made the call. I didn’t want to risk Snoke discovering that they were hanging around.  </p><p>Night had just fallen over Taris. I could see the city moving outside my office window.</p><p>Snoke looked irritated, emotion pulling at his twisted face. </p><p>“You left me waiting,” he said with displeasure. </p><p>I gave a shrug, “Didn’t Ahobri tell you I was in a meeting?”</p><p>“She did,” Snoke replied. </p><p>It was my turn to play hard to get. If I looked too eager, they would know it was a trap. </p><p>“Raj passed along a very interesting message. I’d like to hear it from you,” Snoke continued. </p><p>“Look, I don’t have anything concrete,” I said, tracing a pattern with my finger on top of the desk, “But I was out with Ymir a few weeks ago, at that council meeting and then Starkiller Base-”</p><p>“I’m aware,” Snoke said impatiently. </p><p>“Well, the whole time, Ymir was talking about my future, and where he sees me going in the First Order,” I said, giving him a sliver of truth, “And he was real happy with the progress the engineers are making. The Base is ahead of schedule. All the plans are finished, and he scheduled me to come out to Kotrea this week for my next assignment-”</p><p>“And he refused to tell you what the assignment is,” Snoke finished, with a heavy-lidded look. </p><p>He was making a show of his doubt. This was all just a part of the game. </p><p>I made another shrug. “I mean, he’s never been cagey with me before,” I said, “I just can’t shake the feeling that he’s getting ready to move. But it might all be nothing. Are you and him planning an assignment for me? Do you know what he’s talking about?”</p><p>Snoke was frustrated and skeptical. If I was giving him good information, this could be his chance to gain the upper hand on Ymir. </p><p>He took in a breath. “I’m not aware of any new assignments,” he admitted, “When did you say you have a meeting with him?”</p><p>“Six days from now,” I answered. </p><p>This was a bold lie. </p><p>Snoke could contact Ymir, or use his other channels to call my bluff, but at the same time, it wasn’t like anyone would admit to a secret meeting. </p><p>I had Snoke in a bind. </p><p>He paused, watching me carefully. I could feel the man <i>reaching</i> for me, but my power in the Darkside had only grown since we last met. He couldn’t reach into my heart or my thoughts. </p><p>“We’ll meet with you tomorrow,” Snoke said. </p><p>“Tomorrow?” I protested, my expression screwing up in surprise, “I already have meetings-”</p><p>“We’re sending a shuttle for you,” he continued, cutting me off, “It will arrive at 1000-”</p><p>“Mind giving me a little more notice?” I complained. </p><p>“I’m sure your criminal liaisons will understand,” he sneered, “You’ll be picked up at 1000 sharp. You’ll be allowed to bring your lightsabers, nothing else.”</p><p>Oh fuck yes. This was exactly what I wanted. </p><p>“You can’t be serious!” I exclaimed, “I can fly myself out to Taltua.”</p><p>“We’re not meeting there,” he snapped. </p><p>“Then where are we meeting?” </p><p>This was what Snoke expected from me. I was combative and short sighted. </p><p>“Siobhan, I hope you can understand our concern,” Snoke began, in the most condescending tone he could manage, “You reached out, saying that Lord Ymir is intending to use you against us. I feel like we should meet, but I have suspicions that you might be working against us.”</p><p>I made a sharp, roguish smile. I send out a tendril of my awareness towards him - the faintest whisper. He and Raj had already planned out the meeting place. </p><p>“We’ll be conducting this meeting on my terms,” Snoke continued, “You’ll be picked up at 1000. You will not be allowed to bring any bags or crew members with you. There will be a security detail keeping watch.”</p><p>I gave him a testy look, “I guess I need to let some folks know I’ll be leaving tomorrow.”</p><p>Snoke shut off the line. </p><p>The two men were playing perfectly into my hands. </p><p>Despite their suspicions, they felt they had an opportunity to use me. We were all looking over our shoulders, not trusting any of the people around us, and keeping an eye out for anything that could give us an advantage. From their perspective, if I was meeting with Ymir in six days, they might have their best opportunity for me to kill him. </p><p>I called Ahobri, Thess, and Euora up to my room. </p><p>It was nighttime now, the usual party was going on. Beneath us, our people were drinking and dancing with no clue that the four of us were going to try to upend the First Order. </p><p>“They’re in,” I announced as we took our seats, gathered in a circle. </p><p>“So when’s the meeting?” Euora asked. </p><p>“I’m getting picked up at 1000, tomorrow,” I said. </p><p>Ahobri was giving me a serious look. “That’s nineteen hours away,” she observed. </p><p>It was plenty of time, and no time at all. We had prepared for Snoke to want to move quickly.</p><p>Across from me, Thess looked tired. But I didn’t get the sense she was wavering. </p><p>“You said you were getting picked up?” Thess asked. She was sitting with her legs crossed in the seat, gripping her ankles. </p><p>I nodded, “Snoke’s trying to control as much as he can. They’re sending a shuttle for me. He wouldn’t tell me where they’re meeting-”</p><p>“Fuck!” Euora grumbled. </p><p>I gave her a look, “I was able to get an idea of the location,” I continued, “We’re going to be meeting in Raj’s territory.”</p><p>Ahobri activated the holoprojector. </p><p>“I searched Snoke’s thoughts. I got the impression that we’d be meeting on one of Raj’s ships, somewhere in the Core Worlds. Juall Corps headquarters are on Kuat.”</p><p>Ahobri was pulling up a map. </p><p>“Do we have any other information?” Euora asked. </p><p>I shook my head. “Not about the location. I didn’t want him to know I was searching his mind, so I didn’t push it,” I made a sarcastic smile, “Snoke’s being real cautious. He said I’m only allowed to bring my lightsabers with me.”</p><p>“We’ll have to be careful with the tracker then,” Ahobri said. </p><p>We had planned for a secret meeting. I had a handheld comms that doubled as a homing device. </p><p>“I’m planning to wear my robes,” I replied, “I can hide armor and I’m certain we can tuck my comms in with it.”</p><p>“What if it’s not on Kuat?,” Thess asked, motioning for Ahobri to pass over the controls for the holoprojector, “What if they take you to Unknown Regions, or somewhere in the Outer Rim?”</p><p>“I looked into Snoke’s mind,” I assured her, “It’s going to be somewhere on Raj’s turf.”</p><p>That was a good strategy. It wouldn’t be unusual for him to meet with Raj, and it all but eliminated the chance Ymir’s eyes and ears would be watching. </p><p>Now that we had this piece of information, we began fine-tuning our plans. Thess and Euora would leave just after me. As soon as I left hyperspace, I’d activate the homing beacon in my comms. Thess and Euora would talk themselves into Raj’s hangar.</p><p>There were a couple of things working in my favor. Thess and Euora were known members of my team. They had a certain amount of authority and clearance within the First Order, through their association with me. </p><p>It shouldn’t be too hard to stall. Snoke and Raj loved to talk. They were very self-important. I would easily be able to drag out the meeting, and give Thess and Euora time to get in. </p><p>Euora would be my back-up and Thess would be my getaway driver. </p><p>Tomorrow, Ahobri would be leaving the house to take information about Starkiller Base to the Resistance. </p><p>We had gone through our ranks and found a little Ardennian pilot, Luis, that we trusted to fly Ahobri. He was one of the regular smugglers from one of the smaller outfits, and he didn’t know about our plot. He had a ship of his own, set up for smuggling with multiple signatures and ways to disguise the vessel. </p><p>Ahobri and I had met with him and explained that she was doing a secret diplomatic mission sometime soon. He was being paid handsomely, half up front and half when Ahobri arrived. </p><p>Still, Thess and I had spent this past week training Ahobri  to use a blaster. </p><p>It wasn’t certain that the Resistance would take her in. She didn’t expect to be welcomed with open arms, of course. She was known as my right-hand woman, so she was deeply tied to the First Order. They might think that Ahobri was coming to them as a spy or double agent. </p><p>We hoped that the news of my assassinations would spread, and that would give her an opening to convince the Resistance about Starkiller Base. After this coup, Thess, Euora, and I would run to the Resistance for protection. I could only imagine how Holdo would react. </p><p>***</p><p>While Thess, Euora, and I went down to the hangars to review Sawai’s weapon stores, Ahobri met with Luis. </p><p>As soon as I was picked up in the shuttle, Euora and Thess were going to travel towards Kuat. Ahobri would call the number for Ekene’s fixer and alert our core staff that they would be leaving for their own protection. </p><p>Yuri was our biggest concern. I thought about him as Euora and I worked in the cargo bay. </p><p>He had the most to lose. So far, he had kept to himself, and stayed out of our way. My presence kept him in check. I could read his thoughts. I could choke him to death without laying a finger on him. But, as soon as he knew our plans were in motion, as soon as I had left the house, all bets were off. Once I was in hyperspace, there was nothing stopping him from taking action against us. He could call Ymir, Ren, or Snoke and explain that I was moving against them. </p><p>Euora and I went through our weapon’s stores. We had an impressive collection of flash grenades, thermal detonators, blasters, and four weaponized speeders. </p><p>“I need you to keep an eye on Yuri tomorrow,” I told Euora. </p><p>Even though Thess was all the way up in the cockpit running systems checks, I still kept my voice down. </p><p>“I’ve had my eye on him ever since you started letting Kylo Ren stay here,” Euora said, with a wry twist to her lips. </p><p>“Thess already knows not to say anything to him,” I said, checking the power cell on one of the blaster rifles, “But he might start putting things together, and I’m worried that he’s going to move as soon as I’m out of the house.”</p><p>“What do you want me to do if he steps out of line?” Euora asked. </p><p>“Kill him.”</p><p>Euora gave a curt nod. </p><p>I hated saying those words. Yuri had been a true friend to me, up until now. It would destroy Thess, but I refused to let this mission be compromised. It was too important. </p><p>When our work was done in the cargo bay, we joined Thess in the cockpit. </p><p>“How’s this bird doing?” I asked. </p><p>“Ready for tomorrow,” Thess said, putting on a brave face, but I noticed the tightness around her eyes and mouth. </p><p>From the cockpit, I saw Ahobri enter the hangar. She raised one green arm. </p><p>Our group headed over to Luis’s ship to do the system’s checks ourselves. We made sure she was properly stocked with weapons.</p><p>An hour later, our work was at an end. We had made our plans and done as much preparing as we could. </p><p>Tomorrow, we’d find out if it was enough. </p><p>We returned to my rooms and I opened a bottle of wine. </p><p>I could feel everyone’s nerves. </p><p>This might be our last night together. </p><p>I filled everyone’s glasses and stood to make a toast. </p><p>Thess was perched in her chair, her knees drawn up to her chest. She had her closely cropped hair and plain clothes. </p><p>Ahobri was looking up at me with her kind, brown eyes, wearing a gauzy, pink and white dress. She was so beautiful she made my heart break. </p><p>Euora was the most relaxed of our group; she sat with an arm over the back of the chair, long legs splayed out in front. She looked at me pridefully.</p><p>“I’ve thought about this day for a long time, but yesterday I had a realization,” I said, looking at the three women around me. “I always imagined I’d be doing this alone. I never imagined I’d have a group of people to help. I want you all to know how much I love you, and how grateful I am to have you at my side.”</p><p>We touched our glasses together. </p><p>Ahobri and Thess were starting to cry. A couple of tears of my own escaped. </p><p>We split the bottle between the four of us and didn’t open another. None of us would be getting drunk tonight. </p><p>Our conversation was strained and awkward - there was no way to avoid it. </p><p>In some ways, we were saying goodbye; in others, we were rallying ourselves, committing to our actions. </p><p>We would be taking on the First Order. Where so many had failed, we had to believe we would be successful. </p><p>When our glasses were empty, we parted ways. </p><p>I gave Thess a long hug. This might be her final night with Yuri, but she couldn’t tell him what was going on. It was too dangerous for him to know our plans. </p><p>“I’m so sorry, Thess,” I said, holding her close and kissing the top of her head. I felt the soft bristles against my lips. “I love you.”</p><p>“We’re doing the right thing,” she said. Her voice was soft - that gentle burbling sound. </p><p>Tomorrow morning, we’d meet in the gym at 0600. Ahobri would practice her marksmanship while Euora and I trained. We’d have breakfast together, and then I’d be picked up to meet with Snoke and Raj. </p><p>After tomorrow, our lives would never be the same. </p><p>***</p><p>Ahobri and I were curled up together, laying on top of my sheets. I had my arm around her shoulders. </p><p>Both of us were still, wrapped up in our separate thoughts. The quiet between us was strange. I found myself <i>reaching</i> for her. </p><p>“Do you feel ready for tomorrow?” I asked. </p><p>“No,” she answered, kissing my cheek, “Do you?”</p><p>“Fuck no,” I replied with a grin. </p><p>I was worried about her plan to go to the Resistance. I wished that she was going into hiding instead. I wished I knew she would be safe. </p><p>“Have you talked with Ekene?” I asked. </p><p>We couldn’t afford to let him know anything about our plans, but he was still a dear friend. Both of us were about to lose him. </p><p>“I did,” Ahobri answered, with a slight frown, “I needed to talk to him, but I was so nervous the whole time…” She took a breath, “This is going to hurt him so much.”</p><p>I pulled Ahobri more closely to me, wrapping both of my arms around her. </p><p>Ekene and I hadn’t talked in several weeks. Our relationship had become more distant as time had passed. </p><p>When he agreed to help find the house, I had lied, making him think that I had given up on my plans for revenge. At the time, I had been wavering, and it was easier for him to believe that I decided not to go through with it. </p><p>He still loved Ymir. It would tear him apart to hear the news.</p><p>“I can’t think about this like it’s our last night together,” Ahobri said, turning to kiss me. Her lips were full and tender against mine. </p><p>I let out a sigh, bringing both of my hands up to the side of her face. </p><p>“It doesn’t have to be,” I told her, “I’m so fucking happy you’re taking this to the Resistance.”</p><p>I had given her Vin’s contact information. We were going to make sure people found out about Starkiller Base. The Resistance would be able to stop it before it became operational, before anyone could be hurt. </p><p>“If you told me I’d be doing this a year ago, I wouldn’t have believed you,” Ahobri said, rolling on top of me, straddling my hips. </p><p>I ran my hands along the curves of her waist, over her thighs. “You’re strong,” I said, “When I got to The Outpost, you and Jukhara were the only two people who could put me in my place.”</p><p>Ahobri leaned down, kissing me. “At first, I thought you were fearless, and it made me hate you a little,” she said, “Then I realized that you got scared, you just never let it stop you.”</p><p>We looked at each other, our hands travelling along each other’s bodies. Our exploration felt sacred. </p><p>“You’re the only person I’ve ever loved,” I whispered. </p><p>The sex was slow, almost solemn. </p><p>Neither of us wanted this to be a goodbye, but it was unavoidable. </p><p>I was going up against the most powerful men in the Galaxy. I didn’t know if I’d be successful. Ahobri was running to the Resistance. </p><p>After tomorrow, all that lay ahead was uncertainty. </p><p>We kissed and wept and made love. </p><p>For those hours, it felt like the world had stopped around us. All that existed were our bodies, our connection. </p><p>Ahobri fell asleep in my arms. I listened to her breath slow, deepen, then grow rough as she began to snore. With a faint smile on my face, I allowed myself to drift off next to her. </p><p>
  <b>II</b>
</p><p>When I woke up the next day, the world had a strange, unreal quality, like I was watching myself from a distance. </p><p>Ahobri was next to me in bed. We lay nestled in the covers together, enjoying these peaceful moments. </p><p>She checked the messages on my comms to see if there was anything new from Snoke or Raj, but there was nothing.</p><p>We met in the training room. </p><p>Euora was focused, her eyes were bright. </p><p>Thess looked exhausted; there were dark circles under her eyes, and I noticed she was wearing the same clothes from yesterday. </p><p>Ahobri and I had been able to spend our night making love, emotionally preparing for today. </p><p>Thess couldn’t tell Yuri what was going on. I hoped that she had been able to connect with him in some way. </p><p>“How you holding up?” I asked her. </p><p>“I’m ready,” she answered, with a determined nod. </p><p>Thess worked with Ahobri on target practice. Ahobri wasn’t going to be a sure-shot, but she had the basics down. I wasn’t going to send her off without the ability to defend herself. </p><p>Euora pushed me in training. </p><p>We were using metal training staves, my lightsabers were safely secured to my belt. </p><p>Euora made contact with me a couple of times, rapping the end of the metal pole against the top of my hand, then catching my upper arm. </p><p>“Siobhan! Wake up!” she barked. </p><p>I gave my head a shake. She was right. I felt like I was light years away. </p><p>My thoughts were sliding around in my head. Hours from now, I would be fighting Snoke and Raj. After that, I’d be fighting Ymir. </p><p>Euora took a step forward, clapping me on the shoulder. “Stay here,” she said, “Not in there.” She pointed at my temple. </p><p>I grinned, “Overthinking isn’t usually a problem for me.”</p><p>***</p><p>After our physical training, I had time alone with my thoughts. </p><p>I returned to my meditation room. The window had been replaced, the surviving plants had been repotted and replacements had been brought in. The walls were refinished and the floor was clean. </p><p>I set an alarm for half an hour, and took a seat on the floor. I was getting used to this new kind of meditation. </p><p>I didn’t need to drop into the Darkside anymore. </p><p>There was a connection point in my heart. </p><p>The world had opened up to me as the Force became intertwined with my daily life. There was a new depth to my surroundings. I felt people’s thoughts and intentions more clearly. I sensed the flow of energy around me - the movement of the city, the life on Taris. </p><p>The first few days it had been heady and distracting. After a week, I was better able to pick out what was important, and let the rest of it pass through. </p><p>I practiced surrender. I would need every bit of power I could pull towards me to make it through this day. </p><p>I had been avoiding thoughts of killing Ymir. Snoke and Raj were my first targets, and I had only allowed myself to think about them. </p><p>Even now, with all my resolve, my heart still stammered when I thought about fighting Ymir. </p><p>Sitting on the floor, my legs crossed, hands on my knees. I practiced keeping my heart open to the Darkside. I explored my intention to kill Ymir. </p><p>Inside my mind, I heard the energy responding. </p><p>Ymir was powerful. Once I killed him, his soul would be part of that vast, keening void that was the Darkside. </p><p>Hungry shrieks echoed around me. </p><p>Alive, Ymir was working to snuff out the Light and usher in a new era for the Sith, but in death, his aura would feed the pit all the same. Alive or dead, the Darkside didn’t care.  </p><p>If I could harness the power to kill someone as strong as Ymir, I would be serving the will of the Darkside. </p><p>In my meditation, I allowed myself to sink into that old memory. </p><p>I was on the ground, dazed, trying to pull air into my body. Ahead of me, Ymir held my father <i>suspended</i> above the floor. </p><p>I remembered how my father’s feet kicked uselessly. His hands were at his own throat as he struggled against the invisible power holding him. </p><p>There was a blaze of yellow, and a heavy, wet sound as my father dropped to the ground in two pieces.  </p><p>In that moment of pure hatred, I had found myself drawn to Ymir, his connection to the Force resonating inside of me. </p><p>We were bound together. </p><p>“Hold onto your hate, girl. And we’ll meet again,” his words echoed in my mind. </p><p>I had allowed myself to be distracted and pulled off this path, over and over.</p><p>Now I was going to act. </p><p>The Darkside rose in my heart. It would give me the power. I would give it blood.</p><p>***</p><p>When I returned to my rooms, Ahobri was sitting with Euora and Thess, sharing breakfast. </p><p>I moved past them with a nod, needing some time to myself. I went to the shower, dropping my training clothes on the floor. </p><p>I dried my hair with automatic motions, wrapping it into a braid when I was done. I brushed my teeth. </p><p>These mundane tasks felt jarring. </p><p>This was the most important day of my life, and so far, I had just gone through my usual routine.</p><p>It was almost 0900. </p><p>Ahobri had laid my Sith robes out on the bed, the layers of light armor next to them. </p><p>I wasn’t ready to put them on. </p><p>I joined Ahobri, Thess, and Euora wearing a simple bathrobe. </p><p>We shared a meal. I wanted our conversation to be easy and fun like it usually was, but it was different. </p><p>Last night we had said our goodbyes that we hoped weren’t goodbyes. </p><p>We made a final review of our plans, then Euora and Thess stood to go. I could have my last minutes alone with Ahobri. </p><p>“I’ll see you on Kuat,” I said, giving each of them a hug. </p><p>Afterwards, Ahobri helped me get dressed. </p><p>I put on the bottom layers of my robes- black pants, a black tunic, and my boots. The light armor went on top. I had reinforced panels that spanned my chest and back. There were panels along the fronts and sides of my arms and legs. The armor wouldn’t hold up to a direct shot, but it was something.</p><p>We finished with the outer layers of my robes, hiding the protective clothing underneath the black and crimson fabric. </p><p>Ahobri secured the wide belt around my waist. The memory of Ymir unfastening it flashed across my mind; I remembered how comfortable I felt, kneeling at his side, resting my head against his leg. </p><p>I attached my lightsabers to my belt. </p><p>Ahobri tucked the small handheld comms into my robes, hidden under fabric and held in place by my belt. </p><p>I would be able to activate the homing beacon with a simple motion of my hand. All anyone would see was me smoothing out my robes. </p><p>When I was dressed, Ahobri surveyed her work, fussing with my shoulders and belt, making them perfect. </p><p>“You’re going to be a hero, Ahobri,” I told her, giving her a kiss. </p><p>No matter what happened to me, the Galaxy would learn about Starkiller Base because of her. </p><p>“You can do this, Siobhan,” she said, her green hand gently resting against my cheek. </p><p>We walked out to the landing together, our hands clasped. I had my leather gloves tucked in my belt so I could feel her skin. </p><p>The shuttle was right on time. </p><p>It was an elegant thing, built for one passenger and a pilot. I could see a droid sitting in the cockpit. </p><p>The ship touched down, immediately lowering the ramp for me to enter. The hydraulics hissed, and steam rose into the morning air. </p><p>I looked at Ahobri, doing my best not to cry. She wasn’t able to hold her tears back. </p><p>“I love you,” I said, kissing her. </p><p>“I love you,” she echoed. Her voice was choked and faint with emotion. </p><p>It was torture to part from her, to let go of her hand. </p><p>I did it all the same, striding up the ramp. </p><p>At the entrance, I looked back, meeting Ahobri’s eyes. </p><p>I would have never made it this far without her. </p><p>She understood. </p><p>I turned and entered the shuttle. </p><p>
  <b>III</b>
</p><p>Once I was inside the cabin, the pilot droid closed the ramp behind me and started to rise from the landing. </p><p>“Greetings, Madam Zhang,” the droid said as it steered us into the lanes of traffic leaving Taris. </p><p>I took a seat on a bench, looking around the posh interior, all in shades of cream and gold.</p><p>This was definitely one of Raj’s ships. </p><p>Across from me was an egg-shaped, white leather chair, and a short counter, lined with panels and drawers </p><p>Hovering near the ceiling was a round security probe, watching my every move. </p><p>The pilot was going through its programmed spiel, “Madam, inside the counter you’ll find food and drink. You can find entertainment on the console.”</p><p>Food and drink? Entertainment?</p><p>“How long’s the flight?” I asked, keeping my tone casual. </p><p>The shuttle was all one cabin. The droid sat in a white leather chair. I watched the sun glinting off of its silver chassis. From the shape of its forearms, I could tell it had access to at least two blasters. </p><p>“I can’t discuss the details of the flight with you, madam,” the droid answered in a precise mechanical voice. </p><p>It was worth a try. </p><p>I hoped the food and entertainment were just standard courtesies, not a sign of a much longer trip. </p><p>If Thess and Euora travelled to the wrong place, I would be stuck doing this mission alone. </p><p>I turned on the bench, resting my elbows on the windowsill outlined in gold. </p><p>The city shrunk beneath us, finally disappearing in the smoggy, orange-tinted clouds. We rose through the atmosphere, entering open space. </p><p>“Madam, we have one minute before hyperspace,” the droid said, its branching metal fingertips making the calculations so much faster than I could. </p><p>I stayed on the bench, gazing out the window, looking at Taris. Just another unremarkable planet in the Outer Rim. </p><p>Ymir’s voice rose in my memory, from our flight to Korriban - another trip into the unknown. Ymir had asked me what I was leaving behind as I started my training as a Sith. </p><p>At the time, I hadn’t been able to give him a real answer. I didn’t have money or status. But even then, I trusted that I would be reunited with Ahobri. </p><p>The tears came suddenly, and I put my hand over my mouth, hating that the surveillance droid was recording this. </p><p>I had gone to Korriban without a credit to my name. Without even my own clothing. I was taken to that planet with nothing to lose. </p><p>Now, I had created a home for myself and my friends. My relationships with Ahobri and Ren were significant. There were people that relied on me. People would notice that I was gone. </p><p>The planet disappeared behind me as we entered the swirling blue void of hyperspace. </p><p>I was giving up everything. </p><p>***</p><p>During the trip in hyperspace, I worked to establish a sense of calm. </p><p>Snoke and Raj would be doing all they could to get under my skin and figure out my game. </p><p>There couldn’t be a single crack in my composure. I needed them to think I was on their side until Thess and Euora joined me. </p><p>I thought about Adram, now a brainwashed member of Snoke’s elite guard. I wondered if Ymir had planted him there to keep an eye on Snoke - if so there was a chance he would help me, but the last time I had felt him there was something… blank about his energy. </p><p>Another point of uncertainty, but it was worth a shot. </p><p>As I focused myself, my sadness began to give way to excitement. A thrill moved through me as I thought about fighting Snoke. </p><p>I hated the man. He was a coward that had other men fighting his battles for him. He always kept his distance, relying on tricks to keep himself safe. He had never fought fairly. I liked the idea of hurting him. For once, he would have to face consequences. </p><p>These thoughts strengthened my connection with the Darkside and built up the resolve in my heart. </p><p>Four hours later, the droid brought us out of hyperspace. </p><p>I made a silent prayer of thanks. We were in the Galactic Core. Even if I was wrong about Kuat, Thess and Ahobri couldn’t be far away. At least we weren’t in the Unknown Regions. </p><p>I had sprawled out on the white carpeted floor, my head cradled in my hands. As I rose to my feet, I brushed my thumb along the top of my comms, tucked away under the layers of my belt and robes. </p><p>There was a small chance the surveillance droid would be able to pick up the signal, but it was worth the risk. </p><p>I returned to the bench, staring out the window. </p><p>I couldn’t see a planet yet, but I saw TIE fighter patrols zipping past us. </p><p>We had prepared for this level of security. </p><p>Thess and Euora should be minutes away. Ahobri would be flying with Luis, headed towards a Resistance base in New Republic territory.</p><p>My staff, Troye, Ido, Quann, and the others should be getting rushed into hiding, kept safe from the retaliation of the First Order. </p><p>I thought about Yuri. </p><p>Thess had told us that he was considering going into hiding once we made our move. Maybe he meant it, maybe he didn’t. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> for him, but I felt… nothing…</p><p>“Madam, we’ll be landing in two minutes,” the droid announced. </p><p>I returned to myself, checking the edges of my aura, making sure that Snoke couldn’t reach into my heart. </p><p>I could feel him from here. He was simmering with distrust and greed. He felt this could be an opportunity, while also suspecting a trap. </p><p>He was right where I wanted him. </p><p>The droid didn’t take me planet-side. I was brought aboard one of Raj’s massive yachts. </p><p>I had never seen this ship before. Snoke was doing his best to remove any advantages I had. </p><p>With security this tight, Thess and Euora wouldn’t have an easy time getting aboard. But they were both excellent smugglers; I trusted that they’d find a way. </p><p>As we cruised into the hangar, I scanned the parked ships. There were two other shuttles just like mine already parked, along with a very luxurious military transport vessel. It was First Order, custom build. This had to be Snoke’s ship. </p><p>There was a welcome party waiting for me. </p><p>Thrall stood, dressed in white, her hands clasped in front of her. Two of Snoke’s crimson guards flanked her, and there were six stormtroopers behind them. </p><p>The message was clear. Snoke had brought his own security for this meeting. </p><p>I disembarked to a formal salute from the stormtroopers. The red armored guards didn’t move. I could feel Adram, standing with a long pike held at ease. There was disturbing blankness to his aura. A wave of goosebumps rolled down my neck. </p><p>Thrall was fighting to squash her fear as I approached. </p><p>“Madam Zhang,” she greeted, with a demure bow. </p><p>“Thrall, I’m glad to see you again,” I greeted. </p><p>I genuinely liked the girl. I remembered our first night together. She had seen Raj bring out the worst side of me on two occasions. He taunted me towards violence the same way I did with Ren. Thrall had seen me casually using my power against her master; I frightened her. </p><p>“I’m taking you directly to your meeting,” she said, prim and polite, “I’m sorry, but I can’t offer you anything.”</p><p>“I understand.”</p><p>The entire entourage trailed us through the ship. </p><p>Two stormtroopers walked in front of Thrall. The crimson guards were on either side of us, with four more stormtroopers in the rear. </p><p>I worked on memorizing my surroundings. </p><p>This wasn’t a military ship, but it had the same level of security. Every hallway had stormtrooper regiments. They were putting on a show of force. </p><p>When we reached the elevator, Thrall and I entered with two of Snoke’s guards. The white armored soldiers stayed behind. </p><p>In the enclosed space, we were silent. </p><p>I lazily shifted from foot to foot. </p><p>We exited, only to be joined by another escort of stormtroopers waiting outside the elevator doors. </p><p>They were really laying it on thick. </p><p>I couldn’t feel Thess or Euora yet - that wasn’t too surprising. As long as they arrived by the time I needed to escape, it didn’t matter how close they cut it. </p><p>Thrall led me down another hallway to a door flanked with two more red armored soldiers. </p><p>One of them touched a console screen, and the blast doors slid open. </p><p>I strode forward into the dim meeting room.</p><p>Snoke and Raj were seated at the back in matching chairs, bathed in overhead light. </p><p>Behind me, two of the guards entered and I heard the doors slide shut. We were finally alone together. </p><p>“Siobhan, welcome,” Snoke greeted, with a leer. </p><p>I quickly noticed they were sitting in only two chairs in the room. I would be left standing while the two men appraised me. </p><p>“So, I’m trying to figure out if I’m here as a prisoner or as a guest,” I said easily, resting a hand on my hip. </p><p>Our fight would come in due time, but first, I wanted to fuck with them a little. </p><p>“That’s entirely up to you,” Snoke replied, leaning on an elbow. </p><p>Raj didn’t say a word. He looked just as handsome as ever. He wore a fine, gray suit, with a brilliant crimson tie at his throat, a ruby pin in the center. The red brought out the blue in his eyes, almost glowing in the dim room. </p><p>Snoke was dressed in well-tailored robes, made out of metallic gold cloth - there was a slight green tint under the lighting. </p><p>I watched his face carefully. He was <i>reaching</i> for my aura at the same time as I was <i>reaching</i> for his. I noticed the faintest tug of frustration in his eyes. He couldn’t feel anything from me. </p><p>But I could see into him. </p><p>I sensed his caution, pride, greed, and a glimmer of fear. </p><p>“We have no proof that Lord Ymir plans to move against us,” Raj said. </p><p>“Do you really think Ymir would leave proof?” I shot back, crossing my arms. </p><p>Two guards stood at the wall behind Snoke and Raj. I noted their weapons; one had a pike like Adram’s, while the other held a curving scimitar.</p><p>There were four in the room with me, and two more posted outside in the hall. Not to mention the hundreds of stormtroopers. </p><p>Killing Snoke might be the least of my troubles. </p><p>“Are you prepared to give us proof?” Snoke asked. </p><p>“I am,” I replied. </p><p>This was the first of many risks I would be taking today. </p><p>I opened a corner of my awareness, allowing Snoke in. </p><p>He pushed his way into my mind, angry and brutish. He was careless, already frustrated by my act. </p><p>I was ready for this. I had stitched together a memory for him to find. </p><p>It was a combination of things - my knowledge that Ymir wanted to use me against Snoke and Raj, and our discussions to that end. I was able to create a false memory, using bits and pieces of my last visit to Starkiller Base. I had asked Ymir when he planned to move. </p><p>In this false memory, Ymir’s words were my own creation. From a certain point of view, it would sound like the truth.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>“Siobhan, we’ll move against the Superior General when I say so. We’ll have a conversation at my Estate.”</p>
</blockquote><p>Snoke <i>pushed</i> deeper, just as I expected he would. Another memory rose, and I made a show of fighting it. </p><p>Snoke saw the moment Ymir asked me to undress and kneel at his side - it was intimate and personal. I didn’t want Snoke to see it, so my reaction felt authentic. My horrified response made him feel confident he had found meaningful information. </p><p>With a cruel light in his eyes, Snoke made a dismissive snort and <i>withdrew</i> from my thoughts. </p><p>Raj’s eyes were flickering between us, understanding that something had happened, but he didn’t know what. </p><p>“Like I said, you’re Lord Ymir’s biggest weakness,” Snoke continued, “Do you feel that you’re ready to move against him? The last time we met, I only found fear and doubt in your heart.”</p><p>“I’m ready,” I answered, my voice full of resolve. </p><p>Snoke studied me from his chair, one gnarled bony hand wrapped around the end of the armrest.<br/>
He <i>reached</i> out again. His energy felt like a storm, tearing at me, trying to make an opening. </p><p>He was unsuccessful. </p><p>“You’ve been training, little Sith,” he growled. </p><p>I felt an involuntary shudder move through Raj. The last time he had used that phrase, I had left him choking on the floor. </p><p>“I’ve been training,” I agreed, “I know I’m strong enough to do this. I’m ready to accept your offer and kill Lord Ymir.”</p><p>“Yes…” Snoke said with greed bubbling in his chest, “It’s my understanding that Kylo Ren and Yuri have taken up residence in your little den of thieves. Do they know anything about this plan?”</p><p>“No,” I replied with a simple shake of my head, “Lord Ymir didn’t trust them with the information, and neither do I.”</p><p>I still couldn’t sense Thess or Euora. There were plenty of ways to drag this meeting out, but I couldn’t lose focus of the eventual fight. I wondered what was taking them so long. </p><p>“And we’ll keep Kylo Ren out of this battle,” Snoke continued, “ “We have use for Kylo Ren. I intend to keep him out of this fight. A, as you well know, he is susceptible to manipulation…”<br/>
Ren was allowing himself to be dragged along with with the insane plan to murder the rest of his immediate family; he . Ren would do anything to prove that he was loyal to the Darkside.</p><p>I made a mean little smile. I was going to take so much enjoyment from killing Snoke. </p><p>“We should finalize our terms,” I said, wanting to hear what Snoke and Raj were willing to promise me, “You said I’d have a one-third stake in the First Order. I want more specifics than that.”</p><p>Snoke fixed me with a look, “You’re rough, but shrewd. I can see how you’ve maintained your power so consistently,” he said.</p><p>“Our financial offer is a billion credits,” Raj said, saying the number with perfect composure. </p><p>I fought the urge to laugh. It was an absurd amount. </p><p>“Rajendra and I have a plan for handling the political fallout,” Snoke continued, “We’ll be painting Lord Ymir as a zealot, more interested in pursuing a Sith Empire than in Galactic governance. Upon completion of the mission, you’ll be promoted to our side, a third leader of the First Order.”</p><p>“You’ll be celebrated as a hero,” Raj added, really selling the idea, “You won’t be wasting your days working with criminals. You’ll be a leader in your own right. We want to see your true potential fulfilled.”</p><p>A wave of bitter pride was rising in my chest. This was how these men moved through the world. Everyone could be corrupted through flattery and promises of power. Everyone could be bought.</p><p>I began to laugh, full and deep. My hands were planted on my hips. </p><p>Both men were watching me sharply, not expecting this reaction. </p><p>Snoke’s expression was twisting with anger, “You find this funny, Siobhan?”</p><p>I was catching my breath, my hands just within reach of my lightsabers. I had waited as long as I could. Hopefully Thess and Euora would be here soon. </p><p>“Did you two practice this offer together?” I asked, wiping at the corner of my eye. </p><p>“What?” Snoke’s question cracked like a whip. </p><p>“You’re so full of shit,” I continued.My heart was open to the Darkside, and I was taking a moment to have it out with them before this fight started. </p><p>Snoke was glowering at me, extending his awareness. </p><p>Raj sat stiffly in his chair, watching his carefully-planned meeting go sideways right in front of him. </p><p>“The First Order only tolerates me because of Ymir,” I growled, “I’m nobody. As soon as I kill Ymir, you’ll have Kylo Ren and the rest of the military chasing me. Then you both get to wash your hands and walk away the winners.”</p><p>Snoke leaned forward aggressively. “Well done, Siobhan! You’ve figured us out!” he announced mockingly. </p><p>While Snoke was talking, I <i>gripped</i> Raj’s windpipe. </p><p>He managed one gasp, his hands flying to his throat, his heels scuffing against the smooth metal floors, trying to rise from his seat. In an instant, I felt his windpipe pop under the pressure, as I <i>crushed</i> the cartilage and muscle. </p><p>Raj toppled forward, lifeless. </p><p>Snoke was beginning to shout orders to his guards. </p><p>My lightsabers were armed in my hands. </p><p>The guards were advancing, pincering me in the room. </p><p>“Kill her!” Snoke roared, spit flying from his lips. </p><p>The world became chaos around me and I welcomed it, surrendering to the moment - surrendering to the Darkside. </p><p>I advanced on Snoke, extending an arm behind me, <i>pushing</i> the other two guards away. </p><p>Snoke slithered from his seat, moving towards the back of the room, keeping his distance from me and my two swords.</p><p>This was just where I wanted him. </p><p>We were in a box. Snoke would have to get through me to reach the door. </p><p>I had to respond to the guards though. </p><p>The one with a wicked curving scimitar was charging, and I could feel the two guards at the back of the room advancing again. My lightsaber sparked off the plasma filament protecting the guard’s sword. The one holding the pike stood back for a second, observing my movements. </p><p>I could feel Snoke <i>reaching</i> towards me, trying with all his might to take control of my body, to immobilize me. </p><p>There was nothing for him to take hold of. </p><p>I struck out at the crimson guard - left hand, right hand. My first attack created an opening, and I was ready to strike with my second weapon. I plunged my sword through the man’s breastplate, pushing through muscle and bone.</p><p>He dropped to the floor, smoke rising from his chest. </p><p>His partner was advancing, pike held in front of him. The two men behind me were closing in. </p><p>“Attack!” Snoke commanded. </p><p>He was trapped at the back of the room. </p><p>A feral grin was pulling at my mouth. Everything seemed to be happening at the same time. </p><p>The remaining three guards had me surrounded, but I was far from worried. </p><p>I could feel Adram, a spark of his hatred for me was rising to the surface. </p><p>He was the first to lunge, and I whipped around, deflecting the end of his pike. My other arm was ready to defend myself from the guard approaching behind me. </p><p>With my heart open to the Darkside, I didn’t feel like I was in danger. My movements were fluid - adrenaline singing in my veins. </p><p>My swords spun in tight, arcing patterns, creating a barrier. </p><p>One of the guards was armed with a chain-whip. He tried to capture one of my lightsabers, wrapping the electroplasma links around my blade. </p><p>With a cry of effort, I wrenched my arm upwards, breaking the hold. The two men with pikes were lashing out at me. I spun to deflect the points of their weapons and ended with a lunge at the man with the chain-whip. </p><p>I caught him in the shoulder, driving upwards towards his neck. Blood sprayed and sizzled under the heat of my lightsaber. </p><p>The room was filled with the smell of burning meat and armor. Three dead men sprawled on the floor. </p><p>Only two guards remained. Snoke was getting desperate now, but he was too far from the console by his chair. </p><p>I continued my advance on Snoke, wary of his ability to wield lightning. </p><p>I could feel the two guards posted outside the door. They had heard the sounds of our battle, but they were waiting obediently for Snoke’s command. </p><p>I moved towards Snoke, fending off attacks from the remaining two guards. He had a hand out, starting to <i>open</i> the reinforced doors. </p><p>Growling with effort, I expanded my own energy <i>pushing</i> to keep them shut. </p><p>Adram and the other guard looked for openings, expertly attacking with their pikes, out of range of my lightsabers. </p><p>Snoke saw his opportunity. I could feel his fear and anger. </p><p>With his ugly face twisting with effort, he attacked, channeling lightning. </p><p>I was ready this time. </p><p>I surrendered to it. The energy skimmed across me and I kept myself open through the pain. I allowed myself to become a conduit, directing the electricity across my body and out, towards the two remaining guards. </p><p>I heard myself roaring with pain effort. The guards fell.</p><p>I managed to catch myself on one knee. My vision was blurry and dark. My muscles were twitching uncontrollably. </p><p>Snoke was rushing past, his robes fluttering, and I lashed out with a lightsaber. I caught the side of his leg. </p><p>Snoke let out a cry of pain, so sweet to my ears, but it wasn’t enough to stop him. He hobbled to the door, slipping through the opening. </p><p>I was struggling to my feet, dazed and numb. The bay doors were still sliding open. The remaining two guards didn’t enter the room. </p><p>They were running, supporting Snoke between them. That fucking bastard was trying to escape. </p><p>The guards inside the room weren’t dead either, just wounded and stunned. </p><p>Swiftly, I stabbed each of them once through the chest until I felt the tip of my lightsaber touch the metal floor underneath them.  </p><p>I could feel Adram’s hate for me in those final seconds. </p><p>I wanted to relish it, but I needed to move.</p><p>I disarmed one of my lightsabers and hooked it to my belt, leaving the other activated. </p><p>This ship was crawling with stormtroopers and I couldn’t allow myself to get trapped in this room. </p><p>After the lightning attack, my body was stiff, but I pushed forward anyways.<br/>
Facing a ship full of stormtroopers was not going to be the same as fighting smugglers and pirates. They were trained soldiers with excellent weapons and tactical training. </p><p>I pressed myself against the opposite side of the hallway, tucked behind a small protrusion in the wall. I could hear a unit of stormtroopers advancing down the hall. Snoke hadn’t been able to alert them sooner. </p><p>One small thing to be grateful for.</p><p>I thought I felt Thess and Euora aboard. I pulled the small cylindrical comms link from my belt. </p><p>“Are you here, over?” I asked, thumb on the button. </p><p>Thess’ quiet burbling voice crackled through the speaker, and relief washed over me, “I’m in a hangar. Euora went to find you. She has comms, too, over.”</p><p>“What hangar are you in? Do you see a First Order ship in there with you, over?”</p><p>“No, it’s just a couple of shuttles. Where are you, over?”</p><p>Fuck, it was too much to hope she had landed in the same hangar as Snoke.</p><p>“I’m on the eighth floor,” I answered, hearing the stormtrooper’s armored boots approaching, “Raj is dead, but Snoke is trying to escape, over!”</p><p>That was all the time I had. </p><p>A unit of stormtroopers was almost on top of me. They were armed with blasters, while I only had two swords. </p><p>Without a ranged weapon I had to close the distance between us. I charged.</p><p>At the edge of my awareness, I felt Snoke moving through the ship. He was slow because of the wound in his leg. I sensed that he was willing to wait, to see if I would survive. </p><p>A few warning shots zipped past, and I armed my second lightsaber, whirling out into the hall. </p><p>“Open fire!” the unit commander ordered. </p><p>Red plasma bolts erupted around me. </p><p>I did my best to shield myself with the Force, using my two lightsabers to deflect the rest of them. </p><p>I pushed forward - one step, two steps, three steps. </p><p>Glancing shots skimmed my arms and legs. The hall was filled with smoky blaster residue and the smell of singed metal. </p><p>Thankfully the unit of stormtroopers was advancing, too.</p><p>I cut through the front lines - men falling under my two blades. </p><p>A thrill of fear ran through the soldiers in the back rows. Their commander was ordering them to keep firing. </p><p>I needed to get through them. I needed to get to Snoke. </p><p>My comms was crackling to life. I heard Euora’s voice over the line, but I didn’t catch what she said. I couldn’t afford to break concentration in this fight. </p><p>I cleared the unit of stormtroopers, pausing just long enough to pick up a blaster from one of the dead men. </p><p>Ahead of me, the hallway t-boned. I needed to get to the elevator on the left. Snoke was already on one of the lower levels. </p><p>I rushed into the hall, a blaster in my right hand and my lightsaber in my left. </p><p>A unit of stormtroopers was protecting the stretch of hallway that led to the elevator. They fanned out, sticking close to the walls, firing on me from covered positions. </p><p>This was the difference between a group of smugglers and the military. </p><p>They had a plan. </p><p>I hit a couple of them, but I was exposed. </p><p>From behind, I could sense a fresh unit approaching, sticking close to the walls. </p><p>It was a bad situation for everyone. The stormtroopers risked friendly fire, but I had the worst position. No one cared if a couple of troops were hit by their fellow soldiers - it would all be worth it if they could kill me. </p><p>With a roar, I charged the elevator. </p><p>My back was left unprotected, and I felt a plasma bolt, hit me in the ribs on my left side. </p><p>I howled, my lightsaber held in front of me as defense, firing into the unit of stormtroopers behind. I knew my shots were landing true without having to look.</p><p>Something at the edge of my awareness caught my attention. </p><p>At that exact moment, I heard Euora’s voice over the comms, “Cover!”</p><p>There was a loud flash and a bang. </p><p>I threw a shield of energy around myself at the last moment, closing my eyes. There was nothing I could do about the sound. </p><p>“Siobhan!” Euora yelled over the fray. She had just come up in the elevator.</p><p>My body was in temporary shock, my ears ringing and limbs uncoordinated. The stormtroopers around me had it worse - they were crouched and stunned. </p><p>It gave me the precious seconds I needed. </p><p>Instinctively, I ran towards Euora, somehow managing to keep my lightsaber at the ready, fending off inaccurate blaster fire and cutting down another two men that had made it to their feet. </p><p>“Cover!” Euora shouted again, and I felt another explosive zip over my head, arcing into the mass of dazed stormtroopers. </p><p>An explosion rocked the hallway behind me, and I stumbled towards Euora, feeling the heat at my back. Smoke was rushing towards us, and the lights blinked out. I heard the sounds of sparking wires and injured men. </p><p>“Euora!” I cried, my vision and senses just returning to me. </p><p>She was an angel, dressed like a bounty hunter in her utility clothes and light armor. She had a blaster strapped to each thigh, and a bandoleer with explosives draped across her chest. A helmet covered her braids. </p><p>“Where’s Snoke?” she demanded. I heard pain, her throat was clenched. </p><p>“Elevators,” I replied, grabbing her forearm and pulling her inside. </p><p>We slumped against the walls. I hit the button for the hangars towards the bottom of the ship. My blaster was still in my hand. </p><p>Euora and I only had seconds to prepare. My eyes ran along her, and I saw burned fabric and blood from a shot in her abdomen. </p><p>“You’re hit,” I said, dumbly, wasting time. </p><p>“You too,” she replied with a grimace, her eyes on my left side.</p><p>The seared skin was burning and pulling with every breath.</p><p>“I had to kill Yuri,” Euora said, meeting my eyes. </p><p>I didn’t have time to respond. We had arrived at our floor. </p><p>“I’ll push the stormtroopers away,” I said, taking a position in front of the elevator door, “Hit them with a grenade.” </p><p>Euora unhooked an explosive from her bandoleer, “Let’s kill Snoke.”</p><p>The door opened and I <i>pushed</i> a wave of energy towards the soldiers waiting for us. </p><p>Euora tossed a grenade overhead, and I <i>shielded</i> us from the blast. </p><p>Fire and smoke erupted in the hall. </p><p>Men were crying out in pain. Alarms were going off, orange and red lights flashing. </p><p>It was pure chaos, and I was hungry for it. </p><p>Euora and I left the elevator. </p><p>Snoke was boarding his ship. I could feel him moving at the sound of the explosion. He knew I was coming for him. </p><p>I could taste his fear. </p><p>We advanced through the hallway. There were more stormtroopers ready, red plasma bolts cutting through the smoke and fire. </p><p>Men fell under our returning shots. </p><p>We made it to the hangar door. It was locked. </p><p>Snoke was already warming the engines of his ship. </p><p>This was not good. </p><p>Blaster fire careened through the smoky hallway as more units of stormtroopers poured into battle.   </p><p>It would take precious seconds for me to get the door open, and soldiers were almost on top of us. We didn’t have enough time. </p><p>If Snoke made it into hyperspace, it was all over. </p><p>“Cover me!” I yelled to Euora, “I’m calling Thess.”</p><p>As I wrenched the comms out of my belt, Euora twisted around the hangar doorway and lobbed a grenade. </p><p>A plasma bolt hit Euora in the shoulder and she cried out in pain. An explosion rocked the hallway moments later. I was shouting into the comms. </p><p>“Thess, Snoke is on board his ship! You have to go after him! Don’t let him escape, over!”</p><p>“I’m on it! Over!” Thess replied, with grim determination in her voice. </p><p>I wanted to tell Thess I was sorry. </p><p>Yuri was dead. Euora had killed him. </p><p>I wanted to tell Thess I loved her, but there wasn’t time. </p><p>There were already more troops coming for us. Euora was slumped against the wall, holding her shoulder. </p><p>I could feel her dying. </p><p>She fired into the oncoming stormtroopers left handed, while I <i>pulled</i> open the doors, my blaster at the ready for any enemies that might be waiting inside. </p><p>Snoke’s ship was already in the air, beyond the hangar. </p><p>“No!” I screamed, uselessly. </p><p>Behind me, Euora was sliding to the ground. I ran to her, pulling another grenade off her bandoleer and chucking it into the hallway. </p><p>I was numb to the explosion. </p><p>Euora protested as I pulled her to me, dragging her inside the hangar. </p><p>There were only mechanic droids here. </p><p>“Siobhan! Go after him!” Euora demanded, her voice was weak and distant with pain. </p><p>There were tears rolling down my cheeks, “It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” I said, my voice catching. </p><p>Euora fixed me with a look, her life slipping from her. </p><p>Outside, in the hallway, more stormtroopers were coming. </p><p>“Go. Kill Snoke,” Euora said, clapping my upper arm - it stung, singed by blaster fire. </p><p>I nodded, leaving her on the cold metal floor to die. </p><p>There were three of Juall’s one-passenger shuttles in the hangar. </p><p>I recognized the one I had flown in on. I didn’t know if it had been refueled, so I ran to the one next to it, hitting the control panel to open the side hatch. </p><p>I raced aboard, my hands propelling me up the ramp and into the captain’s seat. </p><p>My fingers raced along the controls, warming up the engines as the stormtroopers arrived at the entrance to the hangar. </p><p>They began firing on my ship. I lifted off. </p><p>I had the ship’s scanners on, looking for Snoke’s vessel and Sawai. </p><p>There was nothing. </p><p>I took my stolen ship into open space, frantically <i>searching</i> with my awareness, a sinking feeling in my belly. </p><p>Still nothing.</p><p>I wrenched the comms link out of my robes. </p><p>“Thess! Thess, where are you?!” I shouted. </p><p>There was nothingness on the other end, not even static. </p><p>I noticed two TIE fighters swinging my way. I  was in one of Juall’s ships, they weren’t going to attack right away. </p><p>They pinged my ship, asking for credentials. I wouldn’t survive a firefight. This was a transport shuttle. I didn’t know what kind of weapons I had.</p><p>“Thess! Come in! Thess!” I shouted, tears blurring my vision. </p><p>I couldn’t feel her. </p><p>I couldn’t feel Snoke either, but his absence felt different. His energy was elsewhere. He had managed to escape into hyperspace.  </p><p>Ahead of me there was a patch of debris. I could just make out a haze of smoke and glittering metal, slowly expanding in space. Sawai was in pieces.</p><p>My heart was cold. </p><p>The TIE fighters pinged me again, my last chance. </p><p>I needed to get the fuck out of here. </p><p>I rushed to make hyperspace calculations. </p><p>If I was caught now, it would all be over. </p><p>With emotion closing my throat, twisting my stomach, I pressed a button on the dash, and launched into hyperspace. </p><p>***</p><p>The swirling blue void swallowed my little ship. </p><p>I curled forward in agony, a low hollow cry working its way from my chest and out my mouth. </p><p>They were dead. </p><p>Thess, Yuri, Euora. </p><p>And Snoke was still alive. </p><p>A sob wracked me. Tears flowed down my face. </p><p>The blaster wound across my ribs ached, spiking in pain with each deep breath. </p><p>I made animal sounds, alone in my cockpit, alone in hyperspace. </p><p>In a sudden flash of anger, I cracked my fist against the dash. </p><p>An alarm blared for a few seconds and red hot pain flashed behind my eyes. </p><p>Sobbing, I allowed myself to topple from the captain’s seat to the white carpet beneath me. </p><p>For several minutes, I mourned. </p><p>What the fuck had I done?</p><p>We had a plan. Snoke wasn’t as dangerous as Ymir. This was supposed to be the easy part. </p><p>I had lost everyone. </p><p>Another battle lay ahead.</p><p>I had made a direct attack on Snoke. I had killed Rajendra. Ymir had to respond. </p><p>I couldn’t lose myself to sorrow now. </p><p>If I let myself be distracted, then my friends would have died for nothing. </p><p>I wasn’t going to fail. </p><p>I only had fifteen minutes left in hyperspace. </p><p>If I knew anything about the First Order, they would start a Galaxy-wide manhunt, and this little craft didn’t have much fuel. I was going to emerge somewhere in the Core. I didn’t have access to the hidden emptiness of the Outer Rim. </p><p>I used the remaining time to start examining my injuries. </p><p>The blaster wound across my left ribs was the biggest concern. It hurt to raise my arm and crane my neck towards it. With my left arm lifted overhead, I prodded at the wound with my gloved right hand. </p><p>It was bad - a mess of torn flesh and scorched fabric. The edges of my robes had melted to my skin, joining the cauterized blood. I could smell the burned skin, and my stomach did a nasty flip. </p><p>I lowered my arm. </p><p>I checked the panels to see if I could find medical supplies aboard the ship. I poked through bottles of water, liquor and snacks, before locating one tiny first aid kit. I found some antiseptic ointment and some small bandages. </p><p>The hyperspace alert beeped from the console. </p><p>I returned to my seat. I didn’t have long to plan my next steps. </p><p>I glanced at the fuel gauge. I only had half a tank. Another problem. </p><p>As soon as I left the blue hyperspace tunnel, I opened up my comms, scanning through the channels. </p><p>Newsfeed headlines were pouring in. My name and face was being broadcast across the Galaxy: [Siobhan Zhang wanted for assassination attempt against the First Order! One hundred million credits offered for her death or capture.]</p><p>Despite my horrible situation, I felt a wicked grin spread across my face. </p><p>I was the most wanted woman in the Galaxy. </p><p>A snarling, prideful sensation rose in my chest, briefly distracting me from pain and exhaustion. </p><p>I <i>reached</i> for Ahobri. </p><p>Thank the gods, I felt her. </p><p>Fresh tears poured from my lower lids. Ahobri was alive. </p><p>There was still some hope. </p><p>With my name being broadcast as an enemy of the First Order, she had a window to connect with the Resistance, it would be easier to prove she wasn’t a spy. </p><p>As I <i>reached</i> for her, another sensation washed over me. </p><p>For a moment, I was no longer in the cockpit of the transport shuttle. </p><p>I was standing on a vast, barren planet. The edges of my vision were blurry. I saw temple ruins. Wind pulled at my clothes and hair. Dark clouds rushed across the sky. </p><p>I saw Ymir standing outside the temple. His utility ship was parked in front. I saw a black cloak fluttering and a chrome mask. </p><p>I felt overwhelming anger.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Come to me, Siobhan.</p>
</blockquote><p>Ymir’s voice echoed in my mind. </p><p>The name of the planet and her coordinates came to me. </p><p>Malachor. He was standing in the ruins of a Sith temple on Malachor. </p><p>With my eyes screwed shut, and a hand extended forward, I channeled my energy.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>It’s time to end this.</p>
</blockquote><p>My voice was strong. My heart was filled with resolve. Ymir would be able to feel it. </p><p>When I blinked open my eyes, I was back in the cockpit of my ship. </p><p>I began typing in the coordinates, working on the hyperspace calculations. </p><p>I was headed deep into the Outer Rim, almost six hours away. </p><p>It would use up every ounce of fuel in this shuttle, but stopping to refuel wasn’t an option. </p><p>With a slight tremble in my fingers, I finished the calculations and launched myself back into hyperspace. </p><p>In six hours I would battle with Ymir. </p><p>
  <b>IV</b>
</p><p>My body needed rest. </p><p>I drank a couple bottles of water, sprawling out on the white carpeted floor, staring blankly at my surroundings. </p><p>Thoughts rushed and churned through my mind. </p><p>I still didn’t feel ready, but determination had settled around my heart. </p><p>After the water and a stretch of time, I opened a few of the snacks. I didn’t want to eat, but I knew I needed the calories. </p><p>I shucked off the outer layers of my robes, seeing if there was anything I could do about the wounds along my arms and legs. I rifled through the worthless first aid kit for anything that could help with the injury over my ribs. </p><p>All the bandages were too small. The gauze wouldn’t do anything. </p><p>For a while, I sat with the little tube of antiseptic cream sitting in my palm. </p><p>I wasn’t worried about dying from an infection. </p><p>I threw it across the room and it bounced off a wall, skipping along the carpet. </p><p>I allowed myself to sink backwards, my head resting on the bundle of my outer robes. </p><p>I closed my eyes, already knowing I wouldn’t be able to sleep but I needed the rest. </p><p>There was nothing else that I could do to prepare. I’d be arriving to this fight battered and bloody. The only thing I could do was preserve my strength and keep my mind clear. </p><p>Thess, Euora, and Yuri were all gone, and Snoke was still alive. </p><p>What if I failed? What if this was all madness, and I was throwing my life away?</p><p>For a brief moment, I considered leaving hyperspace and not continuing on to Malachor. </p><p>I could run to the Resistance. I could heal, and take on Ymir with an army behind me. </p><p>A frown twisted my mouth. </p><p>I had been a part of the Resistance and I had betrayed them. Rejoining wouldn’t get me anywhere. I would just be stalling for time. </p><p>I had waited long enough.</p><p>After the war, my father followed my mother into hiding. Everyone remembered him as a hero, but he died alone, cut down in his own house. </p><p>I was the only one brave enough to step forward against Ymir. </p><p>My mother and brother were frozen in place, too afraid of dying to do anything. </p><p>Too afraid of dying…</p><p>A cold wave washed over me. </p><p>It’s what stopped my attack on Korriban. It’s what stopped me in the Kyber crystal caves. </p><p>I didn’t want to die. </p><p>I sprawled on the floor of the shuttle. There would be blood left behind when I rose. </p><p>This fight would probably kill me. </p><p>My mind pushed back against the thought, emotion snarling inside my chest.  </p><p>Ren’s words rose in my thoughts, his answer to the age old question: “What happens when we die?”</p><p>As Sith, we would rejoin the void - the starving pit that we pulled our strength from. </p><p>My heart was speeding up in my chest, and there was a sick feeling in my stomach. </p><p>Despite these sensations, I opened myself, exploring that connection point to the Darkside, widening it. I could draw endless power to myself, and when I died it would be returned to that well. </p><p>It was surrender, and I had been practicing that all my life. </p><p>My only desire was to kill Ymir. Nothing else mattered. </p><p>I drifted in sensation, <i>reaching</i> out for those keening, hungry sounds. </p><p>There had been millions of Sith before me, drawing from this power in their lifetimes, and giving themselves back over to the source in death. </p><p>My breathing settled into a slow, peaceful rhythm. </p><p>The injury across my ribs pulled with each expansion of my lungs. </p><p>Pain was irrelevant now. </p><p>I didn’t want to die, but that no longer mattered.</p><p>With deep, steady breaths, I left myself open to hurt, doubt, and heartbreak. Tears leaked out the corners of my eyes, sliding into my hair, some making it down into my ears. </p><p>The Darkside rose to fill those spaces that I left open. </p><p>Ymir was serving the Dark, amassing power that had never been seen before in the Galaxy, but if I was strong enough to defeat him, his energy would rejoin that well. </p><p>A howl ripped up from the depths of the pit, gnashing and violent.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Ymir will rid you of the Light.</p>
  <p>Are you sure you still want me?</p>
</blockquote><p>I taunted, spitting my words.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Give yourself to us girl. </p>
  <p>Unless you’re still too afraid?</p>
</blockquote><p>I was still afraid, but this time, it wouldn’t stop me.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>You can have me. You can have everything.</p>
</blockquote><p>That sense of endless expansion settled over me. It was just like my hallucination in Darth Bane’s tomb, all that time ago. This was our contract.</p><p>Energy poured through me, following my breath, but it took work to leave myself open. </p><p>The power flowed moment by moment. It wasn’t mindless sensation. </p><p>I practiced, allowing the connection point to grow, shedding all the thoughts and emotions that weren’t in service to my goal. </p><p>I was giving everything up for one last chance to kill Ymir. </p><p>
  <b>V</b>
</p><p>With half an hour left, I returned to the captain’s seat.</p><p>I only had enough fuel to make it into atmosphere. My descent to the temple would be a controlled freefall. I prepared for a crash landing.</p><p>I had to be strategic about my entry point. I didn’t have the luxury of flying over the surface, searching for my destination. </p><p>I almost appreciated having this problem. It took my mind off my fear and anticipation. </p><p>I emerged from hyperspace with Malachor sitting in front of me. </p><p>It was a dark place. Grey clouds were thick across the surface. </p><p>This planet had a strong connection to the Darkside, and I <i>reached</i> for it, allowing Ymir to feel my presence. </p><p>I pulled up the temple coordinates on my console, carefully moving through space to get into position. </p><p>The trip through atmosphere took every ounce of my piloting skills. </p><p>A storm was churning. Lightning forked through the clouds surrounding me. The wind rushed in powerful currents. </p><p>Alarms began to blare in the cockpit as the fuel ran out. The engines sputtered and choked on the fumes. </p><p>With my awareness cast around the ship like a net, I <i>supported</i> the fall, gliding down towards the surface. I was jostled from side to side as I navigated through the huge gusts of wind.  </p><p>It was nighttime, made even darker by the stormy clouds, thunder and lightning growling overhead. </p><p>The temple sat atop a range of cliffs, overlooking a choppy ocean. I gazed out at a crumbling dome and tall stone columns. </p><p>As I came down, I saw Ymir’s work ship and Ren’s TIE Silencer.</p><p>Both men were outside, waiting for me. </p><p>This wasn’t going to be a graceful landing. I was like a skipping stone, touching down hundreds of meters from the temple, bouncing across stone and gravel, gouging a deep channel in the earth. </p><p>Sparks flew and metal sheared as I completed my approach. </p><p>The impacts rattled my bones and shook my teeth. Every alarm in my ship was flashing and blaring. I relaxed into it, grinning madly. </p><p>Somehow, it seemed fitting. </p><p>I skidded to a stop fifty meters from the temple ruins. </p><p>The dust settled around my ship. I pressed the button to open the side hatch. The hydraulics hissed and fizzled, only opening the ramp a meter before stalling out. </p><p>I rose and pulled my robes around me, adjusting my wide belt, my hands resting on my lightsabers. </p><p>So this was how it ended. </p><p>There was a chance that I would still be standing when it was done. The thought of seeing Ahobri again filled me with hope. </p><p>But my only goal was killing Ymir. </p><p>It didn’t matter if I lived or died, as long as Ymir didn’t walk away. </p><p>I squeezed out of the shuttle, climbing down the pile of stone and earth my ship had churned up. </p><p>Ymir and Ren stood ahead of me, waiting at the temple entrance. </p><p>With my heart open to the Darkside, I allowed myself to think about my father. My life would not have made him proud, but here I was, striking against his enemies all the same. </p><p>Ahobri would take the information about Starkiller Base to the Resistance. </p><p>I had killed Raj. I had wounded Snoke. I would kill Ymir. </p><p>I strode forward, my boots landing firmly against the stone beneath me. </p><p>This place was barren - a wasteland. The connection with the Darkside had burned the planet, sapping its life. </p><p>I came within ten meters of Ren and Ymir, and stopped. In the background, the temple rose, a crumbling shadow behind them. </p><p>Now that I was here, I was surprised by the wave of calmness that washed over me. </p><p>We would fight in our due time, but first we would talk. </p><p>Ymir stood ahead, his hand planted on his hip just above his lightsaber. He was as beautiful as ever. His hair was pulled back, a few strands of it whipping in the strong wind. His burgundy cloak was wrapped tightly around his shoulders, the tails also moving. He also radiated calm. </p><p>He knew this day would come, just as I did. </p><p>Ren wore his robes and mask, standing rigid and seething with anger. I could almost see the tremor in his body. He wanted to fight. He couldn’t wait to attack. </p><p>And still, I felt no desire to hurt him. </p><p>“You moved against Snoke. I told you to wait for my command,” Ymir called out, his deep voice rising above the fierce gusts of wind. </p><p>There was a healthy distance between us, like we were predators that suddenly came across each other in the forest. </p><p>“...but you decided to ignore my orders, and you failed,” he said. </p><p>And now Thess, Euora, and Yuri were dead. </p><p>“Snoke ran from me,” I replied, sounding brave, “I challenged him, and he ran.”</p><p>“It doesn’t change the fact that he’s still alive,” Ymir said, “Put revenge aside. Return to me. We can assume full control of the First Order.”</p><p>“No,” I answered, projecting my voice, “It’s time to settle this!”</p><p>Ren took a step forward. I could feel his heavy gaze through the layers of chrome and metal over his face. </p><p>“What did you do to Adram and Yuri?” he demanded, voice rasping through his mask, “I can’t feel them!”</p><p>“They’re both dead,” I answered plainly. All I could do was tell him the truth. </p><p>I felt a spike of anger move through Ren and he took another step forward, his hand reaching for his lightsaber. </p><p>Ymir stopped him with a glance. Ren was shaking as he held himself back.  </p><p>“Siobhan, this is your last chance!” Ymir said, “We can move against Snoke together.”</p><p>I shook my head - it felt like a strangely simple gesture. “No,” I said, “I’ve come for you.”</p><p>Ymir met my eyes, his warm brown to my hazel. </p><p>He felt the resolve in my heart and I felt his respect. </p><p>We both understood that there was no going back. </p><p>Ren was twisting towards Ymir, the surge of his emotion felt like a beacon to me. “She killed Adram and Yuri. Let me fight her,” he said, hate turning his words to venom. </p><p>Ymir was patient. Ren was waiting for permission, like a wild animal at the end of a chain, ready to be unleashed. </p><p>“This isn’t your battle, Ren!” I shouted, “This is just between me and Ymir.”</p><p>Ren spun towards me, taking another step forward, “You killed two of my Knights!” he snarled, “You killed my brothers!”</p><p>“He’s right, you brought this on yourself,” Ymir replied, looking at me, “Kylo Ren, you can settle this with Siobhan. I’ll be waiting by the cliffs.”</p><p>Ren armed his lightsaber, blazing crimson against the stormy night. Over the ocean, lightning flashed and thunder boomed. </p><p>“I don’t want to fight you, Ren!” I called, activating my lightsabers as he began to advance. </p><p>Battling Ren on open ground was extremely dangerous for me. </p><p>I was wounded and traveling directly from one fight to another. I needed to preserve my strength.</p><p>Ren was avenging Yuri and Adram’s deaths. He wasn’t going to show me any mercy. </p><p>I had both my lightsabers in hand, blazing green. I swiftly moved towards Ren, intending to steer our fight into the temple. </p><p>In the background, Ymir left with a swirl of his cloak, walking behind the ruins. </p><p>Ren and I were within reach of one another. </p><p>He made the first swing, and I blocked him, immediately lunging with my other arm. My connection with the Darkside was fueling me. I was just a little faster, just a little stronger. </p><p>But I didn’t want to kill him. </p><p>“We could have been something!” Ren snarled as our blades clashed, “We could have had an empire!”</p><p>His sadness and hurt survived the ‘feed of his mask, and there was sorrow in my heart as I heard his pain. </p><p>When Ren had been at my house, neither of us knew it would be our last time together. I remembered the comforting warmth of his body as we curled together in my bed. </p><p>“You knew this day would come,” I told him, pressing my attack, making him block my swings. </p><p>Maybe he noticed that I wasn’t striking at his limbs. I was a battering ram, driving him towards the shadowy entrance to the temple. </p><p>“I need to fight Ymir, the same as you need to fight Luke,” I said, hoping that he would listen to me, “Please Ren, just let me pass!”</p><p>“So you can take my teacher from me, too?!” he bellowed. </p><p>His rage was surging, blinding him. He unleashed a heavy volley of attacks against me. </p><p>Tears gathered at the corners of my eyes. He was right. </p><p>I had taken away his brothers, and now I was threatening to take away the man who was more than a father to him. </p><p>Still, I wasn’t going to let Ren stop me. </p><p>I made cries of effort as I fended him off. The wound across my ribcage was surging with pain.  </p><p>Ren’s anger helped me to predict his movements. I settled around my connection to the Darkside, lashing out with my own attacks, keeping one step ahead. My aura was still cloaked. Ren was at a disadvantage. </p><p>We entered the temple ruins, our fight carrying into the entrance hall. </p><p>The floor had caved in. It was a mess of debris, stone, and wooden beams. </p><p>“Ymir is going to create an imbalance in the Force!” I said, as Ren locked blades, trying to overpower me. </p><p>“The Dark will swallow the Light!” Ren growled, through clenched teeth. </p><p>His blade was on top of me, crackling and red. </p><p>I shoved him off, my left hand blade swinging towards his torso. He had to jump back. </p><p>I was going to push him through the hole in the floor.</p><p>“Ren, I know you don’t want that!” I cried. </p><p>I pushed myself onto the attack. If I could steer Ren to the left, I knew I could get him out of my way. </p><p>“You’re denying yourself!” I said, blocking a heavy overhanded swing, “Snoke and Ymir are using you for your name, for your power. This isn’t freedom!”</p><p>I had touched a nerve. </p><p>“This whole time! You’ve acted like you’re better than us!” Ren spat. </p><p>His movements were less precise. His attacks were easy to anticipate. </p><p>“You’re not a hero, Siobhan!” he shouted, lunging forward, “Your heart is vicious!”</p><p>Ren was gathering himself to make another heavy swing, leaving himself open. </p><p>Instead of blocking with my swords, I <i>pushed</i> with all my might, my left hand outstretched, gripping my lightsaber in my palm. </p><p>Ren flew backwards, sailing down into the shadowy opening in the floor, dropping like a stone. </p><p>I deactivated my lightsabers, already running out of the ruins as I heard him crash against the ground far below. </p><p>He wasn’t dead. He’d definitely be injured, but he wasn’t dead. </p><p>I raced around the side of the ruins towards the cliffs. </p><p>It was time to face Ymir. </p><p>***</p><p>Ymir was waiting for me, facing the ocean. His hands were planted on his hips, the burgundy half-cloak fluttering in the wind. He turned towards me as I approached. </p><p>“I left Ren alive,” I announced. I had both of my lightsaber hilts still in my hands, deactivated. </p><p>Ymir stared at me with a level gaze. Behind him, lightning forked through the thick clouds, illuminating them from the inside. Thunder boomed over the dark ocean. </p><p>“You weren’t willing to kill Kylo Ren,” Ymir mused, “Are you truly prepared to kill me?” </p><p>The slightest smile played around his lips. </p><p>We faced each other, only a few meters between us. </p><p>“I am,” I replied. </p><p>Ymir’s eyes traveled along me. He took in my singed and bloody robes. His gaze fell to the blastershot along my ribs. </p><p>Across from me, he stood uninjured, perfect and composed. </p><p>Emotions were blurring in my chest. A pang of emotion ran through me, and I felt the same as I did when I was a child, standing up to the Sith Lord that had come to kill my father. </p><p>I was battered and weak, but I was still willing to fight. </p><p>Ymir took one step towards me, “You’re going to give up everything you’ve accomplished to claim revenge for one dead Rebel?”</p><p>“I gave up that dream on Korriban,” I said, “My father would never forgive me for the person I’ve become.”</p><p>“Then why throw it all away?” Ymir asked, as he took another step forward. The question was genuine, his voice was smooth and even. </p><p>I could feel his connection to the Darkside, that open channel he had cultivated for decades. </p><p>“Because no one should have this much power,” I answered, my voice rang clear, “You’re going to create a wound in the Force. You’ll let the Darkside consume the Galaxy!”</p><p>There was fire in Ymir’s eyes and a prideful set to his jaw. </p><p>“No other Sith has accomplished what I have!” Ymir declared, “You really think that you can stand in my way?”</p><p>“Yes,” I growled, answering his challenge. </p><p>It was always going to come to this. Ever since Ymir stepped into my home. Ever since he made the decision to let me live, I knew I had to fight him. </p><p>While there was still breath in my body, I wouldn’t give up. </p><p>I thumbed the dials on my lightsabers and Ymir did the same. </p><p>Both of us were connected to the Darkside. </p><p>Ymir’s energy was like a river, powerful and true in its path. His size and strength were his natural advantages. His years of training and mastery of the Force made him nearly undefeatable. </p><p>I pressed forward, sinking into the moment and my own connection with the Darkside. I had promised myself to that vast well of power, and I felt it coursing through me. </p><p>I made the first move, aiming a blow towards Ymir’s chest. </p><p>He deflected my blade, and used the opportunity to lunge. </p><p>My second sword was coming around in defense. </p><p>I had to stay in close. I had to land the first hit. </p><p>I wouldn’t survive a drawn-out battle. I was already injured, already exhausted, but I wasn’t going to stop. </p><p>I was going to see this through. </p><p>Ymir delivered a sharp series of attacks that left me with my back towards the cliffs. He pressed forward, steering me towards the edge. </p><p>He was using the same strategy I had used against Ren, but Ymir wasn’t trying to spare my life. A fall from these cliffs would kill me. </p><p>Gritting my teeth, I pushed back against Ymir’s movements, trying to get into a better position. </p><p>He blocked my way, delivering strikes to every side, making me react to him.</p><p>With a cry I lunged forward. He stepped back to dodge the tip of my green blade. My other hand came around to protect my retreat, so he couldn’t push me over the cliff.  </p><p>I sidestepped, angling myself away from the edge. </p><p>Ymir found his opening. </p><p>I felt his blade enter my abdomen and wrench upwards, connecting with my lower ribs. </p><p>I dropped like a stone. </p><p>My body was going into shock, lightsabers falling from my hands. </p><p>From somewhere far away I heard screams. </p><p>Ymir was kneeling on the ground, scooping me into his arms, cradling my head against his chest. </p><p>My muscles were spasming. My lungs weren’t working. I could taste my own blood in my mouth. </p><p>“Oh Siobhan…” Ymir murmured. His large, calloused hand smoothed my hair from my face. “You were always my brave one… I never wanted to kill you…” his voice was so low and so quiet I could barely hear him over the wind. </p><p>I looked up into his face. With the last of my strength I <i>reached</i> for him, extending a hand. As my fingertips touched his face, I felt the tears on his cheeks. </p><p>Above us, the clouds boiled, filled with energy. Using the very last of my strength, my heart connected to the Darkside, I <i>drew</i> that power down from the heavens. </p><p>The hair on my arms stood up. Time slowed, almost to a standstill.</p><p>A bolt of lightning enveloped us, as hot and bright as a star. </p><p>There were screams, but not from me or Ymir. </p><p>I was being pulled away, far from my body, far from this planet. </p><p>I had made my pact with the Darkside. </p><p>This was my sacrifice. </p><p>My soul was sinking as my body died, and I felt Ymir traveling down with me. </p><p>It was enough.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.</p><p>
  <b>Epilogue</b>
</p><p>Kylo Ren was on one knee in the audience chamber of The Supremacy. His heart felt heavy in his chest. On either side of him were two metal crates, each two meters long and half a meter wide. </p><p>Superior General Snoke sat before him on his large, black throne. </p><p>“Show me the bodies,” the Superior General sneered, slowly rising to his feet. </p><p>Kylo Ren was very aware that only two members of the Praetorian Guard remained, each flanking the doorway to the chamber. He raised his head just enough to see the way his leader rose from his seat, the way he avoided putting his weight on his left hip - more off-balance and ungainly than usual. </p><p>Still kneeling, Ren raised a hand, <i>lifting</i> the two boxes a few centimeters off the ground, floating towards the Superior General. </p><p>The world felt surreal and dreamlike around him. His ribs sent a pang with every breath. He was certain some were broken, but he didn’t know how many. He hadn’t slept for over two days - not since Malachor - not since he had lost Lord Ymir and Siobhan. </p><p>Ren watched the way the Superior General’s expression twisted with disgust as he peered down into the boxes. </p><p>“What did she do to him?” </p><p>“She summoned lightning,” Ren answered. His voice was hoarse and strained. </p><p>“Take off that fucking mask,” the Superior General snapped. </p><p>There was a moment of hesitation, a thrill of anger. Kylo knew Snoke sensed it, even as he obeyed. </p><p>The fasteners rattled and hissed, and he felt air on his face. Feeling exposed, he set the mask down on the floor at his side with careful movements. </p><p>“Where were you when this happened?” the Superior General demanded. </p><p>“She…” Kylo paused, choosing his words carefully, “I was in the temple when their fight began. Lord Ymir outfought her easily. I saw him strike her down… she was dying in his arms… I felt it… then there was a bolt of lightning…”</p><p>Tears rolled hot down his cheeks, and he felt the responding blush- a shameful display of emotion. </p><p>The Superior General was making a slow circle around the boxes, examining the messy, charred remains. He fixed Kylo with a sharp look, his small, pale blue eyes boring into him, “Are you done mourning her?” </p><p>“She doesn’t deserve to be mourned,” Kylo lied. His jaw was tight, “She was a traitor to the Sith, a traitor to the First Order.”</p><p>“Then your tears are just for Lord Ymir?” </p><p>Kylo Ren was silent, looking towards the shiny black metal floors. He was working to contain himself and harden his heart. </p><p>“You shouldn’t mourn him either,” the Superior General said, with bitter disdain, “He was a weak man, ruled by his passions. He allowed that miserable slag to grow out of control.”</p><p>Kylo’s heart was breaking in his chest, but he kept more tears from spilling. </p><p>He had stood by helplessly as Siobhan drew lightning from the sky. In an instant, he had lost the two people he loved most in this Galaxy. </p><p>Afterwards he had rushed forward to stop the fire from consuming their bodies, batting it out with his cloak. Not knowing what else to do, he had dragged their bodies aboard Ymir’s ship, leaving the charred remains on the floor of the cargo bay. </p><p>He remembered staring down at the two corpses, reduced to meat and bone, so different from the people they had been. There was a voice in his head telling him to contact the Superior General, but he couldn’t do it. </p><p>With his lightsaber in hand, he returned to the temple on Malachor, gashing at the walls with his blade, screaming out all his pain and rage. He had no idea how long he did this. It could have been hours as easily as minutes. </p><p>When he was done, he sank to his knees, more empty and alone than he had ever felt before. Even after his battle at the Academy, he had left with Adram and Yuri at his side. Now they were gone too.</p><p>The Superior General was talking again, dragging Kylo from his memories. </p><p>“Yesterday, I declared myself Supreme Leader of the First Order,” he said, standing in front of Kylo, “I need someone to be my right hand, someone who believes in our vision, someone who can execute the will of the First Order across the Galaxy.”</p><p>Kylo looked up, expressionless. He felt like he was lightyears away from his body. </p><p>“Kylo Ren, will you pledge your loyalty to me, your loyalty to the First Order?” Snoke asked, extending one large, gnarled hand. </p><p>Sitting alone, in the ruined Sith temple on Malachor, he had thought about deserting. He could take Lord Ymir’s ship and leave this all behind. </p><p>But where would he go? Who would take him in?</p><p>There was no place in the Galaxy for a failed Jedi, a broken Sith who had lost his teacher. </p><p>Siobhan had talked about freedom, but he wasn’t like her. He had renounced the Light and vowed to serve the First Order. </p><p>This was his place. The only place left.</p><p>Kylo Ren looked up at the Superior General - now Supreme Leader Snoke. </p><p>“Yes, Master,” he declared. The words were bitter on his lips, “I’m here to serve the will of the Supreme Leader and the First Order.”</p><p>There was nowhere else for him to go.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I want to start off by thanking every single person who read this story, no matter how much or how little. Thank you thank you thank you. Some of you have been reading since my very first posts. And… wow… that’s really amazing. Seriously, this story was so fucking long. The only reason that this whole thing got written and posted was that I lied to myself about how long it was. I lied to myself and stopped looking at the ao3 word count. Somehow, y’all stuck with it.  </p><p>First, I need to reveal a hidden MVP and the secret support behind this project. My fiance (who we will lovingly call Elijah) has read and edited every single chapter before it was posted. I wanted to mention him sooner but he didn’t want me to, so I held off until now. This amazing man endured all kinds of nonsense conversations about Star Wars and Kylo Ren. If you’ve never had a romantic partner make edits to your porn writing, you’re really missing out. (Elijah gave this a once over and changed porn writing to erotic fiction. God bless him and his kind, generous soul). Somehow, despite all this, he’s still able to watch movies that star Adam Driver. </p><p>Also, huge shout out/thanks to @rensempress, @melamemecosplays (on Instagram!) for wanting to cosplay Siobhan. Thank you to Babymace, who made a fabulous live-cast of most of the characters that’s up on Tumblr. Thanks to everyone for your lovely and insightful comments. And special thanks to Moondolly who was such an encouragement throughout. </p><p>Everyone’s participation and support means the world to me. </p><p>I know several of y’all are writers yourself and have stories up on ao3. I’ve been stuck in a writing/editing/posting vortex, but I’m looking forward to checking out your works, so expect some kudos and comments in the future!</p><p>Writing is one of the things I’m most self conscious about. Before this story, I’d never really shared anything I’ve written except with very close friends. I’ve been writing since kindergarten, but most of it is tucked away in notebooks and journals. I never knew if my writing was any good, and I was always shy because everything I like to write about is super dark. Also, like most writers, I’ve never finished more than a handful of short stories. There are novels that I’ve been working at and getting stuck on for ages. </p><p>I was so fucking nervous and sick to my stomach after I made my first post. The most I hoped for was a few kudos and a couple of comments. I wasn’t sure if I was going to post this whole thing, and I almost stopped after Book 2. Your comments really kept me going. </p><p>After such a sad ending to this story. Some of y’all might be done with me, and I definitely understand. </p><p>I wrote the kind of story that I wanted to read. This whole thing started from just a handful of ideas. I dreamed up the introduction- a scene where Siobhan and Kylo Ren do a mission together- She takes him out to a party- She has a giant badass villain fight as a Sith- She makes a house of her own, surrounded by amazing women- and she dies at the end. The rest of the story was just about wanting to flesh out the world. </p><p>I’ve been a Star Wars nut since I was little, so I’ve had years of daydreaming about how things work. I was the weird kid that borrowed Star Wars books from the library and spent hours reading about all the spaceships and shit. I was also reading Han Solo paperbacks that came from the grocery store when I was, like, ten. You can only imagine my levels of coolness. </p><p>After this experience I’m feeling significantly more confident. I will be pursuing avenues to get paid to work on original projects full-time. For information on how to support me as I get from here to there, hop onto my <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/andromeda-rising-897">Tumblr</a>. </p><p>If you want to keep in touch with me, my email is andromedarising897@gmail.com. You can also hit me up on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/andromeda.rising/">Instagram</a> and <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/andromeda-rising-897">Tumblr</a>, where I’ll be making posts and updates. Some of y’all have reached out already. I’m generally pretty friendly, so definitely say hello if you feel like it!</p><p>Getting this story out into the world was such a wild ride. I quit a job I had worked at for over seven years (If you ever find yourself turning to novel-writing because it seems more enjoyable than what you’re getting paid to do, it’s time for a change). I moved to the other side of a mountain range, from a big city to a tiny valley town. A global pandemic happened/is currently happening. Writing and posting this story has been such an anchor during a huge period of transition. </p><p>Thank you all so much for being a part of this project with me.</p>
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